I think my daughter may be a lesbian

[Ronald.]

Hello forum

Something has been troubling my mind today . I think that my youngest daughter may be a lesbian . She's 16. She is spending a lot of time with a girl from school outside school . Whilst that is normal she has invited this girl over for a sleep over next week . When I said we would prepare the spare room she insisted that her friend would be staying in her room . Whilst this might be harmless I have noticed that her phone background wallpaper is her and a girl hugging .

I think she may be a lesbian and whilst I would support and still love her I am confused why she hasn't told me. Perhaps she isn't ready but I don't like the idea of her inviting a girl round if it's a partner . I would be the same if a boy was spending the night she likes .

My problem is that I don't want any funny business going on under my roof . But how do I know without asking her ? I want her to tell us when she is ready but I don't want them getting up to stuff under my roof .

Any advice ? Ron.

[Saph]

does she have any Mel C CDs?

[Will.]

I'm lesbian

[Ronald.]

does she have any Mel C CDs?

No but she likes little mix . R.

[T*]

does she have any Mel C CDs?

No but she likes little mix . R.

:laugh3:

[Jay28jay2]

Don't pressure her in telling you the truth. She may just have found a good friend. If she does however come out to you then please try and support her as much as you can

[Ronald.]

I'm lesbian

Ha ha will you always know how to make a joke . Very funny! R. :joker:

[Niamh.]

Kids want to have sleep overs so they can stay up all night talking, there's no point in having a sleep over and staying in seperate rooms

[Ronald.]

Don't pressure her in telling you the truth. She may just have found a good friend. If she does however come out to you then please try and support her as much as you can

I don't mind if she is a lesbian I am a very modern man . R.

[Jordan.]

Ask what her opinion of P!nk is

[Ronald.]

Kids want to have sleep overs so they can stay up all night talking, there's no point in having a sleep over and staying in seperate rooms

Well as long as talking is the only thing they're getting up to! I just can't help but feel if this was a boy I would be cautious . Isn't it prejudice if I'm not cautious because it's a girl ? R.

She is only 16 after all

[Cal.]

I don't think she is a lesbian but then again I don't know her. She just seems to be very close to her best friend!

[Greg!]

They're probably just good friends? I've never heard of a sleepover where people sleep in separate rooms so it doesn't mean anything that they're sharing a room

[Jake.]

what girls don't have pics of them and their best mates hugging and stuff? I honestly think you're overthinking

[LemonJam]

It's nice to know that you'd be supportive of her R. :bigsmile: I think Niamh may be right here with the sleepover theory and I think girls are much more likely to have pictures of themselves with friends on their phone than boys are.

[Deirdre]

she'll tell you when she's ready, she's still very young.
If they do get up to something I'm sure you'll hear it and you won't need to ask :hehe:

[Withano]

People sharing a bedroom at sleepovers is entirely normal of all sexualities. Why woukd you invite somebody to sleepover to stay in a different bedroom? They might as well sleep at their house
Hugging your friends of either gender is normal of all sexualities, using this as your wallpaper is normal of all sexualities
Liking Little Mix is normal of all sexualities.
However she could be a lesbian, many people are
She'll tell you when shes comfortable, she'll become comfortable sooner if she knows you're fine with homosexuality. You could drop this into conversation over dinner or sumin idk. Im not sure if it needs to be subtle. Perhaps make up a story about work colleague who had their child come out of the closet and were fine with it, and mention that you would be too.

[Ronald.]

Thank you for all your advice . You're all right I shouldn't jump to conclusions . It's like not she's cut her hair short yet anyway .

Appreciate your advice nice to know if I have a problem I can ask you all . Have a good night forum . R.

[Withano]

She hasnt even cut her hair short yet guys

[RichardG]

It's like not she's cut her hair short yet anyway .
.

omg :joker:

[Jordan.]

Before sleepover:
http://www.contactmusic.com/pics/mf/sony_radio_awards_arrivals_3_140512/melanie-chisholm-30th-sony-radio-academy-awards_3879789.jpg

After sleepover:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/06/28/article-2165960-0034266000000258-525_306x470.jpg

[thesheriff443]

Not so fast Ron, ya do Ron Ron ya do Ron Ron
I'm with niamh on this one, but if she is rug muncher or likes to lay tongue and groove there is not a lot you can do about it.

[Jamie89]

None of that stuff you mentioned makes her a lesbian, she sounds just like any other 16 year old girl to me. If she is though she needs to tell you in her own time and not be asked or pressured about it. And if she is, and the sleepover is a secret ploy to spend the night with her girl friend, then would you not rather have that happen in a safe place like your house rather than who knows where? I know it might make you uncomfortable but compare that discomfort to knowing that she's snuck out in the middle of the night and you not knowing where she is or what she's doing or what kind of danger she might get herself into.

[Saph]

Before sleepover:
http://www.contactmusic.com/pics/mf/sony_radio_awards_arrivals_3_140512/melanie-chisholm-30th-sony-radio-academy-awards_3879789.jpg

After sleepover:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/06/28/article-2165960-0034266000000258-525_306x470.jpg

*listens to Northern Star once*

[MB.]

Show her pictures of Kim Woodburn, Carol Vorderman and Ruth Langsford and gauge her reaction

[Crimson Dynamo]

I'm sorry to hear that Ron. Being young is hard enough without this. Not that there is anything wrong with it. It's hard. This forum is a mine of information and brilliant gay members I cannot think of a better place for information and support than here. :love:

[T*]

I'm sorry to hear that Ron. Being young is hard enough without this. Not that there is anything wrong with it. It's hard. This forum is a mine of information and brilliant gay members I cannot think of a better place for information and support than here. :love:

bitch who hacked you :suspect:

[Shaun]

It's nice to know that you'd be supportive of her R. :bigsmile: I think Niamh may be right here with the sleepover theory and I think girls are much more likely to have pictures of themselves with friends on their phone than boys are.

Agree with this tbh

[Vicky.]

Well as long as talking is the only thing they're getting up to! I just can't help but feel if this was a boy I would be cautious . Isn't it prejudice if I'm not cautious because it's a girl ? R.

She is only 16 after all

I would say no tbh...my kids are really young so I am not sure how I would handle this, but I do not think I would be concerned if my daughter was overly friendly with a girl...where I do not think I would let boys sleep over. The main obvious reason for this is...girls fooling around with each other cannot result in pregnancy :shrug:

Maybe she hasn't told you as she doesn't even know herself yet. I experimented with a girl at around the same age but I wouldn't say I was gay or anything. or maybe she hasn't told you as she is not actually gay. or maybe she is afraid of how you would react but the worst thing you could do here is push her on it. Ask yourself...does it really matter? She is 16...not a child. I do understand the 'not under my roof' attitudes, but..if you push that view too hard she will just go out shagging in public or find somewhere else to go...at least 'under your roof' you know she is safe?

[Rob!]

Well, look on the bright side. At least this puts your worries about her meeting boys on Tinder to bed :hee:

[Crimson Dynamo]

bitch who hacked you :suspect:

No i meant Marsh, Rob and TS

[Vicky.]

Well, look on the bright side. At least this puts your worries about her meeting boys on Tinder to bed :hee:

:laugh:

[Wizard.]

does she have any Mel C CDs?

:laugh2:

[Cherie]

Well, look on the bright side. At least this puts your worries about her meeting boys on Tinder to bed :hee:

Don't mention beds :omgno:

[Babayaro.]

Before sleepover:
http://www.contactmusic.com/pics/mf/sony_radio_awards_arrivals_3_140512/melanie-chisholm-30th-sony-radio-academy-awards_3879789.jpg

After sleepover:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/06/28/article-2165960-0034266000000258-525_306x470.jpg

:laugh2:

[Gstar]

Like someone previously said, she'll tell you in her own time. I knew I liked guys when I was 16 but wouldn't dream of telling my mum at that age

[Cal.]

Like someone previously said, she'll tell you in her own time. I knew I liked guys when I was 16 but wouldn't dream of telling my mum at that age

I told mine at 13https://media2.giphy.com/media/13neOEQ2BKK8HC/200w.gif#0

[Withano]

I do understand the 'not under my roof' attitudes, but..if you push that view too hard she will just go out shagging in public or find somewhere else to go...at least 'under your roof' you know she is safe?

I think this is an important point, I didnt know how to say it without sounding like I was getting personal, but I do think its true.. you tell someone not to press the red button, what do they most want to do?

[Marsh.]

No but she likes little mix . R.

Jesy's thighs to put her off girls?

[Marsh.]

It's like not she's cut her hair short yet anyway .

If she gets a tongue piercing then I'd ban that friend from seeing her. Filth. :nono:

[Ninastar]

Like someone previously said, she'll tell you in her own time. I knew I liked guys when I was 16 but wouldn't dream of telling my mum at that age

this but the dykier version instead

[Marsh.]

I think this is an important point, I didnt know how to say it without sounding like I was getting personal, but I do think its true.. you tell someone not to press the red button, what do they most want to do?

Ron just noddng off to sleep, then through the paper thin walls hears his daughter banging away at that red button like it's whack-a-mole?

[Calderyon]

I'm lesbian

You can´t be as you are a boy. Only girls can be lesbians.

[Marsh.]

You can´t be as you are a boy. Only girls can be lesbians.
Bigotry is a sad thing.

[Ronald.]

Show her pictures of Kim Woodburn, Carol Vorderman and Ruth Langsford and gauge her reaction

Ha ha think they are more my type than hers! R.

[Ronald.]

Well, look on the bright side. At least this puts your worries about her meeting boys on Tinder to bed :hee:

That's true . I'd rather she dated people from her school than strangers .

[Ronald.]

Ron just noddng off to sleep, then through the paper thin walls hears his daughter banging away at that red button like it's whack-a-mole?

Oh Marsh you are wicked! R.

[Gstar]

I told mine at 13https://media2.giphy.com/media/13neOEQ2BKK8HC/200w.gif#0

because your parents are white

[Beso]

You folded to quickly when you said you would make up the spare room, your daughter seems to have no respect for you...whos the parent and whos the child?

[Kazanne]

I have a 13year old that is permantly stuck with one particular girl,they have sleepovers together all the time and take selfies,etc,I know mine is younger than yours but it may just be a girlie thing and if it is anything else,she will tell you in her own time I'm sure.Don't worry too much.

[Crimson Dynamo]

I did warn members about Diesel fumes and fluoride

:suspect:

[Niamh.]

I have a 13year old that is permantly stuck with one particular girl,they have sleepovers together all the time and take selfies,etc,I know mine is younger than yours but it may just be a girlie thing and if it is anything else,she will tell you in her own time I'm sure.Don't worry too much.

Yeah none of the things you said make her sound like she's into girls tbh, she sounds like a normal 16 year old :shrug:

[Crimson Dynamo]

I agree that LIttle Mix are a very bad influence and Ron if you can bin all the records she has by them I would, also burn posters etc

[Niamh.]

I agree that LIttle Mix are a very bad influence and Ron if you can bin all the records she has by them I would, also burn posters etc

:laugh:

[waterhog]

None of that stuff you mentioned makes her a lesbian, she sounds just like any other 16 year old girl to me. If she is though she needs to tell you in her own time and not be asked or pressured about it. And if she is, and the sleepover is a secret ploy to spend the night with her girl friend, then would you not rather have that happen in a safe place like your house rather than who knows where? I know it might make you uncomfortable but compare that discomfort to knowing that she's snuck out in the middle of the night and you not knowing where she is or what she's doing or what kind of danger she might get herself into.



jamie89 - you was reading my mind - I agree with you. 100%

[Withano]

Are you gonna tell her not to learn to drive at 17? Not to drink alcohol at 18? Or is this only about sex? I find it a bit odd that you'd restrict her from doing things which she is legally allowed to do? In my opinion, you need to accept that shes aged, and you cant really stop her from doing any of these things no matter how hard you try.. because to everyone else in the country, shes old enough to do them..
a pharmacist wont need your permission to sell her condoms, a driving instructer wont need your permission next year, and a bartender wont need your permission the year after that. Its just the way life works.

[Niamh.]

Are you gonna tell her not to learn to drive at 17? Not to drink alcohol at 18? Or is this only about sex? I find it a bit odd that you'd restrict her from doing things which she is legally allowed to do? In my opinion, you need to accept that shes aged, and you cant really stop her from doing any of these things no matter how hard you try.. because to everyone else in the country, shes old enough to do them..
a pharmacist wont need your permission to sell her condoms, a driving instructer wont need your permission next year, and a bartender wont need your permission the year after that. Its just the way life works.

Are you kidding me? I hope you have your own daughter some day and come back to me then :laugh:

There is not a hope in hell my daughter would have permission to have a boyfriend stay over and I would kick her ass if I found out she was having sex

[Withano]

Are you kidding me? I hope you have your own daughter some day and come back to me then :laugh:

There is not a hope in hell my daughter would have permission to have a boyfriend stay over and I would kick her ass if I found out she was having sex

But then whats the alternative? If not your house then where? I feel like its almost trading a parents discomfort for their childs discomfort. Its sort of inevitably gonna happen, and its a parents choice whether that happens comfortably or not
(To be fair, I'd imagine most people would want to wait until their parents arent in the house anyway, then its just a case of 'what you dont know doesnt hurt you')

[Ronald.]

Are you gonna tell her not to learn to drive at 17? Not to drink alcohol at 18? Or is this only about sex? I find it a bit odd that you'd restrict her from doing things which she is legally allowed to do? In my opinion, you need to accept that shes aged, and you cant really stop her from doing any of these things no matter how hard you try.. because to everyone else in the country, shes old enough to do them..
a pharmacist wont need your permission to sell her condoms, a driving instructer wont need your permission next year, and a bartender wont need your permission the year after that. Its just the way life works.

If only being a parent was as simple as that Withano. It's not so black and white and it's a bit naive of you to think it is. R.

[Niamh.]

But then whats the alternative? If not your house then where? I feel like its almost trading a parents discomfort for their childs discomfort. Its sort of inevitably gonna happen.

No where preferably. It's nothing to do with my discomfort by the way, it's to do with the fact that she's 16, she's still in school, she still has me paying for her to live so she can't afford to look after a baby should she fall pregnant. She isn't emotionally ready for sex and she certainly isn't emotionally or financially ready for the risks that come with it.

Of course it will happen at some point but 16 is too young imo, I honestly don't give a s**t what the legal age is (and it's 17 here not 16)

[Withano]

If only being a parent was as simple as that Withano. It's not so black and white and it's a bit naive of you to think it is. R.

Does she know that you have this 'not under my roof' rule anyway?

[Withano]

No where preferably. It's nothing to do with my discomfort by the way, it's to do with the fact that she's 16, she's still in school, she still has me paying for her to live so she can't afford to look after a baby should she fall pregnant. She isn't emotionally ready for sex and she certainly isn't emotionally or financially ready for the risks that come with it.

Of course it will happen at some point but 16 is too young imo, I honestly don't give a s**t what the legal age is (and it's 17 here not 16)

I actually agree its too young, I think America has one up on both our contries as far as this is concerned.. but her peers and her school is telling her differently.. they are (boys especially) fully aware of when they can legally have sex with no legal repercussions, theyve been aware since their first sex ed class at 11. If they believe they are ready, they wont look to parents, I dont think a 'not here, not anywhere' talk would work if theyre at that stage, and I think a 'not here' talk would put them in potential danger.

[Ronald.]

No where preferably. It's nothing to do with my discomfort by the way, it's to do with the fact that she's 16, she's still in school, she still has me paying for her to live so she can't afford to look after a baby should she fall pregnant. She isn't emotionally ready for sex and she certainly isn't emotionally or financially ready for the risks that come with it.

Of course it will happen at some point but 16 is too young imo, I honestly don't give a s**t what the legal age is (and it's 17 here not 16)

I totally agree Niamh. R.

[Ronald.]

Does she know that you have this 'not under my roof' rule anyway?

Absolutely, it goes without saying.. I'd like to think she wouldn't disrespect me and her mother like that - but teenagers don't always tell their parents the whole truth... R.

[Withano]

Absolutely, it goes without saying.. I'd like to think she wouldn't disrespect me and her mother like that - but teenagers don't always tell their parents the whole truth... R.

It doesnt go without saying at all, you assuming it does is naive of you. My advice is dont tell her you have this rule anyway, I dont think it will be beneficial for the reasons I've listed above.

[Niamh.]

I actually agree its too young, I think America has one up on both our contries as far as this is concerned.. but her peers and her school is telling her differently, they are (boys especially) fully aware of when they can legally have sex with no legal repercussions, theyve been aware since their first sex ed class at 11.

Yeah absolutely

Luckily my daughter has had a fear of sickness since she was really small so talking about STi's helps alot :hee:

[Ronald.]

It doesnt go without saying at all, you assuming it does is naive of you. My advice is dont tell her you have this rule anyway, I dont think it will be beneficial for the reasons I've listed above.


I think it does go without saying. She has a sister who had a boyfriend when she was growing up. She knew that the boyfriend was never allowed to stay over. She knows better to ask. R.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Are you kidding me? I hope you have your own daughter some day and come back to me then :laugh:

There is not a hope in hell my daughter would have permission to have a boyfriend stay over and I would kick her ass if I found out she was having sex

too bloody right

[Ronald.]

too bloody right


Leather and Niamh speaking the truth as usual. R.

[Withano]

I think it does go without saying. She has a sister who had a boyfriend when she was growing up. She knew that the boyfriend was never allowed to stay over. She knows better to ask. R.

Well, struggling to see why you needed advice in the first place. All kids should know (almost by default) that their parents are fine with homosexuality. If you fear that yours may not, it would be good to let them know somehow. But it seems like they will never have sex ever until they get married and thats definite, no more to say on that, she did after all have a sister with a boyfriend, who also definitely never had sex.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Ron does she like Lady Gaga, even after that terrible performance with Mettalica at the Grammys

If its a yes then that could be telling?

[Withano]

She has long hair LT, stop being silly.

[Crimson Dynamo]

She has long hair LT, stop being silly.

Not all have short hair i think

[Withano]

Not all have short hair i think

Thank you for all your advice . You're all right I shouldn't jump to conclusions . It's like not she's cut her hair short yet anyway .

Appreciate your advice nice to know if I have a problem I can ask you all . Have a good night forum . R.

You thought wrong.

[Ronald.]

Well, struggling to see why you needed advice in the first place. All kids should know (almost by default) that their parents are fine with homosexuality. If you fear that yours may not, it would be good to let them know somehow. But it seems like they will never have sex ever until they get married and thats definite, no more to say on that, she did after all have a sister with a boyfriend, who also definitely never had sex.

No need for the attitude really is there . R.

[Ronald.]

Ron does she like Lady Gaga, even after that terrible performance with Mettalica at the Grammys

If its a yes then that could be telling?

Yes but so does my wife and she's not a lesbian. R

[Crimson Dynamo]

Yes but so does my wife and she's not a lesbian. R

Well maybe she was Ron and you turned her

:joker:

[Ronald.]

Well maybe she was Ron and you turned her

:joker:

Ha ha she wouldn't be the first that's succumbed to the power of Ron. R.

[user104658]

Lost it at "she likes Little Mix" :joker: :joker:

But yes I concur with this sounding like pretty normal "teenage girl stuff" to me. Not just girls even, I used to crash on a friend's floor all the time in my teens, train home in the AM was a lot cheaper than a taxi :shrug:. Sometimes there'd be 3 or 4 of us scattered around the room and no swordfights at all!

HOWEVER... You're not in the clear yet. What you also have to remember is that even if your daughter is straight... A lot of teenage girls "experiment" with their friends. So she might be straight but still doing lesbianisms in your house :worry:.

[Ronald.]

Thank you for the advice everyone - I appreciate it!

Ron

[user104658]

http://i.imgur.com/DXBseYO.gif

[Crimson Dynamo]

where is our resident Lesbian when we need her expert advice?

[Withano]

http://i.imgur.com/DXBseYO.gif

Im confused. Theyre hugging, so probably lesbians.. but they have long hair? What is this madness?

[Cherie]

Has she invested in a pair of dungarees :omgno:

[user104658]

My wife's aunt is a lesbian. Short hair and everything. But my mother in law insists that she doesn't really like women and is in fact just too shy to talk to men.

Ron have you considered the worrying possibility that your daughter might be shy?

[Niamh.]

My wife's aunt is a lesbian. Short hair and everything. But my mother in law insists that she doesn't really like women and is in fact just too shy to talk to men.

Ron have you considered the worrying possibility that your daughter might be shy?

:laugh3:

[Cherie]

Have you considered she might be bi R!, it could be a guy next week, keep the spare room ready and on standby would be my advice

[Deirdre]

where is our resident Lesbian when we need her expert advice?

I already gave my 2 cents. At 16 I already had an idea but was terrified of the whole thing. I'm 23 now and still haven't told most of my family :shrug:

[Marsh.]

Im confused. Theyre hugging, so probably lesbians.. but they have long hair? What is this madness?
Bleached long hair with untouched roots. Sign of a rug muncher for sure.

[Marsh.]

Lost it at "she likes Little Mix" :joker: :joker:

But yes I concur with this sounding like pretty normal "teenage girl stuff" to me. Not just girls even, I used to crash on a friend's floor all the time in my teens, train home in the AM was a lot cheaper than a taxi :shrug:. Sometimes there'd be 3 or 4 of us scattered around the room and no swordfights at all!

HOWEVER... You're not in the clear yet. What you also have to remember is that even if your daughter is straight... A lot of teenage girls "experiment" with their friends. So she might be straight but still doing lesbianisms in your house :worry:.
Practising penetration with a friend before moving onto the big male appendages?

[Ronald.]

My wife's aunt is a lesbian. Short hair and everything. But my mother in law insists that she doesn't really like women and is in fact just too shy to talk to men.

Ron have you considered the worrying possibility that your daughter might be shy?

Ha ha she is very shy actually . Not like her sister. R.

[arista]

I'm lesbian


in your dreams................

[Wizard.]

How is she?