Helen on 'Lorraine'

[Kaz]

Hi everyone. :wavey:

As someone who unfortunately is not able to watch 'Lorraine' most days, and has a memory like a sieve for remembering to set the video, I've started this thread in the hope that some kind forum members, who are able to watch the programme, can keep me and others updated on what Helen's up to.

Apparently she was on today's show (a recorded piece), so if anyone would like to start the ball rolling and let us know what happened, I would be extremely grateful! :thumbs: :spin2: :thumbs:

[LEE]

Well, I've just watched todays show and Helen wasn't on it, in fact she wasn't even mentioned at all. :bawling:

As chilledbootz said on another thread, she's hardly been on at all recently and it's quite worrying.

However, I have just read a post that hallie made on TalkBB where she says how she has heard back from GMTV after having made in enquiry about Helen, and that she was told that Helen is still very much part of Lorraine's team and that she has just been of doing 'various projects'. So it looks as though Helen will be back soon. Let's hope so. :thumbs:

[Romantic Old Bird]

I'll try and keep you updated until I go back to work. (After that, I can't, my video timer is kaput)

After her 5 x in one week appearances w/c 7.1.02, Helen had one prerecorded appearance on Tues last week, and has had one this Tuesday. Although I will keep a look out, I'm not really expecting to see her again this week.

As you probably know, quite a few of us rang and emailed our concerns to sky/GMTV and extolled her virtues. Good old hallie persevered and got them to ring back with an answer.

I'm sure the interest and expressions of concern won't have gone amiss for Helen, and I don't feel as pessimistic about her Sky future as I did.

Trying to be positive!:thumbs:

[Romantic Old Bird]

OK, so no Helen today again, but tomorrow she is going to be on, according to Lorraine, looking at the 'hottest handbags'.

I feel a Mr Clarke mention coming on...............:hello::love::hello:

[LEE]

Good, at last!!

It's looks like we were all worrying about nothing. :bouncy:

[Christine]

Oh - that's not fair. I can't watch it tomorrow, 'cos I've got to go to work. :bawling:

Christine http://www.BBFans.com

[Kaz]

Fantastic!! Cheers, R.O.B. :thumbs:

Absolutely - any discussion about hottest handbags will have to involve Helen's lovely little black Gucci number from Mr Clarke, won't it? :spin2: :love: :laugh:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Fraid not Kaz! What a disappointment for a girl!
Re:today's Lorraine.
Today's session was just a pre-recorded tape of Helen shopping in the high street for an evening bag 'to take to my friend Sam's cocktail party'

I thought she said her Gucci bag was all she needed, although I suppose she needed some premise to go.

No PC mention, even when she went to Gucci.

Now, let's all remain calm shall we. I'm doing some deep breathing and positive thinking. It would have helped if I hadn't read that somewhat cryptic posting by Vix. What HAS been said?

I am now going down to immerse myself to happier days, as I'm on week 6 of Dolly's tapes.

I do not wish to be disturbed by harbingers of doom. I am returning to ROB's little world.

I may speak to you later. Please don't scare me, I'm fragile.

[Kaz]

Oh dear - and after I'd remembered to set my video too.

I was somewhat puzzled by Vix's comments too. Although she did say 'rest assured', which I took to mean she was reassuring chilledbootz that all was well, the rest of the sentence was a bit misleading. However, she did say that none of the 'exclusives' were in relation to H&P, which I took to mean that there would be no shock revelations about them.

We have to remember that, whatever Stuart said in the interview, it is just his opinion of how he sees the relationship - and who knows, his comments might be positive after all!

I think we've learned our lesson in the past that too much speculation and letting our imaginations run riot is not good for our health, so I'm just going to 'chill my boots' and wait until the interview is posted up. :spin2:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Re: Lorraine this morning.

No Helen, and no mention re: tomorrow, although hallie rang up immediately and was assured Helen was still part of the show, but had 'other commitments'.

I hope these are real, fruitful commitments for her future, and not fanciful PR cover-ups. I'm really not being paranoid here, it's just that these euphemisms are often rolled out for public figures, i.e.

Spending more time with his family (sacked)
Just good friends
(Having a rampant and steamy affair)
I have complete faith in him as a manager
(Start looking in the Sunday league)

No doubt we will all find out sooner or later.

brian made two brief appearances though, chatting to Ben at the premiere of that Monsters film.

Basically he said he thought he should replace Kym in Hearsay, and when asked who he thought was the real monster in the BB house said, 'Oh, I couldn't say!.. Narinder!' I just have a feeling he had someone else in mind and thought Naz would forgive him that one!

[Feefs]

I'm going to be optimistic about these new committments. Her video is still doing really well, and probably far better than anyone imagined. She really is right up there with Tracy Shaw and Patsy Palmer, which shows how much the public still love her. That will have proven to cynical tv people that Helen's bubble has by no means burst. After all, people are willing to spend actual money to see her, so they're bound to be willing to switch the tv on.

The point I'm meandering towards is that it's quite likely she will have been approached to take part in new, more adventurous projects. It could all be in the early, discussion stages, so we shouldn't get too excited, nor expect any announcements too soon. After all, they only announced Brian would be doing smtv right at the last minute, even though it had obviously been in the pipeline for months.

ROB - I have another theory especially for you, but it's RESTRICTED, so I sent you a U2U. :flower:

[Kaz]

Thanks for the update, ROB. :thumbs:

It's disappointing that Helen hasn't been 'live' on Lorraine for a while now, but I think Feefs is right - we should look on the fact that Helen has other commitments in a positive light. Hopefully when these projects come to fruition it will mean that we will see a lot more of her on TV.
:flower: :colour: :flower:

[peachy]

Could anyone tell me if Helen was on lorraine today?

[bananarama]

Yes she was. Not live in the studio unfortunately. She had another weird beauty treatement. She was her normal bright as a button self. Regards. bananarama:colour::colour::spin2:

[Kaz]

Thanks for that, bananarama. As usual I forgot to set my video in case!! Hopefully she'll be back live in the studio soon.

Welcome to the board - hope you enjoy posting here!! :xyxwave:

[bananarama]

I am beginning to wonder about that! The format of the show has been modified. They don't normally have the happy little group sitting all together having a friendly chat at the beginning of the show now. I suspect that Sky has cut down on the shows budget.:conf::bouncy:

[Romantic Old Bird]

I think you're right, bananarama!

Helen is not the only one who is seen less often and more or less exclusively in pre-recorded slots.

Perhaps the whole Sky morning TV concept has been 'down-sized' because it has brought in the revenue they hoped for. It was spread across the whole morning originally. Maybe it is going to be scrapped.

Lorraine seems to be putting more into her 8.35am LK Today spot on GMTV, and quite a few of her Sky presenters are on there with her. Not Helen though, unfortunately.

Anyway, today's Lorraine, just skimmed through. H not on, but is the subject of Mondays 'Grand in your hand' question.

Does the Lorraine show's Helen Adams originally come from?

Is it

Ireland, Wales or France? Errrrrr - tricky?

Telephone 09050 626160. I never do it because I'd be all embarassed.

Any rode up, according to Lorraine, 'our Helen' is on tomorrow,

'swopping her designer shoes for wellies when we send her down on the farm'.

Mmmm, is Farmer Giles going to smear her with yogurt? Or something worse?

Let's hope it's a nice traditional farmyard. Lot's of ooooh's over the cute animals and eurghhhs over the smell and muck!:flower:

[Kaz]

Thanks ROB. :wavey:

If Helen's going to be down on the farm tomorrow, it surely can't be a beauty product related item, can it? Or have they brought out a new horse manure conditioning body treatment and I've missed it?!! :shocked:

Look forward to tomorrow's thrilling instalment - you're doing a great job. :thumbs:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Helen was down at Bunce's meadow and Deen City Farm, as the second of the 'regulars' to be doing something completely different.

Lorraine said they had decided to send Helen there because she said 'OOOoh, I like pigs, they're pink!'

She had to feed the lambs and a cow, and muck out the pigs. You can imagine! She didn't look too comfortable in the pens, and memories of chicken cleaning sprang to mind. Then she sort of groomed a horse, and said things like 'Ooooh, nice burm, I love his burm.' as she stroked it and smiled other burms came to mind for me, and I'm pretty sure for her too! Just imagine being able to stroke Mr Clarke's burm at will!

She tried to plait the horses tail but got a bit nervous, and settled instead for brushing and trimming a long haired guinea pig!

Lorraine said 'It'll be covered in sequins and glitter next!'

Hallie thought it was filmed some time ago, as Helen's hair was quite short and up, but I'm not so sure. She wasn't really suitably dressed, wearing that short black suede jacket with leather trims. Gloves on all the time, sensibly. She looked fine and obviously had a laugh!

As hallie pointed out, there are probably a good few classic out-takes!

[Kaz]

'OOOoh, I like pigs, they're pink!'

You can just imagine her saying that, can't you! :laugh:

Sounds like it was a good assignment for her, which allowed her lovely bubbly personality to shine. It's good to hear they're referring to her as a 'regular' too - bodes well for an extension to her contract (here's hoping).

R.O.B. - me thinks you are somewhat obsessed with a certain part of Mr Clarke's anatomy, no? :blush:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Kaz, a thing of beauty is a joy forever....

It's simply the best, better than all the rest!!:blush: :colour::dazzler:

[LEE]

No mention of our Helen at all again today. :bawling: (Unless she was mentioned in the first 5 mins which I missed)

It certainly doesn't bode well for seeing her much on the show in the future.

After Lorraine finished I flicked over to BBC1 and realisd that Craig was on Housecall. I didn't think much of the programme as a whole, but I thought Craig was good, he was very enthusiastic and looked at though he was having a great laugh.

Housecall is on BBC1 every day at 10am. I'm not sure how often Craig is on, but the main presenter certainly mentioned him being there tomorrow so it might be every day.

:flower::flower::flower:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Lee,

I agree it's not good that those two bewigged poppinjays seem to have taken over Helen's Monday hair makeover spot.

However, she was mentioned, at the end.
She is going to see 'the woman resposible for Madonna's face' and thet will be on tomorrow!

Let's think positive, and if you want to express your disappointment directly to Sky, it's

lorraine@sky.com

I don't suppose it will make any difference, but it's worth a try. They never answer though, how rude!:mad:

[LEE]

However, she was mentioned, at the end.
She is going to see 'the woman responsible for Madonna's face' and that will be on tomorrow!


Ooh, I missed that, thanks ROB. I must have been concentrating more on the work I was supposed to be doing at that point. :shocked: That'll teach me to get my priorities right in future. :laugh:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Well, Helen may have met the woman responsible for Madonna's face, but all that really happened is that she had another facial!

No doubt a Reaaally expensive one though, and it started with a foot soak, which I suppose is a little different. Problem is, a facial feels really LUSH, (I had one once, I've lived!) but it isn't a great spectator sport. Her skin seemed to flare up quite badly in the middle of it, probably it has reached it's tolerance level.

This is what worries me most, they seem to have a sad lack of ideas of what to do with her. She can't really shine in these scenarios. They also seem to take on more and more regulars. I think she could have done so much more than this, shame.

On the plus side, Helen did nod off again. She was actually doing the baby suck reflex thing, all that was missing was the dummy! She is an incredibly relaxed person isn't she? I'm sure she'll cope with whatever fate holds in store for her.

Bless her, the camera may add a few pounds, and I certainly can't talk, but those shots of her do seem to accentuate her roundness. Now, you know I'm not one to talk, but......

She looked relaxed and happy, and she kept that ring on all the time, even when her hands and fingers were massaged.

let's hope they give her something more exciting to do soon. Maybe when Pop Idol is over

[bananarama]

It is certainly frustrating that they are not taking advantage of Helens bubbly personality. When you compare Helen to the (boring) hair stylists they have found somewhere out of the wood work. There is simply no competition. For what it is worth I think I will email lorrain@sky right now......:xyxwave:

[Feefs]

Originally posted by Romantic old bird
She looked relaxed and happy, and she kept that ring on all the time, even when her hands and fingers were massaged.

That was good of them to include a good hand with ring shot - just for you I'm sure!

On the plus side, Helen did nod off again. She was actually doing the baby suck reflex thing, all that was missing was the dummy! She is an incredibly relaxed person isn't she? I'm sure she'll cope with whatever fate holds in store for her.

Typical! Here we are fretting about her future in television and she's dozing. I bet Paul couldn't care less if we never got a bum shot of him again either!
:flower::flower::flower:

[peachy]

I'm beginning to despair of ever seeing Helen or Paul on anything worth watching ever again. I'm sick of Lorraine's show, it is the most boring dross most of the time, and I HAVE to tape it every single day now, in the increasingly forlorn hope that she will ever be allowed to appear in the studio or have anything natural or interesting to say. I know we have Paul on Night Fever two weeks running to look forward to, but it's not enough. He can move his tush on Night Fever but I'd like to hear him speak as well! It seems inevitable that Helen's days on Lorraine are coming to an end. They don't seem to have a clue what to do with her. These constant facials are just ridiculous and make her appear braindead. Well, that's my rant over. By the way I emailed Lorraine's show on Sky and got a reply from someone at GMTV. What is the connection between the two shows, does anyone know?

[Feefs]

It's the same studio, production company and presumably staff. What did they say in the email? We definitely need to get our ideas for Helen together and send them in. I don't think anyone is going to contribute any more to the thread on TBB. I'll have a look at is, and maybe copy some of them across here in case there's some additional inspiration.

Also - 2 Night Fevers in a row with PC? Brilliant - I thought we were just getting one. That's cheered me up :colour::hello:

[bananarama]

Peachy.

How long did you have to wait for a reply? I have e-mailed and had no reply to-date!

Was the reply informative in any way?:conf:

[peachy]

I emailed Lorraine weeks and weeks ago, when there was a thread on TBB about Helen being wasted on the show. I sent a great long rambling effort praising the show and saying I'd like to see more of helen. The email I got back on Wednesday was a little odd, it didn't answer anything. I've copied and pasted it for you. I think it was sent to me by mistake. This is all it said:
It has been brought to my attention that Ife has been receiving E-mails from
Lorraine SKY viewers via yourself.

Please could you remove her from your list and from now forward E-mails to
myself for response.

Many thanks
Marion

Any ideas on what this means anyone?

[bananarama]

Cryptic!!!

Did marion! give a different e-mail address to that which you sent yours?:shocked:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Suffice it to say Marian has had another email from me!

Anyway, today's Lorraine.
She wasn't on, and I didn't watch it but just went to look on tape at her announcements for next week. Apparently someone called Natasha Kaplinsky, a Sky newsreader, is covering for Lorraine next week, which is a Valentine's special.

Then Lorraine really caused my heart to skip a beat when she said...............

'and Helen and Paul will be out helping couples and playing cupid!'

Then I realised she probably meant Paul Tompkinson..............................

Still, at least Helen's on!

[peachy]

Sorry I meant to include the email for 'Marion'. Her name is Marion.Waldorf@gmtv.co.uk

[Romantic Old Bird]

OK, today, as we suspected, she was on with Paul Tonkinson doing a sort of 'Streetmate' in Covent Garden.

Helen was quite bubbly and funny. The girl she picked had obviously just asked H about P (in my opinion) when the scene returned to her. Helen said 'Now, let's find YOU the man of YOUR dreams!'

Then the couple were in the studio minus Helen and Paul T, for the foppish Mark Hill to do over the hair instead of our Helen! Why?

I don't think she's on tomorrow, but Paul T is getting a colonic irrigation! Good organisation Helen, stick to the facials girlfriend!

Now for all you other old girls out there, this colonic irrigation sounds a lot like one of those soap and water enemas they used to give before childbirth!

Now, I can't do any of the Lorraine watches until Friday, so please, one of you make sure it's all taped just in case we get that on air proposal on Valentines Day!
:love:

[LEE]

Helen was on again today.

Some young girls had won the opportunity to perform a dance routine at the premiere of 'Cinderella 2' and Helen was helping them to learn their dance routine.

:elephant: :elephant: :elephant:

It was a really perfect thing for her to do and she was very enthusiastic and looked as though she was really enjoying it. :spin2:

The girls were called 'The Glitter Girls' so of course our Helen had to help them get all sparkly for the performance.

She then went around asking various celebrity guests what they thought of the girls performance, and finally we saw her in the studio trying to teach the woman who was standing in for Lorraine (I should know her name, but I can't remember it) how to do the dance routine.

It's the first time I've been in when she's been on for ages and I thought she did really well. Let's hope that she's on for a long time to come and that the end of this month isn't the end of her contract.

:flower::hello::flower::hello::flower:

[peachy]

I agree with Lee Helen was really good today and best of all was live in the studio and on the sofa at the top of the show as she always used to be. She looked really good and happy and was on a lot. I felt a little encouraged that perhaps her contract is not going to end. I remember that she started on the show the day the children went back to school in September. If she had a six month contract with the show I would have thought it would have ended by now. Do you think I'm right? Im going to email Lorraine's show and tell them I liked them using the regulars more this week, especially helen, of course. Will anyone else who has the time do the same? If they get some positive feedback it might encourage them to use her more.

[Feefs]

Originally posted by Romantic old bird
Helen was quite bubbly and funny. The girl she picked had obviously just asked H about P (in my opinion) when the scene returned to her. Helen said 'Now, let's find YOU the man of YOUR dreams!'


To which you (I/we) would have replied "Great, did you leave him doing a spot of decorating?" :laugh:

All those things sound very promising and much better than the endless facials. I will definitely be sending an email to welcome this change of tack and offer a few suggestions of my own. I wonder if they are taking advantage of the way kids love Helen during the holidays. This is good, but I hope they realise us more mature types love her too. :flower:

[bananarama]

What a pleasant surprise to see Helen live in the studio again. She was in her element. Confident and bubbly as ever.Helen at her best. For a brief time it was as though she was the main presenter and it gave the program such a tonic. Well it made my day anyway.:colour::laugh::laugh:

[peachy]

Originally posted by bananarama
What a pleasant surprise to see Helen live in the studio again. She was in her element. Confident and bubbly as ever.Helen at her best. For a brief time it was as though she was the main presenter and it gave the program such a tonic. Well it made my day anyway.:colour::laugh::laugh:

That's exactly what I felt Bananarama. I really feel that although Lorraine is very professional her show just lately has been SO stale and boring. Helen gave it life. As Brian would say 'the girl's just got colour'!

[Feefs]

I've sent my email and complemented them on a bright and lively show in spite of Lorraine not being there. I didn't want them to think I was too critical of how it was normally, or they may not consider me 'target audience'. I said how impressed I was with Helen and her enthusiasm, and can we see more of her please doing things a bit more interesting than facials and gave a few suggestions.

Let's hope they take our ideas on board! If you see Helen up a mountain in the next few weeks then that's my doing! Only joking - I wouldn't do that to the poor girl. :love:

[Kaz]

I'm so pleased to hear that Helen was back in the studio today. :hello:

And it sounds like she was in her element, teaching dancing to kids and covering them in glitter!!

Much better use of her bubbly personality, rather than having her lying down getting different types of gunk plastered over her face! :spin2:

Well done for e-mailing them, Feefs - it'll be interesting to see if they take up any of your ideas - you must let us know if they do! :thumbs:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Came back from my little break early, and so was able to see Lorraine today, pretty boring, bu Helen is on picking the best chocolates tomorrow! Three times in one week (at least).

I feel a congratulatory email coming on!:hello:

[peachy]

I've sent them a long email today and I know some people on TBB have as well. They should have had a really nice crop of congratulatory emails about Helen. Like Feefs I was careful to say I also liked Lorraine and the other regulars but singled out Helen in the studio for special praise. I shall have to tape tomorrow for chocolates but 'it's not paul Clarke', is it?

[Maggie]

No peachy, its not Paul clarke :bawling::bawling:, what a lovley Valentine program that would make:dance::elephant::dance::colour::elephant::dan ce::elephant::colour:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Helen was today testing posh Valentines Day Chocs, and it transpires she has made a £100 bet with Paul (Clarke) to prove shes not a chocoholic, and that she can go from Christmas to May without eating any chocolate.

This morning she gave in after about 30 secs, especially after Natasha said they'd checked, and Paul was in a meeting so wouldn't see it! After helen had eaten a choc, Natasha said she'd send him a tape, and Helen said she didn't care, she'd give him the money instead!

She didn't know what he'd got her for Valentines yet, but said it was really early when she left home today. Not sure if she's on tomorrow, but, lots better week for helen all round. She was really bubbly, funny and livened up the programme.

The H&P relationship, well, it's just an accepted, long term thing isn't it, from the way she talks about it?:love:

Wonder what she'll have waiting for her tonight?

[Feefs]

I'm really impressed that Helen has gone from Chirstmas to now without chocolate. For a 3 galaxy-a-day girl to cut down that much she must be in receipt of lots of chocolate substitute. :love: I like the idea of them making silly bets, it's really cute and healthy that they can still take the p**s out of each other.

The mind boggles at what exciting Valentines treats they have planned for each other, but now that Helen has lost her bet, Paul should bring home a Crunchie for her, in honour of the one he gave her inside the BB house that made her think he was 'alright'.:thumbs:

I like the idea that they would check Paul was in a meeting, so Helen could eat chocolate without him finding out. It's a bit like Helen getting all dressed up for eviction nights as if we couldn't see her the rest of the time. :laugh:

:flower::flower::flower:

[Kaz]

Thanks, R.O.B. :thumbs:

I actually remembered to set my video this morning (just in case there was a Mr Clarke Valentine's Day appearance!!) so I'll be able to watch it when I get home tonight.

You're absolutely right Feefs - Helen must have had something else to keep her occupied for the past couple of months that kept her mind off chocolate! :blush: :love:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Kaz and Feefs, I am not sure exactly to what you are referring!

Personally, I feel Helen must have been kept busy emroidering napkins and tray cloths for her bottom drawer

I must tell you, to keep check on such details as the crunchie bar, and in readiness for when I eventually do BB Millionaire, today I had to buy another BB2 book!

How sad is that! My original has fallen apart! :bawling:

A bargain at £4.99........... :spin2:

[chilledbootz]

Just to let you know H will be on Lorraine tomorrow going through her drawers apparently!!!!! Lorraine assures us it's all very clean:blush::dance::hello:

[Romantic Old Bird]

ROB, roving reporter here!

Why is she at home, I hear you ask? Well, two days back at work was enough to make me decide I needed Friday as a holiday!

Now, back to Helen's Drawers on this morning's Lorraine:

Helen has acquired two 3 drawer filing cabinets, had them sprayed pink, and stuck pieces of ribbon and glitter strategically all over them.

Cue lots of 'rifling around in Helen's drawers' comments on the intro, with the film guy and Richard Blackwood looking on approvingly.

Just an excuse for Helen to show us some over priced celeb toys, trinkets and trivia again really, but she was in her element, doing little fanfares as she opened each drawer. She obviously loves this stuff, and she's getting paid for it. Can't be bad!

A couple of snippets:
She had a pretty pink and white confecture of a tiara in her hair, and looked well, bubbly and happy as can be, ring intact, all well

Not a sniff of a PC mention, although she did remark that the Sony Ido robot dog responded better to a male voice. (How sad am I?) I think he will be mentioned only on high days and holidays now, but we know he's there in the background somewhere, not to worry.

This is to be a weekly Friday feature, so it looks like it's Tuesdays and Fridays from now on, plus a few special reports. I was surprised to see Paul Tonkinson seems to be undertaking the commando course with soldiers we were promised with Helen, and there haven't been anymore of the fitness investigations she was supposed to do. Yet.

Anyway, the plus side is:- two regular weekly features for now; and Helen seems to be growing in confidence and bubbliness.

One little comedy note, when looking in one of her drwers she pulled out a long magician style link of enormous ROB size knickers, saying she had forgotten she'd left them in there. She underplayed it nicely, and I think she does have a real untapped comedic talent!

Over and out!

[splodge0]

Another reason for me to invest in E4 and other digital stuff I suppose:colour:

[kaphc]

Thanx for the report ROB, I never get to watch daytime TV unless I'm poorly - must remember to throw a sickie on Tuesdays or Fridays then!

:hugesmile::hugesmile:

Helen sounds like she is doing really well in her "slot" still. Good for her!! :xyxwave::hello::hello::xyxwave:

[BigSister]

Thanxs for the report too ROB

Must remember to watch tuesdays and fridays lorraine

[Romantic Old Bird]

Hello, ROB roving reporter here again!

Helen managed to make discussing potions and lotions watchable again this morning, and we even got a mention of the sainted PC!

'Now this body oil Lorraine, it takes ages to soak in. I couldn't put my pyjamas on,
I had to just stand there naked for five minutes and Paul said 'What are you doing Helen?'. '

Much chortling followed of course.

I mean, who needs an imagination to picture this household?

It's mad innit?

Pretty bog standard show for the rest. They keep aquiring presenters. I can only imagine they pay them very modestly

In the last couple of weeks they've acquired an old Californian Queen called Nelson to review LA gossip.

Today an unprepossessing pug faced bloke called Scott who used to be in 5 was interviewed and he made it clear he wanted a job presenting 'how about 3 times a week on Lorraine?' and bingo, he's back tomorrow to do pop panel.


I may be biased, but I think they should just develop two or three presenters, including Helen of course, so that people bond more with them.

Anyway, the girl done good again today!

She looked very pretty, radiant and chirpy as a cricket. She's obviously not half as bothered as I am by her sad underutilisation.


(Still breaking myself into the work ethos gently you'll note. Home today, but I won't be able to look at Helen's drawers live on Friday I'm afraid)

[Mairi]

Thanks, ROB. I can't wait to get home tonight to see this, now.
:colour:

[Kaz]

Thanks for that, Ace Reporter ROB. :thumbs:

Sometimes reading your description of Helen on 'Lorraine' is almost better than watching the real thing! :hello: :dance: :hello:

[kaphc]

:hugesmile::hugesmile::hugesmile:

Thank you for the body oil quote ROB, your description of this made me laugh out loud!!

:hugesmile::hugesmile::hugesmile:

It seem sall too realistic when compared with ROBs world (which is the reality isn't it, Lorraine is just the imaginary bit?)

:hugesmile::hugesmile::hugesmile:

[Kaz]

Don't think I'll be able to match up to ROB's impeccable reporting skills, but I've just watched my tape of Helen on today's Lorraine, so here's a quick summary:

Helen was on the sofa at the start of the programme, looking extremely pretty, with her hair up and wearing black trousers and a black top with a pink, sparkly flower apliqued on the shoulder.

In 'Helen's Drawers' (for which she now has her very own introductory trailer) she was looking at celeb. must haves.

She showed quite a few things, including a handbag that Madonna had bought, costing £350, which she said she liked.

A pair of flip flops with a built-in magnetic strip to give you a reflexology workout, when Helen said she would prefer if they were pink and glittery!

A Dolce & Gabanna outfit, flown in from Milan, costing £500 which consisted of a stripy top and frilly skirt. Helen said 'It's not really me, Lorraine!' I thought it was hideous.

I've saved the best for last! :dance:

She also showed a mini playstation which she said would be a big hit with the boys, and said to Lorraine it would be small enought to fit into your handbag. Then she said I think Paul will be - 'can you bring it home please, Helen so I can play with it'.

Hurrah - a PC mention, on his birthday! :hello: :elephant: :hello:

[chilledbootz]

I saw it too Kaz got very excited of mention of PC. I wonder why the Friday show is pre-recorded??.:conf::conf:. I tell you what though, i'm getting more and more attracted to Ben Shepard every day.:love:

[Feefs]

Excellent review again - thank you. I wonder sometimes if the actual thing can live up to the descriptions we get?

I think the Friday show gets pre-recorded because Lorraine Kelly doesn't do LK Today on Fridays either. She's very strict about her work not infringing on her family time, so it's probably all do do with that.

Good on Helen managing to mention her 2 favourite things - handbags and PC during an item on a Gameboy.
:flower:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Is Lorraine recorded on Fridays? I had no idea!

So Helen only works Tues- Thurs then? Lucky woman! She can pamper and herself ready for the weekend, and for the unadulterated attention of Mr Clarke.

In fact, if I didn't like the lass so much I could be rather jealous.

Come to think of it, I am jealous.

:mad::mad::mad:

[peachy]

Hi everyone, Peachy here, stand-in trainee roving reporter. I have been home from work today so caught Helen on Lorraine. I thought I'd try my hand at this reporting stuff. I can't compete with either Kaz or ROB but here goes.

Well Helen was in her Beauty Bar and she had a jar of moisturising cream which cost £350 for a smallish jar. She said it was quite nice (it would have had to guarantee to turn me into Catherine Zeta Jones overnight for me to spend that much, but never mind).

After going through various products, including a massage oil which she said she only tried on her arms (oh yes, we believe you Helen), Lorraine finished by saying that Helen had made it to celebrity status because she was 'being done' by Alistair McGowan on Friday night. They then showed a clip of McGowan and Ronni Ancona doing H&P. It was very funny as he had them watching themselves on Big Brother. Helen and Lorraine both thought it was hilarious and Helen said 'It's just what we do all the time'. I thought Ronni (hope that is her name) was much better at Helen than she was at Christmas and Helen said that she and Paul didn't mind a bit and thought the impersonation of them was very funny.

That was about it really. Helen looked happy,confident and at ease and all seemed well in her Little World:xyxwave:

[Romantic Old Bird]

ET TU PEACHY

I came on earlier, just as you had beaten me to it, and went off in a strop. I mean, I am an artiste!

However, I have reflected that Shakespeare had to contend with Bacon, so I can also be magnanimous, especially on his birthday!

Jesting aside, a comprehensive interpretation of the subtleties and nuances of the performance, Peachy.

I would however like to add a couple of observations:

Firstly, THAT massage gel!

Apparently it comes from a shop that sells 'naughty things', although Helen did add that you can also order it off the web 'apparently'.

As Peachy said, Helen claimed to have only rubbed it into her arms herself.

She had a very cheeky face on her at that stage, I have reason to believe she was being a wee bit coy. The evidence:

She went on to say however that it:

'Don't come off on your underwear or on your bedsheets, Lorraine!'

Now, as for the Alistair McGowan clip:

Helen did indeed say, 'I love Helen and Paul at home, that's what we're like!' and laughed heartily at the concept.

I don't think Ronnie Ancona is even close with her impression, and the lovely Paul Clarke deserves to be treated with more reverence, bless him, but I'm sure it will be funny.

So, apparently they do sit on the floor, side by side, watching telly then! Lovely!

I hope they sometimes they still do this though......

http://www.geocities.com/bigbrotherspaul/bigbrother_dinner1.jpg

If you can't see this, go to:
http://www.geocities.com/bigbrotherspaul/bigbrother_dinner1.jpg

Cos, we all need a bit of romance, don't we Lorraine?

What say you?


:hello::colour::hello::colour::hello:

[Di2001]

Oh wow!! :hello::dazzler::hello:

Can't wait for the P & H clip(s)!! :dance::love::dance::love:

[bananarama]

There is a picture of Lorraine, Helen (wearing her posh bird top) and Ben Shephard in this months Sky digital magazine.

For those that don't have the Sky digital magazine Lorraine is interviewed and had the following comments to make about Helen.


"She's really come on so well. Nobody new whether or not she'd be able to do it, as she hadn't done anything like this before. She's been absolutely great. I told her, 'Be yourself, that's why people really warmed to you, so it would be ridiculous to change you in any way.' And that's what she has done. She's a lovely girl"

It's nice to hear Lorraine speak of her that way and even nicer to see how happy she is and the way she is enjoying herself which showed more than ever today.

[Romantic Old Bird]

Thanks for that banarama! I just wish Lorraine would utilise her a little more widely and bring her onto LK today and to a wider audience, because she is growing in confidence.

I've noticed that even in close up she is completely at ease now. She makes the best of her difficulties in enunciating words, and it's just endearing, not a disadvantage at all. She holds these little items rock steady for the camera, without a hint of a nervous tremble.

I still think, if she wants to, it is well within her capabilities to do more than she is doing now.

Still it's nice to see her a couple of times every week, looking happy and healthy.

Why wouldn't she?

:hello::love::hello:

[chilledbootz]

Back in H's drawers today. Items in her drawers included Scholl shoes(in pink obviously!!), she was wearing a beautiful cross made from diamonds and rubies worth an extortionate amount of money, a shell suit jacket which h again revealed she owned a shell suit and said how much she loved it, and even tried it on but it was too small. Sorry but other items were less memorable, however she did show a pink fluffy papoose that all the stars are purchasing for their babies. At the end of the item Lorraine said how H could take everything home now and even tried to speed things along for us by saying that H might need the papoose, to which H replied "no, no, no definately not!". Oh well Lorraine you'll have to work on her for us:devil::elephant::thumbs:

[Kaz]

Thanks, chilledbootz - excellent review! :thumbs: Needless to say I forgot to set the video again - well that is the reason I started this thread in the first place, isn't it! :blush:

There's a blast from the past - Scholl sandals and shell suits - I remember them well - in fact I still have mine. :laugh: :blush: :laugh:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Thankyou for the excellent review. I can't watch it first hand anymore, but I did see it.

I didn't like the finality with which Helen said, No NO! re: the papoose. I know she is scared of the effect a pregnancy might have on her figure - she said she admires Madonna more than anyone because 'you wouldn't think she'd had two kids would you?'


I keep hoping she'll get broody, because we all know whose life wouldn't be complete without kids, don't we? Can't have him going elsewhere, because, much as I'd like to oblige, I do not have the tecnology, and they cannot rebuild me............:bawling:

[bananarama]

Plenty of Paul Clarke mentions to-day folk. Tell em about it ROB. :colour::colour:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Love to, but can't!!:bawling: Back at work, accidentally taped channel 5! Major trauma! Peachy to the rescue I think!!

(Old girl has some uses)

[Mairi]

Oh, ROB, that IS a major trauma. I'm so sorry. I do hope Peachy can come to the rescue. Paul Clarke mentions are so few and far between these days. :bawling:

[Princess Pink Pants]

Originally posted by bananarama
Plenty of Paul Clarke mentions to-day folk. Tell em about it ROB. :colour::colour:

Why cant U tell us about it Bananarama? PLEASE!!!! :xyxwave:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Princess, if no-one else takes pity on us, rest assured that I have been vouchsafed a copy of today's programme on loan from my friend Peachy. I should have this in my hot little hands by tomorrow, and I will be happy to then peruse it and give you the full ROB interpretation of every smile, glance, nuance and word.

I feel we should savour every last appearance whilst we can.

By my calculations, Helen's last appearance will be on May 30th, which just happens to be her 24th birthday.

Now, it could be a sad occasion, or it could be a happy one.................


Mr Clarke, if you are sneakily checking the site from your tube at work, take heed! She needs you now, bite the bullet mate, get your backside down to H Samuels and get something BIG and SPARKLY, whizz the Audi down to the South Bank studios, park like Dustin Hoffman in the Graduate, leave the doors open, sprint up the stairs and burst into the set just as Helen is emerging from her last rummage through her drawers, holding in her hand the Versace nasal hair trimmer that Madge just had to buy for £2000, shout 'Helen', fall onto your knees and slide across the studio floor with the open ring case in your hand. Come to a standstill at her feet...............................
http://www.wedding-invitations.org.uk/Thumbnail%20018.gif
Say, 'Helen, you ARE the love of my life, the girl of my dreams, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with!

Be my lovely wife, and have my lovely children, which my life would not be complete without!'

Lorraine would be thrilled, and she would be so excited that she wouldn't remember to Grand in your Hand, or to talk to Nelson in Los Angeles.

The whole thing would be shown on the evening news, Twix would rethink their decision to pull out of the sponsorship deal and they would insist that Helen goes on GMTV as well.

And ROB would go back to her burrow as a happy little camper.

Now, is that too much to ask?

:hello::love::dance::love::colour::colour::colour: :love::dance::love::hello:

[Mairi]

What a wonderful scenario, ROB. I think I'll take the 30th May off work, just in case!!

:hello::hello::hello::hello::hello::hello::hello:: hello::hello::hello:

[bananarama]

Sorry I didn't post details as I know ROB is so good at reviewing.

I missed the SUN article the link has gone now. Did they say the show was finishing foor good or just a break in the series?
bananarama. :conf::conf:

[Princess Pink Pants]

Soooooo um, is sum1 gonna tell me wot happened on the show or wot?
Pleeeeeeeeease :conf::bawling::conf:

[chilledbootz]

Ok here goes. Lorraine's grand in your hand comp. Question was "Name Helen's famous BB boyfriend the girl said Paul but couldn't remember the Clarke bit. So when it was Helen's slot she started off by saying to Lorraine "how can you forget Mr Clarke?" Then Helen moved on to a product called Dream Cream made by Lush and said Paul got her started on it because he uses it. I remember there was a small piece in Heat about Paul buying H a set from Lush. I think that was all the mentions but i'll have another look to see if I still have it.

Buy the way ROB I love the scenario but alas I don't think it will happen now. I do think they're could be a good chance that he will be on lorraine soon to talk about BB3. Ah we can but dream!!!!!! :sleep::sleep::hello::hello::thumbs:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Poor Banarama!

No one took sympathy on you, but never fear, ROB is here!

I have seen the aforementioned programme. It will not, I think, be entered for the Golden Rose of Montreaux.

However, Helen did manage to get her Paul a couple of mentions!

Firstly, durin the 'Grand in your Hand' quiz, one of the questions was:

'What is the name of helen Adams boyfriend from Big Brother?'

The lady answered Paul, but couldn't remember Clarke.

The next item on the programme was Helen's Beauty Bar. Helen was open mouthed that ANYONE could not remember Mr Clarke's full name, love him!

Next up, she divulged that 'Dream Cream' by Lush was the body cream of choice in the Clarke/Adams household, obviously one tub shared by both!

I'd like to think their joint use enables them to overcome that age-old problem of how on earth you reach that bit between your shoulder blades.

H: Paul..., Mr Clarke love, can you rub me some cream in just here?

P: Alright H, but this time it stops there!


Despite the imminent demise of the programme, Helen is still a happy little bundle, and is obviously making the best of her time.

I hope it will become really informal and silly in the last couple of weeks and allow her full reign! Hopefully I will have sussed the new video by then!

[Romantic Old Bird]

Two responses! Double cool indeed!

I'm sure you are right chilledbootz, Paul isn't going to do the bended knee thing on national TV. After all, remember when he 'started having feelings' for Helen he wanted it to be special and private and not share it with everyone.

However, Helen would just LOVE it! I think there will be something done. Remember he phoned in on the very first day...............

[Princess Pink Pants]

Thanx!

I think I might try sum of this dream cream!

[bananarama]

Thank's ROB I knew you could do it better than me!

She was just as perky today showing no outward sign of being upset about the show ending. Although she did get her draws in a bit of a muddle not remembering which she had opened last and which was next to open.

She plodded on regardles as others could be heard in the background having a laugh. I will miss her happy face if she has no other TV slot lined up. bananarama. :colour::colour:

[Romantic Old Bird]

Helen's drawers were rummaged in again today, nothing too exciting I have to say.

Items on review were:
Pickled plums as used by celebs with sore throats,
A really naff handbag costing a bomb with Marilyn motifs on it. Lorraine asked if Helen had made it, and then said it looked as if it had been made by a child!

A pair of incredibly high and expensive pink 'jubilee' strappy shoes which Helen wondered if the Queen would wear, and Lorraine said, 'I don't think so, but maybe Prince Phillip.'

A pair of pink cowboy boots a la Madonna.

Helen was wearing one (!) of these and a Britney style T shirt. She admitted that her tee shirt was not so closely cut, but said 'I haven't got the same stomach'.

It was still entertaining, because Helen got her drawers in a twist as usual, and everyone had a hearty laugh, including the production crew.

These are the things which make it with Helen, and I think there is a 'let's just have a laugh' attiitude with everyone on there now. This could be interesting as we get nearer and nearer to the end of the month!

Sadly, no PC mentions, but our Helen is definitely still looking in the pink......and....


SHOCK HORROR!:shocked:

..at the end of the show Lorraine announced that Helen and Ben would be reporting live from the Cannes Film Festival all next week.

I hope Mr Clarke is happy about that, and I hope Helen keeps her hands off young Mr Shepherd!

I mean, he is pretty...........................

BUT HE'S NOT PAUL CLARKE!

:love::love::love::love::love:

[bananarama]

I thaught the lorrain show was due to finish on the 31st May! At the end of todays show Loraraine said she was on holiday next week. Have they got just one extra week? :conf: