Sheltering children from unhappiness

[Josy]

Do you think children should be sheltered from unhappiness or do you believe everyone needs to be taught how to deal with heartbreak and unhappiness?

[Brillopad]

Do you think children should be sheltered from unhappiness or do you believe everyone needs to be taught how to deal with heartbreak and unhappiness?

A hard one. I think perhaps they should be sheltered for as long as possible but when the time is right, whatever that may be, they should be prepared to help them learn to cope with life and all its ups and downs.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Do you think children should be sheltered from unhappiness or do you believe everyone needs to be taught how to deal with heartbreak and unhappiness?

what type of unhappiness?

the death of a relative

a sad episode of peppa pig

an argument

Eastenders

etc

[Josy]

what type of unhappiness?

the death of a relative

a sad episode of peppa pig

an argument

Eastenders

etc
Any and all

[Crimson Dynamo]

No, children need the truth

[Cal.]

Yeah they should. You learn about all that and how to deal with it in your teens.

[Josy]

A hard one. I think perhaps they should be sheltered for as long as possible but when the time is right, whatever that may be, they should be prepared to help them learn to cope with life and all its ups and downs.
Yeah I think the same way really but then I think we also have built in coping mechanisms in us too and that knowing how to deal with certain things even for a first time sort of comes naturally for most.

[Northern Monkey]

The truth i think is that it is impossible to shelter children from unhappiness.What seems like a trivial issue to an adult can be almost the end of the world to a kid:laugh:
So they are actually experiencing unhappiness with their own little problems all the time.
Then you have the more heartbreaking things they experience as the grow older:The death of a cat,dog,rabbit or hamster,The death of a grandparent etc.It is unrealistic and impossible.

[Crimson Dynamo]

You cant not tell them their granny died or their cat and lying to them that they have gone to heaven is worse than not telling them.

You do have to watch about things like terrorism but you tell them and explain the deal and that is how they learn. I think a lot of "sheltering" is avoidance tbh

One great way to deal with it is AYM

[Brillopad]

Yeah I think the same way really but then I think we also have built in coping mechanisms in us too and that knowing how to deal with certain things even for a first time sort of comes naturally for most.

Yes, I think how we deal with things is partly inherited from our parents and partly from our general environment.

I think genes are pretty powerful though, the amount of people I have heard say with horror that they are turning into their mother/father, including me, is quite scary if you think your parents don't react in a way you want them to.

[Ashley.]

The latter. I'm not too keen on the "Buster went to the special dog farm..." explanation, for example...

[user104658]

I don't think they really have the same sorts of concepts of it anyway, so you can't really shelter or not.

When my mum died, my eldest (aged 4 at the time) came to the funeral with us... and when the coffin was sitting in the crematorium... she asked "if she could help push it in" :joker: :umm2:. On the other hand, this morning she was utterly devastated (genuinely sobbing) because she dropped her fried egg :think:.

[jaxie]

I think children deserve as much happiness as you can give them but you can't always shelter them from life and you owe it to them to be honest with them.

I remember when my grandmother who I was close to died I was about 4 years old and it was hidden from me. But I noticed things and asked where she was. One of my cousins told me she died and I would have rather been told by my parents.

[thesheriff443]

Some children and some adults don't cope with unhappiness and end up killing themselves, some don't get the chance to be sheltered from unhappiness

[Cherie]

Children are mainly very resilient, I wouldn't sit a 4 year old down to watch the news or a horror movie or something plainly meant for adults, but if the cat died I would tell them in a way that they would accept and understand without frightening them

[thesheriff443]

Children are mainly very resilient, I wouldn't sit a 4 year old down to watch the news or a horror movie or something plainly meant for adults, but if the cat died I would tell them in a way that they would accept and understand without frightening them

What like cherie ,bad news the cats dead good news we got cat for dinner:hee:

[Withano]

Show them The Lion King when theyre 4 or 5, and let them grow up to be miserable and cynical like the rest of us in their own time

[Ashley.]

Show them The Lion King when theyre 4 or 5, and let them grow up to be miserable and cynical like the rest of us in their own time

Now that's the circle of life.

[Withano]

Now that's the circle of life.

Ouch :joker: maybe i need to rewatch it, that cut deep

[Cherie]

What like cherie ,bad news the cats dead good news we got cat for dinner:hee:

Cat pie always a firm favourite in our house

[jaxie]

Cat pie always a firm favourite in our house

:fist:

[Marsh.]

That's impossible. Nobody can live in a bubble, you have to deal with unhappiness no matter your stage of life.

But where their childhood and innocence can be protected, it should be.

[jennyjuniper]

This is a difficult one, but I think children, say over the age of five, need preparing for the harsh realities that they are going to face in later life. If you have to tell them something horrid, like grandad has died, then talk about the natural cycle of life to help them understand about birth, life and death.

[Livia]

I don't have kids... but I'd say, be honest, but don't be brutal.

[arista]

Do you think children should be sheltered from unhappiness or do you believe everyone needs to be taught how to deal with heartbreak and unhappiness?


Josy --- Give a Example ,Please
I assume you are talking UK?

[arista]

That's impossible. Nobody can live in a bubble, you have to deal with unhappiness no matter your stage of life.

But where their childhood and innocence can be protected, it should be.


Feck me Marsh --- they do
I was buying my FT.
Rich Mum in AsdaWalmart?????

I said Excuse me - there was a Rich child
stopping me get my FT, he had both arms out
holding on to the Plastic. (I assume he was 8 or 10)
I was not happy.
He moved.
Got my FT.

Then to buy the Exclusive Italian Import Orange Drink
the other lad blocked that
the mother was near them...
So this time I said "EXCUSE ME"


Rich mum looked at me
I looked her in her Eyes.
She then said one word only "Boys"
then the other posh son moved out of the way.
I could buy my Italian Import Orange Drink.
all was good in the World,



So MARSH
folks are in a bubble - and IN MY WAY

[Josy]

Josy --- Give a Example ,Please
I assume you are talking UK?
No example needed it's a debate thread about the statement in the first post.

Geography doesn't come into it.

[Cherie]

Feck me Marsh --- they do
I was buying my FT.
Rich Mum in AsdaWalmart?????

I said Excuse me - there was a Rich child
stopping me get my FT, he had both arms out
holding on to the Plastic. (I assume he was 8 or 10)
I was not happy.
He moved.
Got my FT.

Then to buy the Exclusive Italian Import Orange Drink
the other lad blocked that
the mother was near them...
So this time I said "EXCUSE ME"


Rich mum looked at me
I looked her in her Eyes.
She then sais one word only "Boys"
then the other posh son moved out of the way.
I could buy my Italian Import Orange Drink.
all was good in the World,



So MARSH
folks are in a bubble - and IN MY WAY

:joker:

[Marsh.]

Feck me Marsh --- they do
I was buying my FT.
Rich Mum in AsdaWalmart?????

I said Excuse me - there was a Rich child
stopping me get my FT, he had both arms out
holding on to the Plastic. (I assume he was 8 or 10)
I was not happy.
He moved.
Got my FT.

Then to buy the Exclusive Italian Import Orange Drink
the other lad blocked that
the mother was near them...
So this time I said "EXCUSE ME"


Rich mum looked at me
I looked her in her Eyes.
She then sais one word only "Boys"
then the other posh son moved out of the way.
I could buy my Italian Import Orange Drink.
all was good in the World,



So MARSH
folks are in a bubble - and IN MY WAY

Yes, a selfish bubble where they're the centre of the universe.

But a bubble where they're unable to experience unhappiness or sadness, NO ARISTA. Address the topic of the thread please. :nono:

[Cherie]

Yes, a selfish bubble where they're the centre of the universe.

But a bubble where they're unable to experience unhappiness or sadness, NO ARISTA. Address the topic of the thread please. :nono:

Stop bullying Arista you brute I enjoy his shopping expeditions

[arista]

Cherie He can Not Bully me.

[Cherie]

Cherie He can Not Bully me.

True, but he must show respect

[arista]

Children should go to Work.

[Marsh.]

Cherie He can Not Bully me.

:joker:

[Marsh.]

Children should go to Work.

I love Chinese sweatshops.

[arista]

I love Chinese sweatshops.


No Marsh
I am talking about the UK
Children can WORK LEGALLY

[Marsh.]

No Marsh
I am talking about the UK
Children can WORK LEGALLY

They have school to go to. :nono:

[arista]

They have school to go to. :nono:


Of Course.

[Kizzy]

Children are mainly very resilient, I wouldn't sit a 4 year old down to watch the news or a horror movie or something plainly meant for adults, but if the cat died I would tell them in a way that they would accept and understand without frightening them

I agree Cherie, I'd say it's how children are taught to deal with difficult emotional trauma that determines how they will cope in the future.