my Valentine gift to wooooooo a lady forum member (spoof)

[waterhog]

my Valentine gift to wooooooo a lady forum member (spoof) 12.02.15

this is going to be blunt
desperation is very inflicting
this is not all about poking the "Jeremy Hunt"
please note this phrase is 18 age encrypting.
i can do romantic
lady's get ready to drop
my gesture really is gigantic
Saturday will be like the first time your cherry did pop.
will i deliver chocolate and dinner
are any lady's closer to my hook
i really feel this could be my winner
can i just state "only apply if you can cook".
everyone likes to be clean
so don't try and remove this line with a rubber
in your suspenders me and my whip will be obscene
not just in reality but in fantasy i love a scrubber.
you can chocolate smother
yes it gets my tick
you are on the right path to being my lover
if i put it down below will you lick.
please don't forget the roses
i might even ware black kinky tights
it reminds me of the "Crossing of the Red Sea" and Moses
you will tingle more then all the Israelite's.
we need a bit of booze
so romance can blossom
let me just have 30 mins for a snooze
then i will taste better then a purple passion fruit Possum.
if you can see gold
and i did not make you cry
then together me and you can grow old
so put your thinking cap on and i await a poem application reply.

(http://www.localharvest.org/possum-purple-passion-fruit-C15912 - if you are the unlucky one - you will get a poem reply back on here in which i name and select you as my fun pretend fantasy Valentine. this thread is a spoof.i have a perfect girl friend who i meet every night from calling the phone number in my local phone box and we are perfectly happy together. )

[Christmas Dynasnow]

this is going to be blunt



tbh i had high hopes for line 2 after that opener..

[Kizzy]

not just in reality but in fantasy i love a scrubber.

It's Kazanne :idc:

[Christmas Dynasnow]

not just in reality but in fantasy i love a scrubber.

It's Kazanne :idc:

:joker:


:nono:

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

did everyone try the chicken

[Christmas Dynasnow]

did everyone try the chicken

I choked mine

[Cherry Christmas]

They are perched for love in the Lounge WH if you dare venture in

[Mokka]

They are perched for love in the Lounge WH if you dare venture in

:joker:
To true, to true

[waterhog]

They are perched for love in the Lounge WH if you dare venture in

cherie please lead the way - i like your name - it makes me merry.

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

They are perched for love in the Lounge WH if you dare venture in

http://i.imgur.com/K4zqO8r.gif

[waterhog]

direct me to the lounge rose pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[kirklancaster]

A Valentine For My Mate Hog:

I love your poems, dear Waterhog Because they always make me smile. But TIBB girls won’t let you poke ‘Jeremy Hunt’ So try the slappers on Jeremy Kyle.

But 'Jezza' girls are not that bright, In fact, they’re really quite silly And won’t care about the size of your gesture, Only the size of your willie.

And if you stipulate ‘Girl’s who can cook’ You’ll be singing the wrong kind of ballad, ‘Cos Jeremy Kyle girls can’t even spell ‘oven’, And will end up burning your salad.

So do you prefer a ‘sure thing’ who can’t cook, Or a ‘No No’ who’s like Mary Berry? ‘Cos one might say, “No way” ,but cooks for a gourmet, And the other’s a tart with no cherry.

I’d make it a night to remember Hog, With Chocolates, Roses and Candles, But don’t lose your rag if you opt for the slag, and she turns up in ‘T’ shirt and sandals.

And make sure she understand euphemisms, Or else she may start to gripe, And get really vexed when you start to talk sex, about the meaning of both ‘Crack’ and ‘Pipe’.

And how I’d love to be a fly on your wall, At the precise moment when, She says to you “Take off my knickers and bra” And don’t ever wear them again.

Anyway Hog, a St Valentine’s date , Is better than a night watching telly, But upon my word, if you’re stuck for a bird, I can send you Fat White Dee Kelly.

:cheer2::wavey:

[waterhog]

kirky my baby - i am touched - that has been by far your best peace and i am in hysterics.

i can not even come back with a reply i am that gob smacked.


thank you so much. it was fantastic. and if you hear grunting then you no the hog has got lucky :dance: