If Gareth is so perfect, why did he marry a woman when he was gay?

[The Penguin]

I'm not saying he had to come out, I can understand why in the world of rugby he might have felt pressured to stay in the closet but to go as far as marrying a woman is just wrong. You don't HAVE to marry a woman to prove you aren't gay. That's no excuse. He basically ruined someones life by faking a marriage. He could have simply not told people he is gay. Getting married isn't a necessary step to hide your sexuality. He is basically a selfish person. None of the other housemates apart from maybe Natasha had done anything that bad. People seem to forget that.

[Bluerang1]

I guess.

[daniel-lewis-1985]

I'm not saying he had to come out, I can understand why in the world of rugby he might have felt pressured to stay in the closet but to go as far as marrying a woman is just wrong. You don't HAVE to marry a woman to prove you aren't gay. That's no excuse. He basically ruined someones life by faking a marriage. He could have simply not told people he is gay. Getting married isn't a necessary step to hide your sexuality. He is basically a selfish person. None of the other housemates apart from maybe Natasha had done anything that bad. People seem to forget that.

He got married because he thought he could "change" and wanted to be normal ie: get married to a woman and have kids.

It wasnt selfish it was desperation.

He did not ruin his wifes life and they are still best friends.

[Jords]

Maybe he didnt know? Thought he was bi? Couldnt seperate immense love of his friendship with her and romantic feelings? Thought he could change? Became gay? :worship:

[joeysteele]

Many gay men, particularly in Sport or the public eye marry as only a cover in the main.In the end it clearly cannot work and eventually they have to let their true leanings be known.

It is not wrong though to attempt to appear to have that heterosexual lifestyle but once they realise it is not for them then the trauma to set the record straight must be immense.
Understanding and support is what's needed and clearly Gareth rightly had both once he needed it.

[daniel-lewis-1985]

You have to be selfish sometimes aswell if it means being happy

[Locke.]

Don't know, watch his movie that's coming out staring Mickey Rourke and I guess we'll find out - http://www.mirror.co.uk/mobile/topsport/2011/11/29/movie-star-mickey-rourke-set-to-play-gareth-thomas-on-the-big-screen-115875-23595962/

Filming or anything hasn't started yet, would be pretty good if his Big Brother experience was involved somehow, but I guess it will end just after he comes out

[The Penguin]

Don't know, watch his movie that's coming out staring Mickey Rourke and I guess we'll find out - http://www.mirror.co.uk/mobile/topsport/2011/11/29/movie-star-mickey-rourke-set-to-play-gareth-thomas-on-the-big-screen-115875-23595962/

Filming or anything hasn't started yet, would be pretty good if his Big Brother experience was involved somehow, but I guess it will end just after he comes out

I think I'll pass

[aj2463]

I've been thinking the same. Yes it was hard for him and yes he was brave to come out but no one thinks about his ex-wife even if they are still friends, they went out since high school, its a long time to then turn around and say I'm gay.

[The Penguin]

and coming out at the end of his career isn't exactly as inspiring as coming out during his career
he didn't exactly play that many games as an openly gay player
if some young up and coming rugby player is gay, he isn't exactly going to be instilled with confidence by Gareth coming out when he was an established popular successful player at the end of his career
I think he's a fraud who is given too much credit simply because he's an openly gay rugby player

[MTVN]

Gareth's wife was thankful he told her when he did:

When Gareth told me he was gay, it felt like a complete catastrophe, as if my whole world had caved in. But I will always be grateful to him for telling me the truth when he did. He could have waited until I was 50 or 60, when it would have been very hard for me to start over on my own again. But he loved me so much he wanted me to have a second chance, while I was still young enough to take it.

http://sports.rightpundits.com/?p=5881

[daniel-lewis-1985]

and coming out at the end of his career isn't exactly an inspiring as coming out during his career
he didn't exactly play that many games as an openly gay player
if some young up and coming rugby player is gay, he isn't exactly going to be instilled with confidence by Gareth coming out when he was an established popular successful player at the end of his career
I think he's a fraud who is given too much credit simply because he's an openly gay rugby player

You just answered your own question in relation to him not coming out sooner due to his career.

Hes not a fraud and his wife loves him as does everyone around him even the housemates who leave all say they want him to win.

I dont think he would really give a **** what you think, hes happy and can finally be himself.

[iRyan]

My dad is gay and came out to my mom while they were married. So I understand where Gareth is coming from.

[pinkpanther]

in this case I am a feminist and my only sympathy is for the wife who didnt seem to know about all this and his boyfriends until the book came out. is a bi man cheating on his wife then releasing it in a serialisation of a book any better than a hetrosexual eprson cheating on his wife? is he that much different to tiger woods?

[pinkpanther]

despite this I think alfie has overall been excellent and hes my second favourite to win behind the superstar michael madsen

[rSlavenx]

Don't think thats a fair argument. There could be many factors, he could have been confused, he could have been straight and started to think differently.

[Livia]

This thread says more about the immaturity of the original poster than it does about Gareth's sexuality and marriage. If you have to ask the question, you're not capable of understanding the answer.

[The Penguin]

This thread says more about the immaturity of the original poster than it does about Gareth's sexuality and marriage. If you have to ask the question, you're not capable of understanding the answer.

What are you talking about? My comments are exactly what any reasonable person would say about this situation if it was an unknown person. Just because everyone like him and thinks he's a nice person, they aren't being objective.

If one of your friends told you about a gay person they work with doing the same thing as Gareth did - marrying a woman for 8 years, cheating on her and then making a hollywood film about it, what would your reaction be? I think it's fair to say that most people would see that as completely unacceptable behaviour. So why is there a different reaction for Gareth for doing the exact same thing? Just because you think he's lovely in the BB house? Someones behaviour over two weeks in a televised house is not a true reflection of their personality. Their major life decisions are a true indicator of their character. And on that basis, Gareth is a selfish image obsessed opportunist.

[dyfed]

I'm not saying he had to come out, I can understand why in the world of rugby he might have felt pressured to stay in the closet but to go as far as marrying a woman is just wrong. You don't HAVE to marry a woman to prove you aren't gay. That's no excuse. He basically ruined someones life by faking a marriage. He could have simply not told people he is gay. Getting married isn't a necessary step to hide your sexuality. He is basically a selfish person. None of the other housemates apart from maybe Natasha had done anything that bad. People seem to
forget that.

This is such a sad message to read,there are many who have tried to go the conventional way and suppress their feelings,he isn't the first to do this and not the last,it is the society we live in that puts pressure on gays to be something that their not,compassion is a wonderful word,I have dear friends who are gays who will be celebrating 30 years together,longer then most marriage's last !!! it isn't a easy road .

[Jesus.]

I'm not saying he had to come out, I can understand why in the world of rugby he might have felt pressured to stay in the closet but to go as far as marrying a woman is just wrong. You don't HAVE to marry a woman to prove you aren't gay. That's no excuse. He basically ruined someones life by faking a marriage. He could have simply not told people he is gay. Getting married isn't a necessary step to hide your sexuality. He is basically a selfish person. None of the other housemates apart from maybe Natasha had done anything that bad. People seem to forget that.

I think he did it solely and specifically to get to you.

[chuff me dizzy]

A lot of gay people get married ,mainly for their families ,I know 2 gay men who both got married and have sons, Gareth is a good person ,and him trying marriage is not a sin

[dyfed]

Feminist today do nothing to help women...

[HBB1508]

What are you talking about? My comments are exactly what any reasonable person would say about this situation if it was an unknown person. Just because everyone like him and thinks he's a nice person, they aren't being objective.

If one of your friends told you about a gay person they work with doing the same thing as Gareth did - marrying a woman for 8 years, cheating on her and then making a hollywood film about it, what would your reaction be? I think it's fair to say that most people would see that as completely unacceptable behaviour. So why is there a different reaction for Gareth for doing the exact same thing? Just because you think he's lovely in the BB house? Someones behaviour over two weeks in a televised house is not a true reflection of their personality. Their major life decisions are a true indicator of their character. And on that basis, Gareth is a selfish image obsessed opportunist.

I actually work with a gay man who was married for over ten years and has three lovely children we have spoken in depth about what he went through trying to conform and being trapped living a lie just to please other people - I feel sorry that you think everything should be black and white in life. I have a lot of respect for what Gareth has done it takes guts to end a marriage and announce to the world you are gay (and worse if you are in the public eye and in a very "male" dominated profession). I don't find it unacceptable behaviour nor selfish - I just hope you never have to face a similar situation or if you do people aren't so judgemental about your actions.

[Razor]

What a stupid thread.

[daniel-lewis-1985]

in this case I am a feminist and my only sympathy is for the wife who didnt seem to know about all this and his boyfriends until the book came out. is a bi man cheating on his wife then releasing it in a serialisation of a book any better than a hetrosexual eprson cheating on his wife? is he that much different to tiger woods?

He is not bi he is gay and yes it is totally different.

[Livia]

What are you talking about? My comments are exactly what any reasonable person would say about this situation if it was an unknown person. Just because everyone like him and thinks he's a nice person, they aren't being objective.

If one of your friends told you about a gay person they work with doing the same thing as Gareth did - marrying a woman for 8 years, cheating on her and then making a hollywood film about it, what would your reaction be? I think it's fair to say that most people would see that as completely unacceptable behaviour. So why is there a different reaction for Gareth for doing the exact same thing? Just because you think he's lovely in the BB house? Someones behaviour over two weeks in a televised house is not a true reflection of their personality. Their major life decisions are a true indicator of their character. And on that basis, Gareth is a selfish image obsessed opportunist.

No, it's what someone too young to understand the complexities of relationships and the acceptance of your own sexuality, whatever it may be, would say.

I have lots of gay friends. A couple of them were married, many of them had relationships with the opposite sex before they came out. I don't particularly think Gareth is lovely, I have no strong feelings about him either way. I do, however, think your wild summing up of his past garnered from the little bit you know about him shows you up to be very young, or very immature, or both. That's not a criticism, we were all naive once.

[daniel-lewis-1985]

What are you talking about? My comments are exactly what any reasonable person would say about this situation if it was an unknown person. Just because everyone like him and thinks he's a nice person, they aren't being objective.

If one of your friends told you about a gay person they work with doing the same thing as Gareth did - marrying a woman for 8 years, cheating on her and then making a hollywood film about it, what would your reaction be? I think it's fair to say that most people would see that as completely unacceptable behaviour. So why is there a different reaction for Gareth for doing the exact same thing? Just because you think he's lovely in the BB house? Someones behaviour over two weeks in a televised house is not a true reflection of their personality. Their major life decisions are a true indicator of their character. And on that basis, Gareth is a selfish image obsessed opportunist.

Yes people do judge when they dont know all the facts...On this occasion though we are fully aware of the facts and his mwife has spoken out stating she is thankful he told her and they are still best friends so that should stop your irrational name calling in its tracks.

Unfortunatly some people (ahem you) will still judge the situation as if its black and white which is just wrong.

[Tree-Of-Temptation]

Because he didn't want to be gay, he used to pray to be straight.

[Marc]

Wow... this thread is beyond.. wow..

Firstly, who said he was perfect?

Secondly, are you really that uneducated about the world that you would create such a retarded thread about something you don't understand. Try to understand the fact the guy had troubles with his sexuality and his life first before deciding to show your ignorance on here. :bored:

[Black Dagger]

I'm sorry, but coming out as gay is the hardest thing to do in the world, show some respect, he thought he could get married and fall in love with a woman and it turned out he couldn't, he wanted to lead a 'normal life' as a straight man.

[pinkpanther]

Feminist today do nothing to help women...

nor men...these femininists so called...especially the radical ones...are simply self serving often with selfish agendas...if we want equal opportunity lets have it for all...including men ....the elderly and the disabled too

[pinkpanther]

I'm sorry, but coming out as gay is the hardest thing to do in the world, show some respect, he thought he could get married and fall in love with a woman and it turned out he couldn't, he wanted to lead a 'normal life' as a straight man.

no its not at all, stop being hysterical (no offence)
its not as hard as returning from war with your legs blown off or suffering an incurable disease or any major health problem or losing a loved one or going bankrupt etc

everyone in wales knew he was gay for years and years and no one gave a hoot....he just exploited it for commercial purposes and revealed how many times hed cheated on his wife with me and also revealed personal stuff about his wife in his book which imho was out of order. his wife I could cry for. anyway just like the giggs situation who also allegedly had more than 1 lover on the go, theyre both decent people who made mistakes and I just hope they can now rebuild their relationships, and carry on with their careers and settle down and be happy

[Toxic]

I'm not saying he had to come out, I can understand why in the world of rugby he might have felt pressured to stay in the closet but to go as far as marrying a woman is just wrong. You don't HAVE to marry a woman to prove you aren't gay. That's no excuse. He basically ruined someones life by faking a marriage. He could have simply not told people he is gay. Getting married isn't a necessary step to hide your sexuality. He is basically a selfish person. None of the other housemates apart from maybe Natasha had done anything that bad. People seem to forget that.

What a low level of dignity you have sunk to just to turn people agaisnt a favourite.

The issue you have brought up to try and make him look back is a very sensitive and complicated issue, which he has explained in many interviews in the past. Even his ex wife thinks the world of him still and holds no grudges, you have no idea about that particular situation and for you to bring that up as a smear campaign is awful.

[pinkpanther]

I dont however agree with the poster who says he faked a marriage thats ott although the fact he was allegedly cheating for years during the marriage was totally unfair on his long suffering wife. she deserves the sympathy and the rewards not him

[Livia]

no its not at all, stop being hysterical (no offence)................

Just for my own interest... can I ask how old you are, pinkpanther?

[daniel-lewis-1985]

no its not at all, stop being hysterical (no offence)
its not as hard as returning from war with your legs blown off or suffering an incurable disease or any major health problem or losing a loved one or going bankrupt etc

everyone in wales knew he was gay for years and years and no one gave a hoot....he just exploited it for commercial purposes and revealed how many times hed cheated on his wife with me and also revealed personal stuff about his wife in his book which imho was out of order. his wife I could cry for. anyway just like the giggs situation who also allegedly had more than 1 lover on the go, theyre both decent people who made mistakes and I just hope they can now rebuild their relationships, and carry on with their careers and settle down and be happy

Actually coming out as gay can be as hard as any of those things. How many cases have there been where men and boys have killed themselves for not being able to accept being gay.

Oh and not as bad as going bankrupt? HAHAHA thats ridiculous! How can you compare hating the person you are and praying to god to cure you to money? :rolleyes:

I can honestly say for me coming out as gay was the most traumatic thing i and ever will experience...Worse then finding out i had epilepsy,worse then the death of my Grand father and i absolutley 100% disagree with you.

I grew up in a small village in Wales and trust me its not easy to come out to your friends who all play rugby and talk non stop about pussy and there are still some people i havnt told and probably never will.

PS: Are you saying you slept with him?

[aj2463]

I agree with, well everyone in a different way. Coming out would be hard being married and being a rugby player and all, and some of you are saying he wanted to get married and fall in love with a woman and try to be straight, but for 8 years? Its a long time to drag someone through a lie like that. And i know his wife and him are friends now and whatever but put yourself in her position for a minute. Did he really cheat on her though? I've never heard that :shocked:

[boomoo]

in this case I am a feminist and my only sympathy is for the wife who didnt seem to know about all this and his boyfriends until the book came out. is a bi man cheating on his wife then releasing it in a serialisation of a book any better than a hetrosexual eprson cheating on his wife? is he that much different to tiger woods?

There is no real difference. The laws have all been changed so I dont see why people 'have to come out'. I dont want to know what other people are doing in their sexual life. Why do newspapers write as if it is some kind of scandal?

[Ithinkiloveyoutoo]

My understanding is that he did love that woman (still in his life I think) and he didn't want to be gay. He thought the power of the pussy would stop him craving penis but it didn't. :(

Freddie mercury also married a woman before being fully gay and she remained his best friend till the end. :(

[dyfed]

Actually coming out as gay can be as hard as any of those things. How many cases have there been where men and boys have killed themselves for not being able to accept being gay.

Oh and not as bad as going bankrupt? HAHAHA thats ridiculous! How can you compare hating the person you are and praying to god to cure you to money? :rolleyes:

I can honestly say for me coming out as gay was the most traumatic thing i and ever will experience...Worse then finding out i had epilepsy,worse then the death of my Grand father and i absolutley 100% disagree with you.

I grew up in a small village in Wales and trust me its not easy to come out to your friends who all play rugby and talk non stop about pussy and there are still some people i havnt told and probably never will.

PS: Are you saying you slept with him?
I am welsh but have not lived in Wales for many years,I know the stigma that is given to gays when you live in a small community,I can't even begin to imagine what you personally went through,please know Daniel there are people in this world who will except you for who you are,and that includes this senior citizen.:xyxwave::thumbs:

[Livia]

I am welsh but have not lived in Wales for many years,I know the stigma that is given to gays when you live in a small community,I can't even begin to imagine what you personally went through,please know Daniel there are people in this world who will except you for who you are,and that includes this senior citizen.:xyxwave::thumbs:

Oh dyfed... I have been a critic of yours on this forum, but that is a really nice post. And Daniel, dyfed is not alone in his thinking.

[dyfed]

I agree with, well everyone in a different way. Coming out would be hard being married and being a rugby player and all, and some of you are saying he wanted to get married and fall in love with a woman and try to be straight, but for 8 years? Its a long time to drag someone through a lie like that. And i know his wife and him are friends now and whatever but put yourself in her position for a minute. Did he really cheat on her though? I've never heard that :shocked:
I guess we should all try and walk a mile in his shoes........If she has no grudge,why should we.
Eight years....I have known gays who have refused to come out their whole life for fear of repercussions to them and their family,..remember this is not a big city he lived in where you maybe more excepted.

[daniel-lewis-1985]

There is no real difference. The laws have all been changed so I dont see why people 'have to come out'. I dont want to know what other people are doing in their sexual life. Why do newspapers write as if it is some kind of scandal?

People do have to come out to be able to live their lives normally. Its not just about sex, its about being honest with everyone about who you are.

[daniel-lewis-1985]

I am welsh but have not lived in Wales for many years,I know the stigma that is given to gays when you live in a small community,I can't even begin to imagine what you personally went through,please know Daniel there are people in this world who will except you for who you are,and that includes this senior citizen.:xyxwave::thumbs:

I think i just fell in love with you :thumbs:

[dyfed]

I think i just fell in love with you :thumbs:
Too sweet....:kiss:

[Jezzy]

everyone in wales knew he was gay for years and years and no one gave a hoot....he just exploited it for commercial purposes and revealed how many times hed cheated on his wife with me

Cheated on his wife with YOU? Really?

[dyfed]

Oh dyfed... I have been a critic of yours on this forum, but that is a really nice post. And Daniel, dyfed is not alone in his thinking.
I knew the day would come when we would agree on something and something more important then a reality show.:thumbs:
:cheer2::cheer2::cheer2:

[Lostie!]

So, the OP is a spurned lover of Gareth's. Explains it all. :D

[daniel-lewis-1985]

So, the OP is a spurned lover of Gareth's. Explains it all. :D

He hasnt answered our question though lol so apparently he has slept with Gareth.

Hes active on the forum at the moment so is clearly avoiding this thread now