Urghh what would you do?

[Amy Jade]

To cut a long story short the lady who lives directly oposite us has dementia, she has carers in every day and her daughter comes a few times a week I just went outside to put the bins on the drive (mum and dad are away) and she's in her front garden with her dog in her garden and she just pulled a cane thing out of a flower pot and hit the dog with it, it sort of yelped and cowered and she shouted get in and it ran inside.

I was so upset when I saw it but idk what to do, my friend said ring the rspca tomorrow but I don't know if it's best to just ask my mum to talk to her daughter :worry:

[Cal.]

You should tell your mum to speak to her daughter.

The dog could be getting abused because of her dementia and that would be awful.

[Amy Jade]

You should tell your mum to speak to her daughter.

The dog could be getting abused because of her dementia and that would be awful.

That's what I'm scared of, it could be a one time thing - I've seen her with the dog a lot and it doesn't look abused but she did hit it quite hard, I heard the swing if that makes sense :(

[jaxie]

That's what I'm scared of, it could be a one time thing - I've seen her with the dog a lot and it doesn't look abused but she did hit it quite hard, I heard the swing if that makes sense :(

I'd call the RSPCA to get the dog checked out properly first thing in the morning. No animal should be hit with a stick.

[Jamie89]

I would definitely call someone, if she's being left unattended with the dog when she's not fit to look after it then it's not right. The dog is clearly stressing the poor woman too, even though she may love it, she clearly can't handle it and it is not safe for the dog. :(

Yeah I agree with this, I'm sure she wouldn't mean to be cruel to the dog and she'd probably want it to be safe and unharmed if she was aware herself of what she was doing.

[user104658]

They won't take it away based on one report of one thing... I'd call them and be clear about the situation. They can tell if an animal is being abused... even if it doesn't show physical signs of harm it will be nervous and anxious.

It's very possible that it's down to her dementia... so I would tell her family too because it's possible that she's at the point of needing day-round supervision if her behaviour is changing.

Either way, it's not really OK for a pet's wellbeing to be put at risk because of an owner's illness. It happens all too often even in simple ways, e.g. an owner suffering a long-term physical injury and dogs not getting proper exercise as a result. No one's "fault" really but the animal's health still has to be considered.

[Northern Monkey]

Yeah i'd say if she can't look after herself Properly then she more than likely can't look after a pet aswell.

[Niamh.]

Yeah i'd say if she can't look after herself Properly then she more than likely can't look after a pet aswell.

yeah, it's very sad, the dog is probably company for her but it's not fair on the animal really. I would probably talk to the daughter first though if she's a reasonable/approachable person

[Cherie]

Get your Mum to approach the daughter first, it's a tricky situation as the daughter may be under alot of stress and trying to keep her Mum "at home", and may not want to engage about this, but you need to do something for your own peace of mind, is the dog elderly, is it exercised, you could maybe offer to walk the dog (if you have time) and build a picture of how the dog is treated generally as well, you will know if the dog is nervy or jumpy around the owner.

[Livia]

What Niamh and Cherie said.

[user104658]

I would add though be wary of getting a less than pleasant response as it's likely that the family is already under strain and people can react badly to well-meaning intentions when under that sort of stress. Approach it gently but also try to be understanding if you get a less than polite reply... it will just be coming from a bad place.

[Niamh.]

I would add though be wary of getting a less than pleasant response as it's likely that the family is already under strain and people can react badly to well-meaning intentions when under that sort of stress. Approach it gently but also try to be understanding if you get a less than polite reply... it will just be coming from a bad place.

Yeah, you're right but it's the decent thing to do to tell her family first I think, give a chance to do something about it without embarrassing the old lady

[user104658]

Yeah, you're right but it's the decent thing to do to tell her family first I think, give a chance to do something about it without embarrassing the old lady

Probably. I may have let my own experiences with politely confronting neighbours influence this one :joker:. It's obviously a very different sort of situation.

[Niamh.]

Probably. I may have let my own experiences with politely confronting neighbours influence this one :joker:. It's obviously a very different sort of situation.

Well they may not take it well at all but atleast Amy/Amys mom will have given them the opportunity to do the right thing before calling the RSPCA on them, that'll be their own fault then

[jaxie]

The RSPCA don't break down the door and stream in guns blazing. They would make a tactful call, maybe even say they were in the area. If you approach them yourself it probably won't be taken that well which could escalate into bad feeling if you end up calling the RSPCA later and you have to live there. I would let them deal with it, it's something they are trained to do and do every day.

[Niamh.]

The RSPCA don't break down the door and stream in guns blazing. They would make a tactful call, maybe even say they were in the area. If you approach them yourself it probably won't be taken that well which could escalate into bad feeling if you end up calling the RSPCA later and you have to live there. I would let them deal with it, it's something they are trained to do and do every day.

I was just putting myself in their position, if it were a relative of mine, I would much rather be approached by my neighbour first :shrug:

[user104658]

The RSPCA don't break down the door and stream in guns blazing. They would make a tactful call, maybe even say they were in the area. If you approach them yourself it probably won't be taken that well which could escalate into bad feeling if you end up calling the RSPCA later and you have to live there. I would let them deal with it, it's something they are trained to do and do every day.

Well that was sort of my thinking. The RSPCS aren't going to storm in and take the dog away... in fact I would imagine they sadlt will have a vast amount of experience with pets being in worsening situations when it comes to the elderly and dementia. They will almost certainly have a lot of advice to offer the family in finding solutions that work for everyone without the dog having to be taken away.

It's a tough one I guess. But I can pretty much guarantee that the RSPCA will approach the situation gently and respectfully if it's explained to them well.

[user104658]

I was just putting myself in their position, if it were a relative of mine, I would much rather be approached by my neighbour first :shrug:

I agree with that too. I'm are very confused on this one. I think approaching the family first would be the best thing for the family... but on the other hand, I think going straight down the RSPCA route would most likely result in the best outcome for the dog (by allowing them to get a look at the situation "raw", as it were, rather than the family taking action that makes it LOOK much better when in reality there are still problems).

I guess if you were to make a direct comparison to suspected child abuse... if you see it you should ALWAYS contact the authorities before alerting the family to the fact that you've seen bad things happening. If you let them know then it's much more likely to have been given a "fresh coat of gloss" by the time anyone gets there. Once aware, people will dress up a bad situation where they are struggling to make it seem like it's less of a problem than it is...

[Niamh.]

I agree with that too. I'm are very confused on this one. I think approaching the family first would be the best thing for the family... but on the other hand, I think going straight down the RSPCA route would most likely result in the best outcome for the dog (by allowing them to get a look at the situation "raw", as it were, rather than the family taking action that makes it LOOK much better when in reality there are still problems).

I guess if you were to make a direct comparison to suspected child abuse... if you see it you should ALWAYS contact the authorities before alerting the family to the fact that you've seen bad things happening. If you let them know then it's much more likely to have been given a "fresh coat of gloss" by the time anyone gets there. Once aware, people will dress up a bad situation where they are struggling to make it seem like it's less of a problem than it is...

hhhmmm I suppose you have a point but I think in this case I'm more of a people person (as much as i love animals) and I feel most sorry for the old lady in the situation and her family too, it's such a sad and horrible condition, dementia

[Amy Jade]

I mentioned this to my mum and she doesn't want me approaching the daughter because apparently she's quite nasty and she's had a go at other people for even asking about the old lady. She said ring my auntie whos also a home career and she'll speak to the lady who goes to her house every day and she could mention it to the daughter?

I'm off work and college today so im keeping an eye out for her letting the dog out. I feel like a nosy neighbour but I don't want to see the dog hurt :(

[Niamh.]

I mentioned this to my mum and she doesn't want me approaching the daughter because apparently she's quite nasty and she's had a go at other people for even asking about the old lady. She said ring my auntie whos also a home career and she'll speak to the lady who goes to her house every day and she could mention it to the daughter?

I'm off work and college today so im keeping an eye out for her letting the dog out. I feel like a nosy neighbour but I don't want to see the dog hurt :(

Oh well, there's your answer then, contact the RSPCA

[arista]

I was just putting myself in their position, if it were a relative of mine, I would much rather be approached by my neighbour first :shrug:


Yes the first Step,

[jennyjuniper]

I would call the RSPCA and explain the situation. That the lady has dementia etc., that way they should know to approach the situation in a more 'delicate' way.

[Dollface]

I can tell you the rspca wont do anything, they're useless. My nans neighbour beat the **** out of his dog on a regular basis, which made my nans last months terrible as she loves dogs, so to hear one yelping and being thrown around a room was beyond upsetting. His excuse was that the dog peed on the floor and needed punishing, yep he openly admitted hurting the dog. Rspca came many times but always said the same thing .. that they couldn't do anything because "the dog has food and shelter"

[Kizzy]

I'd say it was the carer that needed to know initially, it may be a sign her condition is deteriorating. Not a good situation for her or the dog to be left alone for too long.