My Great Uncle died this week

[Conzors]

And i thought i would be okay but i've really felt something different. I've felt sad, and just havent performed well at work - my flats a mess and it's just been a bit weird!

I wasn't close with him, but i knew him all my life and it just came as a shock!
My 21st Party is on the 7th June, and his funeral is on the 9th so the day after my party we have to travel up there and STAY IN THE HOUSE THAT HE DIED IN, and thats just freaked me out.

I just dont know how to re-act or how to snap out of this.

Am i subconsciously using this as an excuse for attention?
Am i actually sad and just acting like this?
Am i just shocked and my body cant take it?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

Has anything ever happened to you and you acted in a totally different way that you'd imagine?
xxx

[Shaun]

Unexpected deaths are the worst, really. Not to say that deaths you can see coming are completely harmless, but it's difficult to know how to react. I don't think there's a right or a wrong way to react, it's just how you react... nobody can judge you for it :)

When I found out that my dad had died overnight after being admitted into hospital for some, as far as I knew, chest infection or whatever, it completely shook me and I still haven't processed it to this day. Even all of your relationship issues (if there are any) just don't really matter, it's just a suckerpunch really.

I hope you & your family get through this together and are OK, just make sure you can keep in touch and offer each other support is all I can advise.

[LaLaLand]

Sorry for your loss Conzors, any loss be it someone close or someone distant is always tough to come to terms with. Stay strong.

[Kizzy]

You deal with it however you feel conzors :( :hug:

[Kazanne]

Sorry to hear that Conzors ,your uncle obviously had some kind of impact on you,hence your feeling of sadness,just cry if you have to,never mind the mess,that will clean up afterwards,one you have been to the funeral,you will start to heal and it will get easier,I am sorry,but it's the price we pay for living,if you need to chat we are here.xoxox

[Conzors]

Sorry to hear that Conzors ,your uncle obviously had some kind of impact on you,hence your feeling of sadness,just cry if you have to,never mind the mess,that will clean up afterwards,one you have been to the funeral,you will start to heal and it will get easier,I am sorry,but it's the price we pay for living,if you need to chat we are here.xoxox

Thanks! I think its because at family events he was always there, he always used to ring my mum and he's just always been a constant name in my house, although we didnt see much of him, we all knew him all of our lives, and now hes just got gonna be there anymore.

You deal with it however you feel conzors :( :hug:

Sorry for your loss Conzors, any loss be it someone close or someone distant is always tough to come to terms with. Stay strong.

love you all

Unexpected deaths are the worst, really. Not to say that deaths you can see coming are completely harmless, but it's difficult to know how to react. I don't think there's a right or a wrong way to react, it's just how you react... nobody can judge you for it :)

When I found out that my dad had died overnight after being admitted into hospital for some, as far as I knew, chest infection or whatever, it completely shook me and I still haven't processed it to this day. Even all of your relationship issues (if there are any) just don't really matter, it's just a suckerpunch really.

I hope you & your family get through this together and are OK, just make sure you can keep in touch and offer each other support is all I can advise.

awe your dad shaun :( we will shaun thanks
xxxxxx

[daniel-lewis-1985]

The worst thing you can do is worry about how to behave or how people may expect you to be.

Every funeral ive been to ive just cried and not given a **** even if I wasn't that close to the person its still sad and you cant help what you feel.

Im sure there are other people going to the funeral who feel the same as you btw.

[joeysteele]

Really sad reading as to your Dad Shaun and your Great Uncle Conzors.
Thinking of you and don't worry as to how you feel or how to act Conzors,the loss of someone who has always been there, even if you regularly saw them or not,still hits home hard once they are gone.
There are no rules as to how to act or feel, anyone dealing with loss and grief can only do so in their own way.

[Ammi]

..I'm so sorry Connor..:hug:..there really is no right or wrong way to deal with grief, it's one of the most personal things and we all do it differently...id you can, try not to 'think' it, try not to analyse it or how you are feeling right now..just take it one step and one day at a time and just go with your emotions and how you are feeling in that moment, don't worry about how you should be feeling or are feeling and let your emotions guide you...your work colleagues will understand if you're not at your best and there is nothing in your flat that you won't get round to when you're ready to...


..I had an uncle who died a few years ago and he was always there at family occasions and although we knew he was poorly, we thought he had much more time and it all happened so quickly..anyway, it shook my world so much more than I would have imagined..just give it time and just do with it...:hug:...

[Crimson Dynamo]

dealing with death is part of life so suck it up and keep buggering on

a funeral is also a celebration of life so its not all heads down and mumbling.

[arista]

I bet your Great Uncle
had a great view on life.

Think of the goods thing,

Sorry for your loss Conzors

[Jack.]

Sorry for your loss Conzors

[Cherie]

I bet your Great Uncle
had a great view on life.

Think of the goods thing,

Sorry for your loss Conzors


Arista is most wise.

He must have been a good age Conzors. Grief affects people differently so just go with the flow, you will probably feel a bit better after the funeral, its almost as if life is on hold, in the "inbetween" bit and it is difficult to concentrate.

[Conzors]

His funeral was on Monday, it felt weird going from a really happy place (celebrating my 21st) on the Friday then on the Sunday evening travelling to Peterborough for his funeral. We stayed in his house and just sitting on the bench where he died just seemed wrong. I didn't feel too sad that evening nor on the morning of his funeral. The church service was really nice but even then the emotion didn't go over me. Making our way to the crematorium my dad and I were making jokes and it just seemed like any other day. In the crematorium it all changed. As the curtains shut I looked over at my aunt who has some tears down her face I looked over at my cousin she was balling her eyes out, then next to her - my mum has never looked so devastated. My heart sank as she and my sister hugged balling their eyes out. I didn't want to cry, so I held back the tears and didn't show any emotion, but something within that 2 minutes really effected me. The car journey home was okay, I didn't think about it and slept through it. When I got home, to my little studio flat with all my birthday gifts and clothes from the really busy weekend. I sat down and looked through the scrapbook that my sister made me which had all pictures from the 21 years I've been living. My eyes started to rain, all this emotion that I piled up just came out - I think it was a mixture of going from bring surrounded by so many so my friends and family all weekend to suddenly being alone just bought everything to life. I missed my great uncle, even though we didn't really have a connection or bond much he was still a part not my life that kept all our extended family together and conjoined, and for that I will miss him. Even now I feel lonely and just so sad. I'm sure ill get over it but this funeral affected me in a way no others did and I can't place my finger on it.

Sorry for the long essay, I could never mention this to anyone in person without sounding like a weirdo.

[Jack.]

His funeral was on Monday, it felt weird going from a really happy place (celebrating my 21st) on the Friday then on the Sunday evening travelling to Peterborough for his funeral. We stayed in his house and just sitting on the bench where he died just seemed wrong. I didn't feel too sad that evening nor on the morning of his funeral. The church service was really nice but even then the emotion didn't go over me. Making our way to the crematorium my dad and I were making jokes and it just seemed like any other day. In the crematorium it all changed. As the curtains shut I looked over at my aunt who has some tears down her face I looked over at my cousin she was balling her eyes out, then next to her - my mum has never looked so devastated. My heart sank as she and my sister hugged balling their eyes out. I didn't want to cry, so I held back the tears and didn't show any emotion, but something within that 2 minutes really effected me. The car journey home was okay, I didn't think about it and slept through it. When I got home, to my little studio flat with all my birthday gifts and clothes from the really busy weekend. I sat down and looked through the scrapbook that my sister made me which had all pictures from the 21 years I've been living. My eyes started to rain, all this emotion that I piled up just came out - I think it was a mixture of going from bring surrounded by so many so my friends and family all weekend to suddenly being alone just bought everything to life. I missed my great uncle, even though we didn't really have a connection or bond much he was still a part not my life that kept all our extended family together and conjoined, and for that I will miss him. Even now I feel lonely and just so sad. I'm sure ill get over it but this funeral affected me in a way no others did and I can't place my finger on it.

Sorry for the long essay, I could never mention this to anyone in person without sounding like a weirdo.

Hope your ok Conzors :hug:

[Conzors]

thanjs Jack xxxxx