Is it right to date your friends ex partner???

[Mr XcX]

Another question I want to discuss on TIBB.

People thoughts?

[Doogle]

If they're okay with it.

And as long as you feel okay with it.

Depends on how the relationship ended I guess.

[Locke.]

No.

[Smithy]

If they're ok with it then I dont see why not

[CharlieO]

Depends if you still want the friend. :joker:

[Mr XcX]

I believe it is No.

I mean anyone can say "they are okay with it" but I would still believe that it would ruin a friendship.

[Doogle]

Yeah, I agree. People can claim they're alright but if they ever really loved the ex-partner it's going to be too difficult usually.

[Mr XcX]

It would also be wierd.

Going out etc. as you whould be with their ex.

[Mystic Mock]

I think you would be betraying your friend if you slept with there ex partner.

[Mr XcX]

I think you would be betraying your friend if you slept with there ex partner.

I agree.

[Tom4784]

If the shoe was on the other foot I'd be fine with it, When a relationship ends there's no point in wallowing about it. I'd just be happy for my friend and wsh them the best. We don't live in some glossy American teen drama so why bother acting like we do?

[Mr XcX]

If the shoe was on the other foot I'd be fine with it, When a relationship ends there's no point in wallowing about it. I'd just be happy for my friend and wsh them the best. We don't live in some glossy American teen drama so why bother acting like we do?

I am sorry but I would not be fine with it.

I would feel backstabbed and it would cause me to become suspicious as if they had an affair when they where together etc.

[MTVN]

Umm after a while and, like others have said, if they're genuinely alright with it.

[Mr XcX]

Umm after a while and, like others have said, if they're genuinely alright with it.

So if they said No they where not alright with it you would not continue with the relationship.

[Josy]

My answer to the poll question is no, I personally wouldn't date a friends ex partner.

[Tom4784]

I am sorry but I would not be fine with it.

I would feel backstabbed and it would cause me to become suspicious as if they had an affair when they where together etc.

Why waste your time obsessing over other people's relationships though, just deal with the fact it's over and move on. It's something that annoys me when an ex just doesn't let go and makes everything about them,

What's the point of ruining someone else's happiness just because of a little unfounded and pointless paranoia?

[Mr XcX]

Why waste your time obsessing over other people's relationships though, just deal with the fact it's over and move on. It's something that annoys me when an ex just doesn't let go and makes everything about them,

What's the point of ruining someone else's happiness just because of a little unfounded and pointless paranoia?

I would never throw my friend in the gutter just for a FAKEmance like JJJosie.

No, I would not. You would betray your friend and then the relationship would not work out.

A friend would expect the other not to do that!!!!! :shocked:

[Locke.]

You would always be wondering if they always fancied each other when you were together.

I definitely wouldn't be ok with it, an I'd never go with a friends ex either.

[Mr XcX]

You would always be wondering if they always fancied each other when you were together.

I definitely wouldn't be ok with it, an I'd never go with a friends ex either.

My point. :)

[Tom4784]

I would never throw my friend in the gutter just for a FAKEmance like JJJosie.

No, I would not. You would betray your friend and then the relationship would not work out.

A friend would expect the other not to do that!!!!! :shocked:

Why would you make it an ultimatum though? It's just stupidly irrational. It's not cheating so why would you waste your time getting upset over it? To me it's just projecting your own issues onto other people.

[Mr XcX]

Why would you make it an ultimatum though? It's just stupidly irrational. It's not cheating so why would you waste your time getting upset over it? To me it's just projecting your own issues onto other people.

No it is not.

IMO if a friend did that to me then they were not a friend in the first place. How is that "projecting issues" onto others. :shocked:

[Locke.]

Mr XcX is actually right on this one :joker:

[Tom4784]

No it is not.

IMO if a friend did that to me then they were not a friend in the first place. How is that "projecting issues" onto others. :shocked:

If you so willingly throw away friendships because you don't like who your friend is going out with then you won't have many in the long run. What I mean by projecting is that your putting all your suspicion and paranoia on them to taint what they have for no reason other then jealousy. It's just very childish I think.

[Mystic Mock]

No it is not.

IMO if a friend did that to me then they were not a friend in the first place. How is that "projecting issues" onto others. :shocked:

Exactly Mr XCX.

[Niamh.]

Generally speaking no unless they weren't seeing them very long and had no feelings what so ever for them

[Vicky.]

Depends on the circumstances.

If they were together a month or whatever and it wasnt serious then yeah probably.

If they had been together for years and were madly in love or something then probably not.

Then again, never really been in that situation. If I loved the person it would probably change everything :/

[Mr XcX]

If you so willingly throw away friendships because you don't like who your friend is going out with then you won't have many in the long run. What I mean by projecting is that your putting all your suspicion and paranoia on them to taint what they have for no reason other then jealousy. It's just very childish I think.

Well they would not be a friend cause they where so willing to start Shagging my ex, Hence I would willingly throw away that "friend" in the gutter. If I would not do it to them then they should not to me. A friend should respect my wishes and I have made it clear that I would not want any of my friends to go out with them. I would not Fake a lie and say "I am okay with it" because I am not okay with it.

[Vicky.]

Well they would not be a friend cause they where so willing to start Shagging my ex, Hence I would willingly throw away that "friend" in the gutter. If I would not do it to them then they should not to me. A friend should respect my wishes and I have made it clear that I would not want any of my friends to go out with them. I would not Fake a lie and say "I am okay with it" because I am not okay with it.

You could throw that the other way and say that you, as a friend, should not be demanding that your friend does/does not do things.

[Mr XcX]

Depends on the circumstances.

If they were together a month or whatever and it wasnt serious then yeah probably.

If they had been together for years and were madly in love or something then probably not.

Then again, never really been in that situation. If I loved the person it would probably change everything :/

If the person who had split up had their heart broken then you would not be a friend as like you said you would be rubbing their past in their face, possibly break their heart again as they thought you where their friend. Therefore there is nothing childish about not wanting your friend to date your ex.

[Mr XcX]

You could throw that the other way and say that you, as a friend, should not be demanding that your friend does/does not do things.

Well they would be free to do what they like. However, they would know that as for me an individual. I would not be happy with it. If they asked me, I would tell them straight up. I would not lie and say it is okay.

I am not being selfish but IMO if they did this they would not be a friend.

[Mystic Mock]

Well they would not be a friend cause they where so willing to start Shagging my ex, Hence I would willingly throw away that "friend" in the gutter. If I would not do it to them then they should not to me. A friend should respect my wishes and I have made it clear that I would not want any of my friends to go out with them. I would not Fake a lie and say "I am okay with it" because I am not okay with it.

Is this some personal issues your letting out here Mr XCX?

[Tom4784]

Well they would not be a friend cause they where so willing to start Shagging my ex, Hence I would willingly throw away that "friend" in the gutter. If I would not do it to them then they should not to me. A friend should respect my wishes and I have made it clear that I would not want any of my friends to go out with them. I would not Fake a lie and say "I am okay with it" because I am not okay with it.

Friendship is a two way street, If you constantly gave me ultimatums then I'd not bother with you. If you were a true friend you'd see that they were happy and be happy for them. It's just being highly strung and immature to let a past relationship ruin what you have with your friends,

People like who they like, It's cruel to get in the way of that just because you haven't moved on yet.

[Mr XcX]

Is this some personal issues your letting out here Mr XCX?

No, Thankfully I have very good friends.

This is just my point of view.

[Mr XcX]

Friendship is a two way street, If you constantly gave me ultimatums then I'd not bother with you. If you were a true friend you'd see that they were happy and be happy for them. It's just being highly strung and immature to let a past relationship ruin what you have with your friends,

People like who they like, It's cruel to get in the way of that just because you haven't moved on yet.

Sorry but I think you are wrong.

You expect people to sit through weddings they could have had. No. The friendship is a two way street yet I do not go around sleeping with their ex's yet they can with mine. It is not cruel. Doing this IMO is bad of the friend and would end the friendship.

[Mystic Mock]

No, Thankfully I have very good friends.

This is just my point of view.

Ok I was just wondering.:)

[Tom4784]

Sorry but I think you are wrong.

You expect people to sit through weddings they could have had. No. The friendship is a two way street yet I do not go around sleeping with their ex's yet they can with mine. It is not cruel. Doing this IMO is bad of the friend and would end the friendship.

It's not wrong to be emotionally mature. The fact is you'd be ruining two people's chance at happiness because you are pissed off about the past and that ain't right. If I had a friend like that I'd be counting my blessings that they'd end the friendship. Obsessing over a past relationship to the point you'd fall out with the people closest to you is extremely unhealthy.

[Mr XcX]

It's not wrong to be emotionally mature. The fact is you'd be ruining two people's chance at happiness because you are pissed off about the past and that ain't right. If I had a friend like that I'd be counting my blessings that they'd end the friendship. Obsessing over a past relationship to the point you'd fall out with the people closest to you is extremely unhealthy.

Well I disagree.

[Stacey.]

Yes...

[Mr XcX]

Anyway I would never date my friends ex because I would respect my friend enough not to go there. I would not want to risk losing my friendship. I certainly would not be comfortable with it. Yet some people on here seem to be.

[Mystic Mock]

Anyway I would never date my friends ex because I would respect my friend enough not to go there. I would not want to risk losing my friendship. I certainly would not be comfortable with it. Yet some people on here seem to be.

Some of them have probably already gone out with there mates ex partner thats why.

[Mr XcX]

Some of them have probably already gone out with there mates ex partner thats why.

lol, probably. Thats why I keep getting attacked for saying why this is wrong.

[Boothy]

No. I'd never feel comfortable being with my mates ex. It's just a no-go zone. I wouldn't even mind if they said they were okay with it, it's a respect thing IMO. Also, there would be comparisons made between you and your mate on both an emotional and physical level and that's something which I wouldn't even want to get involved in.

Too many complications for my liking.

['Conor]

Yes.

If your friend is completley over him/her and has moved on, then whats the problem?

[Josy]

lol, probably. Thats why I keep getting attacked for saying why this is wrong.

No one is attacking you, they just dont have the same opinion as you.

[Mr XcX]

No. I'd never feel comfortable being with my mates ex. It's just a no-go zone. I wouldn't even mind if they said they were okay with it, it's a respect thing IMO. Also, there would be comparisons made between you and your mate on both an emotional and physical level and that's something which I wouldn't even want to get involved in.

Too many complications for my liking.

Thank you.

I do believe the poll has been rigged. I am shocked Y'all are saying yes. :shocked:

[joeysteele]

If I really valued the friendship of my Friend then I think I would steer clear of their exes.Some things like Friendship go on for life and in bad times having your friends there is what gets you through.
I wouldn't risk losing a good friendship for this.

[Jordan.]

No, too weird.

[Mr XcX]

If I really valued the friendship of my Friend then I think I would steer clear of their exes.Some things like Friendship go on for life and in bad times having your friends there is what gets you through.
I wouldn't risk losing a good friendship for this.

Thank you :)

[Mr XcX]

No, too weird.

I agree. :hugesmile:

['Conor]

well i no i said yes above, but if the ex was just a recent ex and i wasnt 100% sure my friend was okay with it then i wouldnt go near his/her ex.

But, if my friend has moved on, been going out with someone for years and was in love with him/her and i started to get feelings for an ex boyfriend/girlfriend my friend used to date, and my friend was 100% okay with it, then i 100% would date my friends ex.

[Z]

It's not wrong to be emotionally mature. The fact is you'd be ruining two people's chance at happiness because you are pissed off about the past and that ain't right. If I had a friend like that I'd be counting my blessings that they'd end the friendship. Obsessing over a past relationship to the point you'd fall out with the people closest to you is extremely unhealthy.

But then if your friend dates your ex and you don't agree with that in principle, then they're clearly not worthwhile having as a friend to you, so I don't think it's unhealthy at all. I'd never date a friend's ex, I think there's a cooling off period where that's definitely not okay, maybe like a year after they'd broken up then sure, because you're not still hung up over the relationship after that length of time (generally speaking.) I think it's wrong to be immature about it, but I certainly wouldn't pretend to be fine with my friend dating my ex if I wasn't over it, and personally speaking it takes me a couple of months to get over a romantic attachment at least, so yeah. An ex girlfriend of mine dumped me and then had a secret thing with a guy I used to be close friends with, I ended that friendship because he'd been chatting her up behind my back, she dumped me and they started up a thing together. There's no point in keeping friends who would back stab you in such a way, in my opinion, and if that makes me emotionally immature then so be it, I'm happy with my decision.

[Shaun]

But then if your friend dates your ex and you don't agree with that in principle, then they're clearly not worthwhile having as a friend to you, so I don't think it's unhealthy at all. I'd never date a friend's ex, I think there's a cooling off period where that's definitely not okay, maybe like a year after they'd broken up then sure, because you're not still hung up over the relationship after that length of time (generally speaking.) I think it's wrong to be immature about it, but I certainly wouldn't pretend to be fine with my friend dating my ex if I wasn't over it, and personally speaking it takes me a couple of months to get over a romantic attachment at least, so yeah. An ex girlfriend of mine dumped me and then had a secret thing with a guy I used to be close friends with, I ended that friendship because he'd been chatting her up behind my back, she dumped me and they started up a thing together. There's no point in keeping friends who would back stab you in such a way, in my opinion, and if that makes me emotionally immature then so be it, I'm happy with my decision.

isn't that rather the point :p it all depends on whether the friend is over the split or not.

If they are, I don't really see a reason why not...I just personally probably wouldn't because I have extremely neurotic friends.

[Mr XcX]

But then if your friend dates your ex and you don't agree with that in principle, then they're clearly not worthwhile having as a friend to you, so I don't think it's unhealthy at all. I'd never date a friend's ex, I think there's a cooling off period where that's definitely not okay, maybe like a year after they'd broken up then sure, because you're not still hung up over the relationship after that length of time (generally speaking.) I think it's wrong to be immature about it, but I certainly wouldn't pretend to be fine with my friend dating my ex if I wasn't over it, and personally speaking it takes me a couple of months to get over a romantic attachment at least, so yeah. An ex girlfriend of mine dumped me and then had a secret thing with a guy I used to be close friends with, I ended that friendship because he'd been chatting her up behind my back, she dumped me and they started up a thing together. There's no point in keeping friends who would back stab you in such a way, in my opinion, and if that makes me emotionally immature then so be it, I'm happy with my decision.

This was the point I was making. I do not consider myself emotionally immature for my beliefs.

[Z]

isn't that rather the point :p it all depends on whether the friend is over the split or not.

If they are, I don't really see a reason why not...I just personally probably wouldn't because I have extremely neurotic friends.

Even if I was over it though, as in, I no longer felt any emotional attachment to the ex, I still wouldn't be fine with it. I just couldn't hang out with that friend while the ex was there, for example, seeing them acting like a couple when that had been me with them previously; it'd be like watching Mean Girls in real life :laugh:. If they ended up being together for life, then that's great for them, but I'd never get over that initial betrayal of friendship. I value my friends a lot.

[joeysteele]

Even if I was over it though, as in, I no longer felt any emotional attachment to the ex, I still wouldn't be fine with it. I just couldn't hang out with that friend while the ex was there, for example, seeing them acting like a couple when that had been me with them previously; it'd be like watching Mean Girls in real life :laugh:. If they ended up being together for life, then that's great for them, but I'd never get over that initial betrayal of friendship. I value my friends a lot.

Good point, also although a friend may say he/she is over it to you,inside they may not be,and it still could cost you that good friendship eventually as they likely pull away from you and see you less and less, for me it would not be worth that risk so as I said before I would steer clear of exes of friends.
Far too much to lose in the long run.

[Shaun]

the point of Mean Girls greg was that they were emotionally insecure teenage girls... this shouldn't be the case as adults. I just think it's a bit arbitrary to treat things as irrationally taboo. Of course if the split ended not-so-amicably, and you hated the ex, and didn't want to see them again, I can understand - but you can't end things, be emotionally detached, and still hold some kind of upper hand.

[Z]

the point of Mean Girls greg was that they were emotionally insecure teenage girls... this shouldn't be the case as adults. I just think it's a bit arbitrary to treat things as irrationally taboo. Of course if the split ended not-so-amicably, and you hated the ex, and didn't want to see them again, I can understand - but you can't end things, be emotionally detached, and still hold some kind of upper hand.

My point was I wouldn't want to see someone I used to have feelings for being romantic with a friend; it's just not right IMO and it's essentially dangling your emotions for all to see. It just depends on the three people involved and the circumstances of the break up, but in principle I don't agree with it and I don't think it's emotionally immature to say you wouldn't be okay with it or that you wouldn't do it, that's all.

[Niamh.]

Anyway I would never date my friends ex because I would respect my friend enough not to go there. I would not want to risk losing my friendship. I certainly would not be comfortable with it. Yet some people on here seem to be.

I agree

[CharlieO]

i thinks its fine i they are like in love but if its just like a easy shag then its disrespectful.

[Niamh.]

My point was I wouldn't want to see someone I used to have feelings for being romantic with a friend; it's just not right IMO and it's essentially dangling your emotions for all to see. It just depends on the three people involved and the circumstances of the break up, but in principle I don't agree with it and I don't think it's emotionally immature to say you wouldn't be okay with it or that you wouldn't do it, that's all.

I absolutely agree with that Greg:hugesmile:

[Iceman]

I did in the past, they hadnt been going out long so it wasn't too difficult.

[Sam:)]

Depends how hard they (the friend) took the break-up and how long they've been broken up

[Zippy]

well obviously it depends on the people involved and whether or not theyre bothered by it. Some will be more bothered than others. Obviously a lot depends on how the relationship ended and whether theres still resentment or jealousy issues etc.

But some people can move on and not really care who there ex is with even if its their BF. Indeed, some will even be happy for them and think theyre maybe a better match. So there's no definite answer. In principal it should be fine because theyre free agents and you can find love anywhere. Just because they were not right for you doesnt mean theyre not right for your friend.

[Benjamin]

I think you would be betraying your friend if you slept with there ex partner.

There is a difference between having sex with their ex partner and being in love with them though.

[Princess]

Well it all the depends on the friend and the ex, and whether your friend is ok with it. I'd feel weird personally but you can't say no for every single relationship.

[Mr XcX]

Any more thoughts TIBB?

[Mystic Mock]

There is a difference between having sex with their ex partner and being in love with them though.

I still dont think its right.

[Benjamin]

I still dont think its right.

You can't help who you fall in love with.

[Niamh.]

You can't help who you fall in love with.

I believe you can. If you don't start something with someone then you won't fall in love.

[Benjamin]

I believe you can. If you don't start something with someone then you won't fall in love.

But if it was your best friends ex, you would have got to know them at some point. I don't think it's a nice thing to happen, but if you are not together with that person then it's called life, things obviously didn't work for a reason between them.

[CharlieO]

I believe you can. If you don't start something with someone then you won't fall in love.

But then you may regret which in the long run can be very painful.

[Niamh.]

But if it was your best friends ex, you would have got to know them at some point. I don't think it's a nice thing to happen, but if you are not together with that person then it's called life, things obviously didn't work for a reason between them.

I really don't believe that people can be romantically "in love" until they are actually in a relationship and have gone through stuff together etc.

But then you may regret which in the long run can be very painful.

I would never regret not ruining a friendship:hugesmile:

[Captain.Remy]

When my friends and I met, we became a strong group of alpha males and we all agreed that no hoe will ever compromise our friendship between the 7 of us.

That happened once. We kicked the bitch and that mother****er out once in for all. Fine if they're happy, but ain't nobody going to come and **** with the peace.
Both of them regret it badly as their relationship didn't last long afterwards but it's too late. Our male friend screwed with us and he learnt the hard way that no one should mess with us.

We are not 14 y-o bitches to argue over somebody. We all have girlfriends but once a relationship is finished, we listen to what our friend had to say because "bros before hoes". Always. No matter what.

[Mr XcX]

When my friends and I met, we became a strong group of alpha males and we all agreed that no hoe will ever compromise our friendship between the 7 of us.

That happened once. We kicked the bitch and that mother****er out once in for all. Fine if they're happy, but ain't nobody going to come and **** with the peace.
Both of them regret it badly as their relationship didn't last long afterwards but it's too late. Our male friend screwed with us and he learnt the hard way that no one should mess with us.

We are not 14 y-o bitches to argue over somebody. We all have girlfriends but once a relationship is finished, we listen to what our friend had to say because "bros before hoes". Always. No matter what.

Amen!!!

[Z]

But if it was your best friends ex, you would have got to know them at some point. I don't think it's a nice thing to happen, but if you are not together with that person then it's called life, things obviously didn't work for a reason between them.

It's always sad when your friend's relationship ends, but I think for me, on the basis that you got to know them through your friend, you should therefore steer clear of them post break-up. If anything, there's the worry that they just want to use you to get back with the friend. If they break up and the ex disappears out of everyone's conscience and you suddenly bump into them a couple of years later and you really hit it off - I don't think it would be held against you, but entering into a relationship with your friend's ex before your friend has had time to move on to someone new, I think that's what I take issue with. It really does depend on each individual case, there are so many hypothetical situations to consider.

[Mr XcX]

I think the answer No is winning this debate thread peeps.

[Tom4784]

It looks even to me.

[Vicky.]

Yes 15 51.72%
No 14 48.28%


Dunno where you are looking mr xcx 0_o

[Smithy]

people'll have voted since he posted Vicky :p

[Benjamin]

It's always sad when your friend's relationship ends, but I think for me, on the basis that you got to know them through your friend, you should therefore steer clear of them post break-up. If anything, there's the worry that they just want to use you to get back with the friend. If they break up and the ex disappears out of everyone's conscience and you suddenly bump into them a couple of years later and you really hit it off - I don't think it would be held against you, but entering into a relationship with your friend's ex before your friend has had time to move on to someone new, I think that's what I take issue with. It really does depend on each individual case, there are so many hypothetical situations to consider.

Oh yeah, I mean getting with a friends ex later on. Not straight after they have split. That's just a s**t thing to do to your friend. That I wouldn't agree with.

[Mr XcX]

People need to seriously vote NO!!

FFS why is Yes winning. It is WRONG to date your friends - ex. Come on Peeps.

[Stacey.]

Oh yeah, I mean getting with a friends ex later on. Not straight after they have split. That's just a s**t thing to do to your friend. That I wouldn't agree with.

Right I definitely want my infraction reversed for saying the s word and not sensoring it now :bored:

[Glenn.]

I started going out with my mates ex girlfriend. We were together for 6yrs.

I lost a friend:joker:

[Benjamin]

Right I definitely want my infraction reversed for saying the s word and not sensoring it now :bored:

S**t is censored there though in my post.

[Benjamin]

People need to seriously vote NO!!

FFS why is Yes winning. It is WRONG to date your friends - ex. Come on Peeps.

Because not everyone has your opinion.