Ever struggled with your sexuality?

[Benjamin]

Anyone ever get those days where they wonder what life would be like if you were heterosexual? I've always wondered what it would be like to do the whole marriage, wife and kids thing.

[King Gizzard]

this thread is sexualityist

[Ammi]

..no, I guess it's just natural to wonder about things..but you’ve always said that it’s the person that you’ll fall in love with and connect to and not whether they’re male/female..you’ve always been quite open to that, which is something I admire...I would try not to struggle with anything or spend too much time wondering Benjamin and just believe that, my lovely...there's no hurry with anything..as you know, it's more important that you find the right person....that's something that's worth being patient for......

[Patrick]

I've struggled with being straight in a way - because most people don't think I am, and there's a fad going about at the moment where everyone is 'turning Bisexual' because it's 'trendy'.

And a few people literally tried to make me 'come out as Bi' - and to stick to what I believed about myself, and telling them to ****** off, meant alot to me. So yeah in a way I struggle with being straight because sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to just be Bi or Gay and not have to constantly keep telling people you're straight when they ask.

IMO though, it's only made me more comfortable with my sexuality if anything.

[Ammi]

..oh, it this you way of telling us that you've met someone Ben..?....

..I hope it's not Tammi in that thing you keep asking us to vote in because I've been voting her out everytime..I thought maybe she was bullying you or something....you just can't ever be sure with someone who's name ends in ammi....terrible people....

[Ammi]

I've struggled with being straight in a way - because most people don't think I am, and there's a fad going about at the moment where everyone is 'turning Bisexual' because it's 'trendy'.

And a few people literally tried to make me 'come out as Bi' - and to stick to what I believed about myself, and telling them to ****** off, meant alot to me. So yeah in a way I struggle with being straight because sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to just be Bi or Gay and not have to constantly keep telling people you're straight when they ask.

IMO though, it's only made me more comfortable with my sexuality if anything.

..yeah, sometimes people can make assumptions Patrick and once they do that they can then believe them to be true and try to force them on you as well....so long as you're confident in who you are then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks...

..maybe it's harder for people less confident as you though...

[Benjamin]

No I have not met anyone, lol. Chance would be a fine thing. I've become the complete opposite of what I was. I'm not down, just occasionally that thought crosses my mind and I ponder on it for a while.

But yes people that end in ámmi' can not be trusted. Wicked creatures they are.

[Jesus.]

I've struggled to get other people participating in my sexuality, if that counts?

[Ammi]

No I have not met anyone, lol. Chance would be a fine thing. I've become the complete opposite of what I was. I'm not down, just occasionally that thought crosses my mind and I ponder on it for a while.

But yes people that end in ámmi' can not be trusted. Wicked creatures they are.

..oh and the irony of you bumping your 'help needed' thread as well.....

..Tammi for the win...

[Benjamin]

I've struggled to get other people participating in my sexuality, if that counts?

:joker:

..oh and the irony of you bumping your 'help needed' thread as well.....

..Tammi for the win...

Pfft, she was evicted last. :idc:

[Ammi]

:joker:



Pfft, she was evicted last. :idc:

..in all seriousness, I've never questioned or wondered about my sexuality..but then I met my soul mate when I was very young...

[Conzors]

I think about this all time time.

Every single member of my family have lived the traditional life. Wife, Husband and Children. I am the first gay member of my family and i feel that is it so bad that I'm going to break the chain in a way. I still want children, I still want a stable relationship (not necessarily a marriage) and I'm 20 now, time is moving on, my mum had her first child at 23, I don't have too long! So part of me thinks that if i was straight i would be settled down by now and thinking of having children of my own - so that's a bit devastating.

I do think however, though, that maybe i will have a wife? I fall in love with the personality not necessarily the gender. I have always said I was homosexual, so sexually a man is more arousing for me, but when it comes to falling in love, its the personality, so if i fall in love with a woman, the sexual part will come along.

I dont know though.
:(

[Niall]

I've definitely sat and wondered how different everything would be. I reckon if I was straight I'd be a lot more outgoing because then there wouldn't be the whole coming out issue and I'd feel more comfortable with people etc etc.

I would probably have wound up getting confirmed under the Catholic Church too. I didn't do it now because I wasn't going to make a lifelong commitment to an organisation that calls me unnatural, but without that argument I'd probably have wound up going through with it. It's a weird thought actually.

It's just so alien for me to imagine a straight version of myself. :laugh:

[Jesus.]

I've definitely sat and wondered how different everything would be. I reckon if I was straight I'd be a lot more outgoing because then there wouldn't be the whole coming out issue and I'd feel more comfortable with people etc etc.

It's just so alien for me to imagine a straight version of myself. :laugh:

ounJsqomcv8

[Ammi]

I think about this all time time.

Every single member of my family have lived the traditional life. Wife, Husband and Children. I am the first gay member of my family and i feel that is it so bad that I'm going to break the chain in a way. I still want children, I still want a stable relationship (not necessarily a marriage) and I'm 20 now, time is moving on, my mum had her first child at 23, I don't have too long! So part of me thinks that if i was straight i would be settled down by now and thinking of having children of my own - so that's a bit devastating.

I do think however, though, that maybe i will have a wife? I fall in love with the personality not necessarily the gender. I have always said I was homosexual, so sexually a man is more arousing for me, but when it comes to falling in love, its the personality, so if i fall in love with a woman, the sexual part will come along.

I dont know though.
:(



..do you not think that 23yrs is still very young to have a child though....I don't know how comfortable you are in yourself about who you are but I do think that has to come first...there is so much time to have children and the most important thing is that you'll be the best parent you can be if you feel complete with who you are...

[Niall]

ounJsqomcv8

:lovedup:

[Ammi]

I've definitely sat and wondered how different everything would be. I reckon if I was straight I'd be a lot more outgoing because then there wouldn't be the whole coming out issue and I'd feel more comfortable with people etc etc.

I would probably have wound up getting confirmed under the Catholic Church too. I didn't do it now because I wasn't going to make a lifelong commitment to an organisation that calls me unnatural, but without that argument I'd probably have wound up going through with it. It's a weird thought actually.

It's just so alien for me to imagine a straight version of myself. :laugh:

..I'm straight Niall and still not very outgoing..maybe it's just in your character and you would be the same either way..?..I guess you'll never know so it's best not to 'blame' anything because that could only make you less confident about who you are and shouldn't be..I also think that the Catholic church disapproves of me..I think they're just very negative and disapproving people in general and their opinions aren't very important...

[Niall]

..I'm straight Niall and still not very outgoing..maybe it's just in your character and you would be the same either way..?..I guess you'll never know so it's best not to 'blame' anything because that could only make you less confident about who you are and shouldn't be..I also think that the Catholic church disapproves of me..I think they're just very negative and disapproving people in general and their opinions aren't very important...

I know I know. But it's more the fact that having to come out holds me back sometimes. Like being in the closet makes certain conversations irl really awkward for me, and I half think it's pushed me into being a bit of a recluse. But who knows, straight Niall might be just as reclusive in a parallel universe somewhere. It's not that I'm blaming anything per se, just pondering over how different I might be. But thank you Ammi, you're so sweet as always. :lovedup:

And yeah I don't hold much value to their opinions either. I don't care what they say, it's just that my whole family is Catholic and I think I might have gotten confirmed if I was straight. I (think) I'd have no massive problem with them.

It's weird to think of all the different things that could change if one aspect of you as a person was different anyway. :laugh:

[Ammi]

I know I know. But it's more the fact that having to come out holds me back sometimes. Like being in the closet makes certain conversations irl really awkward for me, and I half think it's pushed me into being a bit of a recluse. But who knows, straight Niall might be just as reclusive in a parallel universe somewhere. It's not that I'm blaming anything per se, just pondering over how different I might be. But thank you Ammi, you're so sweet as always. :lovedup:

And yeah I don't hold much value to their opinions either. I don't care what they say, it's just that my whole family is Catholic and I think I might have gotten confirmed if I was straight. I (think) I'd have no massive problem with them.

It's weird to think of all the different things that could change if one aspect of you as a person was different anyway. :laugh:

...oh, I didn't realise you hadn't come out Niall...do you think that family and close friends really know deep inside and that they're waiting for you to say it...?...

..it's amazing how perceptive us parents are but probably woudn't push our children and let them take everything at their own pace....

[Saph]

Well i'm not gay but i've often wondered/worried about my future seen as i'm quite an independent person, I cant see myself getting married to someone :\ and plus I have no idea what I want to do with my life which is worrying because i'll be 20 next year so my time to be young and go through education is running out.. and I often worry that i'm wasting my 'young' life away by doing nothing all day, I don't go to parties and stuff because I don't drink or smoke or anything and although i'm quite a popular person in general, I've never had a proper best friend so I've just gotten used to doing stuff by myself.. which sounds sad :laugh: When I was in year 11 I always thought that by the time I was 18 i'd have my whole life planned out and probably be famous living in LA and that hasn't happened (yet).

and I've just noticed this has nothing to do with this thread but here it is anyway :p

[Niall]

...oh, I didn't realise you hadn't come out Niall...do you think that family and close friends really know deep inside and that they're waiting for you to say it...?...

..it's amazing how perceptive us parents are but probably woudn't push our children and let them take everything at their own pace....

Well it's actually a very weird situation. Nearly all my closest friends know, and a few family members too. Like, my Mum knows and I'm open with her about it etc, but not my Dad. It's all very complicated and stupid. :laugh: But like you said about parents, my Dad probably knows. Hell my whole family probably does and if they didn't then they'd have to be some kinda stupid not to have noticed really.

My whole issue with it all is that I have to go and admit it to everyone, y'know? That's what I have trouble with. I find it difficult to say "I'm gay" to people irl for whatever reason. I mean I wish there was a button I could push that would just make everyone I know that I'm gay without me having to go through the admitting bit. :joker:

[arista]

"whole life planned out and probably be famous living in LA and that hasn't happened (yet)."


Thats Good as California is Bankrupt



Never give up


Feel The Force

[Ammi]

Well it's actually a very weird situation. Nearly all my closest friends know, and a few family members too. Like, my Mum knows and I'm open with her about it etc, but not my Dad. It's all very complicated and stupid. :laugh: But like you said about parents, my Dad probably knows. Hell my whole family probably does and if they didn't then they'd have to be some kinda stupid not to have noticed really.

My whole issue with it all is that I have to go and admit it to everyone, y'know? That's what I have trouble with. I find it difficult to say "I'm gay" to people irl for whatever reason. I mean I wish there was a button I could push that would just make everyone I know that I'm gay without me having to go through the admitting bit. :joker:

..yeah, I do understand that and that it's not easy for the words to come out..heterosexuals don't have to make any announcements..'hey, I'm straight dad'..they just take someone home to meet their parents or mention that they have been seeing someone..but I can also see that just taking someone home to meet him, when you find someone probably wouldn't go down well either....there is the possibility that your mum has already told him and he already knows, but if that was the case, it would be good if he could open the conversation and not wait for you to have to 'announce' anything.....some men find that difficult though, not just because you're gay but any type of sex/relationship talk....

[Ryan.]

I'm Bisexual :P Came out to most people before Xmas there - can't tell family or they will disown me, so maybe it's time for Tibbers to know.

I don't really struggle with it anymore, but I kinda agree with Niall - it would be much easier to not have to bother 'coming out' to everyone and having the worry that comes with all that.

But no, I don't struggle :) love a bit of the aul cock

[Munchkins]

No

Penis>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>vagina

[Ammi]

Well i'm not gay but i've often wondered/worried about my future seen as i'm quite an independent person, I cant see myself getting married to someone :\ and plus I have no idea what I want to do with my life which is worrying because i'll be 20 next year so my time to be young and go through education is running out.. and I often worry that i'm wasting my 'young' life away by doing nothing all day, I don't go to parties and stuff because I don't drink or smoke or anything and although i'm quite a popular person in general, I've never had a proper best friend so I've just gotten used to doing stuff by myself.. which sounds sad :laugh: When I was in year 11 I always thought that by the time I was 18 i'd have my whole life planned out and probably be famous living in LA and that hasn't happened (yet).

and I've just noticed this has nothing to do with this thread but here it is anyway :p

..it's really easy when you're young to think that being 20yrs and not a teenager anymore is 'old'..but it's really not Saph...a good way of deciding what you want to do is to do some work placements if you can...things that you think might be interesting or suit you...I mean you might yet be famous and living in LA at some point but you have to have something to be famous for..and, as you say, you're an independent person, so you could just approach companies/organisations and ask them if you could help in anyway..put together a CV/portfolio...and it's fine not to have a best friend either....not everyone has one, I don't...I just have a few closer friends...

[Niall]

..yeah, I do understand that and that it's not easy for the words to come out..heterosexuals don't have to make any announcements..'hey, I'm straight dad'..they just take someone home to meet their parents or mention that they have been seeing someone..but I can also see that just taking someone home to meet him, when you find someone probably wouldn't go down well either....there is the possibility that your mum has already told him and he already knows, but if that was the case, it would be good if he could open the conversation and not wait for you to have to 'announce' anything.....some men find that difficult though, not just because you're gay but any type of sex/relationship talk....

Yeah idk it's all very silly. Maybe in the future having to admit it will be something that will stop happening. I hope so anyway. I doubt my Mum has told him anyhow. She lives in Ireland and they're divorced and my parents generally hate each other. :laugh:

When I'm at Uni i'll probably be more comfortable telling everyone anyway. I don't mind talking about it behind a keyboard, but irl it's a totally different story.

[Saph]

..it's really easy when you're young to think that being 20yrs and not a teenager anymore is 'old'..but it's really not Saph...a good way of deciding what you want to do is to do some work placements if you can...things that you think might be interesting or suit you...I mean you might yet be famous and living in LA at some point but you have to have something to be famous for..and, as you say, you're an independent person, so you could just approach companies/organisations and ask them if you could help in anyway..put together a CV/portfolio...and it's fine not to have a best friend either....not everyone has one, I don't...I just have a few closer friends...

Thank you :) :love:

[Ninastar]

Still confused cause the way i feel about both genders is ****ed up

[Firewire]

Yes. I've always known that I'm gay, I guess. But up until about two years ago I hid it from everyone, including myself. I tried to convince myself otherwise which is why it took so long to come to terms with it. I suppose I didn't want to be gay because if I was I'd have to face up to homophobic people, I wouldn't be able to have a "proper" family and that from my opinion would have been such a difficult life. I knew I found the male body attractive, but I just wanted it to be a phase. I still convinced myself that I found girls attractive when in reality, I didn't. I even convinced myself that I had feelings for a girl, that was the most awkward moment of my life when I told her that I had feelings for her because I actually didn't, but I didn't know that at the time.

I had a close friend. He was male. I spoke to him a lot and made me feel more comfortable about myself. I finally realised that I was gay and there was nothing I could do about it. He gave me the courage that I needed to tell myself but also to tell others. I developed feelings for him, proper feelings, but of course he's straight. We're no longer friends because I found out that he used me and told people the topics of our conversation, so he told everyone I was gay before I did myself. But I didn't know that until a few months ago, I thought I trusted him.

I haven't came out to my family yet, but most people in my school know. I don't know when I'll come to my family, I've thought about it but I just don't know what to say. I'm not sure how long I'll be waiting before I finally have it I me to tell them but I honestly find it difficult to just turn around and say "I'm gay" and honestly, I'm not quite sure why.

[Munchkins]

Yes. I've always known that I'm gay, I guess. But up until about two years ago I hid it from everyone, including myself. I tried to convince myself otherwise which is why it took so long to come to terms with it. I suppose I didn't want to be gay because if I was I'd have to face up to homophobic people, I wouldn't be able to have a "proper" family and that from my opinion would have been such a difficult life. I knew I found the male body attractive, but I just wanted it to be a phase. I still convinced myself that I found girls attractive when in reality, I didn't. I even convinced myself that I had feelings for a girl, that was the most awkward moment of my life when I told her that I had feelings for her because I actually didn't, but I didn't know that at the time.

I had a close friend. He was male. I spoke to him a lot and made me feel more comfortable about myself. I finally realised that I was gay and there was nothing I could do about it. He gave me the courage that I needed to tell myself but also to tell others. I developed feelings for him, proper feelings, but of course he's straight. We're no longer friends because I found out that he used me and told people the topics of our conversation, so he told everyone I was gay before I did myself. But I didn't know that until a few months ago, I thought I trusted him.

I haven't came out to my family yet, but most people in my school know. I don't know when I'll come to my family, I've thought about it but I just don't know what to say. I'm not sure how long I'll be waiting before I finally have it I me to tell them but I honestly find it difficult to just turn around and say "I'm gay" and honestly, I'm not quite sure why.

Honestly that is so awful that he betrayed you like, absolute twat :/, i hope you do eventually manage to tell your family, and gain acceptance from them all..
And don't worry about not having a proper family and that, what even is a proper family tbh? it's just what society percieves as one.

[Firewire]

Honestly that is so awful that he betrayed you like, absolute twat :/, i hope you do eventually manage to tell your family, and gain acceptance from them all..
And don't worry about not having a proper family and that, what even is a proper family tbh? it's just what society percieves as one.

Yeah, and I didn't even know! I honestly must have been so stupid because I knew he had a big mouth but I was like "no, no, he would never" and he obviously did.

Thank you, I don't think the acceptance will be a problem but it's still there in my mind that maybe I won't be, but that's something I will have to face because not everyone is going to accept me for what I am... Some really stupid anti-gay people out there who believe the Bible is everything.

Oh yeah, I realise that now. I do want to have a family and it doesn't bother me any more that it won't be a "traditional" family because traditions are silly.

[armand.kay]

Well i'm not gay but i've often wondered/worried about my future seen as i'm quite an independent person, I cant see myself getting married to someone :\ and plus I have no idea what I want to do with my life which is worrying because i'll be 20 next year so my time to be young and go through education is running out.. and I often worry that i'm wasting my 'young' life away by doing nothing all day, I don't go to parties and stuff because I don't drink or smoke or anything and although i'm quite a popular person in general, I've never had a proper best friend so I've just gotten used to doing stuff by myself.. which sounds sad :laugh: When I was in year 11 I always thought that by the time I was 18 i'd have my whole life planned out and probably be famous living in LA and that hasn't happened (yet).

and I've just noticed this has nothing to do with this thread but here it is anyway :p
Make a sex tape :amazed:

[Joseline]

People used to tell me I am a ****** but I tell them, the only things that i paid for are my teeth, my tits, my hair and my nails. All this ass is real.

[Saph]

People used to tell me I am a ****** but I tell them, the only things that i paid for are my teeth, my tits, my hair and my nails. All this ass is real.

:love:

[Joseline]

:love:

http://24.media.tumblr.com/5ea0cb7b0f5f9c0fb36a339fcf699bb6/tumblr_mgg26oW8mk1qbh0eio1_500.gif
perfection right here baby

[armand.kay]

I've always thought I was straight(which is weird because all my gay friends say they've always known) I have even had crushes on girls :/. It wasn't until I was in year 7 when I developed this huge crush on a boy I realised I may be gay. Right now I'm openly gay but sometimes I still am sexually attracted to women but I've only had one relationship with a girl because Im a bit too camp for most girls :/

[Stu]

I'm bisexual but I don't like having sex with men. That's the only struggle if you could call it that. Sometimes I feel cruel going to gay bars and scoring men only to have to tell them mid making out "I like you but this is as far as it goes, you know that?". Heck having a cuddle and getting a blowjob with a woman is better than sex, too. Sex isn't overrated - most people love it - but me personally it's not a priority. I fine it quite boring.

The other bollocks is that I do waaaay better with men than I do with women and I kind of would rather if it was the other way around. But I like going out wearing nail paint, black eyeshadow, sometimes there is glitter, I have hair that belongs in a 1986 copy of Smash Hits! etc and whilst that's who I am and what I love and I wouldn't change it to to increase my odds the fact is that it is something gay men will go for and be comfortable with way more than straight women.

To that end most of the women I've got with with are bisexual or at least extremely open to experimentation as well.

[Marcus.]

no never

[Joseline]

Sex isn't overrated - most people love it - but me personally it's not a priority. I fine it quite boring.

Your obviously not doing it right. When me and Stebie get down mmhhmmm
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8ltzyuchN1qbh0eio2_500.gif

[Stu]

Nothing turns me on more than a good gimmick poster.

I really want to listen to Marvin Gaye now for some reason. That would set a mood.

[thesheriff443]

i never question my sexuality, but i have had look's from gay guy's and comment's i take it as a compliment, if a nice person who is gay give's me the eye.

[Benjamin]

Your obviously not doing it right. When me and Stebie get down mmhhmmm
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8ltzyuchN1qbh0eio2_500.gif

Why does everything you post have to end in a "sassy" gif? It's a tad annoying.


But yes, sex for just having sex is overrated. Much better to have sex with someone you actually connect with and spend a lot of time with as you get to know each other a lot and know what's good and what's not. I got over one night stands a few years ago. Waking up drunk, not remembering the sex, where I am or their name got pretty boring.

[Niamh.]

I struggle with your sexuality alot Ben :'(

[thesheriff443]

I struggle with your sexuality alot Ben :'(

get him drunk niamh:joker:, as he as said he wont remember in the morning:shocked:

[Stu]

Why does everything you post have to end in a "sassy" gif? It's a tad annoying.


But yes, sex for just having sex is overrated. Much better to have sex with someone you actually connect with and spend a lot of time with as you get to know each other a lot and know what's good and what's not. I got over one night stands a few years ago. Waking up drunk, not remembering the sex, where I am or their name got pretty boring.
Drunk sex is just awful. Not being able to have a clear memory of it, not being able to soberly take in every little sensation and what not ... alcohol just does nothing for sex. It's amazing that so many people are pissed when they have it off.

Stoned sex ... is another story.

[Joseline]

Why does everything you post have to end in a "sassy" gif? It's a tad annoying.


http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9hynnXuS81qjvwl2o1_500.gif

[Benjamin]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9hynnXuS81qjvwl2o1_500.gif

Yeah, it's not a reason to post more. It's spamming. Please stop.

[Benjamin]

I struggle with your sexuality alot Ben :'(


Grow a penis and I'm all yours, babydoll. ;)

[Stu]

Character posters are so ZzZzZz.

[Niamh.]

Grow a penis and I'm all yours, babydoll. ;)

:laugh:

[GypsyGoth]

There was a time I struggled with it, and it was a pretty big worry. It once seemed like the most important thing in the world to me.

I've had two relationships with guys, and I think that confirmed to me that I wasn't hetro. But I still felt massive pressure to conform. I think life would be way easier being like most other people.

The only family member I've talked to in detail has been my sister, and she's been a massive help. And since I'm not dating anyone, I don't feel the need to announce my sexuality to relatives (even if I was, I think I'd keep it quiet).

[Firewire]

And since I'm not dating anyone, I don't feel the need to announce my sexuality to relatives (even if I was, I think I'd keep it quiet).

I think I feel a bit like this. I'm not dating anyone so I haven't told my family. If I got into a relationship, then I think I'd tell them but I don't feel like I've "needed" to tell them at the moment.

[Ninastar]

There was a time I struggled with it, and it was a pretty big worry. It once seemed like the most important thing in the world to me.

I've had two relationships with guys, and I think that confirmed to me that I wasn't hetro. But I still felt massive pressure to conform. I think life would be way easier being like most other people.

The only family member I've talked to in detail has been my sister, and she's been a massive help. And since I'm not dating anyone, I don't feel the need to announce my sexuality to relatives (even if I was, I think I'd keep it quiet).

I didn't know you spoke to your sister about it. That's sweet.

[Amy Jade]

Don't know it it counts but I always have crushes on gay guys lol

[Black Dagger]

I wouldn't say I've ever struggled, I struggled to come out to my parents and I don't know why because quite frankly, they were so supportive and I knew they would be. Ever since I've known though, I've accepted it and if people didn't, I'd move on with my life, I've never ever thought though (maybe once and only for a few minutes) that I wanted to be straight in life, I've always been comfortable.

[Jack_]

Only in the sense of having to work out what the bloody hell I like :laugh: I seem to prefer guys in terms of physical attraction, i.e. most people I fancy (especially in the public eye) seem to be men, but with sexual and emotional attraction it's pretty much 90% towards women, which is quite confusing to say the least.

I've kind of just resigned myself to be open to anything. If I fall in love with a guy one day, so be it. I'll experiment with guys too at some point. I've given up on trying to define it, it's just fluid and I'm cool with it. For that reason I've never really felt the need to 'come out' as such, and so I've never really struggled with it in that respect, though I know that if I ever did fall in love with a guy then that'd obviously be the time to have to explain all...

I also don't see the point in labelling myself as anything either because it doesn't seem to be strictly defined for me as I've explained, but I just call myself bi because it's easier than having to explain all of this :p

[Stu]

You may have misinterpreted me there. I prefer girls almost always, including physical attraction.

[Ryan.]

Wow there are a lot of LGBT on this forum :P

[Jack_]

You may have misinterpreted me there. I prefer girls almost always, including physical attraction.

Ah I see, sorry :p

[Stu]

No problem, fag :wink:.

[thesheriff443]

No problem, fag :wink:.

thats not even funny:nono:

[Jack_]

No problem, fag :wink:.

:joker:

[Stu]

Well if Jack finds it offensive I'll delete it, sweetheart.

[Black Dagger]

Wow there are a lot of LGBT on this forum :P

It's a Big Brother forum, is it any surprise? :joker:

[Munchkins]

However though as much as i like men, i dont ever think i want to date and its really difficult. The thought of me succombing and allowing myself to completely be someones other half, makes me just feel ill, i just never want to give myself to someone.. and it's not just about being scared of getting hurt, which i am! i just could never desire to wanting to be someones forever.. and having that full time commitment which is just awful, i like my independence, and i just don't think id ever fit a relationship.
So in all honesty my feelings are pretty messed up but not sexually

[thesheriff443]

Well if Jack finds it offensive I'll delete it, sweetheart.

no, its all good!, treacle

[Drew.]

However though as much as i like men, i dont ever think i want to date and its really difficult. The thought of me succombing and allowing myself to completely be someones other half, makes me just feel ill, i just never want to give myself to someone.. and it's not just about being scared of getting hurt, which i am! i just could never desire to wanting to be someones forever.. and having that full time commitment which is just awful, i like my independence, and i just don't think id ever fit a relationship.
So in all honesty my feelings are pretty messed up but not sexually

i'll second that

[Munchkins]

However though as much as i like men, i dont ever think i want to date and its really difficult. The thought of me succombing and allowing myself to completely be someones other half, makes me just feel ill, i just never want to give myself to someone.. and it's not just about being scared of getting hurt, which i am! i just could never desire to wanting to be someones forever.. and having that full time commitment which is just awful, i like my independence, and i just don't think id ever fit a relationship.
So in all honesty my feelings are pretty messed up but not sexually

Also my OCD is so bad, and i think i'd always judge someone? id never feel they were good enough and im just too clingy id either be standoffish in an effort not to be.. or would just be an irritant
basically im not cut out to date someone, and thats just how it is :LL

[Stu]

no, its all good!, treacle
Then pick somebody elses dick to sit on for the night.

[thesheriff443]

However though as much as i like men, i dont ever think i want to date and its really difficult. The thought of me succombing and allowing myself to completely be someones other half, makes me just feel ill, i just never want to give myself to someone.. and it's not just about being scared of getting hurt, which i am! i just could never desire to wanting to be someones forever.. and having that full time commitment which is just awful, i like my independence, and i just don't think id ever fit a relationship.
So in all honesty my feelings are pretty messed up but not sexually

your very young, and there is no rush, enjoy life, what will be will be.

[Ninastar]

I don't care about dating anyone. Like at all. I cant imagine myself being all cuddly with a guy nor can I imagine myself kissing one. But I could have sex with one easily. That's all I want from guys but with girls it's different. I'd be able to kiss/cuddle/do everything with girls.

[Z]

Yeah definitely. I've bounced between thinking I'm all sorts of things and now have come to the (current) conclusion that I'm asexual-bisexual. I don't enjoy physical intimacy really, it's not something that I think about and I kind of hate it while it's happening, it's not really enjoyable for me. It makes it difficult meeting people. I came out to my parents as gay when I was in a gay relationship; my dad was very supportive but my mum's never really said that she's okay with it but they still love and support me in all my other endeavours so I don't think it's a big deal. I think she especially would be delighted if I settled down with a girl one day. I'm in a pretty good place right now, I'm very single, not attached to anyone emotionally and my life revolves around my academic pursuits, my job and my friends and family. I don't think I would be able to provide another person with a loving relationship at this stage in my life, I have too much that I want to do before I settle down in any way. I think it's perhaps better too, that I stay single for now, while I still work through my thoughts and emotions on the matter.

[Ryan.]

It's a Big Brother forum, is it any surprise? :joker:

I really didn't think there would be such an overlap :P

[Stu]

Yeah definitely. I've bounced between thinking I'm all sorts of things and now have come to the (current) conclusion that I'm asexual-bisexual. I don't enjoy physical intimacy really, it's not something that I think about and I kind of hate it while it's happening, it's not really enjoyable for me. It makes it difficult meeting people. I came out to my parents as gay when I was in a gay relationship; my dad was very supportive but my mum's never really said that she's okay with it but they still love and support me in all my other endeavours so I don't think it's a big deal. I think she especially would be delighted if I settled down with a girl one day. I'm in a pretty good place right now, I'm very single, not attached to anyone emotionally and my life revolves around my academic pursuits, my job and my friends and family. I don't think I would be able to provide another person with a loving relationship at this stage in my life, I have too much that I want to do before I settle down in any way. I think it's perhaps better too, that I stay single for now, while I still work through my thoughts and emotions on the matter.
A lot here to admire.

Last year was weird for me because I fell in love with someone practically at first sight who instead became my best friend. I chased her in a really lazy way for about two months before she gently pointed out to me that in all that time we had become best friends and it would be just bizarre to change that. I recognized this straight away and there was no 'getting over her' process we just became and still are pretty much platonic soul mates.

I knew in my heart it was never meant to be so I had no problem accepting that. A lot of people found this strange and thought I was being disingenuous with myself because for those two months I was in love with her I was sick. I was just out of this world depressed, stopped using the internet, and drank like a fish. I was in my own bed maybe twice a week tops, other times on friends floors and couches. I'd go for pints between classes and sometimes show up to some with vodka mixed with energy drink because I felt I'm awful and the only way to better this is to publicly put myself on display as the car crash I so desperately wanted to be.

But no I guess I just have that element in me that can get real with myself and switch taps off before the room floods up. That's why the past few months have been so much easier for me. I'm not touching love again for a very, very long time. I can't do all that again. I thought I wanted to be in a relationship for ages but now I've learned to separate physicality and emotion. I get and give all the love I need with my friends and family. Sex is just a fun distraction.

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

no bye

[LemonJam]

Honestly... I've put myself into a really, really messed up situation.

Some of you know I've been in a relationship with a woman for about 4 years. The biggest problem is that I've never really been in love with her, but she's crazy about me. Of course, the sexual attachment was there but I've been waiting and waiting for the emotional attachment to come along, but nothing. Realistically, my feelings towards her aren't really like a relationship, but a friend with benefits, and that's when it hit me.

A few years back I fell in love with one of my best friends (cliche, I know, but yeah...) and it was horrible. Why? Because it was unrequited; he's a straight male. This wasn't just a sexual attachment, but a serious, agonizing emotional attachment. I eventually got over that (after about 4 years...) and since then I could only develop an emotional attraction to males. I hadn't actually realised this fully until recently. Yeah I find women aesthetically pleasing but I don't feel like I could ever love one.

And this realisation has kind of ****ed me up big time. I always thought "Hey, I'm bisexual, I'll just ignore men and focus on women." But I can't do that. I'd never truly be happy, but given my family, my upbringing and being uncontrollably neurotic I don't feel that I'd be happy accepting what is what and being with a man. My Christian parents would probably disown me, I'd lose a LOT of friends (the majority being lads lads... I don't really fit in with girls/feminine people surprisingly), I'd lose my current girlfriend as a best friend for ****ing her up so badly, I wouldn't be able to have kids which is something I've always wanted, I feel like it'd affect my career and as silly as it sounds I hate having that label like there's nothing else to discuss about me.

And there's nothing I can really do. I'm sat here being a coward every day of my life, like I always have been and I'm just repressing it every day and ignoring it, because I've already got so much **** to deal with, but the more I leave it, the more I'm hurting myself and more importantly, the more I'm hurting her. It's so ****ed up and I know that I'm a really awful, awful person for having things the way they are, but I don't want to break her heart, because she's the best friend I could ever have and she's already gone through so much ****.

So to answer the question in short: Yes. In fact I don't have a clue what I am any more. I guess sexually I'm both ways but emotionally I've only ever found myself leaning one way. But I guess I need to sort things out soon and admitting it (here of all ****ing places) is my first step.

[Ninastar]

wow James, it takes some serious balls to admit that. I think I feel the same as you but the opposite...

You do know you'll have to tell her eventually. It sucks and it's a bitch to do, but maybe gradually become less and less attached to her? let her down slowly, you know? If you ever wanna talk to someone, feel free to message me. I'll be here for you :love:

[Stu]

You have to set yourself free James. You'll be setting her free too. Regardless of what she will think about you the fact is you've been living a lie for a very long time and that can't be healthy. There is no way I could have gone through with all of that. I respect that everyone is different though.

Chances are your parents will be fine with your sexuality. If they're not well then that's something you cannot control. Your friends I'm guessing will be fine with it too. Being a lads lad does not necessarily mean you have to be homophobic. If you do lose one or two friends ... well I wouldn't want to be friends with that person. Life is ****ing long - that's what they don't tell you, everyone says it's short - and you'll have plenty of time to throw yourself out into the world to make better replacement friends. Career? Pfft. Labeling? That's a very interesting point but no. It's bollocks. You'll be more than just James-who-likes-the-boys.

I appreciate that you're in a very, very difficult set of circumstances but if you keep going the way you're going it'll never get better and it'll consume you the more you age. You need to take steps to change everything around. Show 'em where the power lies :blush:.

[LemonJam]

Thank you very much Caitlin and Stu :love: as stupid as it sounds I feel like just posting that here is a massive step... damn...

[Shaun]

Oh James :lovedup: ... let's move away to Portugal.

~~~
Spoilering this because length.

I was very late to the whole sexual attraction side of life and I really hate how that worked out... all of my friends were getting freaky and messy around the ages of 14-16 and I never really felt anything until I was 18. I masturbated I guess but anyone can do that... and the annoying thing is I was a pretty teenager :idc: So now I'm a mess it's like... window shopping.

I come from a kinda low-class family, where everyone lives up to stereotypes and the men are builders and drink a lot and watch football and do the DIY... I was fine until I was about 12 really when I found other friends who did exotic things like shopping and going to the cinema rather than playing football and video games.

A lot of what I'm typing sounds like I'm blaming my friends and family for my awkwardness and I hope it doesn't sound like that. It is what it is, and I'm happy with who I am and everything.

So obviously the realisation I liked guys more than I liked girls hit me around the age of 16 (which, again, is ridiculously late :/) and for a while I just stayed in the closet to everyone... I don't know why, in retrospect, because like 80% of the guys in our friend group are gay or bisexual. I was just quiet I guess. The biggest problem with coming out is that my mum isn't... well she isn't homophobic, and she maintains she isn't bigoted to anyone. But she gets really worked up about race and sexuality and all your typical "oh this is new ugh let's judge it" stuff. So I never came out to her, until she asked me if I was gay. I just said "a bit" and went on to elaborate...

That's the main problem, really, and the fact it's so insignificant should really say that I don't have any problems with my sexuality: I hate having to define myself. Friends and classmates and so on will just refer to me as gay, and in a way, it's so much easier than having to say "oh Shaun you're bisexual with an inclination towards men above women what do you think of James Franco?" rather than "Shaun you big gay - would you blow Franco?"
And it's such a whiney complaint that I'm aware irritates people - that whole "I'M A PERSON I CAN'T BE LABELLED" rant that adolescents devote so much time to - but there are moments where I'm just referred to as an example of a demographic. You don't really get that with straight people. "Oh Dave, you're a straight guy, what do you think of this dress".

But then I request Beyonce 49 times on nights out so I probably deserve it.

Anyway the major problem was one touched upon by a couple of other members here - falling in love with a straight best friend. It sucked. He was kinda down and out after failing to get into our college and splitting up with his girlfriend and everything, and I just took this "shoulder to lean on" role... at this point I was still just a friend and didn't feel anything. But I grew feelings and came out to him, and my friends, when I was 19. He was cool about it and didn't reciprocate obviously so I was pretty happy with that, but I dunno... I think your first love is too crazy and new and obsessive... that or it's just me... and I just kept hoping something would change in his head LOL or something. Eventually it got to the stage where I would get really excited and angsty if he so much as posted on my Facebook. Anyway, around this year we were all taking a year off and just messing around and partying, really, and there was this night I ended up sharing a bed with him and I... ugh... this is just really cringey in retrospect because of how I'm ambivalent towards him now LOL... kept stroking his chest and everything and it was just, I don't know, I took it as some form of intimacy or something. I reasoned with myself that straight guys would find that weird and tell their gay friend to piss off and leave them alone.

2009 was a pretty awful year all around for me as most people know - I lost my dad and older brother, both suddenly, within 5 months of each other. And I don't want to blame them for what happened, but I was in a really messed up place and wasn't processing grief and so on... and another party arose and a similar situation as the one above, and I just went out of control and yeah... I don't like talking about it... and everyone who knows me most on here knows the *details* if you want to call them that, but I just ****ed everything up and he flipped out and... yeah. We didn't speak for months, and our friendship group was pretty awkward for a while because we've all known each other since 2004. I tried to extend olive branches and it was still really awkward but he agreed to come to some Christmas party I was hosting, and that was... odd.. but everything was civil for a while.

The next year (2010) he sodded off abroad for a year... and eh. I kept seeing all these comments and messages he'd exchange with his other friends about how I was a creep, a pervert, whatever. I can't remember exactly. It's just that I'd spent every day poring over what I did and feeling intense shame and it just felt like that was the first time I was validated to be ashamed of myself, and I got angry because I was under the impression we'd made up, so I deleted him from my phone and facebook and everything. Didn't speak for a year. I was still angry with myself for what I did (and still am) and really wanted to move on so I thought removing all trace of him would work LOL. Obviously he inevitably came back and sought to hang out with the same friends and I had to explain I was ignoring him... and he got ****ty again with me...

Around this point I lose clarity because, and this is the one piece of good news about this story :tongue:, I've genuinely moved on. I've stopped over-analysing every interaction and stopped obsessing over him and caring about everything he does and watches and listens to. So since then it's been a really gradual reconciliation, and we're friends again. We don't really see each other more than 10 times a year now because of university and time constraints and work and so on, but things are good now.

In a way I do miss 2009 because it was such an emotional awakening after a teenage-hood of relative boredom, and it really is an amazing feeling falling in love and having all these outbursts of affection for a person... but it's just a shame that it was wasted on someone incompatable :laugh:

[Ammi]

Honestly... I've put myself into a really, really messed up situation.

Some of you know I've been in a relationship with a woman for about 4 years. The biggest problem is that I've never really been in love with her, but she's crazy about me. Of course, the sexual attachment was there but I've been waiting and waiting for the emotional attachment to come along, but nothing. Realistically, my feelings towards her aren't really like a relationship, but a friend with benefits, and that's when it hit me.

A few years back I fell in love with one of my best friends (cliche, I know, but yeah...) and it was horrible. Why? Because it was unrequited; he's a straight male. This wasn't just a sexual attachment, but a serious, agonizing emotional attachment. I eventually got over that (after about 4 years...) and since then I could only develop an emotional attraction to males. I hadn't actually realised this fully until recently. Yeah I find women aesthetically pleasing but I don't feel like I could ever love one.

And this realisation has kind of ****ed me up big time. I always thought "Hey, I'm bisexual, I'll just ignore men and focus on women." But I can't do that. I'd never truly be happy, but given my family, my upbringing and being uncontrollably neurotic I don't feel that I'd be happy accepting what is what and being with a man. My Christian parents would probably disown me, I'd lose a LOT of friends (the majority being lads lads... I don't really fit in with girls/feminine people surprisingly), I'd lose my current girlfriend as a best friend for ****ing her up so badly, I wouldn't be able to have kids which is something I've always wanted, I feel like it'd affect my career and as silly as it sounds I hate having that label like there's nothing else to discuss about me.

And there's nothing I can really do. I'm sat here being a coward every day of my life, like I always have been and I'm just repressing it every day and ignoring it, because I've already got so much **** to deal with, but the more I leave it, the more I'm hurting myself and more importantly, the more I'm hurting her. It's so ****ed up and I know that I'm a really awful, awful person for having things the way they are, but I don't want to break her heart, because she's the best friend I could ever have and she's already gone through so much ****.

So to answer the question in short: Yes. In fact I don't have a clue what I am any more. I guess sexually I'm both ways but emotionally I've only ever found myself leaning one way. But I guess I need to sort things out soon and admitting it (here of all ****ing places) is my first step.

...you're admitting things to yourself James..and to friends on here as well..so maybe you feel it's time to set everyone free, including yourself..?..

...often the fear/worry of people's reactions are far worse than the reality...


....:love::hug:

[Mystic Mock]

Well up until I was 12 I thought I was asexual and it's took me until last year to get used to being hetrosexual, and even then I've still got alot to improve on like being more comfortable to say that I find a girl attractive, I bet my family might think I'm homosexual because I hardly ever talk about girls.

[thesheriff443]

Well up until I was 12 I thought I was asexual and it's took me until last year to get used to being hetrosexual, and even then I've still got alot to improve on like being more comfortable to say that I find a girl attractive, I bet my family might think I'm homosexual because I hardly ever talk about girls.

mock i will dress as a girl and you can turn on the magic:xyxwave::joker:

[Mystic Mock]

mock i will dress as a girl and you can turn on the magic:xyxwave::joker:

:joker:

[Ninastar]

if anything, I'd say I was bisexual. At the end of the day, all it comes down to is who you'd have sex with, right?

[MeMyselfAndI]

Honestly... I've put myself into a really, really messed up situation.

Some of you know I've been in a relationship with a woman for about 4 years. The biggest problem is that I've never really been in love with her, but she's crazy about me. Of course, the sexual attachment was there but I've been waiting and waiting for the emotional attachment to come along, but nothing. Realistically, my feelings towards her aren't really like a relationship, but a friend with benefits, and that's when it hit me.

A few years back I fell in love with one of my best friends (cliche, I know, but yeah...) and it was horrible. Why? Because it was unrequited; he's a straight male. This wasn't just a sexual attachment, but a serious, agonizing emotional attachment. I eventually got over that (after about 4 years...) and since then I could only develop an emotional attraction to males. I hadn't actually realised this fully until recently. Yeah I find women aesthetically pleasing but I don't feel like I could ever love one.

And this realisation has kind of ****ed me up big time. I always thought "Hey, I'm bisexual, I'll just ignore men and focus on women." But I can't do that. I'd never truly be happy, but given my family, my upbringing and being uncontrollably neurotic I don't feel that I'd be happy accepting what is what and being with a man. My Christian parents would probably disown me, I'd lose a LOT of friends (the majority being lads lads... I don't really fit in with girls/feminine people surprisingly), I'd lose my current girlfriend as a best friend for ****ing her up so badly, I wouldn't be able to have kids which is something I've always wanted, I feel like it'd affect my career and as silly as it sounds I hate having that label like there's nothing else to discuss about me.

And there's nothing I can really do. I'm sat here being a coward every day of my life, like I always have been and I'm just repressing it every day and ignoring it, because I've already got so much **** to deal with, but the more I leave it, the more I'm hurting myself and more importantly, the more I'm hurting her. It's so ****ed up and I know that I'm a really awful, awful person for having things the way they are, but I don't want to break her heart, because she's the best friend I could ever have and she's already gone through so much ****.

So to answer the question in short: Yes. In fact I don't have a clue what I am any more. I guess sexually I'm both ways but emotionally I've only ever found myself leaning one way. But I guess I need to sort things out soon and admitting it (here of all ****ing places) is my first step.
You're a real strong person :love:
I hope things get better.