I Slap my 14 year Old Daughter - mother says its part of loving

[arista]

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/02/05/article-2273565-0F56BE7E00000578-156_634x439.jpg
Mother and daughter: Last week, Shona hit her
14-year-old daughter Flo (pictured)
after she slammed a door in her face

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2273565/SHONA-SIBARY-I-know-horrified-But-I-slap-14-year-old-daughter.html#ixzz2K1ER6Kqd



Feel The Force

[Niamh.]

Slapping a 14 year old? No, that's wrong, you'd be arrested if you hit somebody elses 14 year old so why is it ok to hit your own?

[arista]

Slapping a 14 year old? No, that's wrong, you'd be arrested if you hit somebody elses 14 year old so why is it ok to hit your own?


No
The Brat Slammed her Door on her mums Face


Thats a Outrage

[Niamh.]

No
The Brat Slammed her Door on her mums Face


Thats a Outrage

She didn't physically touch her mother and she doesn't deserve to be physically touched back.

[Vanessa]

I think it's wrong. I was hit a lot as a child and it's still affecting me.

[arista]

No Arrest
as she left no mark


Sign Of The Times

[AnnieK]

I was smacked as a child and it did me no harm, I don't resent my parents for it at all, I always knew how far to push it with my mum (my dad was and still is the biggest softy so it was down to mum to discipline). I think she only ever did it 3 times or so but I learned to back off when I knew I had pushed her far enough and I would never have dared to behave like the girl in the article did....Having said that, I have never and have no intention of smacking my son.

[arista]

I was smacked as a child and it did me no harm, I don't resent my parents for it at all, I always knew how far to push it with my mum (my dad was and still is the biggest softy so it was down to mum to discipline). I think she only ever did it 3 times or so but I learned to back off when I knew I had pushed her far enough and I would never have dared to behave like the girl in the article did....Having said that, I have never and have no intention of smacking my son.


Yes it can help in future life

[Ramsay]

How can she slap??

[Niamh.]

How can she slap??

:laugh2:

[JamesBond007]

Slapping a 14 year old? No, that's wrong, you'd be arrested if you hit somebody elses 14 year old so why is it ok to hit your own?

Sadly the way some youths of today behave i think a slap would have been good in some cases.

do i agree in slapping? yes it did me no harm and made me respect people. But every parent has there own way of doing things. so one shouldn't look down on either side and preach.

[Niamh.]

Sadly the way some youths of today behave i think a slap would have been good in some cases.

do i agree in slapping? yes it did me no harm and made me respect people. But every parent has there own way of doing things. so one should look down on either side and preach.

Why not? I feel strongly that physically putting your hands on someone else is wrong, if you did it to a stranger you'd end up in court so why should it be ok to do it to your own child?

[Marc]

http://i50.tinypic.com/io3fr4.png

[JamesBond007]

Why not? I feel strongly that physically putting your hands on someone else is wrong, if you did it to a stranger you'd end up in court so why should it be ok to do it to your own child?

Cause thats your child. You bought that child into this world and until he or she is 18.They live by your rules. I'm not saying punch the child but a slap behind the legs when they've done some naughty just to make sure they won't do it again. Taught me a few things in life and i feel i'm a well adjusted man.

[JamesBond007]

http://i50.tinypic.com/io3fr4.png

I think the door did her some damage :joker:

[Niamh.]

Cause thats your child. You bought that child into this world and until he or she is 18.They live by your rules. I'm not saying punch the child but a slap behind the legs when they've done some naughty just to make sure they won't do it again. Taught me a few things in life and i feel i'm a well adjusted man.

Having brought a child into the world shouldn't give you the right to physically assault it.

[JamesBond007]

Having brought a child into the world shouldn't give you the right to physically assault it.

I think you every right to slap him or her if the child is misbehaving. you feed and cloth the child. I'm only saying slapping the child behind the legs. I'm not saying beaten the child black and blue here. The way i see children act towards adults today is a disgrace. If that was in my day you'd have got a slap. Maybe some parents need to start telling children whats wrong or right then if they don't want to slap them instead of spoiling them.

[arista]

I think the door did her some damage :joker:


It was a Shock
for sure

[Niamh.]

I think you every right to slap him or her if the child is misbehaving. you feed and cloth the child. I'm only saying slapping the child behind the legs. I'm not saying beaten the child black and blue here. The way i see children act towards adults today is a disgrace. If that was in my day you'd have got a slap. Maybe some parents need to start telling children whats wrong or right then if they don't want to slap them instead of spoiling them.

I have two children, who are extremely well behaved and polite, neither of whom I've ever raised a hand to, using violence (and slapping is violence) is lazy parenting.

[JamesBond007]

I have two children, who are extremely well behaved and polite, neither of whom I've ever raised a hand to, using violence (and slapping is violence) is lazy parenting.

I'm sure your a loving Parent :) and i'm happy to hear you don't raise your hand to your children

Lazy parenting maybe but effective. Different time Niamh Parents didn't read magazines or self help books back then. My Parents, i'm the luckiest guy in the world to have had great parents, so i don't hold any grudges.

[Livia]

I think if someone wants to discipline their own kid with a slap then that's up to them. So long as that person is quite clear on the difference between slapping a child as a punishment, and beating the crap out of them. I was slapped a few times as a kid and I can say with my hand on my heart that I deserved it, I knew why it had happened and I never thought for one moment I was abused or that my parents didn't love me.

[Niamh.]

I'm sure your a loving Parent :) and i'm happy to hear you don't raise your hand to your children

Lazy parenting maybe but effective. Different time Niamh Parents didn't read magazines or self help books back then. My Parents, i'm the luckiest guy in the world to have had great parents, so i don't hold any grudges.

And I'm not saying you should, it was just acceptable back then. I remember my mother used to threaten us with the wooden spoon...............she never actually hit us with it though :laugh:

[Niamh.]

I think if someone wants to discipline their own kid with a slap then that's up to them. So long as that person is quite clear on the difference between slapping a child as a punishment, and beating the crap out of them. I was slapped a few times as a kid and I can say with my hand on my heart that I deserved it, I knew why it had happened and I never thought for one moment I was abused or that my parents didn't love me.

I would guess that most of the time a slap is given to a child as a reaction in anger rather than as a thought out punishment, as in the example in the article.

[Livia]

I would guess that most of the time a slap is given to a child as a reaction in anger rather than as a thought out punishment, as in the example in the article.

I don't agree with 'most of the time', but I will go with 'some of the time'

Anyway... Marc likes it.

[JamesBond007]

And I'm not saying you should, it was just acceptable back then. I remember my mother used to threaten us with the wooden spoon...............she never actually hit us with it though :laugh:

When i hit 8 years old (i'm now 32) thats when i got the same wooden spoon or i tell your dad your been bold treatment. Never got smacked from that day forward. Just got the silent treatment if i got into trouble but to be fair i never was bad. Just as you said it was acceptable bck then.

[Niamh.]

I don't agree with 'most of the time', but I will go with 'some of the time'

Anyway... Marc likes it.

Marc is the exception to the rule tbf :pipe:

When i hit 8 years old (i'm now 32) thats when i got the same wooden spoon or i tell your dad your been bold treatment. Never got smacked from that day forward. Just got the silent treatment if i got into trouble but to be fair i never was bad. Just as you said it was acceptable bck then.

I think it's worse the older your child gets too........I don't really agree with it ever but I can see some logic behind giving a toddler a smack to stop them from doing something that might be dangerous. I think hitting a teenager is just wrong on so many levels

[Jesus.]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyqmd8JZDc1qgvna8o1_400.gif

[JamesBond007]

I think it's worse the older your child gets too........I don't really agree with it ever but I can see some logic behind giving a toddler a smack to stop them from doing something that might be dangerous. I think hitting a teenager is just wrong on so many levels

Plus it looked slightly silly when your taller and stronger then your Dad and he tries to smack you :joker:. But yeah when your 13/14 years of old been given out too is the normal thing to do but smacking is a bit silly. But sadly a lot of children and teenagers are put through worse things by Parents that don't care.

[Marc]

I don't agree with 'most of the time', but I will go with 'some of the time'

Anyway... Marc likes it.

Well

[arista]

I think if someone wants to discipline their own kid with a slap then that's up to them. So long as that person is quite clear on the difference between slapping a child as a punishment, and beating the crap out of them. I was slapped a few times as a kid and I can say with my hand on my heart that I deserved it, I knew why it had happened and I never thought for one moment I was abused or that my parents didn't love me.



Yes
Very True

[Niamh.]

Plus it looked slightly silly when your taller and stronger then your Dad and he tries to smack you :joker:. But yeah when your 13/14 years of old been given out too is the normal thing to do but smacking is a bit silly. But sadly a lot of children and teenagers are put through worse things by Parents that don't care.

This is true

[Jack_]

Resorting to violence in any aspect of life is one of the lowest things you can do. Resorting to violence and physical abuse when disciplining your child is even worse. Uncalled for, lazy and morally wrong.

Excluding self-defence, violence is and never will be the answer. To anything.

[Ammi]

..it sounds like a parent who had no control over a situation and hit out...not really the way to resolve anything imo, except showing her daughter how not to act when you lose control.....

[Munchkins]

I think it's just lazy to slap someone tbh to discipline them, it's better to discuss points on both sides, slapping and hitting shows that the parent is unwilling to discuss what has gone wrong tbh and why the argument has occured..
When you're little maybe a slap on the bum as a punishment is ok, but this girl is 14, so i think hitting is extreme :SS
i've never been hit by my parents, except by a cushion once :p

"Before I even had time to think what I was doing"

shows hitting is not a way for overall effective discipline, its just heat of the moment action..
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2273565/SHONA-SIBARY-I-know-horrified-But-I-slap-14-year-old-daughter.html#ixzz2K2YH65UY
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[Livia]

I have the best set of parents in the world. I couldn't have hoped for better. I love and respect them totally and I consider myself lucky to be their child... and yet I've been slapped once or twice. It's kind of annoying to hear people paint them as "lazy" or " out of control" because they have smacked both me and my brother when we were kids.

People get all wound up by a parent chosing to discipline their own child with a smack. And meanwhile, kids languish in children's homes, suffer abuse and neglect and sometimes die at the hands of violent parents. There are worse things in the world than a smack administered with restraint from a parent who loves you.

[Munchkins]

I have the best set of parents in the world. I couldn't have hoped for better. I love and respect them totally and I consider myself lucky to be their child... and yet I've been slapped once or twice. It's kind of annoying to hear people paint them as "lazy" or " out of control" because they have smacked both me and my brother when we were kids.

People get all wound up by a parent chosing to discipline their own child with a smack. And meanwhile, kids languish in children's homes, suffer abuse and neglect and sometimes die at the hands of violent parents. There are worse things in the world than a smack administered with restraint from a parent who loves you.

Were you 14? i find it fine for a younger child, and i do think it works but i just think its a lot different for a 14 year old tbh :S

[Tom4784]

Having to resort to hitting your kids is a sign of bad parenting, if the only thing they respond to is violence then you've ****ed up somewhere.

[Vanessa]

Having to resort to hitting your kids is a sign of bad parenting, if the only thing they respond to is violence then you've ****ed up somewhere.

Agreed! If you can't talk to your kids then you're doing something wrong.

[arista]

Agreed! If you can't talk to your kids then you're doing something wrong.


But she was talking to the 14 year old
Then Bang - The Door was Slammed in her face

[Ammi]

But she was talking to the 14 year old
Then Bang - The Door was Slammed in her face

..so she reacted back with violence..what lesson does that teach..?...

[Kazanne]

This pretty hard for me to answer as when I look around at some of the kids of today , they seem out of control , rude and inconsiderate , these are the ones from that time when discipline in schools was forbidden and parental discipline challenged , not ALL kids but certainly some take advantage of knowing they cannot be punished much , even by policemen . I think whatever works for you is fine , I got the odd clip around the ear ,but never more than that as I was too afraid to push the boundries ,some kids aren't , infact they seem to delight in being disruptive and rude,so for that reason I think it's not such a good thing not to be able to punish them by a swift clip,my mom and dad were quite strict and today I am quite happy they were,I don't think it is a bad thing if it's not done too much.

[Livia]

Were you 14? i find it fine for a younger child, and i do think it works but i just think its a lot different for a 14 year old tbh :S

By the time I got to 14 I had more respect for my parents than ever to have slammed the door in their face.

[Vanessa]

This pretty hard for me to answer as when I look around at some of the kids of today , they seem out of control , rude and inconsiderate , these are the ones from that time when discipline in schools was forbidden and parental discipline challenged , not ALL kids but certainly some take advantage of knowing they cannot be punished much , even by policemen . I think whatever works for you is fine , I got the odd clip around the ear ,but never more than that as I was too afraid to push the boundries ,some kids aren't , infact they seem to delight in being disruptive and rude,so for that reason I think it's not such a good thing not to be able to punish them by a swift clip,my mom and dad were quite strict and today I am quite happy they were,I don't think it is a bad thing if it's not done too much.

I agree, but some parents go too far. If you make someone bleed then that's assault in my book.

[LemonJam]

I really, really hate these threads. My mum really is the best I could ever ask for and every punishment she's given me has been warranted. I'm not going to have anyone tell me otherwise because not only are they saying she's a bad parent but it's implying I'm poorly raised, which as conceited as it may sound I'm really, really not. :\

Yes it can get taken too far, but from the people I know most people who were smacked/slapped every now and then don't hold a grudge against their parents and in hindsight they can see why they did it.

[Livia]

I really, really hate these threads. My mum really is the best I could ever ask for and every punishment she's given me has been warranted. I'm not going to have anyone tell me otherwise because not only are they saying she's a bad parent but it's implying I'm poorly raised, which as conceited as it may sound I'm really, really not. :\

Yes it can get taken too far, but from the people I know most people who were smacked/slapped every now and then don't hold a grudge against their parents and in hindsight they can see why they did it.

Completelyagree. I thought I was on my own here... It makes me mad to have my wonderful parents' child-rearing skills called into question.

[MTVN]

I really, really hate these threads. My mum really is the best I could ever ask for and every punishment she's given me has been warranted. I'm not going to have anyone tell me otherwise because not only are they saying she's a bad parent but it's implying I'm poorly raised, which as conceited as it may sound I'm really, really not. :\

Yes it can get taken too far, but from the people I know most people who were smacked/slapped every now and then don't hold a grudge against their parents and in hindsight they can see why they did it.

Agree with this, annoys me when people generalise those who occasionally smack their kids as bad parents

[Vanessa]

Occasionally is fine, but not when it's everyday.

[Kazanne]

I agree, but some parents go too far. If you make someone bleed then that's assault in my book.

I think sometimes it's is done out of fright or frustration Vanessa,my little boy is always up to mischief and I have shouted at him as he has scared me sometimes,he is a devil for putting stuff in his mouth(something I have a fear of)he is also sent to the naughty step,I find the thing that works best is taking something off them they like.And no you'de never go so far as to make anyone bleed.:xyxwave:

[Vanessa]

I think sometimes it's is done out of fright or frustration Vanessa,my little boy is always up to mischief and I have shouted at him as he has scared me sometimes,he is a devil for putting stuff in his mouth(something I have a fear of)he is also sent to the naughty step,I find the thing that works best is taking something off them they like.And no you'de never go so far as to make anyone bleed.:xyxwave:

I know toddlers can be really hard work. My two year old nephew is just like Dennis the menace! Always up to no good! :laugh2:

[Niamh.]

Agree with this, annoys me when people generalise those who occasionally smack their kids as bad parents

I'm not saying it makes someone a bad parent, I'm saying that I don't think It's the right way to discipline a child. I just can't see how hitting someone is a good way to teach them right from wrong.

And to those saying well my parents hit me and I'm fine, did they hit you when you were a teenager?

[Vanessa]

I'm not saying it makes someone a bad parent, I'm saying that I don't think It's the right way to discipline a child. I just can't see how hitting someone is a good way to teach them right from wrong.

And to those saying well my parents hit me and I'm fine, did they hit you when you were a teenager?

I agree with you, Niamh. I think it's always wrong. I suppose the occasional slap can do harm, but it's better to talk to the kids instead of hitting them.

[arista]

..so she reacted back with violence..what lesson does that teach..?...


Do Not Cross The Line.



Feel The Force

[Sam:)]

How is hitting a child right? Your supposed to teach your children how to resolve problems etc. Hitting just shows them that you can resolve a problem with hitting... If I hit my girlfriend because she slammed a door on me, would I get in trouble?? Yes. Just use words etc.

[Me. I Am Salman]

I really, really hate these threads. My mum really is the best I could ever ask for and every punishment she's given me has been warranted. I'm not going to have anyone tell me otherwise because not only are they saying she's a bad parent but it's implying I'm poorly raised, which as conceited as it may sound I'm really, really not. :\

Yes it can get taken too far, but from the people I know most people who were smacked/slapped every now and then don't hold a grudge against their parents and in hindsight they can see why they did it.

[4]

[Me. I Am Salman]

http://i50.tinypic.com/io3fr4.png

[2]

[Ammi]

Do Not Cross The Line.



Feel The Force

..there isn't really 'a line' between parent and child, there's just communication and respect and for me what she did, didn't indicate either...I know that slamming a door at your parent isn't respectful either but she's only 14yrs and it's up to her mum to show her a better way to deal with her emotions and in my opinion she didn't...she just responded like for like...

[armand.kay]

Had I slammed that door in my mums face she would of karate kicked the door open and took me out faster than I could say child abuse :laugh:

[armand.kay]

By the time I got to 14 I had more respect for my parents than ever to have slammed the door in their face.
This my mum stopped hitting me when I was like 8 but I still would never think of slamming a door in her face. I mean I've argues with her but I've never disrespected her.

[arista]

..there isn't really 'a line' between parent and child, there's just communication and respect and for me what she did, didn't indicate either...I know that slamming a door at your parent isn't respectful either but she's only 14yrs and it's up to her mum to show her a better way to deal with her emotions and in my opinion she didn't...she just responded like for like...


There is a Line.


Only 14?

She is old enough to Know Better
Fact

[Ammi]

..yeah, I agree she should show more respect to her mum to do that..but then I have to wonder where that rspect is learned...or earned...

[Kizzy]

I think this is laughable.... how we overanalyse simple parent/child relationships nowadays.

[Petershaw1984]

hmmm tough one this.

coming from a childhood where my father eould regularly beat my mother and give me a good smack now and again made me stay on the right path. i would never lift a fonger to my kids ever ever ever.

but i think a teenager at the age of 14 knows the differemce between right and wrong so knows that by slamming a door or answering back is punishable. slapping her on the bum. not that bad. full on beating? never.

[arista]

She was just on Daybreak ITV1HD


The happy 14 year old
seems fine with the line she must not cross

After 3 warnings
they get a Smack,
thats fair.

[Ammi]

She was just on Daybreak ITV1HD


The happy 14 year old
seems fine with the line she must not cross

After 3 warnings
they get a Smack,
thats fair.

..well, that's debatable..and just because she 'seems' fine with it doesn't necessarily mean the situation was handled right by her mother...of course, it also doesn't mean it was wrong either...for me personally, I feel that, it may not do any permanent 'damage' but then the next generation may do the same and the next etc...and there are other ways which aren't always tried first because people react to a situation, 'in the heat of the moment' kind of thing...

..anyway, I'm going to opt out of this thread now because I don't want to offend anyone that I'm saying they have bad parents or anything..I don't think that at all...I'm really just commenting on this particular situation and what happened...but yeah, in general, I don't support the 'smacking option'...but I know it's usually not meant with any sort of intent and is used occasionally by very loving parents.....for me, it's more to do with what I do as a job and feeling there are other ways to communicate how unacceptable someone's behaviour is, but I know that's 'easier said than done' when situations arise like this....

[SharkAttack]

Still a decent thread because it sort of brings together some past issues the older members of this club have perhaps gone through and current ones that our younger generations represent, similar or not. I was raised proudly as a Livia and now parent like an Ammi. Took a few wooden spoons to the backside at a young age, perhaps 7 or 8 (twice or thrice) and one lethal smack straight across the face at 14ish when I said something to my mother at the dinner table about the food she had painstakingly prepared, that was so well-deserved that I would have smacked myself if I had said it now. It was the only time she had lain a bare hand upon me, and the last. She cried for about a week afterwards. In fact, it was me giving apologies afterwards.

Nowadays, it's me talking the kids down from the ceiling, at times, and there is *so* much talking. My God, we talk things through like marriage counselors attempting to repair failing unions. I do sometimes think a light smack in the backside would work wonders, but I don't do that.

Also, the smack across the legs after the near-accident of losing your child to traffic is entirely different. It's like "I DONT *********G want to lose you like this, here or ever, don't ever go out like that again!!" There's more love/fear/adrenaline in that than anything. I *want* that kind of a parent.

[Ammi]

Still a decent thread because it sort of brings together some past issues the older members of this club have perhaps gone through and current ones that our younger generations represent, similar or not. I was raised proudly as a Livia and now parent like an Ammi. Took a few wooden spoons to the backside at a young age, perhaps 7 or 8 (twice or thrice) and one lethal smack straight across the face at 14ish when I said something to my mother at the dinner table about the food she had painstakingly prepared, that was so well-deserved that I would have smacked myself if I had said it now. It was the only time she had lain a bare hand upon me, and the last. She cried for about a week afterwards. In fact, it was me giving apologies afterwards.

Nowadays, it's me talking the kids down from the ceiling, at times, and there is *so* much talking. My God, we talk things through like marriage counselors attempting to repair failing unions. I do sometimes think a light smack in the backside would work wonders, but I don't do that.

Also, the smack across the legs after the near-accident of losing your child to traffic is entirely different. It's like "I DONT *********G want to lose you like this, here or ever, don't ever go out like that again!!" There's more love/fear/adrenaline in that than anything. I *want* that kind of a parent.


..great post SA...:love:....I'm sure you're both a son and a father to be proud of....

[arista]

..great post SA...:love:....I'm sure you're both a son and a father to be proud of....



Look its the Poster that said she is leaving the thread
and has returned


"anyway, I'm going to opt out of this
thread now because I don't want to offend "

[Ammi]

..not to comment on the topic Arista...please don't be rude, it isn't necessary...

[SharkAttack]

..great post SA...:love:....I'm sure you're both a son and a father to be proud of....

Thank you, Ammi. http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp32/sharkattack_torrential/sHa_thankyouvery.gif

And Arista? ... love you. http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp32/sharkattack_torrential/sFun_yoohoo.gif

[Kizzy]

I don't think I slapped my daughter untill she hit 14 tbh.....teens are enough to test the patience of a saint haha