How would you feel in this scenario?

[Braden]

A real-life situation popped into my head last night, and I'm not sure what to make of it so I thought I'd ask for your opinions.

It's not something that has happened recently but more of a recurring scenario. I'm going to alter the story a little because it regards my two friends and their family, and I feel awkward bitching about them on here. :laugh:

So, my two friends are Eastern European and I get on with them very well. They were brought to England at a very early age and celebrate their nation's traditions nonetheless, they're very proud of who they are and stay true to their Eastern European roots, which is great. However, myself and a few of my friends feel a bit intimidated by the fact that whenever we're invited round to their house the family speak in their native language.

It's not a problem as such, but a few of us feel that it's rude of them to speak in a foreign language when they can speak English perfectly well. But on the other hand I feel that criticising them for speaking their own language in their own home is narrow-minded and pretty ignorant.

Do you think what they're doing is rude?

[rubymoo]

I do think it's rude, but you're in their house so what can you do?

Seeing as you're all such good mates it's probably best to not read anything into it.

The family probably just revert to their native language as to them it's second nature, and they probably have no idea how intimidated you feel.

Europeans are different in the way that what we deem as rude they don't......the stiff upper lip and all that:laugh:

[MTVN]

Nah I don't think it's rude, very common for families to use their native language when they are just communicating with each other and in their own home

[Liam-]

No it's not rude, it's their house so they can speak in their language if they want to.

[Kazanne]

I think it's rude,yes,they are in their own home ,but have invited you there so surely it would be common courtesy to speak so you could understand the conversation,afterall they could be slating you to hell.:hehe:

[Jamesy]

If they can both speak fluent English then yes, it's rude.

[Niamh.]

I don't know really :think:

[Liam-]

If you know that they and their family are traditional and stick to their roots and accept that, then i don't see how them speaking their own language rude, accept that you're in their house and they're free to do and speak whatever they want, i fail to see how that's rude :laugh:

[Creggle]

I think it's rude,yes,they are in their own home ,but have invited you there so surely it would be common courtesy to speak so you could understand the conversation,afterall they could be slating you to hell.:hehe:

This pretty much, no other way about it.

[King Gizzard]

Think it's just easier for them isn't it

[Sophiee]

it's technically not rude since it's their native language and their own home but I'd probably feel that way being in that position because you're probably paranoid they're bitching about you :laugh:.

[Crimson Dynamo]

coming over here stealing our jobs and eating our women

its a disgrace

:rant:

[Black Dagger]

Oh I read it all wrong. I read it as if you asking them to speak English in their own home is rude and that is why I said yes </3

[Marsh.]

eating our women

D:

[Marsh.]

It reminds me of when we went into a pub in Wales and a group of locals heard that we were English and deliberately started talking in Welsh. :fist: Ignorant bastards.

[rubymoo]

It reminds me of when we went into a pub in Wales and a group of locals heard that we were English and deliberately started talking in Welsh. :fist: Ignorant bastards.

:laugh:

[kirklancaster]

I think it's rude,yes,they are in their own home ,but have invited you there so surely it would be common courtesy to speak so you could understand the conversation,afterall they could be slating you to hell.:hehe:

I agree. Of course it's rude and downright ignorant. There is no justification for talking in their own language when you don't understand it and they are fluent in English. Not only are they excluding you as a guest and isolating you, but the fact that they are doing so cannot mean anything else but that they are not being complimentary about you, or are talking about something which may offend you. If they have a need to discuss highly personal matters then surely it could wait until they're alone, or perhaps they should get out of the habit of having English guests.

Are you quite certain they are 'genuine' friends?

(Thinking about it, I think I'm going to learn Swahili in case I ever meet LT personally - then I can swear at him to my heart's content):hehe::grin2::grin2:

[Liam-]

It reminds me of when we went into a pub in Wales and a group of locals heard that we were English and deliberately started talking in Welsh. :fist: Ignorant bastards.

Stay out of our pubs then :fan:

[Niamh.]

Stay out of our pubs then :fan:

calm down Peggy

[Liam-]

calm down Peggy

Does that make Morsh Pat in this scenario? :hehe:

[Marsh.]

Stay out of our pubs then :fan:

Cusanu fy ass. :mad:

[Liam-]

Cusanu fy ass. :mad:

No, i don't know where it's been :worry:

[Marsh.]

:laugh:

[Jessica.]

No, it's not rude at all, they've spoken to each other in that language for their whole lives, they can probably express themselves better to each other. If I lived in a foreign country and had kids who brought a friend over, I would still talk to my kid/husband in English for general conversations, for sure. :shrug:

[MTVN]

They're only gonna be talking about mundane family issues I'm sure anyway lol, I wouldn't feel particularly excluded by not knowing what they're on about

[Josy]

They are clearly talking about you behind your back, saying rude things..


Nah :laugh: I know it probably makes you feel a bit uncomfortable but that's the way they communicate with each other every day so no I don't find it to be rude tbh.

[Braden]

Thanks for your replies, guys.

It is a tricky situation but I know it's not that much of a big deal, and it doesn't have an effect on our relationship so I just have to get on with it and try not to be bothered by it.

[Marsh.]

Tell them to stop being so bloody racist! :fist:

[smudgie]

It is very rude and bad mannered.
Fair enough if they could not speak EngliSh, but as they can, then it is rude.

[Jarrod]

I don't find it rude as such. It's the same here, English is the main language but there's always a few that speak in Welsh and then turn back to English.

[Livia]

I think it would be a bit needy to expect the whole family, at a family get-together, not to speak their native tongue because they have a native English speaker as a guest. Of course they should include that person in some of the conversations in English, but I wouldn't expect them not to speak to each other in their own language in this situation.

[kirklancaster]

coming over here stealing our jobs and eating our women

its a disgrace

:rant:

:joker::joker::joker:

You're getting worse.

[Amy Jade]

I think it's rude tbh

[joeysteele]

More inconsiderate than being deliberately rude I would say.

When I was at Uni,there were a group of foreign students who always spoke in their language whenever a lot of us were at social occasions.
I just once said in a joking manner, oops no good coming over here, I cannot understand what's being said.
To which they responded with, they had never thought of that and they then spoke in English most of the time.

[Bluerang1]

No because it's their house but if it wasn't then yeah kinda. Still they have the right to speak whatever they want.

[Mystic Mock]

Of course it's rude, if you've been invited as a guest in their home then they should speak in your language because they could be saying something horrible about you and you wouldn't even know about it, plus it does make things awkward I would imagine.

[Marsh.]

You should pretend you understand what they're saying...

XY66ZJ0TFUI

[GypsyGoth]

Kiss the friends
Marry Braden
And avoid the family.

[LukeB]

yes because how do you know they aint talking about you :suspect:

[joeysteele]

Of course it's rude, if you've been invited as a guest in their home then they should speak in your language because they could be saying something horrible about you and you wouldn't even know about it, plus it does make things awkward I would imagine.

I have thought again as to this and yes it is different if you have been invited to their home.
So I would agree it is more rude in that situation,it is bound to make someone feel uncomfortable at the very least.