have you actuall seen Matthew Clarkson's singularly dreadful music vid

[Crimson Dynamo]

:umm2:


and what is that patch of mange on his barnet?


this is too funny, especially the start. :omgno:



_F3bSK0pQDE

[StephenPullen]

I thought he was chatting up a school girl at the start. She looks about 15 with that blouse and skirt. Kind of awkward. I love how they're trying to make Canary Wharf/ Docklands look kind of like downtown Los Angeles - dream on lol.

[Trasadkel1]

:umm2:


and what is that patch of mange on his barnet?


this is too funny, especially the start. :omgno:



_F3bSK0pQDE

That patch of mange on his barnet, as you care to put it, is where he had a benign brain tumour removed.

[Crimson Dynamo]

That patch of mange on his barnet, as you care to put it, is where he had a benign brain tumour removed.

welp

thankyou for clearing it up. but if you dont know , it being a tumour does not somehow jinx you for not knowing

if you get my drift



and the song still sucks, natch

[Trasadkel1]

welp

thankyou for clearing it up. but if you dont know , it being a tumour does not somehow jinx you for not knowing

if you get my drift



and the song still sucks, natch

He is also deaf in his left ear. He obviously hasn't decided to publicise this.

[bots]

wow ... that video is amazing :hehe:

[Pete.]

It's a mess SCREAMING

[Pete.]

Her 'typing' the number in that phone tho

[Vanessa]

It just makes me like him more. :laugh:

[Kizzy]

I like the doctor... If you cut Cristian out it's good.

[Crimson Dynamo]

he needs to ditch music and the pretend black thing and get a job like at a shop or maybe work for his local radio station?

[Vanessa]

He's studying to be a doctor.

[kistar]

I just watched that video and had to sit down a minute , so hot.

[alex_front2]

The beginning, is that for real. Cristian is pure cringe worthiness personified.

[Beetlejuice]

:umm2:


and what is that patch of mange on his barnet?


this is too funny, especially the start. :omgno:



_F3bSK0pQDE

What a load of ****e.

[y.winter]

If you give me your numba imma call you sometime.
:o

That line's still stuck in my head from Day 1 when it was first posted here. :shocked:

[Vanessa]

I just watched that video and had to sit down a minute , so hot.

:creep:

[ebandit]

i'm old...........i divvunt follow pop..........but i kinda liked it

could it be described as c rap?

Mark L

[reece(:]

Her 'typing' the number in that phone tho
Lmao

[Ashley.]

He literally just walked up to her and told her what's going to happen.

[Jamie89]

Oh my! I know I'm a bit late to the party here but I only just watched this. Drowning in cringe right now!

Favourite line? "I can be your barney rubble, going for the whole night till you feel my morning stubble"

A close second: "baby you're my peach I would never pick a plum" (if for nothing else, just coz it sounds a bit like "baby you're my b*tch, I would never pick your bum")

[Vanessa]

He can be a bit cringe sometimes, but I just find it funny. :laugh:

[Crimson Dynamo]

"haters"

"bitches"

the spinning hand gestures

urgh

[bots]

his hand gestures are completely unnatural

[Jason.]

I can't even watch it.
It sounds cringe.

I am laughing at how many likes and dislikes the video has, and all the negative comments.
I doubt those were there before he went in BB. :joker:

Fun Fact:
That video was uploaded the day Zoe was evicted from the house, last year.

[Locke.]

Top tune

[alex_front2]

Poor Cristian. Before BB his rap videos had decent comments and fawning adoration. Now on Bb his rap videos receive ridicule, condemnation and berating. Feel a bit sorry for him as he entered the house fully expecting to be the house hunk. He never banked on Danny being the best looking one, even Dan Wooton from the Sun said he was shocked at how easily more popular Danny was than Cristian with the ladies

[MB.]

Poor Cristian. Before BB his rap videos had decent comments and fawning adoration. Now on Bb his rap videos receive ridicule, condemnation and berating.

It's the career boost he's always wanted. :clap1:

[Vanessa]

Poor Cristian. Before BB his rap videos had decent comments and fawning adoration. Now on Bb his rap videos receive ridicule, condemnation and berating.

Not really :laugh:

[Withano]

I don't know why I put off watching this for so long. This is hilariously bad!

[bots]

i just read some of the comments on youtube, too funny :joker:

[johnx]

Jay Z who?:bawling:

[alex_front2]

Hopefully he will realise he has no career in rap. Especially as bbots middle aged couple the psychologist The Speakmans had to tell him that as a rapper he shoukd have opinions and express them. :joker:

[bots]

This is another good one featuring a liberal use of autotune :laugh:
sYykbFjef5Y

[reece(:]

Such garbage

[alex_front2]

The one tbing I do like about Cristian is he proves even good looking people can be really awkward.

[Jamie89]

This is another good one featuring a liberal use of autotune :laugh:
sYykbFjef5Y

These vids are actually starting to make me like him more! In a pity vote kinda way :joker:

[samanthacurtis]

Song sucks

[Marsh.]

Reminds me of Spiral in that video. So cringeworthy.

[Crimson Dynamo]

he looks wasted in that one

:umm2:

[Ellen]

He is out there trying something he enjoys not sat on his bum doing nothing. Good luck to him, if it doesnt work out at least he as tried.

[Withano]

This is another good one featuring a liberal use of autotune :laugh:
sYykbFjef5Y

Ahahahahahahahaha. I just assumed he was at least borderline talented. He's ****ing ****. Hahahhaha

[johnx]

This is another good one featuring a liberal use of autotune :laugh:
sYykbFjef5Y

As Jay Z once put it this is the death of auto-tune.

[alex_front2]

Reminds me of Spiral in that video. So cringeworthy.


That's plain nasty. :joker:

Now that he realised Nikki was lying about the music contract, he will eventually quit the rap game.

[tanussa]

if u like cristian u'll like his work but if yor a cristian hater yor always gonna be picky & find summat to hav a go at. I am not a rap fan but it seems to be as good as the rap that charts. go cristian. and I might add the fact that he has never mentioned him once having a brain tumour or that he is partially deaf is a massive credit to him, he cud so easily play on these 2 things

[alex_front2]

if u like cristian u'll like his work but if yor a cristian hater yor always gonna be picky & find summat to hav a go at. I am not a rap fan but it seems to be as good as the rap that charts. go cristian. and I might add the fact that he has never mentioned him once having a brain tumour or that he is partially deaf is a massive credit to him, he cud so easily play on these 2 things


Bit in bold: clearly you're not a rap fan :joker: Jay Z and Kanye (they're rappers btw) are quaking in their High tops.

As for his deafness, to be fair he does seem to sporadically wear a hearing aid.


I wouldn't call mysel a hater, just think his fans are blinkered and he's dull. His music is dreadful try hard 3rd degree w#nk.

[Withano]

if u like cristian u'll like his work but if yor a cristian hater yor always gonna be picky & find summat to hav a go at. I am not a rap fan but it seems to be as good as the rap that charts. go cristian. and I might add the fact that he has never mentioned him once having a brain tumour or that he is partially deaf is a massive credit to him, he cud so easily play on these 2 things

Thats not true at all. I don't dislike his music because I dislike his personality, his music is just ****!

[Jase.]

I wish they'd play this in the house :bawling:

[Will.]

Hes more of a mess than Perez Hilton

http://getnetworth.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/perez-hilton-net-worth2.jpg

[alex_front2]

Ja$e, Helen would rip hiz ar$e out.

[Jase.]

Ja$e, Helen would rip hiz ar$e out.

it'd be f'n hilarious :joker:

[Vanessa]

I think he's sweet :laugh:

[Crimson Dynamo]

I think he's sweet :laugh:

Google Translate: I want to ride him like Shergar


:nono: Vanessa you slut

[Denver]

It just makes me like him more. :laugh:

He could stab a litter of new born puppies to death and you will love him more :think:

[Moosething]

He could stab a litter of new born puppies to death and you will love him more :think:

tru

[Oliver_W]

I don't really know enough about hiphop to know if it's good for its type, but it didn't make me wanna click off or anything. I found it a bit endearing, like a seven year old playing a rock song on a guitar... though I'm fairly sure that's not what he was going for.

[Will.]

probably all fake fans

eGs4apx44nU

[armand.kay]

He is also deaf in his left ear. He obviously hasn't decided to publicise this.

lol why is his deafness even relevant? you using it as an excuse for the **** he produces?

[Oliver_W]

lol why is his deafness even relevant? you using it as an excuse for the **** he produces?

His tune ear?

[andybigbro]

Tbf I think his song "Born a Star" is really good and catchy :)

[Liam-]

His tune ear?

Death

[Jason.]

The comments on this thread has made me howl.

:joker::joker::joker::joker::joker:

[Jason.]

Death

Deaf*

[Crimson Dynamo]

probably all fake fans

eGs4apx44nU

:joker:
the fake accent, the tension, the hat, the 70..nearly 100 entries (67 from vanessa)

what a plonker

[Crimson Dynamo]

ssyxCD-uTUA


The lyrics in this one are just too good.. have a listen

:laugh2:

[Withano]

ssyxCD-uTUA


The lyrics in this one are just too good.. have a listen

:laugh2:

did Adjoa write it?

[Jack_]

Him talking about pussy sounds so odd :umm2:

[Jamie89]

probably all fake fans

eGs4apx44nU

Oh no! Hahahaha. He actually held a competition to win posters of himself. And made a song called 'Born a Star'! I didn't think it could get any worse!!
"It's ya boi MJC here"...
...isn't he from Bolton or somewhere?

[Jamie89]

ssyxCD-uTUA


The lyrics in this one are just too good.. have a listen

:laugh2:

I stand corrected. It got worse.

Crying! :laugh2:

Did anyone else think of Jackie Stallone like me at 5 seconds in when the guy says "yeah, I'm Rico"?

[sungrass]

ssyxCD-uTUA


The lyrics in this one are just too good.. have a listen

:laugh2:

is he actually referring to his girlfriend as "pussy"

as long as pussy faithfull - everything she want is paid for
my pussy
pussy eh eh

COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont listen to rap, is this normal?

[Jamie89]

is he actually referring to his girlfriend as "pussy"

as long as pussy faithfull - everything she want is paid for
my pussy
pussy eh eh

COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont listen to rap, is this normal?

From the sounds of it, Cristian has never listened to rap either :joker:

[sungrass]

did Adjoa write it?

:laugh::laugh::thumbs:

YES!! Its Adjoas song!

[sungrass]

he said 'basic bitch' didnt Kate Moss get in trouble for saying that recently?

[Jamie89]

Have you seen his twitter page btw? Also hilarious! He calls his fans Cristianatics and quizzes his followers on their Cristian knowledge. I'm loving the delusion haha!

[sungrass]

if he ever has daughters - they will be so proud. God this is awful.