Polyandry

[Benjamin]

What is your view on it?

[Z]

Thought his marriage to Jordan was a bit of a sham but his music's alright and I'm jealous of his tan like

[Kizzy]

I hope this isnt about the abomination that is andre?.....

[MTVN]

Doesn't really bother me if they're all fine with it :shrug:

Thought his marriage to Jordan was a bit of a sham but his music's alright and I'm jealous of his tan like

:joker:

[swinearefine]

I think polyamory is natural and makes people happier. I don't see why you should be limited to one sexual partner or life partner or whatever.

[King Gizzard]

Not for me

[Ammi]

..Life is complicated enough

[Niamh.]

If other people are happy with it fair enough but it definitely wouldn't be for me, I'm far too jealous and I don't like to share.

[fruit_cake]

it's a great idea, you could have one husband for every day of the week, but actually probably, you'd miss out on lots of nice little bits too thinking about it

[Niamh.]

I don't see how you could really have a proper marriage anyway with more than one husband tbh

[fruit_cake]

I don't see how you could really have a proper marriage anyway with more than one husband tbh

Why not? what's right for one person isn't necessarily right for another. I guess it depends on what kind of person those involved are. I do think it's a bit authoritarian for a society to make it illegal. If people want to do that, that's upto them imo.

[InOne]

Would get pretty jealous I'd imagine

[fruit_cake]

there'd probably be quite a lot of sex involved for the woman, unless the husbands were a-sexual or gay

[InOne]

No wonder you like the idea :evilgrin:

[Niamh.]

Why not? what's right for one person isn't necessarily right for another. I guess it depends on what kind of person those involved are. I do think it's a bit authoritarian for a society to make it illegal. If people want to do that, that's upto them imo.

It wouldn't be my idea of a what proper marriage is, should I say. My idea of a proper marriage is having your husband (along with your kids) as your no.1 priority, that would be impossible if you had more than one husband. Marriage takes work, time and effort and I don't see how you could make more than one of those work properly at the same time, not in what I'd consider to be a good marriage anyway. It sounds to me like it's more of a sexual thing rather than a proper relationship.

[Ammi]

..If people don't want the exclusivity of a marriage then they don't have to get married..they can have as many partners or relationships as they wish..everybody already has that freedom.
Imo, marriage is an exclusive commitment between two people to love and care for each other...'forsaking all others'
Polygamy is associated and accepted in some cultures...and that is fine because it is their culture and falls in line with their beliefs....I don't think it works to 'pick and choose'...mixing and matching parts of different cultures...and for what reason..
Polygamy is not part of our culture....and I'm quite happy about that

[Jessica.]

If other people are happy with it fair enough but it definitely wouldn't be for me, I'm far too jealous and I don't like to share.

Same.

[Livia]

..If people don't want the exclusivity of a marriage then they don't have to get married..they can have as many partners or relationships as they wish..everybody already has that freedom.
Imo, marriage is an exclusive commitment between two people to love and care for each other...'forsaking all others'
Polygamy is associated and accepted in some cultures...and that is fine because it is their culture and falls in line with their beliefs....I don't think it works to 'pick and choose'...mixing and matching parts of different cultures...and for what reason..
Polygamy is not part of our culture....and I'm quite happy about that

Pretty much what I was going to say, but probably better put.

[fruit_cake]

No wonder you like the idea :evilgrin:

hahahah, not quite what I had in mind :tongue:

I'm not saying I'd personally choose to do it and I suppose marriages do need work and stuff like that, but some people seem wired to not be consumed by just one relationship, and I don't mean just in a sexual way, or even in a sexual way at all.

It seems to me that everybody has sides to themselves that are developed to their potential better with different people. Sometimes that is purely sexual but that's just a small part of any relationship, and conversely, often monogamous relationships between lovers or even just between friends can become very unhealthy and obsessional tbf... and completely unproductive and damaging for the individuals involved. Not everything is rosy on either side as far as I can see.

It may not be morally above board in today's societies but it shouldn't be illegal imo. I think people need freedom to choose their own lifestyles and this would be one of those freedoms :blush:

[Niamh.]

hahahah, not quite what I had in mind :tongue:

I'm not saying I'd personally choose to do it and I suppose marriages do need work and stuff like that, but some people seem wired to not be consumed by just one relationship, and I don't mean just in a sexual way, or even in a sexual way at all.

It seems to me that everybody has sides to themselves that are developed to their potential better with different people. Sometimes that is purely sexual but that's just a small part of any relationship, and conversely, often monogamous relationships between lovers or even just between friends can become very unhealthy and obsessional tbf... and completely unproductive and damaging for the individuals involved. Not everything is rosy on either side as far as I can see.

It may not be morally above board in today's societies but it shouldn't be illegal imo. I think people need freedom to choose their own lifestyles and this would be one of those freedoms :blush:

I understand what you're saying and that's fine but why the need to get married at all in that case? Why not just have different partners? It kind of defeats the whole purpose of marriage if you ask me and lessons what our society considers marriage to be. Also, I don't know how good it would be to bring children into that kind of situation either.

[fruit_cake]

I understand what you're saying and that's fine but why the need to get married at all in that case? Why not just have different partners? It kind of defeats the whole purpose of marriage if you ask me and lessons what our society considers marriage to be. Also, I don't know how good it would be to bring children into that kind of situation either.

um..I guess the need to marry binds those individuals into a relationship that they can't just treat as a 'throw away' relationship. I'd assume they'd all live together or at the very least some of them would live together and they would have some binding things that weren't just 'get up and walk away', just as any marriage would have.

I do share concerns with children, but maybe that depends again on how responsible those involved in the relationship are rather than the relationship style itself. Should lesbians or gays not be able to bring up children? I don't know but I really dislike that the state is making up our minds for us.

As long as there are no parties being hurt, then why should people not be able to live polyandric lives? or indeed any other frowned upon lifestyle for example gay or lesbian marriage?

Polygamous relationships have worked in many societies for years, so I don't see why polyandric ones potentially couldn't do the same. :shrug:

[Niamh.]

um..I guess the need to marry binds those individuals into a relationship that they can't just treat as a 'throw away' relationship. I'd assume they'd all live together or at the very least some of them would live together and they would have some binding things that weren't just 'get up and walk away', just as any marriage would have.

I do share concerns with children, but maybe that depends again on how responsible those involved in the relationship are rather than the relationship style itself. Should lesbians or gays not be able to bring up children? I don't know but I really dislike that the state is making up our minds for us.

As long as there are no parties being hurt, then why should people not be able to live polyandric lives? or indeed any other frowned upon lifestyle for example gay or lesbian marriage?

Polygamous relationships have worked in many societies for years, so I don't see why polyandric ones potentially couldn't do the same. :shrug:

Well, for me marriage is making a full commitment to one person and one person only. Making that commitment to more than one person lessons the original commitment imo. Gays and lesbians are still only committing to one person if they decide to get married.

It's fine to say as long as no parties are being hurt but I think the children are being put in a confusing and not as a stable family unit by having their mother married to multiple people and there is surely issues of jealousy from both the husbands and the children too.

I know other societies have this tradition in their society but usually those societies don't see women as equals as our society does.

[Jords]

Marriage = 1 + 1

Shouldnt be allowed, takes away what the tradition is about.
And if its with brothers thats distrubing...

[Ammi]

I don't know how well polyandry or polygamy work..as it isn't my culture nor is it familiar to me..and I have no interest in researching it. Imo it's not a good idea to attempt to introduce 'bits' of other cultures into yours unless it is beneficial to the majority and for very good reason..and although there may be some who would apprecaite it..I doubt it would be a majority. Our culture supports a single life partner and..although everything has flaws..on the whole..I think it works
..it makes no matter whether it be same sex partners..they are still exclusive to each other and form a family unit.
There are many aspects and tradition to other cultures..which, although I respect...I would not want to practise myself

[Ammi]

Marriage = 1 + 1

Shouldnt be allowed, takes away what the tradition is about.
And if its with brothers thats distrubing...


LOL..I think I would agree with that...but maybe in some cultures...it's accepted

[Jords]

LOL..I think I would agree with that...but maybe in some cultures...it's accepted

I find it very odd cant see the appeal at all???
And you know 3's a crowd and shes gonna prefer 1 at least a little more than the other. Paranoia would be crazy amongst the men :laugh:

[Niamh.]

I find it very odd cant see the appeal at all???
And you know 3's a crowd and shes gonna prefer 1 at least a little more than the other. Paranoia would be crazy amongst the men :laugh:

Exactly, that's human nature

[Roy Mars III]

There is nothing wrong with polygamy if everyone is consenting.

[Ammi]

..well..I can't see that you can 'go against the grain' of everything marriage has stood for....I'm sure there are communes that would rejoice it..but I don't think there's much 'demand'

[Livia]

Well I think it should be encouraged, at least in a couple of years we can watch them all on Jeremy Kyle telling us how it all went so terribly wrong.

[Ammi]

Well I think it should be encouraged, at least in a couple of years we can watch them all on Jeremy Kyle telling us how it all went so terribly wrong.

LOL..we see that now..and it's pretty dull
..there's only one thing worse than seeing girls making a bad choice in men...making several

[Benjamin]

Well I think it should be encouraged, at least in a couple of years we can watch them all on Jeremy Kyle telling us how it all went so terribly wrong.

I concur. :laugh:

[Bollo]

If everyone involved is fully consenting I don't see the problem.

But I saw a documentary where it is part of their custom in a small village in India. The women had to marry the brother/s of their husband so that the brother/s could ensure he inherited part of the family land or something, the women didn't seem all that happy.

[Josy]

Each to their own but for me marraige is about caring so much for one person that you want to devote your life to them.

[King Gizzard]

That was beautiful, Josy

[Josy]

I know

[Jessica.]

How do they not get really jealous? I wouldn't cope at all if my husband had more than one wife, I would be way too jealous and I wouldn't want more than one husband either. :conf2:

[King Gizzard]

They'll say they wont but they secretly will get jealous

[Jessica.]

They'll say that wont but they secretly will get jealous

I saw a documentary before, about a guy who was married to twin women, they would take turns sharing the bed and they admitted separately that they did get jealous of their twin. D:

[King Gizzard]

One of them is probably dead now

[swinearefine]

I understand what you're saying and that's fine but why the need to get married at all in that case? Why not just have different partners? It kind of defeats the whole purpose of marriage if you ask me and lessons what our society considers marriage to be. Also, I don't know how good it would be to bring children into that kind of situation either.

Different people think marriage serves different purposes. I don't think marriage should exist at all, at least in a legal sense; I don't see why the government has to get involved in people's lives and dictate what can and can not be considered marriage... it just causes discrimination and unnecessary debating.

Really the purpose of marriage until recently was not about love, anyway, but more about money and power. I think it's a good thing that the purpose of marriage is evolving. Getting stuck in traditions can lead to very bad results.

Regarding children, I think they are able to grow up perfectly well in a multitude of atypical situations. I can't think of anything wrong with having a lot of people love and care for you.

[MTVN]

I don't really get the argument that it defeats the purpose of marriage or the tradition of it or whatever, marriage has always meant different things to different people and to different cultures, polygamy existed as the norm for marital relationships for centuries in a lot countries, and it still is for some people. The definition or perception of marriage isn't necessarily absolute or static, just ask the people campaigning for gay marriage

[lostalex]

I don't have a problem with it when it's an equal relationship between consenting adults.

BUT I think most polygamous relationships involve girls/women being forced into it and brainwashed and it's more to do with religion than being free sexually. They are most common in the middle east and africa where young girls are forced to marry much older men.

Girls/women are seen as a burden on their families so they are pressurred or forced into these marriages. As the man get's older and wealthier he just collects more and more young wives. Also wives in these countries are basically just servants and sex slaves. I don't like that.

[Niamh.]

I don't have a problem with it when it's an equal relationship between consenting adults.

BUT I think most polygamous relationships involve girls/women being forced into it and brainwashed and it's more to do with religion than being free sexually. They are most common in the middle east and africa where young girls are forced to marry much older men.

Girls/women are seen as a burden on their families so they are pressurred or forced into these marriages. As the man get's older and wealthier he just collects more and more young wives. Also wives in these countries are basically just servants and sex slaves. I don't like that.

Yeah, exactly Alex, I'm not an expert on the subject by any means but from what I can gather most of these countries that have these type of marriages are ones where women are not equals to men.

[fruit_cake]

The one pervading evil of democracy is the tyranny of the majority
—The History of Freedom in Antiquity, 1877

I think this applies here. Just because probably more people morally object to polyandry than don't, does not mean it should be illegal. Neither does the fact that in some cases it hasn't worked (like those Alex refers to) mean it should be illegal. You can say the same about gay or lesbian marriage. Just because the majority probably oppose it for moral reasons, does not make it wrong.

There are plenty of monogamous relationships and marriages that are totally unproductive and can also lead to the kind of circumstances Alex has described. It's not just between lovers but friendships between isolated individuals can become very unhealthy too when they are just always the same two people, repeating the same things to each other and indulding each others prejudices imo.

Maybe it's a different debate altogether but I think this issue and many others all boil down to either you believe that the state should have to right to dictate it's morality onto you or you don't I guess.

[lostalex]

I think this applies here. Just because probably more people morally object to polyandry than don't, does not mean it should be illegal. Neither does the fact that in some cases it hasn't worked (like those Alex refers to) mean it should be illegal. You can say the same about gay or lesbian marriage. Just because the majority probably oppose it for moral reasons, does not make it wrong.

There are plenty of monogamous relationships and marriages that are totally unproductive and can also lead to the kind of circumstances Alex has described. It's not just between lovers but friendships between isolated individuals can become very unhealthy too when they are just always the same two people, repeating the same things to each other and indulding each others prejudices imo.

Maybe it's a different debate altogether but I think this issue and many others all boil down to either you believe that the state should have to right to dictate it's morality onto you or you don't I guess.


I never said i opppose it, actually i said the opposite, i said that i support EQUAL relationships between consenting adults.

I said i am concerned by the vast majority of polygamous relationships, which are religion based and do not provide equality to women.

i think it's very interesterssting that the VAST majority of polygamous relationships involve just one man and multiple women, considering we live in a PATRIARCHAL society, it seems the vast majority of advocates for polygamy seem to be men that want to have a HAREM of women.

That is concerning to me. especially because these men also don't seem to be equally supportive of women having a HAREM of men, they argue that MEN should be in control, and that women are their servants. they usually justify their misogyny by quoting some religious text, that women should be subservient to men.

Any argument for misogyny or inequality is not anything i'd support.