Abz "I've got Aspergers" really?

[kistar]

My father has Aspergers and although I'm certain there are many degrees of it Abz must have .00003 of a degree of it. Does anyone else have experience of this condition?

[Vicky.]

My best mate at school had mild aspergers. She was just a bit..strange :/

Like, she would randomly sit in puddles when we were out if she fancied it, and once jumped off durham bridge to 'swim with the ducks'

She wasn't too good in social situations though, she would be extremely quiet in groups, but was fine one to one, or in a group of people she knew well.

[Vanessa]

I didn't know he had aspergers. Poor guy. :(

[kistar]

Finding social situations difficult is the obvious one , I can't believe he would want fame or even be in a band if he had this condition.Also he would say exactly what he thought Aspergers sufferers have no filter as far as thoughts and saying it is concerned, so I am sceptical tbh.
Maybe if he sits in a puddle I might be convinced!

[Redway]

I know someone with Asperger's and I remember a while back when he was completely withdrawn from social situations and never seemed to be able to detect sarcasm/banter from being genuine...

He's still a bit like that but has gradually learned to deal with it over the years.

[reece(:]

Waiting for the generic *he's playing the Aspergers card for votes*.

[Vanessa]

He does seem to struggle a bit in there.At least now we know why.

[Videostar]

Has he ever mentioned this before?

It's a funny old show to go on if he has that condition.

[Josiah.]

I have Aspergers syndrome. I really do; I was diagnosed in '09.

[Videostar]

Waiting for the generic *he's playing the Aspergers card for votes*.

It wont do him any harm in him trying to win tho...GBP love a sob story...as we found out again on Monday.

[Vanessa]

Has he ever mentioned this before?

It's a funny old show to go on if he has that condition.

No idea, but it explains a lot. Remember he went straight to the tree house on the fist night?:suspect:

[Vicky.]

I know someone with Asperger's and I remember a while back when he was completely withdrawn from social situations and never seemed to be able to detect sarcasm/banter from being genuine...

He's still a bit like that but has gradually learned to deal with it over the years.

OMG yes this is a main one

When we were last year at junior school..our teacher was saying something, and said to my mate 'oh the penny has dropped'

And she started looking on the floor for a penny...

No concept of sarcasm or anything. She used to get quite upset if we were sarcastic to each other (never did it to her as she took it as insults)

[kistar]

Get this when I was 14 my Father told me I was never going to beautiful so best I make the most of my personality and study hard at school.!

[kistar]

I have Aspergers syndrome. I really do; I was diagnosed in '09.

Hey Josiah great it has been diagnosed , thank you for sharing.

[DanaC]

My mother, brother and I have thought for some time my dad might have been undiagnosed aspergers.


[eta] I phrased that badly. We thought for a time that he may have been. Ended up thinking maybe not.

[Redway]

OMG yes this is a main one

When we were last year at junior school..our teacher was saying something, and said to my mate 'oh the penny has dropped'

And she started looking on the floor for a penny...

No concept of sarcasm or anything. She used to get quite upset if we were sarcastic to each other (never did it to her as she took it as insults)

Yeah, and their understanding can be quite literal as well. I remember a while back our teacher told us to not rush through our work and he took it very literally, barely doing anything within the 45 minutes. :/

[G1dds]

I was pretty irritated when he said "I've got a condition called aspergers"

FFS - it's not a "condition". I have 2 sons, a husband, father, brother and sister with aspergers.....

Maybe I just don't like him, but the way he said it wound me up

[erinp5]

I have heard of it but I don't know anything about it.

[Pincho Paxton]

I know a few people with Aspergers, and it sort of makes sense that he has it.

[DanaC]

I was pretty irritated when he said "I've got a condition called aspergers"

FFS - it's not a "condition". I have 2 sons, a husband, father, brother and sister with aspergers.....

Maybe I just don't like him, but the way he said it wound me up


Genuine question, and please forgive my ignorance on this, but what would be a more acceptable description?

[bbfan11]

I have Aspergers I don't like social situations and hate physical contact and don't make eye contact.

[Vanessa]

I have Aspergers I don't like social situations and hate physical contact and don't make eye contact.

I wonder if i have it because i'm like that as well. :shocked:

[erinp5]

OMG yes this is a main one

When we were last year at junior school..our teacher was saying something, and said to my mate 'oh the penny has dropped'

And she started looking on the floor for a penny...

No concept of sarcasm or anything. She used to get quite upset if we were sarcastic to each other (never did it to her as she took it as insults)

Just read a post about a mum telling her son to travel light so he took an empty suitcase.

[Pincho Paxton]

I looked on the internet for the use of the word 'condition', and it does seem to apply to Aspergers. Condition is just a word that means state of health. You can use it for almost any health situation. I am in fairly good condition.

[Marsh.]

I love it when the TiBB Medical Professionals make threads.

[RodHull]

Finding social situations difficult is the obvious one , I can't believe he would want fame or even be in a band if he had this condition.Also he would say exactly what he thought Aspergers sufferers have no filter as far as thoughts and saying it is concerned, so I am sceptical tbh.
Maybe if he sits in a puddle I might be convinced!

It would explain why he spent 90% of his famous days off his t**s on his drugs. It was probably the only way he felt comfortable in that world.

[daniel-lewis-1985]

Finding social situations difficult is the obvious one , I can't believe he would want fame or even be in a band if he had this condition.Also he would say exactly what he thought Aspergers sufferers have no filter as far as thoughts and saying it is concerned, so I am sceptical tbh.
Maybe if he sits in a puddle I might be convinced!

Abz was forced to live that very public life but shared it with 4 other guys so that probably gave him the confidence of support in social situations and he was pissed most of the time, it was just a worldwind.

He now lives on a secluded farm and doesn't socialise that often hes only doing BB to get a house.

Just because you know one person with the illness you shouldn't really imply others are faking it (which I think you may be trying to do here).

[erinp5]

5ive star Abz has revealed that his withdrawn behaviour since entering the Celebrity Big Brother house is the result of Asperger's Syndrome.


The singer was in the Diary Room when he made the admission while referring to model Sophie Anderton’s outspoken behaviour the previous night.


He said: ‘The drink’s kinda messing with people, I don’t really go out and party anymore. Sophie was telling me that I need to come out of my shell and really shine, it’s good advice, I can’t knock that.


‘But what people don’t know about me is I‘ve got this condition; it’s a kind of autism called Asbergers.’


Five star Abz admits he has Asperger Syndrome during a chat with Big Brother in the Diary Room
Opening up: 5ive star Abz admits he has Asperger Syndrome during a chat with Big Brother in the Diary Room


He added: ‘It’s a personal thing but it makes it difficult for me in certain scenarios when people want the sparkly bright Abz all the time.


‘I only found out a couple of years ago so it’s all new to me but I’m trying to make the best of it.’


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2402359/Abz-makes-shock-Diary-Room-confession-Celebrity-Big-Brother.html#ixzz2d8RRvuTP
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

[Blue Cadillac]

My son was diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome many years ago. Asperger's people can display many signs of ritualistic behaviour and obsessions, are very much literal thinkers, and often misunderstand unspoken signals. Speaking from personal experience, my son is quite the introvert, and there's no way he'd want attention drawn to himself. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I certainly think it's highly unusual that someone with Asperger's would put themselves in such a situation whereby thousands of people are watching them on TV, not to mention the fact that they have to share a house with a bunch of strangers.

[kitten59]

My son was diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome many years ago. Asperger's people can display many signs of ritualistic behaviour and obsessions, are very much literal thinkers, and often misunderstand unspoken signals. Speaking from personal experience, my son is quite the introvert, and there's no way he'd want attention drawn to himself. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I certainly think it's highly unusual that someone with Asperger's would put themselves in such a situation whereby thousands of people are watching them on TV, not to mention the fact that they have to share a house with a bunch of strangers.

- This is the thing- there are exceptions. One example, and a famous one, is Dan Aykroyd. Yes, he of Saturday Night Live on TV and many movies.

[Kizzy]

I sometimes think that those diagnosed with OCD have Asperger's Syndrome, I was told years ago that if the autistic spectrum was a clock my son was ten past one....
After being told he was ADHD and DCD I thought feck the lot of you! He is just jake! :D

[Livia]

I love it when the TiBB Medical Professionals make threads.

This place is an education in itself sometimes.

[Jemal]

Well abz certainly doesn't detect sarcasm. There was a time he was talking to Mario and Mario was referring to how stressful this house was gonna be. Then Mario said "mate can you teach me how to meditate" in a sarcastic way and abz replied with "im no guru mate" Mario replied "no i ment because its gonna get real tough in here" then a silence broke out for the next 1 min before Danielle came.

I believe him tbfh.

[Beso]

My son was diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome many years ago. Asperger's people can display many signs of ritualistic behaviour and obsessions, are very much literal thinkers, and often misunderstand unspoken signals. Speaking from personal experience, my son is quite the introvert, and there's no way he'd want attention drawn to himself. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I certainly think it's highly unusual that someone with Asperger's would put themselves in such a situation whereby thousands of people are watching them on TV, not to mention the fact that they have to share a house with a bunch of strangers.

my gf son has aspergers yet he is able to front his own band and play a lead role in his school play..

[Kizzy]

Well exactly I guess there will be those with mild social anxiety and pragmatic difficulties, and those whose idiosyncrasies are more pronounced.

[Blue Cadillac]

my gf son has aspergers yet he is able to front his own band and play a lead role in his school play..

Granted, there are going to be exceptions, but going on national tv in front of over a million people - well, that's a bit different from being in a band and school play, I'd say.

[brucie]

there was a guy who won bb who had some sort of problem involving speech which mysteriously disappeared after he won...

[Marsh.]

Granted, there are going to be exceptions, but going on national tv in front of over a million people - well, that's a bit different from being in a band and school play, I'd say.

Do tell me more Dr. Cadillac.

[Josy]

there was a guy who won bb who had some sort of problem involving speech which mysteriously disappeared after he won...

Who are you talking about? Pete?

[brucie]

Who are you talking about? Pete?

yes, what a fake...the whole 'act' was planned including his roll down the stairs on the final night.

[Blue Cadillac]

Do tell me more Dr. Cadillac.

Well, what do you want to know, exactly? Never professed to be a doctor, by the way, just offering my opinion in relation to my personal experience.

[Beso]

Granted, there are going to be exceptions, but going on national tv in front of over a million people - well, that's a bit different from being in a band and school play, I'd say.

hmm, well yeah to an extent, but for the person with the aspergers, is it really that different?

[Blue Cadillac]

hmm, well yeah to an extent, but for the person with the aspergers, is it really that different?

I do see your point, and I guess I'll just have to reserve judgement as to whether I'm convinced Abz does have the condition (if I'm allowed to call it that on here) or not.

However, I'd put myself out there to say that those with Aspergers are generally very high functioning with often above average intelligence, and so there's every possibility the person with Aspergers WOULD know the difference between a million people and, say, a few hundred.

[Pincho Paxton]

There are different levels of Autism, and Aspergers. Some people say that Einstein, and Newton had Autism.

[Beso]

I do see your point, and I guess I'll just have to reserve judgement as to whether I'm convinced Abz does have the condition (if I'm allowed to call it that on here) or not.

However, I'd put myself out there to say that those with Aspergers are generally very high functioning with often above average intelligence, and so there's every possibility the person with Aspergers WOULD know the difference between a million people and, say, a few hundred.

yes, but the numbers isn't the point i'm discussing. The point is they are both strenious and stressful situations. I dont know if i'm correct in saying this, but id imagine that aspergers sufferers would find them both equally stressfull.:thumbs:

[Blue Cadillac]

yes, but the numbers isn't the point i'm discussing. The point is they are both strenious and stressful situations. I dont know if i'm correct in saying this, but id imagine that aspergers sufferers would find them both equally stressfull.:thumbs:

Yes, quite. You are right - both are stressful situations for an Asperger's person. However, I'd take a stab that your girlfriend's son who has Asperger's, fronts a band and plays a lead role in a play for its pure enjoyment - as opposed to Abz who has entered the Big Brother house, for, hmmmm ........the monetary element, at a guess?? Would he have done it purely for 'the experience', I wonder?

Frankly, I am questioning whether Abz needed to tell the nation that he had Asperger's in the first instance, or whether it was to gain credibility of some degree?

Anyway, regardless, I'm not disagreeing with you entirely - I'm just reserving judgement temporarily, and I could be completely wrong about him.

[Pincho Paxton]

Yes, quite. You are right - both are stressful situations for an Asperger's person. However, I'd take a stab that your girlfriend's son who has Asperger's, fronts a band and plays a lead role in a play for its pure enjoyment - as opposed to Abz who has entered the Big Brother house, for, hmmmm ........the monetary element, at a guess?? Would he have done it purely for 'the experience', I wonder?

Frankly, I am questioning whether Abz needed to tell the nation that he had Asperger's in the first instance, or whether it was to gain credibility of some degree?

Anyway, regardless, I'm not disagreeing with you entirely - I'm just reserving judgement temporarily, and I could be completely wrong about him.

If he has Aspergers his decision to tell people could be down to his Aspergers. So of course he would tell people. Decisions are slightly different.

[Lex]

yes, what a fake...the whole 'act' was planned including his roll down the stairs on the final night.

OK then Brucie!....Prove that the lovely lad Pete Bennett was faking his Tourettes or apologise profusely! :nono:

[G1dds]

Genuine question, and please forgive my ignorance on this, but what would be a more acceptable description?



Yeah, sleeping on it I think it was less about him saying he had a "condition" and more the way he said it ..... Like his "condition" required sympathy

In my house, my boys have aspergers - that's it. No sympathy required, just a little understanding for them. Their brains just process differently, that's it.

As I said before, I think it's just because I don't like him with his stupid false accent looking a little sad he had this "condition"

I probably haven't explained myself well on here, but I know what I mean :D

[DanaC]

Yeah, sleeping on it I think it was less about him saying he had a "condition" and more the way he said it ..... Like his "condition" required sympathy

In my house, my boys have aspergers - that's it. No sympathy required, just a little understanding for them. Their brains just process differently, that's it.

As I said before, I think it's just because I don't like him with his stupid false accent looking a little sad he had this "condition"

I probably haven't explained myself well on here, but I know what I mean :D

Yeah. I know what you mean :p

In his defence though: he only brought it up in relation to somebody telling him he needed to come out of himself a bit more and be a bit livelier and more involved. And, given he's only recently been diagnosed (two years I think he said?) he hasn't been brought up with the knowledge he has aspergers, and therefore the 'normality' of that. He's probably had all sorts of minor issues with interaction and social situations his whole life and only now has a name for what makes him that way. He's probably spent half his life wondering what was 'wrong'.


I got the impression he wasn't really looking for sympathy. Just a little understanding that this particular thing (coming out of himself and being more involved in the group) can be problematic, maybe takes a little longer for him.

I suspect anything he said about it would be annoying though, because of that accent :p

[Conzors]

when i was unemployed i did voluntary work with autistic/aspergers children and he has definitely not got it.

[Vanessa]

It would explain why he ran off tot he tree house on the first day. i always thought it was very odd. :suspect:

[DanaC]

when i was unemployed i did voluntary work with autistic/aspergers children and he has definitely not got it.

Big difference between adults and children. It can take time, I would think,(possibly longer if someone is low the spectrum, undiagnosed and making their way through without any informed guidance) to develop the kinds of strategies needed to interact with a world of people who mainly think a bit differently to them. Abz is an adult. He's a ta different point in that journey to the children you worked with.

Also: if you are working with children who have been identified as somewhere on the autistic spectrum, then I'd have thought it quite likely that those children are more identifiable as being on that spectrum than someone who has remained unidentified into adulthood.

[Vanessa]

Big difference between adults and children. It can take time, I would think,(possibly longer if someone is low the spectrum, undiagnosed and making their way through without any informed guidance) to develop the kinds of strategies needed to interact with a world of people who mainly think a bit differently to them. Abz is an adult. He's a ta different point in that journey to the children you worked with.

Also: if you are working with children who have been identified as somewhere on the autistic spectrum, then I'd have thought it quite likely that those children are more identifiable as being on that spectrum than someone who has remained unidentified into adulthood.

That's true. He seems more comfortable now, which i great. I love Abz! :love:

[Pincho Paxton]

when i was unemployed i did voluntary work with autistic/aspergers children and he has definitely not got it.

At about 17 it fades away a lot.

[Blue Cadillac]

At about 17 it fades away a lot.

Not really. The individual just adapts and learns to cope with it as they enter adulthood.

[user104658]

Very mild asperger's in adults who have learned "masking techniques" (basically, learned how to act in social situations because social interactions don't come naturally) can manifest as a person just seeming very introspective or shy.

It's actually very hard to get a firm diagnosis of all types of mild autism if it isn't identified in childhood, for that very reason.

[boomoo]

My best mate at school had mild aspergers. She was just a bit..strange :/

Like, she would randomly sit in puddles when we were out if she fancied it, and once jumped off durham bridge to 'swim with the ducks'

She wasn't too good in social situations though, she would be extremely quiet in groups, but was fine one to one, or in a group of people she knew well.

How strange. 'extremely quiet in groups but fine one to one' I must have had asperger's syndrome all my life but undiagnosed. We called it shy.

[DanaC]

How strange. 'extremely quiet in groups but fine one to one' I must have had asperger's syndrome all my life but undiagnosed. We called it shy.

So...you think people with aspergers are just shy? Or you think shy people all have aspergers?

[boomoo]

It would explain why he ran off tot he tree house on the first day. i always thought it was very odd. :suspect:

I would have run off to the tree house just to get away from the racket everyone was making. So many loudmouths in there and they don't listen to the answer when they have asked a question.

[Vanessa]

I would have run off to the tree house just to get away from the racket everyone was making. So many loudmouths in there and they don't listen to the answer when they have asked a question.

He just looked very uncomfortable.

[CaudleHalbard]

Labels have to be put on everything these days.

It's always some syndrome or another. Keeps the psychoquacks happy, I guess! ;)

[DanaC]

Yeah. Was so much nicer back in the good ol' days when nobody had a label, and kids with developmental disorders were just shunted around and out of the education system for being 'naughty', or 'rude' or disruptive, or 'stupid'.

[boomoo]

So...you think people with aspergers are just shy? Or you think shy people all have aspergers?

Not at all. Just wondered how I would have been diagnosed today.
I think too many children are being diagnosed as autistic or asperger's. I began teaching 50 years ago and I never came across a child who could not communicate with me. There were plenty of children who were afraid of a teacher and could not speak to them. The child did not have a problem the teacher did.

[boomoo]

Labels have to be put on everything these days.

It's always some syndrome or another. Keeps the psychoquacks happy, I guess! ;)

More than that. Children are being awarded disability allowance and motobility allowance which is a huge incentive to get a diagnosis of Asperger's or Autism.
On motobility surely a parent already has a car and does not need a free one.
The rules are that the person who has the award must be in the car. Wonder how often that rule is broken.?

[boomoo]

He just looked very uncomfortable.

He did. Very musical people cannot stand disorganised sound.

[CaudleHalbard]

Yeah. Was so much nicer back in the good ol' days when nobody had a label, and kids with developmental disorders were just shunted around and out of the education system for being 'naughty', or 'rude' or disruptive, or 'stupid'.

Quite often that's exactly what they were! :rolleyes:

Now it is nobody's fault...... and heaven forbid anyone should blame the parents for not bringing up the the child properly.

It makes a mockery of those with genuine problems.

[DanaC]

Not at all. Just wondered how I would have been diagnosed today.
I think too many children are being diagnosed as autistic or asperger's. I began teaching 50 years ago and I never came across a child who could not communicate with me. There were plenty of children who were afraid of a teacher and could not speak to them. The child did not have a problem the teacher did.

From what I have heard from parents of children with aspergers or autism, or indeed other cognitive issues, like dyslexia or dyspraxia, it is quite difficult to get a diagnosis, and even more difficult to translate that into meaningful in-school assistance (such as learning assistants).

Back when I was teaching adult lit, we had a number of students with developmental disorders of various kinds. Most of them had gone through their schooling without any kind of diagnosis or recognition of what was going on in their brains that was different to the other kids. They were just seen as awkward, particularly those on the autistic spectrum. Awkward and insolent, even rude (that literal view of the world and lack of social grace). Some were probably thought of as shy, or nervous.

If they exhibit only mild signals these can easily be misread. And however they manage at primary school, most of them seem to have found secondary school a much harder trial.

Maybe you have had kids come through your class that were on the autistic spectrum, but only exhibiting mild and easily misread signs. And in the intimacy of a primary school class, with a teacher they trusted, they may well learn to cope with that setting quite quickly (I assume you are talking about primary school age kids?). Those same children who coped ok in primary school may not then fare so well in the less intimate setting of secondary school.

Often, the people I was working with had begun to have early issues at primary school, in terms of falling behind and feeling different, but it was often the move to secondary school that signalled a break down in their schooling.

[DanaC]

Quite often that's exactly what they were! :rolleyes:

Now it is nobody's fault...... and heaven forbid anyone should blame the parents for not bringing up the the child properly.

It makes a mockery of those with genuine problems.

I said 'kids with developmental disorders'. If they had developmental disorders then their behaviour was often misread and therefore responded to as bad behaviour.

I am sure there were also many kids who were just misbehaving. If there weren't then why would anybody assume the children with developmental disorders were?

I spent a number of years helping people pick up the pieces and re-engage with education after their schooling and sometimes childhoods had been wrecked by undiagnosed learning disabilities and developmental disorders.

[DanaC]

More than that. Children are being awarded disability allowance and motobility allowance which is a huge incentive to get a diagnosis of Asperger's or Autism.
On motobility surely a parent already has a car and does not need a free one.
The rules are that the person who has the award must be in the car. Wonder how often that rule is broken.?

Do you have any evidence that these allowances are being abused by parents on the make trying to get fake diagnoses for their kids?

[G1dds]

More than that. Children are being awarded disability allowance and motobility allowance which is a huge incentive to get a diagnosis of Asperger's or Autism.
On motobility surely a parent already has a car and does not need a free one.
The rules are that the person who has the award must be in the car. Wonder how often that rule is broken.?



Erm....... Not everyone who has a child with Aspergers claims disability allowance, top-ups etc etc, I certainly don't and I've got 2 boys with statements

Quite an ignorant comment if you ask me

[DanaC]

I'm starting to feel a little angry with some of what's been said in here. Think I'll step away from it for while.

[Cherie]

Not at all. Just wondered how I would have been diagnosed today.
I think too many children are being diagnosed as autistic or asperger's. I began teaching 50 years ago and I never came across a child who could not communicate with me. There were plenty of children who were afraid of a teacher and could not speak to them. The child did not have a problem the teacher did.

Wow. I work in a special school and to qualify for the higher rate of disability allowance you need to fit into one of the following..



1. You are unable to walk.
2. You are virtually unable to walk.
3. The exertion required to walk would constitute a danger to your life or would be likely to lead to a serious deterioration in your health.
4. You have no legs or feet (from birth or through amputation).
5. You are both deaf and blind.
6. You are entitled to the highest rate care component and you are severely mentally impaired with extremely disruptive and dangerous behavioural problems.

Which of the above do you think parents fake so they can get a free car?

[Marsh.]

Well, what do you want to know, exactly? Never professed to be a doctor, by the way, just offering my opinion in relation to my personal experience.

Opinion is fine. Judgement about someone's medical diagnosis with no possible way of knowing the facts is not.

when i was unemployed i did voluntary work with autistic/aspergers children and he has definitely not got it.

Wow, todays doctors are wasting buckets of money and ****loads of time in medical schools. If only they just took a few weeks voluntary work.

[sway]

I have mild aspergers syndrome, I've been programming (coding) computers since aged 12 as a hobby whilst pursing a masters level in Architecture. I've never had a group of friends or really a best friend.

I do not think someone in a boy band can be Aspergic. My heart sank when he said he had aspergers because its easy to say that when you're going through depression and feel crap. He DOES NOT have aspergers, just because he feels crap post-breakup from his band.

[Roy Mars III]

when i was unemployed i did voluntary work with autistic/aspergers children and he has definitely not got it.

autism and aspergers are different. Many people will aspergers may not even realize they have it too much later on. I see no reason to not believe that Abz has Aspergers

[sway]

I have mild aspergers syndrome, I've been programming (coding) computers since the age of 12 as a hobby whilst having just completed my masters in Architecture. I've never had a group of friends or really a best friend, as I think social groups are just benign. Although I do care about people and im not arragont or stuck up.

ABZ DOES NOT HAVE ASPERGERS.

Someone who was in a boy band could never have aspergers, and the only social problems he may have in the house may stem from depression, probably to do with his career and lifestyle binge.

Another clue in this lie, is that he says hes doing yoga and lives a detoxifying life. In a way where people will think hes excessively individualist enough to pass off as Aspergers.

Although I sympathize with his depression, I think he's being a bit fraudulent and adding to the already bloated BANDWAGON that is Aspergers.

EVERYONE IS CLAIMING ********* ASPERGERS... NO!

[Roy Mars III]

the other thread wasn't good enough for you?

[sway]

the other thread wasn't good enough for you?

the other thread was about him 'having aspergers'

[Roy Mars III]

I have mild aspergers syndrome, I've been programming (coding) computers since aged 12 as a hobby whilst pursing a masters level in Architecture. I've never had a group of friends or really a best friend.

I do not think someone in a boy band can be Aspergic. My heart sank when he said he had aspergers because its easy to say that when you're going through depression and feel crap. He DOES NOT have aspergers, just because he feels crap post-breakup from his band.

I too have 'mild Aspergers' and have always had trouble, esp. when little, dealing in social situations and I see no reason why Abz can not have aspergers.

[Roy Mars III]

oh, okay, carry on then

[Blue Cadillac]

[QUOTE=08marsh;6338906]Opinion is fine. Judgement about someone's medical diagnosis with no possible way of knowing the facts is not.


Which is why I'm reserving judgement at the moment, as previously stated, if you'd care to read my posts with any diligence.

However, getting back to the point, my opinion is that Abz needn't have broadcast his alleged Asperger's on national tv - I'm not sure that was necessary, other than to possibly create a wave of sympathy. And my original point was that I felt it was unusual for a person with Asperger's to want to be so acutely in the public eye. Not impossible - just unusual.

Neither you, I nor anyone else frequenting this forum knows anything solid about Abz's 'medical diagnosis', and so it is supposition and speculation on all of our parts.

[sway]

It's hard enough to diagnose people who really have aspergers, without people leeching off the syndrome to get sympathy..

those with it get bullied, isolated, under-rated etc.. with it now being trendy and emo, those actually with it get mistaken, bullied, etc... it makes people think Aspergers is just about being 'shy, reserved' etc.....

[Roy Mars III]

[QUOTE=08marsh;6338906]Opinion is fine. Judgement about someone's medical diagnosis with no possible way of knowing the facts is not.


Which is why I'm reserving judgement at the moment, as previously stated, if you'd care to read my posts with any diligence.

However, getting back to the point, my opinion is that Abz needn't have broadcast his alleged Asperger's on national tv - I'm not sure that was necessary, other than to possibly create a wave of sympathy. And my original point was that I felt it was unusual for a person with Asperger's to want to be so acutely in the public eye. Not impossible - just unusual.

Neither you, I nor anyone else frequenting this forum knows anything solid about Abz's 'medical diagnosis', and so it is supposition and speculation on all of our parts.

because he is trying to explain why he may not be as involved with others in the house. As many people will Asperger's he may find it hard to get on well socially with the other housemates, esp. with small conversation.

[sway]

I too have 'mild Aspergers' and have always had trouble, esp. when little, dealing in social situations and I see no reason why Abz can not have aspergers.

I just dont believe he could have led that lifestyle in the 1990s and now after the split, untreated post-depression turns into 'aspergers' .. it confuses the actual syndrome.

[Roy Mars III]

I just dont believe he could have led that lifestyle in the 1990s and now after the split, untreated post-depression turns into 'aspergers' .. it confuses the actual syndrome.

it would not be the normal situation for someone with Aspergers but I don't really know his mindset or actions at the time so I'm not doing to dismiss his claim just for that

[Blue Cadillac]

[QUOTE=Blue Cadillac;6339694]

because he is trying to explain why he may not be as involved with others in the house. As many people will Asperger's he may find it hard to get on well socially with the other housemates, esp. with small conversation.

Okay. That could be a possibility. Or, could it be that the drugs he's taken in excess in the past have had an adverse affect on him? There are a number of reasons why he could be the way he is. Having worked with drug abusers in the past, I've seen this type of behaviour in abundance.

[sway]

I'm not doing to dismiss his claim just for that

well if he did lie after he lightens up a bit that'll pi$$ me off. even though as I said hes history doesnt really prove it. I bet he was 'self-diagnosed' one drunken night on a website quiz and it has changed his mental state conciously believing he is, which has molded him into some hermit. (non-aspergic hermit)

[Freddythefrog]

It is strange how someone having AS can suddenly recognise whether another person has it or not, I have a masters degree in AS and have met countless people upon the autism spectrum, some are easily distinguishable but others only display minor traits, often you need to get to know them much better to recognise how AS impacts upon them.
It is disrespectful to assume someone is or is not on the autism spectrum just because they do not show obvious stereotypical traits.
I am not saying he is or is not but in my experience, one of the last people to recognise whether someone has AS is another person with AS.

[Northern Monkey]

I don't know enough about it to comment really.I would assume that if he has been diagnosed with AS by a proffessional then they would be right though?I mean,Would he go on telly and blatently lie about it?I doubt it tbh.

[Verbal]

It is strange how someone having AS can suddenly recognise whether another person has it or not, I have a masters degree in AS and have met countless people upon the autism spectrum, some are easily distinguishable but others only display minor traits, often you need to get to know them much better to recognise how AS impacts upon them.
It is disrespectful to assume someone is or is not on the autism spectrum just because they do not show obvious stereotypical traits.
I am not saying he is or is not but in my experience, one of the last people to recognise whether someone has AS is another person with AS.

:worship:

[thesheriff443]

abz is a washed up boy band member that blew his money on drink and drugs, he gets no sympathy from me!, regardless of him having as or not.
the way he talks is a complete joke, needs to p*ss off and get a job.

[mr rochester]

I have a masters degree in AS



I did not realise one could get a Masters in a syndrome...where did you study for your Masters?

[watchinittoomuch]

More than that. Children are being awarded disability allowance and motobility allowance which is a huge incentive to get a diagnosis of Asperger's or Autism.
On motobility surely a parent already has a car and does not need a free one.
The rules are that the person who has the award must be in the car. Wonder how often that rule is broken.?

It is extremely difficult to get the level of award you are talking about, it is usually given to families with children at the most severe ends of the spectrum, possibly non verbal, need help with mobility and may need a larger child's push chair, have other disorders and conditions that further affect their diagnosis etc.. My son has Aspergers and get's lower rate care and mobility, and at 17 years old uses it himself. I think my point is it would be almost impossible to push for an autism/aspergers diagnosis purely to claim for a car or dla, theyre not easy to get, take alot of time and require a massive amount of evidence, for the diagnosis itself, and then for the dla to be awarded after.

I also cant believe some of the comments Ive read on here that its for sympathy, or that it's cool? As a parent, let me tell you, its neither, and society is neither understanding nor forgiving enough for it to become a reason to gain votes in a reality show. Most people are unaware of what aspergers really is, why the hell would they vote for it?

[qwerty8883]

I have mild aspergers syndrome, I've been programming (coding) computers since the age of 12 as a hobby whilst having just completed my masters in Architecture. I've never had a group of friends or really a best friend, as I think social groups are just benign. Although I do care about people and im not arragont or stuck up.

ABZ DOES NOT HAVE ASPERGERS.

Someone who was in a boy band could never have aspergers, and the only social problems he may have in the house may stem from depression, probably to do with his career and lifestyle binge.

Another clue in this lie, is that he says hes doing yoga and lives a detoxifying life. In a way where people will think hes excessively individualist enough to pass off as Aspergers.

Although I sympathize with his depression, I think he's being a bit fraudulent and adding to the already bloated BANDWAGON that is Aspergers.

EVERYONE IS CLAIMING ********* ASPERGERS... NO!

tell you what mate. take your head firmly out of your ass. The Autistic spectrum is on of the most diverse that you can imagine and no two people on that spectrum are alike. You cannot make a comparison with your own condition to his.

I would say that you dont have Aspergers.

[qwerty8883]

I have mild aspergers syndrome, I've been programming (coding) computers since the age of 12 as a hobby whilst having just completed my masters in Architecture. I've never had a group of friends or really a best friend, as I think social groups are just benign. Although I do care about people and im not arragont or stuck up.

ABZ DOES NOT HAVE ASPERGERS.

Someone who was in a boy band could never have aspergers, and the only social problems he may have in the house may stem from depression, probably to do with his career and lifestyle binge.

Another clue in this lie, is that he says hes doing yoga and lives a detoxifying life. In a way where people will think hes excessively individualist enough to pass off as Aspergers.

Although I sympathize with his depression, I think he's being a bit fraudulent and adding to the already bloated BANDWAGON that is Aspergers.

EVERYONE IS CLAIMING ********* ASPERGERS... NO!

infact being on the spectrum myself i would presume that you (being an aspe) would understand the fact that people on the specturm create false personalities to deal with social situations and to manage anxiety problems (this is a major factor in the cyclic breakdown of people with the condition as mental fatigue from maintaining that persona takes its toll over a prolonged period and is unsustainable for most and if not all)

Dont make wild claims about what you do and dont know without first doing the relevant research.

b�7 0� �0�r�� �0� w0��� kn0w 7h�� b��n9 @ pr09r@m9�r r�9h7?

[Livia]

No one can make a diagnosis of someone from reading about them in the press and watching them on TV. Not the best doctor, not the best specialist... no one.

[Jarvio]

I have mild aspergers syndrome, I've been programming (coding) computers since the age of 12 as a hobby whilst having just completed my masters in Architecture. I've never had a group of friends or really a best friend, as I think social groups are just benign. Although I do care about people and im not arragont or stuck up.

ABZ DOES NOT HAVE ASPERGERS.

Someone who was in a boy band could never have aspergers, and the only social problems he may have in the house may stem from depression, probably to do with his career and lifestyle binge.

Another clue in this lie, is that he says hes doing yoga and lives a detoxifying life. In a way where people will think hes excessively individualist enough to pass off as Aspergers.

Although I sympathize with his depression, I think he's being a bit fraudulent and adding to the already bloated BANDWAGON that is Aspergers.

EVERYONE IS CLAIMING ********* ASPERGERS... NO!

What a load of bollocks.

I have aspergers myself, diagnosed by a professional earlier this year - and I am insulted by this post.

The fact of the matter is, NOT ALL PEOPLE WITH ASPERGERS ARE THE SAME.

FreddyTheFrog's post nailed it tbh, I agree with him.

[watchinittoomuch]

No one can make a diagnosis of someone from reading about them in the press and watching them on TV. Not the best doctor, not the best specialist... no one.

Hello Liv, ltns:xyxwave:

What you say is completely true of course, but I can, having watched me telly, safely say that Carol loves her bevvy lol

[Blue Cadillac]

[QUOTE=qwerty8883;6339874]infact being on the spectrum myself i would presume that you (being an aspe) would understand the fact that people on the specturm create false personalities to deal with social situations and to manage anxiety problems

To be fair, I think a lot of non-Asperger's people are probably guilty of doing this too. For example, if going for a job interview, how many people might make themselves out to be someone/something they are not, in order to impress the interviewer? Many people suffer anxiety and stress in social situations, and I think there's a very fine line between everyday stress management with most folk, and how people with Asperger's cope with their anxiety - which is exacerbated tenfold, largely because those with Asperger's are unable to channel their emotions and anxieties in the same way.

[Livia]

Hello Liv, ltns:xyxwave:

What you say is completely true of course, but I can, having watched me telly, safely say that Carol loves her bevvy lol

Hey WITM!

I have a sneaking suspicion you may be right about Carol LOL...

[Jarvio]

When I was diagnosed with aspergers (which is an ASD) earlier this year it made perfect sense to me. Life is an enourmous challenge for me. This is why I am so insulted by many posts on this thread - accusing someone of not having the condition (and yes, it is a condition) is horrible.

It's called generalization - many of you people are generalizing, grouping people with an ASD together as the same.

I would never go on BB, I couldn't think of anything worse. But if Abz wants to, that doesn't mean anything about his condition, because Aspergers, and ASDs in general, are so damn broad. Nobody knows if anyone has it until they have been diagnosed - you need to either know the person really well, or a professional needs to do thorough tests on them. And even if you really know a person well, it can still be hard to tell. None of you people know Abz nor have done thorough tests on him. So stop assuming stuff.

Jesus christ I'm so angry at the world today regarding conditions. Can't people have a little sympathy?

I left this forum a few months ago, but I've been looking at threads without posting - I know I said I'd leave, but after seeing this thread I had to comment.

People should:
1 - Have sympathy, and
2 - Get their heads out of their arses and get on with their own lifes. If he has been diagnosed by a professional, then that's it. Don't assume the professional is wrong. Utter pretentiousness...

[Cherie]

It is extremely difficult to get the level of award you are talking about, it is usually given to families with children at the most severe ends of the spectrum, possibly non verbal, need help with mobility and may need a larger child's push chair, have other disorders and conditions that further affect their diagnosis etc.. My son has Aspergers and get's lower rate care and mobility, and at 17 years old uses it himself. I think my point is it would be almost impossible to push for an autism/aspergers diagnosis purely to claim for a car or dla, theyre not easy to get, take alot of time and require a massive amount of evidence, for the diagnosis itself, and then for the dla to be awarded after.

I also cant believe some of the comments Ive read on here that its for sympathy, or that it's cool? As a parent, let me tell you, its neither, and society is neither understanding nor forgiving enough for it to become a reason to gain votes in a reality show. Most people are unaware of what aspergers really is, why the hell would they vote for it?


I am waiting on Boomoo to come back and explain her post. It is the type of thing the Daily Mail churns out, with no basis in fact.

[watchinittoomuch]

Hey WITM!

I have a sneaking suspicion you may be right about Carol LOL...

That'll be the phd in pinot I have:joker:

[qwerty8883]

[QUOTE=qwerty8883;6339874]infact being on the spectrum myself i would presume that you (being an aspe) would understand the fact that people on the specturm create false personalities to deal with social situations and to manage anxiety problems

To be fair, I think a lot of non-Asperger's people are probably guilty of doing this too. For example, if going for a job interview, how many people might make themselves out to be someone/something they are not, in order to impress the interviewer? Many people suffer anxiety and stress in social situations, and I think there's a very fine line between everyday stress management with most folk, and how people with Asperger's cope with their anxiety - which is exacerbated tenfold, largely because those with Asperger's are unable to channel their emotions and anxieties in the same way.

Indeed they do but the anxiety with most people on the spectrum is quite different and very misplaced in comparison to someone who is considered normal. I presume that most people suffer from anxiety as a trait in most new social situations (due to the fact that the unknown must scare us all to some extent) However the anxiety i feel from walking out side my front door is probably (but not in all cases) ten fold as bad to that of a "normal" person.

As an example when i go into a social situation with any one person i will very carefully watch body language to gauge reactions from the person i am interacting with (quite normal i presume?). If i get even the slightest undertone that they are losing interest i will instantly change the subject matter. When this change takes places and i make my presumption based on observation, my anxiety goes from say 7/10 to 10/10 and will have a huge detrimental effect on my perceptions of how the conversation went and also weather or not i like this person due to my perception of their reaction to my conversation. I would also say that i will take my perceived knock back (which may or may not have actually been perceived by others in the same manner) in a hugely detrimental way and this will determine how i perceive them in the future. To stop this from happening over years i have learned to instead of being myself create specific persona's for specific personalities that i will come across (of course the issues arise when i start to behave as myself rather than as the persona designed to manage the anxiety in these situations)

articulating my feelings is very difficult but what i am getting at is that every social interaction for me is like say, A job interview. It doesnt matter if its with someone in a shop, the postman or an associate. Only the closest family members do not cause this problem and the Internet is another gem of a place where i do not suffer from this issue.

Now my case is probably very different from 99% of all other people who are on the autistic spectrum.

i also waffle on............:sleep::hugesmile::sleep::hugesmile: :sleep:

[DanaC]

What a fascinating insight. Thanks qwerty!

[CaudleHalbard]

I expect most of us can find a bit of mild Asperger's in ourselves, if we look hard enough! Lol! ;)

[Jarvio]

[QUOTE=Blue Cadillac;6339889]

Indeed they do but the anxiety with most people on the spectrum is quite different and very misplaced in comparison to someone who is considered normal. I presume that most people suffer from anxiety as a trait in most new social situations (due to the fact that the unknown must scare us all to some extent) However the anxiety i feel from walking out side my front door is probably (but not in all cases) ten fold as bad to that of a "normal" person.

As an example when i go into a social situation with any one person i will very carefully watch body language to gauge reactions from the person i am interacting with (quite normal i presume?). If i get even the slightest undertone that they are losing interest i will instantly change the subject matter. When this change takes places and i make my presumption based on observation, my anxiety goes from say 7/10 to 10/10 and will have a huge detrimental effect on my perceptions of how the conversation went and also weather or not i like this person due to my perception of their reaction to my conversation. I would also say that i will take my perceived knock back (which may or may not have actually been perceived by others in the same manner) in a hugely detrimental way and this will determine how i perceive them in the future. To stop this from happening over years i have learned to instead of being myself create specific persona's for specific personalities that i will come across (of course the issues arise when i start to behave as myself rather than as the persona designed to manage the anxiety in these situations)

articulating my feelings is very difficult but what i am getting at is that every social interaction for me is like say, A job interview. It doesnt matter if its with someone in a shop, the postman or an associate. Only the closest family members do not cause this problem and the Internet is another gem of a place where i do not suffer from this issue.

Now my case is probably very different from 99% of all other people who are on the autistic spectrum.

i also waffle on............:sleep::hugesmile::sleep::hugesmile: :sleep:

Bolded the part that applies immensley to myself. Any knockback by a person could ruin my entire day and I spend the entire day ruminating about it until it's resolved in my own mind. It's horrible. And others around me have no idea why I'm so affected by it.

Many of the things you say relate to me. Only I don't usually try to put on a different persona (although having said that I do sometimes mask my real self with nonsensical humour). But yes, social situations are like a job interview for me also and the anxiety levels are always so high. I try to deal with it, but deep down I am always uncomfortable, and also worried that others think lowly of me.

Only thing that doesn't apply to me though is that you said you don't struggle on the internet. I do. I try to explain my posts in an explainable way but nobody seems to understand them and it winds me up. And I'm massively effected by how people on the net can be so insulting/insensitive too.

I take things to heart WAY too much, and you know what, I've even taken this thread to heart!
I also have really bad obsessional tendencies. Like, really bad. Cleaning my teeth for example takes forever as I'm unusually careful about it. I hate being the last person out of my house because that means I have to lock the door, in which I check it's locked like 20 times.
Even watching DVDs is a chore - I constantly have to rewind them because my mind trails off and I don't understand things. Putting them back in the case is horrible because I constantly have to take them out again to re-check that I've not damaged them.

ASDs are no walk in the park!

It's all so complicated. I'm basically an obsessive worryer. Having aspergers is really difficult and when I read people's posts on here saying that people are faking it etc, it makes things 10 times worse for me.

People only think that people are faking it because every case of an ASD is different.

[qwerty8883]

What a fascinating insight. Thanks qwerty!

glad i could help :spin::hugesmile::spin:

[Jarvio]

I hope I've provided some insight too - See, I'm worrying again!

[qwerty8883]

[QUOTE=qwerty8883;6339925]

Bolded the part that applies immensley to myself. Any knockback by a person could ruin my entire day and I spend the entire day ruminating about it. It's horrible. And others around me have no idea why I'm so affected by it.

Many of the things you say relate to me. Only I never try to put on a different persona. But yes, social situations are like a job interview for me also and the anxiety levels are always so high.

Only thing that doesn't apply to me though is that you said you don't struggle on the internet. I do. I try to explain my posts in an explainable way but nobody seems to understand them and it winds me up. And I'm massively effected by how people on the net can be so insulting/insensitive too.

It's all so complicated. I'm basically an obsessive worrier. Having aspergers is really difficult and when I read people's posts on here saying that people are faking it etc, it makes things 10 times worse for me.

Ive been on computers since the Commodore+4 which i think has helped quite considerably. I find that i can be quite aggressive in my manner online which i find regrettable (after the initial posts i make on any website) but this is just dealt with by abstention of social interaction online until i have calmed down and taken stock of my own behaviour.

The most useful thing i find is to stay away from the mainstream websites and try to find likewise people which can be done easily with a bit of research.

One of the main reasons i watch BB is not because of the "love" of the show (infact most of the people on it annoy the crap out of me) but what i consider as fascinating social interactions and body language between the groups of people. My sister is a big fan, i always give my opinion on who is being false,manipulating or passively aggressive and im usually corrected by her on what she perceives is there ACTUAL feelings and reactions (5/10 times im right.......8/10 she is correct :devil::nono::devil:)

One thing i will say is that having this condition hasnt really stopped me leading a normal life. Ive served in the Armed forces, worked for a few major companies and got on with my life but periodically the cyclic breakdown will occur and they tend to get worse as times goes on. :cloud:
Its a very useful show that has helped alot!

[Marsh.]

Someone who was in a boy band could never have aspergers

Why's that? Because you declared that to be true?

[Marsh.]

Neither you, I nor anyone else frequenting this forum knows anything solid about Abz's 'medical diagnosis', and so it is supposition and speculation on all of our parts.

I never claimed to know anything about his medical condition or diagnosis. I'm merely commenting on those who seem to believe they do.

[DanaC]

You certainly did Jarvio.

I think one of the things that makes it a bit too easy for people to suggest that it is really just ordinary stuff that most of us have...is that, when reading most of the descriptions of what ASDs are like, we often see snippets to which we can relate. Many people have difficulty trusting that they have locked the door, or blown out the candles, or unplugged the iron, or whatever. We feel the need to check, for what seems like many times, but in reality may be just 2 or 3 times.

We've all experienced feeling like we have to adopt a persona in certain social situations, but though it may feel like we've played that role throughout the engagement, thinking back, we'll then find that there were also times we relaxed into the conversation and forgot to monitor what we were doing and how we were interacting.

But the scale and intensity is different. And also the critical mass of all these factors.

So people say, oh come on now, that's just shyness, by that definition I must have Aspergers, without really understanding the difference between experiencing some elements and living inside those elements.

[Jarvio]

[QUOTE=Jarvio;6339980]

Ive been on computers since the Commodore+4 which i think has helped quite considerably. I find that i can be quite aggressive in my manner online which i find regrettable (after the initial posts i make on any website) but this is just dealt with by abstention of social interaction online until i have calmed down and taken stock of my own behaviour.

The most useful thing i find is to stay away from the mainstream websites and try to find likewise people which can be done easily with a bit of research.

One of the main reasons i watch BB is not because of the "love" of the show (infact most of the people on it annoy the crap out of me) but what i consider as fascinating social interactions and body language between the groups of people. My sister is a big fan, i always give my opinion on who is being false,manipulating or passively aggressive and im usually corrected by her on what she perceives is there ACTUAL feelings and reactions (5/10 times im right.......8/10 she is correct :devil::nono::devil:)

One thing i will say is that having this condition hasnt really stopped me leading a normal life. Ive served in the Armed forces, worked for a few major companies and got on with my life but periodically the cyclic breakdown will occur and they tend to get worse as times goes on. :cloud:
Its a very useful show that has helped alot!


I'm glad to hear you're leading a normal life well, and I wish you well.
Unfortunately it's not the case with me at the moment - I still continue to struggle, even with jobs. People have not understood me in jobs, and I have often felt overwhelmed and confused at what has to be done, which leads me to either a) work carefully and slowly, which isn't good enough because the employer wants fast workers, or b) work faster and make no end of mistakes. The faster I work the more mistakes I make. That might be normal for most people, but with me it seems to be a huge case of it as I have had really harsh criticism from employers, despite trying my very hardest at the job :(

But, this was when I didn't have a diagnosis. Now that I do, hopefully employers will be more understanding and more helpful... but I don't know. I really hope so, because I sure as hell am struggling.

[Vanessa]

[QUOTE=qwerty8883;6340016]


I'm glad to hear you're leading a normal life well, and I wish you well.
Unfortunately it's not the case with me at the moment - I still continue to struggle, even with jobs. People have not understood me in jobs, and I have often felt overwhelmed and confused at what has to be done, which leads me to either a) work carefully and slowly, which isn't good enough because the employer wants fast workers, or b) work faster and make no end of mistakes. The faster I work the more mistakes I make. That might be normal for most people, but with me it seems to be a huge case of it as I have had really harsh criticism from employers, despite trying my very hardest at the job :(

But, this was when I didn't have a diagnosis. Now that I do, hopefully employers will be more understanding and more helpful... but I don't know. I really hope so, because I sure as hell am struggling.

Awwww! :hug:

[DanaC]

[QUOTE=qwerty8883;6340016]


I'm glad to hear you're leading a normal life well, and I wish you well.
Unfortunately it's not the case with me at the moment - I still continue to struggle, even with jobs. People have not understood me in jobs, and I have often felt overwhelmed and confused at what has to be done, which leads me to either a) work carefully and slowly, which isn't good enough because the employer wants fast workers, or b) work faster and make no end of mistakes. The faster I work the more mistakes I make. That might be normal for most people, but with me it seems to be a huge case of it as I have had really harsh criticism from employers, despite trying my very hardest at the job :(

But, this was when I didn't have a diagnosis. Now that I do, hopefully employers will be more understanding and more helpful... but I don't know. I really hope so, because I sure as hell am struggling.

God, that sounds really difficult to deal with. Must be so frustrating to try your hardest at something and get negative feedback for it.

[Jarvio]

[QUOTE=Jarvio;6340031]

Awwww! :hug:

Thankyou

I'd type the hug emoticon back, but don't know what it is

[Jarvio]

You certainly did Jarvio.

I think one of the things that makes it a bit too easy for people to suggest that it is really just ordinary stuff that most of us have...is that, when reading most of the descriptions of what ASDs are like, we often see snippets to which we can relate. Many people have difficulty trusting that they have locked the door, or blown out the candles, or unplugged the iron, or whatever. We feel the need to check, for what seems like many times, but in reality may be just 2 or 3 times.

We've all experienced feeling like we have to adopt a persona in certain social situations, but though it may feel like we've played that role throughout the engagement, thinking back, we'll then find that there were also times we relaxed into the conversation and forgot to monitor what we were doing and how we were interacting.

But the scale and intensity is different. And also the critical mass of all these factors.

So people say, oh come on now, that's just shyness, by that definition I must have Aspergers, without really understanding the difference between experiencing some elements and living inside those elements.

Glad I provided insight. And yes I can see what you're saying (although the door thing for me literally is about 20 times lol). You're precisely correct in that it's all about scale and intensity, and how much it affects us

[Jarvio]

[QUOTE=Jarvio;6340031]

God, that sounds really difficult to deal with. Must be so frustrating to try your hardest at something and get negative feedback for it.

Yeah it really is. I'm hoping that things will improve in the workplace now that I have a diagnosis. But at the same time I don't want to 'count my chickens'.

It's so hard to find a job these days, let alone the right job.

[qwerty8883]

[QUOTE=qwerty8883;6340016]


I'm glad to hear you're leading a normal life well, and I wish you well.
Unfortunately it's not the case with me at the moment - I still continue to struggle, even with jobs. People have not understood me in jobs, and I have often felt overwhelmed and confused at what has to be done, which leads me to either a) work carefully and slowly, which isn't good enough because the employer wants fast workers, or b) work faster and make no end of mistakes. The faster I work the more mistakes I make. That might be normal for most people, but with me it seems to be a huge case of it as I have had really harsh criticism from employers, despite trying my very hardest at the job :(

But, this was when I didn't have a diagnosis. Now that I do, hopefully employers will be more understanding and more helpful... but I don't know. I really hope so, because I sure as hell am struggling.

Im not looking for compassion here but when i said i lead i normal life what i meant was that i have been treated in a normal manner all my life. The diagnosis was only made in the last year and this was due to an on going issue with "depression" when leaving the British Army. What as treated by many Army medical practitioners and civilian GP's as "depression" was in actual fact underlying Autism. My diagnostic process has been on going since april 2007 and its only in the last 6 months that they have confirmed what i knew in the back of my mind all of my life but thought was normal and how other people were.....They treated each symptom i had individually (anger,manic depression,anxiety,repetitive intrusive thoughts)

You said here about """" a) work carefully and slowly, which isn't good enough because the employer wants fast workers, or b) work faster and make no end of mistakes. The faster I work the more mistakes I make. """"

This is exactly the same as my own experiences. I tend not to work slowly as i feel this will be detrimental to how people will perceive me and will work at a pace that i think is acceptable to them. this obviously causes mistakes and slip ups which in turn causes your boss/peer to then "come down on you" which in turn AGAIN causes you to make a pre judgement about them and become very angry and annoyed with this persons lack of understanding when you feel you have tried so hard. I suspect normal people go through exactly this all the time but the effect on there psyche from the criticism for failure doesn't get taken in the same way.

As an example without going into to much detail the last time i had "depression" (which of course it wasnt) was when i was working for a team leader for a small company. I held a team meeting and felt i was undermind by a director of this company who came into the meeting and corrected my judgement on a matter i felt i was correct in. Within 2 weeks i had a depressive episode combined with anger which lead to me consuming myself over this tiny issue and it lead to me going sick and eventually leaving the job.......Over on tiny instance....

The latter is what causes the most issues in work. If you have the condition you will look at even the smallest criticism or even work banter as a direct assault on you. This will consume you and we will perceive there is no understanding and the job will fail.

The only reason i obtained a recent diagnosis was because this cyclic breakdown had happened so much that it was directly effecting how my life panned out and started to becoming the prominent issue.

If you are finding this happening to you all the time get help, Inform Occ Health in a working environment and also your GP/Psychiatric doctor. they will start to help to cater more towards your condition. If you dont have a diagnosis and you are self diagnosed get it confirmed.... it will help ten fold in the long term...:blush::hugesmile::blush:

[courses]

[QUOTE=qwerty8883;6339925]
I also have really bad obsessional tendencies. Like, really bad. Cleaning my teeth for example takes forever as I'm unusually careful about it. I hate being the last person out of my house because that means I have to lock the door, in which I check it's locked like 20 times.
Even watching DVDs is a chore - I constantly have to rewind them because my mind trails off and I don't understand things. Putting them back in the case is horrible because I constantly have to take them out again to re-check that I've not damaged them.


Is that part of AS? I recognise that in myself as part of my OCD...

[Jarvio]

[QUOTE=Jarvio;6339980]

Is that part of AS? I recognise that in myself as part of my OCD...

Well it can probably be interlinked I suspect? I was told that many people with ASD are very obsessional.

[arista]

when i was unemployed i did voluntary work with autistic/aspergers children and he has definitely not got it.


Thank You
Dr.Conzors

[Jarvio]

[QUOTE=Jarvio;6340031]

Im not looking for compassion here but when i said i lead i normal life what i meant was that i have been treated in a normal manner all my life. The diagnosis was only made in the last year and this was due to an on going issue with "depression" when leaving the British Army. What as treated by many Army medical practitioners and civilian GP's as "depression" was in actual fact underlying Autism. My diagnostic process has been on going since april 2007 and its only in the last 6 months that they have confirmed what i knew in the back of my mind all of my life but thought was normal and how other people were.....They treated each symptom i had individually (anger,manic depression,anxiety,repetitive intrusive thoughts)

You said here about """" a) work carefully and slowly, which isn't good enough because the employer wants fast workers, or b) work faster and make no end of mistakes. The faster I work the more mistakes I make. """"

This is exactly the same as my own experiences. I tend not to work slowly as i feel this will be detrimental to how people will perceive me and will work at a pace that i think is acceptable to them. this obviously causes mistakes and slip ups which in turn causes your boss/peer to then "come down on you" which in turn AGAIN causes you to make a pre judgement about them and become very angry and annoyed with this persons lack of understanding when you feel you have tried so hard. I suspect normal people go through exactly this all the time but the effect on there psyche from the criticism for failure doesn't get taken in the same way.

As an example without going into to much detail the last time i had "depression" (which of course it wasnt) was when i was working for a team leader for a small company. I held a team meeting and felt i was undermind by a director of this company who came into the meeting and corrected my judgement on a matter i felt i was correct in. Within 2 weeks i had a depressive episode combined with anger which lead to me consuming myself over this tiny issue and it lead to me going sick and eventually leaving the job.......Over on tiny instance....

The latter is what causes the most issues in work. If you have the condition you will look at even the smallest criticism or even work banter as a direct assault on you. This will consume you and we will perceive there is no understanding and the job will fail.

The only reason i obtained a recent diagnosis was because this cyclic breakdown had happened so much that it was directly effecting how my life panned out and started to becoming the prominent issue.

If you are finding this happening to you all the time get help, Inform Occ Health in a working environment and also your GP/Psychiatric doctor. they will start to help to cater more towards your condition. If you dont have a diagnosis and you are self diagnosed get it confirmed.... it will help ten fold in the long term...:blush::hugesmile::blush:

Bolded part is so true.

And yes, I have an official diagnosis from a professional. So hopefully it will help somewhat...

[Blue Cadillac]

I never claimed to know anything about his medical condition or diagnosis. I'm merely commenting on those who seem to believe they do.

Then we're clearly in the same boat, so I'm not sure what the to-ing and fro-ing is here between your posts and mine?

[courses]

[QUOTE=courses;6340054]

Well it can probably be interlinked I suspect? I was told that many people with ASD are very obsessional.

Do you mean obsessions with certain things? i.e. my cousin knows everything there is to know about planes and it's all he talks about. But that doesn't account for the compulsion side of it like checking the door 20 times. Hmm. I'd always thought OCD was very separate to AS because of that.

[Blue Cadillac]

[QUOTE=Blue Cadillac;6339889]

Indeed they do but the anxiety with most people on the spectrum is quite different and very misplaced in comparison to someone who is considered normal. I presume that most people suffer from anxiety as a trait in most new social situations (due to the fact that the unknown must scare us all to some extent) However the anxiety i feel from walking out side my front door is probably (but not in all cases) ten fold as bad to that of a "normal" person.

As an example when i go into a social situation with any one person i will very carefully watch body language to gauge reactions from the person i am interacting with (quite normal i presume?). If i get even the slightest undertone that they are losing interest i will instantly change the subject matter. When this change takes places and i make my presumption based on observation, my anxiety goes from say 7/10 to 10/10 and will have a huge detrimental effect on my perceptions of how the conversation went and also weather or not i like this person due to my perception of their reaction to my conversation. I would also say that i will take my perceived knock back (which may or may not have actually been perceived by others in the same manner) in a hugely detrimental way and this will determine how i perceive them in the future. To stop this from happening over years i have learned to instead of being myself create specific persona's for specific personalities that i will come across (of course the issues arise when i start to behave as myself rather than as the persona designed to manage the anxiety in these situations)

articulating my feelings is very difficult but what i am getting at is that every social interaction for me is like say, A job interview. It doesnt matter if its with someone in a shop, the postman or an associate. Only the closest family members do not cause this problem and the Internet is another gem of a place where i do not suffer from this issue.

Now my case is probably very different from 99% of all other people who are on the autistic spectrum.

i also waffle on............:sleep::hugesmile::sleep::hugesmile: :sleep:

I understand all of this possibly more than you realise, since my son experiences virtually all that you mention. I was just pointing out that it's possible for all of us to experience severe anxiety and stress, and for many of us to try and 'become' someone we're not by creating different personalities within ourselves - not entirely limited to Asperger's people.

[Blue Cadillac]

[QUOTE=Jarvio;6340056]

Do you mean obsessions with certain things? i.e. my cousin knows everything there is to know about planes and it's all he talks about. But that doesn't account for the compulsion side of it like checking the door 20 times. Hmm. I'd always thought OCD was very separate to AS because of that.

I am certain the two can be interlinked, and often are.

[Beso]

I'm getting on in years and live with someone who's son has aspergers. She thinks I may have it because i say some innapropriate things..i told her to **** off.

[courses]

[QUOTE=courses;6340071]

I am certain the two can be interlinked, and often are.
Oh really I didn't know that. Explains a lot!

I'm getting on in years and live with someone who's son has aspergers. She thinks I may have it because i say some innapropriate things..i told her to **** off.
Haha!

[Jarvio]

[QUOTE=courses;6340071]

I am certain the two can be interlinked, and often are.

Yep, that's what the doctor who diagnosed me said too.

Many conditions are often interlinked.
This is kind of what I'm saying - ASDs are very broad, and the symptoms are not the same for everyone.

Another characteristic of myself that I forgot to mention is that I need everything to be set/in a routine, and if there's any change it will freak me out. Short-notice plans stress me no end, and things cannot be left unresolved in my mind or I can't function until they are.

[Beso]

[QUOTE=Blue Cadillac;6340073]

Yep, that's what the doctor who diagnosed me said too.

Many conditions are often interlinked.

Another characteristic of myself that I forgot to mention is that I need everything to be set/on a routine, and if there's any change it will freak me out. Short-notice plans stress me no end, and things cannot be left unresolved in my mind or I can't function until they are.

sarcasm can be a bugger as well..you'll get round it pal, you come across so well on here..hats of to you for being so open with us..you're a good lad.

[Jarvio]

[QUOTE=Jarvio;6340088]

sarcasm can be a bugger as well..you'll get round it pal, you come across so well on here..hats of to you for being so open with us..you're a good lad.

Thanks that means a lot :)

Sarcasm depends with me really - sometimes I get it, sometimes I don't. I guess it depends how obvious it is

[sway]

I expect most of us can find a bit of mild Asperger's in ourselves, if we look hard enough! Lol! ;)

Exactly my point. Being emo and having slight phases of depression does not mean your aspergic and nor does being shy or reclusive mean you have aspergers.

It's more to do with having a TALENT. people with aspergers are often GIFTED people.. its got f-all to do with it only being about social behaviours !!!!!!!!

christ almighty, if your feeling anti-social take some xanax and stay OUT of the aspergic spectrum you try hard to be in, because those who really have it stand less of a chance of recieving help!

[sway]

Why's that? Because you declared that to be true?

No, its logical. Being in a boy band like 5ive doesn't exactly tick the 'I would rather read a quantum physics book than go to a party" check box on the Autism test.

[Jarvio]

No, its logical. Being in a boy band like 5ive doesn't exactly tick the 'I would rather read a quantum physics book than go to a party" check box on the Autism test.

I think, out of the 2, I'd rather go to a party. Sure, there'd be social difficulties, but that's what I'd rather do. On top of this I'm a musician who has performed live (although it IS nerve-racking as hell for me).

So by your logic this means I don't have aspergers then? (even though I have a diagnosis in writing, confirmed by a professional).

Not everyone who has it are the same. Not everyone will tick the same boxes.

[kistar]

[QUOTE=DanaC;6340036]

Yeah it really is. I'm hoping that things will improve in the workplace now that I have a diagnosis. But at the same time I don't want to 'count my chickens'.

It's so hard to find a job these days, let alone the right job.

Hi jarvio, I'm certain you will learn to deal with yourself as time goes on, my Father has Aspergers and is a very very successful man in life and especially in his career, I have some aspects of the condition which I have learned to love about myself so don't worry too much , just try and accept who you are , know who you are and why and if you can try and adapt to suit social situations, for example I eat the same thing every day, it doesn't change , however I worked out a meal I am happy eating if I go to a restaurant , so if I'm invited out I call the restaurant and ask if they can help me with that and they always can. You will work out strategies so you can deal with life I promise.

[kistar]

I think, out of the 2, I'd rather go to a party. Sure, there'd be social difficulties, but that's what I'd rather do. On top of this I'm a musician who has performed live (although it IS nerve-racking as hell for me).

So by your logic this means I don't have aspergers then? (even though I have a diagnosis in writing, confirmed by a professional).

Not everyone who has it are the same. Not everyone will tick the same boxes.

Read my post it might help.

[Jarvio]

Read my post it might help.

Thanks, it's appreciated

[aman201]

Yeah, and their understanding can be quite literal as well. I remember a while back our teacher told us to not rush through our work and he took it very literally, barely doing anything within the 45 minutes. :/

:D

[kistar]

Thanks, it's appreciated

You have to learn to know your mind watch how it works and what you think you will learn that it is a machine you are at the helm of , so it should not rule you because without you it doesn't exist.

[Kizzy]

You have to learn to know your mind watch how it works and what you think you will learn that it is a machine you are at the helm of , so it should not rule you because without you it doesn't exist.

Hang on you lost me, if you separate your mind from you and you are guiding your mind who is guiding you?

[kistar]

Hang on you lost me, if you separate your mind from you and you are guiding your mind who is guiding you?

Well we are more than just what our mind tells us we are , because it limits us through beliefs and past experiences, what you think can make you feel a way , thoughts create emotions, however if you are able to see how your mind works and the way thoughts make you feel you realise that you need to be in control of it rather than letting it run away with itself .I dont like wearing odd socks it used to make me anxious but I challenged the thought one day and wore odd socks I didn't like it much however nothing bad happened and I could deal with it , proving to myself my mind sometimes needs expanding and that what it makes you feel isn't always right.

[Kizzy]

That's all well and good to challenge an irrational anxiety relating to personal idiosyncrasies. I don't however see how they can be held up against an Autistic spectrum disorder.
As in your case you could recognise the irrationality of your thought process, someone with Aspergers wouldn't necessarily identify a social faux pas if they encountered it.

[kistar]

That's all well and good to challenge an irrational anxiety relating to personal idiosyncrasies. I don't however see how they can be held up against an Autistic spectrum disorder.
As in your case you could recognise the irrationality of your thought process, someone with Aspergers wouldn't necessarily identify a social faux pas if they encountered it.

Well it's how I help myself and it works for me, my father is a sufferer and is one of the most confident people you could ever meet, mainly because he has no care or thought for anyone but himself , Aspergers has made him successful because his lack of empathy has made him ruthless in business and in his career , so it's not always social awkwardness.

[thesheriff443]

I am waiting on Boomoo to come back and explain her post. It is the type of thing the Daily Mail churns out, with no basis in fact.

I will answer a bit of what he/she said,
people can get disability living allowance, for having as, or being on the autism spectrum and in some severe cases they will get a car.

but its not a simple process to get put on the spectrum!.

a couple won the lottery but refused to give up their free mobility car!, so its swings and roundabout's.

[Verbal]

I will answer a bit of what he/she said,
people can get disability living allowance, for having as, or being on the autism spectrum and in some severe cases they will get a car.

but its not a simple process to get put on the spectrum!.

a couple won the lottery but refused to give up their free mobility car!, so its swings and roundabout's.

In order to qualify for a mobility car through the now defunct DLA, you had to have been receiving the high rate of the mobility component. I'm far from an expert on Autism, but I would imagine very few people with the condition would meet this criteria.

[thesheriff443]

In order to qualify for a mobility car through the now defunct DLA, you had to have been receiving the high rate of the mobility component. I'm far from an expert on Autism, but I would imagine very few people with the condition would meet this criteria.

that's true, but also mobility cars are not income based so you can have lottery winners still entitled to a free car.

[Verbal]

that's true, but also mobility cars are not income based so you can have lottery winners still entitled to a free car.

No you cant. If you have over a certain amount in your bank. You are breaking the law if you are claiming DLA.

[thesheriff443]

No you cant. If you have over a certain amount in your bank. You are breaking the law if you are claiming DLA.

no, in the lottery winners case it was not income based, this story made the national papers,

[Verbal]

I take that back, apparently i'm wrong about savings. I was sure my letters have always stated that if you have over a certain amount you should declare it, but apparently i'm wrong,.

[thesheriff443]

I take that back, apparently i'm wrong about savings. I was sure my letters have always stated that if you have over a certain amount you should declare it, but apparently i'm wrong,.

yes, I think its one of the only benefits not to have a saving's clause with it.

[Cherie]

I will answer a bit of what he/she said,
people can get disability living allowance, for having as, or being on the autism spectrum and in some severe cases they will get a car.

but its not a simple process to get put on the spectrum!.

a couple won the lottery but refused to give up their free mobility car!, so its swings and roundabout's.


Yeah Sherriff we deal with alot of DLA claims in the school I work in so as CH says you have qualify for the higher DLA amount which would then make you eligible for a car. It is not means tested. It was the suggestion that people actually decided to claim their children were autistic to get a free car that annoyed me. Trust me no right minded loving parent would want their child to be on the level of the autistic spectrum that entitles you to a free car.

[thesheriff443]

Yeah Sherriff we deal with alot of DLA claims in the school I work in so as CH says you have qualify for the higher DLA amount which would then make you eligible for a car. It is not means tested. It was the suggestion that people actually decided to claim their children were autistic to get a free car that annoyed me. Trust me no right minded loving parent would want their child to be on the level of the autistic spectrum that entitles you to a free car.

I know, having a child or young adult needing that level of care, it makes you think about what those parents are going thru.

my daughter has autism but was not diagnosed until she was sixteen so I know what im talking about when it comes to this subject:dance:

[Marsh.]

No, its logical. Being in a boy band like 5ive doesn't exactly tick the 'I would rather read a quantum physics book than go to a party" check box on the Autism test.

Oh, apologies, I forgot that you had to read a quantum physics book and never go to parties to be diagnosed with any form of Autism.

It's not like everyone is different is it. :rolleyes: