'A million children growing up without fathers'

[Omah]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-22820829

A million UK children are growing up without a father in their lives, says a new report on family breakdown.

The Centre for Social Justice report says lone parent families are increasing by more than 20,000 a year, and will top 2,000,000 by the next general election.

In some areas fatherlessness has reached such high levels that they are virtual "men deserts", it adds.

And it accuses politicians on all sides of a "feeble" response.

The report says the number of single parent households has been rising steadily over the past 40 years, and that now 3m children are growing up predominantly with their mothers.

This has led to a huge number of children growing up without a meaningful relationship with their fathers - which the report defines as contact twice a year or more.

The absence of fathers is linked to higher rates of teenage crime, pregnancy and disadvantage, the report says, warning that the UK is experiencing a "tsunami" of family breakdown.

There are 236 pockets of towns in England and Wales where more than 50% of households with dependent children are headed by a lone mother.

And an area in the Manor Castle ward of Sheffield tops the lone parent league table - among households with dependent children, 75% are headed by a lone parent.

Where are all the fathers ? "Lone" or living with someone else ?

:conf:

[arista]

Yes Many of the Mothers on here
I send my Love to them

[Nedusa]

I think one of the reasons we have this depressing statistic is because some fathers are fathering children with two sometimes three girlfriends. Since he cannot live with them all it results in one or two lone parent families. This is more prevalent amongst the black afro-caribbean community.

[Marsh.]

True. When a woman has children with several different men, she tends to have all the children live with her. Obviously not all the fathers can live with the kids in that case.

[Vicky.]

- Women sleeping around and not knowing who the father is
- Men sleeping around and disappearing off the face of the earth, leaving the mother with a baby
- Women finding a new partner and cutting the father out of her kids' life
- Men finding a new partner and not caring about their responsibilities
- Women being petty and refusing to let father see their kids because he has a new partner or refuses to jump through hoops for her
- Fathers refusing to contribute to their children financially/emotionally, so mothers chosing to cut him out
- A lot of women seem to like older men..so fathers dying..
- Its easier for women to leave abusive relationships now..so that probably contributes. Before they would stay with the father as there was no other option, or it was frowned upon to be a single parent
- Courts deciding in the overwhelming majority of cases to award custody to the mother..no matter the circumstances

^Main reasons I think

Whatever the reasons for this rise though, its sad. IMO a child should have both parents in their life whenever possible.

[Niamh.]

Yeah, good post Vicky. The law is very biased in favour of mothers which needs looking at imo

[Brother Leon]

It's not always the case, but Men who ditch their Children must be the non criminals that most piss me off and disgust me. Huge respect to to the great Mothers who still raise the kids brilliantly.

[Kizzy]

Did anyone see this article in the telegraph?
Disgusting opinion here....
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/10100935/Three-babies-by-three-fathers-will-it-be-third-time-lucky-for-Calamity-Kate-Winslet.html

[GiRTh]

Did anyone see this article in the telegraph?
Disgusting opinion here....
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/10100935/Three-babies-by-three-fathers-will-it-be-third-time-lucky-for-Calamity-Kate-Winslet.htmlThe fathers name is Ned Rocknroll? :crazy:

[Benjamin]

"The absence of fathers is linked to higher rates of teenage crime, pregnancy and disadvantage, the report says, warning that the UK is experiencing a "tsunami" of family breakdown."

Bollocks. That will apply to some families/children but I know plenty of children who have grown up in single parent families who are doing amazing things and I know plenty of children who were from two parent families who have gone into nothing.

[fruit_cake]

It does worry me, but only to an extent. It's probably better growing up with one loving parent than two who don't do a very good job. I really think each individual case is different from the next, and these huge generalisations do as much damage as they sort out.

It also concerns me just as much the amount of children growing up in nurseries these days..in extreme cases they are just a few weeks old and get dumped to be looked after all day long. This is sometimes shown as 'good' as obviously it's in the interests of business. I don't think it's good at all though.

[Kizzy]

This is research from the 'no s*** sherlock' society, of course it's beneficial for a child to be raised by both loving and nurturing parents but that isn't always an option, and it does show lone parents in a poor light here.
Unless there is a positive role model in a childs life of both sexes then the child will be at a disadvantage socially.
That is only my opinion.

[Marsh.]

Did anyone see this article in the telegraph?
Disgusting opinion here....
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/10100935/Three-babies-by-three-fathers-will-it-be-third-time-lucky-for-Calamity-Kate-Winslet.html

I don't see the need for that article. As far as I know, Kate Winslet doesn't really talk about her private life much so for the writer to pass judgement when we don't know what brought about the end of her marriages is just cruel.

Granted, it's not ideal to be having several children with different fathers (the same as a man impregnating several different women) but it's nobody else's business but her own.

I'm not usually one to shout "sexism" but I agree with the top comment, if a male actor of Kate's profile had three kids with three wives would this woman have still written an article? I doubt it.

[Kizzy]

I don't see the need for that article. As far as I know, Kate Winslet doesn't really talk about her private life much so for the writer to pass judgement when we don't know what brought about the end of her marriages is just cruel.

Granted, it's not ideal to be having several children with different fathers (the same as a man impregnating several different women) but it's nobody else's business but her own.

Totally, and there has been a right backlash over it even from her fellow writers..
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10103016/Slut-shaming-Kate-Winslet-exposes-sexist-double-standard-applied-to-women.html

[ThisIsNickkk]

It is a worrying statistic, but, I haven't had my father in my life since I was 10 and it hasn't done me any harm.

I think it makes you respect your mother more as well when your father isn't present, not to mention I have gone on to university and have high for the future, which is why it annoys me so much when teenagers who are little ****s blame it on the absence of a parent.

There are several different factors why marriages break down...

[the truth]

"The absence of fathers is linked to higher rates of teenage crime, pregnancy and disadvantage, the report says, warning that the UK is experiencing a "tsunami" of family breakdown."

Bollocks. That will apply to some families/children but I know plenty of children who have grown up in single parent families who are doing amazing things and I know plenty of children who were from two parent families who have gone into nothing.

You are wrong plain and simple. the facts prove that in the enormous majority kids who grow up fatherless are worse off. Fact.

[the truth]

It does worry me, but only to an extent. It's probably better growing up with one loving parent than two who don't do a very good job. I really think each individual case is different from the next, and these huge generalisations do as much damage as they sort out.

It also concerns me just as much the amount of children growing up in nurseries these days..in extreme cases they are just a few weeks old and get dumped to be looked after all day long. This is sometimes shown as 'good' as obviously it's in the interests of business. I don't think it's good at all though.the main problem is the law is too biased in favour of mothers. get the law to be fair and balanced and you solve a lot of problems.

[Kizzy]

Here we go..... haha
From the perspective of primary socialization A positive role model of either sex within the home is beneficial, it doesn't have to be mum and dad...
A change in family law would help, give parents married or unmarried the same rights, this would help both parties no end if they decide to separate.

[the truth]

Here we go..... haha
From the perspective of primary socialization A positive role model of either sex within the home is beneficial, it doesn't have to be mum and dad...
A change in family law would help, give parents married or unmarried the same rights, this would help both parties no end if they decide to separate.

whats the ha ha about?

yes fathers need the same rights as women but that appears not to be on the agenda....so more kids will end up with the worse parent due to bias in the law ruining the lives of millions of kids
no doubt the benefits system also helps institutionalize this breakdown and actually rewards it financially.....the spineless politicians instead of rectifying it head on do the usual cowardly thing and save money by targeting the sick , disabled and elderly....marvellous

[lostalex]

whats the ha ha about?

yes fathers need the same rights as women but that appears not to be on the agenda....so more kids will end up with the worse parent due to bias in the law ruining the lives of millions of kids
no doubt the benefits system also helps institutionalize this breakdown and actually rewards it financially.....the spineless politicians instead of rectifying it head on do the usual cowardly thing and save money by targeting the sick , disabled and elderly....marvellous


fathers don't deserve ANY rights until they first demonstrate that they are taking equal responsibilities. That starts with at the very least taking FINANCIAL responsibility.

If he can't be bothered to provide financial stability, then why should we trust him to provide any kind of emotional stability?

If you can't be bothered to show up for a job regularly, then there's no reason for us to trust them to show up for visits regularly, and it's not fair on a little girl to be told, your dad is coming today, and then he doesn't show up.

If he can't show up for his job, then he has no right to show up to see his little girl.

[the truth]

fathers don't deserve ANY rights until they first demonstrate that they are taking equal responsibilities. That starts with at the very least taking FINANCIAL responsibility.

If he can't be bothered to provide financial stability, then why should we trust him to provide any kind of emotional stability?

If you can't be bothered to show up for a job regularly, then there's no reason for us to trust them to show up for visits regularly, and it's not fair on a little girl to be told, your dad is coming today, and then he doesn't show up.

If he can't show up for his job, then he has no right to show up to see his little girl.

totally biased hetrosexual male hating drivel as always....zzzzzzz

the mother should have to prove exactly the same thing to exactly the same standard and the law should be exactly the same for both sides, that is equality , anything less is sexist lies and false propoganda

[Marsh.]

totally biased hetrosexual male hating drivel as always....zzzzzzz

the mother should have to prove exactly the same thing to exactly the same standard and the law should be exactly the same for both sides, that is equality , anything less is sexist lies and false propoganda

Hear, hear.

[Benjamin]

the mother should have to prove exactly the same thing to exactly the same standard and the law should be exactly the same for both sides, that is equality , anything less is sexist lies and false propoganda

I actually agree with that.

[Benjamin]

You are wrong plain and simple. the facts prove that in the enormous majority kids who grow up fatherless are worse off. Fact.

Wow, could you be a bit more of an ass when replying, I was just sharing an opinion. My point was, not everyone who grows up without a father becomes a menace to society. Most people I have met/know who grew up without a father are not.

[lostalex]

I agree that any woman who abandons her family, and contributes nothing financially should face exactly the same obstacles that fathers have to face to see their kids.

I don't think anyone would disagree with that.

The truth is there are a ****load more dead-beat dads then there are dead-beat moms though. That's just pure statistics.

[reece(:]

I'm one of those!:wavey:

[lostalex]

I'm one of those!:wavey:

And you turned out just fine!

...mostly...

[the truth]

I agree that any woman who abandons her family, and contributes nothing financially should face exactly the same obstacles that fathers have to face to see their kids.

I don't think anyone would disagree with that.

The truth is there are a ****load more dead-beat dads then there are dead-beat moms though. That's just pure statistics.

no its not....the law is biased from the start so every statistic from that point is perverted by the perversion in law.

[the truth]

Wow, could you be a bit more of an ass when replying, I was just sharing an opinion. My point was, not everyone who grows up without a father becomes a menace to society. Most people I have met/know who grew up without a father are not.

the point you've made is simply not worth making....no one claims in 100% of all cases the fatherless child is worse of, but in the majority they are , that's a fact proven over decades.

[lostalex]

the point you've made is simply not worth making....no one claims in 100% of all cases the fatherless child is worse of, but in the majority they are , that's a fact proven over decades.

and would those children do any better in a single father home? are you saying that the ABSCENCE of a MAN is the problem? or are you just saying that a 1 parent home in general(1 mother, or 1 father) is the problem?

Do you think that single fathers do any better than single mothers? Do children do better in a single mother home? or a single father home? What do your statistics say about that? I'm curious.

enlighten me please.

[the truth]

and would those children do any better in a single father home? are you saying that the ABSCENCE of a MAN is the problem? or are you just saying that a 1 parent home in general(1 mother, or 1 father) is the problem?

Do you think that single fathers do any better than single mothers? Do children do better in a single mother home? or a single father home? What do your statistics say about that? I'm curious.

enlighten me please.

I don't generalize about an entire sex like you, your biased dismissal of fathers as inferior is an embarrassment

The facts prove that over time the fatherless child on average is hugely disadvantaged, just as the motherless child is also disadvantaged
The problems we see now with millions of fatherless children is a tragedy created by a bias in law which you clearly support.

enlighten yourself please

[lostalex]

I don't generalize about an entire sex like you, your biased dismissal of fathers as inferior is an embarrassment

The facts prove that over time the fatherless child on average is hugely disadvantaged, just as the motherless child is also disadvantaged
The problems we see now with millions of fatherless children is a tragedy created by a bias in law which you clearly support.

enlighten yourself please

so you are specifically saying that "fatherless" children are disadvantaged, that's very different than just saying SINGLE PARENT househoulds go worse.

so are you saying that fatherless households are the problem? or are you saying that single parent households are the problem?

You seem to be the one being very GENDER specific. You seem to be the one OBSESSED with MEN.

[Niamh.]

no its not....the law is biased from the start so every statistic from that point is perverted by the perversion in law.

I agree with that. My husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship, he's a fantastic father but the amount of time and money he's spent over the years just trying to see his kids is crazy. His ex is a horrible spiteful woman who uses their kids to hurt him and she doesn't care if she's also hurting them in the process. He's been in and out of courts for years and the law is so unfair towards fathers it's actually heart breaking.

[Vicky.]

The truth is there are a ****load more dead-beat dads then there are dead-beat moms though. That's just pure statistics.

I think this is probably because of how having kids works..the male CAN just piss off if he doesnt want one. The female cant. Yeah there are options..but its not as easy as just walking away for the mother.

I'm not saying this is true of every case, but it has happened to quite a few people I know..in relationships that seemed steady, got pregnant, man freaked out and buggered off leaving the woman holding the baby so to speak.

I agree with niamh though that there are a LOT of men who do want responsibility for their child..but the woman is an arsehole. We are sort of in that situation now with gavins ex. My brother in law is in exactly the same situation (court cases and such constantly, the girl doesnt even bother showing up half the time :rolleyes: ) too.

[the truth]

the law simply has to be unbiased and even handed, otherwise this figure will rise by millions year after year and kids and families will become ever more dysfunctional unhappy and unruly....a good father is as essential to a childs life as oxygen in your lungs. Don't let these idiot spineless politicians convince you otherwise.

[Vicky.]

The thing is..the law cant completely be blamed for this statistic(about 1m not having a father in their lives fullstop). Yes, the courts generally award main custody to the woman, however its very rare for them to say the father cannot see the children at all. The problem of no access at all is usually caused by either the mother being awkward, or the father not wanting to know.

[arista]

I agree with that. My husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship, he's a fantastic father but the amount of time and money he's spent over the years just trying to see his kids is crazy. His ex is a horrible spiteful woman who uses their kids to hurt him and she doesn't care if she's also hurting them in the process. He's been in and out of courts for years and the law is so unfair towards fathers it's actually heart breaking.


Thats Evil.

[Kizzy]

the point you've made is simply not worth making....no one claims in 100% of all cases the fatherless child is worse of, but in the majority they are , that's a fact proven over decades.

I'm sorry but you are wrong to suggest there is only one contributory factor here, I totally reject the 'new right' nonsense that the 'fabric of society' has been undermined by the growth in lone parents, there are many many other things to take into consideration on this issue.
Changes in economic status, social standing, educational attainment.
You cannot tar a whole section of society with one brush.
The breakdown of the family has been happening over many years, but you have to add the whole social stratification of what has gone before to fully understand whatis happening in the now.
Your very black and white views are quite disconcerting.

[the truth]

I'm sorry but you are wrong to suggest there is only one contributory factor here, I totally reject the 'new right' nonsense that the 'fabric of society' has been undermined by the growth in lone parents, there are many many other things to take into consideration on this issue.
Changes in economic status, social standing, educational attainment.
You cannot tar a whole section of society with one brush.
The breakdown of the family has been happening over many years, but you have to add the whole social stratification of what has gone before to fully understand whatis happening in the now.
Your very black and white views are quite disconcerting.

it does in the end come down the some basic truths, mainly that the law favors mothers over fathers which ends up corrupting the system and destroying families

as for you being disconcerted that is insignificant in the bigger picture....its Not as disconcerting as the millions more broken homes and fatherless children who on average have far less opportunities in life. still you being disconcerted is clearly more important than the millions of fatherless children:conf:

[fruit_cake]

seems to me that the courts merely reflect that in the vast majority of cases, the father just doesn't want anything to do with the children. Granted, that means that in some cases where the father does want something to do with his children it causes trouble.

I find it outrageous that when a father sticks with his kids he's championed whereas when a single mother sticks with hers, shes often seen to be some sort of sad case.

[Kizzy]

it does in the end come down the some basic truths, mainly that the law favors mothers over fathers which ends up corrupting the system and destroying families

as for you being disconcerted that is insignificant in the bigger picture....its Not as disconcerting as the millions more broken homes and fatherless children who on average have far less opportunities in life. still you being disconcerted is clearly more important than the millions of fatherless children:conf:

That is simply not true.

[the truth]

That is simply not true.

Yes Im afraid it is true. Though of course many people do not want to hear the truth.

[fruit_cake]

it seems to me that most of those million children are growing up without a father because their father disappeared, and has little to do with the courts in the vast majority of cases anyway.

[Kizzy]

Yes Im afraid it is true. Though of course many people do not want to hear the truth.

It's not the truth it's your rather warped perception of modern life, if it were the truth you would have evidence to back your claims.

[the truth]

It's not the truth it's your rather warped perception of modern life, if it were the truth you would have evidence to back your claims.

I have got evidence its all over the world all over the internet you clearly are refusing to accept the truth.

[the truth]

it seems to me that most of those million children are growing up without a father because their father disappeared, and has little to do with the courts in the vast majority of cases anyway.

complete and utter generalized sexist biased nonsense

[Marsh.]

If your proof is so easily obtained why aren't you providing it?

[Kizzy]

I have got evidence its all over the world all over the internet you clearly are refusing to accept the truth.

All you have is some half baked opinions and a blinkered perception to what the whole picture of what family life in the UK is.

[Ammi]

I agree with that. My husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship, he's a fantastic father but the amount of time and money he's spent over the years just trying to see his kids is crazy. His ex is a horrible spiteful woman who uses their kids to hurt him and she doesn't care if she's also hurting them in the process. He's been in and out of courts for years and the law is so unfair towards fathers it's actually heart breaking.

..I agree, there are some very good, loving and frustrated fathers out there who would love more access to their children, but their ex-partners can use those children as a weapon to hurt them and make it so difficult..if then, say a father was to 'walk away' because he thought it was best for his child not to have to be caught up in a battle of bitterness, he would be seen in a bad light...I'm not saying this is always the case because of course every situation is different but in most cases it's not either of the parents who suffer the most, it's the child who unless there was abuse etc involved, would usually benefit from contact with both parents...

[Kizzy]

Unmarried parents have a rough time, when a couple divorce the children are discussed and in the main provisions made for them to have reasonable access to both parents.
This is not the case for unmarried couples, many are left in a no mans land with little help support or advice.
I would like legal aid to be available for all fathers to assist in mediating contact, for too long the onus has been on financial contribution.

[Niamh.]

Unmarried parents have a rough time, when a couple divorce the children are discussed and in the main provisions made for them to have reasonable access to both parents.
This is not the case for unmarried couples, many are left in a no mans land with little help support or advice.
I would like legal aid to be available for all fathers to assist in mediating contact, for too long the onus has been on financial contribution.

mhhmm, absolutely. An unmarried father isn't even legal guardian to his own child, even if his name is on the birth cert. He has to either get the mothers permission to be appointed legal guardian or (as in my husbands case) if she refuses he has to go through the courts to make it so, which costs alot of money, not to mention lost earnings for having to take time off work to do it too.

What's annoying is his ex was entitled to free legal aid but he wasn't and she actually told a mutual friend of theirs that she didn't care how often he had to take her to court cos it wasn't costing her a penny

[Vicky.]

mhhmm, absolutely. An unmarried father isn't even legal guardian to his own child, even if his name is on the birth cert. He has to either get the mothers permission to be appointed legal guardian or (as in my husbands case) if she refuses he has to go through the courts to make it so, which costs alot of money, not to mention lost earnings for having to take time off work to do it too.

What's annoying is his ex was entitled to free legal aid but he wasn't and she actually told a mutual friend of theirs that she didn't care how often he had to take her to court cos it wasn't costing her a penny

This is exactly the case with my sisters partners ex. They have been to court maybe 10 times now..The girl has only shown up twice and no agreement was reached. Surely after so many no shows..it would prove to the court that she doesnt give a **** and they would just grant access in her absence? Its costing my sister a fortune as they have to pay a lawyer at each no show

[Niamh.]

This is exactly the case with my sisters partners ex. They have been to court maybe 10 times now..The girl has only shown up twice and no agreement was reached. Surely after so many no shows..it would prove to the court that she doesnt give a **** and they would just grant access in her absence? Its costing my sister a fortune as they have to pay a lawyer at each no show

But they don't do anything about it, Gavs daughter is 17 now, so he's been in and out of there so many times, i remember one time she took him to court looking for more maintenance, (she doesn't work at all herself and her kids are in school) Gav showed his earnings to the judge and said he couldn't afford to pay anymore and the judge told him "I suggest you some overtime" That's what you have to deal with, no sign of the judge telling her to get off her lazy ass and find a job :bored: