Are you gay because you are different or different because you are gay?

[UserSince2005]

So ive been wondering.

I remember thinking I was fundamentally different from my peers way before I ever thought I was gay.

I think a lot of gays felt this way from a young age.

Whether it be not liking football.
Not having the same voice.
Not being able to make friends.
Being fat.
Being socially Awkward.
....

So do you think not ever feeling like a normal child led you to feel homoeroctic thoughts, or do you were always different because you were always gay.

[caprimint]

Cus this thread is gonna go down really well

[UserSince2005]

Cus this thread is gonna go down really well

Why wouldnt it?

[Northern Monkey]

I'm straight and need to mind my own business but the voice thing you bring up is quite interesting.I made a thread about that a while back on whether it is like a genetic characteristic of many gays or something that is adopted later on.

[UserSince2005]

I'm straight and need to mind my own business but the voice thing you bring up is quite interesting.I made a thread about that a while back on whether it is like a genetic characteristic of many gays or something that is adopted later on.

I think if you have a feminine voice and get teased throughout your childhood about being gay. there only a certain amount of time you can hear it before you believe it. especially at such an impressionable age.

[Northern Monkey]

I think if you have a feminine voice and get teased throughout your childhood about being gay. there only a certain amount of time you can hear it before you believe it. especially at such an impressionable age.

So that would fit into the 'Gay because i'm different' category then?

[UserSince2005]

So that would fit into the 'Gay because i'm different' category then?

I guess,but then they could have always been gay just a coincidence

like you find straight guys with girly voices.

[Withano]

I think you're trying too hard to simplify it

[Smithy]

I think if you have a feminine voice and get teased throughout your childhood about being gay. there only a certain amount of time you can hear it before you believe it. especially at such an impressionable age.

I don't think you can be convinced you're gay, you're either born gay or not :shrug:

[arista]

Are you Getting Professional help
USER of many names 2005

[Jamie89]

I don't think you can be convinced you're gay, you're either born gay or not :shrug:

Exactly, if you could be convinced into taking on a sexuality then something like conversion therapy wouldn't be so ridiculous and dangerous

[arista]

I don't think you can be convinced you're gay, you're either born gay or not :shrug:


Yes Smithy
like another fella near you may get you a Hard On

So very Easy to find out


Life In The Fast Lane

[Smithy]

Yes Smithy
like another fella near you may get you a Hard On

So very Easy to find out


Life In The Fast Lane

what

[Cal.]

I wasn't born a straight woman so I had to become a gay manhttp://cdn.thisisbigbrother.com/customavatars/avatar91218_172.gif

[arista]

what


Like "you said" you are Born Gay



Feel The Force

[UserSince2005]

When the gay gene is found i will believe its as simple as we are born gay.

[arista]

When the gay gene is found i will believe its as simple as we are born gay.

Are you getting professional Help?

[UserSince2005]

Are you getting professional Help?

For what purpose?

[arista]

For what purpose?

To sort out your life

[UserSince2005]

To sort out your life

babe why dont you just tell me if you have all this wisdom you portray.

[Pete.]

I'm confused a bit with the OP so I'm going to say I'm straight and move on

[Firewire]

I knew I was different before I knew I was gay

I'm not sure if they are connected

[UserSince2005]

I knew I was different before I knew I was gay

I'm not sure if they are connected

Exactly, I think all gay epople had a sense that they were different before they even considered that they were gay.

[jaxie]

Is being gay really different? People have been gay and straight all through history. Isn't it time we just accepted that as the norm?

[Jordan.]

I never felt different growing up

[BBUKAUSFAN]

stereotyping being "Gay" as your different is really outdated.

[Jamie89]

Exactly, I think all gay epople had a sense that they were different before they even considered that they were gay.

Isn't that true of most people though? Feeling different in some way is something most people feel at some point, it's just part of growing up and discovering yourself etc. And sure, discovering your sexuality fits into that, but I don't think that it's something that's exclusive to sexuality.

[Livia]

I'm straight. The poll says I need to mind my own business... but standing on the outside looking in...

My best friends are a gay couple. They got married this year in a wonderful, quite normal and traditional ceremony. They have good jobs and lots of friends from a variety of backgrounds. They pay their bills, put their bins out, have little domestic arguments just like a hetero couple. They are not defined by the fact that they're gay, that's only one thing that defines them. I don't know many people more achingly "normal" than them and it's been the same with all my gay and lesbian friends. I don't see them as any different and I don't think they really see themselves as different.

[arista]

I never felt different growing up

How Nice

[Crimson Dynamo]

there is no evidence you are born gay as far as I am aware?

[UserSince2005]

I never felt different growing up

That is nice, but you must have a lack of awareness for the world around you.

Gays are only around 2% of the world.

We get discriminated against on a daily basis.

We are different to our straight counterparts.

We need to stand up and be proud.

[UserSince2005]

there is no evidence you are born gay as far as I am aware?

I havent seen any either.

For me I didnt like football growing up.

That was a sign to my peers that I was gay.

That shaped my impressionable mind, and I was more open to exploring my sexuality.

I dont know whether I was born gay. But I do know that I have always been different from the norm.

[UserSince2005]

I'm straight. The poll says I need to mind my own business... but standing on the outside looking in...

My best friends are a gay couple. They got married this year in a wonderful, quite normal and traditional ceremony. They have good jobs and lots of friends from a variety of backgrounds. They pay their bills, put their bins out, have little domestic arguments just like a hetero couple. They are not defined by the fact that they're gay, that's only one thing that defines them. I don't know many people more achingly "normal" than them and it's been the same with all my gay and lesbian friends. I don't see them as any different and I don't think they really see themselves as different.

As a straight person it very hard for you to be able to understand what its like to be gay.

To grow up with the deep shame that you are different from you peers and then to realise that the difference is that you are attracted to the same sex and how that is looked down upon. It is quite the traumatic experience for a young child's mind.

The fact that they seem so normal is maybe them compensating for the fact they feel so different?

A lot of gay people long to be seen as normal people in their adulthood because they were subject to so much shame in their childhood.

[Crimson Dynamo]

I havent seen any either.

For me I didnt like football growing up.

That was a sign to my peers that I was gay.

That shaped my impressionable mind, and I was more open to exploring my sexuality.

I dont know whether I was born gay. But I do know that I have always been different from the norm.

Didnt like football :suspect:

what kind of fresh hell is this?

[Livia]

As a straight person it very hard for you to be able to understand what its like to be gay.

To grow up with the deep shame that you are different from you peers and then to realise that the difference is that you are attracted to the same sex and how that is looked down upon. It is quite the traumatic experience for a young child's mind.

The fact that they seem so normal is maybe them compensating for the fact they feel so different?

A lot of gay people long to be seen as normal people in their adulthood because they were subject to so much shame in their childhood.

My friends don't suffer from being gay, it's who they are.

This isn't going to be popular but... some gay people enjoy the drama of being "different" when really, you're not. If family and friends weren't supportive of you as a child that's really sad, but you don't have to carry that with you forever. I was a skinny Jew at school, bookish and quiet and bullied mercilessly. Being different made me who I am. I'm sure it's the same for everyone, whoever you love, whoever you are.

[Jamie89]

My friends don't suffer from being gay, it's who they are.

This isn't going to be popular but... some gay people enjoy the drama of being "different" when really, you're not. If family and friends weren't supportive of you as a child that's really sad, but you don't have to carry that with you forever. I was a skinny Jew at school, bookish and quiet and bullied mercilessly. Being different made me who I am. I'm sure it's the same for everyone, whoever you love, whoever you are.

No I kind of agree with this, for me personally I went through a hard-ish time when I realised I was gay but it was brief and any 'shame' I felt I'd put on myself, it didn't come from other people. I think I pretended to myself that my parents would be ashamed but again it was brief and once I accepted it myself I actually really started to like that I was gay, and when I came out there was no problems with anyone (my parents included which shows that any negative feelings I might have had were down to me) so I don't feel any ongoing need to 'compensate' for anything, or that anyone has made me feel like I'm different for being gay. I realise I'm lucky and it's not the same experience for everyone but I do think that for most people, it's just a case that you go through something, deal with it, and then you get on with life. Maybe if people have had bad experiences then it can lead to ongoing problems in future life and become something they can't properly deal with, but that's just an individual thing, not something that's simply down to whether someone's gay or not and could be true of any issue a person goes through.

[Jamie89]

In all honesty some of the comments are bordering on classifying homosexuality as a disability :/

[ArgyESC]

I had already had a feeling I was different before I realised I was gay, but as far as I'm concerned, the poll is not about this.

[Crimson Dynamo]

people with addictions often say they always felt different to other people

[Marsh.]

Are you Getting Professional help
USER of many names 2005

:joker: :joker: :joker:

[thesheriff443]

Life is what you make it, gay or straight, suck it up and do the best you can with what you have been given.

[ArgyESC]

people with addictions often say they always felt different to other people

:suspect:

[UserSince2005]

I guess ive just struggled with being gay a lot because im so masculine and i have to tell everyone about the fact im gay and they dont believe me :sad:

[empire]

alot of women especially seem to throw alot of really silly, and I mean really silly stereotypes in what a straight guy should be like or what a gay guy should be like, the most funny thing is that there are a large number of gay footballers in the country, and most of them are not open in public about it, and yes even in the F1 races there are a few gay men who drive racing cars, but both sports don't fit there stereotypes, todays straight men are alot more less masculine and seem a bit more feminine in 2016, I took the pi'' out of my mate for wearing a fragrance that had a smell of women's purfume, and I said to him, you paid 50 pound to smell like ariana grande's knickers, its a funny world these days.

[UserSince2005]

alot of women especially seem to throw alot of really silly, and I mean really silly stereotypes in what a straight guy should be like or what a gay guy should be like, the most funny thing is that there are a large number of gay footballers in the country, and most of them are not open in public about it, and yes even in the F1 races there are a few gay men who drive racing cars, but both sports don't fit there stereotypes, todays straight men are alot more less masculine and seem a bit more feminine in 2016, I took the pi'' out of my mate for wearing a fragrance that had a smell of women's purfume, and I said to him, you paid 50 pound to smell like ariana grande's knickers, its a funny world these days.

yeah no wonder all these new gays on here never felt any different from their peers with how men act nowadays.

[Marsh.]

people with addictions often say they always felt different to other people

People with addictions are often insanely selfish and narcissistic so it doesn't surprise me that they would want to feel like they're different. They're the centre of their own universe.

[Marsh.]

there is no evidence you are born gay as far as I am aware?

There's no evidence it's something you develop later either?

[Crimson Dynamo]

People with addictions are often insanely selfish and narcissistic so it doesn't surprise me that they would want to feel like they're different. They're the centre of their own universe.

Ex-Mrs LT spilt tea

[Marsh.]

Ex-Mrs LT spilt tea

Ex-Marsh dad split bag of coke tea too.

[Kizzy]

Define 'different'.

[Gstar]

I wasn't born a straight woman so I had to become a gay manhttp://cdn.thisisbigbrother.com/customavatars/avatar91218_172.gif

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