Has marriage lost it meaning?

[Will.]

Latest statistics (published December 2012) estimate that 42% of marriages in England and Wales end in divorce. It is also estimated that: 34% of marriages are expected to end in divorce by the 20th wedding.

Divorce has decreased over the years.

http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/resources/divorcechart3_tcm77-305173.png

[Smithy]

No?

I don't think anyone gets married with the intention of getting a divorce, I think decades ago divorce was almost a taboo subject now it's widely accepted and more common

[Cal.]

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lymg4h680D1qfggsro2_250.gif

[Alf]

No?

I don't think anyone gets married with the intention of getting a divorce, I think decades ago divorce was almost a taboo subject now it's widely accepted and more common
It's not widely accepted by the children who's parents divorce.

[Smithy]

It's not widely accepted by the children who's parents divorce.

Well that's a shame, but it's not their choice and it's unfair to stay together in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the children

[MTVN]

Yes

[Kizzy]

I think it's given up on too easily, I love hearing about people who get back together following a divorce.

[Vicky.]

I don't think most people need a piece of paper to show how much they love each other anymore

And I say that as someone who is getting married in 2 months:joker:

[Denver]

Marriage is the most pointless thing ever

[Kizzy]

I don't think most people need a piece of paper to show how much they love each other anymore

And I say that as someone who is getting married in 2 months:joker:

Really?! Aw lovely, congrats vicky xx

For me if you have kids it's a must it gives both parties gravitas, nobody is walking away.....:laugh:

[smudgie]

Totally up to the individual.
My parents divorced(very messy) when I was 16/17 , best thing they ever did for us kids.

I was with hubby 5 years to the day before we tied the knot, must say we are as happy and as much in love as ever, after all these decades together I reckon the love just gets deeper. The secret is not to rush into it, hubby was my 5th proposal, thank goodness I was picky:laugh:

[smudgie]

I don't think most people need a piece of paper to show how much they love each other anymore

And I say that as someone who is getting married in 2 months:joker:

:dazzler: Congratulations to you both Vicky.

[Ithinkiloveyoutoo]

Depends who you marry and their culture and upbringing.

[DemolitionRed]

Congrats Vicky, how exciting :)

Marriage doesn't suit everyone and not everyone's love lasts forever. I'm happily married so I'm certainly not going to agree with someone like Adam.

[Ashley.]

Marriage used to be a traditional religious ceremony that more often than not took place in a church and was not something that was done out of love, but to distribute distinct roles as husband and wife. It's definitely lost its meaning, because people are no longer relying on religious beliefs and even if people do marry, it's more likely to take place in a registry office. And the most important thing is that it's done to express love and trust, not because it's the traditional thing to do unless of course you're religious.

There could be many reasons for the increase in divorce rate. One being that there is less of a stigma attached to being a divorcee and it's no longer an idea that is shunned. I'll also contradict myself and say that some people don't even marry to express love and trust, they just want to have "that day" and look pretty in a white dress or a black suit, and be the centre of attention. Then you get past the honeymoon period and realise "****, do I really want this?" and then the marriage turns sour and eventually comes to a bitter end.

Since 1970, Divorce has changed from a last resort to a quick getaway option. And it's really quite sad. However, think of all the women all those years ago who were in abusive relationships and couldn't get divorced? Now, at least they have the chance.

[Ashley.]

That was a longer post than I thought, sorry.

[Jamie89]

Marriage is the most pointless thing ever

I agree. If people want to get married then that's great, and I love weddings and everything, but it's pointless in the sense that it's not needed. Like, everyone who's in a happy marriage, they'd still be happy with their partner if they weren't married, surely??? I'd probably still get married though, but just for the sake of it, and because everyone else in my family is married or engaged and I don't want to be the odd one out :laugh:, but not because I think it has meaning.

[Johnnyuk123]

You do not need a piece of paper to prove your undying love for someone.

[Niamh.]

Depends on the people I guess.

[Ashley.]

You do not need a piece of paper to prove your undying love for someone.

You shouldn't have to prove anything. A lot of people believe that's exactly what marriage is, that it's all about making it "official" and having it written down, as if the concept of getting married will change your emotions within the relationship.

I've always said that you can't relight a candle if there's no more wax. Marriage may feel brilliant at the time but it's not going to fix anything permanently and shouldn't be used in that way.

[Johnnyuk123]

You shouldn't have to prove anything. A lot of people believe that's exactly what marriage is, that it's all about making it "official" and having it written down, as if the concept of getting married will change your emotions within the relationship.

I've always said that you can't relight a candle if there's no more wax. Marriage may feel brilliant at the time but it's not going to fix anything permanently and shouldn't be used in that way.

I agree with you.Great post! :clap1:

[Z]

I think in some ways it has - people seem to just focus on the big white wedding dress and cutting the cake and all the trivial ****... and they spend so long focusing on that day that they lose sight of what a marriage is all about. Marriage is useful for giving couples more rights and more legitimacy, that's all. It's not about having a party that costs a five figure sum...

[Ashley.]

I think in some ways it has - people seem to just focus on the big white wedding dress and cutting the cake and all the trivial ****... and they spend so long focusing on that day that they lose sight of what a marriage is all about. Marriage is useful for giving couples more rights and more legitimacy, that's all. It's not about having a party that costs a five figure sum...

This. I think people should think twice about jumping into something like marriage, as amazing as it might sound. People are placing so much hope into getting married and having that big day and it ruins good relationships because you often have one person in the relationship who wants it whilst the other doesn't, causing unnecessary conflict.

[DemolitionRed]

We had a friend who was badly injured and later died in a motorbike accident. His long term live in girlfriend wasn’t recognized as his next of kin because his family happened not to like her. So whilst he lay in a coma, she wasn’t allowed to visit him and when he died, she wasn’t allowed to his funeral. She had a long legal battle to keep the home they had built together and she wasn’t allowed access to his bank account to help pay the mounting debts.
If she’d been married, then she would have automatically been his next of kin and none of that sorry state of affairs would have happened.

[Ammi]

...hmmmm, no I don't get that it has lost it's meaning...my marriage/my children are my entire meaning in life so it hasn't lost it's meaning to me...Vicky has said that she's getting married soon, she doesn't have to get married, she has a great guy/two beautiful children..getting married isn't something that she has to do but it's something that she and her partner want to do, they want to do it because it has meaning to them..?..Anniek, another member, has recently got married, she has a beautiful son, a great partner etc...nothing could add to that/change it..?..but they married because doing so had great meaning, Lee, another member etc got married a few years ago...marriage has great meaning, as much as it has ever done to the people that it has great meaning to...actually, I think that it has more meaning now than it ever has just because we're in a time when people don't have to be married, there isn't the same stigma to not being married but being with someone and having children etc...my son and his partner, they also 'have it all' really..they have everything without 'that certificate', it won't bring them anything that they haven't got but they want to be married because it isn't just a certificate/a piece of paper to them...because it has meaning to them...my parents were married for many years because it had meaning...homosexuality only a short while ago really, was illegal ...but now homosexual marriage is legal, it's been fought to be legal/struggled for and prejudiced against etc to be legal...why would that be, why would that piece of paper be so important if didn't have meaning...

...we live in times unlike 'back in the day' when marriage isn't necessary to relationships, to an 'acceptance in society' and that's a great thing but it doesn't take away from the meaningfulness of it for those who it has meaning to....not all marriages last, not all relationships last, there are no forever guarantees and never were or never can be but in a way, I think it's more meaningful now because we have so many choices, because society doesn't judge so much and there is more support..(I know it's not what it should be/the support..)...but people don't have to feel so much that they have to stay in abusive marriages etc, and I think that was something that happened in many cases 'back in the day'...or have to stay 'for the sake of the children' etc....


..so yeah, I think the meaning of marriage is very much there...

[Ammi]

...getting on my high horse a little bit here..:laugh:..:fist:...

[lostalex]

well considering marriage used to just be about women being straight mens property, it makes sense that there are more divorces. Now that women don't have to put up with the abuse and slavery that marriage used to mean, it's no wonder.

unfortunately some cultures still treat women like slaves when they are married, mostly gypsies and muslims and ultra religious people. Their marriages only last because the women are too scared to leave.

[smudgie]

...hmmmm, no I don't get that it has lost it's meaning...my marriage/my children are my entire meaning in life so it hasn't lost it's meaning to me...Vicky has said that she's getting married soon, she doesn't have to get married, she has a great guy/two beautiful children..getting married isn't something that she has to do but it's something that she and her partner want to do, they want to do it because it has meaning to them..?..Anniek, another member, has recently got married, she has a beautiful son, a great partner etc...nothing could add to that/change it..?..but they married because doing so had great meaning, Lee, another member etc got married a few years ago...marriage has great meaning, as much as it has ever done to the people that it has great meaning to...actually, I think that it has more meaning now than it ever has just because we're in a time when people don't have to be married, there isn't the same stigma to not being married but being with someone and having children etc...my son and his partner, they also 'have it all' really..they have everything without 'that certificate', it won't bring them anything that they haven't got but they want to be married because it isn't just a certificate/a piece of paper to them...because it has meaning to them...my parents were married for many years because it had meaning...homosexuality only a short while ago really, was illegal ...but now homosexual marriage is legal, it's been fought to be legal/struggled for and prejudiced against etc to be legal...why would that be, why would that piece of paper be so important if didn't have meaning...

...we live in times unlike 'back in the day' when marriage isn't necessary to relationships, to an 'acceptance in society' and that's a great thing but it doesn't take away from the meaningfulness of it for those who it has meaning to....not all marriages last, not all relationships last, there are no forever guarantees and never were or never can be but in a way, I think it's more meaningful now because we have so many choices, because society doesn't judge so much and there is more support..(I know it's not what it should be/the support..)...but people don't have to feel so much that they have to stay in abusive marriages etc, and I think that was something that happened in many cases 'back in the day'...or have to stay 'for the sake of the children' etc....


..so yeah, I think the meaning of marriage is very much there...

Beautifully said Ammi.

[Kizzy]

I'd say marriage has gone full circle, commitment via certificate went out of favour for a while but now it's back, not sure how much is social pressure, tax and legal benefits mind.
As a romantic I would hope it wasn't a factor, but modern marriage kind of is.
Even if you are the most committed couple ever people change, if you grow together then great...if you grow apart then that might be a cause for a breakdown.
Being married gives both parties a reason to reconcile as divorce is a massive emotional/financial step.

[kirklancaster]

...hmmmm, no I don't get that it has lost it's meaning...my marriage/my children are my entire meaning in life so it hasn't lost it's meaning to me...Vicky has said that she's getting married soon, she doesn't have to get married, she has a great guy/two beautiful children..getting married isn't something that she has to do but it's something that she and her partner want to do, they want to do it because it has meaning to them..?..Anniek, another member, has recently got married, she has a beautiful son, a great partner etc...nothing could add to that/change it..?..but they married because doing so had great meaning, Lee, another member etc got married a few years ago...marriage has great meaning, as much as it has ever done to the people that it has great meaning to...actually, I think that it has more meaning now than it ever has just because we're in a time when people don't have to be married, there isn't the same stigma to not being married but being with someone and having children etc...my son and his partner, they also 'have it all' really..they have everything without 'that certificate', it won't bring them anything that they haven't got but they want to be married because it isn't just a certificate/a piece of paper to them...because it has meaning to them...my parents were married for many years because it had meaning...homosexuality only a short while ago really, was illegal ...but now homosexual marriage is legal, it's been fought to be legal/struggled for and prejudiced against etc to be legal...why would that be, why would that piece of paper be so important if didn't have meaning...

...we live in times unlike 'back in the day' when marriage isn't necessary to relationships, to an 'acceptance in society' and that's a great thing but it doesn't take away from the meaningfulness of it for those who it has meaning to....not all marriages last, not all relationships last, there are no forever guarantees and never were or never can be but in a way, I think it's more meaningful now because we have so many choices, because society doesn't judge so much and there is more support..(I know it's not what it should be/the support..)...but people don't have to feel so much that they have to stay in abusive marriages etc, and I think that was something that happened in many cases 'back in the day'...or have to stay 'for the sake of the children' etc....


..so yeah, I think the meaning of marriage is very much there...

:clap1::clap1::clap1: Yet another brilliant post Ammi.

[rubymoo]

I was with my husband for 11 years before i got married to him, this sounds daft but when the children came along i didn't want a different name to them, so it was a case of i want the same name as my girls we're getting married:laugh: (there was no down on one knee!)

We're now coming up to our 13th wedding anniversary, and in those 13 years it's been a mixture of good times and bad, there have been times when i could've easily walked away, but i didn't. Marriage requires commitment and common goals, it also requires sacrifice and selflessness on both parts, and on my journey it's required acceptance of who you and your partner are, as you aren't the same people from when you first met. All i know is that my husband has seen me at my best and my worst as i have him and yet we're still together, he has eyes only for me as i have him that's why we're still together, we enjoy time doing our own thing, yet also stuff together (this is important as when you truly start to neglect time together the marriage will suffer, this has happened, i identified it and we sorted it out:hee:) Through the times that were difficult to the pointing of breaking us we came through it stronger, and i must admit we've become closer again as the girls have gotten older, it's natural for a woman to be absorbed with her children when they're little, everything suffers as a result some men may stray but my hubby didn't he stayed right with me, by my side.

And the time i didn't have for my husband when the girls were little i am getting back with him now, he never gave up on our marriage, and neither did i, so many give up when the going gets tough, if i did that we'd have split so many times, i can say that my husband is my best friend, my lover, my rock and i'm truly thankful that we never gave up:hee:

[Niamh.]

Congrats Vicky, how exciting :)

Marriage doesn't suit everyone and not everyone's love lasts forever. I'm happily married so I'm certainly not going to agree with someone like Adam.

This.

[arista]

Depends on the people I guess.


Church?

[Niamh.]

Church?

eh?

[Alf]

This I tell you Brother, you can't have one without the other.

[user104658]

Bleeeuuurrrgh who would want to get married?

[Niamh.]

Bleeeuuurrrgh who would want to get married?

Mrs Soldier is going to kick your ass :nono:

[arista]

eh?


In Your Nation the Church Rules


So I wonder if you mean Church people


There Is No God , of course

[arista]

Bleeeuuurrrgh who would want to get married?


Local Church
Demand you to do that



Utter Fact

[Niamh.]

In Your Nation the Church Rules


So I wonder if you mean Church people


There Is No God , of course

The Church doesn't rule in my nation anymore Arista and no I wasn't referring to church people. I'm married and not in the slightest bit religious, I don't see marriage as a religious thing

[Ross.]

Mrs Soldier is going to kick your ass :nono:

:joker:

[Crimson Dynamo]

Latest statistics (published December 2012) estimate that 42% of marriages in England and Wales end in divorce. It is also estimated that: 34% of marriages are expected to end in divorce by the 20th wedding.

Divorce has decreased over the years.

http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/resources/divorcechart3_tcm77-305173.png

:bawling:

[arista]

The Church doesn't rule in my nation anymore Arista and no I wasn't referring to church people. I'm married and not in the slightest bit religious, I don't see marriage as a religious thing


Thats Very Nice To Hear
Fine lady


Please Excuse My Attack

[Marsh.]

I don't think most people need a piece of paper to show how much they love each other anymore

And I say that as someone who is getting married in 2 months:joker:

I take it my invite is in the post. :nono:

[Marsh.]

Please Excuse My Attack

:suspect:

[Marsh.]

Local Church
Demand you to do that



Utter Fact

What are you on about? :shrug:

[arista]

What are you on about? :shrug:


Many Church Zones
enforce Marriage

Saying it Sin to live together
without the Church Marriage etc.

Its That Simple Marsh

[Marsh.]

Many Church Zones
enforce Marriage

Saying it Sin to live together
without the Church Marriage etc.

Its That Simple Marsh

They say it's a sin to do lots of things. None of that is an example of "enforcing" anything.

It's that simple Arista.

[arista]

:suspect:


Yes see I want All church buildings
made into Discos
and Gay Discos


Much better use for them,


Feel The Force

[Marsh.]

Yes see I want All church buildings
made into Discos
and Gay Discos


Much better use for them,


Feel The Force

Make that gay prisons and I'm on board.

[arista]

They say it's a sin to do lots of things. None of that is an example of "enforcing" anything.

It's that simple Arista.


Depends on the Zone you live in.


Life In The City

[Marsh.]

Depends on the Zone you live in.


Life In The City

Which zone are you talking about?

[arista]

Make that gay prisons and I'm on board.


No Old prisons are Massive Land.

New Homes for All.

[arista]

Which zone are you talking about?


Some places in the UK.


I can not name them
as they will get Angry