Would you date someone in a wheelchair?

[LemonJam]

Hmmmm?

I could, probably due to my upbringing being around people with disabilities anyway and I'm just weirdlol but if they look good and are a nice person then hells yeah.

Can you see past the chair or am I the only one?

[joeysteele]

Yes, no hesitation.

[Niamh.]

Probably if I was attracted to them but tbh I haven't been around many people who are in wheel chairs

[CharlieO]

If they had the same qualities that would draw me to a person with no disabilities then it wouldn't make a difference.

[Lee.]

http://media.skateboard.com.au/forum/images/andy_little_britain.jpg

:laugh:

Nah, but seriously, I could definitely see past the wheelchair. As long as somebody can make me laugh and washes regularly, it doesn't matter one bit about a disability

[Suze]

How you relate to the person should matter, not the disability.

[Beastie]

Yeah. Look at Artie from Glee. He's well fit!

[Stu]

Honestly no. I don't think I would be able to look past it.

[Judas]

I would like to say yes, but sadly no. I don't think I would feel there could be so much emotional contact, for some reason I think I would see them in a emotional sense as sterile? I know how rude, and wrong, that sounds but I think it's just because the only person I've ever met in a wheelchair was really boring and closed-book, so it's kind of associated in my mind. Unless of course I was with, and in love with them before they entered the wheelchair.

[Claymores]

One of our FMs is in a wheelchair - she is lovely person and I'd marry her in a second if not already taken :bawling:

I have one testicle gone and prone to cancer - should I have a badge and you start a thread about me?

"Would you date a bloke with only 1 bollock?"

How low or unthoughtful can TiBB become?????? Bring back Stace - at least she did it naiively instead of rude

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

One of our FMs is in a wheelchair - she is lovely person and I'd marry her in a second if not already taken :bawling:

I have one testicle gone and prone to cancer - should I have a badge and you start a thread about me?

"Would you date a bloke with only 1 bollock?"

How low or unthoughtful can TiBB become?????? Bring back Stace - at least she did it naiively instead of rude

:bored:

[LemonJam]

One of our FMs is in a wheelchair - she is lovely person and I'd marry her in a second if not already taken :bawling:

I have one testicle gone and prone to cancer - should I have a badge and you start a thread about me?

"Would you date a bloke with only 1 bollock?"

How low or unthoughtful can TiBB become?????? Bring back Stace - at least she did it naiively instead of rude

Well screw the fact that I grew up around people with disabilities, and to add my father also had testicular cancer and had one removed, so don't even try opening that kind of can of worms.

I don't see how it's rude, I think you're just trying to create a reaction. Good luck with that.

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

-starts would you date a guy with only 1 bollock thread-

[Niamh.]

I would like to say yes, but sadly no. I don't think I would feel there could be so much emotional contact, for some reason I think I would see them in a emotional sense as sterile? I know how rude, and wrong, that sounds but I think it's just because the only person I've ever met in a wheelchair was really boring and closed-book, so it's kind of associated in my mind. Unless of course I was with, and in love with them before they entered the wheelchair.

Why though? You can't judge every person in a wheel chair from 1 person you knew, that's crazy!

[Crimson Dynamo]

no i would not

[Tom4784]

Yes, I don't think it'd bother me in the slightest.

[Ninastar]

Honestly, I wouldn't. I would feel too guilty. Even though it has nothing to do with me they were perfectly happy even though they were in a wheelchair i would feel bad for them.

[Chuck]

I feel extremely guilty, awful, horrendous and shallow to say this, but I wouldnt. :sad:

[Beso]

Yes, unless it was that bloke off of the strangeways documentary on monday night.

[Shaun]

important question: can they get it up?

[unless they're female in which case sure]

[Chuck]

I think they can, but the positions would be limited. :sad:

[Niamh.]

I think they can, but the positions would be limited. :sad:

I think it depends where they're paralysed etc some can/some can't

[Chuck]

Omgz, it must feel awful to not able to get it up. :sad:
A man that can't get it up, is a man without dignity. :sad:

[Niamh.]

Omgz, it must feel awful to not able to get it up. :sad:
A man that can't get it up, is a man without dignity. :sad:

yeah, but that can happen to men who aren't in wheel chairs too

[Ninastar]

Yes, unless it was that bloke off of the strangeways documentary on monday night.

I wanted to watch this, what channel was it on?

[Chuck]

yeah, but that can happen to men who aren't in wheel chairs too

-is a lucky man-

[Benjamin]

Honestly I don't think I could. I'm too selfish a lot of the time and I'm hard work, so I wouldn't make their lives any easier.

[MTVN]

I feel extremely guilty, awful, horrendous and shallow to say this, but I wouldnt. :sad:

This. I feel like a prick for saying it but I dont think I would

[Locke.]

Any takers?

http://media.onsugar.com/files/2010/02/07/2/192/1922283/ff3021f7d0408102_locke_wheelchair.preview.jpg

[Ithinkiloveyoutoo]

Absobloody lutely!! To be honest I may be boy crazy but at the end of the day life is too short to worry about how you would look in public. In the end what matters is someone you can share life, your life and dislikes with. He would still have to have a face i was attracted to of course and as long as they can **** i'm fine :joker: But people in wheelchairs are able to do a lot of things and some of their will power and new found respect and passion for life make you fall in love with them.

[Doogle]

Of course.. Makes no difference to me.

[Niall]

Yeah. Look at Artie from Glee. He's well fit!

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkkmlwRmUr1qa7wzp.gif

But seriously, yeah I would. :)

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

http://holysoapcdn.channel5.com/assets/images/22788/20110404T124153_Five_Soaps_News_1-1_1301917319_large.jpg?1301918408

:worship:

[Beso]

I wanted to watch this, what channel was it on?

itv, you can find it in 4 parts on youtube if you type in strangeways episode 2 part1

[Ninastar]

itv, you can find it in 4 parts on youtube if you type in strangeways episode 2 part1

thank you :kiss:

[Kerry]

Yes, I could

[GypsyGoth]

Yep I would, I don't see it making a difference.

[Callum]

I don't think I could, nothing against people who use wheelchairs and I'd be more than happy to become best friends with someone in a wheel chair, just don't think I could date someone in one.

[BB_Eye]

Couldn't say for sure without having experienced it for myself. I wouldn't make me less attracted to them though.

[joeysteele]

I have 2 friends who started going out with each other,after they had been for only 2 weeks, on a trip he dived into the sea and near broke his neck hitting the bottom, he has been left partially paralysed and is in a wheelchair, this happened over 2 years ago now but it has made no difference at all to my other friend and they are planning to marry.

Neither has his being in a wheelchair changed in any way his true friends treatment towards him or even taking notice of his disabilities,all just want his Friendship.

[Judas]

Why though? You can't judge every person in a wheel chair from 1 person you knew, that's crazy!

I know, it is awfull. It's just I don't think I could find them attractive. Maybe it's just part of me, I guess I see it as a weakness. And the whole 'sterile' thing I guess stems from the one person I do know who was more plain and bland than an A4 peice of paper. I know it's band to stereotype, but for some reason I just don't think I could date someone in a wheelchair. It's bad, but I think true for me.

[Niamh.]

I know, it is awfull. It's just I don't think I could find them attractive. Maybe it's just part of me, I guess I see it as a weakness. And the whole 'sterile' thing I guess stems from the one person I do know who was more plain and bland than an A4 peice of paper. I know it's band to stereotype, but for some reason I just don't think I could date someone in a wheelchair. It's bad, but I think true for me.

yeah but there's plenty of able bodied people who are bland or emotionally sterile too:joker: I'm not saying you should date someone in a wheel chair, it was just the comment about them being emotionally sterile that I thought was a bit out of order!

[Judas]

yeah but there's plenty of able bodied people who are bland or emotionally sterile too:joker: I'm not saying you should date someone in a wheel chair, it was just the comment about them being emotionally sterile that I thought was a bit out of order!

No I know, it's bad. I guess it would change if I met someone different, I guess it's just like when you meet a dick head with a certain name, and before you meet someone else nice with that name you just hate it. Also it may be the general look of being in chair, I know it's wrong but I would feel like I couldn't just spontaneously go for a hug or something. I realise what an ignorant dick I sound.

[BigBrotherfan4ever]

As a wheelchair user myself, im absolutely astonished with some of the people's attitudes on this forum, of people who are in a wheelchair, im a happily married woman, i live life to full as best i can.

[Claymores]

Well screw the fact that I grew up around people with disabilities, and to add my father also had testicular cancer and had one removed, so don't even try opening that kind of can of worms.

I don't see how it's rude, I think you're just trying to create a reaction. Good luck with that.

This thread doesn't try to create a reaction? :conf: Jeez-oh kid - get a life or job. You seriously need to think about what yer saying.

[Stu]

As a wheelchair user myself, im absolutely astonished with some of the people's attitudes on this forum, of people who are in a wheelchair, im a happily married woman, i live life to full as best i can.
I'm astonished at that attitude to be honest. If I was in a wheelchair I would fully understand and accept some peoples instinctive aversion to want to get into a relationship with me. That's just being realistic.

Is it any different to virtually every single one of us who have at some point internally turned down, ignored or walked away from a potential relationship or encounter with someone at a bar of club because he or she was simply physically not to our tastes?

Is that also a sick, disgusting thing? No it's just biology. The way we are. And obviously not all of us are the same as evident by the fact that you are married. But if I had a choice between two equally attractive and interesting people but one was in a wheelchair then I would go for the non wheelchair. I'm just being honest with you here so I hope that doesn't sound too harsh but come on. I'm obligated at the end of the day to tell the truth. Not everyone here will do that.
















I declare this can of worms open!

[Zippy]

yes but Ive never been around somebody in one and probably not likely to be. They generally live restricted isolated lives(relatively speaking) so people like me don't really get to interact with them.

But yes, if we clicked and there was an attraction. Although I think the wheelchair may certainly present very real practical problems; it may limit their ability to have sex. You may even have to assist them to the toilet. So its a real issue but love could conquer all I guess. Or lust if theyre really hot.

[LemonJam]

This thread doesn't try to create a reaction? :conf: Jeez-oh kid - get a life or job. You seriously need to think about what yer saying.

1. I'm not a kid, don't ****ing patronize me you old drunk.

2. Of course it's creating a reaction, it is a hard subject but you're just making it worse.

3. Everybody else is fine with it, you're the only one making a fuss quelle ****ing suprise.

[Shaun]

This thread doesn't try to create a reaction? :conf: Jeez-oh kid - get a life or job. You seriously need to think about what yer saying.

Grow. Up. You. 45. Year. Old. ****ing. Joke.

[Zippy]

I would like to say yes, but sadly no. I don't think I would feel there could be so much emotional contact, for some reason I think I would see them in a emotional sense as sterile? I know how rude, and wrong, that sounds but I think it's just because the only person I've ever met in a wheelchair was really boring and closed-book, so it's kind of associated in my mind. Unless of course I was with, and in love with them before they entered the wheelchair.

dear Lord. What a narrow minded attitude.

thats just like saying you met a boring black person once and now associate all black people to be like that. Actually, its worse.

emotionally sterile? I would think if anybody knew about emotion its somebody struggling day to day trapped in a wheel chair. Seems its you thats emotionally sterile tbh.

[joeysteele]

dear Lord. What a narrow minded attitude.

thats just like saying you met a boring black person once and now associate all black people to be like that. Actually, its worse.

emotionally sterile? I would think if anybody knew about emotion its somebody struggling day to day trapped in a wheel chair. Seems its you thats emotionally sterile tbh.

A really good post Zippy,well said.

[Benjamin]

This thread doesn't try to create a reaction? :conf: Jeez-oh kid - get a life or job. You seriously need to think about what yer saying.

I don't think it was intended the way you seem to think it is. Yes it is a sensitive question, but one that people have differing opinions on.

[Ithinkiloveyoutoo]

As a wheelchair user myself, im absolutely astonished with some of the people's attitudes on this forum, of people who are in a wheelchair, im a happily married woman, i live life to full as best i can.

A huuuggggeee hug for you. I have nothing but respect. In a wheelchair I am sure you find things a lot harder than someone like me who still has use of her legs and yet you still see the bright side to life. Nothing but respect :worship:

[Jords]

I wouldnt go out my way to but if I liked them then yes I probably would.. without sounding horrible though it might go stale quick so I doubt it'd last.

However if I was in a good relationship with somebody, and then them became wheelchaired Id definitely stick with them :)

[Ithinkiloveyoutoo]

http://img833.imageshack.us/img833/7433/roseu.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/833/roseu.jpg/)

http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/7125/rose2jl.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/233/rose2jl.jpg/)

[Jords]

^
I watched a documentary on her, shes a legend.

[Ithinkiloveyoutoo]

^^definitely

[Zippy]

*googles disabled porn*




j/k

[Jords]

*googles disabled porn*




j/k

:laugh:

[Claymores]

I still think that some of the TiBB sprogs should wake-up and smell the coffee. Sure, in a perfect world we'd all be physically able and wheelchairs a thing of the past.

Life doesn't work that way and people who need assistance are still the same people. Scotland had a sweet health campaign about 'seeing past' the problems of those with physical or mental impairments - it was essentially about abilities.

If OP becomes unemployed and down on his luck, I wouldn't start a thread "would you date an unemployed bloke?". It seems to me that it's picking on people for an aspect of them.

[Jords]

sproggies

[Claymores]

Grow. Up. You. 45. Year. Old. ****ing. Joke.

At least you managed not to break the swear filter with your well-argued post. Thanks for the contribution

Was it journalist you wanted in your career ambition??? I can see lots of potential there

[Zippy]

I still think that some of the TiBB sprogs should wake-up and smell the coffee. Sure, in a perfect world we'd all be physically able and wheelchairs a thing of the past.

Life doesn't work that way and people who need assistance are still the same people. Scotland had a sweet health campaign about 'seeing past' the problems of those with physical or mental impairments - it was essentially about abilities.

If OP becomes unemployed and down on his luck, I wouldn't start a thread "would you date an unemployed bloke?". It seems to me that it's picking on people for an aspect of them.

I don't think he means any offence. Regardless of who is in a wheelchair and the reasons for it, some people can't see past the disability and the perceptions that come with it. Yes its mostly ignorance but it's still a genuine feeling that prevails in society.

A lot of people can't even look at somebody in a wheelchair; its like theyre invisible. I think they fear what could happen to them. Or maybe they fear they will give them a look of pity or disgust. Im very conscious of not wanting a disabled person to think Im pittying them. Thats the last thing they want.

But anyways, I think you're misreading the intentions of the thread just a little. :)

[Benjamin]

I still think that some of the TiBB sprogs should wake-up and smell the coffee. Sure, in a perfect world we'd all be physically able and wheelchairs a thing of the past.

Life doesn't work that way and people who need assistance are still the same people. Scotland had a sweet health campaign about 'seeing past' the problems of those with physical or mental impairments - it was essentially about abilities.

If OP becomes unemployed and down on his luck, I wouldn't start a thread "would you date an unemployed bloke?". It seems to me that it's picking on people for an aspect of them.

This is not picking on anyone. It's a question based on the world in which we live and yes, sometimes there will be answers people don't like around this subject but again that is the world in which we live. :)

[Claymores]

You're probably right Zips

I'd told BigBrotherFan4Ever about how I work for a Council who think they have disabled access - the disabilities main Officer is a wheelchair user and made us try one day using wheelchairs - Chief Exec was shocked.

My point was that people are still people - when LemonJam is unemployed, I WILL do the nasty question about dating an unemployed.

[Princess]

I'd like to think so, if I want to be someone and they happen to be in a wheelchair it's not an issue.

[Claymores]

This is not picking on anyone. It's a question based on the world in which we live and yes, sometimes there will be answers people don't like around this subject but again that is the world in which we live. :)

OK would you date an unemployed bloke?

[Benjamin]

You're probably right Zips

I'd told BigBrotherFan4Ever about how I work for a Council who think they have disabled access - the disabilities main Officer is a wheelchair user and made us try one day using wheelchairs - Chief Exec was shocked.

My point was that people are still people - when LemonJam is unemployed, I WILL do the nasty question about dating an unemployed.

That question has been asked on here before. It's not a nasty question. It's like someone asking if gay men should be allowed to adopt or would you date a black person. Again neither are nasty questions, but people will have opinions on them.

You act as if LJ has asked this question with hatred towards people in wheel chairs, when he clearly hasn't. Now I suggest you either leave the thread (and not get the last word like you feel the need to so often do) if it upsets you that much or leave LJ alone when he hasn't done anything wrong.

[cub]

It really shouldn't matter. It's the person you're dating not the chair. How would you be if the person you were going out with suddenly started using a wheelchair? Dump 'em??

[LemonJam]

when LemonJam is unemployed, I WILL do the nasty question about dating an unemployed.

Bring it on. It's a perfectly valid question that I wouldn't be offended by if people answered no.

[Stu]

I don't think he means any offence. Regardless of who is in a wheelchair and the reasons for it, some people can't see past the disability and the perceptions that come with it. Yes its mostly ignorance but it's still a genuine feeling that prevails in society.

A lot of people can't even look at somebody in a wheelchair; its like theyre invisible. I think they fear what could happen to them. Or maybe they fear they will give them a look of pity or disgust. Im very conscious of not wanting a disabled person to think Im pittying them. Thats the last thing they want.

But anyways, I think you're misreading the intentions of the thread just a little. :)
Again why does it have to be ignorance or fear? What if someone plain just feels they are entitled to have a healthy relationship with someone who can walk, run jump around in the park etc like they can?

I know that sounds absoloutely awful but christ. I'd rather go out with a girl who can offer more and do all the things I do both in the physical sense as well as the emotional sense. That's me being honest. We should all be entitled to that much, no?

I'm not ignorant or fearful or people in wheelchairs I just ... wouldn't go out with them.

These responses astound me. Some of you are living in a complete fantasy world. By all means speak for yourselves but don't speak for everyone else.

I'm sure the answers would be very different if we were talking about someone with a heavy physical deformity.

'It's all about the person. You're just ignorant' :rolleyes:.

[midlandman]

if they make you happy then yes

[Shaun]

At least you managed not to break the swear filter with your well-argued post. Thanks for the contribution

Was it journalist you wanted in your career ambition??? I can see lots of potential there

Was it a bottle of tequila you wanted in your life ambition? I can see you're halfway there. Keep going :thumbs:

[hannah.]

Honestly I don't think I could. I'm too selfish a lot of the time and I'm hard work, so I wouldn't make their lives any easier.

this.

[hannah.]

and the whole 'I met someone once and they were...' argument is incredibly valid. it's just a case of basic association. it's just like saying there was someone in your primary school who was horrible to you and now you take an instant dislike to anyone with their name (in my case its Kirsty). to make that an entirely trivial thing in comparison to people's experience of certain disabilities is just implying that by having a disability someone should be treated 'DIFFERENTLY'. which is what you're all arguing against. double standards <3

[Suze]

This thread is a bit of an eye opener, as some of the posts suprise me. I honestly cannot see a problem with dating someone who is wheelchair bound or even with other disabilities. It just would not faze me in the least if I loved them. We would just cope with what ever obstacles we might have to face, as they happened, same as a lot of people do in everyday life in all sorts of situations anyway. I suppose though it is individual choice and at least they are honest replies in the thread even if I can't understand where some are coming from. Each to their own and all that, it is after all their choice.

[Claymores]

Was it a bottle of tequila you wanted in your life ambition? I can see you're halfway there. Keep going :thumbs:

Sun? Star? the nowhere Post? The dole queue?

[hannah.]

this thread is annoying me. people are so over sensetive about ****. if I was to say I don't find asian men attractive does that make me racist?

[hannah.]

actually not over sensitive; overly cautious

[GypsyGoth]

this thread is annoying me. people are so over sensetive about ****. if I was to say I don't find asian men attractive does that make me racist?

Is it because they have small willys?

[hannah.]

yes. and I heard people in wheelchairs have wheels instead of balls. don't think I could cope with that. tire marks?!

[midlandman]

i was with a wheeelchair user for 8 years best time of my life

[joeysteele]

This thread is a bit of an eye opener, as some of the posts suprise me. I honestly cannot see a problem with dating someone who is wheelchair bound or even with other disabilities. It just would not faze me in the least if I loved them. We would just cope with what ever obstacles we might have to face, as they happened, same as a lot of people do in everyday life in all sorts of situations anyway. I suppose though it is individual choice and at least they are honest replies in the thread even if I can't understand where some are coming from. Each to their own and all that, it is after all their choice.

Good comment,I would have no hesitation in dating someone in a wheelchair,I have friends who are,2 through horrific accidents that left them partially paralysed.One I am very close to and his girfriend has stayed with him and they are one of the happiest couples I have seen (getting married later this year too),many people just don't realise they are 'still' people in those chairs with feelings and hopes and dreams just like the rest of us.

I can understand the people who wouldn't know how to cope with that though, I know people for instance who have massive aversions to visting in Hospital and who have never visited a friend or relative in Hospital, it doesn't mean they don't have feelings or care for them.
Some people I guess would have similar aversions to the disabled and particularly who were wheelchair bound.

The only people I take any exception to would be those who reject wheelchair users because of their own image,they don't want their image to be seen to be brought down in any way so would reject wheelchair bound people,not wanting to be seen with or associated maybe even with them.

This thread has been very enlightening,in good and sad ways as you point out Suze.

[Captain.Remy]

Honestly no. I don't think I would be able to look past it.

+1

I'm not into charity.

[arista]

this thread is annoying me. people are so over sensetive about ****. if I was to say I don't find asian men attractive does that make me racist?


No.

[joeysteele]

+1

I'm not into charity.

You are entitled to your view obviously but its rather insulting to bring in the word Charity.

Most wheelchair bound individuals are far from being Charity cases and also would hate to be thought as one too.They also likely do a great lot more 'for' Charites than they would ever get from them.

[cub]

Can I ask those who said they would not consider a relationship with a wheelchair-user this question ...

If the person you fell in love with had an accident which left them in a wheelchair, would you end that relationship?

[joeysteele]

Can I ask those who said they would not consider a relationship with a wheelchair-user this question ...

If the person you fell in love with had an accident which left them in a wheelchair, would you end that relationship?

Well said and a superb question.

[MTVN]

Can I ask those who said they would not consider a relationship with a wheelchair-user this question ...

If the person you fell in love with had an accident which left them in a wheelchair, would you end that relationship?

That's different, the question says would you date one & you'd only really tend to look to date people who are your type. A wheelchair user just isnt my type & not someone I'd look to go out with, just as I wouldnt go out with a midget, someone deformed or just someone who I found really unattractive.

[Benjamin]

Can I ask those who said they would not consider a relationship with a wheelchair-user this question ...

If the person you fell in love with had an accident which left them in a wheelchair, would you end that relationship?

That's different because you already are with that person beforehand. Dating someone is different from already being in a relationship.


Also, I don't see why myself and people who share the same opinion as me have to justify why we wouldn't. We all have our own preferences, it's not nasty and we are not being rude about it, but it is how we feel.

[Zippy]

...and we are not being rude about it...

some clearly are

[Captain.Remy]

Can I ask those who said they would not consider a relationship with a wheelchair-user this question ...

If the person you fell in love with had an accident which left them in a wheelchair, would you end that relationship?

Probably not because I knew this person before and if I love this person very much, we will get through it.
But, I'm very uncomfortable around poor/disabled/sad people because I can't deal with this. I'm not Mother Theresa, I don't give to charity or anything. It's not in my nature to help people.

So I guess I'll stay with this person until I can't deal with it any longer because it will put in danger my mental safety. I know it's cruel but that's the way it is.

[Pyramid*]

You know, this is a very hard one to answer. It very much depends on many things - the nature of the reason for the person being wheelchair bound, the nature of the relationship (whether before, during or after meeting), the needs of each of the two persons involved.

OVERALL.... I'd be leaning to say no. I have my own personal reasons for that (not least that I have a lung condition and would be restricted in aiding them physically). That to me,would be a huge consideration. It would very much depend on how 'mobile / independant ' the wheelchair bound person was as I work full time, have to work full time and have not the energy or time to them come home from a very highly pressurised job to be a carer.

Outside of that : we never know who we fall in love with - or why. Love can see past boundaries that we all 'perceived' previously to be impossible.

I do think it's one of those situations that you can 'think' you may react in one way: yet when it actually presents itself: we may react in the very opposite way, for reason we may not even ever thought to consider.

[cub]

Some very revealing responses here.

That's different, the question says would you date one & you'd only really tend to look to date people who are your type. A wheelchair user just isnt my type & not someone I'd look to go out with, just as I wouldnt go out with a midget, someone deformed or just someone who I found really unattractive.

Yes, I know the question is different. However it is related because it's about disability.

Interesting that you have compared wheelchair-user with the words midget, deformed and unattractive. As for a wheelchair-user not being your 'type'. Well, you would have be be kinky to be turned on by a person in a wheelchair.

This is about seeing beyond the wheelchair.

I'm very uncomfortable around poor/disabled/sad people because I can't deal with this. I'm not Mother Theresa, I don't give to charity or anything. It's not in my nature to help people.



That is so sad to read. I hope your attitude will change as you grow older. Just imagine if something should happen to you and you encountered someone with that opinion.


Outside of that : we never know who we fall in love with - or why. Love can see past boundaries that we all 'perceived' previously to be impossible.

I do think it's one of those situations that you can 'think' you may react in one way: yet when it actually presents itself: we may react in the very opposite way, for reason we may not even ever thought to consider.

That's a sensible and good answer. I think so too.

[MTVN]

Yes, I know the question is different. However it is related because it's about disability.

Interesting that you have compared wheelchair-user with the words midget, deformed and unattractive. As for a wheelchair-user not being your 'type'. Well, you would have be be kinky to be turned on by a person in a wheelchair.

This is about seeing beyond the wheelchair.


You missed the point, when deciding who you're gonna date physical attraction plays a big part, hence why I compared it to other factors which might influence your perception of them. Of course, you can be attractive and be in a wheelchair, but if I was looking for a date I'd prefer it if they werent confined to a chair. I also mentioned having a deformity or being a midget because surely your "seeing beyond the wheelchair" applies to them as well. Would you date someone with a facial deformity? Surely it's about seeing beyond that, no?

When you're actually in love with someone the personality factor overrides the physical to a far greater extent, you cant compare being it with just dating someone

[Marc]

Depends if they are capable of looking after themselves. I don't know if I could take on the responsibility of caring for. Though I wouldn't know until I ever fell in love with somebody in a wheelchair!

[cub]

You missed the point, when deciding who you're gonna date physical attraction plays a big part, hence why I compared it to other factors which might influence your perception of them. Of course, you can be attractive and be in a wheelchair, but if I was looking for a date it would be with someone I'd prefer it if they werent confined to a chair. I also mentioned having a deformity or being a midget because surely your "seeing beyond the wheelchair" applies to them as well. Would you date someone with a facial deformity? Surely it's about seeing beyond that, no?

Physical attraction is important but I don't think a deformity is comparable to being in a wheelchair. I think it's you that's missing the point. A facial deformity is not going to attract most people. But a wheelchair is just an aid to someone mobility.

Why compare midgets and facial deformities to wheelchair users? It's a different issue. A closer comparison would be would you go out with a blind person or a deaf person?

Imagine seeing someone really hot in a bar and then that person leaving the bar in a wheelchair. Or, as a comparison, leaving the bar with a white cane.

Look at this clip of the Golden Girls (from 3.30 to 6.10)

5B-wgfkfrDY

[Stu]

I can't believe someone is posting a clip of ****ing Golden Girls to illustrate a point.

[Marc]

I can't believe someone is posting a clip of ****ing Golden Girls to illustrate a point.


:joker:

[MTVN]

Physical attraction is important but I don't think a deformity is comparable to being in a wheelchair. I think it's you that's missing the point. A facial deformity is not going to attract most people. But a wheelchair is just an aid to someone mobility.

Why compare midgets and facial deformities to wheelchair users? It's a different issue. A closer comparison would be would you go out with a blind person or a deaf person?

Imagine seeing someone really hot in a bar and then that person leaving the bar in a wheelchair. Or, as a comparison, leaving the bar with a white cane.

Look at this clip of the Golden Girls (from 3.30 to 6.10)

5B-wgfkfrDY

The principles the same, if you're going to criticise people and preach the principle of "it's the person, not the chair" then that has to apply all the time, you cant mitigate it & then suddenly ignore it because you think being a midget is more of a turn off than being in a chair. If you're going to apply that principle than at least be consistent, otherwise you're just showing double standards

I would consider myself pretty active, I play a fair bit of sport & enjoying going walks and stuff, it's not that unreasonable to prefer going out with someone who is capable of doing those things with you, having a wheelchair is a big burden. And I wouldnt go out with someone who is blind or deaf either, it would be too difficult.

[cub]

The principles the same, if you're going to criticise people and preach the principle of "it's the person, not the chair" then that has to apply all the time, you cant mitigate it & then suddenly ignore it because you think being a midget is more of a turn off than being in a chair. If you're going to apply that principle than at least be consistent, otherwise you're just showing double standards.

I am being consistant. You cannot compare a midget and a deformity with a person is a wheelchair. One size doesn't fit all in this case.

I probably wouldn't be sexually attracted to a midget or a deformed person because of basic aethetic reasons. But a person in a wheelchair is different. If they were sitting on a bar stool you wouldn't know the difference until they moved away from the bar - same with a blind person, hense the example of a clip.

Sorry, if the clip caused amusement. It was the only one I could think of. Although I was amused by the reaction.

[Stu]

I probably wouldn't be sexually attracted to a midget or a deformed person because of basic aethetic reasons. But a person in a wheelchair is different.
For you.

[cub]

Image the character of Chris Tate or Jackson in Emmerdale as another example.

[cub]

For you.

Why for me?

[Stu]

I'm just saying that is your opinion. And probably the opinion of millions of others, sure, but everyone has a different sense of aesthetic, y'know. I can see where you are coming from but you are only speaking from your own standpoint at the end of the day.

I'm sure there's someone out there who would hop into bed with a walking midget faster than they would a non walking non midget. You can't just draw these easy conclusions about the way people see and feel about things.

[cub]

Again, you are comparing a midget with a wheelchair-user.

I am suggesting a person you would be attracted to but the only concession is a wheelchair.

Like everyone else, I don't know how to express an opinion other than my own.

[Zippy]

Midgets are damn hot

just saying

[Stu]

Again, you are comparing a midget with a wheelchair-user.

I am suggesting a person you would be attracted to but the only concession is a wheelchair.

Like everyone else, I don't know how to express an opinion other than my own.
I'm only using midgets as an example because you mentioned them in your post. You wouldn't be sexually attracted to a midget. Some people aren't sexually to people in wheelchairs. It doesn't matter if you think they look fine they just happen to be in a wheelchair. That's your sense of aesthetic. Other people will see things differently. I'm all for voicing your opinion but your posts make it sound like you are utterly aghast at the concept that people can't all see things your way and you really can't seem to accept that the inclusion of a wheelchair would prevent someone from making a move on the girl/boy whatever.

It's not just limited to aesthetic either. Sorry but when I think of a relationship with a woman I think of holding hands, having a walk in the park, a cheeky roll around in the grass, those sorts of things. That's what I want and I wouldn't settle for anything less.

Sounds harsh but c'est la vie. There's plenty of fish in the sea for wheelchair users to hook up with. Likewise there's plenty of fish in the sea for me and I want to pick one of the ones that can swim.

[MTVN]

I am being consistant. You cannot compare a midget and a deformity with a person is a wheelchair. One size doesn't fit all in this case.

I probably wouldn't be sexually attracted to a midget or a deformed person because of basic aethetic reasons. But a person in a wheelchair is different. If they were sitting on a bar stool you wouldn't know the difference until they moved away from the bar - same with a blind person, hense the example of a clip.

Sorry, if the clip caused amusement. It was the only one I could think of. Although I was amused by the reaction.

They're all physical things though, which might mitigate against someone's desirability. So are you now saying that it's not all "about the person" as you were saying earlier? Seems it. And like Stu pointed out, attractiveness is all subjective in any case.

A wheelchair is a big hindrance, more so than you seem to want to admit. Why didnt you quote the second part of my post? A lot of things I'd like to do with someone I'm going out with I couldnt do with a girl in a wheelchair and consequently.. I'd rather not date one. It's as simple as that really and I dont know why you're getting so sanctimonious about it.

[Vicky.]

If I fancied him, yeah I would think so.

Hard to say without being in the situation though really

[cub]

They're all physical things though, which might mitigate against someone's desirability. So are you now saying that it's not all "about the person" as you were saying earlier? Seems it. And like Stu pointed out, attractiveness is all subjective in any case.

A wheelchair is a big hindrance, more so than you seem to want to admit. Why didnt you quote the second part of my post? A lot of things I'd like to do with someone I'm going out with I couldnt do with a girl in a wheelchair and consequently.. I'd rather not date one. It's as simple as that really and I dont know why you're getting so sanctimonious about it.

Of course a wheelchair is a hindrance. For the user and the person with the user. Sadly the user can't walk away or have a break.

I probably didn't quote the second part of your post because I didn't disagree with it, whatever it was.

I'm saying you have to see beyond the wheelchair. An attractive person is an attractive person, wheelchair or not. It's quite different from a deformation, which is why I won't compare them. You may want to because it strengthens your argument. I've mention 'the person on the bar stool' three times now and no one has challenged it.

You're suggesting a person is unattractive in a wheelchair?

Why am I getting sanctimoniuos? I'm exercising a point of view, that's all.

I'm not saying you should date a wheelchair-user. I'm only discussing why one wouldn't. It's a topic that interests me.

Why be so offended by my opinion? I didn't start the thread.

[cub]

I'm only using midgets as an example because you mentioned them in your post. You wouldn't be sexually attracted to a midget. Some people aren't sexually to people in wheelchairs. It doesn't matter if you think they look fine they just happen to be in a wheelchair. That's your sense of aesthetic. Other people will see things differently. I'm all for voicing your opinion but your posts make it sound like you are utterly aghast at the concept that people can't all see things your way and you really can't seem to accept that the inclusion of a wheelchair would prevent someone from making a move on the girl/boy whatever.

Not aghast at all. I find this debate interesting, but there is some ignorance around disabilities. I've no axe to grind. Surely if someone is attractive they are still attractive in a wheelchair. Only prejudice gets in the way of that? 'The way it looks'.


It's not just limited to aesthetic either. Sorry but when I think of a relationship with a woman I think of holding hands, having a walk in the park, a cheeky roll around in the grass, those sorts of things. That's what I want and I wouldn't settle for anything less.

You can do all that with a disabled as well as an able bodied woman.


Sounds harsh but c'est la vie. There's plenty of fish in the sea for wheelchair users to hook up with. Likewise there's plenty of fish in the sea for me and I want to pick one of the ones that can swim.

Because - obviously - if a person is in a wheelchair they can't possibly swim. All wheelchair-users are the same of course...

[Captain.Remy]

That is so sad to read. I hope your attitude will change as you grow older. Just imagine if something should happen to you and you encountered someone with that opinion.

Sad? Why? Because I've got the balls to say I'm not attracted to this? That I don't want this kind of drama in my life?
Trust me, I've done some crazy **** in my life but this, dating a disabled person, is out of question. It's not happening. Too much drama, too much caring.

And what about daily life? Nah it's too complicated to deal with. Hospitals and stuff are made for these people.

[King Gizzard]

I wouldn't actively go out and find a person in a wheelchair, no. But if the person I was with had an accident and was wheelchair bound then I'd still go out with them for sure

Wouldn't judge anyone who wouldn't really.

[cub]

Sad? Why? Because I've got the balls to say I'm not attracted to this? That I don't want this kind of drama in my life?
Trust me, I've done some crazy **** in my life but this, dating a disabled person, is out of question. It's not happening. Too much drama, too much caring.

And what about daily life? Nah it's too complicated to deal with. Hospitals and stuff are made for these people.

Sad only because you said this ...

I don't give to charity or anything. It's not in my nature to help people.