View Full Version : Addictions...
..(inspired by some posts in the 'controversial' thread and also BBC this morning which has an item on gambling addiction..)....
..what do you think of addictions and people who are addicted to gambling/alcohol/smoking and all other addictions and any 'issues' or problems which they may cause...are you empathetic to addicts or have no sympathy because they 'bring it on themselves'....
joeysteele
10-10-2013, 07:48 AM
I have come across someone with alcohol addiction and also a drugs addiction. I will never condemn anyone for being in that position.
It is for them and also for their families a truly horrific thing at times to go through. Thankfully the person I know who has the alcoholic addiction has been off alcohol for over a year now but he needs to be really careful where he goes but more to the point who the company may be as there are always other daft people who push and push saying one drink won't hurt you or worse still, they go to get a soft drink for him but add alcohol to it.
Support and understanding is what most of them need.
Many unfortunately will reject the help however and they sadly are on a downward spiral and it is often impossible for their families to cope with the situation.
It is not at all a nice place for anyone, addict, family or friend to be. All anyone can do is be there and hope to guide them to relevant help and support, again though if they really don't want to take the help they will just walk off and relapse.
It is easy to write people off because of addictions, life can become intolerable for some close to the addict and they also need to think of others like children that are in their lives at the time too.
So it can be understood why some feel they have to give up on someone who is an addict.
I don't subscribe to they bring it on themselves, I would hope I would never give up on someone I knew with that problem and that I could be there as a friend, not a judge as to them or to condemn them.
Sadly though lives are wrecked and others lives are wasted by such addictions once they get really serious, a very sad and bad place for anyone to find themselves in.
arista
10-10-2013, 07:52 AM
"I will never condemn anyone for being in that position."
Sit on the Fence then
AnnieK
10-10-2013, 08:14 AM
Unless you have ever been addicted to something, addiction is impossible to understand. I know a lot of people believe you can just "stop" whatever it is you are doing - drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling etc but it is not that simple. I have encountered people in my life who are addicted to all the big things and they know it is killing them and on the whole want to stop but they are so conditioned to their problems that it climbing everest would be an easier task.
I have a lot of empathy for addicts, they don't all know where to turn to get help and need the stongest support network to help them.
Don't get me wrong, some addicts are selfish and have ruined their and many lives around them but you normally find there will have been a trigger to get them in that position in the first place and they and their family and friends network need help and support to assist them in recovery
smudgie
10-10-2013, 10:54 AM
Unless you have ever been addicted to something, addiction is impossible to understand. I know a lot of people believe you can just "stop" whatever it is you are doing - drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling etc but it is not that simple. I have encountered people in my life who are addicted to all the big things and they know it is killing them and on the whole want to stop but they are so conditioned to their problems that it climbing everest would be an easier task.
I have a lot of empathy for addicts, they don't all know where to turn to get help and need the stongest support network to help them.
Don't get me wrong, some addicts are selfish and have ruined their and many lives around them but you normally find there will have been a trigger to get them in that position in the first place and they and their family and friends network need help and support to assist them in recovery
I totally agree.
Very difficult for families to have to watch their loved ones ruining their lives through any sort of addiction and not being able to really change the situation.
Vicky.
10-10-2013, 10:58 AM
I am addicted to gambling myself, and have been since a very young age. Its awful.
I KNOW how stupid it is. If I sit watching others feeding notes into bandits and such I comment on how stupid they are, yet it always draws me back in again. Once I put even a quid in, 9 times out of 10 I will end up putting every penny I have on me (and in my bank) into the damn things :/
Its very strange..
AnnieK
10-10-2013, 11:13 AM
I am addicted to gambling myself, and have been since a very young age. Its awful.
I KNOW how stupid it is. If I sit watching others feeding notes into bandits and such I comment on how stupid they are, yet it always draws me back in again. Once I put even a quid in, 9 times out of 10 I will end up putting every penny I have on me (and in my bank) into the damn things :/
Its very strange..
I think gambling is one of the hardest addictions to deal with too as there is no outside sign of it - like being drunk or high etc.
I had a friend who was addicted to the horses...before anyone knew what trouble he was in he was on the verge (and eventually did) of losing everything yet to everyone he was still his normal self as he spent every last penny looking for that big win which would pull him out of it.
I'm one of them bleeding heart types. I've been told I'll grow out of it once I "hit the real world" - whatever that is - and find the remark quite patronising.
I have mounds of empathy for people suffering in the throes of addiction. I believe in a system of forgiveness, compassion and understanding for those sick brothers and sisters.
If you can heal someone it's a hell of a lot better than some infantile, keeping it real "they did it to themselves so **** them" mentality.
..I don't think it's 'bleeding hearts' though Stu...I mean there's nothing 'lost' by showing compassion/empathy to someone and tbh, it's all a case of 'there but the grace of god..' etc..I'm not religious but you know what I mean...
..I don't think it's 'bleeding hearts' though Stu...I mean there's nothing 'lost' by showing compassion/empathy to someone and tbh, it's all a case of 'there but the grace of god..' etc..I'm not religious but you know what I mean...
Oh I know. Just making a play on the fact that this is what people who show compassion so often get quite derogatorily labelled as.
arista
10-10-2013, 11:23 AM
..I don't think it's 'bleeding hearts' though Stu...I mean there's nothing 'lost' by showing compassion/empathy to someone and tbh, it's all a case of 'there but the grace of god..' etc..I'm not religious but you know what I mean...
You are like a Disney Dream
Ammi
AnnieK
10-10-2013, 11:23 AM
I'm one of them bleeding heart types. I've been told I'll grow out of it once I "hit the real world" - whatever that is - and find the remark quite patronising.
I have mounds of empathy for people suffering in the throes of addiction. I believe in a system of forgiveness, compassion and understanding for those sick brothers and sisters.
If you can heal someone it's a hell of a lot better than some infantile, keeping it real "they did it to themselves so **** them" mentality.
Completely agree Stu :worship:
Oh I know. Just making a play on the fact that this is what people who show compassion so often get quite derogatorily labelled as.
..yeah those lovely 'labels' that we all have to wear...
You are like a Disney Dream
Ammi
..ouch, no..I'm really not Arista, I promise you...
You are like a Disney Dream
Ammi
..you know what it is Arista, it's part of my life and my job to try and understand 'behaviour'..some of it very difficult but there are always reasons for that and not just someone being 'naughty' for the sake of it...if I thought that and judged them then I would be just adding to their problems/worries in life and not helping at all ...it doesn't always or possibly not even that often make any difference to their lives/their future because there are so many environmental things that I can n ever change or do anything about...but to communicate with them, then I have to try and understand them/listen to them and what they say ...and my whole job is about 'communication'....
..and also, I don't tend to spend energy 'debating opinions' when I'm not really going to change anyone else's or they change mine most of the time..I do state them when I feel very strongly about something though....
arista
10-10-2013, 11:44 AM
"my whole job is about 'communication'...."
you would make a great Conservative MP
Life In The City.
"my whole job is about 'communication'...."
you would make a great Conservative MP
Life In The City.
...lol, I really wouldn't Arista....
Vicky.
10-10-2013, 12:09 PM
"my whole job is about 'communication'...."
you would make a great Conservative MP
Life In The City.
You got that..from ammis post about understanding people, listening to them, and basically being compassionate? :joker:
I'm fairly certain I am addicted to Codeine
You got that..from ammis post about understanding people, listening to them, and basically being compassionate? :joker:
Oh burn
I'm fairly certain I am addicted to Codeine
..that makes me feel really nauseous, well actually be sick, I was prescribed to take Tramadol and Diazepam once for back pains...whoa, what a weird combination..I wouldn't do that again...
I get a high, I love it. But it got to the point where I was taking them if I ever had a down day..
I get a high, I love it. But it got to the point where I was taking them if I ever had a down day..
..yeah I can easily see how these things can become addictive and for me anyway, because they help you sleep..(well knock you out completely..)..then I would have trouble sleeping if I stopped taking them and was really worried about how reliant I was becoming after a short time..but everyone would say to me, oh I'll have them then, I love them lol....
Vicky.
10-10-2013, 01:26 PM
Gotta love codeine. It seems to have..antidepressant qualities for me. I always feel good for a fair few hours once it kicks in. Went through a stage of having it every day a few months back, but I realised I was becoming dependent on it so cut back. I only have it now when my rib pain flairs up, but I am running out and I am worried the docs wont give me more :(
Kizzy
10-10-2013, 01:34 PM
I don't see it though....
I don't see this compassion people have filtering down into the real world.
You have people who watch jezza kyle and view it like some medieval bloodsport as he tears into some toothless woman with 6 kids and an addiction to alcohol.... Or the drug addict son who stole from his disabled mother.
That is the ugly face of addiction within communities.
I see scoffing and mocking, strivers and taxpayers baying for benefits to be stripped back to nothing.
Safety nets, child services, rehab programmes, respite, and carers allowance removed.
Everyone loves to think of themselves as so tolerant, but the truth is not many are.
Niamh.
10-10-2013, 01:37 PM
Gotta love codeine. It seems to have..antidepressant qualities for me. I always feel good for a fair few hours once it kicks in. Went through a stage of having it every day a few months back, but I realised I was becoming dependent on it so cut back. I only have it now when my rib pain flairs up, but I am running out and I am worried the docs wont give me more :(
You can get codeine in over the counter pain killers too, like solpadeine although it's probably not as strong. They have to keep it behind the counter here and you get the talk if you want to buy it :laugh: It is a bit addictive though, I don't use pain killers with codeine in anymore because I started taking them everyday for a while as well
Gotta love codeine. It seems to have..antidepressant qualities for me. I always feel good for a fair few hours once it kicks in. Went through a stage of having it every day a few months back, but I realised I was becoming dependent on it so cut back. I only have it now when my rib pain flairs up, but I am running out and I am worried the docs wont give me more :(
Yeah I feel happy for a few hours as well. Beautiful stuff, I should stay taking it at work
Vicky.
10-10-2013, 01:38 PM
Codeine never used to work at all for me. They tried giving me it for my migraines when I was a lot younger. I wonder what changed..unless they were giving me weak ones due to me being like 15 :suspect:
See one of the reasons I've gone off of it a bit is because it gives me headaches if I use it too much.
Niamh.
10-10-2013, 01:47 PM
See one of the reasons I've gone off of it a bit is because it gives me headaches if I use it too much.
Yeah same here, it was a vicious cycle
Kizzy
10-10-2013, 01:48 PM
My son gets it prescribed for migraine, have to say I've took the odd one when in a lot of pain.
Being an ex alcoholic is a bitch, I have insomnia and back pain but they won't give me anything that could lead to an addiction.
:bawling:
Find addictions something quite hard to comprehend, especially as I do drink, smoke a bit, and gamble but have always found it easy to control all of these. Must be awful to be so physically addicted to something that it completely disrupts your life though and I'd agree with what Annie said that it's probably impossible to understand if you haven't experienced it yourself, so I do sympathise
I've always thought of gambling as the most ambiguous addiction as well, because it's not a physical dependency it's a lot more of a grey area I think. Like my brother used to play loads of online poker and on the one hand it did disrupt his studies and things like his sleep pattern, but on the other he was winning loads of money and he wasn't completely obsessive over it so I dunno if he was addicted or not lol. He's pretty much packed it in now anyway though which is probably for the best
Vicky.
10-10-2013, 01:56 PM
If he was winning (and cashing out when he won) chances are hes not addicted.
My problem is I can win hundreds, but I always think 'oh I am on a roll, lets keep going' and then lose it all again,. If losing you think 'well I have to win soon' and keep depositing.
I know how ridiculous that sounds to those who arent addicted, but thats how it works.
arista
10-10-2013, 01:56 PM
You got that..from ammis post about understanding people, listening to them, and basically being compassionate? :joker:
Yes ideal for TV interviews
Front Bench Conservative job
I am not joking here
My son gets it prescribed for migraine, have to say I've took the odd one when in a lot of pain.
Being an ex alcoholic is a bitch, I have insomnia and back pain but they won't give me anything that could lead to an addiction.
:bawling:
I know most herbal stuff is B.S. but I've found Valerian root extract in dropper form quite good for insomnia.
5-HTP supplements also act as a precursor to melatonin and seem to promote deeper, dreamier sleeps once you can actually achieve that state.
Kizzy
11-10-2013, 01:50 PM
yep heard some really good things about 5-HTP too, taken valerian in the past might give it a go again thanks.
Verbal
13-10-2013, 10:19 AM
I've been thinking about this subject, and i've had a sort of epiphany. I am addicted to the Internet and have been for years.
I get up in the morning, first thing I do - turn the PC on. Come home from work, first thing I do - turn the PC on and sit on it until I go to bed. I finished work on Friday and have barely moved from my PC. I've not even been to bed, i've fallen asleep sitting here.
I do my shopping, banking and socialising via the PC.
I was just thinking, if the Internet ceased to exist right now what would I do? And I honestly have no idea, which is quite a scarey thought. I havent even been into a shop bigger than the local corner shop for years because I do it all online. If it wasnt for the internet I would probably be about 6 stone lighter.
I've been thinking about this subject, and i've had a sort of epiphany. I am addicted to the Internet and have been for years.
I get up in the morning, first thing I do - turn the PC on. Come home from work, first thing I do - turn the PC on and sit on it until I go to bed. I finished work on Friday and have barely moved from my PC. I've not even been to bed, i've fallen asleep sitting here.
I do my shopping, banking and socialising via the PC.
I was just thinking, if the Internet ceased to exist right now what would I do? And I honestly have no idea, which is quite a scarey thought. I havent even been into a shop bigger than the local corner shop for years because I do it all online. If it wasnt for the internet I would probably be about 6 stone lighter.
...I think it is an 'addiction' for many people...if it ceased to exist for you only then that would be extremely difficult because you would probably feel as though the whole world was existing/living without you sort of thing..?...but if it ceased to exist completely for anyone, then I think maybe we would all adjust to that quite easily...?...
Verbal
13-10-2013, 10:33 AM
...I think it is an 'addiction' for many people...if it ceased to exist for you only then that would be extremely difficult because you would probably feel as though the whole world was existing/living without you sort of thing..?...but if it ceased to exist completely for anyone, then I think maybe we would all adjust to that quite easily...?...
When in the house the first and only thing I do i sort of zone out infront of the PC.
I use the Internet as sort of an emotional crutch. If it ceased to exist then I would adjust because I would have to, and I think it would do me nothing but good.
Genuinely going to look up internet addiction now.
When in the house the first and only thing I do i sort of zone out infront of the PC.
I use the Internet as sort of an emotional crutch. If it ceased to exist then I would adjust because I would have to, and I think it would do me nothing but good.
Genuinely going to look up internet addiction now.
..I think I have read stuff about internet addiction because obviously the internet is a huge part of most people's lives now..and if we didn't have it then as you say, we would adjust but it probably wouldn't be easy and especially as you're encouraged to use it to sort of conduct your everyday life..shopping/banking etc..and it's a wealth of information and so quickly..how much longer it would take to go to the library and look something up for instance....I don't know, I guess it depends on whether you yourself or anyone is conscious of it and wants to stop/cut down etc because it is just today's social networking for everyone and if we didn't have it..?...some may say that we would 'communicate more' perhaps..but in another way we would communicate less because we're constantly communicating on the internet...and that has to be a good/positive thing..?...
Jesus.
13-10-2013, 10:44 AM
I don't want to live in a world where I can't see Japanese girls and octopus tentacles within 2 or 3 clicks of the mouse.
Verbal
13-10-2013, 10:47 AM
..I think I have read stuff about internet addiction because obviously the internet is a huge part of most people's lives now..and if we didn't have it then as you say, we would adjust but it probably wouldn't be easy and especially as you're encouraged to use it to sort of conduct your everyday life..shopping/banking etc..and it's a wealth of information and so quickly..how much longer it would take to go to the library and look something up for instance....I don't know, I guess it depends on whether you yourself or anyone is conscious of it and wants to stop/cut down etc because it is just today's social networking for everyone and if we didn't have it..?...some may say that we would 'communicate more' perhaps..but in another way we would communicate less because we're constantly communicating on the internet...and that has to be a good/positive thing..?...
Its the lack of actual social interaction that rises as a problem of using the internet. 10 years ago I would not have thought twice about going out to town shopping or whatever, now the idea fills me with dread and sites like amazon etc totally negate the need to face up to any anxiety you may have.
Its the lack of actual social interaction that rises as a problem of using the internet. 10 years ago I would not have thought twice about going out to town shopping or whatever, now the idea fills me with dread and sites like amazon etc totally negate the need to face up to any anxiety you may have.
...yeah I do understand what you mean..in a way people socialise more because of the internet because, say if you did go to the shops etc..you may not meet many people or chat but in that time it took you to go on the internet you could have 'clicked' your shopping and spent some time chatting with friends etc as well..and also on things like forums, here....you get to 'meet' people that you wouldn't necessarily meet in 'real life' and can find things in common and share opinions etc..so it has huge advantages and positives over not having it or using it...but if it's to the extent that you do have anxieties about going out somewhere when you need to, then it is a problem that you need to address...(I didn't mean you as in you btw..just as in people in general..)...
Verbal
13-10-2013, 11:03 AM
...yeah I do understand what you mean..in a way people socialise more because of the internet because, say if you did go to the shops etc..you may not meet many people or chat but in that time it took you to go on the internet you could have 'clicked' your shopping and spent some time chatting with friends etc as well..and also on things like forums, here....you get to 'meet' people that you wouldn't necessarily meet in 'real life' and can find things in common and share opinions etc..so it has huge advantages and positives over not having it or using it...but if it's to the extent that you do have anxieties about going out somewhere when you need to, then it is a problem that you need to address...(I didn't mean you as in you btw..just as in people in general..)...
No you're right it is my problem, and it is largely self corrective. I've just never thought of it.
Change is afoot...
No you're right it is my problem, and it is largely self corrective. I've just never thought of it.
Change is afoot...
..I think a really hard part of 'addressing' any addiction is to realise that you have one or that, that's what you feel it is..and you've obviously given it thought and decided that you yourself want to make changes in your life, so for you those will be very positive and something that will make you feel good about yourself..?...and that in itself will give you more and more confidence, as you feel proud with yourself ...and that will help you to achieve what you want to...for me personally, setting myself a 'goal' for something always helps...sort of giving myself a date/deadline and a task etc that I want to achieve by then..and also not making that 'achievement' too taxing/difficult..just a little at a time..step by step....
..I have to go offline for a little while but I'll look and see if I can find some advice sites that may help you and be worth looking at later, ok.....
Verbal
13-10-2013, 11:22 AM
..I think a really hard part of 'addressing' any addiction is to realise that you have one or that, that's what you feel it is..and you've obviously given it thought and decided that you yourself want to make changes in your life, so for you those will be very positive and something that will make you feel good about yourself..?...and that in itself will give you more and more confidence, as you feel proud with yourself ...and that will help you to achieve what you want to...for me personally, setting myself a 'goal' for something always helps...sort of giving myself a date/deadline and a task etc that I want to achieve by then..and also not making that 'achievement' too taxing/difficult..just a little at a time..step by step....
..I have to go offline for a little while but I'll look and see if I can find some advice sites that may help you and be worth looking at later, ok.....
Thank you Ammi. I've just done a quick search on internet addiction and it is largely dismissed as a fad, which is a little disheartening. Its very real, and i'm the poster boy for it.
I can sit and say that i'm going to actually do my shopping physically and so on, but I know I wont when it comes to it, because its so easy just to log onto tesco and do it sat here. Unless someone physically stopped me from sitting here all day, i'm not gonna change and they'll probably find me at 45 dead infront of the PC covered in Guiness and Pizza logged onto TiBB :joker:
There is no doubt the Internet is a major issue for me, and as other sites suggest it may be a symptom of another condition, which I agree with. I am on medication for anxiety. But again, sitting here just acts as another convenient crutch.
Kizzy
13-10-2013, 11:54 AM
I'm surprised really,I thought there would be a lot of info on it as it is such a big problem for some.
There have been stories in the past of cases of deep vein thrombosis due to hours sat gaming, so this to me is a natural progression.
Everything is so damned easy to do online and is made that way for people who have busy lives, trouble is those who don't have busy lives can still access the services! haha.
Admitting you have an addiction to anything is the hardest part, as it affects most aspects of your life I would say you are too.
The most important part of breaking an addiction is thatyou really want to... sounds daft but it is.
And you do so that's a bonus, work out on paper how you could achieve this, write a daily schedule for yourself that fills your day leaving only a permitted window for browsing?
Verbal
13-10-2013, 12:03 PM
I'm surprised really,I thought there would be a lot of info on it as it is such a big problem for some.
There have been stories in the past of cases of deep vein thrombosis due to hours sat gaming, so this to me is a natural progression.
Everything is so damned easy to do online and is made that way for people who have busy lives, trouble is those who don't have busy lives can still access the services! haha.
Admitting you have an addiction to anything is the hardest part, as it affects most aspects of your life I would say you are too.
The most important part of breaking an addiction is thatyou really want to... sounds daft but it is.
And you do so that's a bonus, work out on paper how you could achieve this, write a daily schedule for yourself that fills your day leaving only a permitted window for browsing?
Its not so much admitting it, its realising it. I've never really considered it an addiction, its just what I do.
When I hear addiction my definition of it is if its infringing on your daily life then you have a problem. This does for me, and has for 5-6 years or more. Wanting to do something and actually doing something about it are two very different things. I could turn the PC off now and do 4 or 5 things that need to be done, but I wont and there is nobody around me to tell me otherwise, which just compounds the issue.
Kizzy
13-10-2013, 12:12 PM
With an addiction nobody can tell you what to do an it has any effect anyway, you have to tell yourself....
At the risk of sounding totally nuts I spent weeks 'having a word with myself' about it, and reasoning with my subconscious that this was a good idea for both of us.
(I did say it would sound nuts!)
You could switch the PC off now but I wouldn't as aware as you are that it's impacting on your quality of life I would do a bit of preparation first.
Thank you Ammi. I've just done a quick search on internet addiction and it is largely dismissed as a fad, which is a little disheartening. Its very real, and i'm the poster boy for it.
I can sit and say that i'm going to actually do my shopping physically and so on, but I know I wont when it comes to it, because its so easy just to log onto tesco and do it sat here. Unless someone physically stopped me from sitting here all day, i'm not gonna change and they'll probably find me at 45 dead infront of the PC covered in Guiness and Pizza logged onto TiBB :joker:
There is no doubt the Internet is a major issue for me, and as other sites suggest it may be a symptom of another condition, which I agree with. I am on medication for anxiety. But again, sitting here just acts as another convenient crutch.
..I haven't had a chance to look through these yet Verbal..but maybe see if they are of any help..?...
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/internet_cybersex_addiction.htm
http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2012/10/02/the-new-mental-health-disorder-internet-addiction/
http://netaddiction.com/internet-addiction-test/
http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv/Internet-addiction-disorder.html
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Internet-Addiction/advice
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/10093011/Help-at-last-for-the-addicts-enslaved-by-the-internet.html
http://forums.psychcentral.com/gambling-tv-internet-addiction/173421-how-can-i-stop-being-addicted-internet.html
..the irony of help sites on the internet lol....
...I'll look through them myself as well later when I have more time...and well, if you want to talk over what you think would maybe be best for you or anything... and just doing a little at a time and things you feel are achievable and that wont make you feel anxious.... ok..?....
EDIT:...one of the things it does mention in there is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which many people find very effective for lots of things including addictions/self esteem etc...it's all about 'breaking down' your anxieties into smaller bits so that you can tackle it a bit at a time, rather than the whole thing in one go, sort of thing....which can be quite scary and create more layers of anxiety which would only make it worse....
Verbal
13-10-2013, 01:55 PM
..I haven't had a chance to look through these yet Verbal..but maybe see if they are of any help..?...
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/internet_cybersex_addiction.htm
http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2012/10/02/the-new-mental-health-disorder-internet-addiction/
http://netaddiction.com/internet-addiction-test/
http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv/Internet-addiction-disorder.html
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Internet-Addiction/advice
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/10093011/Help-at-last-for-the-addicts-enslaved-by-the-internet.html
http://forums.psychcentral.com/gambling-tv-internet-addiction/173421-how-can-i-stop-being-addicted-internet.html
..the irony of help sites on the internet lol....
...I'll look through them myself as well later when I have more time...and well, if you want to talk over what you think would maybe be best for you or anything... and just doing a little at a time and things you feel are achievable and that wont make you feel anxious.... ok..?....
EDIT:...one of the things it does mention in there is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which many people find very effective for lots of things including addictions/self esteem etc...it's all about 'breaking down' your anxieties into smaller bits so that you can tackle it a bit at a time, rather than the whole thing in one go, sort of thing....which can be quite scary and create more layers of anxiety which would only make it worse....
Thanks Ammi thats very kind of you to search for all of those I will take a look this afternoon. Regarding CBT I have been offered that due to me being medicated for social anxiety, the 'therapist' that offered it to me gave me an address for a website where you basically do this self help thing, it was very patronising and pretty useless really. I've not actually attended a live CBT session as it where as I kind of talk myself out of going anywhere these days :joker:
thesheriff443
13-10-2013, 02:02 PM
good people can get addictions but if its a long term addiction you are no longer talking to the person you once knew! there is only a shell of that person!
if anddiction goes on for so long that person will never return and they are living just to feed their habbit.
Kizzy
13-10-2013, 02:05 PM
I would bite the bullet and go, the more you do it the easier it will be.
Have you ever heard of neuro-linguistic programming?
That's helpful to do yourself inbetween therapy and meds, every little helps :)
if anddiction goes on for so long that person will never return
That's a good example of something which has been disproven countless times, yes.
thesheriff443
13-10-2013, 02:11 PM
That's a good example of something which has been disproven countless times, yes.
so the hundreds of thousands of life long addicts that die from their addictions come back!
so the hundreds of thousands of life long addicts that die from their addictions come back!
No, the dead don't rise silly. The hundreds of thousands who beat their life long addictions and disprove your overtly simplistic analysis do, though.
GypsyGoth
13-10-2013, 02:53 PM
Is addiction anything more than a handy label to use when someone is continually making bad choices?
In a way it kinda makes the bad choices, like having another cigarette that everyone knows damages their lungs, seem like it's not as much their fault. Like just being a nicotine addict kinda absolves you of directly being responsible for the self harming.
And what of people who are able to give up such things, are they more strong minded than those who don't? Were they perhaps less addicted?
Would any sane person make choices like continually taking something like heroin, even though it results in them losing everything and being left alone and homeless?
Is it all just some type of myth?
Like endorphins are released when we do certain behaviour, some people love the feeling so much they repeat that certain behaviour like a person with ocd.
Nah, addiction is way more than just making bad choices..
I'd say that having a cream cake with my lunch today was a bad choice.. The cigarette I had after if (albeit an electronic one) was not a choice at all.. In my head, it was a nessesity.
Kizzy
13-10-2013, 03:00 PM
I don't know, I say addiction exists as I was... but now I'm not.
i can't explain how or why, but I know that if I could bottle how I did it I'd be a multi- millionaire! :laugh:
GypsyGoth
13-10-2013, 03:10 PM
Nah, addiction is way more than just making bad choices..
I'd say that having a cream cake with my lunch today was a bad choice.. The cigarette I had after if (albeit an electronic one) was not a choice at all.. In my head, it was a nessesity.
That's how I look at coffee, I know I'm addicted to it, but I could wean myself off it, but I chose not to, I enjoy it, and as such if I don't have a mug of coffee before I go to work, I get a fierce headache in the mornings. So it is kinda needed for me to function.
And some people do become addicted to food, and I remember reading before that sugar is one of the most difficult things to try and give up.
I don't know, I say addiction exists as I was... but now I'm not.
i can't explain how or why, but I know that if I could bottle how I did it I'd be a multi- millionaire! :laugh:
Maybe it's that everyone could give up if they put their minds to it, but the majority chose not to, like it's a security blanket, and they defined themselves as an addict of such-and-such so to give that up, they would have to in a way rebuild their self identity.
Did you just quit one day?
Thanks Ammi thats very kind of you to search for all of those I will take a look this afternoon. Regarding CBT I have been offered that due to me being medicated for social anxiety, the 'therapist' that offered it to me gave me an address for a website where you basically do this self help thing, it was very patronising and pretty useless really. I've not actually attended a live CBT session as it where as I kind of talk myself out of going anywhere these days :joker:
...hmm, yeah I've heard of that 'self help' internet thing before and for you it seems silly because that would be telling you to use the internet when that's what you're trying not to do, whereas if you were to go to a therapist then that would be you going our and a goal in itself...but from your last sentence, you would find that too difficult atm anyway..?...maybe a smaller goal first, something less scary..?...
..CBT does work, I promise you..well obviously different therapies work for different people but CBT is particularly good for addictions/self esteem/confidence building as I said before and it is all about just dealing with what's in front of you...like don't think about actually going to a therapy group and people being there or you having to talk or anything..but literally a step by step thing...getting dressed..walking out the door...walking along the road etc..and realising/seeing that the things your mind feared aren't actually there because we create our own biggest 'fears' ourselves and build them up in our heads to be so much more huge than reality...do you know what I mean..?....maybe you wouldn't get to that therapy group the first time or even the second etc..but that would be your goal..?....
Ithinkiloveyoutoo
13-10-2013, 05:07 PM
I have sympathy for all but sex addicts. I always feel like people that cheat use that as an excuse.
Kizzy
13-10-2013, 05:15 PM
I just stopped one day after 15yrs of drinking every day.
There was a lot of behind the scenes things going on, I was affected physically, psychologically and emotionally.
The weeks leading up were spent pleading with myself literally...
I saw my addiction/compusion as a part of my subconscious I needed to reason with, for the benefit of all of me.
The day I stopped drinking I also stopped biting my nails... I find that the most odd funnily :joker:
thesheriff443
13-10-2013, 05:48 PM
I just stopped one day after 15yrs of drinking every day.
There was a lot of behind the scenes things going on, I was affected physically, psychologically and emotionally.
The weeks leading up were spent pleading with myself literally...
I saw my addiction/compusion as a part of my subconscious I needed to reason with, for the benefit of all of me.
The day I stopped drinking I also stopped biting my nails... I find that the most odd funnily :joker:
its great you can talk openly about it!, its another true sign that you got the control back that you had lost.
lostalex
13-10-2013, 06:29 PM
It would take too long for me to properly educate the people here about addiction.
All i'll say is that it is a medical disorder, just like anorexia.
Kizzy
13-10-2013, 11:02 PM
I think anorexia is an entirely different compulsion.
And yep sheriff it's important for me anyway to be honest, after years of hiding it very well as what is now called a 'functioning' alcoholic I decided to get real and come clean.
lostalex
13-10-2013, 11:06 PM
kizzy, opinionated on everything, expert on nothing.
something about jack of all trades, it's like a saying or something.
BLAAAAHHH!
Marsh.
13-10-2013, 11:21 PM
I was just about to post that I think I have a mild internet addiction and then I saw Verbal's post.
So much gets put off and not done because of browsing. Even when you tell yourself you have 10 minutes or an hour to do what you need, have a quick look at the news, check the forum or whatever. Then before you know it it's 5 hours later and you've only noticed because you're getting hunger pangs. We are slaves to our screens.
My uni deadlines and such help keep me in check in terms of work, if I have those looming the anxiety/dread forces me to get stuff done.
Ninastar
13-10-2013, 11:25 PM
i'll find any reason to have some calpol
but i wouldn't say i was addicted
Brother Leon
13-10-2013, 11:32 PM
I think I am addicted to the thrill of doing things very last minute. There is no other explanation.
Kizzy
13-10-2013, 11:59 PM
kizzy, opinionated on everything, expert on nothing.
something about jack of all trades, it's like a saying or something.
BLAAAAHHH!
So... Just like the rest of the forum then?
If you don't like what I say don't read my posts alex.
lostalex
14-10-2013, 12:39 AM
So... Just like the rest of the forum then?
If you don't like what I say don't read my posts alex.
i'm just kidding kizzy. you are a very valuable member of the forum. It wouldn't be the same without you. But on addiction, i have a different experience.
that's fair right?
Kizzy
14-10-2013, 12:43 AM
I suppose, I meant anorexia was different as it meant not doing something as opposed to doing something is all.
lostalex
14-10-2013, 01:49 AM
I suppose, I meant anorexia was different as it meant not doing something as opposed to doing something is all.
which is ironic, because most addictions are all about trying to NOT do something. i get what you mean. but it is the same feeling.
It's really about extremes. all or nothing. in addicts mind it's all or nothing., it's extremes. it's hard to explain.
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