The Best Jokes EVER

[LittleMissC]

Hehe if anyone knows a good joke post it here! :laugh:

Here's one I made up this morning...

The boxer enters the arena carring a plate, a knife and a fork. His opponent asks, 'What's that for? We're supposed to be fighting.'
The boxer replies, 'Cos I'm gunna have you for dinner.'

Lmao. Seriously:)

[Lil-Lindz]

Lol!
Ill try and remember some soon

[Siouxsie]

what did the mommy beesay to the baby?
i give up

beehiveyoureself

[LittleMissC]

Lmao that's a good one! :laugh:

[Siouxsie]

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:where did the newly wed rabbits go?


on bunnymoon hahahahaha

[stacey]

what do you get when your pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?


hot cross bunnies
[stupid i know but makes me smile every time :spin2:]

[Siouxsie]

the crap ones are the best

[LittleMissC]

THE best joke ever:

A penguin wearing a bow tie goes into a bar. At the bar the bowl of nuts say, 'What a nice bow tie!'
'Why thank you,' Says the penguin.
The penguin goes into the toilet. In the toilet the condom machine says, 'Hehe look at your bow tie how stupid.'
The penguin complains to the barman, 'The condom machine insulted my bow tie.'
'Why I'm sorry,' Says the barman, 'The nuts are complimentery but the condom machine is out of order.'

:laugh:

[Siouxsie]

:joker::joker::joker:

[Ella]

:hugesmile:

[Lil-Lindz]

Lmao
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant

Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence

Lol ill find some more

[stoney12]

Heres a goodie;

A guy is drivin a minibus when he is flagged down by a lorry that has broken down.In the back of the lorry is a bunch of monkeys.
"oi mate I was on the way to the zoo with these monkeys when my lorry broke down.Could you do me a big favour and take them to the zoo for me??"
"ok"says the minibus driver and heads off.

The next day the lorry driver is getting his lorry repaired when the minibus passes with all the monkleys in the bacl wearing sunglasses.

"oi I thought you were takin them monkeys to the zoo for me"he shouts to the minibus driver.

"I did and we enjoyed it so much we are going to the beach today"Replied the minibus driver.

I love that..and its clean.

[Lil-Lindz]

Lmao
Ive got one my dad told me

How the jews got the ten commandments:

God went to the Arabs and said "I have some commandments for you that will make you lives better"
the arabs asked "what are commandments"
And the lord said "they are rules for living"
"can you give us an example?"
"thou shalt not kill"
"not kill, were not interested"

So god went to the blacks and said " I have some commandments" but they wanted an example
So the lord said "honour thy father and thy mother"
"father? We dont know what our fathers are, so why would we be interedted?"

So he went to the mexicans and they wanted an example and he went " Thou shalt not steal"
"not steal? Were not interested"

So he went to the frech and they also wanted an example so he said " thou shalt not commit adultery"
"not commit adultry, were not interested"

Finally he went to the jews and said "I have commandments"
"commandments?" they said "how much are they"
"they're free"
"well take then"

Lol

[SiMoN!]

Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.


Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.


Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant


Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.


Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"

[Lil-Lindz]

Ok I got some funny sighs for you
These are true I have not made them up!!

- On a septic tank in oregon
"yestadays meals on wheels"

- On a septic tank truck sign
" Were #1 in the #2 buisness"

- Sign over gynecologysts office
"Dr Jones at your cervix"

- On a plumbers truck
" We repair what your husband fixed"

- On a plumbers truck
" Dont sleep with a drip, call your plumber"

-Pizza shop slogan
" 7 days withour pizza makes one weak"

-At a tire shop in milawakee
"invite us to your next blowout"

- On a plastics srugeons office door
"hello can we pick your nose?"

-At a towing company
" we dont charge an arm and a leg we want tows"

- On an electritions truck
"let us remove your shorts"

Lmao this one is funny -
In a nonsmoking area
"if we see smoke we will assume you are on fire and take approapiate action"

-On a maternity room door
"push Push Push"

- Sign on a fence
"salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive"

- In a veterinarians wating room
" be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

- In a restaurant window
" Dont stand there and be Hungry, come on in and get fed up"

LOL :tongue:

[Lil-Lindz]

Originally posted by simon_ha
Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.


Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.


Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant


Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.


Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"

Lol

[SiMoN!]

Originally posted by Lil-Lindz
Originally posted by simon_ha
Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.


Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.


Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant


Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.


Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"

Lol
lol

all true

[Lil-Lindz]

He he I know some but They are really rude

What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
An airbag

[SiMoN!]

Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

[SiMoN!]

lol this is the best

Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

[Lil-Lindz]

Lol ive heard both of them
What does a blone and the bermuda triangle have in common
They have both swalloed alot of seamen lol

[SiMoN!]

lol

[Lil-Lindz]

Oh I have one from ages ago

3 animals are in a bar and the gorilla goes "im king of the jungle when I beat my chest I get what I want"
The lion goes "oh thats nothing when I roar every gets scared of me"
and then the chicken goes
"thats nothing, if i cough 30,000 people **** themselves

(thats from when bird flu was around in the media)