Why do people self harm?

[InOne]

Cry for help?
Attention seeking?
Get a rush from it?


What do you think?

[Vicky.]

Its actually quite odd. I used to do it but never knew a solid reason why. Just did it one day when I felt down then kept doing it. I liked the feeling of the pain and the sight of the blood...kinda became a way of dealing with stress :/

[Ramsay]

if something is digging them up inside then its a way to forget about it and just think about the pain
thats what i think ..anyway
and the attention seeking ones should just be shot

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

i did it because i thought i was bad inside, and when i cut and the blood came out the badness came with it

that was when i was mental though im normal now

[Kerry]

Knew someone who did it. The only explanation she could give me was it was a 'release'. I can only imagine it gives them something else to focus on? Something else that is pain and not the pain in their head?

[Patrick]

My therapist asked me this on Friday.

It helps release stress and frustration, I wouldn't say attention - only those dicks that do it to seem 'Emo' even though cutting your wrist, is not Emo - or those ones that do it and walk outside into a party and fall to the ground like they've been stabbed.

Attention seeking bastards.

I went from June 2009 up to August last year without anyone really noticing I self harmed, so no I wouldn't say it's for attention.

Some people most definitely do it for attention though.

It just releases stress and frustration IMO.

[Jords]

1. Attempt to kill theirself
2. The pain helps overcome other 'pain'
3. Thrill of blood/Excites them (opposite of sadist forgot the term)
4. Attention

[Patrick]

-Is waiting for someone to write 'for the lulz of course x'-

[Boothy]

Not had much experience with it, but the only girl I know did it for attention.

It was at school and she told her mate she wanted to die and went to an empty classroom to strangle herself with her tie. She told her mate that if she passed out to keep strangling her until she was dead. Her mate actually did, but somebody found her before she died and phoned an ambulance, then the police came and took the friend away. The girl didn't die but got bullied massively afterwards and I don't know what happened to her friend.

I think the girl who wanted to kill herself did it for attention and didn't actually expect her friend to keep strangling her.

[GypsyGoth]

Not had much experience with it, but the only girl I know did it for attention.

It was at school and she told her mate she wanted to die and went to an empty classroom to strangle herself with her tie. She told her mate that if she passed out to keep strangling her until she was dead. Her mate actually did, but somebody found her before she died and phoned an ambulance, then the police came and took the friend away. The girl didn't die but got bullied massively afterwards and I don't know what happened to her friend.

I think the girl who wanted to kill herself did it for attention and didn't actually expect her friend to keep strangling her.

:laugh2:

[Chuck]

Not had much experience with it, but the only girl I know did it for attention.

It was at school and she told her mate she wanted to die and went to an empty classroom to strangle herself with her tie. She told her mate that if she passed out to keep strangling her until she was dead. Her mate actually did, but somebody found her before she died and phoned an ambulance, then the police came and took the friend away. The girl didn't die but got bullied massively afterwards and I don't know what happened to her friend.

I think the girl who wanted to kill herself did it for attention and didn't actually expect her friend to keep strangling her.

:laugh3: :laugh3: :laugh3:

[CharlieO]

People do it because it blocks out emotional pain for a couple of seconds which can be relief if you are severely depressed but I believe most do it for attention.

[Ammi]

Maybe they hate themselves and think its what they deserve or they could just like to feel pain, never having done it, its hard to think why they would, but I think there may be some self loathing involved

[Pyramid*]

1. Attempt to kill theirself
2. The pain helps overcome other 'pain'
3. Thrill of blood/Excites them (opposite of sadist forgot the term)
4. Attention


Masochists? They enjoy inflicting pain upon themselves.


I've never quite managed to get my head around self harm: I understand the psychological reasonings why - but I've never been able to quite separate the thought that if a person would, can and does that to themselves: what would they be capable of doing to another person if they really 'snapped' -which is as irrational as self harming in the first place.

Can't be a good place to be in though for the person involved (or those around them that love them and have to see their mental suffering manifesing itself so physically).

[Ammi]

Masochists? They enjoy inflicting pain upon themselves.


I've never quite managed to get my head around self harm: I understand the psychological reasonings why - but I've never been able to quite separate the thought that if a person would, can and does that to themselves: what would they be capable of doing to another person if they really 'snapped' -which is as irrational as self harming in the first place.

Can't be a good place to be in though for the person involved (or those around them that love them and have to see their mental suffering manifesing itself so physically).

Yes its one I can't understand the psychological reasoning to, as opposed to other body punishing conditions like say anorexia, where I do understand why they do it. Maybe its because I can't stand the sight of blood so the thought of say cutting yourself is just beyond my comprehension

[joeysteele]

Knew someone who did it. The only explanation she could give me was it was a 'release'. I can only imagine it gives them something else to focus on? Something else that is pain and not the pain in their head?

I agree with this, often they themselves don't have an answer too as to why, I think it is likely a combination of what InOne listed in his original post.

I had thought people did it for attention but have learned that was an easy and general blinkered view, the answer Kerry got from the person she knew,as to it being a release is likely the strongest one,it's also likely another of those control issues whereby they decide where, when and how they do it too.

[_Seth]

It's to block out the mental pain for a while.

Not that I'd know this first hand. (Or should I say first wrist?)

[Vicky.]

It's to block out the mental pain for a while.

Not that I'd know this first hand. (Or should I say first wrist?)

First hip in my case :/

I did it places people couldnt see. Didnt want people to know about it because I knew they would find it weird or fuss about it.

[Ammi]

First hip in my case :/

I did it places people couldnt see. Didnt want people to know about it because I knew they would find it weird or fuss about it.

So that knocks the 'attention' theory out which is interesting, I don't understand it but think its very sad that people would hurt themselves

[Vicky.]

So that knocks the 'attention' theory out which is interesting, I don't understand it but think its very sad that people would hurt themselves

I dont understand it myself to be honest. But people are too quick to cry attention seeker usually. I know a few people who did it, and 9 times out of 10, it was in places people wouldnt see...stomachs/legs etc because they didnt want people knowing they did it.

The urge never really goes though. Whenever Im pissed off about something or upset, I always feel the need to do it. I have learnt not to now though, but hell, it took a long time :/

[Ammi]

I dont understand it myself to be honest. But people are too quick to cry attention seeker usually. I know a few people who did it, and 9 times out of 10, it was in places people wouldnt see...stomachs/legs etc because they didnt want people knowing they did it.

The urge never really goes though. Whenever Im pissed off about something or upset, I always feel the need to do it. I have learnt not to now though, but hell, it took a long time :/

I can understand that, I guess a lot of people have 'crutches' or strangely enough security blankets they rely on whenever things in life get start to get too tough. It could be eating habits, alcohol, drugs, gambling, whatever takes them away from reality, so I understand that the urge to self harm would stay with you, but I guess as you get older and move away from it, you can control the urge much easier.

[Pyramid*]

:laugh2:

:laugh3: :laugh3: :laugh3:

Watch The Real World: Cancun for the answer.

http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/cm/cosmopolitanuk/images/OH/or_a8cba9f3124523987726681.jpg

A Fit Firm Doctor can sort it all out.

What is it with you lot - are you unable to understand what the term SERIOUS DEBATES means.

There is one small sub-section of the forum dedicated to serious issues - and some that some posters are offering personal experiences with - but still you can't leave out the jokes and the wit - putting up this sort of crap. Aren't you content with the hundreds of other inane, banal threads to offer your 'wisdom' on.

It's rude beyond belief, it's completely disrespectful to every member who is treating the tread with the respect the topic deserved, and it the height of ignorance.


I am beginning to wonder why Tibbs HAS a Serious Debates Sub-Section at all -when this thing is continually allowed to happen.

Trying to hold any sensible conversation on here is becoming nigh impossible.

[Pyramid*]

I dont understand it myself to be honest. But people are too quick to cry attention seeker usually. I know a few people who did it, and 9 times out of 10, it was in places people wouldnt see...stomachs/legs etc because they didnt want people knowing they did it.

The urge never really goes though. Whenever Im pissed off about something or upset, I always feel the need to do it. I have learnt not to now though, but hell, it took a long time :/

Indeed. Most are ashamed to be found doing it - hence the places that is is likely to be go un-noticed, and part of the problem that the 'issue' goes on for so long before any medical/psychological intervention takes place: by which time - the road to recover is a far longer journey to travel.

As I say, I can't quite get my head around it - but one thing is for sure: it's distressing for both the self harmer and those around them when they become aware of what is happening.

[Ninastar]

The only girl I know that did it, did it for attention. In the girls changing rooms she got a razor out and was like "I HATE SCHOOL!!1" then she cut her wrist. Everyone was there so it was a bit like :/

[Pyramid*]

The only girl I know that did it, did it for attention. In the girls changing rooms she got a razor out and was like "I HATE SCHOOL!!1" then she cut her wrist. Everyone was there so it was a bit like :/

Depends on what you mean by razor...

If someone pulls out a razor - as in blade - they mean business.

If someone pulls out a safety disposable 'razor' - they have issues of some sort - attention seeking possibly / cry for help / something else going on.

Most people don't do these things for a laugh - no matter how you look at it.

[CharlieO]

Ive known someone who did it once people found out then she used it as a tool for attention.

It makes me sick when people do things like that just for sympathy and attention.

[Pyramid*]

Ive known someone who did it once people found out then she used it as a tool for attention.

It makes me sick when people do things like that just for sympathy and attention.

Would you not want to perhaps consider why they needed/wanted the attention. There could be underlying issues Charlie. There could of course be nothing more to it that a spoilt, self centred little brat who wasn't the limelight that week...... always best to consider there may be something at the root cause. (Which I am assuming, you may have determined...ie; it was the latter?)

[Ninastar]

Call me heartless or naive, but I still think that half of the time its attention seeking. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing

[Ammi]

Would you not want to perhaps consider why they needed/wanted the attention. There could be underlying issues Charlie. There could of course be nothing more to it that a spoilt, self centred little brat who wasn't the limelight that week...... always best to consider there may be something at the root cause. (Which I am assuming, you may have determined...ie; it was the latter?)

agreed, I would think there is usually underlying issues and unhappiness. At the start of this thread, I couldn't understand how people could harm themselves, then I thought omg I'm a smoker, if that isn't self harm I don't know what is!

[Pyramid*]

Excuse me but I do believe ILTRW was being deadly serious.

Are you ILTRW's spokesman Stu? I'm quite sure they are able to speak for themselves: without 'handers'. Given they made a rather vague "Watch ILTRW, Cancun' with nothing else to go on ..... it's hardly any real contribution is it. Similiar to your own 'contribution' on the thread. None as far as I can see?

agreed, I would think there is usually underlying issues and unhappiness. At the start of this thread, I couldn't understand how people could harm themselves, then I thought omg I'm a smoker, if that isn't self harm I don't know what is!

Oh I can't for the life of me pretend to understand that is the preferred course of action - but in the cases that are true to the 'illness' - there clearly is something going on - even if the person isn't able to verbalise or fully explain it themselves -as more often than not: the person knows they shouldn't do it.

I guess using smoking as an example is (for me personally) a very good one. That is a form of self harm absolutely: and many cannot understand why a smoker would want to do that. Mmm...food for thought indeed rhino.

[hannah.]

it releases stress and frustration. and it's such a cliche but it helps to see the pain in the form of cuts or whatever. it makes things easier to deal with. also I think there is a level of addiction to it; because of the endorphins released to counteract the pain.

I've done it for as long as I remember, when I was little I used to bite myself when I got frustrated. I'm trying to stop, haven't done it for almost 4 months, because I'm sick of being covered in ugly scars.

[hannah.]

oh and as far as I'm concerned it's got nothing to do with attention because I only do it on my thighs and hips

[Pyramid*]

I was.
Spoiler:
Ayiiia cuts herself while Joey hands her more knifes. Kinda of trashy but he hated her.
I mean they even got Dr Drew on to do the intro, it was serious.


With the best will in the world: I will take your word for it if you wish to believe it to be so. A reality TV show still doesn't quite cut the mustard for me. There may be a semblence of 'truth' but sorry, in my opinion, any reality TV show is less to do with real life - especially one which started off years ago with good intent - but then gained nothing but a reputation for people acting up - in every sense of the word 'acting'.and for misappropriate behaviour (and yes, attention seeking).

sorry, but that's my opinion. Not saying I am right, or you are wrong. It's simply my view.

[ILoveTRW]

http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/blogs/2009/interviews/the-real-world-cancun-ayiiia-talks-about-tonights-self-mutilation-episode/

What brought on this episode of cutting yourself? Your bio says you have a history of this behavior.
What I was going through at the house – everyone was very cutthroat. I never had to deal with that at home. Having to deal with that took me into depression mode. Cutting myself was sort of a release for me. I haven’t done that in a really really long time because at home I don’t really go through those emotions any more. I don’t deal with people that I really don’t like on a regular basis. So when I was put in that situation it was very hard for me. Being in the house with those people, you’re just totally out of your element, it really brought my depression out because I couldn’t count on anyone I felt, and it was difficult.

Tell me about the roommates at the house who were not supportive. The roommates that weren’t supportive?
I don’t really know what to say about them, because I feel they don’t really understand the situation. They kind of gave the typical answer that everyone gives – oh, she’s just looking for attention, blah blah blah. And it’s just honestly, when someone is dealing with something that big, it’s not for attention. I don’t believe anyone does it for attention. But that’s because they just didn’t understand. They need to look a little bit more and not judge the person right away. That can really damage someone.

Do you have any idea why you began cutting yourself?
To be honest with you, I think I was very influenced by movies that I watched. I didn’t really watch PG 13 movies when I was little, so that definitely influenced me. I would see people cutting themselves in a movie and I would think, ‘oh, maybe that would help.’ That definitely opened it up for me. And I haven’t been able to stop from there.

What advice would you give people going through a similar situation?
Just, keep your head up, honestly. It’s not worth it and not a good way to handle your stress. Hurting yourself is not the way. There are different outlets you can use – you can paint, you can jog, you can go out, you can do a sport, you can go shopping, anything to keep them away from it. Some lose hope because they think it’s the only thing that helps. This is the only thing they found. It’s not true, you have to keep going, keep searching for a different outlet. It’s not healthy whatsoever.

[lostalex]

i dabbled in it when i was 15. I did it because you feel so horrible, but life around you looks so perfect. I felt like everything was so fake. I wanted to make myself look like i felt. When i saw the cuts, i felt like at least there was something visual, something real that looked like how i felt, something that proved how i felt was real. Something i could see that made me feel less crazy. Cause when you are depressed or feeling like crap, you feel like it's only in your mind, but cutting was a way to take it out of your mind, and bring it into the real world.

When you see yourself bleeding, it feels more authentic. You feel like you deserve it, and you feel like finally you can see the hurt that was being hidden for so long. It proves to yourself that all the internal pain is real, and not just in your mind.

[Pyramid*]

http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/blogs/2009/interviews/the-real-world-cancun-ayiiia-talks-about-tonights-self-mutilation-episode/.

Setting the stage for an audience ILRW.

As I say, it's all for show - the tv audience. If you want to use the thread as a venue to discuss your passion for a reality TV show - that's up to you and it's your perogative to do so.


Personally, I'd rather discuss with real live people, who have actual experience, but that's just me.

[Mac Hiavellian]

Like most of you have already said some people believe external pain can aleviate internal/emotional pain. A sort of release. Oh and even the ones that do it for attention clearly have issues. One guy I know is always desperate to be the centre of attention and he was quite open about cuttign himself. At times I did/do get frustrated with him but at times I've defended him and said he should find other ways to express himself.

Btw I noticed some of you have said you've done it and aren't even sure of a solid reason. Going on a whim here: you don't necessarily have to always be distressed, angry or upset to do it. Some do it if they feel numb about something. It's another type of release like how people can go drinking and do drugs to try and experience something if they feel their repressing or void of human emotions

[Pyramid*]

Call me heartless or naive, but I still think that half of the time its attention seeking. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing

I wouldn't say you are either - we all have different opinions - and I do agree that there is an element of those who do such things to attention seek. It's the reason for the attention seeking that needs to be addressed ..... for the reasons I'd mentioned in my post to Charlie. it could indeed be for flippant reasons. on the other hand, there could be something far more concerning that the person is going through.f

It's a strange one, interesting one.

[Pyramid*]

Like most of you have already said some people believe external pain can aleviate internal/emotional pain. A sort of release. Oh and even the ones that do it for attention clearly have issues. One guy I know is always desperate to be the centre of attention and he was quite open about cuttign himself. At times I did/do get frustrated with him but at times I've defended him and said he should find other ways to express himself.

Btw I noticed some of you have said you've done it and aren't even sure of a solid reason. Going on a whim here: you don't necessarily have to always be distressed, angry or upset to do it. Some do it if they feel numb about something. It's another type of release like how people can go drinking and do drugs to try and experience something if they feel their repressing or void of human emotions

Good post. You've mentioned something I touched upon earlier: that those who self harm, can sometimes simply not verbalise or quite understand themselves, apart from 'release/pressure' being let out. It's very good point you've made: there are many other ways that this need for 'releasing that inner angst' could be channelled...... either by learning to verbalise, discuss, face up to possible fears or anxieties (real or otherwise) - or by chosing an alternative method of 'release' that is less/not harmful.

[lostalex]

Even if it is attention seeking, is that bad? Obviously people in pain do need help, and they don't feel comfortable asking for help directly, because of shame and embarassment. If it's for attention doesn't make it any less serious.

[Pyramid*]

Even if it is attention seeking, is that bad? Obviously people in pain do need help, and they don't feel comfortable asking for help directly, because of shame and embarassment. If it's for attention doesn't make it any less serious.

I'd say it does make a difference - It depends on the reason they need the attention.

If it is just because they are self absorbed little divas who think they world owe them a living (you know the type) - as opposed to something critical being at the root cause - rather than just a stroppy little git / or egotistical adult who has to be the centre of attention for nothing more than wanting to be 'star turn' all the time.

[lostalex]

I'd say it does make a difference - It depends on the reason they need the attention.

If it is just because they are self absorbed little divas who think they world owe them a living (you know the type) - as opposed to something critical being at the root cause - rather than just a stroppy little git / or egotistical adult who has to be the centre of attention for nothing more than wanting to be 'star turn' all the time.

I think what you're describing is just a hollywood character. I've never met anyone in my life that is just purely self-obsessed and 1 dimensional like that. I think it's important to always assume the best in people, and when someone looks like they're hurting, you should assume that they are.

[Pyramid*]

I think what you're describing is just a hollywood character. I've never met anyone in my life that is just purely self-obsessed and 1 dimensional like that. I think it's important to always assume the best in people, and when someone looks like they're hurting, you should assume that they are.

I'd say you had a lot to live yet and a lot of people to meet yet then , if you seriously think for one minute that what I described is a Hollywood character.

I think you should actually read back on my posts in respect of it being important to assume the best in people. I do, until they act like arseholes for no good reason.

[InOne]

I have dabbled in it in the past. I don't even really know why. But I could've seen myself getting really addicted to the rush, so had to put a stop to it.

[hannah.]

I'd say it does make a difference - It depends on the reason they need the attention.

If it is just because they are self absorbed little divas who think they world owe them a living (you know the type) - as opposed to something critical being at the root cause - rather than just a stroppy little git / or egotistical adult who has to be the centre of attention for nothing more than wanting to be 'star turn' all the time.

Surely if someone is so desperate for attention that they will purposely hurt themselves (whether superficially or not, to a degree), that craving in itself means that they are just as unhappy in themselves as those who do it for more emotional reasons. I don't think it's right to be elitist in the reason for someone harming themselves; it's not a normal thing to do in any circumstance.

[Redway]

They can't help it - depression.