Do You Ever Wonder?

[Benjamin]

This is for those that only have one parent/no living parents, but do you ever wonder what your life would be like if they hadn't have passed away?


I sometimes wish my father was here, and what my life would have been like if he was still around. Would he be proud of me, would I be the same person.


The only thing I do know is that I would have moved to Australia just before he passed away, he got a job there. So I imagine I would be completely different.

[Locke.]

I think mine would probably still be the same, but then again its only been just over 1 year.

[Benjamin]

I think mine would probably still be the same, but then again its only been just over 1 year.

Oh, sorry to hear that matey. I lost my father when I was 4, so in some ways I never had to deal with the complete heart breaking pain, but then I never got as many memories. I suppose there is never a good time to lose a parent.

You seem to be holding up well though. :)

[Zippy]

Never had a Father, never missed having one.

My Mother died a few months ago and that was really hard. My life was already on its own path so it won't affect it other than me not having her there as a comfort and safety net. But my character was shaped already. She did her job.

[Benjamin]

Never had a Father, never missed having one.

My Mother died a few months ago and that was really hard. My life was already on its own path so it won't affect it other than me not having her there as a comfort and safety net. But my character was shaped already. She did her job.

That is a really nice sentiment to have. :)

[GypsyGoth]

Maybe I'd be more confident with the world and I know I'd have been happier over the last few years.

Also getting to know him as a person would change me I think, all I have is stories from other family members.

And I would have traveled more.

[Patrick]

My Dad is alive, I just never see him.

But yeah, I would probably not have as many feminine traits and I would probably be a chav and would never of joined TiBB or got into Big Brother, oh my god.

I have some feminine traits because I was raised by 2 Woman, no my Mum isn't a lesbian - I mean her and my Aunt; so for years I was missing a father figure.

I'd be a chav because I wouldn't of moved house so I'd of stayed in the same crazy area all my life.
I may of been happier though, because I wouldn't of been alone and got depressed and eventually went slightly insane on my own.

I wouldn't of joined TiBB because I would be out drinking every night and wouldn't know how to work a computer - and I wouldn't of liked BB, because I first watched BB in 2002 when I was in a hostel after my Dad and Mum broke up.



So yeah - Jesus, Butterfly Effect much?

My Dad's came pretty close to death loads of times though.
He's tried to kill himself - whilst I was in the house rofl; He's been shot, Ran over and most recently stabbed.


But if he did die - I probably wouldn't be that concerned. [Feels mean].

[Benjamin]

My Dad is alive, I just never see him.

But yeah, I would probably not have as many feminine traits and I would probably be a chav and would never of joined TiBB or got into Big Brother, oh my god.

I have some feminine traits because I was raised by 2 Woman, no my Mum isn't a lesbian - I mean her and my Aunt; so for years I was missing a father figure.

I'd be a chav because I wouldn't of moved house so I'd of stayed in the same crazy area all my life.
I may of been happier though, because I wouldn't of been alone and got depressed and eventually went slightly insane on my own.

I wouldn't of joined TiBB because I would be out drinking every night and wouldn't know how to work a computer - and I wouldn't of liked BB, because I first watched BB in 2002 when I was in a hostel after my Dad and Mum broke up.



So yeah - Jesus, Butterfly Effect much?

My Dad's came pretty close to death loads of times though.
He's tried to kill himself - whilst I was in the house rofl; He's been shot, Ran over and most recently stabbed.


But if he did die - I probably wouldn't be that concerned. [Feels mean].


I grew up with my mother and two sisters. I like my feminine traits, as I see them as extra skills that help me adapt and interact with a wider variety of people.

But you should not say that about your father, you only get one lot of parents. When they are gone, they are gone for good.

[Kerry]

Not a clue but know VERY different. I lived in a "well to do" area. Was set for the finest schools money could buy. All that bollocks. Mam died, Dad pissed it up the wall. I got to live with the best Nan ever on a council estate (after being moved from pillar to post) and, well voila :laugh: A working class Sheffield lass and proud as punch :D

I'd have loved to have known my Mam better but I don't know of anything else :)

[Zippy]

Only Patrick could squeeze a rofl into a sentence about his dad trying to kill himself!

[Niall]

This thread sorta applies to me. Both of my parents are still alive and I regularly see both of them its just my Mum has always lived abroad since I was 5. I've always wondered what my life would've been like had my parents actually stayed together. I missed my Mum so much sometimes, 'cause no matter how hard my Dad can try, he can't really supplement her whilst she's not here.

If my parents were still together I guess I'd be a little less shy and I probably wouldn't have had separation anxiety when I was younger. Everytime I had to go to the airport I knew I'd have to leave one parent behind for another and I'd always be in floods of tears and I'd literally do anything to avoid going to the airport. I hated the idea of leaving one parent to see the other. Whenever I'd be with my Mum the first full day I'd be with her, it'd take me that full day to adjust and lose the feelings of sadness I'd feel from leaving Dad. The same thing would happen at home (only with the parents reversed) and it'd usually take me longer to recover.

So I'd probably be a more confident and outgoing person which means I'd probably have never discovered this wonderful website and you guys and probs be some chavvy mong who just cares about getting ****faced every weekend. :/

[Patrick]

I grew up with my mother and two sisters. I like my feminine traits, as I see them as extra skills that help me adapt and interact with a wider variety of people.

But you should not say that about your father, you only get one lot of parents. When they are gone, they are gone for good.

Same; It's like they get you made fun of in school and that - but I suppose you're right they help you in life.

So it's all good.

I know I shouldn't, I want to like him and that - but over the years he's ******ed up too many times and it's like if he died, It wouldn't effect me as much as it should do, which is a shame.

[Redway]

Out of control...

[Redway]

This is for those that only have one parent/no living parents, but do you ever wonder what your life would be like if they hadn't have passed away?


I sometimes wish my father was here, and what my life would have been like if he was still around. Would he be proud of me, would I be the same person.


The only thing I do know is that I would have moved to Australia just before he passed away, he got a job there. So I imagine I would be completely different.

I'm really sorry to hear about that. :)

[Beso]

I couldn't imagine my life without them to be honest. god knows how you all survived, but my hats off to you all.

[Lee.]

I actually think (well know really) that if my dad had been around, my life wouldn't have been as good as it has been.

[Crimson Dynamo]

All fathers love their sons

never forget that

[Lee.]

And yes Ben, I think he would have been very proud of you. :)

[Jessica.]

My Father died when I was 3, I think my life would be so different if he hadn't died, I don't think I would be as messed up tbh. :S I'm not sure though.

[CharlieO]

I know I don't fit in to this category because my parents aren't dead but I no longer live with my father.

My dad never made an effort with me and made it very verbally clear that I was not the son he wanted, he travelled for work a lot and I hardly ever saw him as a child. So in teenage years we never really spoke other than hello.

He has always been really angry and not able to control his temper but it never seemed to be a problem until recently.

In april 2010 he got angry at me because I said f off to him. He then broke my arm. He had gone into this mode where he was almost possessed. It scared me so much and I could no longer live with him so my mum agreed to make him move out.

I know if I had had a father who cared I would be so different. My story is clearly very selfish compared to those who have lost family members but being abused by a parent isnt just physical pain. It has mucked me up so much. Everytime I hear his voice I cant help but cry and shake with fear. My mum understands how it has affected me but he doesnt. He used to come to the house pretty much when ever he wants and laughed at me and called me a panzy.

Then in october I was home alone and he came round and threatened me. He basically said about how I had ****ed up his marriage and how unless I gave up this 'act' he would hurt me even more. I thought he was bluffing and tried to get away. Then he threw a knife and me and it went deep in my leg. I have a massive scar from it.

After that my mum wouldn't let him come to the house but she always sees him and so do my two sisters and they act like its all my fault most of the time so yea.
I actually wish I had a father figure because I also have several feminine traits that i get bullied at school because of and I wish I had a dad that would actually be there for me and care.

[Lee.]

Jesus Charlie! :hug:

[Niamh.]

OMG Charlie, that's horrific. I'm sure your sisters don't really think it's your fault and if they do then they are very wrong

[Ammi]

Oh, sorry to hear that matey. I lost my father [/B[B]]when I was 4, so in some ways I never had to deal with the complete heart breaking pain, but then I never got as many memories. I suppose there is never a good time to lose a parent.

You seem to be holding up well though. :)

I lost my father when I was a lot older. He was an amazing person and I felt that I not only lost a loved one, but I lost my inspiration in life as well. I know he would be proud of me because I am what he inspired me to be. I miss being able to tell him lots of things but I know he did everything he needed to do so I try not to be too sad.

[Ammi]

I know I don't fit in to this category because my parents aren't dead but I no longer live with my father.

My dad never made an effort with me and made it very verbally clear that I was not the son he wanted, he travelled for work a lot and I hardly ever saw him as a child. So in teenage years we never really spoke other than hello.

He has always been really angry and not able to control his temper but it never seemed to be a problem until recently.

In april 2010 he got angry at me because I said f off to him. He then broke my arm. He had gone into this mode where he was almost possessed. It scared me so much and I could no longer live with him so my mum agreed to make him move out.

I know if I had had a father who cared I would be so different. My story is clearly very selfish compared to those who have lost family members but being abused by a parent isnt just physical pain. It has mucked me up so much. Everytime I hear his voice I cant help but cry and shake with fear. My mum understands how it has affected me but he doesnt. He used to come to the house pretty much when ever he wants and laughed at me and called me a panzy.

Then in october I was home alone and he came round and threatened me. He basically said about how I had ****ed up his marriage and how unless I gave up this 'act' he would hurt me even more. I thought he was bluffing and tried to get away. Then he threw a knife and me and it went deep in my leg. I have a massive scar from it.

After that my mum wouldn't let him come to the house but she always sees him and so do my two sisters and they act like its all my fault most of the time so yea.
I actually wish I had a father figure because I also have several feminine traits that i get bullied at school because of and I wish I had a dad that would actually be there for me and care.


:hug: don't feel any of that is your fault

[CharlieO]

Jesus Charlie! :hug:

OMG Charlie, that's horrific. I'm sure your sisters don't really think it's your fault and if they do then they are very wrong

Thanks guys.

No they don't think its entirely my fault but they don't seem to understand how I couldn't live with him and think I was just being ridiculous.

But due to it I have gone quite crazy. Im better now, but the last year did consist of some dark times. I wont go into details as I don't want to seem as if I'm fishing for sympathy. I just got major depression from home life and then being bullied at school.

But in the long run it will make me stronger, already has to an extent.

[Niamh.]

Thanks guys.

No they don't think its entirely my fault but they don't seem to understand how I couldn't live with him and think I was just being ridiculous.

But due to it I have gone quite crazy. Im better now, but the last year did consist of some dark times. I wont go into details as I don't want to seem as if I'm fishing for sympathy. I just got major depression from home life and then being bullied at school.

But in the long run it will make me stronger, already has to an extent.

He broke your arm and threw a knife at you and they don't understand how you can't live with him? that's ludicrous.

You have a really good attitude though Charlie, I admire you for that:hug:

[Redway]

Both of my parents are alive and well but I'm really saddened to hear sad stories of domestic abuse and death on here. Take care - remember it's not your fault. Insightful thread :)

[CharlieO]

He broke your arm and threw a knife at you and they don't understand how you can't live with him? that's ludicrous.

You have a really good attitude though Charlie, I admire you for that:hug:

Thanks Niamh, took along time to get this attitude but I'm better off for it.
They know he broke my arm but my mum did not want them knowing he threw a knife at me so I am not allowed to tell them because she doesn't want them to stop talking to him as well.

[Shaun]

I was never particularly close with my father but I think we were very similar people. My mum and the rest of my family tend to be very hotheaded and argumentative, whereas my dad would just bottle things up and make light of situations which I always found a little bit reassuring in a house full of bitterness.

My parents were separated before he died, but he lived in the same town so we still saw him pretty much every day. I miss him a stupid amount, more than I like to let on really, even if it's silly childhood experiences like him taking us (my brother & sister) swimming every Saturday, or to the beach, etc.

At the same time he wasn't perfect - he had a bad alcohol & smoking problem (that led to his death) and when my parents were together he would often get drunk and abusive. I have a horrible memory of him actually throwing my mother across the room and threatening my older brother (not his son) with a knife... thankfully nothing terrible happened but that was the end of the marriage basically. Of course I forgave him for that since my mum can be a total bitch at times :laugh: and I guess I just love(d) them both unconditionally. My heart goes out to anyone whose parents are going through separation, it's probably the worst experience a child can have.

In short LOL I'm not sure my life would be that different. I guess I'd obviously be less upset but...yeah

[Doogle]

I never knew my father until I contacted him on Facebook recently and discovered he was still alive and well.

However if my mum lived with him in Turkey while she was pregnant and didn't come back to England, I'd be living in Turkey, raised as a Muslim,, so my life would be very different if I did have my mum and dad.

I live with my Mum and my Auntie, who kindly let us stay here when we moved from London, and I never had that father figure in my life. I'd probably be a lot different. Plus my mum only ever had 1 or 2 male friends, but they'd spoil me rotten, teach me magic, and let me watch the naked girls on Big Brother when I was about 6. :laugh:

[Pyramid*]

I know I don't fit in to this category because my parents aren't dead but I no longer live with my father.

My dad never made an effort with me and made it very verbally clear that I was not the son he wanted, he travelled for work a lot and I hardly ever saw him as a child. So in teenage years we never really spoke other than hello.

He has always been really angry and not able to control his temper but it never seemed to be a problem until recently.

In april 2010 he got angry at me because I said f off to him. He then broke my arm. He had gone into this mode where he was almost possessed. It scared me so much and I could no longer live with him so my mum agreed to make him move out.

I know if I had had a father who cared I would be so different. My story is clearly very selfish compared to those who have lost family members but being abused by a parent isnt just physical pain. It has mucked me up so much. Everytime I hear his voice I cant help but cry and shake with fear. My mum understands how it has affected me but he doesnt. He used to come to the house pretty much when ever he wants and laughed at me and called me a panzy.

Then in october I was home alone and he came round and threatened me. He basically said about how I had ****ed up his marriage and how unless I gave up this 'act' he would hurt me even more. I thought he was bluffing and tried to get away. Then he threw a knife and me and it went deep in my leg. I have a massive scar from it.

After that my mum wouldn't let him come to the house but she always sees him and so do my two sisters and they act like its all my fault most of the time so yea.
I actually wish I had a father figure because I also have several feminine traits that i get bullied at school because of and I wish I had a dad that would actually be there for me and care.

God Charlie. Massive :hug:

All I can try to say to you is that you really should try your very best to embrace your up and coming move to boarding school, and use that as a wonderful opportunity - where you can grow, and be in an environment that will make you a stronger and better person - an opportunity for you to shine, find your place, your confidence will hopefully grow too, and you be your very own individual young man.

[Niall]

I know I don't fit in to this category because my parents aren't dead but I no longer live with my father.

My dad never made an effort with me and made it very verbally clear that I was not the son he wanted, he travelled for work a lot and I hardly ever saw him as a child. So in teenage years we never really spoke other than hello.

He has always been really angry and not able to control his temper but it never seemed to be a problem until recently.

In april 2010 he got angry at me because I said f off to him. He then broke my arm. He had gone into this mode where he was almost possessed. It scared me so much and I could no longer live with him so my mum agreed to make him move out.

I know if I had had a father who cared I would be so different. My story is clearly very selfish compared to those who have lost family members but being abused by a parent isnt just physical pain. It has mucked me up so much. Everytime I hear his voice I cant help but cry and shake with fear. My mum understands how it has affected me but he doesnt. He used to come to the house pretty much when ever he wants and laughed at me and called me a panzy.

Then in october I was home alone and he came round and threatened me. He basically said about how I had ****ed up his marriage and how unless I gave up this 'act' he would hurt me even more. I thought he was bluffing and tried to get away. Then he threw a knife and me and it went deep in my leg. I have a massive scar from it.

After that my mum wouldn't let him come to the house but she always sees him and so do my two sisters and they act like its all my fault most of the time so yea.
I actually wish I had a father figure because I also have several feminine traits that i get bullied at school because of and I wish I had a dad that would actually be there for me and care.

Thanks guys.

No they don't think its entirely my fault but they don't seem to understand how I couldn't live with him and think I was just being ridiculous.

But due to it I have gone quite crazy. Im better now, but the last year did consist of some dark times. I wont go into details as I don't want to seem as if I'm fishing for sympathy. I just got major depression from home life and then being bullied at school.

But in the long run it will make me stronger, already has to an extent.

Jesus Christ Charlie that absolutely awful! :'( :hug:

About the sisters thing, I wouldn't be able to take that if my Mum said I couldn't tell them. I'd probably explode. :sad:

[Vicky.]

My life would have been a total mess now if I hadnt had my dad around growing up. He got me out of a really bad patch in my life between the ages of about 15-17. I probably would have been in prison or something now if it wasnt for him.

[CharlieO]

Jesus Christ Charlie that absolutely awful! :'( :hug:

About the sisters thing, I wouldn't be able to take that if my Mum said I couldn't tell them. I'd probably explode. :sad:

God Charlie. Massive :hug:

All I can try to say to you is that you really should try your very best to embrace your up and coming move to boarding school, and use that as a wonderful opportunity - where you can grow, and be in an environment that will make you a stronger and better person - an opportunity for you to shine, find your place, your confidence will hopefully grow too, and you be your very own individual young man.

Thanks Pyramid and Niall but I guess its just life for me and I deal with it the best I can, there isn't any point fretting over it anymore it will just make things harder. But thanks for the kind words. :hug: