Counselling: Your views on it

[Benjamin]

Do you believe it works, have you been, or do you think it's just another way for people to make money off people with problems?

[andybigbro]

I've never been to it but I believe it works. I study psychology and I'm very interested in counselling. I believe that it's great for when people feel like they have no one and need someone to talk to/let off steam. Talking to a stranger who doesn't judge you is great and people find comfort in that.

[Kizzy]

I had it for a bit, I went 3 times and then they said I was cured and didn't need to go again... So, that was nice.
Really I was just told that I was not 'at risk' of a relapse and given details of a group session that I never went to.
Talking helps if you have a good therapist who listens and allows you to offload and suggests positive ways to reassess your mindset then it's worth it, if it's just a scam artist then you could I suppose be fleeced for lots without ever feeling any benefit.
Surely when you aren't moving forward you would begin to question the validity of the therapist?
I had already had 1000 conversations in my head about the pros and cons and possible outcomes in differing scenarios so he didn't say anything to me that I hadn't already heard, that said if I hadn't already turned the corner then I wouldn't have entertained him at all.
Knowing the therapist had direct experience of an addiction helped as they were able to draw on their own experience and it didn't feel like you were the first to ever have an issue, it removed some of the stigma for me.
There are always going to be good and bad Councillors though, there are good and bad in all professions.

[Vanessa]

I think i may need it. :(

[Kizzy]

You're up late ness, you ok?

[lostalex]

it definitely works if the person getting the counseling is dumb. because they will be able to think of things in a way that they have never thought of them before.

I don't think it works for smart people though.

also i think couples counseling and family counciling works because often times people in relationships don't talk about things directly, but a counselor will bring everything up and force everyone to talk about uncomfortable things.

[the truth]

Its good to talk. conversation in general is a good thing , especially when both sides listen. In the case of counselling the only way to know if it works is to ask those who have had counselling and listen to their answers. I certainly wouldn't ask the counsellors opinions as they will try to justify themselves. Id expect it helps some more than others, the need to communicate is surely a universal human desire but its stronger in some than others. The downside of counselling as opposed to a regular chat with friends or family is the feeling its somehow contrived and unnatural and knowing throughout the counsellor is paid to be there and is working within his/her remit.

[Vanessa]

You're up late ness, you ok?

Not really no. :sad:

[Ammi]

Not really no. :sad:

..:hug:...

[kirklancaster]

I have no personal experience of this, but I do know LeatherTrumpet had a few sessions with a psychiatrist last year. I don't know how successful it all was because the psychiatrist is still in a straitjacket in a Secure Institution and doesn't speak except to howl at the moon when it's full.

[Nedusa]

I think most people on here could benefit from councilling judging by the content of some of the posts I read.

[Vanessa]

I have no personal experience of this, but I do know LeatherTrumpet had a few sessions with a psychiatrist last year. I don't know how successful it all was because the psychiatrist is still in a straitjacket in a Secure Institution and doesn't speak except to howl at the moon when it's full.

:laugh:

[kirklancaster]

I think most people on here could benefit from councilling judging by the content of some of the posts I read.

:joker::joker::joker:

I agree Nedusa. I agree.

[joeysteele]

Its good to talk. conversation in general is a good thing , especially when both sides listen. In the case of counselling the only way to know if it works is to ask those who have had counselling and listen to their answers. I certainly wouldn't ask the counsellors opinions as they will try to justify themselves. Id expect it helps some more than others, the need to communicate is surely a universal human desire but its stronger in some than others. The downside of counselling as opposed to a regular chat with friends or family is the feeling its somehow contrived and unnatural and knowing throughout the counsellor is paid to be there and is working within his/her remit.

This for me, really good points as to it the truth,I do like when we can agree on things and this is one I totally agree with you on as to what you have said above.

All I would add is that counseling to really work needs the person with any problems,whatever they may be, to be really ready for counselling too,not pushed into it but wanting the process.

Even more vital to the success of counselling is that the counsellor can be related to at least a little.
Operating counselling in a cold or clinical fashion and even coming across in any way patronising or judgemental can acually harm an individual more than assist in any way with their problems.

Excellent point at the end of your post as to the paid element as to counsellors too.

[kirklancaster]

:laugh:

I hope I've cheered you up a bit Vanessa.

[Vanessa]

I hope I've cheered you up a bit Vanessa.

Yes, thank you. :blush:

[Crimson Dynamo]

Yes, thank you. :blush:

http://media.tumblr.com/7fa06ce2a0e9b3fcd7a3cec702d6dc4d/tumblr_inline_miwyrwDMeg1qz4rgp.gif

[Crimson Dynamo]

I went to marriage counselling

:fist:

It did not help that the lady doing it was very attractive either

:fist:


but sadly it did not work :bawling:

[Liam-]

I've had counselling and it does actually work, so I'm all for it, i would recommend it to anyone that felt like they needed it

[Jay.]

I had it in year 11, when my parents split up, it worked quite well. But obviously at the time I was literally dreading every single session and not wanting it. But I did work, I think. Thinking of trying it again for some other problems.

[Livia]

I had counselling through victim support when I was attacked at work. I was thoroughly sceptical about it and was unsure how it could help. But it helped so much, I had no idea how much I needed it. I had a good rapport with the counsellor and he helped me no end. I'd encourage anyone to consider it if they felt they needed it.

[Kizzy]

I think bereavement counselling should be sought by more people, even when the relatives are very old, my daughters best friend is still suffering quite badly following the death of her nan almost 2yrs ago :(

[Vanessa]

I think bereavement counselling should be sought by more people, even when the relatives are very old, my daughters best friend is still suffering quite badly following the death of her nan almost 2yrs ago :(

Yeah, i should get that. In recent years i lost both my mum and my brother. My head is still all over the place.

[JoshBB]

I believe it can help people

[Niamh.]

I had counselling through victim support when I was attacked at work. I was thoroughly sceptical about it and was unsure how it could help. But it helped so much, I had no idea how much I needed it. I had a good rapport with the counsellor and he helped me no end. I'd encourage anyone to consider it if they felt they needed it.

Jeez :/

[Vicky.]

I hope it works, starting it in a few weeks :S

I'm skeptical and always have been

[Kyle]

I've had CBT and am doing CAT currently though mine is for a mental health problem rather than general day to day issues but I say go for it. Even if you don't get what you think you are looking for out of it at the very least you should feel better having someone listen to you vent and not feel like you are putting them out.

[Vanessa]

Do you have to pay for it?

[Kizzy]

No ness, go to your doctors and ask if there's any 1to1, or group sessions even it's a comfort just to know you're not the only one feeling as you do and you are support for one another that way too.

[Vanessa]

No ness, go to your doctors and ask if there's any 1to1, or group sessions even it's a comfort just to know you're not the only one feeling as you do and you are support for one another that way too.

Not sure i can talk to a stranger about myself though. But i just feel myself getting depressed these days and maybe talking would help.

[Kyle]

If you go to your GP and tell them they can offer you IAPT services Vanessa. It won't cost you owt.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Not sure i can talk to a stranger about myself though. But i just feel myself getting depressed these days and maybe talking would help.

It will only be a stranger until you go then it will be a friend:spin:

[Livia]

Not sure i can talk to a stranger about myself though. But i just feel myself getting depressed these days and maybe talking would help.

Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger, someone with whom you have no connection, I found it easier anyway. Hope you do too.

[Kizzy]

Not sure i can talk to a stranger about myself though. But i just feel myself getting depressed these days and maybe talking would help.

It would, it's good that you've noticed yourself feeling down too that way you can start to think about ways to help you feel better :)

[Vanessa]

Usually i always feel in control, but not lately.

[jennyjuniper]

I think in general it's a good idea. It depends on whether you are willing to take the advice offered. Also the potential for harm that an unqualified or unscrupilous therapist can inflict can be very damaging.

[Vanessa]

I think in general it's a good idea. It depends on whether you are willing to take the advice offered. Also the potential for harm that an unqualified or unscrupilous therapist can inflict can be very damaging.

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-fuInVqxt2uA/TYH7bvluz5I/AAAAAAAAL-M/Bt0Qx-X37d0/s1600/Baby_laugh.gif

[Kizzy]

If it's one at the docs that won't be a worry ness I wouldn't say, I think that's jst the ones that charge and just take your money without wanting to help, as when you think as soon as they say you're ok they stop getting paid :)
Just don't get stuck on anti depressants, if you just need to work through grief they won't help in the long term.

[Vanessa]

If it's one at the docs that won't be a worry ness I wouldn't say, I think that's jst the ones that charge and just take your money without wanting to help, as when you think as soon as they say you're ok they stop getting paid :)
Just don't get stuck on anti depressants, if you just need to work through grief they won't help in the long term.

Yes, i agree. I don't want them. I'd rather be messed up. :laugh:

[arista]

Do you believe it works, have you been, or do you think it's just another way for people to make money off people with problems?


But what about Counseling thats free


so of course it works

Silly Ben

[Z]

I sought out CBT after being assaulted for the second time in my life by a stranger. It was really useful for me, because it was about correcting behaviours that only I could help myself with; it was in my control to change how I behaved and my counsellor was absolutely brilliant in helping me with that - so I'd say if you have some kind of problem that's ultimately down to you, you would definitely benefit from it.

On the other hand, I went on anti-depressants after a particularly bad time with my family life had left me crying almost every day and feeling sad all the time; i.e. circumstances that were not in my control. The anti-depressants definitely did the job, I stopped feeling sad and became really productive and cheerful, but I also started becoming extremely carefree/reckless in certain aspects of my life which I decided was not a good thing and ultimately decided to stop taking them. My doctor advised me to wean myself off them gradually but I decided that I'd had enough and that my life had suitably calmed down enough to just stop taking them - as I had a job, a place to live and a happy relationship too.

So, if you've got some kind of problem that you could fix yourself but you can't find the inner strength to; I'd recommend counselling - but if it's something out of your control or you feel is way too much for you to do on your own, perhaps go with counselling in combination with anti-depressants. I didn't seek counselling for the problems with my family because they weren't in my control and no amount of counselling would have been at all useful in that situation.

[Vanessa]

I sought out CBT after being assaulted for the second time in my life by a stranger. It was really useful for me, because it was about correcting behaviours that only I could help myself with; it was in my control to change how I behaved and my counsellor was absolutely brilliant in helping me with that - so I'd say if you have some kind of problem that's ultimately down to you, you would definitely benefit from it.

On the other hand, I went on anti-depressants after a particularly bad time with my family life had left me crying almost every day and feeling sad all the time; i.e. circumstances that were not in my control. The anti-depressants definitely did the job, I stopped feeling sad and became really productive and cheerful, but I also started becoming extremely carefree/reckless in certain aspects of my life which I decided was not a good thing and ultimately decided to stop taking them. My doctor advised me to wean myself off them gradually but I decided that I'd had enough and that my life had suitably calmed down enough to just stop taking them - as I had a job, a place to live and a happy relationship too.

So, if you've got some kind of problem that you could fix yourself but you can't find the inner strength to; I'd recommend counselling - but if it's something out of your control or you feel is way too much for you to do on your own, perhaps go with counselling in combination with anti-depressants. I didn't seek counselling for the problems with my family because they weren't in my control and no amount of counselling would have been at all useful in that situation.
:hug:

[AnnieK]

The hospice where my mum spent the last days of her life sent me a letter recently offering me bereavement counselling and also for my son. I haven't taken them up on it yet but they have said I can contact them if I feel a need in the future. It's kind of nice to know the offer is there but just talking to friends has helped, they knew my mum so I found it easier to just talk rubbish to them about her and they got it.

[waterhog]

i had one session - i asked to book my next and he said he is having time off and he needs counseling.

i turnt to poetry after all this to filter out the bad and it is working like a dream and i have never looked back.

[the truth]

ITS ESSENTIAL TO have it in some form or another though its a sad reflection of our so called society that people feel they have no one else to talk to other than a paid hand....I agree too its often easier to talk to strangers.

[Ammi]

I sought out CBT after being assaulted for the second time in my life by a stranger. It was really useful for me, because it was about correcting behaviours that only I could help myself with; it was in my control to change how I behaved and my counsellor was absolutely brilliant in helping me with that - so I'd say if you have some kind of problem that's ultimately down to you, you would definitely benefit from it.

On the other hand, I went on anti-depressants after a particularly bad time with my family life had left me crying almost every day and feeling sad all the time; i.e. circumstances that were not in my control. The anti-depressants definitely did the job, I stopped feeling sad and became really productive and cheerful, but I also started becoming extremely carefree/reckless in certain aspects of my life which I decided was not a good thing and ultimately decided to stop taking them. My doctor advised me to wean myself off them gradually but I decided that I'd had enough and that my life had suitably calmed down enough to just stop taking them - as I had a job, a place to live and a happy relationship too.

So, if you've got some kind of problem that you could fix yourself but you can't find the inner strength to; I'd recommend counselling - but if it's something out of your control or you feel is way too much for you to do on your own, perhaps go with counselling in combination with anti-depressants. I didn't seek counselling for the problems with my family because they weren't in my control and no amount of counselling would have been at all useful in that situation.

..yeah I would say this exactly as well...for some people therapy works brilliantly and for others it could be medication/or a mixture of both even ..it really is dependant on the individual and as you say, the situation as well...

[Shaun]

I'm considering it.

I think I may be bipolar, or just plain depressed lol. I keep having recurring dreams about my late brother & father and waking up from them just always leaves me... I don't know, but it just puts me in a down mood for the rest of the day.

I also feel like there isn't anyone I want to or can talk to about it... especially my family because my mum was actually diagnosed with depression and had almost a year off work because of it so I feel like it'd be taking the piss. "Hi mum yeah you know how your firstborn died and you feel like a failed parent? Well I sometimes can't sleep..." you know? And I've always had difficulty expressing these things to friends, I think that's why I spill so much to people on here. And then I just get more down because it feels like no one cares, but really it's just my fault because I don't feel like I can open up.

But yeah... The stigma of "getting counselling" definitely puts me off.

[Kyle]

If someone is gonna look down on you for going to counselling then they probably aren't worth knowing. If you think you can benefit from it, especially when you express concerns you might have bi-polar disorder, maybe going just once to see would be ok I dunno.

There's no shame in asking for help from time to time.

[Niamh.]

I'm considering it.

I think I may be bipolar, or just plain depressed lol. I keep having recurring dreams about my late brother & father and waking up from them just always leaves me... I don't know, but it just puts me in a down mood for the rest of the day.

I also feel like there isn't anyone I want to or can talk to about it... especially my family because my mum was actually diagnosed with depression and had almost a year off work because of it so I feel like it'd be taking the piss. "Hi mum yeah you know how your firstborn died and you feel like a failed parent? Well I sometimes can't sleep..." you know? And I've always had difficulty expressing these things to friends, I think that's why I spill so much to people on here. And then I just get more down because it feels like no one cares, but really it's just my fault because I don't feel like I can open up.

But yeah... The stigma of "getting counselling" definitely puts me off.

aw Shaun you shouldn't feel like that, I'm sure your mother would hate to know that's how you feel as well. If your mother suffers with depression she's probably the best person to speak to about it and she'll probably understand alot of what you're feeling :hug:

[Crimson Dynamo]

I'm considering it.

I think I may be bipolar, or just plain depressed lol. I keep having recurring dreams about my late brother & father and waking up from them just always leaves me... I don't know, but it just puts me in a down mood for the rest of the day.

I also feel like there isn't anyone I want to or can talk to about it... especially my family because my mum was actually diagnosed with depression and had almost a year off work because of it so I feel like it'd be taking the piss. "Hi mum yeah you know how your firstborn died and you feel like a failed parent? Well I sometimes can't sleep..." you know? And I've always had difficulty expressing these things to friends, I think that's why I spill so much to people on here. And then I just get more down because it feels like no one cares, but really it's just my fault because I don't feel like I can open up.

But yeah... The stigma of "getting counselling" definitely puts me off.

Dreams are often triggered by unexpressed emotion from certain life events. Every f ucker and their dog does counselling these days (iv even done it) its just going and talking to someone who wont bullsh1t you and will help. I would go for it.

[arista]

I'm considering it.

I think I may be bipolar, or just plain depressed lol. I keep having recurring dreams about my late brother & father and waking up from them just always leaves me... I don't know, but it just puts me in a down mood for the rest of the day.

I also feel like there isn't anyone I want to or can talk to about it... especially my family because my mum was actually diagnosed with depression and had almost a year off work because of it so I feel like it'd be taking the piss. "Hi mum yeah you know how your firstborn died and you feel like a failed parent? Well I sometimes can't sleep..." you know? And I've always had difficulty expressing these things to friends, I think that's why I spill so much to people on here. And then I just get more down because it feels like no one cares, but really it's just my fault because I don't feel like I can open up.

But yeah... The stigma of "getting counselling" definitely puts me off.


We Care Shaun

Put that Long "Beatles Remixers"
track 14 on.

[Marsh.]

aw Shaun you shouldn't feel like that, I'm sure your mother would hate to know that's how you feel as well. If your mother suffers with depression she's probably the best person to speak to about it and she'll probably understand alot of what you're feeling :hug:

I agree with this.

From my own experience, it would probably actually be quite comforting to both of you to open up about it knowing you're both going through similar things.

I remember having recurring dreams that were like flashbacks to my childhood for a good six months or so. I always thought it was a suppressed memory fighting its way to the surface and would say "I'm almost there mum, I'll have something on you soon enough :fist: "

[Jake.]

I'm considering it.

I think I may be bipolar, or just plain depressed lol. I keep having recurring dreams about my late brother & father and waking up from them just always leaves me... I don't know, but it just puts me in a down mood for the rest of the day.

I also feel like there isn't anyone I want to or can talk to about it... especially my family because my mum was actually diagnosed with depression and had almost a year off work because of it so I feel like it'd be taking the piss. "Hi mum yeah you know how your firstborn died and you feel like a failed parent? Well I sometimes can't sleep..." you know? And I've always had difficulty expressing these things to friends, I think that's why I spill so much to people on here. And then I just get more down because it feels like no one cares, but really it's just my fault because I don't feel like I can open up.

But yeah... The stigma of "getting counselling" definitely puts me off.

:hug:

I doubt that your mum would think that of you, I've found out over the past year that keeping things to yourself to the point you feel bottled up really doesn't do anybody any good. You should try and sit down and have a bit of a heart to heart with her, because she's dealt with depression first hand and she'd want to know how you're feeling. I can tell you that pleanty of people care and none of your friends (in real life and in TiBB life) would want you feeling this low. I've had counselling and the 'stigma' wears off after a couple of sessions once you realise that you're there just to chat and get somebody elses point of view, because that's all that it is..

Here if you ever want to chat :)

[Ammi]

I'm considering it.

I think I may be bipolar, or just plain depressed lol. I keep having recurring dreams about my late brother & father and waking up from them just always leaves me... I don't know, but it just puts me in a down mood for the rest of the day.

I also feel like there isn't anyone I want to or can talk to about it... especially my family because my mum was actually diagnosed with depression and had almost a year off work because of it so I feel like it'd be taking the piss. "Hi mum yeah you know how your firstborn died and you feel like a failed parent? Well I sometimes can't sleep..." you know? And I've always had difficulty expressing these things to friends, I think that's why I spill so much to people on here. And then I just get more down because it feels like no one cares, but really it's just my fault because I don't feel like I can open up.

But yeah... The stigma of "getting counselling" definitely puts me off.



..I think that might be the link though...maybe you haven't allowed yourself to feel things and stifled your grief because you've felt that you've had to show emotional strength for your family on the outside ..and that's probably been ok for a while/you've got by and felt you were ok but those things still need to be felt/to be allowed some of your conscious time ...because you try not to let that happen, that's why they're invading your dreams ..your emotions and feelings need a release..

[Kizzy]

That's the thing with broad shoulders, sometimes you feel like there's too much balanced on there.
If you don't think your friends will understand and you don't want to burden your mother just don't tell them?
Your friends don't give you well meaning glances and your mother gets her support, but you do too...win win :)