Teenage Mothers

[Ninastar]

Has anyone else noticed a huge increase in teenage mothers? My god, I hate them so much.
I really hate girls that think it's okay to have a baby at 18 or younger. It's most likely that they don't have a job, and wont work after they have the baby either. More than 60% of the time, the girl wont stay with the father.

What I think I hate the most, is how glorified it is. I mean of course they get hate for it, but everyone talks about how brave they are and they get so much praise for it. TV shows don't help much at all.

what do you think about teenage mothers? I mean i'm sure there are some that are decent...

[Ninastar]

p.s if you are a teenage mother, i haven't meant to cause offence

[Doogle]

My thoughts on it are this: sure it's their decision to have children young but (and I know I'm only 14 so I don't want to try and sound like some older person) you have a whole future ahead, you have years to be free and do what you want to do, go through life, make mistakes, then eventually settle down and get to the stage where you feel mature and ready for children. Too many teenage mothers are not ready and I don't think they realise the responsibility of having a baby (again, I'm no expert, going by what pretty much everyone says). They should really go out or just do whatever they want to enjoy themselves before being tied down with such a massive responsibility.

[Niamh.]

Accidents happen and some deal with it very well, but it's not ideal for either the baby or the mother. I don't like the way it seems to have been glorified either. That story in EEs with Lola getting pregnant at 15 is a prime example of the way some teenage girls seem to think about getting pregnant.

[MTVN]

I looked at a Facebook profile of this girl who used to be in my year and I realised that she's gone and had twins now (back when she was 17) with a 15 year old who isn't even her boyfriend, I find it crazy to think she's the same age as me and has had kids already. And then all the comments on Facebook telling her how proud she should be and stuff and I'm just thinking :conf2: Someone else in my school had a kid when she was 13/14 and it's with Social Services which shows how unready she was I guess

In a way I sympathise, I don't think they really think through everything properl, it's not like they're doomed to failure either, I'm sure a lot of teens are great parents and genuinely able to look after a kid but I'm not sure if that's the case for the majority, I don't think it's a great age to have children at at all

[Firewire]

Someone I know is a teenage mother. She fell pregnant at 14. She's a fantastic mother and sat her exams and is still at school. She's 17 now and her daughter is 18 months.

She's an amazing example of a good teenage mother, you guys don't know her though so can't really comment on it.

[GypsyGoth]

I don't think the state should financially support teenage moms.

[Ninastar]

I don't think the state should financially support teenage moms.

neither do I.

[Bluerang1]

I don't like it. And the fact that they're uneducated on how babies are made. I have one in a class, biology, and she's was just learning about mitosis, meiosis etc. They don't even know how their child is formed yet they have one or sex. What you gonna do though? It's their life. Feel sorry for them though, guys never get the blame.

[Omah]

MANY teenage mothers are either ignorant or have been grossly misinformed about sex - the rest are just stupid ..... :mad:

None of them should receive help from the state and the fathers (if old enough!) should be prosecuted ..... :hmph:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_pregnancy_and_sexual_health_in_the_United_ Kingdom

Teenage pregnancy in the United Kingdom is a long-standing social phenomenon. The only other western country with comparable teenage pregnancy rates is the United States.

Comparative pregnancy rate

The United Kingdom currently has the highest teenage birth rate in Western Europe. Over the last fifty years the proportion of teenagers and in particular those under the age of 16 who have experienced sexual intercourse has increased dramatically. The 2001 survey of sexual attitudes and lifestyles revealed that over 90% of teenagers had experience of sexual intercourse and around a quarter had before the age of 16. Though with the increase in the proportion having intercourse, there has also been an increase in the knowledge and use of contraception, through sex education and the upsurge in family planning clinics.

Change in pregnancy rate over time

Births to teenagers increased during the 1960s and peaked in 1971 at 50.6 per thousand of the population. Since 1971 they have gradually fallen to their lowest level since the mid Fifties. The proportion occurring outside marriage has increased from around one in six in the 1950s to nine in every ten in 2006. Teenage abortion rates are currently at their highest rate since legalisation in 1968. Although the number of conceptions are falling the proportion ending in abortion has increased over the last ten years.

Geographic variation in pregnancy rate

High teenage pregnancy rates are found in areas with low GCSE exam success such as Nottingham, Kingston upon Hull, Doncaster, Barnsley, Middlesbrough, Manchester (highest), Sandwell, Bristol, Stoke on Trent, Bradford, North East Lincolnshire, and Blackpool. In 1997, A study revealed that there was a north and south divide in the rate of conceptions to under 18s. With the highest rates and proportion leading to maternity being in the north of Britain and the lowest rates with the highest proportion leading to abortion, being in the south, with London being the exception having both high rates of conception and those leading to an abortion.

:idc:

[Kerry]

I don't think the state should financially support teenage moms.

yes, the streets are much nicer for babies and new parents

[Kerry]

Yes, some teens use having babies as an "easy" (if anyone of you know's what it's like to have children - I doubt it) ride. But they take that route anyway and will sponge. Those being the ones that give the rest a bad name

Many, those that they DON'T make TV shows about, do well

[Bollo]

I don't understand how having a baby at such a young age is seen as something to aspire to, i think it's more likely a lack of education and/ or family background in which these teenage pregnancies occur. If you have knowledge and a stable upbringing you are taught about contraception, morals, values etc and are more likely to understand that you need to experience a bit of life (i.e college / university, travelling, career, social, find the right partner etc) before you make the big commitment of having children

[nicole_burks]

You can't say the girls don't stay with the fathers.
Sometimes the father doesn't stay with the girls.
I know a lot of teenagers that have had babies, I don't agree with it but it's not like you can stop it or anything. :/

[Ninastar]

You can't say the girls don't stay with the fathers.
Sometimes the father doesn't stay with the girls.
I know a lot of teenagers that have had babies, I don't agree with it but it's not like you can stop it or anything. :/

i don't care, whichever way it happens, they still don't stay together more than half the time

and I know i can't stop it, I just think it's getting ridiculous

[Ninastar]

These girls that have the kids at this age, they are still children themselves. They have no idea. I just can't see someone at this age being a good mum. How much do they do themselves anyway? Money wise how do they pay for their kid? The father, their parents? the state?

[InOne]

I knew a girl and she said her friends were actively wanting to get preggers at a young age. It's what has created this new underclass of kids growing up with their grandparents and parents never having jobs.

[Ninastar]

I knew a girl and she said her friends were actively wanting to get preggers at a young age. It's what has created this new underclass of kids growing up with their grandparents and parents never having jobs.

yeah it's called the cycle of deprivation i think, I remember learning about it in sociology

[MTVN]

I don't see how cutting off potentially their only source of income in the form of State support will help anything, it will just make the situation even more difficult for the mother. You could say it would act as a disincentive to other teenagers not to get pregnant but it's still not fair to chuck teenage mothers under a bus just to try and prove some sort of a point, I think that very few go and get knocked up solely to receive State benefits

[InOne]

yeah it's called the cycle of deprivation i think, I remember learning about it in sociology

It just annoys me when the mothers say they don't have enough money and stuff, yet they have the flat screen TV, internet, decent house, and can always afford cigs

[Novo]

Compared to about 10 years ago the difference is huge... you could go to town and see a few people with pushchairs but now it's nearly impossible for you not to see one, what really gets me is seeing wasters who can't provide for the kids they already have get pregnant every year like it's some sort of chore when some woman who want a baby a lot lot more and for more genuine reasons can't give birth

[Jordan.]

My mum was a teenage mother and shes worked full time since she left school, bought her own house and was with my dad for 13 years and i'd say me and my sister have had just as good if not better upbringing than a lot of my close friends with older parents. It's just a shame now a lot of teen parents tend to be your typical orange slag. But there are a few good ones out there.

[Chuck]

Everytime a relative calls me to tell "great news", it's always about some cousin who just got pregnant. I can't say I'm glad/happy with the news because I know they don't have the financial structure to give those children a decent life and aren't mature enough to even take care of themselves, let alone a child. But whenever I voice my opinion about that matter, my family just says that I'm miserable and secretly jealous because I'm gay and will never have any child. :hmph:

[Benjamin]

MANY teenage mothers are either ignorant or have been grossly misinformed about sex - the rest are just stupid ..... :mad:

None of them should receive help from the state and the fathers (if old enough!) should be prosecuted ..... :hmph:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_pregnancy_and_sexual_health_in_the_United_ Kingdom



:idc:

But on the other side of the coin you forget how impressionable, infatuated and easily influenced younger people, especially girls cane be. An older male can 'brainwash'/pressure them into having sex and before they know it they are pregnant with a child. Obviously this does not apply to all. I actually know a girl (who was my friend) that went out of her way at 17 to get pregnant just so she didn't have to work and the council would provide her with a house.

[Niamh.]

Someone I know is a teenage mother. She fell pregnant at 14. She's a fantastic mother and sat her exams and is still at school. She's 17 now and her daughter is 18 months.

She's an amazing example of a good teenage mother, you guys don't know her though so can't really comment on it.

People have said (me included) that there are of course good teenage mothers. Again, accidents happen but the thing I have a problem with is teenagers who choose to have a baby when they don't have the financial means to support a child first of all and are really too young and immature to know how big an impact it will have on their lives, probably their parents lives and also a new babies life.

[Livia]

I don't know what a teenager could possibly think they have to offer a child. I'm sure teenagers on here think they're already well-rounded people, but I know the older members will remember when they themselves were teenagers and thought they knew everything.

I know mistakes happen, but not on the volume they seem to be happening, unless IQs have dropped sharply in the last couple of decades. While I don't think teenage mothers should be thrown onto the streets, neither do I think they should be instantly rewarded with benefits and social accommodation. I also think the fathers should be made to pay for their offspring.

[Ninastar]

Compared to about 10 years ago the difference is huge... you could go to town and see a few people with pushchairs but now it's nearly impossible for you not to see one, what really gets me is seeing wasters who can't provide for the kids they already have get pregnant every year like it's some sort of chore when some woman who want a baby a lot lot more and for more genuine reasons can't give birth

Exactly, it just annoys me so much.
My mum was a teenage mother and shes worked full time since she left school, bought her own house and was with my dad for 13 years and i'd say me and my sister have had just as good if not better upbringing than a lot of my close friends with older parents. It's just a shame now a lot of teen parents tend to be your typical orange slag. But there are a few good ones out there.

Like novo said, it's alot more common now. I think your mum is a good example of a teenage mother, but unfortunately there are very few nowadays.

People have said (me included) that there are of course good teenage mothers. Again, accidents happen but the thing I have a problem with is teenagers who choose to have a baby when they don't have the financial means to support a child first of all and are really too young and immature to know how big an impact it will have on their lives, probably their parents lives and also a new babies life.

Yeah I agree. It's not fair on the child, it really isn't. I don't think teenage mothers think about that though.

[Ninastar]

I don't know what a teenager could possibly think they have to offer a child. I'm sure teenagers on here think they're already well-rounded people, but I know the older members will remember when they themselves were teenagers and thought they knew everything.

I know mistakes happen, but not on the volume they seem to be happening, unless IQs have dropped sharply in the last couple of decades. While I don't think teenage mothers should be thrown onto the streets, neither do I think they should be instantly rewarded with benefits and social accommodation. I also think the fathers should be made to pay for their offspring.

Yeah it's just a tricky and difficult situation.

With teenagers, they hardly know who they are. In my opinion, having children is something you should do when you know what you actually want from life.

[Niall]

In some cases its really and accident so I guess it is what it is in that respect. As other people have stated in this thread before me, it is in no way ideal for the mother or the child as it just puts strain on them both but if the baby was unplanned and the mother decided to keep it then fair play y'know.

Its the ones that plan it all when they're still in their teens, that I don't understand or approve of. Like how they plan to have a baby so early terrifies me in the fact that I don't think they've actually thought through how much care, attention and time a child requires. It astounds me how some people in my age bracket can be that ignorant. I know that I wouldn't even dream of having kids until I was at least in my late 20s.

[arista]

Accidents - Very Few.

[fruit_cake]

I don't think single mothers should get extra benefits for each child they have, but somebody is going to work for our pensions in old age.

I do prefer single mothers to those who abort. I have very very strong feelings against abortion.

[arista]

I don't think single mothers should get extra benefits for each child they have, but somebody is going to work for our pensions in old age.

I do prefer single mothers to those who abort. I have very very strong feelings against abortion.



Keep Them Hidden.


As Woman have Rights
and its Legal to Abort.

[Sam:)]

My friend is 14 and is going to be a dad! He had sex with some girl without a condom because he thought a girl couldn't pregnant on your first time.
People just need to cop on, most of these teenagers think they are really 30 and capable of having real relationships,sex lives. In 90% of the cases it see's the teens life ruined, they give up education and forfeit any chance of getting a decent job, and then the teens parents end up paying for it financially and they will probably be stuck looking after the child.

[fruit_cake]

Keep Them Hidden.


As Woman have Rights
and its Legal to Abort.

ok I will keep them hidden :joker:

[arista]

ok I will keep them hidden :joker:


No You are free to State it
Infact there is a Gang on here that will back you.



Sign Of The Times

[fruit_cake]

No You are free to State it
Infact there is a Gang on here that will back you.



Sign Of The Times

what do you think about abortion Arista, are you in favour?

[arista]

what do you think about abortion Arista, are you in favour?


Yes I am.

Its Legal and saves so many Woman.


In America Bible Nutters Kill Doctors that Abort
this is the problem.

[MTVN]

Are you against it for religious reasons Fruit Cake, or just moral ones?

[Ninastar]

I'm not against abortion, but I can totally see why a person would hate it. I used to think people who had abortions were selfish for a long time, but only this year did I think about it more and how it would affect the baby if it were to live.

[fruit_cake]

Are you against it for religious reasons Fruit Cake, or just moral ones?

I'm against it for moral reasons, what about you???

[MTVN]

I'm against it for moral reasons, what about you???

Oh right fair enough, and nah I'm a big defender of Abortion, or the right to have one anyway

[fruit_cake]

Oh right fair enough, and nah I'm a big defender of Abortion, or the right to have one anyway

ok Matt, I can see a potentially huge 10000 page thread coming on so it's possibly best I don't say anything more at this point :)

I think when I was younger I was in favour of people's right to have an abortion but since I'm a bit older and had children that changed completely

[Jords]

I dont think its right to say those unplanned are 'accidents' because they know very well what theyre doing and know to use precautions (this annoys me so much CONDOMS ARE FREE). Its a risk that didnt pay off.

Anyway on the actual matter, some teenage mothers are great, other are appalling... but thats very much the case for mothers of any age. With teenage mums they have a lot less experience under their belt, very emotional and not settled down with a job in hand. But if they have a good supporting family, they do well.

I dont think its right to say 18 is too young (my dad was 18), I think thats probably the minimum 'ideal' age. Any younger and they are diving in well too fast and giving up their childhood too soon.

Having young parents though (my mum was 21) is really great in many ways and as well as teenage mothers having problems in certain ways I think older mums (40's) do also.

[MTVN]

ok Matt, I can see a potentially huge 10000 page thread coming on so it's possibly best I don't say anything more at this point :)

I think when I was younger I was in favour of people's right to have an abortion but since I'm a bit older and had children that changed completely

Ha yeah that's fine by me, I'm not that interested in getting into a huge abortion argument :laugh:

[Ninastar]

yeah I don't want this to turn into another abortion thread either

I just like hearing different opinions on what I call a problem

[Niamh.]

I dont think its right to say those unplanned are 'accidents' because they know very well what theyre doing and know to use precautions (this annoys me so much CONDOMS ARE FREE). Its a risk that didnt pay off.

Anyway on the actual matter, some teenage mothers are great, other are appalling... but thats very much the case for mothers of any age. With teenage mums they have a lot less experience under their belt, very emotional and not settled down with a job in hand. But if they have a good supporting family, they do well.

I dont think its right to say 18 is too young (my dad was 18), I think thats probably the minimum 'ideal' age. Any younger and they are diving in well too fast and giving up their childhood too soon.

Having young parents though (my mum was 21) is really great in many ways and as well as teenage mothers having problems in certain ways I think older mums (40's) do also.

I think a mother in their 40's would be far more able and prepared to cope with a child than a teenage mother.

[Marc]

:nono: Caitlin judging.

[Tom]

I dont think its right to say those unplanned are 'accidents' because they know very well what theyre doing and know to use precautions (this annoys me so much CONDOMS ARE FREE). Its a risk that didnt pay off.

Free ones are rubbish, they split really easily. They're also only 98% effective so its not always that simple

[Jords]

I think a mother in their 40's would be far more able and prepared to cope with a child than a teenage mother.

Able yes but I think there is likely to have less connection between child and parents and also Ive read its less safe for a baby if they are born from an older mother.

Im definitely not saying its wrong or anything, but it has its problems like teenage mums do just in a different way.

[Ninastar]

I think a mother in their 40's would be far more able and prepared to cope with a child than a teenage mother.
yeah exactly. I used to think it was way better to have a baby at this age, but that was so niave of me. At 40 you've experienced so much more, you understand people, you've most likely worked for half your life. You likely live in your own home. Most importantly you are likely to have a job/career and money to spend on your children.
:nono: Caitlin judging.
get out

[King Gizzard]

http://peterthomas.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/pigeon-hole.jpg?w=300&h=300

[Marc]

Caitin I love you still

[Niamh.]

Able yes but I think there is likely to have less connection between child and parents and also Ive read its less safe for a baby if they are born from an older mother.

Im definitely not saying its wrong or anything, but it has its problems like teenage mums do just in a different way.

The only concern I'd have about a 40 year old having a baby is there's a higher risk something would be wrong with the baby, other than that none. Definitely not that they'll have less of a connection, a mother is a mother, not a buddy.


yeah exactly. I used to think it was way better to have a baby at this age, but that was so niave of me. At 40 you've experienced so much more, you understand people, you've most likely worked for half your life. You likely live in your own home. Most importantly you are likely to have a job/career and money to spend on your children.

get out

Yeah, I agree.

[King Gizzard]

Don't think being a parent at 40 is the best thing in the world, from personal experience your parents are more likely to do less activities with you (in my case) because they're older etc et

[Ninastar]

Don't think being a parent at 40 is the best thing in the world, from personal experience your parents are more likely to do less activities with you (in my case) because they're older etc et

yeah thats true, but it can also be the opposite. With teenage parents, they want to be as close as they can with their child. and they end up having more of a friend type relationship with their child then they do a parental role.

[Ninastar]

Caitin I love you still

can't even spell my name right :sad:

-files for divorce-

[Jords]

The only concern I'd have about a 40 year old having a baby is there's a higher risk something would be wrong with the baby, other than that none. Definitely not that they'll have less of a connection, a mother is a mother, not a buddy.


Connection isnt always on a buddy level... but I also think its good if your close to your parents like that (not going gigging, or to a party rave or anything like that... but simple things like chilling or going for a drink and enjoying the time).

[Niamh.]

Connection isnt always on a buddy level... but I also think its good if your close to your parents like that (not going gigging, or to a party rave or anything like that... but simple things like chilling or going for a drink and enjoying the time).

Of course, but why would you think a 40 year old couldn't do that?

[Jords]

Of course, but why would you think a 40 year old couldn't do that?

They wont be 40 when the child is say 18, theyd be 58 and Im not saying they cant but its just limiting on what interests you can share. Whereas a young parent would have much more in common with you (theyd only be 38 when youre 18 if they had you at 20). Its just about being more relatable.

[Joe.]

I'm in year 11 and there's like 3 girls pregnant. LOL.

*Wasn't me* *Honestly*

[Niamh.]

They wont be 40 when the child is say 18, theyd be 58 and Im not saying they cant but its just limiting on what interests you can share. Whereas a young parent would have much more in common with you (theyd only be 38 when youre 18 if they had you at 20). Its just about being more relatable.

I don't think having a kid over 40 is ideal either but my mother is 58 and she goes out more than I do :laugh: I understand what you're saying but if you have had built a decent relationship with your kids as they're growing up, then you'll always be able to relate to them no matter what age you are. It's not much good being close in age if your relationship doesn't have good foundations. (not saying that all younger parents won't have good foundations of course)

[Jords]

I don't think having a kid over 40 is ideal either but my mother is 58 and she goes out more than I do :laugh: I understand what you're saying but if you have had built a decent relationship with your kids as they're growing up, then you'll always be able to relate to them no matter what age you are. It's not much good being close in age if your relationship doesn't have good foundations. (not saying that all younger parents won't have good foundations of course)

Yepp I agree and Im just speaking in general thats how I perceive it to be when comparing young and older parents :)

[Ammi]

I met my OH when I was very, very young. Our families didn't really think we would last as we were so young and we could easily have had a child in our teens to prove we were 'grown ups' and prove them wrong. We didn't, we were together about 14 years before we had our first child, we spent time just enjoying each other and travelling. I wonder if some teenagers do have children to get people to take them seriously and prove they are grown ups. The problem is, it's not until years later you realise how 'un' grown up you were when you were a teenager.

[Tom]

I don't think having a kid over 40 is ideal either but my mother is 58 and she goes out more than I do :laugh: I understand what you're saying but if you have had built a decent relationship with your kids as they're growing up, then you'll always be able to relate to them no matter what age you are. It's not much good being close in age if your relationship doesn't have good foundations. (not saying that all younger parents won't have good foundations of course)

My mum is about 50 and I'm no lightweight but her and her mates can drink me and my mates under the table

But I think its really important to not blur boundaries between parents and friends. They should be your friends but only to an extent.

I met my OH when I was very, very young. Our families didn't really think we would last as we were so young and we could easily have had a child in our teens to prove we were 'grown ups' and prove them wrong. We didn't, we were together about 14 years before we had our first child, we spent time just enjoying each other and travelling. I wonder if some teenagers do have children to get people to take them seriously and prove they are grown ups. The problem is, it's not until years later you realise how 'un' grown up you were when you were a teenager.

Its not really the same because I'm not a teenager, but at 22 you could probably stick me in the same bracket to an extent. I'm a new parent (still feels weird saying that!!) but its nothing to do with being taken seriously, it just happened and we went with it. I'm sure thats the same for a lot of others too but I think to an extent a baby is an accessory for some.

[Niamh.]

My mum is about 50 and I'm no lightweight but her and her mates can drink me and my mates under the table

But I think its really important to not blur boundaries between parents and friends. They should be your friends but only to an extent.

Yeah, absolutely agree with that.



Its not really the same because I'm not a teenager, but at 22 you could probably stick me in the same bracket to an extent. I'm a new parent (still feels weird saying that!!) but its nothing to do with being taken seriously, it just happened and we went with it. I'm sure thats the same for a lot of others too but I think to an extent a baby is an accessory for some.

22 is a world away from 16 though at the same time! I was 21 when I had my daughter, she wasn't planned and a bit older would have been better but at the same time I think she made me pull myself together and sort my life out. I felt much more capable when I had my son at 25.

[Beastie]

Don't think being a parent at 40 is the best thing in the world, from personal experience your parents are more likely to do less activities with you (in my case) because they're older etc et

Some men/women who have children in their 40's are still fit and healthy. Maybe even healthier than people in their 20's who go out on the lash all the time. I mean we have to work until we are 65. Maybe 70 in the future. I have no problem with older parents. I think there should be a limit though. Like have no kids after the age of 45 or something.

I also heard there is a risk of having a baby when you are young. I thought between the ages of 18-21 you have more chance getting a down syndrome child :S As well as getting more chance of this when you are older.

Therefore it's best to have kids in your 20's/30's!

[Beastie]

yeah thats true, but it can also be the opposite. With teenage parents, they want to be as close as they can with their child. and they end up having more of a friend type relationship with their child then they do a parental role.

You should be a parent to a child. You become more of a friend maybe when the child becomes an adult.

[Ninastar]

Some men/women who have children in their 40's are still fit and healthy. Maybe even healthier than people in their 20's who go out on the lash all the time. I mean we have to work until we are 65. Maybe 70 in the future. I have no problem with older parents. I think there should be a limit though. Like have no kids after the age of 45 or something.

I also heard there is a risk of having a baby when you are young. I thought between the ages of 18-21 you have more chance getting a down syndrome child :S As well as getting more chance of this when you are older.

Therefore it's best to have kids in your 20's/30's!
I don't think that's true. The main risk with teenagers giving birth is that the girls hips aren't wide enough for a natural childbirth. I think it's more common for babies to be born premature as well.