Vulnerability

[DemolitionRed]

Do you understand emotional vulnerability and if so, is it a good thing or a bad thing?

[user104658]

Do you understand emotional vulnerability and if so, is it a good thing or a bad thing?

:suspect: Is this thread covertly about that-which-must-not-be-named?

[Tozzie]

Do you understand emotional vulnerability and if so, is it a good thing or a bad thing?

I think its a bad thing because an emotional vulnerable person is usually a person controlled by another. Well thats my idea of it anyway :shrug:

[DemolitionRed]

:suspect: Is this thread covertly about that-which-must-not-be-named?

This came from a discussion I had with a friend today. It could be about anything that makes you feel emotionally vulnerable and how you choose to handle that vulnerability.

[waterhog]

if you are emotionally venerable it will effect your decision making - therefore you could come to harm.

[user104658]

It depends on what you mean by emotionally vulnerable to be honest. If you mean being emotionally fragile, then it is obviously a bad thing. If you mean offering up emotional vulnerability as opposed to being "stoic" / un-emotional / closed off... then being able to be emotionally open is always going to be preferable.

A strong person is a person who feels, who admits that they feel. Who can experience the whole range of human emotion without it breaking them. There's a skewed perception that it's better to be "emotionally tough", but to me, that simply means having walls up to defend oneself against negative emotion... and that isn't strong at all. If anything, it's cowardly.

[smudgie]

I face up to it.
Give in to it and embrace it at times.

[DemolitionRed]

It depends on what you mean by emotionally vulnerable to be honest. If you mean being emotionally fragile, then it is obviously a bad thing. If you mean offering up emotional vulnerability as opposed to being "stoic" / un-emotional / closed off... then being able to be emotionally open is always going to be preferable.

A strong person is a person who feels, who vulnerable that they feel. Who can experience the whole range of human emotion without it breaking them. There's a skewed perception that it's better to be "emotionally tough", but to me, that simply means having walls up to defend oneself against negative emotion... and that isn't strong at all. If anything, it's cowardly.

Some really good points TS

An example of your second paragraph could be declaring your love to someone without knowing how receptive they will be to those words or asking someone you really like out for the first time, knowing you could be rejected.
If we truly want to be connected, we sometimes have to be emotionally vulnerable.

[DemolitionRed]

I face up to it.
Give in to it and embrace it at times.

I believe that to be very healthy smudgie. It means you don't fear your own emotions.

[user104658]

Some really good points TS

An example of your second paragraph could be declaring your love to someone without knowing how receptive they will be to those words or asking someone you really like out for the first time, knowing you could be rejected.
If we truly want to be connected, we sometimes have to be emotionally vulnerable.

:worry: I'm sorry DR but I'm happily married...

In seriousness though I do agree with this, not just or even especially in a romantic sense, but just in terms of general human connection. People are so (for want of a better word) "shy" about showing appreciation for each other, and it's sort of a shame, but you're left with the conundrum of... do I take time to let someone know that I think they're awesome, no agenda, just 'cause? It might make their day... or it might seem weird... or it might give them the wrong idea. So many considerations. People should just be able to be more open :fist:

[Cherie]

I doubt anyone goes through life without feeling vulnerable at some point either through bereavement, divorce, bullying, moving home whatever it's an emotion everyone has to face at some point I think unless you are a sociopath/psychopath

[Crimson Dynamo]

This nonsense never won a war

[Northern Monkey]

Everyone has their vulnerabilities.It's how we handle them that's important.I think it's harder for men to talk about them and let them out.We have to look tough like nothing phases us so our family feel secure.I never like to show my misses and kids my vulnerable side cos i don't want them to think I'm a pussy:laugh:

[ebandit]

can't compute...can't compute........emotional vulnerability? ....

....such puzzling words....................

Mark L

[Withano]

Emotions are for the weak

[Vicky.]

I don't really understand the question if I am honest...

Though I don't seem to experience emotions fullstop except if its something to do with the kids :/ I don't feel guilt, empathy, nothing. Always thought this was pretty normal until my counsilor person told me it wasn't a few years back. Been relatively 'numb' for as long as I can remember and the only stirrings of emotion have always been about the kids, I feel guilty if they fall over, I get upset if they are upset...and so on.

So I expect..my answer is the second one?

[arista]

This came from a discussion I had with a friend today. It could be about anything that makes you feel emotionally vulnerable and how you choose to handle that vulnerability.


Tell them to Buck UP

[arista]

Emotions are for the weak


Yes in WW3,
they get Fast 3 weeks trained,
and with Fast Military Gun Firing Robots
on 4 legs , will go Front Line

[DemolitionRed]

:worry: I'm sorry DR but I'm happily married...

In seriousness though I do agree with this, not just or even especially in a romantic sense, but just in terms of general human connection. People are so (for want of a better word) "shy" about showing appreciation for each other, and it's sort of a shame, but you're left with the conundrum of... do I take time to let someone know that I think they're awesome, no agenda, just 'cause? It might make their day... or it might seem weird... or it might give them the wrong idea. So many considerations. People should just be able to be more open :fist:

Damn, and there was me looking for a strong healthy man like you!!

[Niamh.]

Everyone has their vulnerabilities.It's how we handle them that's important.I think it's harder for men to talk about them and let them out.We have to look tough like nothing phases us so our family feel secure.I never like to show my misses and kids my vulnerable side cos i don't want them to think I'm a pussy:laugh:

Shouldn't it be a team effort making the family feel secure though? You'd have to be a pretty feeble minded woman to solely rely on your husband for you families security :laugh:

[user104658]

Shouldn't it be a team effort making the family feel secure though? You'd have to be a pretty feeble minded woman to solely relay on your husband for you families security [emoji23]
I would have thought having a stoic / entirely unemotional partner would make the rest of the family feel pretty INsecure, if anything? I mean there's an obvious difference between showing open and genuine emotional range, and having a panic / breakdown.

If anything, repressing normal emotion in an effort to always "seem strong" is what's likely to LEAD to the latter.

[Niamh.]

I would have thought having a stoic / entirely unemotional partner would make the rest of the family feel pretty INsecure, if anything? I mean there's an obvious difference between showing open and genuine emotional range, and having a panic / breakdown.

If anything, repressing normal emotion in an effort to always "seem strong" is what's likely to LEAD to the latter.

Yeah absolutely agree. Sharing worries etc makes couples much stronger in my opinion and in my experience, which in turn makes the family more secure

[DemolitionRed]

I doubt anyone goes through life without feeling vulnerable at some point either through bereavement, divorce, bullying, moving home whatever it's an emotion everyone has to face at some point I think unless you are a sociopath/psychopath

I believe we are all predisposed to feel emotional vulnerability. Even sociopaths feel vulnerable at times but that's more to do with being caught out in a lie or not getting away with something.

Vulnerability = fear and fear helps us to escape, put right or face up to something.

Emotional bullying is usually subtle and more complex than your school yard stuff. it comes from a psychologically unhealthy place and its all about intimidating and isolating, but what about the person who stands up to a bully. They don't even have to be being bullied themselves but see a friend or co-worker being bullied.... They know what’s happening, they disagree with what is happening but don't speak out because they are afraid. Someone who can overcome that vulnerability and speak out, is surely a person who can conquer their own fears?

[DemolitionRed]

Everyone has their vulnerabilities.It's how we handle them that's important.I think it's harder for men to talk about them and let them out.We have to look tough like nothing phases us so our family feel secure.I never like to show my misses and kids my vulnerable side cos i don't want them to think I'm a pussy:laugh:

Actually I believe, at least when it comes to emotional vulnerability, men have to hide it better than women. Its normally a man who asks for the first dance, the first date and so on. Its more often the man who proposes to the woman and all those things come with a certain amount of vulnerability.

Men or woman who fear loss are more likely to numb down any chance of feeling emotionally vulnerable. The trouble with that is, when you hide your emotions, people, including your lover, don't get to know the real you, just the person you want them to know.

[DemolitionRed]

I would have thought having a stoic / entirely unemotional partner would make the rest of the family feel pretty INsecure, if anything? I mean there's an obvious difference between showing open and genuine emotional range, and having a panic / breakdown.

If anything, repressing normal emotion in an effort to always "seem strong" is what's likely to LEAD to the latter.

Totally agree :hee:

[user104658]

Actually I believe, at least when it comes to emotional vulnerability, men have to hide it better than women. Its normally a man who asks for the first dance, the first date and so on. Its more often the man who proposes to the woman and all those things come with a certain amount of vulnerability.

Men or woman who fear loss are more likely to numb down any chance of feeling emotionally vulnerable. The trouble with that is, when you hide your emotions, people, including your lover, don't get to know the real you, just the person you want them to know.
It is strange that this is still such a social norm, in the modern world of (overall) much more equality. The number of men in their late 20s or even 30s who have NEVER had a real relationship / possibly never had any relationship at all is quite staggering, if you look at anonymous sources like reddit (where people are more inclined to be honest about it, in realz most would just pretend they have experience). But it's relatively unusual for women to reach that age and never have had a partner / have been "pursued" by someone interested.

Me and my wife were musing over high school recently (before we knew each other) and the number of times I mentioned a situation and she was like "Err yeah she clearly LIKED you, you know..." and I'm like "Hmm? Really?" and then thinking about it it seems so obvious now... But as a teenage boy I had absolutely NO idea.

[DemolitionRed]

It is strange that this is still such a social norm, in the modern world of (overall) much more equality. The number of men in their late 20s or even 30s who have NEVER had a real relationship / possibly never had any relationship at all is quite staggering, if you look at anonymous sources like reddit (where people are more inclined to be honest about it, in realz most would just pretend they have experience). But it's relatively unusual for women to reach that age and never have had a partner / have been "pursued" by someone interested.

Me and my wife were musing over high school recently (before we knew each other) and the number of times I mentioned a situation and she was like "Err yeah she clearly LIKED you, you know..." and I'm like "Hmm? Really?" and then thinking about it it seems so obvious now... But as a teenage boy I had absolutely NO idea.

Then the question has to be asked: Are women more intuitive than men?

I was never in doubt of my admirers but then I always left it to them to do something about it. I would try and drop the odd clue that I fancied them too but it didn't always work and perhaps that's because those guys didn't pick up on those clues!

[user104658]

Then the question has to be asked: Are women more intuitive than men?

I was never in doubt of my admirers but then I always left it to them to do something about it. I would try and drop the odd clue that I fancied them too but it didn't always work and perhaps that's because those guys didn't pick up on those clues!
An interesting hypothesis there really. Is it that women expect men to make the first move, or DO women make the first move in ways that they assume are obvious... But aren't picked up? And then they think there's no returned interest when really it's more miscommunication than anything. Hmmm. Nothing proceeds until the man makes the more "obvious" move, so that's assumed to be the first move.

But then I guess in terms of what is actually going on for that person, it doesn't matter either way, they are still putting themselves out there just as much in THEIR mind, if any signals were missed.

No idea if that actually makes sense.

[Northern Monkey]

Shouldn't it be a team effort making the family feel secure though? You'd have to be a pretty feeble minded woman to solely rely on your husband for you families security :laugh:

Yeah obviously.I think it's just how a man thinks though.How we're wired.To feel like we have to protect our family and make sure they're safe.To appear strong so they feel safe.

[Niamh.]

Yeah obviously.I think it's just how a man thinks though.How we're wired.To feel like we have to protect our family and make sure they're safe.To appear strong so they feel safe.

You shouldn't feel like that though, I guarantee you your wife would feel more secure if you confided in her, your worries etc. Everybody worries sometimes

[user104658]

Yeah obviously.I think it's just how a man thinks though.How we're wired.To feel like we have to protect our family and make sure they're safe.To appear strong so they feel safe.
TiL I'm not a man :bawling:

[Northern Monkey]

Yeah absolutely agree. Sharing worries etc makes couples much stronger in my opinion and in my experience, which in turn makes the family more secureHowever i think though that it helps if your partner is worrying about something to be positive and atleast appear to be more relaxed so as not to add to their worries.If you start acting all worried too then it can make them worse.Same infront the kids.They pick up on your emotions.If they see you start panicking then they do too.

[Niamh.]

However i think though that it helps if your partner is worrying about something to be positive and atleast appear to be more relaxed so as not to add to their worries.If you start acting all worried too then it can make them worse.Same infront the kids.They pick up on your emotions.If they see you start panicking then they do too.

Yeah, but mostly when one person is going through a worrying patch the other is not as much or it's a bit like if you go out drinking with your friend and they get really really drunk and all of a sudden you sober up cos you have to look after them #typicalIrishAnalogy

[Northern Monkey]

Yeah, but mostly when one person is going through a worrying patch the other is not as much or it's a bit like if you go out drinking with your friend and they get really really drunk and all of a sudden you sober up cos you have to look after them #typicalIrishAnalogy

Meh i just usually leave em in the gutter and go check if they're still there next morning:laugh:

[Niamh.]

Meh i just usually leave em in the gutter and go check if they're still there next morning:laugh:

We Irish are more loyal than that :fan:

[Northern Monkey]

TiL I'm not a man :bawling:
I bet if you hear a noise in your house at night you're the first one out of bed with a weapon in your hand acting like you're not scared.The ancient male primal instinct kicks in.

[user104658]

I bet if you hear a noise in your house at night you're the first one out of bed with a weapon in your hand acting like you're not scared.The ancient male primal instinct kicks in.
That different though, I don't see why you can't be both. I can be kicking off with aggressive junkies at two and home bawling over Toy Story 3 by six :joker:.


... I thought they were going to go into the furnace! I really thought it was going to end that way. :bawling:

[Niamh.]

I bet if you hear a noise in your house at night you're the first one out of bed with a weapon in your hand acting like you're not scared.The ancient male primal instinct kicks in.

Oh My God, a few years back me and my husband were lying in bed when we hear this really heavy breathing sounding like it was actually in our bedroom, we both literally froze it was so creepy. Until after about 3 minutes I start laughing and realise that the window just above our bed was open and there's a field next to the house that slopes uphill so is level with the bedroom and there were cows in there, it sounded like there was one in the room with us :laugh:

[Northern Monkey]

Oh My God, a few years back me and my husband were lying in bed when we hear this really heavy breathing sounding like it was actually in our bedroom, we both literally froze it was so creepy. Until after about 3 minutes I start laughing and realise that the window just above our bed was open and there's a field next to the house that slopes uphill so is level with the bedroom and there were cows in there, it sounded like there was one in the room with us :laugh:

That would deffo be enough to make me feel vulnerable:laugh:

[Northern Monkey]

That different though, I don't see why you can't be both. I can be kicking off with aggressive junkies at two and home bawling over Toy Story 3 by six :joker:.


... I thought they were going to go into the furnace! I really thought it was going to end that way. :bawling:

Disney would never do that.Imagine the complaints when millions of kids come out of the cinema bawling their eyes out

[user104658]

Oh My God, a few years back me and my husband were lying in bed when we hear this really heavy breathing sounding like it was actually in our bedroom, we both literally froze it was so creepy. Until after about 3 minutes I start laughing and realise that the window just above our bed was open and there's a field next to the house that slopes uphill so is level with the bedroom and there were cows in there, it sounded like there was one in the room with us [emoji23]
Our eldest once came into the room in the middle of the night when we were alseep, shut the door behind her, so it was pitch dark... And completely silently put her freezing cold hand on my wife's arm. I swear I've never heard a scream like it :joker:. Woke up in the pitch dark, silent room with an ice cold hand grabbing her. Hahaha.

[Niamh.]

Our eldest once came into the room in the middle of the night when we were alseep, shut the door behind her, so it was pitch dark... And completely silently put her freezing cold hand on my wife's arm. I swear I've never heard a scream like it :joker:. Woke up in the pitch dark, silent room with an ice cold hand grabbing her. Hahaha.

:laugh2:

[user104658]

Disney would never do that.Imagine the complaints when millions of kids come out of the cinema bawling their eyes out
They would. They straight up murdered Mufasa :fist:

[Kizzy]

Up until the last few years I ha what is politely termed as a 'crutch' better known as an addiction, that I used to suppress an emotional vulnerability, now I confront it, and if I can resolve it.
It's a much better way to live :)

[DemolitionRed]

An interesting hypothesis there really. Is it that women expect men to make the first move, or DO women make the first move in ways that they assume are obvious... But aren't picked up? And then they think there's no returned interest when really it's more miscommunication than anything. Hmmm. Nothing proceeds until the man makes the more "obvious" move, so that's assumed to be the first move.

But then I guess in terms of what is actually going on for that person, it doesn't matter either way, they are still putting themselves out there just as much in THEIR mind, if any signals were missed.

No idea if that actually makes sense.

In all honesty, I think us women overthink things and build up half a dozen alarming scenarios in our head and I believe that's why most of us don't directly approach guys we fancy. Instead, we are more likely to use subtle gestures like eye contact, a shy smile, playing with our hair and so on.

So yes, women can make the first move. Picking up on those moves is something some men are very good at, whilst others miss out completely.

This probably explains why aspergic men find it so difficult to find a date!!

[DemolitionRed]

However i think though that it helps if your partner is worrying about something to be positive and atleast appear to be more relaxed so as not to add to their worries.If you start acting all worried too then it can make them worse.Same infront the kids.They pick up on your emotions.If they see you start panicking then they do too.

True but then that works both ways. There is nothing wrong with a calming influence providing its provided on both sides of the relationship.

[Kizzy]

I don't think I would appreciate it if a partner kept something from me, I would like to share the burden, and feel I was trusted enough to be able to support them and help if I can. Two heads are better than one?
This let's not worry the little woman view is I thought a tad outmoded.

[Niamh.]

I don't think I would appreciate it if a partner kept something from me, I would like to share the burden, and feel I was trusted enough to be able to support them and help if I can. Two heads are better than one?
This let's not worry the little woman view is I thought a tad outmoded.

Definitely and it's an idea that needs to be stamped out, I don't want my son growing up thinking he can't talk about how he's feeling etc to go all corny "A problem shared, is a problem halved......

[DemolitionRed]

Up until the last few years I ha what is politely termed as a 'crutch' better known as an addiction, that I used to suppress an emotional vulnerability, now I confront it, and if I can resolve it.
It's a much better way to live :)

Emotional containment is probably the biggest thing to hold back, not only relationships but the ability to achieve your own goals.

I'm glad you sorted that out Kizzy

[Vicky.]

Our eldest once came into the room in the middle of the night when we were alseep, shut the door behind her, so it was pitch dark... And completely silently put her freezing cold hand on my wife's arm. I swear I've never heard a scream like it :joker:. Woke up in the pitch dark, silent room with an ice cold hand grabbing her. Hahaha.

OMG Skye did this to me but slightly differently...she creeped into our room and started climbing up under the ****ing duvet from our feet. I woke up with a movement of the quilt, then saw a hulking lump moving towards me under the duvet then felt the icy cold hands of doom grab me. I have never been so terrified in my life. Still never found out why she saw fit to try and murder me :umm2:

[Niamh.]

OMG Skye did this to me but slightly differently...she creeped into our room and started climbing up under the ****ing duvet from our feet. I woke up with a movement of the quilt, then saw a hulking lump moving towards me under the duvet then felt the icy cold hands of doom grab me. I have never been so terrified in my life. Still never found out why she saw fit to try and murder me :umm2:

:worry: That sounds like one scene from The grudge (or the Ring I think it was the Grudge though) i was going to google to see if I could find a Gif of it but I'm too scared

[DemolitionRed]

Definitely and it's an idea that needs to be stamped out, I don't want my son growing up thinking he can't talk about how he's feeling etc to go all corny "A problem shared, is a problem halved......

This brings me back to the conversation I had yesterday. Do we subconsciously teach our children to mask their vulnerabilities. I'll give you an example...

...When I was little, my parents really molly coddled me. They thought I was perfect, they told everyone I was perfect and of course, being perfect, quickly rubbed off on me!. The problem with that is, the outside world quickly taught me that I was anything but perfect and I spent my childhood not wanting my parents to know that. I worried about my looks, my figure, my academic struggles but I didn't want to share any of those worries with my parents because, deep in my subconscious I believed their expectations of me would be dashed.

Instead of letting our children believe that we think they are perfect, we need to let them know that as human beings, they can't be perfect because every human being is hard wired to struggle. We should be letting them know that they don't need to be perfect but they will always be worthy of love and belonging.

[jennyjuniper]

This brings me back to the conversation I had yesterday. Do we subconsciously teach our children to mask their vulnerabilities. I'll give you an example...

...When I was little, my parents really molly coddled me. They thought I was perfect, they told everyone I was perfect and of course, being perfect, quickly rubbed off on me!. The problem with that is, the outside world quickly taught me that I was anything but perfect and I spent my childhood not wanting my parents to know that. I worried about my looks, my figure, my academic struggles but I didn't want to share any of those worries with my parents because, deep in my subconscious I believed their expectations of me would be dashed.

Instead of letting our children believe that we think they are perfect, we need to let them know that as human beings, they can't be perfect because every human being is hard wired to struggle. We should be letting them know that they don't need to be perfect but they will always be worthy of love and belonging.

That sounds good to me. When my daughter was little, her nana cared for her while I worked and although I loved Nana dearly, I used to get annoyed at her always letting my daughter win when it came to playing games. I told her she was setting her up for a big shock when she went to school and found out that other people wouldn't be willing to let her win all the time. I tried to balance it out by NOT letting her win when we played games at home.

[Kizzy]

I would say that today vulnerability is seen as weakness, look at the thread on trigger warnings... nothing is allowed to phase you. Got PTSD? Just face it and move on!

This coupled with the British 'stiff upper lip' no wonder addictions are on the rise, it's not healthy to suppress emotions, sooner or later like a shook up champagne bottle something has to give.
I would also agree that it begins in childhood, look at the change in the opinion on bullying in schools, if trauma and/or grief isn't resolved it will simply manifest.
You will then forever be vulnerable, as you just don't have the correct protective tools.

[Vicky.]

I would say that today vulnerability is seen as weakness, look at the thread on trigger warnings... nothing is allowed to phase you. Got PTSD? Just face it and move on!

This coupled with the British 'stiff upper lip' no wonder addictions are on the rise, it's not healthy to suppress emotions, sooner or later like a shook up champagne bottle something has to give.
I would also agree that it begins in childhood, look at the change in the opinion on bullying in schools, if trauma and/or grief isn't resolved it will simply manifest.
You will then forever be vulnerable, as you just don't have the correct protective tools.

I don't think many in that thread are speaking about those with PTSD to be fair, more the ridiculous hoards of youngsters today who reckon they are 'triggered' by every little thing and that opening a milk carton should come with a trigger warning

[Kizzy]

I don't think many in that thread are speaking about those with PTSD to be fair, more the ridiculous hoards of youngsters today who reckon they are 'triggered' by every little thing and that opening a milk carton should come with a trigger warning

The lecturer in the vid referred to PTSD sufferers, so if they have to just get on with it what about the rest of us?
Triggers are real, they may not be for those who aren't affected obviously.
But then they are usually the people mocking their usefulness.

[Vicky.]

The lecturer in the vid referred to PTSD sufferers, so if they have to just get on with it what about the rest of us?
Triggers are real, they may not be for those who aren't affected obviously.
But then they are usually the people mocking their usefulness.

fair enough, I didn't watch the video as I have no sound on my computer so I will taker your word for it xD

I don't doubt triggers are real. But the majority of people who yell 'triggered' are just being idiots and/or looking for attention. I mean, take this as an example. I have a friend who is a trans woman. She was telling me a few weeks back about another trans woman (who incidentally, does not want any hormone therapy, surgery, anything, just to dress as a woman. So in other words..a crossdresser) who was having 'panic attacks' and crying because she had been to the toilet and a woman had asked her friend for a tampon as her period had came. Apparently the fact that a male cannot get periods is triggering these days. It ALWAYS seems to be stupid stuff like this.

[Niamh.]

fair enough, I didn't watch the video as I have no sound on my computer so I will taker your word for it xD

I don't doubt triggers are real. But the majority of people who yell 'triggered' are just being idiots and/or looking for attention. I mean, take this as an example. I have a friend who is a trans woman. She was telling me a few weeks back about another trans woman (who incidentally, does not want any hormone therapy, surgery, anything, just to dress as a woman. So in other words..a crossdresser) who was having 'panic attacks' and crying because she had been to the toilet and a woman had asked her friend for a tampon as her period had came. Apparently the fact that a male cannot get periods is triggering these days. It ALWAYS seems to be stupid stuff like this.

Of all the things to get upset about that's the one they should be rejoicing over :laugh:

[Vicky.]

Of all the things to get upset about that's the one they should rejoicing over :laugh:

Well...yes exactly :laugh:

[Mystic Mock]

I can be emotional, but I'd never let it get me down and effect my decision making.

[Niamh.]

Our eldest once came into the room in the middle of the night when we were alseep, shut the door behind her, so it was pitch dark... And completely silently put her freezing cold hand on my wife's arm. I swear I've never heard a scream like it :joker:. Woke up in the pitch dark, silent room with an ice cold hand grabbing her. Hahaha.

I saw this on FB and it reminded me of this post :hehe:

https://scontent-frt3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/16649349_619037241634609_1782675307305315192_n.jpg ?oh=4677b5073747df611261ee52ceb4c442&oe=58FE89EE

[user104658]

I saw this on FB and it reminded me of this post :hehe:

https://scontent-frt3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/16649349_619037241634609_1782675307305315192_n.jpg ?oh=4677b5073747df611261ee52ceb4c442&oe=58FE89EE
But who even made that mask?? It's like a cross between a gorilla and Mike Myers.

(from Halloween obviously. Not the actor...)

[Parmy]

strange one this.

through the years since i was about 12-40..i'm 46 now, i had loved and lost a great deal in my life leaving me heartbroken and i would feel guilty and upset about what io had and had lost for many many years.

I lost my son and dad within the space of 6 months three years ago and havn't really grieved yet. Yes i cried at the time but since then i have tried to block it all out, so i think or want to know if i am a bit emotionally vulnarable?

[Niamh.]

strange one this.

through the years since i was about 12-40..i'm 46 now, i had loved and lost a great deal in my life leaving me heartbroken and i would feel guilty and upset about what io had and had lost for many many years.

I lost my son and dad within the space of 6 months three years ago and havn't really grieved yet. Yes i cried at the time but since then i have tried to block it all out, so i think or want to know if i am a bit emotionally vulnarable?

Sounds like self preservation Parmnion, there's a difference between losing loves etc to losing a child and your dad as well at the same time (or close to) I couldn't even imagine pain like that, I'm really sorry for your losses, I remember you said something about it before