PDA

View Full Version : Can you stay friends with an ex..?...


Ammi
19-02-2013, 11:13 PM
..I know every situation is different and I’m sure that some people can maintain a successful friendship with an ex-partner...but from what I see with my friendship groups, on the whole a no-contact thing seems to work best..I have some friends who have had a very good relationship with their exes for quite a while after the break-up..but eventually, one of them has met someone else, and that has caused problems that could have been avoided if they had made a ‘complete break’ in the first place...

..do you think you can have a deep and lasting friendship with an ex..?...



..obviously I’m not talking about when there are children involved because that contact and a reasonable relationship is very beneficial then....

Annie
19-02-2013, 11:15 PM
Depends why you broke up.

Black Dagger
19-02-2013, 11:16 PM
It'd all depend.

I've never had to experience it. If he cheated on me or like physically abused me then ofc not.

If it was a mutual, best to split decision ofc.

King Gizzard
19-02-2013, 11:17 PM
end on good terms, be friendly but I don't think whatever the circumstance you could remain close friends

Ramsay
19-02-2013, 11:19 PM
Every girlfriend i've had, its been a civil break up and we be nice when we see eachother, but i would hardly count any of them as a friend now, certainly not like we used to be

Joseline
19-02-2013, 11:25 PM
Once we break up, It's either **** buddies or nothing.

InOne
19-02-2013, 11:27 PM
Unless you have kids with them probably no. They would be an ex for a reason.

Kizzy
19-02-2013, 11:31 PM
No, my ex was a nightmare... I was glad to see the back of mine, god i'm a heartless cow lol!

Drew.
19-02-2013, 11:32 PM
id say iv stayed mutual with them but i haven't spoken to any of them in ages.. id speak to them if i saw them but times have moved on and we've all met new people. I'm only at a young age so iv had no serious relationships to really look back on any way

GypsyGoth
20-02-2013, 12:16 AM
Anyone I've considered an ex, nope I've never stayed friends, I still avoid places they might be.

Munchkins
20-02-2013, 12:23 AM
Depends on circumstances
My bf cheated on me, so i prefer to pretend he never existed, i dont even count it anyway we were young so whatevs

AnnieK
20-02-2013, 05:33 AM
I think you can.... I would still consider my ex a fairly close friend. I could still go to him for help and we catch up all the time. It was a really sad break up though, there was no big fight, no cheating just sadness as we both knew it was the end but we had been through so much that it was time to move on from the relationship.

Ammi
20-02-2013, 05:38 AM
..that's kind of nice and sad at the same time Annie..it's good that you feel that you can talk to each other about things and that you both have a good friend but sad that it didn't work out as there was obviously a deep connection between you...that's sometimes the way it works though...there just isn't that thing that makes a 'complete' relationship...and sometimes you both really want that but you can't make it happen, it's there or it's not...

joeysteele
20-02-2013, 08:33 AM
No experience of this myself yet, however I do know of someone who split with the person they lived with and then they both met someone else.
They now regularly go out together and even all go on holiday together.
Accepting they were better being friends than being romatically linked.

I think as others said above, it depends why you broke up in the first place.

Jesus.
20-02-2013, 08:38 AM
Nope - nuclear option every time. No calls, texts, meeting for drinks etc. When people break, up it's very rarely like Annie's where both people genuinely believe it's time. There is always one person that wants it more. It's really just dragging it out and making it more painful.

Cut ties, deal with the ****, then move on.

Roy Mars III
20-02-2013, 08:53 AM
depends on how serious the relationship was when it ended, and how it ended

Vanessa
20-02-2013, 09:12 AM
Sometimes you can. I'm still friends with my ex husband. He's a lovely guy.

SharkAttack
20-02-2013, 09:15 AM
Nope - nuclear option every time. No calls, texts, meeting for drinks etc. When people break, up it's very rarely like Annie's where both people genuinely believe it's time. There is always one person that wants it more. It's really just dragging it out and making it more painful.

Cut ties, deal with the ****, then move on.

This, unfortunately. Very happy to hear about others in more forgiving relationships though.

Ammi
20-02-2013, 09:17 AM
Nope - nuclear option every time. No calls, texts, meeting for drinks etc. When people break, up it's very rarely like Annie's where both people genuinely believe it's time. There is always one person that wants it more. It's really just dragging it out and making it more painful.

Cut ties, deal with the ****, then move on.

..yeah, I think that's the thing..it's often one-sided and can only lead to more pain in the end...

Niamh.
20-02-2013, 09:18 AM
end on good terms, be friendly but I don't think whatever the circumstance you could remain close friends

This pretty much ^ I don't think it's fair on future partners to be too friendly with an ex and it's always very likely that one of the two of you will still be hoping for something more again

thesheriff443
20-02-2013, 09:19 AM
its funny how people end up cheating with their ex.

Vanessa
20-02-2013, 11:23 AM
its funny how people end up cheating with their ex.

It happens a lot! :hugesmile:

Z
21-02-2013, 12:32 AM
I don't think you can ever be friends with an ex, because at one time they got to experience a side to you that you would never share with any of your other friends... so even if you can get on with them as you did before, I don't think it's right to call it friendship, because it's something else.

Z
21-02-2013, 12:33 AM
I'm not friends with any of my exes. I'm friendly with some of them, but they're not my friends. I try my best to move on with my life rather than fester in the past and I think being around an ex is very damaging to that process.

lostalex
21-02-2013, 05:42 AM
I'm good friends with all of my exes. I have good taste in men, so all of my exes are really awesome guys. I can't say a bad word about any of them. Some of my exes i think we should have just been friends from the start, but sometimes it's confusing whether or not it's friendship or a relationship. I've never had a nasty breakup though.

If you hate your exes, just remember, you're the one that chose them. Unless you are a pakistani or indian that had an arranged marriage, you picked them,. so you really can't complain.

smeagol
21-02-2013, 08:47 AM
i speak to my ex's every day and meet up now and then, its not easy. but there is no reason why people shouldn't be friends.
most people when split up put it the past and move on but thats crazy. that means all the time spent was a waste thats no way to live your life. every second is the past anyway.
if they are good enough then people should hold on to the people they care about. not throw it all away.
though depends on the people. some stayin friends would be impossible or require a lot of time. me i'm different lol

lostalex
21-02-2013, 09:03 AM
i speak to my ex's every day and meet up now and then, its not easy. but there is no reason why people shouldn't be friends.
most people when split up put it the past and move on but thats crazy. that means all the time spent was a waste thats no way to live your life. every second is the past anyway.
if they are good enough then people should hold on to the people they care about. not throw it all away.
though depends on the people. some stayin friends would be impossible or require a lot of time. me i'm different lol

i agree. the people i've had relationships with, they were all great people, just because i don't want to have a sexual relationship with them anymore, doesn't mean they are any less awesome. Some of them we actually have a better relationship after we stopped having sex.

One of my exes, he's like a brother to me now, he's amazing and such a good friend. i can honestly say that i love him more now than when we were having a sexual relationship.

Marcus.
21-02-2013, 09:52 AM
i am freinds with my ex

Vanessa
21-02-2013, 10:01 AM
It depends from the person. Sometimes you can, others not.

Mystic Mock
25-02-2013, 05:43 PM
Depends why you broke up.

This.

Patrick
25-02-2013, 06:29 PM
This is weird tbh for me just thinking back, I've had three 'main' exes.

I had massively bad breakups with two of them, and the other one - I cheated on, and she cheated on me - so we both equally ****ed up and accepted that. And now me and her are friends, occasionally have the odd 'encounter' but thats as far as it would go - no relationship again.

One of my other exes, we had a horrible breakup and I was in bits. We ended up despising eachother. And never spoke for a year, then exactly one year after we broke up - she rang me and we've been good mates ever since.

The other ex is abit more complicated, and I don't think I'll ever manage to be friends with her - but that's probably because there's still feelings between us both - so IMO until the feelings and hurt completely die out, you can't be friends.

Me. I Am Salman
25-02-2013, 06:30 PM
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8m88qfkD51r4pp34o1_400.gif

Jesus.
25-02-2013, 06:31 PM
http://cdn.thisisbigbrother.com/customavatars/avatar67510_208.gif

Me. I Am Salman
25-02-2013, 06:32 PM
me

Patrick
25-02-2013, 06:32 PM
#hippy #420 #trip #blaze #gif #dude #retro #van

What of it? :hmph:

AnnieK
25-02-2013, 06:33 PM
My ex is getting married tomorrow....that feels kind of weird....I'm really happy for him but he invited me to the wedding and I can't quite bring myself to go...(although the nosey side of me would love to)

Patrick
25-02-2013, 06:35 PM
My ex is getting married tomorrow....that feels kind of weird....I'm really happy for him but he invited me to the wedding and I can't quite bring myself to go...(although the nosey side of me would love to)

:laugh:

Ammi
25-02-2013, 06:44 PM
My ex is getting married tomorrow....that feels kind of weird....I'm really happy for him but he invited me to the wedding and I can't quite bring myself to go...(although the nosey side of me would love to)

... that must feel quite weird Annie...

AnnieK
25-02-2013, 06:48 PM
... that must feel quite weird Annie...

I thought I was fine with it...I am happy he is happy etc...just feels strange...I can't explain it really...

Ammi
25-02-2013, 06:57 PM
I thought I was fine with it...I am happy he is happy etc...just feels strange...I can't explain it really...

..yeah, I can understand that..I think I would feel strange as well..I guess it would be the association and memories it would conjure...the actual ceremony, I mean..the vows etc..and having 'been there' before with the exact same person....

Gstar
27-02-2013, 12:58 PM
I've stayed friends with my ex's up until this day