The Psyche Behind Rejection.

[Pyramid*]

Rejection.

Prompted by another thread, something that fascinates me is human behaviour - it's an intesting point as far as human behaviour is concerned.

There are things in life that we all need / want acceptance for - in things that really matter - ie with our family / friends / careers etc. Then there are times/places where rejection really should not affect us - but does it?

Does it bother you to any great extent?

Do you have to feel part of the in-crowd?

Are you able to handle it when it comes knocking on your door?

Do you fear rejection? If so, why - what is it that you fear?

Open for discussion points from all points of view.

[InOne]

I've not very positive anyway so I've never been one to set myself up for a fall. Always been able to mix with a few social groups. It doesn't really bother me too much, then again I'm still quite young so not had THAT much of a big rejection in my life yet

[Pyramid*]

I've not very positive anyway so I've never been one to set myself up for a fall. Always been able to mix with a few social groups. It doesn't really bother me too much, then again I'm still quite young so not had THAT much of a big rejection in my life yet

Now that surprises me as you certainly come across as a positive upbeat soul.

I like the fact that you are happy to toddle off down to the pub when you're fed up - presumably on your ownsome. That's a good sign (or else it's the sign of an alkie...but I'll opt for the former!!). :)

[InOne]

I always meet my mates at the pub, just don't sit there in a corner :joker: It's just none of them live near me

[Vicky.]

I always assume the worst, and if better happens then its a bonus.

So never really get down about things :/

[Niamh.]

Depends on the situation and also what kind of mood I'm in.

[Ammi]

I don't feel rejected because I always put myself in the background, as that's were I like to be. I'm not one to be part of the in crowd, I like to do things in my own time and on my own terms and I hate being the centre of attention. I guess that seems selfish but I don't think anyone who knows me would describe me as selfish. Being rejected by someone really important to you, a loved one, is a hard one to handle though

[Pyramid*]

I always meet my mates at the pub, just don't sit there in a corner :joker: It's just none of them live near me


pmsl!! I didn't mean that you sat there like a complete saddo !!! :joker:

I travel about at various times and I actually quite enjoy sitting in a bar or restaurant on my ownsome - people watching!!!

[Boothy]

With regards to the questions, I certainly don't feel the need to be part of the 'in-crowd' and actually prefer not to be. Generally speaking, I tend to find these sort of people the try-hards who will say and do things that will gain them acceptance. The sort of people who will write 'Lol, dnt read' under the Favourite Books section on Facebook because reading isn't cool.

I'd much prefer to socialise with a bunch of genuine people who I've got things in common with.

With regards to rejection, I don't think I'd be too bothered by it, but I'm yet to find myself in a position when someone who's meant a lot to be has rejected me. I think that will come with life experience. I wouldn't say I'm scared of it though and it's not something I worry about.

[InOne]

pmsl!! I didn't mean that you sat there like a complete saddo !!! :joker:

I travel about at various times and I actually quite enjoy sitting in a bar or restaurant on my ownsome - people watching!!!

Yeah don't mind sitting there just reading the paper actually. I always like to be near a window to people watch as well lol

[Pyramid*]

With regards to the questions, I certainly don't feel the need to be part of the 'in-crowd' and actually prefer not to be. Generally speaking, I tend to find these sort of people the try-hards who will say and do things that will gain them acceptance. The sort of people who will write 'Lol, dnt read' under the Favourite Books section on Facebook because reading isn't cool.

I'd much prefer to socialise with a bunch of genuine people who I've got things in common with.

With regards to rejection, I don't think I'd be too bothered by it, but I'm yet to find myself in a position when someone who's meant a lot to be has rejected me. I think that will come with life experience. I wouldn't say I'm scared of it though and it's not something I worry about.

Sounds a very sensible and well balanced attitude Boothy, with much in line with my own thoughts.

Yeah don't mind sitting there just reading the paper actually. I always like to be near a window to people watch as well lol

It's the one part of travelling with the work now and again, that many of my colleagues loathe - I love it. Though half the time: other lone souls tend to meander over - much as it's a lovely gesture - it's very difficult to say, "Hoi, I was quite happy sitting here quietly eyeballing in my solitude". What is a bit awkward is when you are somewhere for a few days - and end up with the same people homing over to you and someone hitting on you................. that's when you learn how badly some take 'rejection'.

Apparently a few late night conversations sharing the same bar/restaurant spaces with some people is regarded as foreplay !! LOL

[arista]

I always assume the worst, and if better happens then its a bonus.

So never really get down about things :/


Get Down and Funky
But Watch out for Them Junkies




Bonus will arrive to you.

[CharlieO]

I generally try to set myself up for rejection/disappointment because it just tends to be easier that way.

I used to feel like I needed to be part of the 'in crowd' but definitely no anymore. I'd prefer to be anonymous/invisible than the coolest, most talked about person.

I do fear it thats why I try get myself into as little possible rejection situations ever.

And I do not handle it well, I do let it eat away at me when it does happen but thank god its not often.

I also find it hard to trust people and I'm always negative because if you don't establish deep connections with people you can never really felt like you have lost anything when they inevitably disappoint you.

[arista]

I generally try to set myself up for rejection/disappointment because it just tends to be easier that way.

I used to feel like I needed to be part of the 'in crowd' but definitely no anymore. I'd prefer to be anonymous/invisible than the coolest, most talked about person.

I do fear it thats why I try get myself into as little possible rejection situations ever.

And I do not handle it well, I do let it eat away at me when it does happen but thank god its not often.



Spiffing

[Pyramid*]

I generally try to set myself up for rejection/disappointment because it just tends to be easier that way.

I used to feel like I needed to be part of the 'in crowd' but definitely no anymore. I'd prefer to be anonymous/invisible than the coolest, most talked about person.

I do fear it thats why I try get myself into as little possible rejection situations ever.

And I do not handle it well, I do let it eat away at me when it does happen but thank god its not often.

I also find it hard to trust people and I'm always negative because if you don't establish deep connections with people you can never really felt like you have lost anything when they inevitably disappoint you.

That's a shame you feel that way. You have to remember though - one pretty important thing Charlie. Being rejected doesn't mean that the reason for rejection is 'you' - it could be the other person who has the issues - rather than you. Don't always view it as a negative thing - sometimes it's less to do with you - and more to do with the 'aim' of the other person.

ie: people who take, take, take and never give: you're better being rejected by that sort - because they have a connection with you for all the wrong reasons (not the best of examples I guess, but one that might make sense?).

A lot has to do with confidence - you're still fairly young and I'm pretty sure you're confidence will grow. I'm also pretty sure we were all of the same mindset at the same age (I know I was).

PMA and all that Charlie boy, PMA. :)

[arista]

Arista. You might want to consider what the words Serious Debates actually mean. Just a thought.....


You get so Deep.
You Need more Fun in your Life.




5.1 Sound in music is Bliss.




Feel The Force

[Ninastar]

I always prepare for the worst because im so afraid of rejection. I fear it so much that I don't think I act my true self around anyone. I think it's different with different people, with my friends I don't fear that they will reject me, I fear that they look at me differently where as with my parents I'm afraid of disappointing. I know that sounds kinda confusing, but I think that both views that I fear are both rejection in a way

[Pyramid*]

You get so Deep.
You Need more Fun in your Life.




5.1 Sound in music is Bliss.




Feel The Force

Plenty of other threads Arista for having a laugh and a craic. Serious debates isn't one of them. The clue is in the word 'Serious'.

[Pyramid*]

I always prepare for the worst because im so afraid of rejection. I fear it so much that I don't think I act my true self around anyone. I think it's different with different people, with my friends I don't fear that they will reject me, I fear that they look at me differently where as with my parents I'm afraid of disappointing. I know that sounds kinda confusing, but I think that both views that I fear are both rejection in a way

hell...most of us fear disappointing their parents: I did so with frightening regularity (some deliberately, some not) so don't let that put you off your stride. - we can't be all things to all people.

If you act your true self: you're being true to you - and that's surely got to be where it all starts. Wee bit of self belief (sometimes easier said than done mind you.

[Chuck]

I am absolutely terrified of being rejected by people I'm interested in getting to know, on the other hand, I don't care about being part of the popular group anymore, even though when I was at school, I used to be the best goalkeeper and was always picked first for the football teams and I must admit that it felt great to be popular.

On social networks, I have never sent any friend request to anyone because I just can't handle the anxiety of wondering if they'll accept me or not and getting a no as response.

I also have never been the one to make the first move on anyone and when I go to a first date, it's always awkward telling the person to call me because I just know that I wont be able to sleep until I receive the call and will be calling (bugging) my friends all the time to discuss what I could possibly have done wrong to have been rejected and if he's the one to tell me to call him, then I'll also get paranoid because I'll think he just said that to not be rude and I'll also be worried if I should follow the 3 days rule and etc. :L

/BridgetJones

[arista]

Plenty of other threads Arista for having a laugh and a craic. Serious debates isn't one of them. The clue is in the word 'Serious'.


I was Not having a Laugh.

[Pyramid*]

I was Not having a Laugh.

Okay, if not - I'll go with that. What are your thoughts on the questions posed in my opening post?

[Pyramid*]

she is OK

didn't see this or I'd have included in a multi quote.

Thanks.

[Benjamin]

Calm it down in here guys please, you have been warned...

[Pyramid*]

I am absolutely terrified of being rejected by people I'm interested in getting to know, on the other hand, I don't care about being part of the popular group anymore, even though when I was at school, I used to be the best goalkeeper and was always picked first for the football teams and I must admit that it felt great to be popular.

On social networks, I have never sent any friend request to anyone because I just can't handle the anxiety of wondering if they'll accept me or not and getting a no as response.

I also have never been the one to make the first move on anyone and when I go to a first date, it's always awkward telling the person to call me because I just know that I wont be able to sleep until I receive the call and will be calling (bugging) my friends all the time to discuss what I could possibly have done wrong to have been rejected and if he's the one to tell me to call him, then I'll also get paranoid because I'll think he just said that to not be rude and I'll also be worried if I should follow the 3 days rule and etc. :L

/BridgetJones

The dating side: I think if it's meant to be - you'll soon know. If someone is interested enough in you - you can be sure they will be in touch soon. If they aren't - and they are playing games - you're better off without them.

[arista]

Okay, if not - I'll go with that. What are your thoughts on the questions posed in my opening post?


Rejection is Normal


What is meant to be
is meant to be.


No Need to get Deep on this
it is not a problem that effects me

[Pyramid*]

Rejection is Normal


What is meant to be
is meant to be.


No Need to get Deep on this
it is not a problem that effects me

I'm a firm believer in that. What's meant for you won't go past you. And yes, you are correct. Rejection is indeed normal.