AdamArmand
05-08-2006, 12:15 PM
She's like the pasty, ugly british version of Cher. Can you imagine her saying these lines?:
Nikki: Big Brother, I would just like to say that physical education in this house is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for forty minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.
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Nikki: Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.
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Nikki: He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?
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Nikki: Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite.
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Richard: Do you know what time it is?
Nikki: A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, Big Daddy.
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Grace: Was I the only one listening?I thought it reeked.
Nikki: No I believe that's your designer imposter perfume.
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Pete: Do you like Billie Holiday?
Nikki: I love him.
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Nikki: Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex.
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Nikki: Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.
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Nikki: That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.
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Nikki (re: Grace): She could be a farmer in those clothes.
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Nikki: Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.
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Nikki: Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a girl.
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Nikki: I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M's and like 3 pieces of licorice.
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Nikki: I want to do something for humanity.
Mikey: How about sterilization?
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Nikki: So like, right now for example. The immigrants need to come to Britian. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on Big Ben! Thank you very much.
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Grace: Big Brother, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Nikki: Well, there goes your social life.
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Nikki: Looks like we're gonna have to make a cameo at the Val party.
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Nikki: It's like that book I read in the 9th grade that said "'tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people."
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Nikki: I felt impudent and out of control. Which I really, really hate. I had to find sanctuary in a place where I could gather my thoughts and regain my strength...
[we see a wide shot of the shopping centre]
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Nikki: Wasn't my mum a total Betty? She died when I was young. A freak accident during a routine liposuction.
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[driving up to a huge house]
Nikki: This is where Jayne lives. She's my friend because we both know what it's like for people to be jealous of us.
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Tai: Do you think she's pretty?
Nikki: No, she's a full-on Monet.
Tai: What's a monet?
Nikki: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Pete, what do you think of Grace?
Pete: Hagsville.
Nikki: See?
Nikki: Big Brother, I would just like to say that physical education in this house is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for forty minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Richard: Do you know what time it is?
Nikki: A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, Big Daddy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Grace: Was I the only one listening?I thought it reeked.
Nikki: No I believe that's your designer imposter perfume.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete: Do you like Billie Holiday?
Nikki: I love him.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki (re: Grace): She could be a farmer in those clothes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a girl.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M's and like 3 pieces of licorice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: I want to do something for humanity.
Mikey: How about sterilization?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: So like, right now for example. The immigrants need to come to Britian. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on Big Ben! Thank you very much.
----------------------------
Grace: Big Brother, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Nikki: Well, there goes your social life.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: Looks like we're gonna have to make a cameo at the Val party.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: It's like that book I read in the 9th grade that said "'tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: I felt impudent and out of control. Which I really, really hate. I had to find sanctuary in a place where I could gather my thoughts and regain my strength...
[we see a wide shot of the shopping centre]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nikki: Wasn't my mum a total Betty? She died when I was young. A freak accident during a routine liposuction.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[driving up to a huge house]
Nikki: This is where Jayne lives. She's my friend because we both know what it's like for people to be jealous of us.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tai: Do you think she's pretty?
Nikki: No, she's a full-on Monet.
Tai: What's a monet?
Nikki: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Pete, what do you think of Grace?
Pete: Hagsville.
Nikki: See?