Should a man legally have a say in whether his partner has an abortion?

[Vicky.]

Very very controversial and emotive topic this. Please try to keep it 'nice' and not resort to insulting each other over differing viewpoints. Also please dont turn this into a 'pro life' thread. Saying 'noone should ever have an abortion' doesnt help really as I dont think we will ever be at a stage (in the uk anyway) where abortion is not an option..so this situation will always be a problem

At the moment, a woman can chose to ignore a mans wishes totally and abort his child. Or ignore his wishes and go on to have the child, and then expect him to support it aswell.

Some will say the man could just not have sex and thus not have a chance of the woman getting pregnant. But that argument could be used for the woman too..except that if she does fall pregnant..SHE has a choice. He does not.

By not giving the man the choice, you are forcing him to sit back and allow his child to be killed. Or to be responsible for a child he did not want.

However, if the man did have the choice, you are forcing the woman to carry on with a pregnancy that will change her body, change her life, and can in some cases endanger her life too. Or you are forcing her to effectively kill her own child.

I dont think that this is one that will ever have a definitive answer really...as no matter what happens, its unfair on someone. However I agree with things the way they are at the moment. While I appreciate how bad it must be for men to have babies aborted when they desperately want them..or for a man to become a father when he doesnt want to be...I cannot imagine the mental torture of being forced to go through pregnancy and giving birth..or actually going through with an abortion that you do NOT want to have.

[Jake.]

I think that both should have a say. If they are in a loving relationship, they should be able to sit down and talk through their options, coming to an agreement. Having sex is a two-way street, and both should face the aftermath.

[Vicky.]

I think that both should have a say. If they are in a loving relationship, they should be able to sit down and talk through their options, coming to an agreement. Having sex is a two-way street, and both should face the aftermath.

In an ideal world it would work like this. But it doesnt. So many people just screw around with no thoughts of the consequences.

[Jesus.]

Men should have a say, but women should always make the final decision.

[HD]

Men should have a say, but women should always make the final decision.

I agree with this.

I also think you have to take in account peoples situation, age etc..

[joeysteele]

It would be great if they could both talk it through and decide on what to do together.
I do accept,as a man myself, it is also the Man's child too but I still feel it should in the main be the Woman's decision.

[Josy]

Men should have a say apart from in extreme circumstances imo.

[Tom4784]

Men should have a say but women should generally have the last word given that they will be the ones going through the pregnancy.

[Jords]

The man should be influential but to what degree depends on the woman.

[AnnieK]

Men should have a say but ultimately the woman will always have the final say as she is the only person who can carry that child. I would hope that a fathers point of view is listened to but if a woman is going to abort a baby then unfortunately there is not a lot the man can do.

[Ammi]

..I think ideally that if it's a loving relationship then men should have a say too but not necessarily if it's not a relationship or in a case of rape etc...

[lostalex]

Of course not. They should have zero say, but they should have to pay for half the cost.

[Lee.]

The child is as much the fathers as the mothers, so yes they should get a say... unless its a rape case of course

[the truth]

women often dont even tell the man....in some cases they lie and tell the wrong person hes the daddy....I think that should be a criminal offence, the longer the lie, the longer time she serves in prison. if she milks money too by doing this then she pays it back plus more prison time

as for dads having a say....well yes its common sense, common decency to allow the father a voice....but these days morality and decency are dead and everything has to be legislated for

perhaps the pregnant woman should have to tell the doctor , who the father is....then he in turn has a duty to inform the father and the father be offered some kind of consultation where the doctor is present....something along those lines. it wont happen for 20 years but feminazis are still scremaing louder than anyone. one day their mindless divisive hateful tirade will be seen as the evil elf defeating self serving bile it is....then perhaps we can make fair progress on this delicate issue

people wonder why so many millions of men throw themselves off bridges around the world (as Ive said before male suicide is 4 to 5 times the female rate in every nation on earth) this is partly because women get infinitely more support in everything they do from the state from the nhs from charities and support groups etc etc also because men are ultimately powerless in all situations.....a woman can divorce a man and almost always get the home, the kids and a lifetimes income....the man gets thrown into the street and loses everything.....if that happened to me id kill myself

then throw in the fact UK is one of the highest abortion rates in the world approx 20% of all pregnancies are aborted....women dont get much support either or advice as the feminazis deem it patronizing to offer the mothers to be options before terminating the pregnancy

so every 6 years theres a million aborted babies.....thats a million men walking around who have had their potential children killed and they were powerless to do anything about it.....many women even do it from spite....women can be evil just like men

so hows it a mans world? they kill themselves at 4 times the rate, die 5 years younger, get falsely accused by anyone and their lives and repuation destroyed, get thrown from the home theyve spent their life building, lose the children theyve loved, get lied to about fatherhood, yet still finance it, work longer hours, yet have far less disposable income and far less spening hours than women, heck in many cases the male hands much of his salary to his wife and kids....how many men do you see spening on the high street? 20% or less? oh but theyre ok to drag you out of burning buildings, getting shot on the front line, building skyscrapers, cleaning the sewers, flying emergency helicopters, fighting in submarines etc etc yeah its a mans world lol

[the truth]

Of course not. They should have zero say, but they should have to pay for half the cost.

everyone tip of the year, ignore this tedious attention seeker:sleep:

[lostalex]

The child is as much the fathers as the mothers, so yes they should get a say... unless its a rape case of course

It's not a child though. It's not a child until it is born. I agree that once it is a child then the parents should have 50/50 say.

[Marsh.]

It's not a child though. It's not a child until it is born.

:rolleyes: A fully formed baby inside of a woman is just as alive and as much a child as one that has been born.

[lostalex]

:rolleyes: A fully formed baby inside of a woman is just as alive and as much a child as one that has been born.


Once it's old enough to live outside of the mother then it is a child. If it's not able to survive outside of the mother, it is not an individual life form.

[arista]

Yes Men should have the say.

[Jake.]

It's not a child though. It's not a child until it is born. I agree that once it is a child then the parents should have 50/50 say.

What about if a woman decided to have an abortion at 7 odd months in behind the mans back??

[Niamh.]

Yes Men should have the say.

I do hope you meant to say "a" say Arista

[Marsh.]

Once it's old enough to live outside of the mother then it is a child. If it's not able to survive outside of the mother, it is not an individual life form.

With the advancement of medicine that is a blurred line. Babies born below the abortion limit have survived.

To say those babies weren't worthy of being regarded as an "individual life" is just sick.

[lostalex]

What about if a woman decided to have an abortion at 7 odd months in behind the mans back??

7 months abortion is illegal i believe.

[Niamh.]

What about if a woman decided to have an abortion at 7 odd months in behind the mans back??

You can't have an abortion at 7 months, can you? I hope not :shocked:

[Jake.]

Sorry, I thought that it was the latest, I might be wrong....

[Jake.]

I think it's 6 months (24 weeks), not 7

[Lee.]

It's not a child though. It's not a child until it is born. I agree that once it is a child then the parents should have 50/50 say.

Aw Alex, of course its a childyou can hear the wee things heart beat at 12 weeks and feel it stir and hiccup and punch soon after. To me my children, were my children even in my tummy, I just hadn't met them yet.

[Vicky.]

Its 24 weeks I think.

Babies are classed as 'viable' at 24 weeks...meaning they have a good chance of survival outside the woman. And if the woman went into labour, the doctors would always try to save it. Before 24 weeks...they dont have to even attempt, though some do it anyway.

However some babies have survived being born earlier than that.

The 24 week limit is way too late IMO, personally I would make it around 12 weeks. But thats a whole other thread :p

[AnnieK]

24 weeks is the legal limit although a medical termination can be carried out past this time if deemed appropriate by medical staff. Unfortunately, one reason they will carry is out is cleft lip and palate which is disgraceful as a simple op at birth can correct that.

24 weeks is far too late IMO anyway but that is currently the limit.

[Z]

It takes two people to create a baby, so I do think it should be an equal decision, but as it is the woman who has to go through the process of being pregnant and giving birth, the decisive say should always lie with the woman. It's tough I think, but it's probably tougher on women, because of that extra responsibility that comes with having a child. In instances where one potential parent wants one thing and the other wants the opposite, it should always be up to the woman to decide - it's her body. Must be horrible to be stuck in that dilemma though.

[Marsh.]

The woman obviously has to go through the actual literal physical side of things so it is a much tougher decision for her, but completely ignoring the opinions/wishes of the father is wrong IMO.

[the truth]

loads more babies born around 22 to 26 weeks survive now as science advances...give the poor babies a chance to live before murdering them.

[Ammi]

Of course not. They should have zero say, but they should have to pay for half the cost.

..if you were in a loving relationship Alex.. and you and your partner made a decision to have a surrogate baby...you were both really excited and it was very much planned and wanted..and then the surrogate decided to abort the baby...would you like to have a say in that decision...ideally, I mean..?...

..I know that perhaps the surrogate may have good reason and that the decision would probably be more hers...and it is as Vicky said, something were there's no definitive answer...the problem is that kind of every abortion would have to be looked at differently and that would never happen....

[Marsh.]

Its 24 weeks I think.

Babies are classed as 'viable' at 24 weeks...meaning they have a good chance of survival outside the woman. And if the woman went into labour, the doctors would always try to save it. Before 24 weeks...they dont have to even attempt, though some do it anyway.

However some babies have survived being born earlier than that.

The 24 week limit is way too late IMO, personally I would make it around 12 weeks. But thats a whole other thread :p

And that breaks my heart. Poor little children.

[Redway]

You can't have an abortion at 7 months, can you? I hope not :shocked:

I don't know the 'ins and outs' of that argument but I think it may be permitted under extreme circumstances, e.g. rape and the possibility of the baby having a severe disability.

[lostalex]

..if you were in a loving relationship Alex.. and you and your partner made a decision to have a surrogate baby...you were both really excited and it was very much planned and wanted..and then the surrogate decided to abort the baby...would you like to have a say in that decision...ideally, I mean..?...

..I know that perhaps the surrogate may have good reason and that the decision would probably be more hers...and it is as Vicky said, something were there's no definitive answer...the problem is that kind of every abortion would have to be looked at differently and that would never happen....

If i ever used a surrogate, I still don't think I should be able to FORCE the surrogate to carry through the pregnancy if she changed her mind. Obviously I would be deeply disappointed, but I would still support her right to choose.

[Redway]

The woman obviously has to go through the actual literal physical side of things so it is a much tougher decision for her, but completely ignoring the opinions/wishes of the father is wrong IMO.

I think that abortion in general is wrong, to be honest...I really wish people wouldn't look it at from a "how developed or underdeveloped is it?" viewpoint. I'm completely in favour of it for rape and all but the ones who use it as a form of contraception are sickening.

[Ammi]

If i ever used a surrogate, I still don't think I should be able to FORCE the surrogate to carry through the pregnancy if she changed her mind. Obviously I would be very disappointed, but I would still support her right to choose.

..no not forcing Alex..I agree, that should never happen..but i think Vicky means 'ideally' should father's be taken into consideration with these decisions...I think in some cases that they should but obviously there would be a lot of things to be considered and the final decision would always probably have to be with the mother because it is her body..but it isn't only her baby...it's quite a difficult one, I think....

[lostalex]

Oh i thought we were talking about legally, should a man have a say in the final decision. And i would say that no, a man should not be able to stop a woman from carrying out her decision.

Obviously any decent human being takes other people's feelings into consideration, but in the end, I think the final decision should be 100% made by the woman.

[Vicky.]

Oh i thought we were talking about legally, should a man have a say in the final decision. And i would say that no, a man should not be able to stop a woman from carrying out her decision.

Obviously any decent human being takes other people's feelings into consideration, but in the end, I think the final decision should be 100% made by the woman.

Yes this is what I meant.

Actually, editing the title to make this clearer :p

[Marsh.]

Depends entirely on the circumstances.

If you have a completely selfish woman having an abortion without consulting the father then that is different to a rape victim or when the father has walked out.

[Ryan57]

A father should have a say. He had a part in the production.

[Jesus.]

The major blow against world poverty will only happen when every woman has control of her own reproductive system.

[lostalex]

Men often purposefully break condoms during sex and pretend "oops i didn't notice it broke".

A lot of men also use getting a woman pregnant as a way to control her and keep her in his life.

[MTVN]

Men often purposefully break condoms during sex and pretend "oops i didn't notice it broke".

A lot of men also use getting a woman pregnant as a way to control her and keep her in his life.

You have a very bizarre view of the world

[Jake.]

Men often purposefully break condoms during sex and pretend "oops i didn't notice it broke".

A lot of men also use getting a woman pregnant as a way to control her and keep her in his life.

Yeah sure :laugh:

[Vicky.]

You have a very bizarre view of the world

Yeah sure :laugh:

I don't think its 'often' at all but I would say that happens sometimes

A bit like how some women will stop taking the pill without telling the man.

[Jake.]

Just like it sometimes happens that a woman lies about being on the pill I suppose

[Vicky.]

Heh, I edited that in just when you posted :laugh:

[Jake.]

LOL :laugh:

[Beastie]

Of course the man should have a say but the over ruled answer should be by the woman because it is her body after all.

[Me. I Am Salman]

Of course the man should have a say but the over ruled answer should be by the woman because it is her body after all.

How does a man take legal action if the woman has the final decision? Or am I just reading it wrong

[Marsh.]

Men often purposefully break condoms during sex and pretend "oops i didn't notice it broke".

A lot of men also use getting a woman pregnant as a way to control her and keep her in his life.

A lot of women do the same.
Does that mean we should tar everyone with the same brush? No.

Then again, you only said that to attempt some "controversy" anyway so moving on.

The whole "it's her body" doesn't sit well with me entirely neither. She's willingly shared her body with someone else and together they've created another person. As much his baby as it is hers IMO.

[Nedusa]

My first thoughts on this are that yes the father must have a say in his child's affairs , but legally the decision to abort the child must rest with the mother as , as I have said in an earlier similar thread, until that child is able to live without the mothers help that child does not have separate rights and up to that point the mother who is keeping the foetus alive has all the rights and legally no one can force her to continue with the pregnancy against her wishes...!!!