SD Comedy Thread

[Maru]

Basically this thread is for posting your serious news comedy skits here... so things like SNL (maybe US only?), Colbert, Youtube, etc. Your source, your choice, but it better be comedy too :nono:

I think sometimes it's nice to be informed about current events but maybe also be entertained a bit in the process, right?

[Maru]

First contribution

aQHI8p_uez8

[user104658]

I thought this was going to be a thread full of SD-related comedy. I'm genuinely disappointed. Can we just do limericks or something? Dirty jokes? :smug:

[Crimson Dynamo]

There was a young man from Brighton
Who thought he’d at last found a tight ‘un.
He said, “Oh my love,
It fits like a glove.”
Said she, “But you’re not in the right ‘un.”

[jaxie]

There was a chap called TS
He thinks the UK a terrible mess
He doesn't like Tories
And you can tell from his stories
That he thinks Scotland's the best

I once knew a man called Leather Trumpet
Who was partial to a buttery crumpet
He didn't mind the Tories
As long as none of them were snorey
And he didn't have to have Boris as his strumpet

[user104658]

There was a chap called TS
He thinks the UK a terrible mess
He doesn't like Tories
And you can tell from his stories
That he thinks Scotland's the best

I once knew a man called Leather Trumpet
Who was partial to a buttery crumpet
He didn't mind the Tories
As long as none of them were snorey
And he didn't have to have Boris as his strumpet

There once was a lady called Jaxie
Who liked to make poems about Tories
She did one about TS
and one about LT
And I wrote one that didn't rhyme!

[jaxie]

There once was a lady called Jaxie
Who liked to make poems about Tories
She did one about TS
and one about LT
And I wrote one that didn't rhyme!

There once was a chap called LT
Who made friends with a bad tempered Bee
Which gave him a Sting
On his poor little Thing
And stopped him from having a Wee

I knew this young fisherman called TS
Who went to church in his lucky red Vest
But it wasn't God
Who touched up his Cod
It was the Vicar the dirty old Sod

Never say I'm a one trick tory writing pony. :hee:

[user104658]

I knew this young fisherman called TS
Who went to church in his lucky red Vest
But it wasn't God
Who touched up his Cod
It was the Vicar the dirty old Sod Pest


:nono: fixed it

[Crimson Dynamo]

There once was a chap called LT
Who made friends with a bad tempered Bee
Which gave him a Sting
On his poor little Thing
And stopped him from having a Wee

I knew this young fisherman called TS
Who went to church in his lucky red Vest
But it wasn't God
Who touched up his Cod
It was the Vicar the dirty old Sod




There once was a chap called LT
Who made friends with a bad tempered Bee
Which stung him so long
On his massive big shlong
And stopped him from having a Wee

fixed

[user104658]

There was a TiBBer called Maru
Who wasn't quite sure what to do
So she jumped up and said;
"Asshole I MADE this thread!
Now it's all full of rhymes thanks to you!"

[Northern Monkey]

There was a small place called SD,
It always spilled the best tea,
It lacked the decorum
Of the rest of the forum
So the members all started to flee!


Baboom

[Northern Monkey]

There once was this chick called Maru,
Her thread was a little bit poo,
It’s content was lacking,
It didn’t have much backing,
So it sank like a knackered old canoe.

:joker:

(No offence intended)

[jaxie]

There was a small place called SD,
It always spilled the best tea,
It lacked the decorum
Of the rest of the forum
So the members all started to flee!


Baboom

I admired this limerick from Northern Monkey
His rhyming was pretty darn funky
He mentioned a flea
Just not in his tea
Now my limerick is getting a bit clunky!

[Northern Monkey]

I admired this limerick from Monkey
His rhyming was pretty darn funky
He mentioned a flea
Just not in his tea
Now my limerick is getting a bit clunky!:joker:

I once knew a lady called Jax,
She’d always fill in the cracks,
Of this crumble-ing forum,
She’d never ignore em!
She’d dish out those well needed smacks

[arista]

We get the Daily Show
1AM, a few days after the USA showing
on our ComedyHD ch.

[Maru]

This was better than what was intended. Proceed :laugh:

[user104658]

We get the Daily Show
1AM, a few days after the USA showing
on our ComedyHD ch.This is the worst limerick I've ever seen Arista.

[jaxie]

:joker:

I once knew a lady called Jax,
She’d always fill in the cracks,
Of this crumble-ing forum,
She’d never ignore em!
She’d dish out those well needed smacks

:joker:

I kind of like that it makes me feel a bit badass!

[Denver]

I have a joke for you

Jeremy Corbin

[Withano]

I have a joke for you

Jeremy Corbin

Haha. Its funny cos you cant spell it.

[jaxie]

We get the Daily Show
1AM, a few days after the USA showing
on our ComedyHD ch.

This was better than what was intended. Proceed :laugh:

I know this big fella Arista
Who was a bit of a fashionista
He liked to be seen
Strutting in green
And was prettier than his Sista

Maru I can't rhyme you!
That's just about all I can spew
I know you'll be sad
That your limerick is so bad
But that's just the best I can do!

[Kizzy]

L_Vym9RZjy8

[Kizzy]

gnL9d8PM_VQ

[Beso]

https://goo.gl/images/tCL4aE

[Maru]

UL67FQ_uGBg

:joker:

[thesheriff443]

There is a woman in admin is called josy
Her lady garden is rather rosy
Now I'm waiting for my punch in the nosy

[Ammi]

There is a woman in admin is called josy
Her lady garden is rather rosy
Now I'm waiting for my punch in the nosy

...you’re lucky she’s with her fella all cosy...so won’t be punching your nosy...you big ol’ dosy...Niamh will give you your infractosy and nose punching instead...all out of rhymes...

[Beso]

Ammi, you deserve a grammy for that.

[user104658]

"infractosy"... Yas... Infractions from different mods should have different names!

We could have infractiamhs, infractickys, infractezzys...

[Kizzy]

hmO1TDUfxTM

[Kizzy]

HZRiRuswaAk

[Maru]

r_fDZi2h64s

Wow the lawyers fighting each other :laugh:... Ive missed a lot of stuff weird stuff since quitting CNN

[Beso]

Legalise cannibis and use the money to repair our roads......


Call it....operation pothole.

[Crimson Dynamo]

American People Admit Having Facebook Data Stolen Kind Of Worth It To Watch That Little F ucker Squirm

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--kwZz0Y1T--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_358,q_80,w_636/sozbp6kvsptf8vf5fbit.jpg

CHICAGO—Saying it was ultimately a small price to pay in exchange for the splendid spectacle that has followed, millions of Americans admitted Thursday that they didn’t really mind having their Facebook data stolen if it meant getting to watch that little ****er squirm.

“Sure, it sucks that my private information was confiscated and used in unauthorized psychological surveys—that’s completely inexcusable—but man, looking on as that arrogant piece of **** tries to keep it together has been great,” said longtime Facebook user Jerry Boesen of Naperville, IL, adding that he could hardly wait to see the massive pit stains appear on the smug prick’s signature gray T-shirts as he fumbled his way through a series of nationally televised interviews.

“Just imagining that little **** sitting alone in his office and avoiding phone calls as he attempts to fend off a never-ending deluge of lawsuits and congressional inquiries—My God, I think I could die a happy man.” At press time, the American populace was reportedly squealing with delight as shares of Facebook stock plummeted to yet another low.

Source: The Onion

[Maru]

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[Maru]

kXIF2FQpgjM

[Kizzy]

f6uJvtY1rsU

[Kizzy]

XadrF1A9N5E

[Kizzy]

4MPRKpZH6hs

[Kizzy]

dKw5BUvUd9o

[Kizzy]

VFcBRHC9MV0

[Maru]

q1WLtIvYk34

[Beso]

Can someone shove last nights question time up.....hilarious

[Nicky91]

"infractosy"... Yas... Infractions from different mods should have different names!

We could have infractiamhs, infractickys, infractezzys...

this is actually quite funny :laugh2:

[user104658]

Maru enters a thread about America;

RsjUQLxX4ZY

[arista]

https://e3.365dm.com/18/04/992x558/skynews-donald-trump-kim-jong-un_4285939.jpg?bypass-service-worker&20180418131038

[Maru]

K1K8s-tQGqY

[Maru]

https://e3.365dm.com/18/04/992x558/skynews-donald-trump-kim-jong-un_4285939.jpg?bypass-service-worker&20180418131038

A new wallpaper for my cell :love: