ISIS the Musical

[kirklancaster]

An excerpt from my musical parody - 'ISIS - THE MUSICAL' - for which, when I have finished writing it, there are plans for it to be actually produced and performed by a group of terrorist-hating 'Performing Arts' students (I'm directing) and hopefully, we can post a copy on You Tube.

For anyone interested, it is a parody loosely based on the film 'Chicago' - which I love - and it will seriously help anyone who isn't familiar with the film, to use the relevant links to see the real excerpts being parodied on YouTube. The Link for this excerpt - 'Frazzle Dazzle 'Em' -- 'Razzle Dazzle 'Em' is given below in case you want to watch it first.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YW3MIixEps4

Dedicated to LIVIA and NINASTAR – two women with balls of steel. An excerpt from:

'ISIS – THE MUSICAL'

INT. THE TIBB LOUNGE. DAY.

LIVIA’, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX and KIRK and JOEYSTEELE are chatting.

NINASTAR(Spoken)
Those ISIS bastards have beheaded another poor victim. I’m feckin sick of it.

LOSTALEX(Spoken)
We gotta get real with these murdering demons, they’re a cancer on humanity. .

LIVIA(Spoken)
We need to eradicate these ISIS bastards once and for all. Bomb them all to oblivion.

JOEYSTEELE (spoken) I agree. It doesn’t matter what it takes, we need to wipe them from the face of the Earth.

KIRK (Spoken)
You’re all absolutely right. This war- this whole murdering terrorist business – It’s easily solved. We’ve just got to stop playing and really mean business with them.

KIRK (Singing)
Give 'em the old frazzle dazzle
Frazzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em a bomb with lots of flash in it
take off the gloves and let’s be passionate
Give 'em the old plutonium
The only way is to be nuking ‘em.
How can they kill, when they’re vapourised?

What if, your demise is imminent?
Because being PC is fecking impotent??
Then, Frazzle dazzle 'em
Blow ‘em up to the skies.

Give 'em the old Frazzle Dazzle

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE (singing)
Frazzle dazzle 'em
Nuclear bombing is so splendiferous

KIRK
And the free world’s praise will be quite vociferous

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
Give 'em the old Enola Gay stuff
Let ‘em know we’ve had e-fecking-nough

KIRK
How can they kill when they ‘aint here no more?

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
ISIS propaganda is all just a finagle
to be swallowed with Sahlav and a warm bagel,

KIRK
Frazzle dazzle 'em
And they'll murder no more!

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
It gets ya nowhere just despising ‘em
Ya gotta get busy vapourising ‘em
Ever since the days of old Methuselah
Everyone loves the big bangbooz-a-ler

Don’t be arresting, charging and trying ‘em
The only way is nuclear frying ‘em
If ya wanna beat ‘em, then don’t give ‘em a chance

Mercy and Justice, they never heard a
Their only intention is to murder
So, frazzle dazzle 'em
It’s the sensible stance.

LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE(over KIRK)
Give 'em the old
Frazzle Dazzle

KIRK
Give 'em the old Frazzle Dazzle
Frazzle dazzle 'em
Give ‘em all that we’re worth.
It aint rash making ash of all of ‘em
If ya don’t the West will fall for them
So frazzle Dazzle 'em

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
Frazzle Dazzle 'em
Frazzle Dazzle 'em

Then we’ll have Peace On Earth.

[Mitchell]

Dedicated to LIVIA and NINASTAR – two women with balls of steel. An excerpt from:

'ISIS – THE MUSICAL' (With apologies to ‘Chicago’)

INT. THE TIBB LOUNGE. DAY.

LIVIA’, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX and KIRK and JOEYSTEELE are chatting.

NINASTAR(Spoken)
Those ISIS bastards have beheaded another poor victim. I’m feckin sick of it.

LOSTALEX(Spoken)
We gotta get real with these murdering demons, they’re a cancer on humanity. .

LIVIA(Spoken)
We need to eradicate these ISIS bastards once and for all. Bomb them all to oblivion.

JOEYSTEELE (spoken) I agree. It doesn’t matter what it takes, we need to wipe them from the face of the Earth.

KIRK (Spoken)
You’re all absolutely right. This war- this whole murdering terrorist business – It’s easily solved. We’ve just got to stop playing and really mean business with them.

KIRK (Singing)
Give 'em the old frazzle dazzle
Frazzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em a bomb with lots of flash in it
take off the gloves and let’s be passionate
Give 'em the old plutonium
The only way is to be nuking ‘em.
How can they kill, when they’re vapourised?

What if, your demise is imminent?
Because being PC is fecking impotent??
Then, Frazzle dazzle 'em
Blow ‘em up to the skies.

Give 'em the old Frazzle Dazzle

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE (singing)
Frazzle dazzle 'em
Nuclear bombing is so splendiferous

KIRK
And the free world’s praise will be quite vociferous

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
Give 'em the old Enola Gay stuff
Let ‘em know we’ve had e-fecking-nough

KIRK
How can they kill when they ‘aint here no more?

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
ISIS propaganda is all just a finagle
to be swallowed with Sahlav and a warm bagel,

KIRK
Frazzle dazzle 'em
And they'll murder no more!

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
It gets ya nowhere just despising ‘em
Ya gotta get busy vapourising ‘em
Ever since the days of old Methuselah
Everyone loves the big bangbooz-a-ler

Don’t be arresting, charging and trying ‘em
The only way is nuclear frying ‘em
If ya wanna beat ‘em, then don’t give ‘em a chance

Mercy and Justice, they never heard a
Their only intention is to murder
So, frazzle dazzle 'em
It’s the sensible stance.

LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE(over KIRK)
Give 'em the old
Frazzle Dazzle

KIRK
Give 'em the old Frazzle Dazzle
Frazzle dazzle 'em
Give ‘em all that we’re worth.
It aint rash making ash of all of ‘em
If ya don’t the West will fall for them
So frazzle Dazzle 'em

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
Frazzle Dazzle 'em
Frazzle Dazzle 'em

Then we’ll have Peace On Earth.

What on earth did I just read?

[Nedusa]

Dedicated to LIVIA and NINASTAR – two women with balls of steel. An excerpt from:

'ISIS – THE MUSICAL' (With apologies to ‘Chicago’)

INT. THE TIBB LOUNGE. DAY.

LIVIA’, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX and KIRK and JOEYSTEELE are chatting.

NINASTAR(Spoken)
Those ISIS bastards have beheaded another poor victim. I’m feckin sick of it.

LOSTALEX(Spoken)
We gotta get real with these murdering demons, they’re a cancer on humanity. .

LIVIA(Spoken)
We need to eradicate these ISIS bastards once and for all. Bomb them all to oblivion.

JOEYSTEELE (spoken) I agree. It doesn’t matter what it takes, we need to wipe them from the face of the Earth.

KIRK (Spoken)
You’re all absolutely right. This war- this whole murdering terrorist business – It’s easily solved. We’ve just got to stop playing and really mean business with them.

KIRK (Singing)
Give 'em the old frazzle dazzle
Frazzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em a bomb with lots of flash in it
take off the gloves and let’s be passionate
Give 'em the old plutonium
The only way is to be nuking ‘em.
How can they kill, when they’re vapourised?

What if, your demise is imminent?
Because being PC is fecking impotent??
Then, Frazzle dazzle 'em
Blow ‘em up to the skies.

Give 'em the old Frazzle Dazzle

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE (singing)
Frazzle dazzle 'em
Nuclear bombing is so splendiferous

KIRK
And the free world’s praise will be quite vociferous

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
Give 'em the old Enola Gay stuff
Let ‘em know we’ve had e-fecking-nough

KIRK
How can they kill when they ‘aint here no more?

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
ISIS propaganda is all just a finagle
to be swallowed with Sahlav and a warm bagel,

KIRK
Frazzle dazzle 'em
And they'll murder no more!

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
It gets ya nowhere just despising ‘em
Ya gotta get busy vapourising ‘em
Ever since the days of old Methuselah
Everyone loves the big bangbooz-a-ler

Don’t be arresting, charging and trying ‘em
The only way is nuclear frying ‘em
If ya wanna beat ‘em, then don’t give ‘em a chance

Mercy and Justice, they never heard a
Their only intention is to murder
So, frazzle dazzle 'em
It’s the sensible stance.

LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE(over KIRK)
Give 'em the old
Frazzle Dazzle

KIRK
Give 'em the old Frazzle Dazzle
Frazzle dazzle 'em
Give ‘em all that we’re worth.
It aint rash making ash of all of ‘em
If ya don’t the West will fall for them
So frazzle Dazzle 'em

KIRK, LIVIA, NINASTAR, LOSTALEX & JOEYSTEELE
Frazzle Dazzle 'em
Frazzle Dazzle 'em

Then we’ll have Peace On Earth.


Is this coming to a Theatre near me any time soon ?




.

[arista]

Thanks to Niamh for placing this
in the right section

[Kyle]

The hills are alive with the sound of gunfire

[arista]

The hills are alive with the sound of gunfire


For Sure

[Kyle]

Making a musical Kirk, what's wrong with you man,
Don't you know under this forum it constitutes spam
At precisely 1200 Arista will be right on your case
And the only thing left is to try and save face

You could say you were hacked
Under pressure you cracked
Maybe you had a stalker
You could think up a corker
It was the devil you say?
Get on your knees and pray

But it wouldn't matter anyway


Cos it constitutes spam
You could argue it's ham

But it wouldn't matter anyway

Be.....cause...

Here come Niamh and she is fuming
Twit twit twit
Cos on her thread a you be groomin'
Twit twit twoo
Because now here comes Kyle and he's talking in soooooooooooong
Get the admin to lock it cos surely that is wrooooooooooooooong

[Kyle]

*******in Waterhog ain't got nothin on us Kirk. :banana:

[arista]

Is this coming to a Theatre near me any time soon ?




.


No they can not get enough Security Protection
for it.

[arista]

*******in Waterhog ain't got nothin on us Kirk. :banana:



Hog could add his version on here

[Kyle]

No they can not get enough Security Protection
for it.

Hog could add his version on here

Why does this not rhyme? :umm2:

Can't get the staff these days

[kirklancaster]

Making a musical Kirk, what's wrong with you man,
Don't you know under this forum it constitutes spam
At precisely 1200 Arista will be right on your case
And the only thing left is to try and save face

You could say you were hacked
Under pressure you cracked
Maybe you had a stalker
You could think up a corker
It was the devil you say?
Get on your knees and pray

But it wouldn't matter anyway


Cos it constitutes spam
You could argue it's ham

But it wouldn't matter anyway

Be.....cause...

Here come Niamh and she is fuming
Twit twit twit
Cos on her thread a you be groomin'
Twit twit twoo
Because now here comes Kyle and he's talking in soooooooooooong
Get the admin to lock it cos surely that is wrooooooooooooooong

:joker:

Hey mate - Why don't we seriously get our heads together and do a parody? Look at the loot they make. 'ISIS - The Musical' -- It's got a good ring to it. (We'd have to wear fecking steel helmets and flack jackets though if it got produced. :hehe::hehe:

[kirklancaster]

Another excerpt from my musical parody - 'ISIS - THE MUSICAL' - for which, when I have finished writing it, there are plans for it to be actually produced and performed by a group of terrorist-hating 'Performing Arts' students (I'm directing) and hopefully, we can post a copy on You Tube.

For anyone interested, it is a parody loosely based on the film 'Chicago' - which I love - and it will seriously help anyone who isn't familiar with the film, to use the relevant links to see the real excerpts being parodied on YouTube. The Link for this excerpt - 'The Nuke 'Em Tango' -- 'The Cell Block Tango' is given below in case you want to watch it first.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA6R1DMb-Z8

Another excerpt from ‘ISIS – THE MUSICAL’: ('Cell Block Tango' from 'Chicago')

VOICEOVER
And now the Joint Chiefs Of Staff Of The Western Alliance In their rendition of 'The Nuke ‘Em Tango'

ALL CHIEFS OF STAFF (singing)

Bomb Drop! Hit For Six! Flash!. Uh uh, Way to Go. Dip****z!.
Bomb Drop! Hit For Six! Flash!. Uh uh, Way to Go. Dip****z!. Bomb Drop! Hit For Six! Flash!. Uh uh, Way to Go. Dpi****z!

They had it coming, They had it coming
They only had themselves to blame
Only way to stop ‘em, get nukes ‘n drop ‘em.
‘Cos these bastards are all insane.

Bomb Drop! Hit For Six! Flash!. Uh uh, Way to Go. Dip****z!.
Bomb Drop! Hit For Six! Flash!. Uh uh, Way to Go. Dpi****z!

5 STAR GENERAL I. LUVKICKINGBUTT (speaking)

You know how terrorists have these murdering habits
That get you down? Like ISIS!
ISIS love to just kill innocent people. No, not kill, execute!
So, we all got together this one day
And we’d had enough. Well, talking, trying to reason and being tolerant, None of that worked.
They just kept on killing.
No, not killing. Executing!

So, I said to the other Chiefs, I said,
"Them bastards kill one more innocent person...” Well they did.
So we deployed thousands of ground troops
And authorised air strikes. But them devils just executed more innocents in retaliation. So we goddam nuked ‘em.

ALL CHIEFS OF STAFF (singing)

They had it coming, They had it coming
They only had themselves to blame
Only way to stop ‘em, get nukes ‘n drop ‘em.
‘Cos them bastards are all insane.

4 STAR GENERAL WHOPEMGOOD (talking)

I been fecking with these murdering maniacs for years. ‘N every time we invaded one shabby country to oust a nutjob Islamic dictator, these terrorist bastards go right on and start up killing and bombing to try and convert another.

Hell boy, it’s like De ja Goddamn vu or something.
Religious my big hairy ‘ass, these evil mothers are just plain ole evil killers using Allah as an excuse. Thing is; we didn’t have a cat in hell’s chance a beating 'em. I mean, it aint as though they fight fair or something. Don’t wear no uniforms, or come at ya over the top of a trench. No sirree. These cowardly asswipes just sneak around , planting bombs and executing civilians. An’ they all look just the same. Can’t tell a good un from a bad un.

So what we did – we Goddamn nuked the bastards.

ALL CHIEFS OF STAFF (singing)

They had it coming, They had it coming.
They were set in their evil ways. Some idolised ‘em, but we despised ‘em. And now they’ve vanished in a haze.

.................................................. ............................................

Do you think this musical could be a smash if it was produced? :hehe:

[kirklancaster]

Is this coming to a Theatre near me any time soon ?
.

Nedusa - I will post you a DVD copy when it's finished and produced. :hehe:

[Livia]

I'm lovin' this... it's like, A Game of Drones.

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

http://media.tumblr.com/028ac3199bedf59f853fcbbf18c4b729/tumblr_inline_nephvtwBHo1qckj0m.jpg

[kirklancaster]

Another excerpt from my musical parody - 'ISIS - THE MUSICAL' - for which, when I have finished writing it, there are plans for it to be actually produced and performed by a group of terrorist-hating 'Performing Arts' students (I'm directing) and hopefully, we can post a copy on You Tube.

For anyone interested, it is a parody loosely based on the film 'Chicago' - which I love - and it will seriously help anyone who isn't familiar with the film, to use the relevant links to see the real excerpts being parodied on YouTube. The Link for this excerpt - 'Terrorist Press Conference Rag’ -- 'The Press Conference Rag' is given below in case you want to watch it first.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBM82Ju2kJU

Another excerpt from 'ISIS - THE MUSICAL' -- 'The Terrorist Press Conference Rag':

INT. HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM. SOMEWHERE IN SYRIA. DAY
ABU BAKR AL-BAGHADADI – Caliph of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) & The Biggest Murdering Coward In The World (now that Osama DustBin Laden has thankfully passed into La La Land) is holding a Press Conference to defend his ‘puppet’, the murdering coward known as JIHADI JOHN against world-wide condemnation for his bestial, inhuman beheading of innocent victims.

Baghadadi sits on a chair centre stage, he is wearing scarlet lipstick and false eyelashes, and huge bright pink bow on his black turban. He is holding Jihadi John on his lap like a Ventriloquist’s Dummy.

Jihadi John is dressed all in black, wearing a 'Niquab' – with only his dark evil eyes showing – and an 'Abaya', which almost reaches the ground. Incongruously, however, he is also wearing a pair of women’s glittery silver 6” stiletto heeled shoes.

The room is crowded with eager reporters from around the world. Baghadadi mostly speaks for cretin John in the style of a very poor ventriloquist:

VOICE OVER(spoken)]
Mr Abu Bakr Al-Baghadadi and Jihadi John and the ‘Terrorist Press Conference Rag.

You’ll never, ever see Abu’s mouth moving.... Well hardly, and you’ll never ever see Jihadi John’s mouth moving at all....
... Well, you won’t will you ‘cos the coward’s wearing a mask.

REPORTERS Where'd you come from?

ABU BAGHADADI (speaking for Jihadi John)
London, England.

REPORTERS
And your parents?

ABU BAGHADADI (speaking for Jihadi John)
Lived in Britain.

REPORTERS
Where are they now?

JIHADI JOHN (speaking for himself)
Dad’s in prison. Mam’s a prossie.

REPORTERS (shocked)
Oooh!

JIHADI JOHN (speaking for himself)
Dad bombed innocents for the cause. Mam walks the streets with other *****s.

ABU BAGHADADI (to Jihadi John)
Shut up Dummy.
(To Reporters) (defensively)
Well, Housing Benefits and Social Security in the UK, don’t cover everything. Terrorism’s an expensive business you know.

REPORTERS (to Jihadi John)
When'd you get here?

ABU BAGHADADI (speaking for Jihadi John)
2013.

REPORTERS
How old were you?

ABU BAGHADADI (speaking for Jihadi John)
Aint a telling.

REPORTERS
Then what happened?

JIHADI JOHN (speaking as himself)
I met ABU BAKR AL-BAGHADADI – He became my sugar daddy.
And he stole my heart away
So I joined ISIS straight away.

MARY MOONSHINE (A THICK REPORTER) (spoken)
Oh you poor dear. I didn’t realise what you’ve been through. A father in prison. A mum who’s on the game. Brought up in the UK on benefits, and you’re a gay Islamic Fundamentalist. I bet that combination’s not easy.

JIHADI JOHN (speaking as himself)
Don’t make me laugh being Gay’s nothing. All us Jihadists are seriously perverted in one way or another. . Why do you think Camels learnt to run away as fast as they do? We just keep it all secret, but I didn’t have to hide it in London – I’ll give you that.

MARY MOONSHINE
Well, why did you come here then?

JIHADI JOHN (speaking as himself)
Are you kidding sister? Where else can I butcher helpless victims without being punished? (sings) I went from a zero nerdy runt, to a hero murdering ****.

REPORTERS
But why do you do it anyway? Murder, I mean.

JIHADI JOHN (speaking as himself)
I’m no cowardly evil man, but I just do it ‘cos I can.

REPORTERS
Tell us about your first one.

ABU BAGHADADI (speaking for Jihadi John)
My victim was threatening. I was frightened.

REPORTERS But wasn’t he kneeling on the ground? With both his hands tightly bound? Wasn’t he fearful for his life, When you stood over him with a knife?

JIHADI JOHN (speaking as himself) (ANGRILY) That’s just Western imperialist lies. The victim threatened with his eyes.

REPORTERS OK John – point taken, don’t be vexed Just tell us all what happened next?

ABU BAGHADADI (speaking as himself)
I can swear this on my life John and his victim....... (thinks) ...Both went for the KNIFE!.

REPORTERS
Then describe it Abu, please go on.

ABU BAGHADADI (speaking as himself)
The victim had strength and John had none.

ABU BAGHADADI (speaking for Jihadi John)
And yet we both reached for the knife.
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, we both,
Oh yes we both,
Oh yes, we both reached for
The knife, the knife, the knife, the knife,
Swear on my life, we both reached for the knife. For the knife.

REPORTERS
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both,
Oh yes, they both,
Oh yes, they both reached for
The knife, the knife, the knife, the knife,
Oh yes, they both reached for the knife.
For the knife.

ABU BAGHADADI (speaking as himself)
Understandable, understandable
Yes beheading’s understandable
Comprehensible, Really sensible.
Not a bit reprehensible
It's so defensible.

REPORTERS
How were you feeling?

ABU BAGHADADI (speaking for Jihadi John)
Very frightened.

REPORTERS
Are you sorry?

JIHADI JOHN (speaking for himself)
Are you kidding? How could I rue it? It’s Allah’s bidding, he said “do it.”

MARY MOONSHINE
Then it’s understandable, understandable.

ABU BAGHADADI AND MARY MOONSHINE
Understandable, understandable
Yes beheading’s understandable
Comprehensible, Really sensible.
Not a bit reprehensible
It's so defensible.

REPORTERS
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for...

ABU BAGHADADI (speaking as himself)
Let me hear it!

REPORTERS
The knife, the knife, the knife,
The knife.
Oh yes, they both reached
For the knife.
For the knife.
..................................End of Excerpt...........................

I'm sorry that some of this hasn't formatted correctly, but I'm sure you follow it. I just hope that any Fundamental Jihadists reading this doesn't think that I'm taking the piss or trying to ridicule the murdering bastards - "Who 'moi'?":wavey: