View Full Version : Life's great mysteries.
kirklancaster
30-09-2015, 10:36 AM
I often ponder Life's Great Mysteries, and I would be pleased to hear yours.
I'll start with my No. 1 mystery:
Why doesn't Jeremy Kyle fit a locking fecking door on his set to save him chasing the imbecilic 'guests' backstage every show? :laugh:
Crimson Dynamo
30-09-2015, 10:40 AM
women
Why Kirklancaster doesn't have an avatar
Kate!
30-09-2015, 11:02 AM
Why do socks always disappear? I always have some unmatched ones. Does the washing machine eat them? I think we should be told.
..why do people say 'I don't care' when if they didn't care, would they just say nothing at all because they didn't care and weren't bothered...
Niamh.
30-09-2015, 11:09 AM
..why do people say 'I don't care' when if they didn't care, would they just say nothing at all because they didn't care and weren't bothered...
Then no one would know that they don't care :fist:
Then no one would know that they don't care :fist:
..but would we just not presume they didn't care if they said nothing at all...
Niamh.
30-09-2015, 11:12 AM
..but would we just not presume they didn't care if they said nothing at all...
We might presume that they're too angry to say anything and imagine they care loads :unsure:
Crimson Dynamo
30-09-2015, 11:12 AM
arista
We might presume that they're too angry to say anything and imagine they care loads :unsure:
..this is getting quite deep..:laugh:..so I think that it's safe to presume that everyone who says they don't care, is too emotional to say they care..'I care'.. so they say an extra word and say 'I don't care'..:laugh:...(this is like an episode of Father Ted..)..
Niamh.
30-09-2015, 11:34 AM
..this is getting quite deep..:laugh:..so I think that it's safe to presume that everyone who says they don't care, is too emotional to say they care..'I care'.. so they say an extra word and say 'I don't care'..:laugh:...(this is like an episode of Father Ted..)..
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b58/uktechgirl/campion/fatherted_dougalsbrain.gif
Cherie
30-09-2015, 11:45 AM
Why I am on TiBB during off season :suspect:
Toy Soldier
30-09-2015, 11:46 AM
..why do people say 'I don't care' when if they didn't care, would they just say nothing at all because they didn't care and weren't bothered...
Well sometimes there's a need, like when someone thinks you do and is treating you thus. Like... they keep speaking and you need them to stop.
Sometimes you have to be like...
"OMFG I don't care! Stop assaulting me with your information and voice!"
Niamh.
30-09-2015, 11:47 AM
Why I am on TiBB during off season :suspect:
Because we're all so amazing you just can't leave probably :hee:
Well sometimes there's a need, like when someone thinks you do and is treating you thus. Like... they keep speaking and you need them to stop.
Sometimes you have to be like...
"OMFG I don't care! Stop assaulting me with your information and voice!"
...so you would actually be caring because they're assaulting you with their information and their voice...and then saying you don't care when you do care, which was my thoughts exactly..:wink:..why do people say that they don't care instead of just saying nothing if they really don't care...
Cherie
30-09-2015, 11:56 AM
Because we're all so amazing you just can't leave probably :hee:
It must be true :laugh: i used to be able to disappear once BB finished, now I log on to have a look at whats going on every day, I'm an addict :worry:
Crimson Dynamo
30-09-2015, 12:01 PM
It must be true :laugh: i used to be able to disappear once BB finished, now I log on to have a look at whats going on every day, I'm an addict :worry:
I would imagine its my fine humour that is making you habitual?
Cherie
30-09-2015, 12:03 PM
I would imagine its my fine humour that is making you habitual?
It certainly helps :laugh:
Johnnyuk123
30-09-2015, 10:09 PM
McDonalds cheese burgers don't have ANY cheese at all?
King Gizzard
30-09-2015, 10:16 PM
The Weeknd's hair
AnnieK
30-09-2015, 10:22 PM
How today is only Wednesday....it feels like Friday at least
LaLaLand
30-09-2015, 10:25 PM
Why do so many musicians hate "Lorraine"? & who is she?
Adele set fire to her, Missy Elliott can't stand her and Johnny Nash can see clearly now that she's gone...
JoshBB
30-09-2015, 10:26 PM
iggy iggs
King Gizzard
30-09-2015, 10:33 PM
Why do so many musicians hate "Lorraine"? & who is she?
Adele set fire to her, Missy Elliott can't stand her and Johnny Nash can see clearly now that she's gone...
I hate Lorraine (Kelly) too
LaLaLand
30-09-2015, 10:36 PM
I hate Lorraine (Kelly) too
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Z8u8O5UBGHc/SC4M9bA8hKI/AAAAAAAABBo/-AR2O0bd748/s400/Lorraine_Kelly_Handful.jpg
King Gizzard
30-09-2015, 10:37 PM
Urrrrrrggggh
Why do so many musicians hate "Lorraine"? & who is she?
Adele set fire to her, Missy Elliott can't stand her and Johnny Nash can see clearly now that she's gone...
...I see what you did there..:laugh:..the answer my friend is blowing in the wind...
jennyjuniper
01-10-2015, 07:32 AM
I often ponder Life's Great Mysteries, and I would be pleased to hear yours.
I'll start with my No. 1 mystery:
Why doesn't Jeremy Kyle fit a locking fecking door on his set to save him chasing the imbecilic 'guests' backstage every show? :laugh:
:laugh::laugh:Good one Kirk. One good reason to watch The Jeremy Kyle show, is that your own family never seems quite so bad after you have seen the horrors that pass for family on that show.
kirklancaster
01-10-2015, 07:37 AM
:laugh::laugh:Good one Kirk. One good reason to watch The Jeremy Kyle show, is that your own family never seems quite so bad after you have seen the horrors that pass for family on that show.
:laugh: Some of the 'guests' on there Jen, leave you thinking that Serial Killers ain't so bad. :hehe:
Why do Super villains always seem to turn up when the Superhero gets his power? :think:
kirklancaster
01-10-2015, 07:47 AM
Why do Super villains always seem to turn up when the Superhero gets his power? :think:
:laugh: And why do the Cavalry in westerns always turn up about 5 minutes too late? Ditto the cops in crime films.
:laugh: And why do the Cavalry in westerns always turn up about 5 minutes too late? Ditto the cops in crime films.
It's a real pickle Kirk. :think:
kirklancaster
01-10-2015, 07:54 AM
It's a real pickle Kirk. :think:
:laugh: Can't sleep at night.
kirklancaster
01-10-2015, 10:00 AM
Here's another:
Why do politicians NEVER answer a straight question? And why are they allowed to get away with NOT answering?
Crimson Dynamo
01-10-2015, 10:04 AM
why, when i mark an item as dispatched and a seller then gets an email to confirm this AND in their purchase history section of MY EBAY the item is marked as dispatched with the date sent
do i at least 3 times a week get emails from sellers saying
"Hi can you tell me if the item is sent yet?"
:facepalm:
kirklancaster
01-10-2015, 10:06 AM
why, when i mark an item as dispatched and a seller then gets an email to confirm this AND in their purchase history section of MY EBAY the item is marked as dispatched with the date sent
do i at least 3 times a week get emails from sellers saying
"Hi can you tell me if the item is sent yet?"
:facepalm:
:laugh: It's even worse when some of the stupid con artists claim NOT to have received an item when they have actually SIGNED for RECEIPT. :shrug:
Benjamin
01-10-2015, 10:13 AM
Why do birds suddenly appear?
kirklancaster
01-10-2015, 11:04 AM
Why do birds suddenly appear?
But that's only when you are near Ben, and it's not a mystery, because it's down to your irrestible good looks and charisma that they want to be 'close to you'. :laugh:
Niamh.
01-10-2015, 11:07 AM
Why do birds suddenly appear?
Probably because of the smell from you
Crimson Dynamo
01-10-2015, 11:10 AM
Why do birds always want "to talk"
:idc:
DemolitionRed
01-10-2015, 11:19 AM
Why do we often see just one shoe in the road?
ebandit
06-04-2017, 08:49 PM
...how come greenland is just an island
...but australia gets to me a continent?
...looking at my world map they both should be described similarly.............
Mark L
Cherie
06-04-2017, 09:24 PM
Why did we lose so many fine members who contributed to this thread :sad:
Tozzie
07-04-2017, 04:16 PM
Why do birds suddenly appear?
You mean every time you are near?
Well its like this:
Just like me,
they long to be,
Close to you.
Ahhhhhhhh ahhha a a Close to youuuu :laugh:
Tozzie
07-04-2017, 04:18 PM
Why do birds always want "to talk"
:idc:
Yeah my pigeon just wont shut up! Am bloody well sick'n it. Shoot the pigeon, shoot the pigeon, shoot the pigeon NOW! :laugh:
ebandit
07-04-2017, 04:27 PM
...ooops! wor dog caught a pigeon.............carried it around for ages...pleased
as punch
eventually got the pigeon off the dog..........had to dispatch the pigeon humanely
....easy as i'm tough as fu**....................except? wringing it's neck was hard........
Mark L
Tozzie
07-04-2017, 04:33 PM
...ooops! wor dog caught a pigeon.............carried it around for ages...pleased
as punch
eventually got the pigeon off the dog..........had to dispatch the pigeon humanely
....easy as i'm tough as fu**....................except? wringing it's neck was hard........
Mark L
:oh::eek:
Black Dagger
07-04-2017, 04:41 PM
oh thank god. thought he came back then.
ebandit
07-04-2017, 04:54 PM
...how come when i drop/knock over something small and insignificant
.........in my rush to correct i always seem to drop/knock over something
larger and more important...................................oops!
Mark L
Gusto Brunt
08-04-2017, 02:54 PM
And why when I drop anything on the carpet, it doesn't land at my feet it lands about 15 feet away (exaggeration - more like 6 feet).
ebandit
08-04-2017, 05:50 PM
why? did father not stick in at school.............work hard all is life
...........allowing me to be born with that silver spoon.........................
Mark L
Cherie
08-04-2017, 07:46 PM
why? did father not stick in at school.............work hard all is life
...........allowing me to be born with that silver spoon.........................
Mark L
:joker:
Gusto Brunt
09-04-2017, 07:31 AM
And here's another one.
How come someone with absolutely no talent still managed to make millions?
Katie Price.:shrug::conf:
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