lynx112
03-05-2006, 04:33 PM
DERMOT O'LEARY INTERVIEW
How would you describe Big Brother’s Little Brother?
It’s essentially your every day catch-up with what’s going on in the house, with a slightly sideways glance at stuff. It’s a show for Big Brother fans to revel in, and often they seem to know more than we do. It is what it says on the tin, it is Big Brother’s Little Brother, so we love Big Brother, but at the same time, we’re not averse to kicking Big Brother in the shins and running away. Like any little brother, we can be very mischievous.
You have had to do some pretty daft things on the show. What was the worst?
The most humiliating thing ever was interviewing Marco in a paddling pool. It was the worst moment of my life. It’s quite unflattering, being filmed with no top on when you’re sat down. I’m not in bad shape, but I’ve got a little bit of fat. I looked back on it and thought ‘Am I that fat?’ God, I endeavoured to get back in shape afterwards. It was humiliating as well. Because of health and safety, the paddling pool couldn’t be filled right up in case it broke. We didn’t have bath foam, so I ended up getting into a paddling pool with a couple of inches of water, with washing up liquid in it, all going right up my arse. My questions were all stuck together, because washing up liquid is actually quite sticky. It was horrible – the worst moment of my professional career.
How do you keep the show fresh, after so many programmes? Will you change anything this year?
I’m not sure. The tricky thing is, you want to try and keep it fresh, of course. Already we’ve got a fair few items in development which should be really good fun. I think the key, for me, is that it’s all about the minutiae of people’s lives and what they do in the house. There’s always stuff there we can play with. So it’s about finding Anthony’s Dance Troupe and getting them down, or finding Maxwell and Saskia’s mates and trying to guess whether they’re compatible or not. So the different characters in the house help us keep things fresh.
Do you still enjoy presenting BBLB?
What are you talking about? You can’t do a show like that if you don’t enjoy it. I love it. A big attraction of it is the fact that it’s live.
Do you ever worry that contestants can come across in a bad light?
We’re not responsible for what comes out of their mouths inside the house. And these people who reckon it’s all edited and cut and spliced together – we can’t do that! There are people watching this 24 hours-a-day seven days a week. But you can’t be held responsible for people’s words and actions inside the house.
So they’re under no illusions about what they’re getting into?
The contestants are told, ‘Look, if you want fame, you’d better go and audition for Pop Idol or something, cos you’re not going to get it here. You’ll make a bit of money, and you’ll come out and people will like you, and in equal measure people will hate you, and then that’s it. We’re not going to promise you anything other than that.’
There’s still a fair amount of intellectual snobbery regarding the show. What do you say to that?
You put people in this highly pressured, media-intensive and socially intensive environment, and it’s a fascinating case-study in human behaviour. Desmond Morris gets as much out of it as anyone off the street. I got an email from him saying ‘Look, this is still the best case-study in human behaviour I can imagine. I’m not saying I like it – in many ways I’m appalled by it – by I’m still watching it.’
Everyone dislikes some of the contestants from time to time. Do you?
Yeah, sometimes.
Does that make it difficult to interview them and be civil to them?
Well, it’s interesting, because the people who you think you’re going to dislike sometimes turn out to be okay and vice versa. For example, Science was horrible when he was in the house – he was really nasty to a lot of people, and then he came out and I’ve never met a more polite, well-raised, humble man. He was a pleasure to meet, a genuinely nice chap. And he didn’t change over the week, which some of them do.
After they come out, you see a lot of the evictee that week on your show. Do you really see them change over that time?
Definitely, some of them. Suddenly everyone knows who they are. So they come in on the Sunday and they’re startled bunnies, properly damaged goods. It’s quite hard to get a decent interview out of them, and you don’t have it in you to be harsh with them. Then on Monday they’re really tired. Everyone’s rubbish on Monday – by then they’ve done all the radio interviews in the morning, and by the time they get to us they’re knackered. Tuesday some of them are quite nice and others have just started to get a little cocky. And by Wednesday, if they’re good, they’re good, if they’re bad they’re horrible.
What did you make of the celebrities after Celebrity Big Brother?
George Galloway was utterly charming. He was wonderful. I didn’t think I’d like him as much as I did. Unlike Dennis Rodman, who was a real idiot. He doesn’t care, he obviously did the show because he was bored. But he had this opportunity to come across as quite a nice guy. Then he came out and went to Stringfellows straight away. He had an hour’s sleep, and wouldn’t even speak to my researchers with decency. Then we got him on the show and he was so inarticulate and unpleasant, you just think ‘Why are you here? Come on! I’d rather you just weren’t on.’
Do you discuss the events in the house with Davina during Big Brother?
We normally see each other on Fridays, and then we’ll sit down in her dressing room or something and chat about it. And every now and again, if she’s done a really good interview, I’ll text her and tell her – that sort of thing.
Are there any secrets you can tell us about Big Brother this year?
You know I’d tell you if I knew. Which is precisely why I don’t know anything. They can’t trust me. All I know is this: They’ve got to get it right, because it’s so long this year. They’ve got to have something up their sleeve, and I’m sure they will do. I reckon it’ll be something special. We know we’ve got to put on a good show, and we will.
RUSSEL BRAND INTERVIEW
Have you been surprised how successful Big Brother’s Big Mouth has become?
I’m happy it’s done well. I didn’t have any expectations, except that it would be a laugh and be good, and it’s got better. It’s got really good people working on it, so I think it’s inevitable that it’s become so good. I’m glad people like it though – that’s brilliant.
It gets an impressive audience for E4, doesn’t it?
Yeah. The last one in Celebrity Big Brother got more viewers than Channel 4 had at the same time. You can’t argue with statistics! I think it’s because it’s a show that gives a voice to everyone who wants to talk about Big Brother, whether at home or in the studio.
In the same period your own stock’s risen, culminating in you being named Time Out’s Stand Up of the Year this year. Have you been tempted to give up presenting to concentrate on the stand up?
The two can work quite well in tandem. Big Brother and Celebrity Big Brother is at most four months a year, which gives me the rest of the time to do stand-up. And I really enjoy doing Big Mouth, so I’ve not been tempted to give it up.
Considering your politics, being a presenter on a Big Brother show isn’t exactly an act of revolution, is it?
You mean because Rob Newman wouldn’t do it, or Mark Thomas? I like it because it’s live, and it’s talking to people about people. I think that’s good, that is in keeping with what I believe. I don’t feel at all compromised by doing Big Mouth. It’s just people talking about humanity and people’s behaviour towards each other. I’m always trotting out that Desmond Morris, the anthropologist, said: ‘If you visited some indigenous Australian tribe, and you listened to their campfire mutterings of an evening, they wouldn’t be talking about Gods and mythology, they’d be talking about the next tribe and who was doing what.’ We’re so atomised in society now, and Big Brother gives us common next-door neighbours. While it is on, we all live next door to that house. Of course you can look at it and say it’s exploitative, it’s sensational, it’s salacious, but what’s always amazed me about it is that humanity always emerges. Preston and Chantelle are in love for heaven’s sake, what more do you want from life?
How much of Big Brother do you watch when the series is on?
I haven’t got time to watch more than an hour a day. I watch the main show, and then maybe if something mad happens I’ll tune in and watch that. But that’s all I can manage, because we’re so busy working on the programme.
Did you enjoy Celebrity Big Brother this year?
I thought it was really fantastic. I loved Dennis Rodman – he was like a great big bear who slowed his heart rate right down to exist in there when he realised he wasn’t going to be having it orf. I loved George Galloway, for how seriously he took it. I liked it that he thought Preston was a plutocrat. Preston ain’t a plutocrat, he’s just a bloke in the Ordinary Boys. It’s a term that should be used to describe Idi Amin or Robert Mugabe, not Ian Curtis or Preston. Pete Burns was intense, Traci was dead beautiful. I thought it was really great television. Not to mention the whole Chantelle thing – look what’s happened to her.
The audience on Big Mouth are very vocal. Where do you get them from?
I think they’re just fans of Big Brother from across the country who have found it like a church. ‘If you build it, they will come’.
Do you ply them with booze to make them so opinionated?
I personally lacquer jelly beans with a high resolution alcohol solution so that they’re off their heads by the time they get into that studio. I take personal responsibility for that. In fact, I delight in it, I delight in seeing people vulnerable.
It can be completely chaotic on the show. Do you ever worry that things are getting out of hand?
No. I like it. I like it when things go mad. That’s when I feel at home, whether it’s someone getting up and walking out of the studio or someone starts going mental, that makes me excited. That’s how I feel all the time.
Has swearing been a problem on Big Mouth?
Not really. It’s better the show being on after the watershed so you don’t have to worry about it. I don’t swear on television unless it’s absolutely called for. I’m not really into it. I prefer to talk like it’s the old days.
Do you get a kick out of the fact that the show is live?
Yeah, I love it. Live television is much better. I do get really nervous, but that nervous energy facilitates an excitement. That’s just your body getting you ready to have a right laugh.
What have been your favourite moments on Big Brother’s Big Mouth?
I like doing things with Little Paul Scholes [his regular puppet guest], because I liked the development of that character and that relationship. I liked some of the returning fans, they can be a real laugh. I love the joke at the top of the show where we pick out a moment from the house and look at it again.
And on the series last summer?
I liked Craig. I liked him wrestling with his dilemma, bless him. I enjoyed him enormously, I thought he was a hero. And I thought Anthony was lovely, and a worthy winner. And Makosi was gorgeous. I thought it was a great series.
Have things ever gone really badly wrong on Big Mouth?
Yeah, loads of times. On the last show, the stuff that’s meant to go directly into my ear was broadcast, so everybody heard ’25 seconds to the competition’. Michael Barrymore heard that and looked all confused, so I had to say ‘Don’t worry Michael, we all heard that voice’.
What do you make of Big Brother obsessives?
I like them. I like people. I think everyone’s lovely. I’ve never had anyone on that show who I’ve thought: ‘Ooh, you horrible, spiteful, selfish bastard.’ Except perhaps for me. And even I’m alright really.
Will you be changing anything about the show this year, or is it a case of ‘If it ain’t broke don’t fix it’?
It’s a case of ‘If it ain’t broke, meddle with it’ that’s the policy we’re employing. Because it’s going to be four shows a week over 13 weeks, we’re introducing some new characters. As well as Little Paul Scholes there’s going to be a menagerie of animals turning up in the show, and some interesting new items.
Is this the longest that you’ve been without being fired from a job?
Yeah, definitely. Easily. By far and away. I’ve never done anything for that long. I was probably never even at a school for that long. It’s a miracle that it’s gone on as long as this. I don’t want to get fired from this job. I want to leave with everyone saying ‘well done, you’ve done great’, not with someone standing near a window with broken glass, crying, and someone else nervously shaking with spit on their chin. I don’t want that energy any more.
MARCUS BENTLEY INTERVIEW
How did you land the job as the Big Brother narrator?
Going back to June 2000, the producers were putting the final touches to the show, and they’d got hundreds of voiceover samples from all the big voiceover agents, and they liked what I did on a demo they’d asked me to do. They asked me to say a few things off a script – stuff like ‘So-and-so’s in the bedroom, telling the boys something his mother wouldn’t like to know’, that type of thing. And fortunately they mentioned that they had chickens outside, and I was told later that they particularly liked the way I said the word ‘chickens’. So it was very fortunate for me that they’d decided to have chickens in the first series. They asked me if I’d like to do it, and I thought ‘Do I really want to be committed for twelve weeks?’ And I’m very glad I said yes!
You had been on the verge of jacking in the acting and voiceover work to become a teacher, hadn’t you?
Absolutely. The acting was getting sparse. I was doing a few voiceovers, I wasn’t going to pass up on them because they’re quite lucrative – especially the commercials. But the acting wasn’t really paying, I’d started having children, and I needed to make some dough, so we’d actually moved up north after ten years down south, and I’d actually started doing a bit of teaching. And it was Sod’s Law – I’d moved up north lock, stock and barrel, and then Big Brother took off. Halfway through Big Brother it goes absolutely massive with the Nasty Nick thing, and suddenly I’m in demand to do voiceovers for the most weird and wonderful things, and I was flying back-and-forth to London two or three times a week, and it was just getting ridiculous, so we just thought ‘That’s it, it looks like Big Brother’s going to be around for a while’ so we moved back.
Why do you think they chose you? Were they specifically after a north eastern accent?
I don’t think they were specifically looking for anything. I think they just thought my accent was a bit different. That’s what I imagine, but I’m putting words into their mouths. They just thought it would be a bit different, and for me the rest is history.
What makes a good voiceover artist?
I don’t think I’m just a north eastern voice, I’ve got a particular style. That’s what makes a voiceover work. For instance I’m a big fan of Stephen Fry. He’s got the most beautiful, fruity, rich and gorgeous voice. I love him reading the Harry Potter stuff, he just brings every single syllable to life. That’s what I’d like to emulate in my own little way. When I was a child, they used to have these adverts for Mr Kipling’s Cakes, and this guy who did the voiceover for his ‘exceedingly good cakes’ was brilliant – it made you want a bloody cake. He was an old bloke, and he had this gorgeous voice.
What’s your working day like when Big Brother’s going on?
I live in Canterbury, which is a pretty big trek. It’s about 60 miles from London, but by the time we get over to the Elstree Studios, it’s taken about three hours each way. I arrive at the Elstree Studios at about 1pm, in case they’re ready early. They’re normally ready for me at about 2 o’clock. In the early days I used to watch a rough copy of the show, to get an idea, but quite frankly after about 600 episodes, I pretty much know what I’m doing now. It takes me about 5 minutes to do – let’s face it, I’m reading out loud, so it’s pretty easy. I record it, and then I hang around with the producers and the editors putting the show together, and I’m around to do pick ups if they decide the voiceover didn’t work or another bit of script is needed. Sometimes I’m also doing Diary Room Uncut at the same time.
Do you get involved in other stuff behind the scenes?
I’m probably the only person who’s been involved in every Big Brother episode since the beginning. So I’m there as Joe Public in the final viewing. That’s really nice, that’s also become a part of my job, which is very interesting, seeing these incredibly talented people working. There must be 200-300 people working on that show. I don’t know anybody who’s not completely involved in it, talking about it all the time. I’ve never worked on anything where people are so wholeheartedly obsessed with it, from top to bottom. People say to me, ‘Do you get sick of it?’ No, absolutely not. If I got sick of the show, it would be terrible, because I’m involved every single day. I don’t get a day off, so it would be absolutely excruciating if I hated the show. But it’s one of the best shows on TV.
Did you ever think the job would turn out to be such a massive feature of your life?
Absolutely not. Not at all. As an actor, you want to have some sort of recognition, and a bit of money in the bank. It just became bigger and bigger. Initially I thought I’d get nine weeks’ work and that would be it. ‘Well, that’s not bad’ I thought.
Why do you think such a fuss has been made about your voiceovers?
I think if they’d used the regular type of voiceover, like a BBC announcer, none of this would’ve happened. Nobody would’ve really noticed the voice. But I think people thought ‘Who the hell is that?’ Luckily most people loved it, though I read one online review saying ‘Possibly the worst voiceover for many a year’. One comment I read was ‘I can’t believe we have to listen to that Geordie bastard. If I wanted to listen to *******ing Geordie bastards, I’d go and *******ing live up there.’
When did you realise you’d become famous?
When people wanted to interview me. I don’t think anyone has ever become famous for what I do. You get people who have been actors and become famous for their voices, like Tom Baker. He’s now famous for his voice, but he was a very successful actor, and a popular Dr Who. I don’t think anybody’s ever done it this way round. I’m hoping to be Dr Who one day! I had to have media training, and was doing all these interviews. It wasn’t just the red tops, it was papers like the Guardian as well. The Guardian’s section two did a massive piece, I was on the front of it! From one of their eminent writers, saying ‘He’s a legend’ and ‘His voice oozes caramel’ all of that stuff, and I’m just thinking ‘Oh my God, this is the bloody Guardian!’ It’s been an absolute treat. And I’m not kidding myself: I read out loud, I know that.
Do you get recognised a lot for your voice?
Yeah, occasionally, especially during Big Brother. I live in Canterbury, which is a small town in Kent. I suppose if I was up in the North East I’d just blend in. But down there I stick out like a sore thumb. Because the programme is watched by 5 million people a night, and my name is first up on the credits, people know my name. Especially if I’m in a shop and I’m paying by card they can see my name and then they’ll realise. One time I was paying for a pair of shoes for my young daughter, and the girl said ‘You sound just like that bloke off Big Brother’ and my daughter said ‘It is him’ and she went flapping round the shop like a Budgie let out of a cage, and she was hyperventilating and telling everybody. Which was great, but also embarrassing when you’re trying to buy a pair of shoes. But I must say, it’s great fun.
Do people get you to say the same stuff to them all the time?
Yeah, it’s always ‘Day 22 in the Big Brother house’ or ‘You decide’. People always want me to do their answer machines as well. It’s great. I must be on tonnes of phones.
Your clearly a fan of the show. What have been your favourite moments?
Nasty Nick getting his comeuppance. He once described my voice as like listening to somebody doing a documentary on sewage farming. And maybe Jade getting her ‘kebab’ out. Kate Lawler trying to put her trousers on when she was drunk. Just silly little things. Ahmed smashing the plates, all that arguing did my head in, but was great fun.
How would you describe Big Brother’s Little Brother?
It’s essentially your every day catch-up with what’s going on in the house, with a slightly sideways glance at stuff. It’s a show for Big Brother fans to revel in, and often they seem to know more than we do. It is what it says on the tin, it is Big Brother’s Little Brother, so we love Big Brother, but at the same time, we’re not averse to kicking Big Brother in the shins and running away. Like any little brother, we can be very mischievous.
You have had to do some pretty daft things on the show. What was the worst?
The most humiliating thing ever was interviewing Marco in a paddling pool. It was the worst moment of my life. It’s quite unflattering, being filmed with no top on when you’re sat down. I’m not in bad shape, but I’ve got a little bit of fat. I looked back on it and thought ‘Am I that fat?’ God, I endeavoured to get back in shape afterwards. It was humiliating as well. Because of health and safety, the paddling pool couldn’t be filled right up in case it broke. We didn’t have bath foam, so I ended up getting into a paddling pool with a couple of inches of water, with washing up liquid in it, all going right up my arse. My questions were all stuck together, because washing up liquid is actually quite sticky. It was horrible – the worst moment of my professional career.
How do you keep the show fresh, after so many programmes? Will you change anything this year?
I’m not sure. The tricky thing is, you want to try and keep it fresh, of course. Already we’ve got a fair few items in development which should be really good fun. I think the key, for me, is that it’s all about the minutiae of people’s lives and what they do in the house. There’s always stuff there we can play with. So it’s about finding Anthony’s Dance Troupe and getting them down, or finding Maxwell and Saskia’s mates and trying to guess whether they’re compatible or not. So the different characters in the house help us keep things fresh.
Do you still enjoy presenting BBLB?
What are you talking about? You can’t do a show like that if you don’t enjoy it. I love it. A big attraction of it is the fact that it’s live.
Do you ever worry that contestants can come across in a bad light?
We’re not responsible for what comes out of their mouths inside the house. And these people who reckon it’s all edited and cut and spliced together – we can’t do that! There are people watching this 24 hours-a-day seven days a week. But you can’t be held responsible for people’s words and actions inside the house.
So they’re under no illusions about what they’re getting into?
The contestants are told, ‘Look, if you want fame, you’d better go and audition for Pop Idol or something, cos you’re not going to get it here. You’ll make a bit of money, and you’ll come out and people will like you, and in equal measure people will hate you, and then that’s it. We’re not going to promise you anything other than that.’
There’s still a fair amount of intellectual snobbery regarding the show. What do you say to that?
You put people in this highly pressured, media-intensive and socially intensive environment, and it’s a fascinating case-study in human behaviour. Desmond Morris gets as much out of it as anyone off the street. I got an email from him saying ‘Look, this is still the best case-study in human behaviour I can imagine. I’m not saying I like it – in many ways I’m appalled by it – by I’m still watching it.’
Everyone dislikes some of the contestants from time to time. Do you?
Yeah, sometimes.
Does that make it difficult to interview them and be civil to them?
Well, it’s interesting, because the people who you think you’re going to dislike sometimes turn out to be okay and vice versa. For example, Science was horrible when he was in the house – he was really nasty to a lot of people, and then he came out and I’ve never met a more polite, well-raised, humble man. He was a pleasure to meet, a genuinely nice chap. And he didn’t change over the week, which some of them do.
After they come out, you see a lot of the evictee that week on your show. Do you really see them change over that time?
Definitely, some of them. Suddenly everyone knows who they are. So they come in on the Sunday and they’re startled bunnies, properly damaged goods. It’s quite hard to get a decent interview out of them, and you don’t have it in you to be harsh with them. Then on Monday they’re really tired. Everyone’s rubbish on Monday – by then they’ve done all the radio interviews in the morning, and by the time they get to us they’re knackered. Tuesday some of them are quite nice and others have just started to get a little cocky. And by Wednesday, if they’re good, they’re good, if they’re bad they’re horrible.
What did you make of the celebrities after Celebrity Big Brother?
George Galloway was utterly charming. He was wonderful. I didn’t think I’d like him as much as I did. Unlike Dennis Rodman, who was a real idiot. He doesn’t care, he obviously did the show because he was bored. But he had this opportunity to come across as quite a nice guy. Then he came out and went to Stringfellows straight away. He had an hour’s sleep, and wouldn’t even speak to my researchers with decency. Then we got him on the show and he was so inarticulate and unpleasant, you just think ‘Why are you here? Come on! I’d rather you just weren’t on.’
Do you discuss the events in the house with Davina during Big Brother?
We normally see each other on Fridays, and then we’ll sit down in her dressing room or something and chat about it. And every now and again, if she’s done a really good interview, I’ll text her and tell her – that sort of thing.
Are there any secrets you can tell us about Big Brother this year?
You know I’d tell you if I knew. Which is precisely why I don’t know anything. They can’t trust me. All I know is this: They’ve got to get it right, because it’s so long this year. They’ve got to have something up their sleeve, and I’m sure they will do. I reckon it’ll be something special. We know we’ve got to put on a good show, and we will.
RUSSEL BRAND INTERVIEW
Have you been surprised how successful Big Brother’s Big Mouth has become?
I’m happy it’s done well. I didn’t have any expectations, except that it would be a laugh and be good, and it’s got better. It’s got really good people working on it, so I think it’s inevitable that it’s become so good. I’m glad people like it though – that’s brilliant.
It gets an impressive audience for E4, doesn’t it?
Yeah. The last one in Celebrity Big Brother got more viewers than Channel 4 had at the same time. You can’t argue with statistics! I think it’s because it’s a show that gives a voice to everyone who wants to talk about Big Brother, whether at home or in the studio.
In the same period your own stock’s risen, culminating in you being named Time Out’s Stand Up of the Year this year. Have you been tempted to give up presenting to concentrate on the stand up?
The two can work quite well in tandem. Big Brother and Celebrity Big Brother is at most four months a year, which gives me the rest of the time to do stand-up. And I really enjoy doing Big Mouth, so I’ve not been tempted to give it up.
Considering your politics, being a presenter on a Big Brother show isn’t exactly an act of revolution, is it?
You mean because Rob Newman wouldn’t do it, or Mark Thomas? I like it because it’s live, and it’s talking to people about people. I think that’s good, that is in keeping with what I believe. I don’t feel at all compromised by doing Big Mouth. It’s just people talking about humanity and people’s behaviour towards each other. I’m always trotting out that Desmond Morris, the anthropologist, said: ‘If you visited some indigenous Australian tribe, and you listened to their campfire mutterings of an evening, they wouldn’t be talking about Gods and mythology, they’d be talking about the next tribe and who was doing what.’ We’re so atomised in society now, and Big Brother gives us common next-door neighbours. While it is on, we all live next door to that house. Of course you can look at it and say it’s exploitative, it’s sensational, it’s salacious, but what’s always amazed me about it is that humanity always emerges. Preston and Chantelle are in love for heaven’s sake, what more do you want from life?
How much of Big Brother do you watch when the series is on?
I haven’t got time to watch more than an hour a day. I watch the main show, and then maybe if something mad happens I’ll tune in and watch that. But that’s all I can manage, because we’re so busy working on the programme.
Did you enjoy Celebrity Big Brother this year?
I thought it was really fantastic. I loved Dennis Rodman – he was like a great big bear who slowed his heart rate right down to exist in there when he realised he wasn’t going to be having it orf. I loved George Galloway, for how seriously he took it. I liked it that he thought Preston was a plutocrat. Preston ain’t a plutocrat, he’s just a bloke in the Ordinary Boys. It’s a term that should be used to describe Idi Amin or Robert Mugabe, not Ian Curtis or Preston. Pete Burns was intense, Traci was dead beautiful. I thought it was really great television. Not to mention the whole Chantelle thing – look what’s happened to her.
The audience on Big Mouth are very vocal. Where do you get them from?
I think they’re just fans of Big Brother from across the country who have found it like a church. ‘If you build it, they will come’.
Do you ply them with booze to make them so opinionated?
I personally lacquer jelly beans with a high resolution alcohol solution so that they’re off their heads by the time they get into that studio. I take personal responsibility for that. In fact, I delight in it, I delight in seeing people vulnerable.
It can be completely chaotic on the show. Do you ever worry that things are getting out of hand?
No. I like it. I like it when things go mad. That’s when I feel at home, whether it’s someone getting up and walking out of the studio or someone starts going mental, that makes me excited. That’s how I feel all the time.
Has swearing been a problem on Big Mouth?
Not really. It’s better the show being on after the watershed so you don’t have to worry about it. I don’t swear on television unless it’s absolutely called for. I’m not really into it. I prefer to talk like it’s the old days.
Do you get a kick out of the fact that the show is live?
Yeah, I love it. Live television is much better. I do get really nervous, but that nervous energy facilitates an excitement. That’s just your body getting you ready to have a right laugh.
What have been your favourite moments on Big Brother’s Big Mouth?
I like doing things with Little Paul Scholes [his regular puppet guest], because I liked the development of that character and that relationship. I liked some of the returning fans, they can be a real laugh. I love the joke at the top of the show where we pick out a moment from the house and look at it again.
And on the series last summer?
I liked Craig. I liked him wrestling with his dilemma, bless him. I enjoyed him enormously, I thought he was a hero. And I thought Anthony was lovely, and a worthy winner. And Makosi was gorgeous. I thought it was a great series.
Have things ever gone really badly wrong on Big Mouth?
Yeah, loads of times. On the last show, the stuff that’s meant to go directly into my ear was broadcast, so everybody heard ’25 seconds to the competition’. Michael Barrymore heard that and looked all confused, so I had to say ‘Don’t worry Michael, we all heard that voice’.
What do you make of Big Brother obsessives?
I like them. I like people. I think everyone’s lovely. I’ve never had anyone on that show who I’ve thought: ‘Ooh, you horrible, spiteful, selfish bastard.’ Except perhaps for me. And even I’m alright really.
Will you be changing anything about the show this year, or is it a case of ‘If it ain’t broke don’t fix it’?
It’s a case of ‘If it ain’t broke, meddle with it’ that’s the policy we’re employing. Because it’s going to be four shows a week over 13 weeks, we’re introducing some new characters. As well as Little Paul Scholes there’s going to be a menagerie of animals turning up in the show, and some interesting new items.
Is this the longest that you’ve been without being fired from a job?
Yeah, definitely. Easily. By far and away. I’ve never done anything for that long. I was probably never even at a school for that long. It’s a miracle that it’s gone on as long as this. I don’t want to get fired from this job. I want to leave with everyone saying ‘well done, you’ve done great’, not with someone standing near a window with broken glass, crying, and someone else nervously shaking with spit on their chin. I don’t want that energy any more.
MARCUS BENTLEY INTERVIEW
How did you land the job as the Big Brother narrator?
Going back to June 2000, the producers were putting the final touches to the show, and they’d got hundreds of voiceover samples from all the big voiceover agents, and they liked what I did on a demo they’d asked me to do. They asked me to say a few things off a script – stuff like ‘So-and-so’s in the bedroom, telling the boys something his mother wouldn’t like to know’, that type of thing. And fortunately they mentioned that they had chickens outside, and I was told later that they particularly liked the way I said the word ‘chickens’. So it was very fortunate for me that they’d decided to have chickens in the first series. They asked me if I’d like to do it, and I thought ‘Do I really want to be committed for twelve weeks?’ And I’m very glad I said yes!
You had been on the verge of jacking in the acting and voiceover work to become a teacher, hadn’t you?
Absolutely. The acting was getting sparse. I was doing a few voiceovers, I wasn’t going to pass up on them because they’re quite lucrative – especially the commercials. But the acting wasn’t really paying, I’d started having children, and I needed to make some dough, so we’d actually moved up north after ten years down south, and I’d actually started doing a bit of teaching. And it was Sod’s Law – I’d moved up north lock, stock and barrel, and then Big Brother took off. Halfway through Big Brother it goes absolutely massive with the Nasty Nick thing, and suddenly I’m in demand to do voiceovers for the most weird and wonderful things, and I was flying back-and-forth to London two or three times a week, and it was just getting ridiculous, so we just thought ‘That’s it, it looks like Big Brother’s going to be around for a while’ so we moved back.
Why do you think they chose you? Were they specifically after a north eastern accent?
I don’t think they were specifically looking for anything. I think they just thought my accent was a bit different. That’s what I imagine, but I’m putting words into their mouths. They just thought it would be a bit different, and for me the rest is history.
What makes a good voiceover artist?
I don’t think I’m just a north eastern voice, I’ve got a particular style. That’s what makes a voiceover work. For instance I’m a big fan of Stephen Fry. He’s got the most beautiful, fruity, rich and gorgeous voice. I love him reading the Harry Potter stuff, he just brings every single syllable to life. That’s what I’d like to emulate in my own little way. When I was a child, they used to have these adverts for Mr Kipling’s Cakes, and this guy who did the voiceover for his ‘exceedingly good cakes’ was brilliant – it made you want a bloody cake. He was an old bloke, and he had this gorgeous voice.
What’s your working day like when Big Brother’s going on?
I live in Canterbury, which is a pretty big trek. It’s about 60 miles from London, but by the time we get over to the Elstree Studios, it’s taken about three hours each way. I arrive at the Elstree Studios at about 1pm, in case they’re ready early. They’re normally ready for me at about 2 o’clock. In the early days I used to watch a rough copy of the show, to get an idea, but quite frankly after about 600 episodes, I pretty much know what I’m doing now. It takes me about 5 minutes to do – let’s face it, I’m reading out loud, so it’s pretty easy. I record it, and then I hang around with the producers and the editors putting the show together, and I’m around to do pick ups if they decide the voiceover didn’t work or another bit of script is needed. Sometimes I’m also doing Diary Room Uncut at the same time.
Do you get involved in other stuff behind the scenes?
I’m probably the only person who’s been involved in every Big Brother episode since the beginning. So I’m there as Joe Public in the final viewing. That’s really nice, that’s also become a part of my job, which is very interesting, seeing these incredibly talented people working. There must be 200-300 people working on that show. I don’t know anybody who’s not completely involved in it, talking about it all the time. I’ve never worked on anything where people are so wholeheartedly obsessed with it, from top to bottom. People say to me, ‘Do you get sick of it?’ No, absolutely not. If I got sick of the show, it would be terrible, because I’m involved every single day. I don’t get a day off, so it would be absolutely excruciating if I hated the show. But it’s one of the best shows on TV.
Did you ever think the job would turn out to be such a massive feature of your life?
Absolutely not. Not at all. As an actor, you want to have some sort of recognition, and a bit of money in the bank. It just became bigger and bigger. Initially I thought I’d get nine weeks’ work and that would be it. ‘Well, that’s not bad’ I thought.
Why do you think such a fuss has been made about your voiceovers?
I think if they’d used the regular type of voiceover, like a BBC announcer, none of this would’ve happened. Nobody would’ve really noticed the voice. But I think people thought ‘Who the hell is that?’ Luckily most people loved it, though I read one online review saying ‘Possibly the worst voiceover for many a year’. One comment I read was ‘I can’t believe we have to listen to that Geordie bastard. If I wanted to listen to *******ing Geordie bastards, I’d go and *******ing live up there.’
When did you realise you’d become famous?
When people wanted to interview me. I don’t think anyone has ever become famous for what I do. You get people who have been actors and become famous for their voices, like Tom Baker. He’s now famous for his voice, but he was a very successful actor, and a popular Dr Who. I don’t think anybody’s ever done it this way round. I’m hoping to be Dr Who one day! I had to have media training, and was doing all these interviews. It wasn’t just the red tops, it was papers like the Guardian as well. The Guardian’s section two did a massive piece, I was on the front of it! From one of their eminent writers, saying ‘He’s a legend’ and ‘His voice oozes caramel’ all of that stuff, and I’m just thinking ‘Oh my God, this is the bloody Guardian!’ It’s been an absolute treat. And I’m not kidding myself: I read out loud, I know that.
Do you get recognised a lot for your voice?
Yeah, occasionally, especially during Big Brother. I live in Canterbury, which is a small town in Kent. I suppose if I was up in the North East I’d just blend in. But down there I stick out like a sore thumb. Because the programme is watched by 5 million people a night, and my name is first up on the credits, people know my name. Especially if I’m in a shop and I’m paying by card they can see my name and then they’ll realise. One time I was paying for a pair of shoes for my young daughter, and the girl said ‘You sound just like that bloke off Big Brother’ and my daughter said ‘It is him’ and she went flapping round the shop like a Budgie let out of a cage, and she was hyperventilating and telling everybody. Which was great, but also embarrassing when you’re trying to buy a pair of shoes. But I must say, it’s great fun.
Do people get you to say the same stuff to them all the time?
Yeah, it’s always ‘Day 22 in the Big Brother house’ or ‘You decide’. People always want me to do their answer machines as well. It’s great. I must be on tonnes of phones.
Your clearly a fan of the show. What have been your favourite moments?
Nasty Nick getting his comeuppance. He once described my voice as like listening to somebody doing a documentary on sewage farming. And maybe Jade getting her ‘kebab’ out. Kate Lawler trying to put her trousers on when she was drunk. Just silly little things. Ahmed smashing the plates, all that arguing did my head in, but was great fun.