Woman at the chippy gave me extra meat in my Kebab, does she fancy me?

[Kyle]

Woman at the chippy gave me extra meat in my Kebab, does she fancy me?


She gave me like a large kebab when I asked for a medium and the guy who got served in front of me got like feck all.

She smiled and told me to enjoy and I was like "you bet I will" and then she gave me this reight cute smile.

Should i ask her out next time? She is proper nice too I would love to eat her kebab.

Any advice ladies men and ladies?

[Vicky.]

Clearly. Everyone knows the best way to flirt is to move someone a small step closer to a heart attack

[Novo]

you didn't actually say " you bet i will " did you?

[Kyle]

you didn't actually say " you bet i will " did you?

It's a kebab. I would give a handjob to a gorilla for a piece of meat.

[Kyle]

Clearly. Everyone knows the best way to flirt is to move someone a small step closer to a heart attack

So, what your saying is, she's trying to kill me?

[Jords]

Id be suspicious of an extra ingredient.

[Vicky.]

So, what your saying is, she's trying to kill me?

Yes

http://images.wikia.com/glee/images/0/04/Oh-noes-everybody-panic.gif

[Kyle]

Id be suspicious of an extra ingredient.

I would love it if she spat on it to be honest, I'm sick like that. :evilgrin::evilgrin:

[Kyle]

Yes

http://images.wikia.com/glee/images/0/04/Oh-noes-everybody-panic.gif

So instead of asking her out I am better off keeping the old bill on speed dial? Thanks for alerting me to this you may have saved my life.

[Vicky.]

Don't mention it. I have experience with those kebab bitches :bored:

[Verbal]

Woman at the chippy gave me extra meat in my Kebab, does she fancy me?


She gave me like a large kebab when I asked for a medium and the guy who got served in front of me got like feck all.

She smiled and told me to enjoy and I was like "you bet I will" and then she gave me this reight cute smile.

Should i ask her out next time? She is proper nice too I would love to eat her kebab.

Any advice ladies men and ladies?
Definite sexual signals there, mate. Next time you go in ask her if she wants to try some of your meat. Making this face as you say it:evilgrin:

[Jords]

I would love it if she spat on it to be honest, I'm sick like that. :evilgrin::evilgrin:

... :yuk:

[Kyle]

Don't mention it. I have experience with those kebab bitches :bored:

Please share, I do love a good story about kebabs and bitches. Make it as graphic as you like.... :pipe::pipe:

[Kyle]

Definite sexual signals there, mate. Next time you go in ask her if she wants to try some of your meat. Making this face as you say it:evilgrin:

Excellent advice, I'd love to be on electronic tag for the next year! :joker:

[Vicky.]

:joker:

[Kyle]

:joker:

I said please........ :joker:

Isn't there some sort of puppy dog eyes emoticon?

[Z]

Woman at the chippy gave me extra meat in my Kebab, does she fancy me?


She gave me like a large kebab when I asked for a medium and the guy who got served in front of me got like feck all.

She smiled and told me to enjoy and I was like "you bet I will" and then she gave me this reight cute smile.

Should i ask her out next time? She is proper nice too I would love to eat her kebab.

Any advice ladies men and ladies?

She wants you to give her a little extra meat in return, I say go for it

[Kyle]

She wants you to give her a little extra meat in return, I say go for it

The problem is I can't go back tomorrow, I'd look like a right fat bastard if I went to the chippy two days in a row.

The longer I leave it though she might give someone else an extra helping and then I'm screwed haha.


Such a dilemma :conf: :dance:

[billy123]

The only way to know for sure is to ask if she wants to batter your sausage.

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

I would love it if she spat on it to be honest, I'm sick like that. :evilgrin::evilgrin:

i like you

lets be friends

[thesheriff443]

she has taken a shine to you!,your not the only one to get more than you asked for.
i have had my fair share of extra's

[Kyle]

The only way to know for sure is to ask if she wants to batter your sausage.

I know I'm sexually perverted but I am not sure i am comfortable having my sausage battered.....






.........It would sting like hell in the fryer :joker:

[Kyle]

i like you

lets be friends

I'm not sure i swing that way but I'd give anything a try! :joker:

[Kyle]

she has taken a shine to you!,your not the only one to get more than you asked for.
i have had my fair share of extra's

What did you get?

[thesheriff443]

What did you get?

a large portion!:joker:

[Kyle]

a large portion!:joker:

:joker:


Godamnit looks like she gives everyone extra portions. Ok we can share her, can I have Wednesday to Saturday?

[thesheriff443]

:joker:


Godamnit looks like she gives everyone extra portions. Ok we can share her, can I have Wednesday to Saturday?

of course:shocked:

[Kate!]

This thread :joker:

[Kyle]

This thread :joker:

So Kate, do you think she wants me? :joker:

[Verbal]

This shop...do they do deliveries ?

[Kyle]

This shop...do they do deliveries ?

I don't know, how would that help surely she wouldn't do deliveries?

Anyway I've decided I'm going to buy one of those fake moustache and glasses thing and wear a hoody, unleash my fake scouser accent and go tomorrow to order a kebab and see if she gives me extra.

If she doesn't then she wants my body.

[Verbal]

I don't know, how would that help surely she wouldn't do deliveries?

Anyway I've decided I'm going to buy one of those fake moustache and glasses thing and wear a hoody, unleash my fake scouser accent and go tomorrow to order a kebab and see if she gives me extra.

If she doesn't then she wants my body.

Sorry, i'm not very good at the innuendos, I was just genuinely curious :joker:

[Kyle]

Sorry, i'm not very good at the innuendos, I was just genuinely curious :joker:

Don't you try and muscle in on her Swansea man I saw her first! I get the first opportunity to make a complete ass of myself, after she punches me then you can have your shot.


I've got my eyes on you, Hermie. :nono:




:joker:

[Verbal]

Don't you try and muscle in on her Swansea man I saw her first! I get the first opportunity to make a complete ass of myself, after she punches me then you can have your shot.


I've got my eyes on you, Hermie. :nono:




:joker:

I was just going to phone up and ask her if she wanted some gravy. Northern birds love gravy.:joker:

[Kyle]

I was just going to phone up and ask her if she wanted some gravy. Northern birds love gravy.:joker:

:joker:

Gravy, yeh you mean your love gravy. Hands off, this is my gravy train! :evilgrin::evilgrin:

[Z]

There's definitely a joke about spitting and kebab spits in here somewhere...

[Kyle]

There's definitely a joke about spitting and kebab spits in here somewhere...

If there wasn't before, there is now! :joker:

[Samuel.]

Marry her

[Kyle]

Marry her

Then I won't get any sex. :conf:

[Z]

Then I won't get any sex. :conf:

:laugh2:

[Verbal]

I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night.

He told me to **** off and buy my own

[Kyle]

I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night.

He told me to **** off and buy my own

:joker:

Ungrateful sod. Homeless people nowadays. They have no respect. The last homeless guy I saw asked me if I could give him a drink so I peed on him. The bastard chased me down the street.

That's the last time I try to help a person I swear.

[Withano]

Maybe she hates you and poisoned / spat in the kebab.

[Kyle]

Maybe she hates you and poisoned / spat in the kebab.

I'm fine with either of those. If she tried to poison me then great ill get some money when I sue her ass off or if she spat in my food then even better, I'll spread it all over my body and tug myself off over it.

Win/win for me.

[Verbal]

5WQiyUEmTIQ:joker:

[DanaC]

Maybe she thinks you look like you need feeding up :p

[Withano]

I'm fine with either of those. If she tried to poison me then great ill get some money when I sue her ass off or if she spat in my food then even better, I'll spread it all over my body and tug myself off over it.

Win/win for me.

You're my new favourite

[Z]

You're my new favourite

You were my new favourite until Simple Minds joined, Withano, I hope you're not too disappointed

[Kyle]

Maybe she thinks you look like you need feeding up :p

Oh so she feels sorry for me. :(

I think I need a comfort food do you know where I can get that special Indian ice cream you were on about from?

[Kyle]

You're my new favourite

You were my new favourite until Simple Minds joined, Withano, I hope you're not too disappointed

Guys, guys settle down. There's plenty of love to go around. Why don't we all love each other equally? Obviously I am the first among equals...... :spin:

[Withano]

You were my new favourite until Simple Minds joined, Withano, I hope you're not too disappointed

You're just being silly. Y u so silly. I'm still your favourite. Please? Yes? kewl.

[Z]

You're just being silly. Y u so silly. I'm still your favourite. Please? Yes? kewl.

I'd still give you a large kebab x

[Natalie.]

Ask her for fish and see what she gives you?

[Verbal]

Ask her for fish and see what she gives you?

If you do this and she holds her fingers out to you, run...

[Kyle]

If you do this and she holds her fingers out to you, run...

Why on earth would I run? I love a good fish finger with my chips :cheer2:

[Jesus.]

Did you get to see her badly packed kebab?

[Kyle]

Did you get to see her badly packed kebab?

I would like to.

[Verbal]

Footage from last night - Simple minds runs into the girl from the chippy on the way home from the pub

EBkgwDLHZ2o

[Kyle]

Footage from last night - Simple minds runs into the girl from the chippy on the way home from the pub

EBkgwDLHZ2o

Phwoooaaar I tell you she looks a lot better on that vid than she does in real life, I didn't think she could get any sexier.

After that spot of pointing we went round the back of Asda and copped it off over the loading bays. The hydraulic lifter helped me get her into position.

[Verbal]

:joker: you do make me laugh, fair play

[Kyle]

:joker: you do make me laugh, fair play

Aha I knew you fancied me. :dance:

Don't act like its not true i know you've been undressing the screen with your eyes. :evilgrin::evilgrin:

[Verbal]

Aha I knew you fancied me. :dance:

Don't act like its not true i know you've been undressing the screen with your eyes. :evilgrin::evilgrin:

That's not you in your avatar?

:shocked:

Well that is a shocking revelation I must say :joker:

[Kyle]

That's not you in your avatar?

:shocked:

Well that is a shocking revelation I must say :joker:


I'm much more sexy with the lights off! :joker:

[Kate!]

SM..... I think she's trying to tell you something...

spoilering this cos its rather crude ;)

Urban Dictionary

KebabMouth BlowJob

A blowjob in which the giver of the BJ has a mouth full of kebab meat, and maybe some pita bread and salad.

Lads, I got this amazing KebabMouth Blowjob off this fat bird outside the chippy the other night!

:laugh2:

[Kyle]

SM..... I think she's trying to tell you something...

spoilering this cos its rather crude ;)



:laugh2:

Ahahaha that's hilarious, wonder what's worse. Cock breath or kebab breath :joker:


I like how the user adds salad, after a while there will be salad cream for it!

[Kate!]

Ahahaha that's hilarious, wonder what's worse. Cock breath or kebab breath :joker:


I like how the user adds salad, after a while there will be salad cream for it!

:hugesmile:

[Z]

You know, I've never once had salad cream on a salad


I realise we're not actually talking about salad cream


I want salad cream






not that kind of salad cream

[Kate!]

I have never tried salad cream.

This is a serious reply, I don't like the look of it. I don't like sauces at all really, I like gravy and that is all.

[Kyle]

I have never tried salad cream.

This is a serious reply, I don't like the look of it. I don't like sauces at all really, I like gravy and that is all.

Get your seriousness off my thread now Kate or I will pull up a post you made earlier and make it look like something you didn't mean. :joker:

[Kyle]

You know, I've never once had salad cream on a salad


I realise we're not actually talking about salad cream


I want salad cream






not that kind of salad cream

I'm confused, which salad cream do you want?

[Marc]

Well she gave you her kebab so yes.

[Jake.]

You know, I've never once had salad cream on a salad


I realise we're not actually talking about salad cream


I want salad cream






not that kind of salad cream

Calm yourself you slut

[Z]

Calm yourself you slut

Just want some salad cream, what's a guy to do

[Kate!]

My salad cream brings all the boys to the yard. :p

[Verbal]

Just want some salad cream, what's a guy to do

I wouldn't go exclaiming that too loudly to be honest.


If you do, and somebody says to you 'i've got some you can have, if you help me toss my salad' always say NO

:joker:

[Z]

I wouldn't go exclaiming that too loudly to be honest.


If you do, and somebody says to you 'i've got some you can have, if you help me toss my salad' always say NO

:joker:

It's like a 2013 version of stranger danger

[Kyle]

If I asked her if I could have a taste of her large kebab do you think I'll get a slap?

[Ryan57]

Ask her next time, 'do you like medium or large meat :evilgrin:'.

[Verbal]

If I asked her if I could have a taste of her large kebab do you think I'll get a slap?

At the very least:dance:

[Kyle]

Ah who am I kidding, she is a chip shop girl and I'm just a lowly gardener, it was never going to be,


An ode to a chip shop lady;


Oh chip shop girl,
Your eyes were bright
Like Turkish delight
Or perhaps a Viennese whirl

Oh chip shop lady,
You gave me good meat,
You were ever so sweet,
If only I could give you my gravy

Did you want to poison me?
You gave me that food
I pictured you nude
But alas it was never to be.

Fin

[Kate!]

Ah who am I kidding, she is a chip shop girl and I'm just a lowly gardener, it was never going to be,


An ode to a chip shop lady;


Oh chip shop girl,
Your eyes were bright
Like Turkish delight
Or perhaps a Viennese whirl

Oh chip shop lady,
You gave me good meat,
You were ever so sweet,
If only I could give you my gravy

Did you want to poison me?
You gave me that food
I pictured you nude
But alas it was never to be.

Fin

:laugh2: a poetic masterpiece, I'm incredibly moved .. Sob.

[thesheriff443]

:laugh2: a poetic masterpiece, I'm incredibly moved .. Sob.

enough to start working in a chippy:joker:

[Kyle]

:laugh2: a poetic masterpiece, I'm incredibly moved .. Sob.

Don't laugh at me, I'm heart broken! An empty shell of a man with an empty kebab box to boot.


Cheer me up now! :devil:

[Kyle]

enough to start working in a chippy:joker:

I got a D in my deep fat frying classes in school. No reputable chip shop in the country would have me with those grades.

[thesheriff443]

I got a D in my deep fat frying classes in school. No reputable chip shop in the country would have me with those grades.

not you, kate.:joker:

[Verbal]

The Gardener & The Chip Shop Girl

That's a film just waiting to be made

[Kyle]

not you, kate.:joker:

:cloud:

[Kate!]

Don't laugh at me, I'm heart broken! An empty shell of a man with an empty kebab box to boot.


Cheer me up now! :devil:

Awwwww. :hug: here, have a grape..

[Kyle]

The Gardener & The Chip Shop Girl

That's a film just waiting to be made

I'm available to play the gardener. And the chip shop girl must be fit, I'm talking Susan Boyle fit. Pure stunner. :dance:

[Kyle]

Awwwww. :hug: here, have a grape..

It better be a red one.

[Kate!]

I'll play the chip shop girl.

- chews gum and burps -

[Kyle]

I'll play the chip shop girl.

- chews gum and burps -

Nice one, are you partial to a spot of nudity? You know for the audience, not me. :whistle::whistle:

[thesheriff443]

Nice one, are you partial to a spot of nudity? You know for the audience, not me. :whistle::whistle:
:nono:

[Kyle]

:nono:

Yep, just awaiting my infraction for that one. :blush:

[Kate!]

I'm as pure as the driven slush I'll have you know.

[Kate!]

I've got other titles for this film..

:devil:

Carry on Kebabing
Brokeback Sausage

[Kyle]

I've got other titles for this film..

:devil:

Carry on Kebabing
Brokeback Sausage

I like. :joker:

Chippy off the old block.

Out of the frying pan...... And into her bed.

Lord of the onion rings.

[thesheriff443]

riding the gravy train.

[Verbal]

Working title - tales from the deep fat fryer

[Kyle]

I'm off to give Peter Jackson the script he can make it into a trilogy. Hollywood here we come ya bastards!