Should parents be allowed to punish their children?

[Denver]

I think the main reason for the way the youth of britain today are is because the parents have had all punishment rights taken away from the and are not even allowed to give the child a slap or something similar if they misbehave.

I see problem in slapping a child as long as its not hard enough to leave marks or really hurt them

[Niamh.]

I don't agree with slapping kids no, that doesn't mean I don't think you should discipline your children but there are better, more effect ways to do that. I mean if it's wrong to hit another adult how can anyone justify hitting a much smaller person?

[Wizard.]

Yeah punishments should include:

-Naughty step
-Go to your room
-No TV time

But honestly it's not just about punishing, but about discipline, two different things. Discipline is better because it usually mean children are better behaved and won't need punishing as much. Discipline includes:

-You will eat your vegetables
-You will go to bed every night at the same time
-You will do your homework before anything else

[Crimson Dynamo]

nowt wrong with a good skelped arse when they are young

once or twice is all you need and they wont do it again

[Beso]

No..i remember going to bed sobbing with masdive welt marks in the shape of my dads hands on my legs....half the time i hadnt a clue what it was for...it made me resentfull and disrespectful to authority as i entered adult life...almost went to jail and i blame it all on the handiness of my dad.....


So no, its unneccasery and barbaric..

[Nicky91]

No..i remember going to bed sobbing with masdive welt marks in the shape of my dads hands on my legs....half the time i hadnt a clue what it was for...it made me resentfull and disrespectful to authority as i entered adult life...almost went to jail and i blame it all on the handiness of my dad.....


So no, its unneccasery and barbaric..

aw Parmy sorry to hear that

[Alf]

When I first started school, I remember watching the naughty boys layed over the headmasters knee, getting ten of the best accros the bottom.

Great days.

[Niamh.]

When I first started school, I remember watching the naughty boys layed over the headmasters knee, getting ten of the best accros the bottom.

Great days.

Sounds a bit perverted tbh :skull:

[Morgan.]

Yeah punishments should include:

-Naughty step
-Go to your room
-No TV time

But honestly it's not just about punishing, but about discipline, two different things. Discipline is better because it usually mean children are better behaved and won't need punishing as much. Discipline includes:

-You will eat your vegetables
-You will go to bed every night at the same time
-You will do your homework before anything else

I used to love getting sent to my room though because it's where all the good things are that kids enjoy doing; playing, watching tv (if they have one) etc :joker:

If anything a better punishment is being locked out of your room imo

[Eddie.]

Growing up in an Asian family unlike most/if not all of you, the beatings have made myself who I am today, so I agree that slapping is an appropriate punishment.

Though don't overuse it...

[Morgan.]

Growing up in an Asian family unlike most/if not all of you, the beatings have made myself who I am today, so I agree that slapping is an appropriate punishment.

Though don't overuse it...

I honestly can't think what a child could do to deserve being hit. I personally think there's more effective ways to discipline and punish.

[Alf]

Sounds a bit perverted tbh :skull:I read of far more perverted things happening in schools today.

[Shaun]

I know it's pretty unpopular a sentiment and I can see why, but I generally don't think smacking your child is that bad... it's unpleasant, sure, and it can be overused and quickly turn into abuse, but I think in cases of extreme bad behaviour it can be justified, and for all my faults with my upbringing, my mum slapping my ass every once in a while asn't one of them :laugh:

I just think people are too weak-willed generally to set up these complicated af Supernanny hierarchical structures where you have different timed punishments, and sitting on a stair... I just don't think it does anything that "punishing" to a child. And how easy is it to cave and give back a kid's Xbox or phone because they won't stop throwing tantrums about it being taken off of them?

All this said, I would never be comfortable with it taking place in schools.

[Niamh.]

I honestly can't think what a child could do to deserve being hit. I personally think there's more effective ways to discipline and punish.

Of course there is, being violent towards a child is just ridiculous and I have no idea how people justify it. Sorry but it's real lazy parenting

[Niamh.]

I read of far more perverted things happening in schools today.

Still though if some adult put a hand on my childs ass they'd be sorry.

Alf, aren't we the same age? I can't believe teachers still did that when you were in school, I never saw anything like that when I was

[Ashley.]

I was never hit as a child, but my parents were as strict as anything. They just found other ways of teaching me a lesson. Niamh said it perfectly - it's lazy parenting. If you can't raise a child correctly without resorting to physical violence then that child shouldn't be yours to raise.

[Eddie.]

It really all comes down to your family background on whether or not you consider beatings as an appropriate way to punish a child...

I guess.

[smudgie]

Distraction is a good way of sorting tantrums.
A little tap on the hand if they stick their fingers where they shouldn't, after already being warned.
sometimes kids are naughty just to test you, ignoring them sometimes works.
Keeping them occupied and lots of exercise helps as well.
Nothing against discipline, as long as it's not done in temper or too harsh.

[bots]

A kid should only ever need a smack once, after that it's no longer necessary

[Eddie.]

A kid should only ever need a smack once, after that it's no longer necessary

This proves my point.

[Nicky91]

i got stomped on my head whenever i did throw a tantrum, and that made me cry a lot


not just slapped but a stomp from my mom or dad's fist, so now i know that i should behave, and count to 10 whenever i am tempted to throw a tantrum once again

[user104658]

Sounds a bit perverted tbh :skull:Yeah... My parents grew up when the belt / cane was still around and both have said that as you got older and started to "notice" and understand these things... It became really clear that some of the teachers genuinely got off on the whole thing. Very disturbing.

Anyway, on the general thread topic, no to physical punishment. It's unnecessary, ineffective and straight up lazy. When the punishment fits the crime it works much better, e.g. You and a friend trash the bedroom, you ain't doing anything else until it's back the way it was.

Tech bans are also pretty effective around here.

We also once made her go to a neighbour's door and apologise for her and her friend shouting "rude stuff" out of her bedroom window at her... She was mortified, it was brilliant. She bawled for half an hour solid about it before composing herself enough to actually do it. Hasn't so much as whispered out the window since :joker:.

Also I think I've mentioned before, my wife sits her down for "long talks". Looong talks. About morality and the sort of person she wants to be when she grows up. She HATES them :hehe:. She gets so bored that her eyes practically gaze over. I think she'd rather be smacked. It works as a threat too; "Ahem, do we need to have a long chat about this?" - - "NO! Please no not that, I'll stop right now I promise!"

[Alf]

Still though if some adult put a hand on my childs ass they'd be sorry.

Alf, aren't we the same age? I can't believe teachers still did that when you were in school, I never saw anything like that when I wasIt all changed whilst I was in primary school. The incident I'm talking about happened when I first started school, so that would have been about 1982 or 83. I think coperal punishment was abolished round about 1988 time.

[Niamh.]

Growing up in an Asian family unlike most/if not all of you, the beatings have made myself who I am today, so I agree that slapping is an appropriate punishment.

Though don't overuse it...

A kid should only ever need a smack once, after that it's no longer necessary

This proves my point.

It actually contradicts your point.

[user104658]

i got stomped on my head whenever i did throw a tantrum, and that made me cry a lot


not just slapped but a stomp from my mom or dad's fist, so now i know that i should behave, and count to 10 whenever i am tempted to throw a tantrum once againNicky if this is true then its really horrendous :(.

[Crimson Dynamo]

i got stomped on my head whenever i did throw a tantrum, and that made me cry a lot


not just slapped but a stomp from my mom or dad's fist, so now i know that i should behave, and count to 10 whenever i am tempted to throw a tantrum once again

lesson learned

[Niamh.]

Yeah... My parents grew up when the belt / cane was still around and both have said that as you got older and started to "notice" and understand these things... It became really clear that some of the teachers genuinely got off on the whole thing. Very disturbing.

Anyway, on the general thread topic, no to physical punishment. It's unnecessary, ineffective and straight up lazy. When the punishment fits the crime it works much better, e.g. You and a friend trash the bedroom, you ain't doing anything else until it's back the way it was.

Tech bans are also pretty effective around here.

We also once made her go to a neighbour's door and apologise for her and her friend shouting "rude stuff" out of her bedroom window at her... She was mortified, it was brilliant. She bawled for half an hour solid about it before composing herself enough to actually do it. Hasn't so much as whispered out the window since :joker:.

Also I think I've mentioned before, my wife sits her down for "long talks". Looong talks. About morality and the sort of person she wants to be when she grows up. She HATES them :hehe:. She gets so bored that her eyes practically gaze over. I think she'd rather be smacked. It works as a threat too; "Ahem, do we need to have a long chat about this?" - - "NO! Please no not that, I'll stop right now I promise!"

:laugh2:

But yeah I agree with those methods 100%, turning the wifi off is another great one

It all changed whilst I was in primary school. The incident I'm talking about happened when I first started school, so that would have been about 1982 or 83. I think coperal punishment was abolished round about 1988 time.

Yeah I would have been starting primary 82/83ish as well. I was 10 in 88 but maybe it was different here

[chuff me dizzy]

Kids need to learn right from wrong and how to behave early on in life or they end up brats ,my children used to get a tap ( A single tap ) on the backside if they did anything really wrong, I prefer a slap to ending up with some of the youths roaming the streets like we have now who were never taught right from wrong

[Crimson Dynamo]

No one used fck around in a class with a teacher that could draw the belt well

that was for sure

[Niamh.]

Kids need to learn right from wrong and how to behave early on in life or they end up brats ,my children used to get a tap ( A single tap ) on the backside if they did anything really wrong, I prefer a slap to ending up with some of the youths roaming the streets like we have now who were never taught right from wrong

No one is denying that, you can teach them how to behave without violence though.

[Kizzy]

Growing up in an Asian family unlike most/if not all of you, the beatings have made myself who I am today, so I agree that slapping is an appropriate punishment.

Though don't overuse it...

How do you know who you'd been if you hadn't been beaten?...

[Tom4784]

Resorting to violence as a form of punishment is a sign of a weak parent.

[bots]

at one time in primary school, i got 6 of the belt every day for about 2 weeks. My hands were so bruised my parents went to the school and kicked up hell.

In my day that was quite a common occurrence. Some teachers used line up the entire class and belt them

[chuff me dizzy]

No one used fck around in a class with a teacher that could draw the belt well

that was for sure

I had many a blackboard rubber thrown at me in school :joker: Not for anything bad ,as if my Mam and Dad found out we had not behaved we would get into more trouble when we got home, unlike parents today who blame the school. teachers ,anyone but the monster they have created

[chuff me dizzy]

No one is denying that, you can teach them how to behave without violence though.

A slap on the bum is hardly violence

[Crimson Dynamo]

No one is denying that, you can teach them how to behave without violence though.

if you have a kid who is pestering you at school every day and one day you smack them one so hard they lose a tooth and piss themselves in the playground


they wont bother you again

And no one else will either


sorted

[chuff me dizzy]

if you have a kid who is pestering you at school every day and one day you smack them one so hard they lose a tooth and piss themselves in the playground


they wont bother you again

And no one else will either


sorted

:joker::joker:

[Niamh.]

if you have a kid who is pestering you at school every day and one day you smack them one so hard they lose a tooth and piss themselves in the playground


they wont bother you again

And no one else will either


sorted

are we talking about bullys now or what, I'm lost :laugh:

[Crimson Dynamo]

and he drew on my schoolbag

[Crimson Dynamo]

felt tip

[Wizard.]

But try having your step-dad kick you in the balls as an 8-year-old because you told your mum that he brought her home flowers when it was meant to be a 'surprise'

[bots]

felt tip

indelibly stamped on your memory :laugh:

[Niamh.]

and he drew on my schoolbag

well a kid dealing with another kid bullying him school isn't a parent disciplining their kid :nono:

[user104658]

if you have a kid who is pestering you at school every day and one day you smack them one so hard they lose a tooth and piss themselves in the playground


they wont bother you again

And no one else will either


sortedNot that I necessarily think child on child violence is a great thing either, though it's pretty inevitable, but... It's a totally different situation :shrug:

[Beso]

It really all comes down to your family background on whether or not you consider beatings as an appropriate way to punish a child...

I guess.

Beatings....omg.:nono:

[Niamh.]

A slap on the bum is hardly violence

umm what is it then?

[chuff me dizzy]

felt tip

Felt tip is a swine to get out

[chuff me dizzy]

umm what is it then?

Discipline, something sadly missing today

[Crimson Dynamo]

Not that I necessarily think child on child violence is a great thing either, though it's pretty inevitable, but... It's a totally different situation :shrug:


I was 37 at the time

[chuff me dizzy]

I was 37 at the time

Stop it Im howling here :joker:

[Wizard.]

oh and locking you outside butt naked as a form of humiliation

[Niamh.]

Discipline, something sadly missing today

Discipline by an act of violence......

I've never raised a hand to either of my kids and they're really good, non bratty kids, how ever did I manage that?

[Niamh.]

oh and locking you outside butt naked as a form of humiliation

whaaat?

[Wizard.]

whaaat?

yeah in our street

[Nicky91]

Nicky if this is true then its really horrendous :(.

it is true

[Denver]

Social services have destroyed this country

My brothers he is not allowed to do anything with her new born like she did with her other child.

Your not even allowed to feed them how you want

[Beso]

Kids need to learn right from wrong and how to behave early on in life or they end up brats ,my children used to get a tap ( A single tap ) on the backside if they did anything really wrong, I prefer a slap to ending up with some of the youths roaming the streets like we have now who were never taught right from wrong

Whos to say those kids aint getting leathered senseless at home?

[Wizard.]

he has apologised since, but like whatever some people don't know how to treat children

[Niamh.]

Whos to say those kids aint getting leathered senseless at home?

Yeah, that's a great point actually.

[chuff me dizzy]

Discipline by an act of violence......

I've never raised a hand to either of my kids and they're really good, non bratty kids, how ever did I manage that?

But all parents think they kids aren't brats, but the neighbours and people they come across in life may not agree

[Tom4784]

Discipline, something sadly missing today

Thank god, we don't have need for such a weak brand of parenting. A parent that raises their hand to their children have failed at parenting. Fear is not a healthy way of parenting children at all.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes:
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases.'

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

[Beso]

But try having your step-dad kick you in the balls as an 8-year-old because you told your mum that he brought her home flowers when it was meant to be a 'surprise'

That is ****ing disgusting..what a bullying.....argh i need to count to 10

[chuff me dizzy]

he has apologised since, but like whatever some people don't know how to treat children

You should never, ever humiliate a child, that stays with them forever

[chuff me dizzy]

Thank god, we don't have need for such a weak brand of parenting. A parent that raises their hand to their children have failed at parenting. Fear is not a healthy way of parenting children at all.

How many children do you have ?

[Denver]

Thank god, we don't have need for such a weak brand of parenting. A parent that raises their hand to their children have failed at parenting. Fear is not a healthy way of parenting children at all.

Because the reason brand of parenting that has allowed kids to become addicting with stabbing other kids and joy riding and other stupid stiff is the best way

[Crimson Dynamo]

How many children do you have ?

i am going to say

none

[Niamh.]

But all parents think they kids aren't brats, but the neighbours and people they come across in life may not agree

Right, so how do you know yours weren't brats either even though you hit them? :think:

But just for an outside perspective, I've never once had a bad review from any of their teachers at parents evenings so that's a good indicator I think :love:

[Beso]

Yeah, that's a great point actually.

Dont sound so surprised.:joker:

[Niamh.]

You should never, ever humiliate a child, that stays with them forever

You don't think a larger person hitting a little person is humiliating?

[Tom4784]

Because the reason brand of parenting that has allowed kids to become addicting with stabbing other kids and joy riding and other stupid stiff is the best way

You act like violence is a new thing born of not using physical abuse as a parenting tool. It's not. People were killed and harmed in the 'good ol' days' too. You are letting nostalgia colour the facts.

Violence is the tool of the lazy parent not willing to put in the effort of raising their kids right.

[Niamh.]

Dont sound so surprised.:joker:

:p

[Tom4784]

How many children do you have ?

Oh look, another blatant attempt at suppressing opinions.

[Kizzy]

Kids are annoying.... Have you seen secret lives of 4yr olds?
They act cute but among themselves they have sophisticated hierarchical structures and detailed conversations.
Don't fall for the cute act!
If you want your brat to do something make it a direct order, no compromises.

If my dad wanted me to turn the TV off I turned it off... I didn't want 'the look!!'
I knew when teatime was and I knew when bedtime was.
I think most kids respond well to routine, it's reassuring.
I wasn't smacked, and I didn't smack.

Ok.. I lied, but seriously I can count the times on my fingers, for both of them... And most of them were the boy, he was the most annoying.

[Denver]

You act like violence is a new thing born of not using physical abuse as a parenting tool. It's not. People were killed and harmed in the 'good ol' days' too. You are letting nostalgia colour the facts.

Violence is the tool of the lazy parent not willing to put in the effort of raising their kids right.

Since the social Service have told parents what to do and threatened to take the child of a parent for the smallest thing that is when the children of today became the worst

[Denver]

Parents are scared to discipline their child because of fears the child will be taken away from them

[chuff me dizzy]

i am going to say

none

Exactly, people who dont have children do not know how to raise them to be decent human being

[Tom4784]

Yeah, that's a great point actually.

Yup, violence begets violence. Raise a child through violence and they'll go through life thinking it's the answer to any and all problems they face.

[Ashley.]

Hitting a child is the worst form of discipline. Abuse is a learned behaviour, you're merely teaching them that, actually, violence is alright - as long as you're only doing it to get what you want.

Because that's all hitting a child is - it's to make them do exactly what you want because you can't be bloody bothered to teach them any other way.

[Niamh.]

Oh look, another blatant attempt at suppressing opinions.

Yeah because you need to have had kids to have an opinion on whether an adult should be allowed hit a small child

[Niamh.]

Exactly, people who dont have children do not know how to raise them to be decent human being

I have children

[Crimson Dynamo]

Oh look, another blatant attempt at suppressing opinions.

or maybe a salient reminder that one may not have the best idea what one is talking about?

:think:

[Niamh.]

or maybe a salient reminder that one may not have the best idea what one is talking about?

:think:

he's making more sense on the subject than some people with kids imo and I say that as a mother :hee:

[Tom4784]

Exactly, people who dont have children do not know how to raise them to be decent human being

That's silly, there are plenty of people in this world who know how to raise kids right who don't have children of their own. Do you insist that daycares only be run by parents? Can someone not become a child psychologist or behavioural expert without knocking someone up or pushing out a baby?

Your 'point' makes no sense and it only serves to try to suppress my opinion without putting any effort into actually arguing against it.

[Alf]

I think we need to realise that there's a big difference between getting a smacked arse for being naughty and beating up children to a pulp.

[Niamh.]

Parents are scared to discipline their child because of fears the child will be taken away from them

You say that like hitting is the only possible way to discipline a child, it isn't.

[Beso]

You act like violence is a new thing born of not using physical abuse as a parenting tool. It's not. People were killed and harmed in the 'good ol' days' too. You are letting nostalgia colour the facts.

Violence is the tool of the lazy parent not willing to put in the effort of raising their kids right.

I think my dad was knackered half the time after a hard day at work...

4 kids running around doing the same sort of stuff every night...sometimes we would be fine but the next night he would just fly off his seat and leather us half way up the stairs as though the noise was to much for him.



Funny though, i could have made it to the bathroom to lock the door but i always froze halfway up the stairs and just took it.


I remember giving him one back when i was 18, that shook him...shook him into full blown rage mode...

[Denver]

You say that like hitting is the only possible way to discipline a child, it isn't.

Well it didn't have no problems with me tbh and I was lucky that my mum grew up in a traditional Caribbean home so knew the difference

[user104658]

Exactly, people who dont have children do not know how to raise them to be decent human beingI'm assuming you weren't smacked as a child, chuff.

[Crimson Dynamo]

I'm assuming you weren't smacked as a child, chuff.

only as an adult

[Nicky91]

am i dumb in saying that if you discipline your child too much by beating them up, it might result in the child going through a rebellic phase


you might push them only further away from you



i think the proper discipline is to be a fun parent, but also just being honest where you put your limits, rather than only beating them up

[Ashley.]

How many children do you have ?

So Dezzy has no part in this debate because he doesn't have children? OK. So I suppose we should ban men from debates regarding women, and straight people from debates regarding LGBT issues. What a sad attempt at trying to belittle somebody's worth in a thread that is open for anybody to contribute to.

[chuff me dizzy]

IMO the main reason todays kids are out of control is down to parents who put themselves before their children, they have no home security, Mothers out on the lash all weekend while they are dumped here, there and everywhere ,I see Mothers pick their kids up from school while busy on their phones telling the world on Facebook what they are doing ......... CarlyLuvsHerKidsSmith "On school run " Put your phone down, hold your childs hand and ask them what they've done at school

They get little Johnny home ,let him go on his Xbox until his ready meal is cooked ,then back off upstairs he goes, hardly had a chance to talk to his Mother as she was playing Candy Crush or telling her mates how her spray tan turned out while he was eating his tea

Children need to be made to feel special to their parents, not just a little someone they get extra benefits for to fund their new iPhone

[Beso]

am i dumb in saying that if you discipline your child too much by beating them up, it might result in the child going through a rebellic phase


you might push them only further away from you



i think the proper discipline is to be a fun parent, but also just being honest where you put your limits, rather than only beating them up

No, imo and my experience you are spot on...

[Nicky91]

So Dezzy has no part in this debate because he doesn't have children? OK. So I suppose we should ban men from debates regarding women, and straight people from debates regarding LGBT issues. What a sad attempt at trying to belittle somebody's worth in a thread that is open for anybody to contribute to.

well said Ashley

[chuff me dizzy]

So Dezzy has no part in this debate because he doesn't have children? OK. So I suppose we should ban men from debates regarding women, and straight people from debates regarding LGBT issues. What a sad attempt at trying to belittle somebody's worth in a thread that is open for anybody to contribute to.

Ive been told many times I do not understand the "struggle" LGBT people have because Im not gay

[Kizzy]

Well it didn't have no problems with me tbh and I was lucky that my mum grew up in a traditional Caribbean home so knew the difference

So parents that grow up in other cultures teach their kids different things?
Who knew... So culturally if you grow up in a traditional Caribbean home in the UK smacking is fine or no?

[user104658]

I think my dad was knackered half the time after a hard day at work...

4 kids running around doing the same sort of stuff every night...sometimes we would be fine but the next night he would just fly off his seat and leather us half way up the stairs as though the noise was to much for him.



Funny though, i could have made it to the bathroom to lock the door but i always froze halfway up the stairs and just took it.


I remember giving him one back when i was 18, that shook him...shook him into full blown rage mode...

Not that it's any excuse or helps at all parm, but it sounds like he was probably a deeply depressed individual. Again not that that makes things any better for you then or now.

[Niamh.]

IMO the main reason todays kids are out of control is down to parents who put themselves before their children, they have no home security, Mothers out on the lash all weekend while they are dumped here, there and everywhere ,I see Mothers pick their kids up from school while busy on their phones telling the world on Facebook what they are doing ......... CarlyLuvsHerKidsSmith "On school run " Put your phone down, hold your childs hand and ask them what they've done at school

They get little Johnny home ,let him go on his Xbox until his ready meal is cooked ,then back off upstairs he goes, hardly had a chance to talk to his Mother as she was playing Candy Crush or telling her mates how her spray tan turned out while he was eating his tea

Children need to be made to feel special to their parents, not just a little someone they get extra benefits for to fund their new iPhone

That's a totally different topic tbf to what we're talking about. I agree with alot of that too (of course id' probably replace "mother" with parents though :hee:

[chuff me dizzy]

I think we need to realise that there's a big difference between getting a smacked arse for being naughty and beating up children to a pulp.

Exactly, a lot of difference

[user104658]

My dad was hit as a kid and never hit me or my sister. My wife was hit as a kid and has never hit either of ours...

Just because it's a cultural or family "tradition" :umm2: doesnt mean that it can't be changed.

[Niamh.]

Exactly, a lot of difference

So when you smack a child, is the aim to hurt them or not?

[Crimson Dynamo]

ive been told many times i do not understand the "struggle" lgbt people have because im not gay

if we waded into an lbgt debate we would soon be told we have no idea what we are on about...


but hey

[chuff me dizzy]

That's a totally different topic tbf to what we're talking about. I agree with alot of that too (of course id' probably replace "mother" with parents though :hee:

Its usually the mother who picks the kiddies up from school while Dads doing his drug run :joker:

[chuff me dizzy]

if we waded into an lbgt debate we would soon be told we have no idea what we are on about...


but hey

Its been said to straight members very often

[Crimson Dynamo]

What difference do you think banning the belt at schools has made?


for the good, if so how?

[Tom4784]

Ive been told many times I do not understand the "struggle" LGBT people have because Im not gay

Of course you don't, but that doesn't mean you can't have an opinion. You tried to suppress my opinion by basically saying I couldn't have a say if I don't have kids.

You can't understand what it's like to be LGBT but nobody has ever tried to suppress your right to an opinion on it.

[Denver]

So parents that grow up in other cultures teach their kids different things?
Who knew... So culturally if you grow up in a traditional Caribbean home in the UK smacking is fine or no?

I think you are failing to take in what I said??

My mum was beaten black and blue for things such as smoking or having a bf or stuff like that

So threw her experiences she knew what real punishment was and that allowed her to give her kids a total different punishment to which she received

[chuff me dizzy]

So when you smack a child, is the aim to hurt them or not?

Of course it not to hurt them, it to stop them doing what they are doing and showing them you mean it

[Ashley.]

if we waded into an lbgt debate we would soon be told we have no idea what we are on about...


but hey

That's hardly anything to complain about when you have both just attempted to ostracise somebody else for participating in a discussion that may not directly concern them. In fact if you're so eager to put somebody else down for it, then you shouldn't be surprised to receive the same treatment.

[Niamh.]

Of course it not to hurt them, it to stop them doing what they are doing and showing them you mean it

So if the slaps don't hurt, how does it teach them anything?

[chuff me dizzy]

Of course you don't, but that doesn't mean you can't have an opinion. You tried to suppress my opinion by basically saying I couldn't have a say if I don't have kids.

You can't understand what it's like to be LGBT but nobody has ever tried to suppress your right to an opinion on it.

Seriously ? I cannot believe what Im reading here ,I will save this comment for use in the future

[AnnieK]

I have never smacked my son - I was smacked as a kid on a rare occasion but mainly my mum would just give us "the lips" basically her lips would go white when she was about the explode and that was more than ample warning to shut up pretty sharpish.

I was at primary school when the ban on teachers hitting came in - the best teacher in the school actually retired - that was how she got results on the fear of getting the shakey makey off her - she also used to give one of the boys the slipper EVERY morning, just as a reminder what would happen if he misbehaved (he was very naughty and actually is now in prison for life so discipline did him no good).

In short, no you don't have to smack your kids to discipline them - ever. In my house wifi off, early night and football ban does the trick - all you have to do is enforce it and not back down!

[Niamh.]

That's hardly anything to complain about when you have both just attempted to ostracise somebody else for participating in a discussion that may not directly concern them. In fact if you're so eager to put somebody else down for it, then you shouldn't be surprised to receive the same treatment.

I'd like to add Dezzy wasn't the only one who doesn't have kids but commented, difference is the others were on the "right" side

[chuff me dizzy]

So if the slaps don't hurt, how does it teach them anything?

We will agree to disagree, I believe in raising children to respect others and be decent human beings who can be taken anywhere and knowing they will behave

[Crimson Dynamo]

So if the slaps don't hurt, how does it teach them anything?

Its the shock


I got an over the knee walloping for going on garage roofs when i was about 4

Never did it again and never got it again

[user104658]

IMO the main reason todays kids are out of control is down to parents who put themselves before their children, they have no home security, Mothers out on the lash all weekend while they are dumped here, there and everywhere ,I see Mothers pick their kids up from school while busy on their phones telling the world on Facebook what they are doing ......... CarlyLuvsHerKidsSmith "On school run " Put your phone down, hold your childs hand and ask them what they've done at school

They get little Johnny home ,let him go on his Xbox until his ready meal is cooked ,then back off upstairs he goes, hardly had a chance to talk to his Mother as she was playing Candy Crush or telling her mates how her spray tan turned out while he was eating his tea

Children need to be made to feel special to their parents, not just a little someone they get extra benefits for to fund their new iPhoneSee I agree with all of that; kids who go out of control do so because they aren't getting to spend quality time with their families or increasingly even their peers.

We've had flak (especially online) in the past for the fact that our daughter has been allowed to "play out" with her friends since she was 7...which was totally normal when I was a kid... But a lot of people now say they shouldn't be out without an adult until the age of 12!? Which is madness. I mean I get it for those who have no choice but to live in inner-city areas but in smaller, safer places even though there will always be risks, the tradeoff by not allowing kids any freedom is life-long and huge. A generation of timid, risk-averse, socially anxious young adults.

Of course, hitting / not hitting doesn't come into that at all.

[Tom4784]

Seriously ? I cannot believe what Im reading here ,I will save this comment for use in the future

Instead of the vague baiting, why don't you try to explain what's wrong with it?

[Niamh.]

We will agree to disagree, I believe in raising children to respect others and be decent human beings who can be taken anywhere and knowing they will behave

as do I

[Nicky91]

We will agree to disagree, I believe in raising children to respect others and be decent human beings who can be taken anywhere and knowing they will behave

the irony with you saying this lol

[chuff me dizzy]

I'd like to add Dezzy wasn't the only one who doesn't have kids but commented, difference is the others were on the "right" side

I dont know the other members you talk about if you are referring to me and dont know who has or has not got children ,but I know he hasn't .......Am I bullying him again :joker:

[Beso]

Not that it's any excuse or helps at all parm, but it sounds like he was probably a deeply depressed individual. Again not that that makes things any better for you then or now.

Nah, he was just a fake old bastard...at his funeral i heard all the stories about how he would do peoples leccy needs for free if they were a bit skint..
How former rugby players looked up to him as a trainer.
How he never swore at us in public....but behind closed doors..

He honestly had nothing to be depressed about....he used to go without for holidays..make our xmas pressies..
But his temper...omg.


His dad fought in the war for the first 5 years of his life and was mothered by his mum..but im making excuses for him....i whispered in his ear that i loved him as he lay dying...but that was me at 44.
.it would have been different if i was 17-21

[Niamh.]

Its the shock


I got an over the knee walloping for going on garage roofs when i was about 4

Never did it again and never got it again

How is it a shock if it doesn't hurt or why would you be shocked enough by something that doesn't even hurt enough to never mis behave again, that makes no sense.

[Niamh.]

I dont know the other members you talk about if you are referring to me and dont know who has or has not got children ,but I know he hasn't .......Am I bullying him again :joker:

Well It seemed pretty obvious that Adam doesn't have kids as he spoke about being a kid and his niece but not actually his own kids

[Glenn.]

I know it's pretty unpopular a sentiment and I can see why, but I generally don't think smacking your child is that bad... it's unpleasant, sure, and it can be overused and quickly turn into abuse, but I think in cases of extreme bad behaviour it can be justified, and for all my faults with my upbringing, my mum slapping my ass every once in a while asn't one of them :laugh:

I just think people are too weak-willed generally to set up these complicated af Supernanny hierarchical structures where you have different timed punishments, and sitting on a stair... I just don't think it does anything that "punishing" to a child. And how easy is it to cave and give back a kid's Xbox or phone because they won't stop throwing tantrums about it being taken off of them?

All this said, I would never be comfortable with it taking place in schools.

This pretty much

[chuff me dizzy]

the irony with you saying this lol

The irony of you of all people commenting on it my lovely

[Alf]

So when you smack a child, is the aim to hurt them or not?It's to teach them it's wrong, and that when you do wrong there are consequences.

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

[Niamh.]

It's to teach them it's wrong, and that when you do wrong there are consequences.

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

Oh come off it :laugh:

[Ashley.]

I dont know the other members you talk about if you are referring to me and dont know who has or has not got children ,but I know he hasn't .......Am I bullying him again :joker:

So what was the point of this post, then:

How many children do you have ?

I'm not usually one to call out baiting, but... come on.

[AnnieK]

As I said in another thread being a parent doesn't mean you are suddenly gifted with magical powers and the becoming the absolute oracle on parenting overnight. Everyone in this thread and has been a child who had parents and so are as qualified to talk about their own opinions and experiences on how they were disciplined and how they will discipline . I was smacked, did me no harm my parents were fantastic, I don't smack my son, I am a good mum....two very different experiences in one family turned out ok, my son is practically an angel compared to a lot of kids his age (who may or may not receive a crack for bad behaviour)

[chuff me dizzy]

See I agree with all of that; kids who go out of control do so because they aren't getting to spend quality time with their families or increasingly even their peers.

We've had flak (especially online) in the past for the fact that our daughter has been allowed to "play out" with her friends since she was 7...which was totally normal when I was a kid... But a lot of people now say they shouldn't be out without an adult until the age of 12!? Which is madness. I mean I get it for those who have no choice but to live in inner-city areas but in smaller, safer places even though there will always be risks, the tradeoff by not allowing kids any freedom is life-long and huge. A generation of timid, risk-averse, socially anxious young adults.

Of course, hitting / not hitting doesn't come into that at all.

Its awful, I feel so sorry for a lot of children who live near me, they stand no hope in life ,my children played out too when they were your childs age it was safe to do so, I much prefer a child playing out ( if safe to do so ) than stuck in a bedroom alone playing on an xbox ,Parents are so different now, the children dont come 1st despite putting "LuvsHerKids" in their facebook name

[Niamh.]

As I said in another thread being a parent doesn't mean you are suddenly gifted with magical powers and the becoming the absolute oracle on parenting overnight. Everyone in this thread and has been a child who had parents and so are as qualified to talk about their own opinions and experiences on how they were disciplined and how they will discipline . I was smacked, did me no harm my parents were fantastic, I don't smack my son, I am a good mum....two very different experiences in one family turned out ok, my son is practically an angel compared to a lot of kids his age (who may or may not receive a crack for bad behaviour)

No he isn't you only think that apparently :hehe:

[AnnieK]

No he isn't you only think that apparently :hehe:

Hi teachers, his friends parents, my friends, the neighbours etc are all lying to me??? Oh my god, I'll give him the hiding of his life tonight?

Funny thing is - I said once that my mum gave me a good hiding when I was little and asked him (jokingly) if he wanted one.......he said yes. Had no idea what it was but heard the good thing and thought it was a treat.....:laugh:

[chuff me dizzy]

It's to teach them it's wrong, and that when you do wrong there are consequences.

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

Agree

[Ashley.]

As I said in another thread being a parent doesn't mean you are suddenly gifted with magical powers and the becoming the absolute oracle on parenting overnight. Everyone in this thread and has been a child who had parents and so are as qualified to talk about their own opinions and experiences on how they were disciplined and how they will discipline . I was smacked, did me no harm my parents were fantastic, I don't smack my son, I am a good mum....two very different experiences in one family turned out ok, my son is practically an angel compared to a lot of kids his age (who may or may not receive a crack for bad behaviour)

I was going to say a few pages back... Nobody really knows how to raise a child, whether you're a parent or not. You don't receive a guide, there is no course or degree that could prepare you for such a responsibility, and there aren't a long list of rules to go by either. I can't speak from experience because I can't have children, but I can speak on behalf of the people I have met and I think I can say that most parents are just doing their best. And that's usually enough.

And that being said, I do believe that people who hit their children could do much better.

[Niamh.]

Hi teachers, his friends parents, my friends, the neighbours etc are all lying to me??? Oh my god, I'll give him the hiding of his life tonight?

Funny thing is - I said once that my mum gave me a good hiding when I was little and asked him (jokingly) if he wanted one.......he said yes. Had no idea what it was but heard the good thing and thought it was a treat.....:laugh:

:laugh:

Same with mine, people were always commenting on how well behaved they were when they were young, course my daughter is 18 now so an adult really, still doesn't even drink :idc:

[Matthew.]

i got stomped on my head whenever i did throw a tantrum, and that made me cry a lot


not just slapped but a stomp from my mom or dad's fist, so now i know that i should behave, and count to 10 whenever i am tempted to throw a tantrum once again

i have to ask, you mean “stomped” as in slamming their foot onto your head? that’s absolutely horrific, surely that can cause head injury depending on how hard they did it, but the way you say stomp makes it sound pretty hard.

there is never an excuse for hitting your child. ever.

[chuff me dizzy]

Hi teachers, his friends parents, my friends, the neighbours etc are all lying to me??? Oh my god, I'll give him the hiding of his life tonight?

Funny thing is - I said once that my mum gave me a good hiding when I was little and asked him (jokingly) if he wanted one.......he said yes. Had no idea what it was but heard the good thing and thought it was a treat.....:laugh:

Sounds like you and Niamh have done a good job raising your children ,but not everyone has, and discipline must be taught at home ,as it cannot nowadays be taught in schools, and i have 4 children and none of them drink :wink:

[Beso]

Would you hit a dog should be the next topic.

[Niamh.]

Sounds like you and Niamh have done a good job raising your children ,but not everyone has, and discipline must be taught at home ,as it cannot nowadays be taught in schools, and i have 4 children and none of them drink :wink:

I don't think any of us are disagreeing there, it's just the methods of discipline really

[Niamh.]

Would you hit a dog should be the next topic.

yeah, I bet less people would agree with hitting a dog as well which is odd or maybe they wouldn't, you should start that though, now I'm curious :laugh:

[user104658]

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

If that was the case then why wouldn't talking to them have exactly the same effect :think:. Or is it just quicker / easier to throw a hand at them than have a serious chat? Unless we're talking about kids who aren't even old enough to talk? In which case there's really no excuse AT ALL for using violence.

[Redway]

LMAO. We get more stupidly PC by the hour.

[user104658]

Would you hit a dog should be the next topic.yeah, I bet less people would agree with hitting a dog as well which is odd or maybe they wouldn't, you should start that though, now I'm curious [emoji23]There are definitely plenty of people who will happily smack their kids but would go nuts if they saw someone hit a dog. I don't know how they reconcile the two stances in their head :think:

[user104658]

LMAO. We get more stupidly PC by the hour.I can see you've put a lot of thought into this so I guess we have to respect your stance.

[Niamh.]

LMAO. We get more stupidly PC by the hour.

It's "political correctness" gone crazy not to hit another human being, one way smaller than you? My parents didn't hit me waaay before it was cool then, hipsters of their day

[Beso]

Thinking about it though, maybe how the smacked child turns out as an adult is down to the kids dna rather than the smacking...lots on here were smacked and it looks like some dealt with it better than others....

[Alf]

If that was the case then why wouldn't talking to them have exactly the same effect :think:. Or is it just quicker / easier to throw a hand at them than have a serious chat? Unless we're talking about kids who aren't even old enough to talk? In which case there's really no excuse AT ALL for using violence.I'd say difference is that they create different amounts of emotion in the child.

Smacking a child shocks the child, and they realise the seriousness of what they have done, while talking to them can go in one ear and out of the other, most children don't have a great attention span.

[Kizzy]

I think you are failing to take in what I said??

My mum was beaten black and blue for things such as smoking or having a bf or stuff like that

So threw her experiences she knew what real punishment was and that allowed her to give her kids a total different punishment to which she received

Failing to take in?... How am I to know that's what you were inferring :/

I still don't know if you were smacked or not, your mothers experience was horrible I appreciate why she wouldn't want to revisit that with her own kids no matter how traditional.

[RichardG]

there's nothing wrong with a quick slap every now and then, it never did me any harm. so long as it's a fairly rare occurrence, and so long as it's not too hard of course.

[Beso]

I'd say difference is that they create different amounts of emotion in the child.

Smacking a child shocks the child, and they realise the seriousness of what they have done, while talking to them can go in one ear and out of the other, most children don't have a great attention span.

The seriousness.....like what for instance?

Being noisy on a bus? Not eating your greens?...hurling a games controller?


How serious should it be before a smacking.

[Denver]

Failing to take in?... How am I to know that's what you were inferring :/

I still don't know if you were smacked or not, your mothers experience was horrible I appreciate why she wouldn't want to revisit that with her own kids no matter how traditional.

I was slapped but it was only once and when I was really naughty and it was only a slap that left a sting for a few minutes nothing more

[Kizzy]

It's "political correctness" gone crazy not to hit another human being, one way smaller than you? My parents didn't hit me waaay before it was cool then, hipsters of their day

:joker::joker:

[chuff me dizzy]

I was slapped but it was only once and when I was really naughty and it was only a slap that left a sting for a few minutes nothing more

So was I and so were my children ,nothing wrong with that at all

[Alf]

there's nothing wrong with a quick slap every now and then, it never did me any harm. so long as it's a fairly rare occurrence, and so long as it's not too hard of course.Correct.

For me, just knowing that a smack was a possibility, was a good enough deterrent for me not to do wrong.

[chuff me dizzy]

Correct.

For me, just knowing that a smack was a possibility, was a good enough deterrent for me not to do wrong.

Same here, the "Look" always worked on both myself and my children ,but if it failed a slap on the bum worked

[Alf]

The seriousness.....like what for instance?

Being noisy on a bus? Not eating your greens?...hurling a games controller?


How serious should it be before a smacking.Running into busy road, stealing, bullying and hitting other children, lighting fires and yes, sometimes for a tantrum.

[Beso]

Running into busy road, stealing, bullying and hitting other children, lighting fires and yes, sometimes for a tantrum.

Imo, apart from the lighting fires smacking a child could cause them to do the other 4

[Niamh.]

Running into busy road, stealing, bullying and hitting other children, lighting fires and yes, sometimes for a tantrum.

how ironic :hehe:

[Crimson Dynamo]

how ironic :hehe:

quiet you or you will get a clip round the ear

:nono:

[Niamh.]

quiet you or you will get a clip round the ear

:nono:

:oh:

[Maru]

As long as it isn't abused, like a way to take our frustrations on our kids.. my mother is mentally/emotionally disabled and she used to punch and slap me when she was irritated with me. I grabbed her by the wrist the last time she did it when I was 14-16 and when she realized I had the courage ro push back, she never did it again... I agree with corporal punishment. I will hate doing it when I am a parent soon, but I think in general it taught consequences early on to me when used... that was thankfully not something that was overdone (い can tell it anguished my mother to do it)... however, I knew friends who had fathers who would overdo it, do it in such a way it felt almost vengeful hateful... it should always be done with love and a comversation after... but I think it should only be when they are younger... most ppl I knew "graduated" it when they showed maturity and self-responsibility and I think thats a good model... like many things in life, as long as its done in moderation, not daily occurence (ie only serious stuff), then its quote fine imo...

[Alf]

how ironic :hehe:If you want to be silly about it, then I suppose it is.

I'd say it's parents teaching their children life lessons so that they grow up to be good, law-abiding, civilised, human beings.

[Niamh.]

As long as it isn't abused, like a way to take our frustrations on our kids.. my mother is mentally/emotionally disabled and she used to punch and slap me when she was irritated with me. I grabbed her by the wrist the last time she did it when I was 14-16 and she never did it again... I agree with corporal punishment. I will hate doing it when I am a parent soon, but I think in general it taught consequences early on to me when used... that was thankfully not something that was overdone (い can tell it anguished my mother to do it)... however, I knew friends who had fathers who would overdo it, do it in such a way it felt almost vengeful hateful... it should always be done with love and a comversation after... but I think it should only be when they are younger... most ppl I knew "graduated" it when they showed maturity and self-responsibility and I think thats a good model... like many things in life, as long as its done in moderation, not daily occurence (ie only serious stuff), then its quote fine imo...

I'm sorry Maru but that just sounds creepy as hell. Why on Earth is it ok and a sign of love and good parenting to hit a child, a little child specifically. Violence should never ever be the answer, I hope you change your mind on it

[Niamh.]

If you want to be silly about it, then I suppose it is.

I'd say it's parents teaching their children life lessons so that they grow up to be good, law-abiding, civilised, human beings.

Silly really? I will teach you hitting is wrong by......hitting you

[Alf]

Silly really? I will teach you hitting is wrong by......hitting youSo will not spanking a child decrease violence, and guarentee the child grows up none violent?

[Niamh.]

So will not spanking a child decrease violence, and guarentee the child grows up none violent?

There's no guarantees in life Alf but violence is never the answer, especially violence against a little person who can't even defend themselves. I know that much.

[armand.kay]

If you cant raise a child without having to hit them in order to discipline them then maybe parenting just isn't for you. Imo most parents who smack their children do it out of either anger or frustration rather than them thinking of a rational, suitable punishment for what they've done.

[Crimson Dynamo]

There's no guarantees in life Alf but violence is never the answer, especially violence against a little person who can't even defend themselves. I know that much.

Id rather be a child that got the odd smack for being naughty than years of passive aggression like ex Mrs LT got from her mother


still goes on now

utterly vile

[Niamh.]

Id rather be a child that got the odd smack for being naughty than years of passive aggression like ex Mrs LT got from her mother


still goes on now

utterly vile

Well neither is ideal really, is it?

[Crimson Dynamo]

Well neither is ideal really, is it?

many times I thought about giving that auld battleaxe a boot right up her bony ar$se

:bored:

[Niamh.]

many times I thought about giving that auld battleaxe a boot right up her bony ar$se

:bored:

:laugh:

[armand.kay]

A more suitable punishment for a kid nowadays would be taking away privileges and technology/grounding for a week because honestly what is more likely to make you think twice about what you're doing a smack thats over in no time (and if your parents aren't completely abusive probably wont hurt that much) or knowing that you'll get all your privileges stripped away from you for a week?

[Alf]

There's no guarantees in life Alf but violence is never the answer, especially violence against a little person who can't even defend themselves. I know that much.But my argument on this isn't for abusive violence, I'm not for children to be beaten. A quick slap accros the arse when they've done wrong is not abuse, and if you think it is, then you're basically calling mine and a lot of other peoples parents abusive, and speaking for mine, I can tell you that my parents are not, and I love and respect them both very dearly. I'm 40 years old and I still don't smoke or swear infront of them, that's out of respect for them.

[Niamh.]

But my argument on this isn't for abusive violence, I'm not for children to be beaten. A quick slap accros the arse when they've done wrong is not abuse, and if you think it is, then you're basically calling mine and a lot of other peoples parents abusive, and speaking for mine, I can tell you that my parents are not, and I love and respect them both very dearly. I'm 40 years old and I still don't smoke or swear infront of them, that's out of respect for them.

Hitting someone is a violent act though, I would never go to a personal level and call your parents anything Alf but I can't help how I feel about this subject, I do feel very strongly about it too.

[Withano]

We can't both teach children not to hit others and discipline them with physical punishment.

Obviously avoiding all physical interventions is the best idea. Teach a child that it's okay for an adult to hit a child, what are they likely to grow up to do.

[Niamh.]

We can't both teach children not to hit others and discipline them with physical punishment.

Obviously avoiding all physical interventions is the best idea. Teach a child that it's okay for an adult to hit a child, what are they likely to grow up to do.

Whatever happened to "pick on someone your own size"?

[Alf]

Hitting someone is a violent act though, I would never go to a personal level and call your parents anything Alf but I can't help how I feel about this subject, I do feel very strongly about it too.I don't for 1 second believe you would, and I never took it that way.

I'm just making an argument for what I believe, just the same as you.

[Niamh.]

I don't for 1 second believe you would, and I never took it that way.

I'm just making an argument for what I believe, just the same as you.

:thumbs:

[Beso]

Mind i would rather be smacked than be yanked along by the arm...that looks horrid.

[Kizzy]

I need to confess, I've hit my some more since he turned 18 and exceeded 6ft than I did when he was smaller than me, am I still a bad mum? :laugh:

[Niamh.]

I need to confess, I've hit my some more since he turned 18 and exceeded 6ft than I did when he was smaller than me, am I still a bad mum? :laugh:

Atleast its a fair fight now :p

[Kizzy]

Atleast its a fair fight now :p

Fight?... That would suggest he hits me back!

He wouldn't dare :laugh:

[Niamh.]

Fight?... That would suggest he hits me back!

He wouldn't dare [emoji23]I don't think anyone would dare Kizzy [emoji12]

[Beso]

I need to confess, I've hit my some more since he turned 18 and exceeded 6ft than I did when he was smaller than me, am I still a bad mum? :laugh:

No, but i bet you cried after it.

[Maru]

I'm sorry Maru but that just sounds creepy as hell. Why on Earth is it ok and a sign of love and good parenting to hit a child, a little child specifically. Violence should never ever be the answer, I hope you change your mind on it

I think you're thinking touchy feely, all hugs, etc... what I mean is, it's not done with malice. Like, sorry but we have to do this kid kind of compassion... I would say there was little emotion about it when I was younger, but we could tell they didn't really want to do it... so I guess understated. :shrug: Maybe having an understanding is what i mean...

[Kizzy]

No, but i bet you cried after it.

I did ... :bawling:

I only get that ratty when I'm exausted so now instead of arguing back he just puts the kettle on :laugh:

[Beso]

I did ... :bawling:

I only get that ratty when I'm exausted so now instead of arguing back he just puts the kettle on :laugh:

Because he is/was at an age where the shock factor works....young kids, imo just dont get why they are being hit.

[Kizzy]

Because he is/was at an age where the shock factor works....young kids, imo just dont get why they are being hit.

Oh he knew alright... if I go to work and come home 14hrs later to a sink full of pots he knows banshee mum is about to make an appearance :)

[Beso]

Oh he knew alright... if I go to work and come home 14hrs later to a sink full of pots he knows banshee mum is about to make an appearance :)

Im calling you the matriarch from now on...not to your face though.:crazy:




My mum made it worse cause she only hit me when i was about that age as well, purely out of dissapointment and frustration.

To about the age of 13 it would be wait till your dad gets in....and i always did. As did he.

After about an hour of sobbing, after enduring both the raged "6 of the best" hand mark on the legs enducing skelps, and the "in your room" punishment, she would come through and cuddle into me...


The old good cop bad cop routine..luckily im giggling at the memories if im honest.

[Kizzy]

Im calling you the matriarch from now on...not to your face though.:crazy:




My mum made it worse cause she only hit me when i was about that age as well, purely out of dissapointment and frustration.

To about the age of 13 it would be wait till your dad gets in....and i always did. As did he.

After about an hour of sobbing, after enduring both the raged "6 of the best" hand mark on the legs enducing skelps, and the "in your room" punishment, she would come through and cuddle into me...


The old good cop bad cop routine..luckily im giggling at the memories if im honest.

Naw... inconsistent parenting can't beat it :laugh:

[Kazanne]

Of course parents should be able to punish their children,it depends what way you decide to do it, I always find taking a favourite thing off them works best or getting them to do chores, and there is always that 'LOOK' lol

[Niamh.]

I think you're thinking touchy feely, all hugs, etc... what I mean is, it's not done with malice. Like, sorry but we have to do this kid kind of compassion... I would say there was little emotion about it when I was younger, but we could tell they didn't really want to do it... so I guess understated. :shrug: Maybe having an understanding is what i mean...I don't know, I'm sorry but I just think putting your hands on another person especially a child is never ok, it's illegal here now and rightly so imo. There are other ways to discipline children, I mean it's humiliating aswell

[Beso]

I suppose mums smacking their kids is ok, not dads though. Or maybe mums for the girls and dads for the boys..im torn really because i never hit my lad but was hit. So maybe it works...but then i cant remember being hit for hitting...i know i will shop lift for the hell of it still though.

[Niamh.]

I suppose mums smacking their kids is ok, not dads though.Nah neither is ok

[Beso]

Nah neither is ok

Im down to accepting it being ok after a certain age...probably 14

[GoldHeart]

I remember just from watching Supernanny the parents on there use to be too soft and timid to discipline their kids :bored: . Which is why they were in such a huge mess .

Kids going to bed when they like
Punching kicking their parents
Screaming/ swearing
:facepalm:

When parents ground their kids it Should mean GROUNDED :nono:
No toys ,no TV , no sweets ,no friends allowed round and go to bed early .

Some kids push boundaries today as they know they'll get away with it with no consequences . So yes punishment should happen but that doesn't necessarily mean slapping them,it can be removing their games away, take away their computer etc , and properly ground them .

[Beso]

I remember just from watching Supernanny the parents on there use to be too soft and timid to discipline their kids :bored: . Which is why they were in such a huge mess .

Kids going to bed when they like
Punching kicking their parents
Screaming/ swearing
:facepalm:

When parents ground their kids it Should mean GROUNDED :nono:
No toys ,no TV , no sweets ,no friends allowed round and go to bed early .

Some kids push boundaries today as they know they'll get away with it with no consequences . So yes punishment should happen but that doesn't necessarily mean slapping them,it can be removing their games away, take away their computer etc , and properly ground them .

Just dont surround them with wired fencing or take photos.:joker:

[GoldHeart]

Just dont surround them with wired fencing or take photos.:joker:

That's insane ! .
There was actually a evil babysitter that abused a tiny kid by putting barbed wire around the cot / bed :shocked: .

[Beso]

That's insane ! .
There was actually a evil babysitter that abused a tiny kid by putting barbed wire around the cot / bed :shocked: .

I can only blink in despair m8.

[Niamh.]

Im down to accepting it being ok after a certain age...probably 14My baby boy is 14 and a black belt in Karate , no one is hitting him [emoji12]

[Niamh.]

I remember just from watching Supernanny the parents on there use to be too soft and timid to discipline their kids :bored: . Which is why they were in such a huge mess .

Kids going to bed when they like
Punching kicking their parents
Screaming/ swearing
:facepalm:

When parents ground their kids it Should mean GROUNDED :nono:
No toys ,no TV , no sweets ,no friends allowed round and go to bed early .

Some kids push boundaries today as they know they'll get away with it with no consequences . So yes punishment should happen but that doesn't necessarily mean slapping them,it can be removing their games away, take away their computer etc , and properly ground them .The parents on that show were ridiculous tbf

[Beso]

My baby boy is 14 and a black belt in Karate , no one is hitting him [emoji12]

Not even his opponents?:joker:


He will have discipline drummed into him from his club.. My niece n nephew are the same..both are a lot calmer everytime i go up to visit and thats down to karate....and my sterness when i see them.:nono:

[GoldHeart]

The parents on that show were ridiculous tbf

Ong they were aggravating to watch :fist: . And they use to break and reward the kids even when they behaved badly WTH :notimpressed:.

[Niamh.]

Not even his opponents?:joker:


He will have discipline drummed into him from his club.. My niece n nephew are the same..both are a lot calmer everytime i go up to visit and thats down to karate....and my sterness when i see them.:nono:They can try [emoji12]

But yeah it's a great discipline to have and he lives and breathes it

[Beso]

Ong they were aggravating to watch :fist: . And they use to break and reward the kids even when they behaved badly WTH :notimpressed:.

The kids are like a tv for these numpties.

[montblanc]

if punishments include 'beating,' NO

[Beso]

They can try [emoji12]

But yeah it's a great discipline to have and he lives and breathes it

Scotland v ireland, you never know.
:cat:

[Niamh.]

Scotland v ireland, you never know.
:cat:He was only in Scotland at a competition at the start of June actually [emoji23]

[Beso]

He was only in Scotland at a competition at the start of June actually [emoji23]

Chris ewing karate?

[Niamh.]

Chris ewing karate?WTKO

[Beso]

WTKO

Ygtf.:joker:

[Redway]

A more suitable punishment for a kid nowadays would be taking away privileges and technology/grounding for a week because honestly what is more likely to make you think twice about what you're doing a smack thats over in no time (and if your parents aren't completely abusive probably wont hurt that much) or knowing that you'll get all your privileges stripped away from you for a week?

Do you have black parents at all?

[Niamh.]

Do you have black parents at all?[emoji58]

[Redway]

I can see you've put a lot of thought into this so I guess we have to respect your stance.

In some cultures discipline for kids goes a little further than threatening them with the naughty step. And they grow to realise that their parents aren’t their mates and have respect for them.

Completely, completely different cultures TS. Completely different.

[armand.kay]

Do you have black parents at all?

Yeah both strict but just in other ways like I can only recall being sacked by my mum 2 times and it wasn't really painful :laugh:

[Redway]

Yeah both strict but just in other ways like I can only recall being sacked by my mum 2 times and it wasn't really painful :laugh:

Only twice? Flipping hell.

The usual order’s twice a week.

[user104658]

At 14 I was already 6'2 and my dad was 6'1. If he'd slapped me it would have sparked a Royal Rumble :umm2:

[Niamh.]

Only twice? Flipping hell.

The usual order’s twice a week.You do an awful lot of stereotyping black people Redway

[Redway]

You do an awful lot of stereotyping black people Redway

That’s because I’m not white British myself. I might not have said it out-and-out but I’ve hinted at it for a long time.

[Northern Monkey]

The thing is.There’s no one size fits all approach.There’s no guide that suits all kids because they’re all different(it’d be so much easier if their was).They respond differently to different things,They have different innate temperaments.What works for some kids doesn’t for others.
I usually find that i’m scary enough without having to smack mine.Blackmail works well too :laugh:
However if it works for some kids i’m not against it within reason obviously.

[Niamh.]

That’s because I’m not white British myself. I might not have said it out-and-out but I’ve hinted at it for a long time.It doesn't matter, you can't just basically say all black parents hit their kids or black people are homophobic, it's a ridiculous generalisation

[Kizzy]

Omg Supernanny! I didn't hit mine but I'd watch that and shout 'Whack the little bleeder!!!!' :fist:

[Redway]

It doesn't matter, you can't just basically say all black parents hit their kids or black people are homophobic, it's a ridiculous generalisation

It’s not a ridiculous generalisation though. It’s a non-PC truth. I’m allowed to say that.

It’s not something that’s even that deep a thing in our culture. It’s just a trend in black parents. It might not sound nice and super-duper PC but we don’t make it a big deal in our culture. It only shocks people who assume we all have the same culture and attitudes to things. Shock alert we don’t. We really don’t.

[GoldHeart]

It doesn't matter, you can't just basically say all black parents hit their kids or black people are homophobic, it's a ridiculous generalisation

Redway is probably talking from his own experience .

But yeah every family is different and from different cultures , some are very strict when it comes to disciplining their kids and others are more laid back .

And then you get total idiots who spoil their kids constantly and never punish them :bored: .

[Niamh.]

It’s not a ridiculous generalisation though. It’s a non-PC truth. I’m allowed to say that.Armand just contradicted that though, he said his parent's hardly ever hit him and tbh more white people in this thread said they were hit as kids but you just happened to ask the one black guy who commented (like you didn't already know he was black)

[Redway]

West African/Indian and white British culture aren’t comparable in a lot of areas. Not least when it comes to raising kids.

That might sound funny but I just think it’s about time people of colour started calling certain things for what they are even if it doesn’t sound mega-PC. Different cultures and that.

[Redway]

Armand just contradicted that though, he said his parent's hardly ever hit him and tbh more white people in this thread said they were hit as kids but you just happened to ask the one black guy who commented (like you didn't already know he was black)

Black mums as a rule hit their kids. There’s always exceptions but as a rule. It’s deeply rooted in culture.

Armand’s the only black guy on this thread anyway that I know of so that doesn’t count.

I don’t think people understand the differences in our cultures. Black parents don’t do naughty step.

[Northern Monkey]

I’d think it would’nt be skin colour that is the defining factor but culture.I.E the countries that the first generation came from.

[Redway]

It’s hard having these conversations with pure English people.

[armand.kay]

Black mums as a rule hit their kids. There’s always exceptions but as a rule. It’s deeply rooted in culture.

Armand’s the only black guy on this thread anyway that I know of so that doesn’t count.

I don’t think people understand the differences in our cultures. Black parents don’t do naughty step.

Maybe its coz I'm not west African. I'm Rwanda and although and although my cousins do get hit they never really seemed as worried about getting beatings as my Nigerian/Ghanian friends did.

[Niamh.]

It’s hard having these conversations with pure English people.I'm Irish

[Redway]

I'm Irish

Like you don’t know what I’m saying. Come on.

[Redway]

Maybe its coz I'm not west African. I'm Rwanda and although and although my cousins do get hit they never really seemed as worried about getting beatings as my Nigerian/Ghanian friends did.

And I’m mixed. Nigerians joke about the beatings their mum gave them growing up. It’s actually all banter because none of them grew up in protected environments where the worst thing that could happen to them for calling their mum the c word was time out on the flipping naughty step.

[Kizzy]

Like you don’t know what I’m saying. Come on.

If you're saying white people say it :/

[Niamh.]

Like you don’t know what I’m saying. Come on.You said "pure English" which I'm really really not so no I don't know what you mean. . .

[GiRTh]

Black mums as a rule hit their kids. There’s always exceptions but as a rule. It’s deeply rooted in culture.

Armand’s the only black guy on this thread anyway that I know of so that doesn’t count.

I don’t think people understand the differences in our cultures. Black parents don’t do naughty step.this is nonsense.

[Redway]

You said "pure English" which I'm really really not so no I don't know what you mean. . .

Yes you do.

Edited - it’s hard having these conversations with white people full stop. I’m done.

[Niamh.]

Yes you do.

Edited - it’s hard having these conversations with white people full stop. I’m done.It really isn't and that's really offensive, white = pure English? Umm no

[GiRTh]

Yes you do.

Edited - it’s hard having these conversations with white people full stop. I’m done.How about you have it with me. . What change in culture are you referring to?

[Redway]

It really isn't and that's really offensive, white = pure English? Umm no

I fear the point’s being sorely missed. Me saying white English was purely out of convenience and you know it.

Like I say we don’t have the same cultutal approach with things like this so I’m ending it here.

[GoldHeart]

Yes you do.

Edited - it’s hard having these conversations with white people full stop. I’m done.

Why you getting personal with people, it's obvious you're talking from experience but you can't assume Irish white parents are softer ?!!, If you want to get technical what about northern Irish as people joke about the accent being stronger ,but again you can't stereotype .

[GiRTh]

I fear the point’s being sorely missed. Me saying white English was purely out of convenience and you know it.

Like I say we don’t have the same cultutal approach with things like this so I’m ending it here.Try the point on me, see if I can see it?

[Redway]

Why you getting personal with people, it's obvious you're talking from experience but you can't assume Irish white parents are softer ?!!, You you want to get technical what about northern Irish as people joke about the accent being stronger ,but again you can't stereotype .

I wasn’t assuming anything about Irish people. I just used English as a generic catch-all.

[Redway]

Try the point on me, see if I can see it?

Nah. If you know you know. I’m not repeating myself for the third page in a row.

Like I say if you know you know.

[GoldHeart]

I fear the point’s being sorely missed. Me saying white English was purely out of convenience and you know it.

Like I say we don’t have the same cultutal approach with things like this so I’m ending it here.

:conf: But we know everyone has different cultures and will always discipline their kids differently. It's also a generation thing as well as alot of parents probably had a tougher childhood and their parents were probably stricter .

[GiRTh]

Nah. If you know you know. I’m not repeating myself for the third page in a row.Why not. Lets have the discussion.

[Niamh.]

Nah. If you know you know. I’m not repeating myself for the third page in a row.

Like I say if you know you know.Girth is black though

[Redway]

:conf: But we know everyone has different cultures and will always discipline their kids differently. It's also a generation thing as well as alot of parents probably had a tougher childhood and their parents were probably stricter .

Nah. Nigerian/West African discipline is on a whole new scale. Not even in the tiniest bit comparable. Not even.

[GiRTh]

Like I say if you know you know.What does that mean? :conf: