Homophobia In The Streets

[Wizard.]

Coming from Cornwall I surprisingly didn't experience much abuse in the streets, maybe the odd thing from young teenagers or drunken men, but I always felt safe and comfortable there. When I moved to Manchester I always thought it would be great, there's a better gay-scene (or more gay people) so I thought it would be more widely accepted here. However, for the last 4/5 months I've been here nearly everytime I go out into the city centre I get homophobic abuse either shouted at me, whispered about me or weird shifty stares at me. Examples of abuse I.e "fag" "puff" etc the generic stuff. The other week a Turkish man spat at my feet and said nasty things, and by the way it's always men. I don't know if they're trying to be funny with their friends or something stupid like that, but it's always men.

I don't know if it's because I wear makeup or that I'm with my boyfriend or that I have a sense of fashion that seems to "invite" this sort of abuse, but it's starting to get to me. I usually ignore it, say that it doesn't get to me but it does. I'm paranoid everytime I go out that people are looking at me, that's if I go out at all because my anxiety has gotten to the point where I don't go out much anymore.

I'm moving to Liverpool for University in September and I'm worried because if someone says something to me my boyfriends not going to be there, and I'll run my mouth if someone says something and that leads to fighting... If I don't say anything then an inside rage builds up inside me. It also saddens me that in this day and age I'm still receiving abuse in the streets, people say we're lucky because it's not like Russia here where it's really bad, and yes it might not be as bad but trust me it's bad enough. I was just wondering if anyone else may have experienced this in the UK too and what to vent about it lol. Sorry this has been a long post.

[Daniel.]

Probably because you wear make up otherwise they don't tell

I loved Manchester

[T*]

:hug:

[Will.]

Come to London, theres isn't any homophobic abuse... that Ive seen.

this is shocking though... wtf.

[Wizard.]

Probably because you wear make up otherwise they don't tell

I loved Manchester

Yes but I don't see why I should change just because of ignorance. Wearing makeup doesn't even make you gay. The fact that a masculine gay man shouldn't receive abuse but a feminine gay man should because his homosexuality is more "showcased" is stupid. I hate society.

[Wizard.]

Come to London, theres isn't any homophobic abuse... that Ive seen.

this is shocking though... wtf.

I've never experienced it in London, nor did I in Liverpool but I was only there three days.

[Will.]

surprised in Manchester

[Locke.]

No surprises here, very scummy place is Manchester. You should be alright in the city centre in Liverpool, some of the smaller towns in the city can be pretty rough but town is generally fine, and if you're going to John Moores I assume that you'll be living either in or around town.

[Wizard.]

surprised in Manchester

It's ALWAYS on Market Street or around selfridges.

[Wizard.]

No surprises here, very scummy place is Manchester. You should be alright in the city centre in Liverpool, some of the smaller towns in the city can be pretty rough but town is generally fine, and if you're going to John Moores I assume that you'll be living either in or around town.

Yes John Moores and I am living in town I don't think I'd dare go out of the centre tbh

[Jarrod]

Britain needs to get over it and move with the times. Experiencing homophobia in this day and age is ridiculous! I hope you're okay. I have the same worries really about moving for university, but I've never really experienced it when I've visited the town.

The best thing to do is ignore it and if it gets too much report it to the police. They can help! That's what they're there for. I know it's stupid to say "ignore it" because I'd probably fight back, but that doesn't help really. Just do the right thing and report it. Most of the people doing it are very small minded and in some cases are actually fighting their own sexuality inside by offending others.

[Jake.]

Well what with it being Manchester it's hardly a shock, hopefully things change when you move

[Wizard.]

Britain needs to get over it and move with the times. Experiencing homophobia in this day and age is ridiculous! I hope you're okay. I have the same worries really about moving for university, but I've never really experienced it when I've visited the town.

The best thing to do is ignore it and if it gets too much report it to the police. They can help! That's what they're there for. I know it's stupid to say "ignore it" because I'd probably fight back, but that doesn't help really. Just do the right thing and report it. Most of the people doing it are very small minded and in some cases are actually fighting their own sexuality inside by offending others.

To be honest I never really notice it when people say things after they walk past me (apart from the man that spat) but it's my boyfriend who hears it and gets angry but my hearing isn't great so usually I'd be none the wiser, I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I feel like a ****ing spectacle in town and not in a good way.

[Jarrod]

To be honest I never really notice it when people say things after they walk past me (apart from the man that spat) but it's my boyfriend who hears it and gets angry but my hearing isn't great so usually I'd be none the wiser, I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I feel like a ****ing spectacle in town and not in a good way.

Eh, mine does the same sometimes but I've told him to ignore it. I hope you feel comfortable in university because it wouldn't be good for you or your study if you don't.

[Wizard.]

Eh, mine does the same sometimes but I've told him to ignore it. I hope you feel comfortable in university because it wouldn't be good for you or your study if you don't.

Mhm I felt good about it when I visited and I'm really looking forward to it so I'm going to try and not let anyone ruin my fun.

[armand.kay]

I've never experienced anything like it myself and I've walked around with my mate and his boyfriend holding hands and no one would say anything. It's actually quite surprising coz I live in an urban area.

[T*]

I honestly think it'll be much better in Liverpool tbh

[Ashley.]

Never EVER move somewhere that has a big gay scene. That's the problem. Homosexuality is more apparent because of this, therefore people are more likely to shout stuff because they are more aware of you. If you don't want this to happen, then you should move to a place where being gay isn't such a big thing.

What you need to understand though is people are always going to be thinking stuff when you walk past them, regardless of whether they decided to tell you upfront like the people you're talking about or keep it to themselves. That's just a harsh fact of life; people will always judge you.

[Mystic Mock]

Just ignore them, don't be surprised if they're not gay themselves and they're uncomfortable with it.

[kirklancaster]

For Riley From Kirk:

YOU

You are YOU,
Comfortable in your own skin.
You are TRUE, HONEST
And keep NOTHING in.

You are YOU,
BEAUTIFUL and HOT
A MIRROR which they look in
And SEE ALL THE THINGS THEY'RE NOT.

So for those pygmy-minded cretins
Who stare or sneer
**** them Riley
THEY'RE the ones who are QUEER.

But perhaps my favourite anthem from the 80's says it better than I can:

I AM WHAT I AM

I am what I am
I am my own special creation
So come take a look
Give me the hook or the ovation

It's my world
That I want to have a little pride in
My world
And it's not a place I have to hide in

Life's not worth a dam till I can say
I am what I am

I am what I am
I don't want praise I don't want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it's noise I think it's pretty

And so what if I love each sparkle and each bangle
Why not see things from a different angle
Your life is a shame
Till you can shout out I am what I am

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces

It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a damn till you can shout out
I am what I am

I am what I am

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck sometimes
The aces sometimes the deuces

It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam till you can shout out
I am what I am

I am, I am, I am good
I am, I am, I am strong
I am, I am, I am worthy
I am, I am, I belong

I am, I am
Whoo, whoo, whoo
I am

I am, I am, I am useful
I am, I am, I am true
I am, I am, somebody
I am as good as you

Yes, I am

Songwriter
OWEN,MARK

Hold you head high, keep your back straight, and keep being you.

[AnnieK]

Not happy with the Manchester shaming in this thread :mad: obviously being a white heterosexual woman I haven't experienced anything first hand but I have a lot of gay friends who have moved to Manchester from smaller towns because of the abuse they have experienced from their communities. I'm sorry you've experienced this but don't tar all us Mancs with the same brush as the small minded horrid people you have encountered. I would bet good money they were not born in Manchester.....we are a nice people! Good luck in Liverpool for Uni....hope you are happier there.

[kirklancaster]

Not happy with the Manchester shaming in this thread :mad: obviously being a white heterosexual woman I haven't experienced anything first hand but I have a lot of gay friends who have moved to Manchester from smaller towns because of the abuse they have experienced from their communities. I'm sorry you've experienced this but don't tar all us Mancs with the same brush as the small minded horrid people you have encountered. I would bet good money they were not born in Manchester.....we are a nice people! Good luck in Liverpool for Uni....hope you are happier there.

That is so true Annie. We all used to go to Canal Street (The Village) to have a great time without dickheads wanting to cause trouble. It is a moronic minority who are to blame, and these can be found in every town and city.

As for the emboldened bit - The Turk CERTAINLY wasn't born there was he the cheeky bastard.

[the truth]

it sounds like a minority of bigotry but who knows. I tend to wear an ipod when im wombling around my town so don't hear the people im passing....dare I suggest it too, the mass immigration into the UK includes several million people not accustomed to our more liberal society, no doubt in some parts of the world spitting at gay people is sadly the norm,,,if its any consolation some ignorant people always exist and discriminate against anyone "different" whether its sexuality, disability, ethnicity, etc etc theyre idiots and we all have to put up with them unfortunately. you do have the option of going to the cops if it gets too much though

[Black Dagger]

kmt at the digs at Manchester in this thread. Luckily Annie protected our fine City <3.

[Crimson Dynamo]

"I don't know if it's because I wear makeup or that I'm with my boyfriend or that I have a sense of fashion that seems to "invite" this sort of abuse"

if you wear make up and dress funny then that will invite abuse

you need to be a bit more street smart

[AnnieK]

kmt at the digs at Manchester in this thread. Luckily Annie protected our fine City <3.

Always :lovedup: Mancandproud

[T*]

Not happy with the Manchester shaming in this thread :mad: obviously being a white heterosexual woman I haven't experienced anything first hand but I have a lot of gay friends who have moved to Manchester from smaller towns because of the abuse they have experienced from their communities. I'm sorry you've experienced this but don't tar all us Mancs with the same brush as the small minded horrid people you have encountered. I would bet good money they were not born in Manchester.....we are a nice people! Good luck in Liverpool for Uni....hope you are happier there.


Manchester and Liverpool still feel like home to me, I was a bit taken aback with the hate but I simply said Liverpool will be better because it's smaller

I still love Manchester tbh

[Wizard.]

"I don't know if it's because I wear makeup or that I'm with my boyfriend or that I have a sense of fashion that seems to "invite" this sort of abuse"

if you wear make up and dress funny then that will invite abuse

you need to be a bit more street smart

Well then I'm street stupid because I won't compromise being myself for that. Also I don't wear "funny clothes" I shop at Topman so pretty generic

@Shaun <3

@Annie I know most people here are friendly, I really don't hold it against everyone from Manchester lol. It does tend to be foreigners I'm not racist it's just the truth.

[Jason.]

Come to London :love:

That sounds awful, though. Expiriencing homophobia in 2015 is just absoloutely ludicrous. It's not the ruddy 1950's, wtf

[Crimson Dynamo]

Well then I'm street stupid because I won't compromise being myself for that. Also I don't wear "funny clothes" I shop at Topman so pretty generic

@Shaun <3

@Annie I know most people here are friendly, I really don't hold it against everyone from Manchester lol. It does tend to be foreigners I'm not racist it's just the truth.

then dont moan about getting stick then

:rolleyes:

[Wizard.]

then dont moan about getting stick then

:rolleyes:

So you're basically saying I deserve to have abuse thrown at me for the way I look? Okay then.

[Daniel.]

Manchester is probably the most tolerable place for gays I've been to, bye at the shade in here

Hope your ok though Riley

[Jason.]

I've never been to Manchester. Is it any good?

Been to leeds, though.

[Crimson Dynamo]

So you're basically saying I deserve to have abuse thrown at me for the way I look? Okay then.

You need to be smarter is what I am saying

[Wizard.]

http://i.imgur.com/rJTEJu5.gif

[Crimson Dynamo]

also stop wearing make up

that is for girls

[Jason.]

anyway

[Wizard.]

anyway

This.

[Daniel.]

I've never been to Manchester. Is it any good?

Been to leeds, though.

Loved it

[Daniel.]

also stop wearing make up

that is for girls

It's for anyone who wants to wear it. It doesn't interest me, but anyone can wear it and shouldn't feel judged for it

[Crimson Dynamo]

It's for anyone who wants to wear it. It doesn't interest me, but anyone can wear it and shouldn't feel judged for it

meanwhile back in the real world...

[Ross.]

This isn't going to end well

[Daniel.]

meanwhile back in the real world...

Not this harrowing narrow minded view

[Crimson Dynamo]

Not this harrowing narrow minded view

reality is tough for the weak

[Daniel.]

Harrowingly ridiculous

[Babayaro.]

then dont moan about getting stick then

:rolleyes:

This is quite a ridiculous thing to say tbh. You're basically saying Riley should put up with the homophobic abuse given to him... :umm2:

[Crimson Dynamo]

This is quite a ridiculous thing to say tbh. You're basically saying Riley should put up with the homophobic abuse given to him... :umm2:

No

just be smarter about his appearance

or

stop moaning about it

[LemonJam]

when I was younger I used to do dancing and I really enjoyed it. Was quite good at it as well, but I kept it secret because I didn't want any homophobic abuse. Once people found out I quit immediately. I really, really regret it and often wonder if my life would be different if I didn't succumb to peer pressure.

So my advice is to keep being you and don't let people get to you because those people aren't the people that matter. What do people with narrow minded attitudes do for you? Nothing. Focus on the people that love and accept you for who you are and to quote many successful people, "**** the haters"

[Crimson Dynamo]

when I was younger I used to do dancing and I really enjoyed it. Was quite good at it as well, but I kept it secret because I didn't want any homophobic abuse. Once people found out I quit immediately. I really, really regret it and often wonder if my life would be different if I didn't succumb to peer pressure.

So my advice is to keep being you and don't let people get to you because those people aren't the people that matter. What do people with narrow minded attitudes do for you? Nothing. Focus on the people that love and accept you for who you are and to quote many successful people, "**** the haters"

essentially you are Billy Elliot redux?

[Wizard.]

Trumpet it's not like I wear eyeshadow and lipstick, but that's not the point and even if i wanted to i could.

[Livia]

Everyone is judged on the way they look... everyone. If you are not "the norm" less intelligent people are going to single you out. It's the way it is. As much as Trumpet is a little blunt, he is quite near the truth. If you don't want attention, don't be different. If you want to be different you have to take a certain about of singling out by stupid people.

Things are changing. Half a century ago you could go to prison for being gay. One of our greatest heroes, Alan Turing, had his whole life destroyed by the establishment because he was gay, despite virtually saving this country during the way. Now gay people have equal right, they can marry... the short-sighed jibes from dickheads is merely the death-throes of homophobia which I feel sure will not exist in a few generations. Hope so anyway.

[lostalex]

I've never experienced any direct homophobia against me personally.

the worst i've seen is just people expressing homophobic opinions around me (not knowing i was gay) or the odd homophobic joke.

I've definitely seen other's experience it, but no one has ever said anything homophobic to me directly, or attacked me personally for being gay.

I'm definitely grateful to have lived a life in the time (1982-now) and place (America) to have never suffered any direct abuse.

I definitely am outraged by the people that have though, it makes me sick to my stomach, and grateful for the life that i have.


that being said. i've definitely experienced indirect homophobia. thinking of myself as a second class citizen, thinking of myself as repulsive, and even damned. thinking of myself as mentally diseased or broken in some way. Those thoughts creep into every gay person because of the indirect homophobia. and of course the worst consequence of indirect homophobia... fear.

no one has ever called me a ****** to my face. maybe because i'm male and because of my size, but honestly, i still fear it. and i don't know how i'd react if it did happen.

[Mystic Mock]

meanwhile back in the real world...

So basically LT you're saying for Riley to stick to the status quo and not try to break anything that they don't want to follow?

The Human race would still be in the Medieval times if we all followed your advice of what “the real world” wants us all to be as we'd all lose our quirks.

[Crimson Dynamo]

So basically LT you're saying for Riley to stick to the status quo and not try to break anything that they don't want to follow?

The Human race would still be in the Medieval times if we all followed your advice of what “the real world” wants us all to be as we'd all lose our quirks.

No

Its the same as dont walk around with your wallet in your back pocket, dont wear a rangers shirt walking around the East End of Glasgow on a Saturday night, dont wear a top that has your tits spilling out going to a Chelsea game etc

You stay smart and stay safe.

[Ammi]

..this is not the same at all though...to be yourself and who you are is not provocative in any way..if a guy wants to wear make up then it's something that he does for himself to feel good, if gay partners want to hold hands or kiss in public, then it's an act of affection and something that wouldn't be questioned with heterosexuals....it doesn't 'invite' homophobic remarks, the fault is on the people who make those remarks and lies with them alone otherwise it's all victim blaming....

[Crimson Dynamo]

..this is not the same at all though...to be yourself and who you are is not provocative in any way..if a guy wants to wear make up then it's something that he does for himself to feel good, if gay partners want to hold hands or kiss in public, then it's an act of affection and something that wouldn't be questioned with heterosexuals....it doesn't 'invite' homophobic remarks, the fault is on the people who make those remarks and lies with them alone otherwise it's all victim blaming....

and i am not disagreeing but the OP wants it to stop

if so then he has to change

[lostalex]

..this is not the same at all though...to be yourself and who you are is not provocative in any way..if a guy wants to wear make up then it's something that he does for himself to feel good, if gay partners want to hold hands or kiss in public, then it's an act of affection and something that wouldn't be questioned with heterosexuals....it doesn't 'invite' homophobic remarks, the fault is on the people who make those remarks and lies with them alone otherwise it's all victim blaming....

egggsactly. :thumbs:

[Mystic Mock]

No

Its the same as dont walk around with your wallet in your back pocket, dont wear a rangers shirt walking around the East End of Glasgow on a Saturday night, dont wear a top that has your tits spilling out going to a Chelsea game etc

You stay smart and stay safe.

Or how about these thick people realise that people can do whatever they want and that if they don't like it that they have to lump it.

Just because they're inferior because they have nothing unique about them doesn't give them the god given right to do any of the above, or what they say to Riley.

[Amy Jade]

I'm not shocked about Manchester, my friend got hit on a night out in Tiger Tiger. All my friends say it was unprovoked and I believe them, he's a pretty shy person and he's the sort to talk away.

It really disgusts me that people want to attack another human being just because of who they are. I hope it NEVER happens in Liverpool or ever again to you. Keep the make up on babe don't let anyone change you!

[Amy Jade]

I disagree with you LT, I like my boobs and I like wearing tops to show a bit of cleavage sometimes and I should be able to do so without and disgusting comments or nasty looks.

Riley should be able to hold his boyfriends hand and wear whatever he wasn't and not expect negativity.

[Mystic Mock]

I disagree with you LT, I like my boobs and I like wearing tops to show a bit of cleavage sometimes and I should be able to do so without and disgusting comments or nasty looks.

Riley should be able to hold his boyfriends hand and wear whatever he wasn't and not expect negativity.

I like boobs and girls showing a bit of cleavage too.:hugesmile:

And I agree with you on all fronts, imo people should be allowed to walk out in just their underwear if they want to.

[Wizard.]

Thanks guys <3