Utterly useless info.....that you might need ....

[Pyramid*]

Put down your useless (but true), facts never really ever likely to be used...... :D

Right starter for ten.....

If your breakdown in the desert ... the international sign for help is to raise both the bonnet and the boot of your vehicle doors. If anyone above spots it: they know someone is in dire need!

[Shasown]

In extreme cold climates if you fall through the ice into cold water, when getting back onto land roll around in snow, it helps to wick out the excess water from your clothes. Reducing the possibility of hypothermia.

[Shasown]

Near the end of the year, why not buy or obtain through other means a small green conifer tree, place it in the corner of your otherwise drab living room.


As an added bonus you could use it to store tinsell, fairy lights and hanging decorations.

[Doogle]

I love things like this, they're fun to read :love:

[Jayson]

You can't chew chewing gum in Singapore due to their hatred of how it dirties the environment.

[Kerry]

Some laws for you. You'll know what to avoid anyway.......

25. It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.

24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

23. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.

22. In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.

21. Under the UK’s Tax Avoidance Schemes Regulations 2006, it is illegal not to tell the taxman anything you don’t want him to know, though you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t mind him knowing.

20. In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle.

19. In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.

18. Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.

17. In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.

16. In Lancashire, no person is permitted after being asked to stop by a constable on the seashore to incite a dog to bark.

15. In Miami, Florida, it is illegal to skateboard in a police station.

14. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.

13. In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.

12. In London, Freemen are allowed to take a flock of sheep across London Bridge without being charged a toll; they are also allowed to drive geese down Cheapside.

11. In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.

10. In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.

9. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed.

8. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.

7. In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.

6. In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.

5. In Boulder, Colorado, it is illegal to kill a bird within the city limits and also to “own” a pet – the town’s citizens, legally speaking, are merely “pet minders”.

4. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

3. In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.

2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination; he may only see their reflection in a mirror.

1. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast is legally the property of the King; the tail, on the other hand, belongs to the Queen - in case she needs the bones for her corset.

24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.



PMSL - How do you avoid it and why would you care? :laugh2:

[Smithy]

24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

:joker: :joker:

[Smithy]

24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

:joker: :joker:

[Novo]

7. In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.

The best law ever

[Shaun]

ah crap, I've forgotten my archery practice

[Kerry]

I hope none of you are breaking the law :nono:

13. In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.

[Kerry]

ah crap, I've forgotten my archery practice

Bloody delinquent

[Pyramid*]

Ears and noses never stop growing!

[Pyramid*]

If I had been born and lived on Mars, I'd only be about 25 years of age!!

:spin:

[Shasown]

If you ever have to hunt seal to survive, when you get about 50 metres from them drop to the floor and crawl up close to them imitating their movemnets, when you get right up to them club them over the head, dont butcher females immediately, you can still milk them for several hours afterwards.

This tip will not only serve in the arctic but also if you ever get locked in a SeaWorld by mistake.

[Pyramid*]

If you ever have to hunt seal to survive, when you get about 50 metres from them drop to the floor and crawl up close to them imitating their movemnets, when you get right up to them club them over the head, dont butcher females immediately, you can still milk them for several hours afterwards.

This tip will not only serve in the arctic but also if you ever get locked in a SeaWorld by mistake.

:o:D


Here's a cracker (actually, one you might know from survival stuff).

A chicken (or other small birds) - if you have no fire, can be cooked if you place a dozen pieces of cutlery that are boiling hot inside.

Don't ask why me why one person would have so much cutlery on their person ...... I'm only relaying the fact!

[Shasown]

You can determine if a mushroom is safe to eat by trying a bit. If your stomach feels like fire and you start sh*tting blood, don’t eat any more.


If you’re injured, may as well sever the limb. It’ll make for a cool story when you get home anyway, plus you qualify for disabled parking at Tescos, too.

Use your shoes as mittens if your hands are cold. If your feet get cold, maybe you should think twice about getting lost in the ******ing wilderness.

Find out which way is north by asking someone with a compass or GPS.

[Pyramid*]

You can determine if a mushroom is safe to eat by trying a bit. If your stomach feels like fire and you start sh*tting blood, don’t eat any more.


If you’re injured, may as well sever the limb. It’ll make for a cool story when you get home anyway, plus you qualify for disabled parking at Tescos, too.

Use your shoes as mittens if your hands are cold. If your feet get cold, maybe you should think twice about getting lost in the ******ing wilderness.

Find out which way is north by asking someone with a compass or GPS.


I don't think you are taking this seriously are you !!!

:D


The best survival technique known to man is: always have a camera crew following you.

[Kate!]

Rofl at all Shawons posts. GENIUS!!

[Pyramid*]

15 percent of Americans secretly bite their toenails

Dublin is home to the Fairy Investigation Society

In ancient Egypt, you could be put to death for killing a cat

[Kate!]

15 percent of Americans secretly bite their toenails
Dublin is home to the Fairy Investigation Society

In ancient Egypt, you could be put to death for killing a cat

How do they know then, if it is in secret :hugesmile:

[Pyramid*]

How do they know then, if it is in secret :hugesmile:


they don't do it in public, in view of others, but admitted on a poll. ;)

[Shasown]

I don't think you are taking this seriously are you !!!

:D


The best survival technique known to man is: always have a camera crew following you.

No I have to disagree with you there. the best survival technique is the one secretly followed by both Bear Grilse and Ray Fatman Mears is stay within the hotel grounds and when it gets dark slope off back to the bar then your room.

[Pyramid*]

No I have to disagree with you there. the best survival technique is the one secretly followed by both Bear Grilse and Ray Fatman Mears is stay within the hotel grounds and when it gets dark slope off back to the bar then your room.


One of the best Bear ones I saw.....he's hanging off a cliff edge, tiny branch ready to snap, 100ft down into freezing cold rapids. Going into major panic mode, commenting that he's taking his life into his hands and was really worried that this is one he fear he will not survive .............................


................... whilst above him catching it all on film are the soundman, cameraman, producer, director, wardrobe personnel, make up artist, and the mobile snack van owner is burning the burgers!

[Shasown]

One of the best Bear ones I saw.....he's hanging off a cliff edge, tiny branch ready to snap, 100ft down into freezing cold rapids. Going into major panic mode, commenting that he's taking his life into his hands and was really worried that this is one he fear he will not survive .............................


................... whilst above him catching it all on film are the soundman, cameraman, producer, director, wardrobe personnel, make up artist, and the mobile snack van owner is burning the burgers!

He did one in Belize where he is supposed to have followed the Belize river to the sea. All the highland shots in the mountains were in the area of the Super Palm Resort in Belmopan.

His tent never left the hotel grounds, and the reason why his eyes looked like p***holes in the snow was because of the amount of charcoal rum and pineapple he downed the previous night.

When he arrived at the sea, there was no sign of Belize City Harbour, canoeing through that cesspit would have been a survival adventure worth noting.

[Shasown]

Ladies the quickest way to your man's heart is indeed through his stomach.


















A six inch veg knife should suffice!

[Pyramid*]

Ladies the quickest way to your man's heart is indeed through his stomach.




















A six inch veg knife should suffice!

http://www.lolpark.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Funny-Knife-Set.jpg

Why stop at one........

[Pyramid*]

He did one in Belize where he is supposed to have followed the Belize river to the sea. All the highland shots in the mountains were in the area of the Super Palm Resort in Belmopan.

His tent never left the hotel grounds, and the reason why his eyes looked like p***holes in the snow was because of the amount of charcoal rum and pineapple he downed the previous night.

When he arrived at the sea, there was no sign of Belize City Harbour, canoeing through that cesspit would have been a survival adventure worth noting.


You have ruined my belief that it was all real and that he puts his life on the line. :bawling::bawling::bawling: I am never going to recover. I hope you are proud of yourself. :hmph:

[Shasown]

You have ruined my belief that it was all real and that he puts his life on the line. :bawling::bawling::bawling: I am never going to recover. I hope you are proud of yourself. :hmph:

Yes, very.

[Niamh.]

http://www.lolpark.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Funny-Knife-Set.jpg

Why stop at one........

lol I bought that knife rack for my friend as a house warming present :joker:

[Pyramid*]

Yes, very.

Nasty man. Nasty. :bawling:

lol I bought that knife rack for my friend as a house warming present :joker:

I've been tempted several times to buy for my female friends...one of these days I might !!!

[Shasown]

lol I bought that knife rack for my friend as a house warming present :joker:

I bet he really appreciated it too!

[Marc]

If you ever have to hunt seal to survive, when you get about 50 metres from them drop to the floor and crawl up close to them imitating their movemnets, when you get right up to them club them over the head, dont butcher females immediately, you can still milk them for several hours afterwards.

This tip will not only serve in the arctic but also if you ever get locked in a SeaWorld by mistake.

:laugh3:

[CharlieO]

If you hear a fart; try to block your nose.

[Shasown]

If you hear a fart; try to block your nose.

Light a candle, that tip also works after a dump as well, you know the ones where the cloud starts rolling down the stairs. Light a candle in the toilet (not the bowl though ya plum), before you open the door to exit. Thats why they have candles in posh peoples bogs.

[Pyramid*]

Light a candle, that tip also works after a dump as well, you know the ones where the cloud starts rolling down the stairs. Light a candle in the toilet (not the bowl though ya plum), before you open the door to exit. Thats why they have candles in posh peoples bogs.


you know methane is combustible.

Are you trying to kill Charlie?

:o

[Shasown]

you know methane is combustible.

Are you trying to kill Charlie?

:o

Yes thats why a candle is used.

Never had a smoke while sitting on the pan dropping a log?

Its safe enough unless you got serious wind problems, then it could possibly be a tad dangerous.

Trust me am a gynecologist!

[Pyramid*]

Yes thats why a candle is used.

Never had a smoke while sitting on the pan dropping a log?

Its safe enough unless you got serious wind problems, then it could possibly be a tad dangerous.

Trust me am a gynecologist!


http://monkeysonparade.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/toilet_exploding.gif