View Full Version : 'Am I pretty or ugly' Youtube trend for young teenage girls...
'There’s A YouTube trend among teenage girls called “Pretty Or Ugly,” and it’s hugely troubling
Almost half a million girls have uploaded videos onto YouTube, inviting internet trolls to validate their appearances
That’s almost half a million girls between the ages of 9 and 14 posting videos online asking strangers to assess whether they’re pretty or ugly
The weird thing is, the girls uploading these videos aren’t stupid.
They’re part of an internet-savvy generation. They’ve seen the other videos. They know that uploading their own and putting themselves up for scrutiny will invite brutal criticism from internet trolls.
And yet they do it anyway
Louise Orwin, a 26-year-old artist from London, decided to explore this disturbing phenomenon
“For the last couple of years I’ve been looking at how teenage girls use social media,” Orwin said. “That’s how I came across a Tumblr video of a young girl asking strangers how attractive she was. She was so earnest. I found that really interesting; the way she was talking about something so dark but expressing it so innocently.”
It didn’t take long for Orwin to find Reddit threads, Yahoo! Answers boards, and over 40 pages of YouTube videos, dedicated same question.
“I’m an artist and I’m a feminist,” Orwin explained. “I thought: I’ve got to do something.”
So Orwin created three teenage alter egos and uploaded two-minute videos of each of them to YouTube.
All three asked the same question: Am I pretty or ugly?
“They were called Becky, Baby, and Amanda,” Orwin told BuzzFeed. “Becky was your standard rock chick, wearing heavy eye makeup and playing an emo soundtrack in the background. Baby was a Britney Spears wannabe. And Amanda was me, without makeyup, in a wig, wearing glasses.”
In total, the three videos received 4,000 comments. Baby, “the most conventionally good looking of the characters,” received the most the most attention, but it was the internet’s reaction to Becky that shocked Louise. “About a month after I posted it, there was a real spike in interest,” she said'
..the rest of the story/Youtube vids and some of the comments they have attracted...
http://www.buzzfeed.com/tabathaleggett/theres-a-youtube-trend-called-pretty-or-ugly
lostalex
10-11-2013, 06:46 AM
I don't understand why it's disturbing.
The truth is most people think they are better looking than they actually are. It's probably a good thing for people to hear the truth about themselves so they can have more realistic expectations.
when ever you see a fat girl in tight clothes, they really think that they look good. self-delusion is very powerful.
most people when they look in the mirror focus on one part of themselves that they like. Most people will say things to themselves like "i have really nice eyes" or "i have really nice breasts" and completely block out the bigger picture. Most unattractive people really don't know that they are unattractive.
You see it all the time, hideous repulsive men walking around like they are god's gift to women, or fat sloppy women marching around in tight clothes like they are models.
people are very delusional about how other people see them.
..I don't agree that 'most people think they are better looking than they are' though, Alex...I think that no matter what anyone else thinks, people in general will look in the mirror and only see what they see and that has more to do with self-esteem than physical appearances...there are many conventionally 'attractive' people and I guess females in this instance, just because the article is about girls in particular.. who no matter how much they are complimented for their appearance, can think that they're 'ugly' because they have no or very little self confidence and that's how they see themselves..you see it all the time when someone thinks that of themselves and you think ...'huh, but you're gorgeous..'..and that's really sad....
..and I guess someone could see it as people wearing clothes that don't suit their figure as a bad thing but they have the confidence in themselves to do it, so that's a good thing....
Nedusa
10-11-2013, 07:50 AM
And people wonder why teenage suicides are on the increase..!!!!
lostalex
10-11-2013, 07:57 AM
I think girls should be confident for other reasons, not how good-looking or how ugly they are.
The problem is not girls being ugly, the problem is that girls think that being attractive is the only way to be self-confident. So you see a lot of ugly girls marching around trying to be pretty, but they aren't pretty they are ugly, they need to realize that.
Girls should have self worth even if they are ugly. They should be proud of being smart, or talented, or for the good work they do. Being good looking doesn't make you a good person.
The problem is not with people telling ugly girls that they are ugly, the problem is that girls think that how they look has anything to do with their own worth as a person. You can be a great person without being "sexy". You can be an amazing person even though you are physically unattractive.
But marching around needing a confidence boost from other people, being hypersensitive, needing constant reassurance from other people that you are good looking, that just makes you look like a twat.
Here's a shocking statement, how you look IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 08:01 AM
I think girls should be confident for other reasons, not how good-looking or how ugly they are.
The problem is not girls being ugly, the problem is that girls think that being attractive is the only way to be self-confident. So you see a lot of ugly girls marching around trying to be pretty, but they aren't pretty they are ugly, they need to realize that.
Girls should have self worth even if they are ugly. They should be proud of being smart, or talented, or for the good work they do. Being good looking doesn't make you a good person.
The problem is not with people telling ugly girls that they are ugly, the problem is that girls think that how they look has anything to do with their own worth as a person.
Here's a shocking statement, how you look IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!
the problem is, image is now more important that anything else.
lostalex
10-11-2013, 08:04 AM
the problem is, image is now more important that anything else.
it's only important to assholes, and who cares what assholes think anyway?
I think girls should be confident for other reasons, not how good-looking or how ugly they are.
The problem is not girls being ugly, the problem is that girls think that being attractive is the only way to be self-confident. So you see a lot of ugly girls marching around trying to be pretty, but they aren't pretty they are ugly, they need to realize that.
Girls should have self worth even if they are ugly. They should be proud of being smart, or talented, or for the good work they do. Being good looking doesn't make you a good person.
The problem is not with people telling ugly girls that they are ugly, the problem is that girls think that how they look has anything to do with their own worth as a person. You can be a great person without being "sexy". You can be an amazing person even though you are physically unattractive.
But marching around needing a confidence boost from other people, being hypersensitive, needing constant reassurance from other people that you are good looking, that just makes you look like a twat.
Here's a shocking statement, how you look IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!
..yeah, I totally agree that physical appearance isn't what makes an 'attractive' person and beauty is subjective anyway...but isn't that why this is disturbing though, some of these girls are as young as 9yrs old and people are already commenting on their physical appearance in a negative way..and then they're asking total strangers/trolls on the internet to make comment on that....
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 08:08 AM
it's only important to assholes, and who cares what assholes think anyway?
the assholes around the world make so much money from filling peoples heads with its all about image, the people that young girls listen too, are in the asshole's pockets.
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 08:10 AM
..yeah, I totally agree that physical appearance isn't what makes an 'attractive' person and beauty is subjective anyway...but isn't that why this is disturbing though, some of these girls are as young as 9yrs old and people are already commenting on their physical appearance in a negative way..and then they're asking total strangers/trolls on the internet to make comment on that....
I think these girls get it off their parents and are bombarded by the media that its all about the way you look.
lostalex
10-11-2013, 08:12 AM
..yeah, I totally agree that physical appearance isn't what makes an 'attractive' person and beauty is subjective anyway...but isn't that why this is disturbing though, some of these girls are as young as 9yrs old and people are already commenting on their physical appearance in a negative way..and then they're asking total strangers/trolls on the internet to make comment on that....
well that's why it's important for girls (and boys) to have positive role models in real life. and that's where parents come in. If you let your children be raised by TV and media, then of course they will have issues. kids need positive role models in real life.
If you ignore your kids and the only real influence they have is what they see in our commercial world where everyone is a super model celebrity with airbrushing and special lighting and editing, then of course they will have unrealistic expectations for themselves.
That's a parenting issue though.
If your kid thinks what they see on TV is real, or that they need to live up to that standard, then you have done a crap job as a parent.
I know my parents did a good job because when i was growing up i hated all of that superficial crap. I laughed at the cheerleaders in my high school. I could spot a poseur from a mile away when i was growing up.
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 08:15 AM
well that's why it's important for girls (and boys) to have positive role models in real life. and that's where parents come in. If you let your children be raised by TV and media, then of course they will have issues. kids need positive role models in real life.
If you ignore your kids and the only real influence they have is what they see in our commercial world where everyone is a super model celebrity with airbrushing and special lighting and editing, then of course they will have unrealistic expectations for themselves.
That's a parenting issue though.
If your kid thinks what they see on TV is real, then you have done a crap job as a parent.
this is a society issue now, it gone past the good parent stage as they them selfes are part of the problem.
lostalex
10-11-2013, 08:20 AM
i don't think it's the entire internet's job to raise kids. To expect the entire internet to act like parents to these kids, i just think that's unrealistic and absurd.
I think these girls get it off their parents and are bombarded by the media that its all about the way you look.
well that's why it's important for girls (and boys) to have positive role models in real life. and that's where parents come in. If you let your children be raised by TV and media, then of course they will have issues. kids need positive role models in real life.
If you ignore your kids and the only real influence they have is what they see in our commercial world where everyone is a super model celebrity with airbrushing and special lighting and editing, then of course they will have unrealistic expectations for themselves.
That's a parenting issue though.
If your kid thinks what they see on TV is real, then you have done a crap job as a parent.
..obviously a parent can play a big part in reassuring/guiding their children and are a huge influence at a young age especially but I don't agree that this is just a 'parenting' thing in that it's these girls' friends/peers who are commenting on their physical looks initially, which has led to this and a parent can step in of course..but in my experience of families at school, they don't always know everything and therefore can't act....I think where a parent's responsibility in the first place is to always from when a child is able to communicate vebally, to constantly encourage communication..but obviously, even then..a lot of young teenage people can go though phases in their lives/hormonal changes in their lives etc, when they become 'closed' to adults in particular....
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 08:23 AM
i don't think it's the entire internet's job to raise kids. To expect the entire internet to act like parents to these kids, i just think that's unrealistic and absurd.
I never said it was:shocked:
if you look to the parents to steer their kids in the right direction then this will fail.
we have terms now like yummy mummy and milf, women are spending more on their image and fitness and their kids see this.
lostalex
10-11-2013, 08:29 AM
I think it's about parents teaching their children critical thinking. Children who are taught to think critically, and to realize that what they see in media is for marketing purposes, they understand that what they see is the ideal, not reality. in the same way when they are learning science and math, they don't have to be as smart as stephen hawking to be a scientist or mathematician.
It's not society's job to cater to children. It is the parent's job. I am an adult, and i shouldn't have to be thinking about what YOUR child might see when i post on the internet. That's YOUR job as a parent. not mine.
I never said it was:shocked:
if you look to the parents to steer their kids in the right direction then this will fail.
we have terms now like yummy mummy and milf, women are spending more on their image and fitness and their kids see this.
..yeah, there might be some of that contributing but I honestly don't think that can be completely blamed because parents aren't the only influence on their children, they get to an age when peer opinions become more valid to them and a parent can help with that, I agree if they see the 'wrongs' but they don't always know straight away though...I know of perfectly good parents who don't allow their children to watch any 'trash' TV/read magazines etc...and their children are still exposed to things in a playground/friendship situation...it's really hard for a parent to see everything all the time...and hard for them they are often 'judged' for not doing so...
I think it's about parents teaching their children critical thinking. Children who are taught to think critically, and to realize that what they see in media is for marketing purposes, they understand that what they see is the ideal, not reality. in the same way when they are learning science and math, they don't have to be as smart as stephen hawking to be a scientist or mathematician.
It's not society's job to cater to children. It is the parent's job. I am an adult, and i shouldn't have to be thinking about what YOUR child might see when i post on the internet. That's YOUR job as a parent. not mine.
..yeah, it is very much the parent's job..and the school's job...and there's influences from peers/friendship groups etc..it's a joint thing, constantly, otherwise it'll be hard for it to work with that responsibility just coming from one direction...
lostalex
10-11-2013, 08:37 AM
My parents didn't let me watch The Simpsons. I watched it every time i went over to my friends house. he taped it for me. You know what though? it made me think about why did they didn't let me watch it. It forced me to think about it. So even if they still see it, at least they have to think about it.
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 08:39 AM
..yeah, there might be some of that contributing but I honestly don't think that can be completely blamed because parents aren't the only influence on their children, they get to an age when peer opinions become more valid to them and a parent can help with that, I agree if they see the 'wrongs' but they don't always know straight away though...I know of perfectly good parents who don't allow their children to watch any 'trash' TV/read magazines etc...and their children are still exposed to things in a playground/friendship situation...it's really hard for a parent to see everything all the time...and hard for them they are often 'judged' for not doing so...
I agree 100%, we cant lay blame at every parent but some don't help!, but they themselves are just part of the image fed machine.
image is worth so much money ,with fashion make up diets and products that claim to make you look better, that I cant see any major change in the way young girls get influenced in the future.
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 08:44 AM
I think it's about parents teaching their children critical thinking. Children who are taught to think critically, and to realize that what they see in media is for marketing purposes, they understand that what they see is the ideal, not reality. in the same way when they are learning science and math, they don't have to be as smart as stephen hawking to be a scientist or mathematician.
It's not society's job to cater to children. It is the parent's job. I am an adult, and i shouldn't have to be thinking about what YOUR child might see when i post on the internet. That's YOUR job as a parent. not mine.
don't get all defensive!, no one has said its your job to worry about what other peoples children see on the internet, but on the other hand you should be thinking who else might see my post's and what affect it may have on them, that's your duty as an adult.
My parents didn't let me watch The Simpsons. I watched it every time i went over to my friends house. he taped it for me. You know what though? it made me think about why did they didn't let me watch it. It forced me to think about it. So even if they still see it, at least they have to think about it.
...yeah, but the thing with that is that your parents had reasons for feeling it was wrong to expose you of something/..and you did it anyway, without their knowledge and I'm sure they were great and conscientious parents..and the influence on every child of certain 'exposures' will be different..I'm not talking about The Simpsons, but this trend in the article and what those young girls are exposing themselves to....
I agree 100%, we cant lay blame at every parent but some don't help!, but they themselves are just part of the image fed machine.
image is worth so much money ,with fashion make up diets and products that claim to make you look better, that I cant see any major change in the way young girls get influenced in the future.
...I do think though that focus has always been on 'image', from as far back as I remember, it's just that we have the internet now....
lostalex
10-11-2013, 08:58 AM
i think, to stay on topic, it is the parents job to tell their kids that their appearance is not important, because you can't change it.
Why do young girls feel that their appearance is so important? It's not TV or the Internet's job to teach young girls what is important. If a young girl is so concerned with her appearance, that is because of poor parenting.
If i had a daughter she wouldn't be worried about what she looked like when she is 10 years old, she'd be too busy with many other things.
lostalex
10-11-2013, 08:58 AM
when i hear about parents that buy their daughter boob jobs or nose jobs for their sweet 16 present, it pisses me off. that is bad parenting.
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 08:59 AM
...yeah, but the thing with that is that your parents had reasons for feeling it was wrong to expose you of something/..and you did it anyway, without their knowledge and I'm sure they were great and conscientious parents..and the influence on every child of certain 'exposures' will be different..I'm not talking about The Simpsons, but this trend in the article and what those young girls are exposing themselves to....
...I do think though that focus has always been on 'image', from as far back as I remember, it's just that we have the internet now....
I must point to the lady on your page, she had an image that women wanted to emulate.
lostalex
10-11-2013, 09:00 AM
I must point to the lady on your page, she had an image that women wanted to emulate.
she was quite thin and glamorous wasn't she? :hugesmile:
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 09:06 AM
i think, to stay on topic, it is the parents job to tell their kids that their appearance is not important, because you can't change it.
Why do young girls feel that their appearance is so important? It's not TV or the Internet's job to teach young girls what is important. If a young girl is so concerned with her appearance, that is because of poor parenting.
If i had a daughter she wouldn't be worried about what she looked like when she is 10 years old, she'd be too busy with many other things.
that's just it!
tv and internet are filling young girls head's with its all about image, they are not giving a balanced point of view.
your parents did not want you to watch the simpsons because they thought it was a bad influence, but you still watched it!
you don't know what your daughter would be worried about, because like you she may get the information from someone else.
i think, to stay on topic, it is the parents job to tell their kids that their appearance is not important, because you can't change it.
Why do young girls feel that their appearance is so important? It's not TV or the Internet's job to teach young girls what is important. If a young girl is so concerned with her appearance, that is because of poor parenting.
If i had a daughter she wouldn't be worried about what she looked like when she is 10 years old, she'd be too busy with many other things.
..I'm not dismissing parent responsibilities at all, of course it's a huge part but it's also something that can't be 'controlled', unlike say, school responsibility, which is monitored/Ofsted in terms of behaviour policies etc if a school is particularly bad at some area...with parents, they all raise their children to their own specifics and some are very uninterested/involved with their children's lives..on the whole, I think that's the minority though...but by often blaming the parents..(I don't mean you and only this particular thing..)..it just kind of detracts from 'blames' that maybe could be controlled or tried to be...like large internet sites like Youtube etc and what they allow...and I'm not saying that's easy either or even possible but for me, it's something that should be looked at more closely by governments.....
I must point to the lady on your page, she had an image that women wanted to emulate.
..you mean Audrey Hepburn..?...yeah, that's what I mean, 'image' is not a new thing at all/it's just the internet that is new...
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 09:12 AM
..I'm not dismissing parent responsibilities at all, of course it's a huge part but it's also something that can't be 'controlled', unlike say, school responsibility, which is monitored/Ofsted in terms of behaviour policies etc if a school is particularly bad at some area...with parents, they all raise their children to their own specifics and some are very uninterested/involved with their children's lives..on the whole, I think that's the minority though...but by often blaming the parents..(I don't mean you and only this particular thing..)..it just kind of detracts from 'blames' that maybe could be controlled or tried to be...like large internet sites like Youtube etc and what they allow...and I'm not saying that's easy either or even possible but for me, it's something that should be looked at more closely by governments.....
..you mean Audrey Hepburn..?...yeah, that's what I mean, 'image' is not a new thing at all/it's just the internet that is new...
I don't think anyone on this forum does not know who she is, after all we have the thread that just wont die:joker:
I don't think anyone on this forum does not know who she is, after all we have the thread that just wont die:joker:
..yeah, I love this forum..great threads..:lovedup:....
lostalex
10-11-2013, 09:18 AM
But the point is, when my parents didn't let me watch the Simpsons, they explained it to me, they told me it's because it's about a boy who is misbehaved and who doesn't do well in school, and doesn't respect his teachers. so when i did actually watch the simpsons at my friends house, i saw exactly what they meant, and they were right, i should;'t want to be like Bart Simpson.
So even though i watched it at my friends house, at least my parents talked about it with me before hand, and i knew that bart simpson was a bad role model, and i shouldn't want to be like bart simpson. I was able to think about it, and realize that Bart is not a cool kid that i should emulate, he's just a comedy character on TV.
this is in the early 90's i must say, i realize that now there is much more pressures on kids, but i'm just using an example from my childhood.
lostalex
10-11-2013, 09:23 AM
I don't think anyone on this forum does not know who she is, after all we have the thread that just wont die:joker:
lol of course. this forum is 90% gay men and str8 women. so of course we all know Audrey. :hugesmile:
Ithinkiloveyoutoo
10-11-2013, 09:23 AM
Not too surprised Ammi as many people have been looking for validation online with sites such as hot or not and also when girls posts selfies on facebook, instagram their mood that day can be based on how many likes they obtain from that picture.
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 09:23 AM
But the point is, when my parents didn't let me watch the Simpsons, they explained it to me, they told me it's because it's about a boy who is misbehaved and who doesn't do well in school, and doesn't respect his teachers. so when i did actually watch the simpsons at my friends house, i saw exactly what they meant, and they were right, i should;'t want to be like Bart Simpson.
So even though i watched it at my friends house, at least my parents talked about it with me before hand, and i knew that bart simpson was a bad role model, and i shouldn't want to be like bart simpson. I was able to think about it, and realize that Bart is not a cool kid that i should emulate, he's just a comedy character on TV.
I don't think bart simpson as got anything on you!
lets just say, its just another part of the messed up world we live in.
thesheriff443
10-11-2013, 09:26 AM
lol of course. this forum is 90% gay men and str8 women. so of course we all know Audrey. :hugesmile:
I think I make up the whole 10% of the straight men on the forum:joker:
user104658
10-11-2013, 09:27 AM
But the point is, when my parents didn't let me watch the Simpsons, they explained it to me, they told me it's because it's about a boy who is misbehaved and who doesn't do well in school, and doesn't respect his teachers. so when i did actually watch the simpsons at my friends house, i saw exactly what they meant, and they were right, i should;'t want to be like Bart Simpson.
So even though i watched it at my friends house, at least my parents talked about it with me before hand, and i knew that bart simpson was a bad role model, and i shouldn't want to be like bart simpson. I was able to think about it, and realize that Bart is not a cool kid that i should emulate, he's just a comedy character on TV.
I get what you're saying here but it's exactly why I think its important to NOT outright ban watching anything, but instead, to be a present and active influence providing context and commentary and discussing these things as they arise. The thing is, a lot if parents don't say WHY they're saying no. It's just "no". And then when their kids inevitably encounter these things anyway, away from their parents, it's without that valuable opportunity to discuss it and learn.
I had this debate with someone recently, who was adamant that advertising should be kept away from children at all costs. I argued that, if you do that, they will be naive and unaware when they encounter advertising as an adult. Its important that they DO see advertising, and that their first experiences of it involve discussion, because the only way to be immune to advertising (and any other subliminal messaging, such as the vanity issue of this thread) is to be completely aware of it and have the ability to view it critically.
Nedusa
10-11-2013, 09:45 AM
I think girls should be confident for other reasons, not how good-looking or how ugly they are.
The problem is not girls being ugly, the problem is that girls think that being attractive is the only way to be self-confident. So you see a lot of ugly girls marching around trying to be pretty, but they aren't pretty they are ugly, they need to realize that.
Girls should have self worth even if they are ugly. They should be proud of being smart, or talented, or for the good work they do. Being good looking doesn't make you a good person.
The problem is not with people telling ugly girls that they are ugly, the problem is that girls think that how they look has anything to do with their own worth as a person. You can be a great person without being "sexy". You can be an amazing person even though you are physically unattractive.
But marching around needing a confidence boost from other people, being hypersensitive, needing constant reassurance from other people that you are good looking, that just makes you look like a twat.
Here's a shocking statement, how you look IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!
Difficult for most 14 year old girls to not worry about how they look. They are bombarded from every corner with advice how to look good how to have perfect skin and hair, how to attain that perfect body etc..
Since they going through puberty sexual attractiveness is probably the highest thing on the agenda for them and all their friends.
Inner confidence and a developed personality will arrive later but at this age unfortunately it's all about the looks. Everything is traded on looks as the prettiest girls do get the first pick on just about everything.
It shouldn't be like this and although to a large part it is human nature, things are not helped by the modern consumerist, voyeuristic society we now live in.
It's not just about girls anymore, men can be just as pre-occupied with their appearance.
Like I've said on here I suffer from a mental illness called Body Dysmorphic Disorder where I can't even leave the house most of the time because I'm so obsessed over my appearance. This mental illness is split right down the middle between genders.
Ithinkiloveyoutoo
10-11-2013, 10:08 AM
It's not just about girls anymore, men can be just as pre-occupied with their appearance.
Like I've said on here I suffer from a mental illness called Body Dysmorphic Disorder where I can't even leave the house most of the time because I'm so obsessed over my appearance. This mental illness is split right down the middle between genders.
yup just the other day there was an article about the rise in manorexia.
lostalex
10-11-2013, 10:11 AM
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It's not just about girls anymore, men can be just as pre-occupied with their appearance.
Like I've said on here I suffer from a mental illness called Body Dysmorphic Disorder where I can't even leave the house most of the time because I'm so obsessed over my appearance. This mental illness is split right down the middle between genders.
..for sure, this 'trend' is specific to females atm according to the article but I would be surprised if it didn't become male/female very soon, if not already...
Quite a harrowing song and video Alex it's actually got me welling up a bit.
..for sure, this 'trend' is specific to females atm according to the article but I would be surprised if it didn't become male/female very soon, if not already...
This video trend you have selected for debate (good debate btw) doesn't surprise me that it is generally female specific. Men for the most part still tend to suffer appearance concerns in silence due to fear of ridicule or being called weak.
Also worth noting that these girls are making a big mistake doing things like this. The internet is a great hiding place for mean spirited individuals who would quite happily say something to ruin one of these poor young girls life. And you know that they say, it takes 10 compliments to negate an insult.
This video trend you have selected for debate (good debate btw) doesn't surprise me that it is generally female specific. Men for the most part still tend to suffer appearance concerns in silence due to fear of ridicule or being called weak.
Also worth noting that these girls are making a big mistake doing things like this. The internet is a great hiding place for mean spirited individuals who would quite happily say something to ruin one of these poor young girls life. And you know that they say, it takes 10 compliments to negate an insult.
..yeah, actually, obviously they are females but 'girls' as the age range quoted was 9-14yrs, so not adults as all..so I guess it would be 'boys' rather than 'men' it would apply to, which I'm sure it will soon, if not already..the article is quite recent but the 'trend' may not be...
lostalex
10-11-2013, 10:27 AM
Quite a harrowing song and video Alex it's actually got me welling up a bit.
What you were saying made me think of that song right away, one of my favorite songs. I thought you could relate to it. Sorry if it made you sad. :(
What you were saying made me think of that song right away, sorry if it made you sad. :(
It's ok Alex, I meant it in a good way like I understand him completely. I've looked up the singer from that band and it looks like he had depression issues too. He sounds like he's body dysmorphic, talking about he can never see himself how others see him.
..yeah, actually, obviously they are females but 'girls' as the age range quoted was 9-14yrs, so not adults as all..so I guess it would be 'boys' rather than 'men' it would apply to, which I'm sure it will soon, if not already..the article is quite recent but the 'trend' may not be...
I've seen it happen on Facebook but at least it's a 'little' safer on there as the people seeing these things are generally their friends so they wouldn't actively choose to hurt them.
Adolescence is a major trigger for setting off point for appearance concerns I just hope some sadistic fu*cker doesn't set these poor young girls off on a perpetual spin of self destruction. I don't condone what these girls are doing, it's not good and maybe some are looking for attention but I can imagine some of them are just desperately seeking reassurance.
lostalex
10-11-2013, 10:35 AM
hey, here's the other side of it. (sorry they took all of them off of youtube so i only have a vimeo link)
dedicated to you :)
http://vimeo.com/5254017
hey, here's the other side of it. (sorry they took all of them off of youtube so i only have a vimeo link)
dedicated to you :)
http://vimeo.com/5254017
Lol thanks Alex :blush:
Me. I Am Salman
10-11-2013, 10:42 AM
I don't understand why it's disturbing.
The truth is most people think they are better looking than they actually are. It's probably a good thing for people to hear the truth about themselves so they can have more realistic expectations.
when ever you see a fat girl in tight clothes, they really think that they look good. self-delusion is very powerful.
most people when they look in the mirror focus on one part of themselves that they like. Most people will say things to themselves like "i have really nice eyes" or "i have really nice breasts" and completely block out the bigger picture. Most unattractive people really don't know that they are unattractive.
You see it all the time, hideous repulsive men walking around like they are god's gift to women, or fat sloppy women marching around in tight clothes like they are models.
people are very delusional about how other people see them.
what is this BS you're on about now. that isn't true at all, most people are far too harsh on themselves. loads of these people who upload videos to youtube aren't ugly at all
Natalie.
10-11-2013, 10:42 AM
I feel sad for these girls, there's some people out there just waiting to write disgusting, hateful comments about anyone they can on youtube and other sites. As a teenage girl you just want to know you're pretty and want attention from boys, well that's what I wanted sometimes. I don't understand how you can be mean about someones looks especially a child, but that's trolls for you I guess
It's everywhere to be looking your best for young girls and boys, it's hard
what is this BS you're on about now. that isn't true at all, most people are far too harsh on themselves. loads of these people who upload videos to youtube aren't ugly at all
I agree with you Salman although Alex lives in the States so his perception could be different on a cultural basis.
Here in the U.K it's pretty much in our nature to be desolate about ourselves. I can count on one hand the people I have known who actually believe they are better looking than they are but those who Dont are just innumerable. Personally I believe people are very very harsh on their own appearance. I've never been to America so I can't speak for over there.
I get what you're saying here but it's exactly why I think its important to NOT outright ban watching anything, but instead, to be a present and active influence providing context and commentary and discussing these things as they arise. The thing is, a lot if parents don't say WHY they're saying no. It's just "no". And then when their kids inevitably encounter these things anyway, away from their parents, it's without that valuable opportunity to discuss it and learn.
I had this debate with someone recently, who was adamant that advertising should be kept away from children at all costs. I argued that, if you do that, they will be naive and unaware when they encounter advertising as an adult. Its important that they DO see advertising, and that their first experiences of it involve discussion, because the only way to be immune to advertising (and any other subliminal messaging, such as the vanity issue of this thread) is to be completely aware of it and have the ability to view it critically.
..I agree with you, I think in general 'taboo' isn't a good thing..it's not something I've ever done anyway...it's more explaining, that if they do this, whatever it is...these are the dangers/consequences etc and that, that would make them very unhappy as well as making you as a parent unhappy etc...and in the case of watching something which may have an 'anti hero', if it's your decision to let them watch it, then watch it with them and explain things if you have to so they 'get it'...most young people do get it anyway, with TV programmes, I mean...
smeagol
10-11-2013, 11:13 AM
sounds pointless to me. people look different in videos and pics than real life anyway.
id rather a girl not know shes pretty or think shes not than a girl who knows it they are the worst kind.
funny if you ask people on the net am i ugly always someone would say yes lol bad idear really as people remember insults more than compliments.
its sad girls dont value there attractive qualities. its rare for someone to be truely ugly, yet most dont think they are much. which is sad.
lostalex
10-11-2013, 11:22 AM
what is this BS you're on about now. that isn't true at all, most people are far too harsh on themselves. loads of these people who upload videos to youtube aren't ugly at all
sorry but i disagree. If they are uploading videos of themselves asking for feedback on how they look it's clearly because they expect to hear good things, they think they look good, and they want compliments. then they get butt hurt when people tell them the truth. They are delusional people that really think people are going to fawn all over them.
If you really thought you were ugly, you wouldn't post a video of your ugly ass self asking for people to tell you how ugly you are. CLEARLY most of these girls expect to be told how pretty they are. They are delusional.
Kizzy
10-11-2013, 11:26 AM
Teens are teens and it's normal for them to want to take the opinion of some stranger over their parent, I could tell my daughter she was beautiful till I was blue in the face and it didn't matter as I was bias.
I'm surprised at this trend though as most I would have thought that teens would die of embarrassment, being on camera asking something like this.
Athough the confidence is there to do it do they have the maturity to deal with the negative comments? Most likely not.
One thing this does show is the different responses to different images, which gives an insight into how girls are inflluenced into looking a certain way.
I dislike terms like milf or yummy mummy, if a woman looks attractive, dresses well and happens to have school age children why must she have this silly rather sexist label?
It would be wonderful to be able to be the only ones to influence your children, to restrict their associations and have them grow up totally confident and self assured, however due to youth culture/peer pressure/media/advertising this is made almost impossible.
sorry but i disagree. If they are uploading videos of themselves asking for feedback on how they look it's clearly because they expect to hear good things, they think they look good, and they want compliments. then they get butt hurt when people tell them the truth. They are delusional people that really think people are going to fawn all over them.
If you really thought you were ugly, you wouldn't post a video of your ugly ass self asking for people to tell you how ugly you are. CLEARLY most of these girls expect to be told how pretty they are. They are delusional.
..Alex, some of them are 9yr old girls, they don't want people to 'fawn' over them..they have been told by peers that they're pretty or ugly and they're asking others' opinions but those of stranger on the internet, which is rife with trolls...some of those girls and quite a lot, I think..do believe that they're ugly or at least that's what they have been 'told' by friends'peers....
..Alex, some of them are 9yr old girls, they don't want people to 'fawn' over them..they have been told by peers that they're pretty or ugly and they're asking others' opinions but those of stranger on the internet, which is rife with trolls...some of those girls and quite a lot, I think..do believe that they're ugly or at least that's what they have been 'told' by friends'peers....
And all it takes is one cretin to go "wow Pinocchio what a big nose you have" or "are you trying to contact aliens with those radar dish ears Lolz #fugly" and that can be a girls self esteem dented for most of her life.
At that age reaching adolescence these girls have ego's and a self esteem that is extremely malleable and some muppet who wants to make his life seem worthwhile can ruin that grossly.
Natalie.
10-11-2013, 11:39 AM
And all it takes is one cretin to go "wow Pinocchio what a big nose you have" or "are you trying to contact aliens with those radar dish ears Lolz #fugly" and that can be a girls self esteem dented for most of her life.
At that age reaching adolescence these girls have ego's and a self esteem that is extremely malleable and some muppet who wants to make his life seem worthwhile can ruin that grossly.
Yep it's true, one comment will stick with you for a long long time.
Yep it's true, one comment will stick with you for a long long time.
Exactly. If I asked people to give me examples of people making comment on their appearance I think most would almost recite the negative ones instantly and clearly while the positive ones would be harder to recollect or even forgotten completely.
Kizzy
10-11-2013, 11:48 AM
And all it takes is one cretin to go "wow Pinocchio what a big nose you have" or "are you trying to contact aliens with those radar dish ears Lolz #fugly" and that can be a girls self esteem dented for most of her life.
At that age reaching adolescence these girls have ego's and a self esteem that is extremely malleable and some muppet who wants to make his life seem worthwhile can ruin that grossly.
Totally agree, what starts out as maybe a girl looking for some kind of reassurance or positive reinforcement is in for a shock.
If it's an area they were already sensitive about it could stay with them for years subconsciously.
Natalie.
10-11-2013, 11:52 AM
Exactly. If I asked people to give me examples of people making comment on their appearance I think most would almost recite the negative ones instantly and clearly while the positive ones would be harder to recollect or even forgotten completely.
Yeah, it's easy to remember the bad things because they sometimes already think bad of themselves anyway.
lostalex
10-11-2013, 11:53 AM
once again, it's all parents. why does a 9 y/o have a webcam and a youtube account? I don't think 9 y/o's are even allowed to have youtube accounts according to youtube's own rules.
Yeah, it's easy to remember the bad things because they sometimes already think bad of themselves anyway.
Yeh true that. I think there's some psychology behind it too, my therapist said that humans remember things that are negative more as a self defence to protect them from getting in that situation again and hurting themselves. Now if a person is very concerned about their appearance then that negative situation that is created from a comment can have the same effect. The brain sees it as damaging and remembers it because it thinks it might need it in the future. Something like that anyway I might have said It wrong lol :hugesmile:
x-evenstar-x
10-11-2013, 12:10 PM
I think these kids want reassurance, they want people to tell them they are beautiful and all the rest of it. I believe I'm very unattractive and I would never dream of doing that I couldn't even post a picture of myself, so I get what people mean about If they truly thought that about them selves why would they do it, I don't think it's about letting the world know they think they are ugly or what ever but that they want someone to tell them they are pretty. I've not actually watched the videos, I'm going to watch it now but that's what I'm guessing.
Natalie.
10-11-2013, 12:14 PM
Yeh true that. I think there's some psychology behind it too, my therapist said that humans remember things that are negative more as a self defence to protect them from getting in that situation again and hurting themselves. Now if a person is very concerned about their appearance then that negative situation that is created from a comment can have the same effect. The brain sees it as damaging and remembers it because it thinks it might need it in the future. Something like that anyway I might have said It wrong lol :hugesmile:
You're right I think, it does make sense. Amazing really
Niall
10-11-2013, 12:19 PM
Kind of depressing to see girls devalue themselves down to their looks and societal perception of their looks. Just goes to show that a hell of a lot still needs to be done in terms of gender equality, really.
Yeh true that. I think there's some psychology behind it too, my therapist said that humans remember things that are negative more as a self defence to protect them from getting in that situation again and hurting themselves. Now if a person is very concerned about their appearance then that negative situation that is created from a comment can have the same effect. The brain sees it as damaging and remembers it because it thinks it might need it in the future. Something like that anyway I might have said It wrong lol :hugesmile:
...yeah, our conscious minds don't remember everything and especially things that happened in childhood, but obviously some people have just generally better memories for specifics than others...but our sub-conscious mind has a 'photographic memory'...but it's hard for the two to communicate with each other, and for lots of people, very rarely do...but what we do 'remember' is emotions/feelings..and feelings of pain etc are far stronger than 'happy' emotions, so for instance, and I mean in an extreme case...say a 9yr old was told they were ugly and then had particularly harsh things said to them by internet trolls..?...they may not be of an age where they fully understand exactly the terminology of those things and how cruel they are but they would understand that they were extremely negative and confirming their fears of being 'ugly'...so for maybe all of their life or a large part of it, what they themselves could see in the mirror is an 'ugly person'...and they could be the most 'beautiful' person in the world but they would only see 'ugly'...if that makes sense lol...it doesn't happen automatically with everyone though, because obviously we're all different in our thought processes....
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