The Tibb Nativity 2011: Act 7:The Finale now posted :D

[Kate!]

http://i.imgur.com/IccrT.png

Front Cover Designed by Jarroddaniel1

[Kate!]

The Cast

Star - Niamh

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTna7cfnYGDhozp18mnGCul7J57i9UM1 Fer0NwLHjvRQh2C_t0j

God - Shaun

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRVlWRj_WuZ4a7fDb_f_8ZY3BM6Qv5N0 y_0ZtKN8N0X8p7fjt2q

Holy Spirit - Scott

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRewDAiU5XlGSMZEt4PsCWEXE3KDvfP 9sadhrS7VkKENLc31-4nA

Innkeeper - Ammi
Innkeepers daughter - Exotic Rosebud

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQdE70IXeNiPg2ZwiuM2Wq3kGXF43ck2-RuaH_OUc41mcPEzJu4Tw

Joseph - Black Dagger
Mary - ukturtle

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRcFyMSG3ICDAryGWyVoWmf2OZxAEzK3 eY-2fo63Ihg8m6Qtr2Hig

Jesus - Smithy

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQpRjuFOVqXKPxmq_6Wj8sIL5cCKJrdm slpd5d5nmIls5LeW4WyrA

Mary's sister Petula - Chuckpass

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSaMz5XV-xlA3yHzayhB91UFCM0_Xq16BgdCAydBwIKTta6uNSo

Wisemen:
Alvin - Eoin
Simon - Marc
Theodore - Nathan

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSMpvnN6v3eLNdVdw63DOG9sPHvuH1kU kgd9e6M0b9rlrq7TP4O

Kings:
King Aaronius - Novo
King Antonius - Locke
King Victorious - Roy Mars III

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS_lSfzxATQyNrnxEIru9-o7EGLkf_ASjGp2Dh6Se55CPztdZTN

Shepherds:
Doogle
Conor
Mtvn
Jarroddaniel

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQYK8iep-l-CQ4iD1pC2RRkGGhfYkueXeIk_Ekw6H6ZOIohMI0J

Sheep:
Boyd - Michael21
Floyd - Callum
Lloyd - Jords
Sebastian - Patrick

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSI76aUrh9otMIT2kc2rJ1-kxq_wDH6JIfrgp_RIiiEBWMG1fTj0Q

Angels:
Vicky
Josy
Mollie
GypsyGoth
Ninastar
Kerry
Kazanne

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS6BH4iT5VfdGYZJHdknBe9UHMTwx7LX zVec5SdwLfDzHMb5-wr

Donkey - Lee

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTsdnmFfkEyn9LiPoTtiegsLpH69nMNy gJpNFLlAaBOrmqNIfxVVw

Narrator - Kate

[Smithy]

My programme tbh >>>>

But I'm excited to read it :amazed:

[Locke.]

Think you have got the angels mixed up, they are all supposed to be under donkeys

[Kate!]

Think you have got the angels mixed up, they are all supposed to be under donkeys

:joker:

be quiet King Antonius!

[Black Dagger]

-Joseph is backstage, being calm and quiet (for once in his life)-

Looking forward, post soon <3.

[Benjamin]

I'm a virgin again! :amazed:

[Smithy]

pfft, so what? you got knocked up by a toilet seat? idts :idc:

[Niamh.]

I have the Starring role :idc:

[Shaun]

-smites Ben for using my name in vain-

[Benjamin]

You are acting as me in this. :tongue:

[Benjamin]

pfft, so what? you got knocked up by a toilet seat? idts :idc:

Maybe I did, is that not how you get pregnant?

[Kate!]

In Olden Times a Decree was passed, from Caesar Augustus, that all citizens should be taxed. All men and their families must journey to the place of their birth to pay these taxes. Joseph, a humble carpenter from Galilee, had to prepare for a long journey into Judaea, unto the City of David, also known as Bethlehem. His wife, Mary, had some news for him..............


ACT 1 SCENE 1

THE NIGHT BEFORE THE JOURNEY

NARRATOR: Joseph is not yet home from work. Mary is folding laundry in the kitchen.

MARY: Golly Gumdrops, this housework is never ending. I wish something exciting would happen, for a change.

NARRATOR: There is a sudden flash, and a loud bang!

MARY: Flippin' Heck, I wish my sister Petula and her fella had never moved in next door, I am fed up with hearing them jumping off the wardrobe, no respect whatsoever.

GOD: Mary, do not be afraid! It is I, your Lord and God. I have some very important news for you.

HOLY SPIRIT: YOU SAID I COULD TELL HER!!! I never get to do any of the important stuff, I just hover around looking Holy, I think people are scared of me. I need to build up some kind of rapport with these humans.

GOD (Sighs): Go on then, anything for a quiet life, you tell her.

HOLY SPIRIT: Awesome! Well Mary, you have been chosen for a very special honour, you are to bear and give birth to God's son. You will name him Jesus. Make sure you take all your vitamins regularly, we want him to arrive in tiptop condition, he's going to have a hard life. Any questions?

MARY: Goodness, what a lot to take in. I am very honoured indeed God. Whatever shall I tell Joseph though?

GOD: I'll write him a note, here.....

HOLY SPIRIT: Would you like a song before we go, we are super at Karaoke, it's our new hobby, I got a machine for my birthday.

MARY: Sure, ok then.

NARRATOR: God and the Holy Spirit proceed to deliver a very energetic version of "Spirit in the Sky".

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MARY: Aah, that's was bloody marvellous. Will you have a cup of tea before you go?

GOD: No, no. We have to get back. I've got a cake in the oven.

HOLY SPIRIT: And I have some knitting to finish. Bye.

NARRATOR: God and the Holy Spirit disappear in a cloud of smoke. Mary sits down at the table to await Joseph's return.....Joseph enters the kitchen, he looks tired.

JOSEPH: Ay up lass, I hope tea's nearly ready. What are we having?

MARY: Beans on toast. It's almost ready yes, sit down first though Joseph, I have some important news for you.

NARRATOR: Joseph sits down at the kitchen table looking a little anxious. Mary passes him the note from God, and Joseph reads it aloud.

"Dear Joseph. Mary is now with child, my son in fact. You need to look after her and raise the boy as your own. I know you will appreciate the honour that been bestowed on you both. Yours sincerely, God. PS. Holy Spirit here. Don't even think of getting in touch with Jeremy Kyle show, last time they had us on was a disaster, God was very angry with Jeremy. Laters."

**********************************************

[Shaun]

oh I'm acting as you? -takes off all my clothes and films myself pretending to be drunk and whispering- ;)

[Niamh.]

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111020072608/creepypasta/images/2/23/Clap.gif

[Kate!]

ACT 1 SCENE 2

NARRATOR: Mary goes to her sister Petula's house to break the news. Petula answers the door, wearing a scarlet and pink stripy shirt over black underwear and bright red socks. She has purple hair.

MARY: Hi Petula, I see you have been experimenting with designs again.

PETULA: Come in Mary, what's new with you then?

NARRATOR: Petula steps back and looks Mary up and down.

PETULA: Hells horses, how did you get so fat, I only saw you yesterday. ARE YOU PREGNANT?!!

MARY: Yes I am, it's Gods baby, he and the Holy Spirit came to visit earlier and said I was the Chosen One.

PETULA: Thought that was Aaron Allard Morgan.

MARY: What? Who? Eh?

PETULA: Never mind. Well, I am pleased for you, and Joseph, you must look after yourself, sit down and have a brandy.

NARRATOR: The two sisters spend a pleasant evening getting trollied and discussing current affairs (Doris Davis down the road has been seen with the new vicar) It is almost midnight when Mary returns home, drunk as a skunk. Petula accompanies her to the door, to make sure she doesn't fall over.

PETULA: Hey Mary, what's papa going to say about the baby do you think?

NARRATOR: Mary looks at Petula and they begins to sing. Petula soon joins in.

MARY/PETULA: "Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep. Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep. But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my babieeeeeeee. I'm gonna keep my baby, yeah!"

jWWYwlTPvGk

*************************************************

ACT 2 TOMORROW :D

[Niamh.]

PETULA: Thought that was Aaron Allard Morgan.

:laugh2:

[Jarrod]

Love It! xD

[Black Dagger]

"Thought it was that Aaron Allard Morgan"

BAHAHAHA, I love it, can't wait for more.

[King Gizzard]

It's ok guys you can call me Theo

http://www.go4costumes.com/stockimages/19312.jpg

['Conor]

oh hurrah i'm a shepherd :hugesmile:

[King Gizzard]

Isn't it just the 3 wisemen, there aren't 3 kings in the nativity :suspect:

[Ammi]

It's ok guys you can call me Theo

http://www.go4costumes.com/stockimages/19312.jpg

...must have read Wide Man

[Black Dagger]

Isn't it just the 3 wisemen, there aren't 3 kings in the nativity :suspect:

Yes, but this is Kate's nativity so she can do what she likes with it. xD

(Isn't just making Kate feel better because I'm a lead role) :p

[Kate!]

There are usually kings, they are the ones who bring the gifts. :)

[Doogle]

Kate this is actually very entertaining, can't wait to read more. :joker:

[Kate!]

Thanks Dylan :)

More tomorrow. Wait till you read about the sheep! lol.

[King Gizzard]

The wisemen bring the gifts :hmph:

[Kate!]

Why do they sing "We Three Kings of Orient are" then?

lol.

wisemen can't afford gold, frankinsense and myrrh. :D

[Kate!]

Act 2 coming up shortly...........

[Kate!]

ACT 2


NARRATOR: The new day dawns. Mary and Joseph rise early to set out upon their journey. Joseph has bought a donkey named Lady Lee from a local merchant, as Mary is now almost ready to give birth (!!) and wouldn't be able to make the journey on foot. The Journey passes uneventfully, however both Mary and Joseph are exhausted upon reaching Bethlehem.

JOSEPH: Mary, my little sugar plum, I think you should rest here with Lady Lee. I will try to find somewhere for us to stay, we shall make the return trip tomorrow.

MARY: You are so thoughtful, sweetcheeks. I will wait under this shady tree with Lady Lee.

NARRATOR: Louise Cliffe pops her head out from behind the tree and shouts "Stop using that word. I'm not shady!!!!"

MARY: Could have sworn I heard something......oh well. :conf: Here Lady Lee, have a drink of water.

LADY LEE: Neigh, neigh, neiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhh! Brrrrrrrrrap.
(translation - I would rather have a double whisky)

NARRATOR: Joseph sets off to pay his taxes and then wanders around the town to the various inns and hostelries, however all are full up and there seems to be nowhere to stay. At one of the Inns, he hears loud singing...."We hear you knocking.....but you can't come in!". Joseph reaches the outskirts of town and approaches the last remaining Inn. He prays to God that he is fortunate enough to find a room for the night.

INNKEEPER: Good evening, young man. If you are looking for a place to stay, I am afraid all of our rooms are full.

JOSEPH: Oh dear. What am I to do? My wife is heavily pregnant, we can't possibly make the return journey tonight.

NARRATOR: Rosie, the Innkeeper's daughter, comes to the door.

ROSIE: Mother, what about the stable, stinks a bit but it is warm and dry. surely they could stay there for just one night?

INNKEEPER: Why of course, that would be fine. What is your name young man?

JOSEPH: I am Joseph Smith, a humble carpenter from Nazareth, and my wife is called Mary. We are travelling with our donkey, Lady Lee, if there would be enough room for the three of us?

INNKEEPER: Yes, we shall make do. Rosie will put some warm blankets and pillows in there for you, and attend to any other needs you may have.

ROSIE: (WINKS AT JOSEPH) I would be happy to oblige you, handsome one.

INNKEEPER: That's quite enough of that Rosie. Now, fetch your family and come inside Joseph, you must take some refreshment. My name is Miss Amelia Lily, you may call me Ammi if you like.

NARRATOR: Joseph and Mary enjoy a fine meal at the Locke Inn (see what I did there :D) before retiring to the stable for the night. Outside, a beautiful solitary Star twinkles in the dark, inky sky.

"Twinkle Twinkle Little Niamh
Fame and Fortune you'll achieve
in the dark of night you'll shine
then get drunk on Rose' wine"

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, in the stable..........

MARY: I'm having the baby now Joseph.

JOSEPH: Super, smashing, great. Good luck.

NARRATOR: Mary gives birth to a beautiful baby boy and wraps him tenderly in a fleecy blanket.

JOSEPH: He's gorgeous, a perfect little angel. I'm so proud. His name shall surely be Jesus, as God decreed, but to myself I shall think of him as "Smithy". My bonny boy.

MARY: It's almost as if he is trying to talk to us Joseph, I know it's not possible, but I could have sworn he just murmured "Gaga". Bless him.

NARRATOR: Baby Jesus "Smithy" Smith lets out a huge burp and snuffles contentedly in his crib. He is dreaming of a beautiful woman with blonde hair, dancing on a stage.

JOSEPH: Try and rest now Mary, it's going to be a long night.

[Jarrod]

AHAA! :'D This is Brilliant Kate :)

[Kate!]

thanks Jarrod :) I haven't quite finished Act two, bit more to type up, check back in a few mins when I have edited it :D

[Kate!]

Act three will be posted on Monday people :D

What are you liking most so far?

[Visage]

Ha ha !! This is fab Ice Skater.

http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Laughing/lol-016.gif

[Kate!]

Thanks Festive Visage :D

[Josy]

Brilliant!

but I could have sworn he just murmured "Gaga". Bless him.

:laugh3:

[Chuck]

I've just read both acts. It's brilliant, Kate :love:

[Kate!]

Aw thanks Josy and Chuck :)

Chuck, you made a perfect Petula, and Josy, you will be making your Angel debut soon!

[Lee.]

Kate, this is fantastic! I love how baby Jesus/Smithy murmured "gaga" :laugh:

[Kate!]

I like that bit too, couldnt resist, lol. hope Smithy likes it!

How do you feel about your donkey role? :D

[Lee.]

I love my donkey role! :amazed: Lady Lee is such a good name for a donkey... plus I'm now the only female tibber that can claim she has been ridden by Ben! :hugesmile:

[Pyramid*]

I love my donkey role! :amazed: Lady Lee is such a good name for a donkey... plus I'm now the only female tibber that can claim she has been ridden by Ben! :hugesmile:

*wonders what Santa will have to say about that* :suspect:



:D

Loving the 'gaga' bit. Very inventive!

[Kate!]

Next instalment about to be typed up :D

[Niamh.]

Yes, but this is Kate's nativity so she can do what she likes with it. xD

(Isn't just making Kate feel better because I'm a lead role) :p

I'm the Star of the show :idc:

[Niamh.]

The wisemen bring the gifts :hmph:

Why do they sing "We Three Kings of Orient are" then?

lol.

wisemen can't afford gold, frankinsense and myrrh. :D

They've been called kings and wise men :idc:

[Kate!]

ACT 3:SCENE 1

NARRATOR: God is delighted to hear his son has been born and summons his Angels to give them all tasks.

GOD: Holy Spirit, where are you?

HOLY SPIRIT: Here I am. I was just ironing my party dress, there's a big do tonight on Cloud 9.

GOD: Quite. Now, I need you to summon the 7 Angels of Serendipity please. I have work for them to do tonight.

HOLY SPIRIT: I'll round them up immediately, they will all be over at "Heavenly Hair" getting dolled up for the party. I will bring them here when they are done.

GOD: Fine, but hurry them up a little, I want this done before they start partying and getting all rowdy.

HOLY SPIRIT: OKILY DOKILY, keep your wig on! Toodle ooooo!

[Kate!]

ACT 3:SCENE 2

NARRATOR: The Angels are indeed all in the "Heavenly Hair" salon, all glammed up and looking beyootiful. Let me introduce them.......

Angel Mercy (Mollie) - purple wings. Mercy is an animal lover, very gentle and kind.
Angel Patience (Vicky) - lime green wings. Patience is a peacemaker, good at resolving disputes.
Angel Joy (Josy) - red wings. Joy is happy and cheerful, very warmhearted.
Angel Bliss (GypsyGoth) - golden wings. Bliss is very relaxed and spiritual, very intuitive.
Angel Grace (Kerry) - silver wings. Grace is a nightowl and quite the mother hen.
Angel Faith (Kazanne) - yellow wings. Faith is honest, true and straight talking.
Angel Hope (Ninastar) - bright blue wings. Hope is the sweetest, most innocent angel of all.

HOLY SPIRIT: Hello Angels, you all look very fetching I must say. God wants to see you all before the partying begins, he has errands for you to run.

ANGEL PATIENCE: Of course, we shall come straight away, we are finished here now.

NARRATOR: The other Angels all nod, giggle and smile, rising from their seats and shaking their wings.

ANGEL JOY: Let's go girls.......

ALL ANGELS: We're going out tonight.........

NARRATOR: The Angels sing a raucous rendition of Shania Twain's "Man I feel like a woman!"

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[Kate!]

They've been called kings and wise men :idc:

Aha! Oh well, we have both in this :D :joker:

[Kate!]

ACT 3:SCENE 3

NARRATOR: The Angels have arrived at the Pearly Gates. God buzzes them in.

GOD: Hello Angels, nice to see you.

ANGELS: Hello.

GOD: Fantastic news, my son has been born tonight, I need you to spread the word. Joy and Patience, please go tell the Wisemen. Hope and Grace, find the Shepherds and let them know. Mercy, Faith and Bliss, seek out the three Kings of Tibbsynia and inform them.

HOLY SPIRIT: When you are done, you can go to the party. Have a great time, but no shenanigans please. I haven't forgotten the last time, when the Celestial C.I.D. had to be called. It was an embarrassment. Now, off you go.






ACT FOUR tomorrow :)

[Ammi]

..a cross between Charlie's Angels and the Seven Dwarfs......very good Kate

[Visage]

Excellent Ice Skater..:dance:


beyootiful I love this word..:D

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

heavenly hair :love:

[Vicky.]

oh I'm acting as you? -takes off all my clothes and films myself pretending to be drunk and whispering- ;)

:amazed:

[Kate!]

I hope you like your Angel alter-ego Vicky!

[Vicky.]

Yeah great thanks :p

[Kate!]

Act 4 will be posted later this afternoon.

[Sticks]

It's cold here in the front lobby where we have been selling the tickets, the heater has just packed in

[Kate!]

- gets a thick woolly blanket, a new heater and a brandy for sticks, promotes him to assistant director -

[Benjamin]

but I could have sworn he just murmured "Gaga".

:laugh3:

I'm loving this story so far. :love:

I love my donkey role! :amazed: Lady Lee is such a good name for a donkey... plus I'm now the only female tibber that can claim she has been ridden by Ben! :hugesmile:

:suspect:

I grimaced the whole time and was thinking of Santa. ;)

[Kate!]

:laugh3:

I'm loving this story so far. :love:



:suspect:

I grimaced the whole time and was thinking of Santa. ;)

Knew you would like that bit heheh!

Haven't been able to post the next instalment yet, hopefully tomorrow :D

[Lee.]

:laugh3:

I'm loving this story so far. :love:



:suspect:

I grimaced the whole time and was thinking of Santa. ;)

:nono: Santa is mine!

[Kate!]

I will post the next installment soon, just doing a task for ICB at the moment, need to keep checking the thread :D

[Kate!]

Act 4: Scene 1:

NARRATOR: The Star is still twinkling brightly in the night sky, a glorious sight to behold. The Shepherds are tending the sheep in a field. The Angels are hoovering, oh no sorry, they are hovering, as yet unnoticed.

SHEPHERD 1: It's a cold night, for sure. Let's get this done lads, no point being out here longer than we have to, freezing our bollocks off.

SHEPHERD 2: Hey, watch your language, there are ladies present.

NARRATOR: Shepherd 2 nods towards Angels Hope and Grace, who are peeping out from behind a haystack.

SHEPHERD 3: Come on out then, let's have a look at ye...Oh my, not you two! It's ok lads, I've had dealings with these two before, and I wouldn't call them ladies.

NARRATOR: Shepherd 3 roars with laughter.

SHEPHERD 4: That's not very gentlemanly, my friend. What can we do for you two little darlings then (wiggles his big bushy eyebrows suggestively).

HOPE: we have tidings from God himself to impart to you.

GRACE: On this night, in a stable to the East, the son of God has been born to Mary. His name is Jesus.

HOPE: You must visit the child and pass on your good wishes to the family. Follow the Star, it will guide you to Bethlehem.

GRACE: Now we must depart.

SHEPHERD 1: Give us a kiss first.

HOPE: Certainly not! What kind of Angels do you take us for?

SHEPHERD 3: Fallen ones! (roars with laughter again).

NARRATOR: The Angels fly away and leave the Shepherds behind.

SHEPHERD 2: Right, let's nip to The Locke Inn, they're having a lock-in tonight.

SHEPHERD 4: A lock-in at The Locke Inn, how Spiffing.

SHEPHERD 1: What about the baby, we are meant to go and viist him?

SHEPHERD 3: Aye, let's have a pint or six first though eh?

NARRATOR: The Shepherds all link arms and mince off down the road to the Locke Inn.

[Kate!]

Act 4: Scene 2.

NARRATOR: The Sheep look at each other.

BOYD: Reet, they've gone. Stop eating that muck. I have some Weed that Flossie from t'farm gave me earlier, she's a grand lass that one.

FLOYD: Cracking stuff! Skin up boys.

NARRATOR: The Sheep pass a happy hour indulging and chatting about the meaning of life.

LLOYD: I'm feeling very mellow guize, is that Star winking at me?

SEBASTIAN: No! Don't be shilly. now shall we have a shing shong?

FLOYD: Yes, shall we do the usual routine?

BOYD: Ok, let's do it. I want to go first.....

NARRATOR: The Sheep begin to dance frantically round the field and Boyd starts to sing.

BOYD: "I come home, in the morning light, my daddy says 'what you gonna do with your life'? Oh daddy dear, we're not the fortunate one, and sheep just wanna have fun".

"They just a wanna (baa), just a wanna (baa), sheep just wanna have fun.
When the faaaarming day is done, oh sheep just wanna have fun..BAAAAA!"

UmzDyOAaRJE

FLOYD: "I belieeeeve in miracles, where you from, you sexy sheep. I believe in miracles, since you came along, you sexy sheep".

"Where did you come from, Babieeeeeeeee, how did you know I needed eeeewe".

LLOYD: "aahhh, aahhh, aaaahhh, aaaahhh, aaaah, aaah etc, Uptown Sheep, you know I can't afford to buy you a Jeep, but maybe someday when my tractor comes in, you'll understand what kind of Ram I've been, and then I'll win....She's my Uptown Sheeeeeep, yeah".

SEBASTIAN: "It's raining Sheep, Hallelujah, it's raining Sheep, oh YEAH! Imma gonna go out, Imma gonna get wet...Absolooootely soaking Pissed Wet, It's raining Sheep, yer!!!!!


act 5 tomorrow :D

[Kate!]

Act 5 probably going to be posted on Monday now :)

[fruit_cake]

wow, just read this, great play so far!! have to get the popcorn in the interval

[Visage]

Another cracking installment..:dance:

Loving the songs at the end too:laugh:

The Angels are hoovering.....:D

A lock-in at The Locke Inn, how Spiffing....:D

[Kate!]

Another cracking installment..:dance:

Loving the songs at the end too:laugh:

The Angels are hoovering.....:D

A lock-in at The Locke Inn, how Spiffing....:D

I am particularly proud of the Sheep, they are true Stars :D Brings tears to my eyes.

[Visage]

I am particularly proud of the Sheep, they are true Stars :D Brings tears to my eyes.

They are brilliant and I can picture them in those scenes singing and dancing away.

[Sticks]

Albatross!!!

http://sharetv.org/images/guide/295679.jpg

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[Kate!]

Are they good luck or bad?

[Doogle]

That was brilliant! :laugh2:

[Kate!]

Breaking news - The sheep have been spotted by a talent scout at todays matinee performance and are currently in talks to appear as regulars in the tv soap Emmerdale. Boyd, Lloyd, Floyd and Sebastian had this to say. Baaa ha ha!

Watch this space.

[Sticks]

That reminds me, I need to get some new mint sauce

[Kate!]

Outrageous!

cover your ears, my woolly little friends.

[Visage]

That reminds me, I need to get some new mint sauce

http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Laughing/lol-022.gif

Outrageous!

cover your ears, my woolly little friends.

http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Laughing/lol-026.gif

[Kate!]

next instalment to be posted tomorrow :)

[Kate!]

Act 5:Scene 1

NARRATOR: The Kings are in the Palace, counting their money while playing a card game and drinking Skittles Vodka. The Angels arrive and enter the room.

KING ANTONIUS: Wey hey, Women!

KING AARONIUS: Hello Poppets, to what do we owe the pleasure?

FAITH: We are here on an errand from God, he has asked us to tell you of the miraculous birth of his son this very night. You are to journey to Bethlehem to see him, and honour him with gifts. Follow the Star, she will guide you.

KING VICTORIUS: Right, what did we do with the Argos Catalogue, is it late night shopping tonight?

BLISS: No, No. You must take very special gifts, this child is very important.

KING AARONIUS: Never fear beautiful, we will make sure he gets the very best.

MERCY: Well, we must go, we have to get back for the party. Are you going to be there later, stud muffin?

NARRATOR: Mercy flutters her eyelashes at Aaronius.

KING AARONIUS: Sure will sweetcheeks, shall be there right after we've seen the sprog.

KING VICTORIUS (to Faith) Rip up your dance card baby, and save yourself for me.

FAITH: If you're lucky, I might consider it.

BLISS: Enough Flirting. Let's go.

[Kate!]

Act 5:Scene 2

NARRATOR: The Wisemen are on their way home after Bible Class. The Star is shining more brightly than ever.

ALVIN: So, I see my vision has come true. I dreamt we would see a beautiful Star tonight and we would follow it to a stable and pay homage to the newly born Son of God.

SIMON: Oh, Alvin. How wonderfully spiffing. What are we waiting for, let's go East!

THEODORE: Aw. look how pretty the Star is, I adore her, I have never seen a more beautiful vision. I am inspired to a poem.

"Hey little Star, up in the sky
twinkling away as time passes by
you look so cheerful and so merry
I bet you've been at the cooking sherry!"

SIMON and ALVIN: Come on Theo, let's get moving.

[Kate!]

Act 6:Scene 1

NARRATOR: Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus Smith are in the stable.

MARY: Joseph, how lucky we are. Look at the beautiful baby boy we have been blessed with.

JOSEPH: We will raise him to be a fine young man.

BABY JESUS: GOO GOO, GA GA, GA GAAAAAAAAA! (That's what you think. I am going to rebel, bleach my hair and work as a Gaga tribute act. Gaga rocks.)

NARRATOR: The stable door opens and in come the Shepherds, closely followed by the Sheep.

SHEEP: Baaaaaa.

SHEPHERD 1: Aaw, look at the lickle wickle cutesie baby.

BABY JESUS: Coooooo. (Feck off).

SHEPHERD 2: He's quite wrinkly isn't he?

SHEPHERD 3: Congratulations Mary, he's got his dad's cheeks.

MARY: You had better mean the ones on his face!

SHEPHERD 4: Bless his little cotton socks, let's sing him a lullaby.

NARRATOR: The Shepherds and Sheep gather round the crib and begin to sing.

"Away in a manger (Baa)
No crib for a bed (Baa)
the little Lord Smithy (Baa)
laid down his sweet head. (BAAAAAAA!)

The Star in the bright sky (Baa)
Looked down where he lay (Baa)
The little Lord Smithy (Baa)
Asleep in the hay. (BAAAAAA!)

[Kate!]

Act 6:Scene 2

NARRATOR: The Kings arrive, bearing gifts.

KING ANTONIUS: We have arrived, bearing gifts.

KING AARONIUS: From the Argos catalogue.

KING VICTORIUS: £500 WE SPENT!! £500!! :o

ALL KINGS: We're not shady!

MARY: Why, thank you so much.....Have you kept the receipts?

JOSEPH: MARY!!!! :shocked:

MARY: TSK. No harm in asking, they don't give a flying feck anyway, they are rich and powerful Kings.

KING ANTONIUS: Open them, OPEN THEM!

KING AARONIUS: Crikey Antonius old chap, you're very excitable lately.

KING VICTORIUS: He's been frisky ever since he met those fairies.

MARY: Fairies?! :suspect: Where? :amazed:

KING VICTORIUS: Oh no, not Fairies. Angels, that's what they were.

KING AARONIUS: I suspect he has a soft spot for that Mercy one, he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

NARRATOR: The Kings burst into song.

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KING ANTONIUS: I was looking at that little rat like dog that follows her around, think it's called Pissholes or sommat.

NARRATOR: The Kings sing another "classic"

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[Kate!]

Act 6:Scene 3

NARRATOR: The Wise Men arrive.

MARY: Oh no! Not more people! It's getting fat too crowded in here, and Smithy needs a bottle.

JOSEPH: Oh hai people. Gonna have to ask you all to leave. Too many people and sheep in a stable. Not great from a Health and Safety point of view.

NARRATOR: Local Lothario and Council Official Mario MunchButt walks in with a clipboard.

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MARIO: Who took my Hard Hat? :suspect:

JOSEPH: Could you all leave now please, but I would like to invite everyone to a proper Celebration Party at our house in Nazareth, in two nights time. Bring lots of food and drink and let's do it in style.

NARRATOR: Everyone claps, whoops and cheers.

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[Kate!]

Act 7:The Final Act will be posted tomorrow. Watch out for Piddles, he is going to get his revenge for the King's comments :D :D

[Maia]

SHEPHERD 2: Right, let's nip to The Locke Inn, they're having a lock-in tonight.

SHEPHERD 4: A lock-in at The Locke Inn, how Spiffing.

KING ANTONIUS: I was looking at that little rat like dog that follows her around, think it's called Pissholes or sommat.

:laugh2:

This is amazing Kate, looking forward to seeing Piddles getting his revenge for that awful remark.

[Pyramid*]

Is it just me or is interest in this waning just a little.......:conf:

[Kate!]

thanks Pyramid. Way to make me feel good. Lol. Just kidding.
There have only ever been a few people actively following it and commenting, though its view figures are reasonable. I don't mind really, if I entertain a handful of people with it, that is good enough for me. The comments I have had, have been lovely. Keep meaning to put in that picture you posted Pyramid, that was great. :) Made me chuckle.

[Pyramid*]

thanks Pyramid. Way to make me feel good. Lol. Just kidding.
There have only ever been a few people actively following it and commenting, though its view figures are reasonable. I don't mind really, if I entertain a handful of people with it, that is good enough for me. The comments I have had, have been lovely. Keep meaning to put in that picture you posted Pyramid, that was great. :) Made me chuckle.


Hey.....kidding or not: blame those who were scrambling to get a part and who can't be bothered to acknowledge it. Don't take it out on me!

[Kate!]

Omg. I cannot do anything right on here at the moment. I dont understand why you are taking offence.

1 I was joking, trying to be lighthearted.

2 I am not blaming anyone for anything, I just said I am happy with the positive comments I have got. I cant make people read it, if they want to they will. I sense you are irritated and dont know why? Sorry, but I feel like I am treading on eggshells all the time atm. Are you annoyed that people aren't reading this? Or at me?

3 I am not taking anything out on you? Puzzled? What on earth has given you that idea.

[MTVN]

Ok let's not argue in here please, I don't think Kate was taking anything out on you Pyramid, she said herself that she was only kidding

[Pyramid*]

Hey.....kidding or not: blame those who were scrambling to get a part and who can't be bothered to acknowledge it. Don't take it out on me!

Ok let's not argue in here please, I don't think Kate was taking anything out on you Pyramid, she said herself that she was only kidding

No argument here: as clearly denoted by the 'kidding or not'.

The point Kate was more that the thread appears to have died somewhat with only one or two others posting any acknowledgement on it in 12 days.

I'm certainly not irritated - I am however puzzled somewhat as to why - given that so many were jousting to take part. :conf: Hence the same :conf: being used in my original comment earlier.

[Kate!]

Final part will be posted tomorrow, I enjoyed writing it, the last scene will be very musical. :)

[Black Dagger]

Final part will be posted tomorrow, I enjoyed writing it, the last scene will be very musical. :)

Oooh wise decision, Joseph is has an adorable singing voice ;).

[Pyramid*]

thanks Pyramid. Way to make me feel good. Lol. Just kidding.
There have only ever been a few people actively following it and commenting, though its view figures are reasonable. I don't mind really, if I entertain a handful of people with it, that is good enough for me. The comments I have had, have been lovely. Keep meaning to put in that picture you posted Pyramid, that was great. :) Made me chuckle.

it was rather - shame that when I did actually put it on this very thread quite some time ago - bringing gifts for baby jesus - that it was deleted IIRC . :hugesmile:

[Sticks]

I'm still here

[Kate!]

Sends a big hug to Sticks

I never even saw it posted in here Pyra? wonder why it was deleted. Anyway Merry Christmas eve's eve's eve. lol. :D

[Kate!]

Act 7: The Finale

NARRATOR: Everyone is gathered at the home of Mary and Joseph. There is plenty of food and wine. The Sheep and Lady Lee are in the garden smoking (!!)

MARY: Joseph? What time did God and the Holy Spirit say they'd be here. They promised to bring their Karaoke machine.

JOSEPH: They just arrived, setting up now. Wooohoooh!

HOLY SPIRIT: HEY, IS THIS THING ON!!! oh, I see it is. TEE HEE! Right lads and lasses, get your requests in now. I want to see you all up here at some point tonight, no excuses.

NARRATOR: Baby Jesus Smith is upstairs in his crib fast asleep. The Angels have soundproofed his room so the party noise doesn't disturb him. He is in the middle of yet another pleasant dream about the blonde lady singer. He smiles in his sleep. Downstairs the party is in full swing, Mary's sister Petula has just arrived.

PETULA: I love the food Mary, gorgeous spread.

MARY: Yes, I nipped out to Iceland (other supermarkets are available) on Lady Lee this morning and bought up all the party food, and they delivered it as well.

PETULA: Smashing! Now, I must put my name down for that Karaoke.....

*************************************************

HOLY SPIRIT: First up, singing one of his favourites with his friend who is visiting for Christmas...it's the one and only God himself (no not you Benji, you are Mary, luvvie) and Mr Jam Butty from Lemon Tree Land. Yay!

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HOLY SPIRIT: Next.... Me!!! Yes, I, the Holy Spirit will be performing a very tasteful number.

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HS: Come on Joseph, let's see you shake your stuff......

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HS: here's a Madonna classic performed by Mary, how appropriate ;)

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HS: Beautiful Petula, it's your turn baby!

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HS: Time for some vocals from the three Kings.....

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HS: A three in one treat from the Kings there. They were magnificent. I have someone here who would like to say a few words.....

NARRATOR: Angel Mercy and Piddles take the "stage".

MERCY: This is my dog, Piddles.....not Pissholes!!!! He would just like to say that we have just been over to the Kings Palace and Piddles has left a lovely present for you all in your slippers. Still, I am sure you can afford new ones.:D

KINGS: :hmph::rolleyes:

MERCY: :joker::joker:

HS: OKAAAAY, and back to the music....Next we have our lovely hosts, Mary and Joseph performing a duet......

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HS: Wisemen....do your thang!

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HS: Bloody marvellous. Next it's the Shepherds.....

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HS: All the way from Bethlehem, Miss Amelia Lily - Innkeeper extraordinaire.

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HS: awesome, and now Rosie Lily, Amelia's daughter.....

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HS: Party people, please welcome to the "stage"....The Sheep!!!

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HS: Spiffing....Lady Lee, give us a tune.....

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HS: Well, I've certainly never seen anything like that before!! :o ..... Give a very warm welcome everyone, it's the Angels...

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HS: Aw, lovely stuff Angels :love: Now we have a very special song to finish with, this party wouldn't be taking place if it weren't for her helping everyone be where they should be for the Birth of Smithy Smith, the little cherub. A massive round of applause please....it's your Christmas Star....:cheer:

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HS: Give me the microphone, give it to me....that was fabulous darling, but we all have homes to go to. Everyone, come here and take a bow....Amazing Stuff.....

NARRATOR: The Holy Spirit wipes away a tear and takes a bow with everyone else. Merry Christmas Everyone, and A Happy New Year :love:

END!!!!

[Kate!]

Actually not quite the end........

Fast forward 15 years, Baby Jesus Smithy Smith is at the Locke Inn taking part in a karaoke night.

Here is his performance.......

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Audience reaction:thumbs::thumbs::flower::love::banana::flo wers::flowers::cheer2:

[Ammi]

Haha...I love my song Kate, how clever.....You've done really well to write this at such a hectic time....well done!!!!!
Have a lovely Christmas

[Kate!]

Aw thanks Ammi :)

Tried to tailor the songs to the "actors" as much as possible hence why I did the What would you sing on Karaoke thread ;)

Merry Christmas x

[Shaun]

Great stuff, Kate, thanks for posting this :)

[Kate!]

Thank you.

Edit: That means a lot to me actually.

[Kate!]

who was/were your favourite characters in this, just out of interest?

[Ammi]

who was/were your favourite characters in this, just out of interest?

Ammi the Innkeeper was awesome......very underrated

[Kate!]

:) I have heard on the grapevine that Ammi the Innkeeper has been approached by Sir Lloyd Webber to star in a new rock musical, after her impressive karaoke performance. :D

[Kate!]

Just re-read this thread. I had such fun writing this. Good times.

See ya later.

[Kate!]

Just re-read this thread. I had such fun writing this. Good times.

See ya later.