Do you care what other people think of you?

[Mystic Mock]

Obviously everybody to some extent cares what people think of them, but do you obsess over what other people think of you?

For me I'm a contradiction as I care what people think of me a lot, but I won't change who I am just to please those people.

Poll will be coming shortly.

[RileyH]

Yeah, probably too much

[Matthew.]

yeah - i’ll spend ages wondering why someone doesn’t like me

wish i could be one of them people that couldn’t give a rat’s arse but i do care what people think of me because i don’t like the idea of people speaking bad things about me behind my back

[Matthew.]

and i’ll make such an effort to be nice af to new people and then they’ll say something a bit off, and then i’ll immediately be like in my hind omfg what did i do wrong i ****ed up again i said something am i being annoying

and i shouldnt but i do

[Wizard.]

I want people to think good of me but I don't care if they don't. So there.

[Redway]

It's only a problem if you haven't been streamlined/socialised in a conventional way and people see you as a bit of an eccentric. If your self's a weirdo don't be a weirdo. At least not in public. That's all I'd say.

[smudgie]

Nah, never have and never will.
As long as my friends and family love me I know I am doing something right.:joker:

[Alf]

It depends what they think of me.

[Withano]

Only if theyre nice or are offering me a job with more money.

[montblanc]

yes

unhealthily so too

[Ant.]

not particularly

I remember seeing a cartoon as a kid that said a lot of people in life won't like you for just the way you are (like, breathing and stuff)

Like if there's a problem someone has with me I'll try to address it? But that's the extent of it

but if people love me then yes I care greatly :hugesmile:

[Ant.]

yes

unhealthily so too

Yeah, probably too much

yeah - i’ll spend ages wondering why someone doesn’t like me

wish i could be one of them people that couldn’t give a rat’s arse but i do care what people think of me because i don’t like the idea of people speaking bad things about me behind my back

i love all 3 of you :love:

@Matthew, I don't know if this would reassure you (I'm saying this to try and validate you Im sorry if it comes off the wrong way) but you're not alone with that feeling, and everyone I know who has that fear (including me) is usually off and they're actually loved and leave a good first impression

I can't tell you the amount of times I've got home from a gathering, worrying my stumbling or the fact I didn't thank someone or the fact I didn't seem interested left a sour taste, only to get a text from someone to say the person/people I worried about actually liked me and only had nice things to say

Tl;dr, you'll never know how people feel about you, but chances are it's never as bad as you think. If you're anything like you are online you're a lovely person who I'm sure couldn't leave a bad impression :love:

[Oliver_W]

Even thinks they're weird because they're the only ones who knows what goes on in their own heads, haha.

I can't tell you the amount of times I've got home from a gathering, worrying my stumbling or the fact I didn't thank someone or the fact I didn't seem interested left a sour taste, only to get a text from someone to say the person/people I worried about actually liked me and only had nice things to say

Tl;dr, you'll never know how people feel about you, but chances are it's never as bad as you think. If you're anything like you are online you're a lovely person who I'm sure couldn't leave a bad impression :love:

Exactly this! People generally don't notice or care about the odd missed "thank you", you generally come off as rude anyway. 99% of the time, things seem worse in your head than they generally are.
Ask yourself this - would you judge someone or even remember an hour later if someone stumbled or didn't say thank you? nah, no-one cares

[armand.kay]

I know most people like me and I'm pretty confident I'm my social skills. So while I would hate it if everyone around me disliked me I don't obsess over making people like me because I'm pretty sure I'll do alright by just being myself .

[LaLaLand]

I used to, majorly, to the point where it made me ill.

Now, couldn't give a ****. You're only here once and it's not long enough to worry about trivial rubbish, nobody can please everybody, enjoy your life and just stick to the people who mean anything to you. Stuff everyone else!

[rusticgal]

I care if I care about them...

[Rufus]

Yeah, especially when someone doesn't like me because it makes me feel like I've done something to upset them when it's never my intention and I get insecure about it. I wish I had thicker skin tbh.

[Eddie.]

In most situations, no.

[jaxie]

Everyone cares to a point but no it isn't something I obsess about. I do find it surprising sometimes the conclusions people sometimes jump to about you, specially online when in reality they know very little about you.

I think if the people who really matter know who you are and love you then no one else's opinion is important.

[Matthew.]

i love all 3 of you :love:

@Matthew, I don't know if this would reassure you (I'm saying this to try and validate you Im sorry if it comes off the wrong way) but you're not alone with that feeling, and everyone I know who has that fear (including me) is usually off and they're actually loved and leave a good first impression

I can't tell you the amount of times I've got home from a gathering, worrying my stumbling or the fact I didn't thank someone or the fact I didn't seem interested left a sour taste, only to get a text from someone to say the person/people I worried about actually liked me and only had nice things to say

Tl;dr, you'll never know how people feel about you, but chances are it's never as bad as you think. If you're anything like you are online you're a lovely person who I'm sure couldn't leave a bad impression :love:

aw thank you ant :love:

i usually either say very little or talk far too much bollocks when i meet someone new so both of those could come off as annoying probably?

[Redway]

aw thank you ant :love:

i usually either say very little or talk far too much bollocks when i meet someone new so both of those could come off as annoying probably?

And do you think people get the impression that you're stuck-up/pampered if you come across as too quiet?

Everyone waffles at times though. It's natural.

[Matthew.]

And do you think people get the impression that you're stuck-up/pampered if you come across as too quiet?

i’ve never thought of it like that before

[GoldHeart]

It depends what they think of me.

Pretty much this
Otherwise no :idc:

[Crimson Dynamo]

Its science innit.

Young people like to be part of the tribe and they need to get a mate and procreate the selfish gene so you care deeply what people think, once you get a mate it reduces and combined with this as you get older you realise no one is looking at you, thinking about you and they are actually thinking about themselves. Combine that with the fact that as you get oldr you get more responsibility and more things to think about than yourself

So its a graph that starts at the top and reduces with age


Its good to remember this: "pretty much most of the time people are not thinking about you but themselves"

:)

[Nicky91]

yes, which is why i get stressed so damn much

[Crimson Dynamo]

yes, which is why i get stressed so damn much

please read the post above yours

[Mystic Mock]

Its science innit.

Young people like to be part of the tribe and they need to get a mate and procreate the selfish gene so you care deeply what people think, once you get a mate it reduces and combined with this as you get older you realise no one is looking at you, thinking about you and they are actually thinking about themselves. Combine that with the fact that as you get oldr you get more responsibility and more things to think about than yourself

So its a graph that starts at the top and reduces with age


Its good to remember this: "pretty much most of the time people are not thinking about you but themselves"

:)

You're right to a certain extent I think LT, it's interesting how the Human mind can work sometimes when it comes to things such as friendship or just being respected.

[ethanjames]

yes a lot i have for years and years and i don't think i will ever go through a night where i cant sleep because im worrying if i may or may not have upset someone or if they actually liked me. i would love to not care but ive been ****ed over SO MANY TIMES in my lifetime its just part of my schedule to worry now.

[Crimson Dynamo]

You're right to a certain extent I think LT, it's interesting how the Human mind can work sometimes when it comes to things such as friendship or just being respected.

Its best to just remember: " what other people think of you, is none of your business"

[Crimson Dynamo]

in fact that should be the new slogan for ML 2019

[Vanessa]

Don't give a monkey's :hee:

[kirklancaster]

I know who I am and I like myself. Those others who know me like me too, so if anyone has a different opinion of me I don't care because they DON'T know me.

[Kazanne]

No, not at all , I have people who love and care for me , I get on with most people , so I think I am quite likeable ,if I am not ,there is usually a good reason.

[Brillopad]

Obviously everybody to some extent cares what people think of them, but do you obsess over what other people think of you?

For me I'm a contradiction as I care what people think of me a lot, but I won't change who I am just to please those people.

Poll will be coming shortly.

I think the question isn’t defined enough. I care what people I like think of me but I don’t care what people I don’t like think of me.

[AnnieK]

The older I get the less I care as its not something you can control.

In real life very few people like me when they first meet me. At work when we have new starters they all say I am very stand offish at first - to the point of being hostile - I am just actually incredibly shy and it takes me ages to weigh up new people - once I have got to know them a bit, I become most peoples fave at work as I am a bit daft and don't take myself too seriously but at first, I know I am awful but i honestly can't help it.

[Oliver_W]

Its science innit.

Young people like to be part of the tribe and they need to get a mate and procreate the selfish gene so you care deeply what people think, once you get a mate it reduces and combined with this as you get older you realise no one is looking at you, thinking about you and they are actually thinking about themselves. Combine that with the fact that as you get oldr you get more responsibility and more things to think about than yourself

So its a graph that starts at the top and reduces with age


Its good to remember this: "pretty much most of the time people are not thinking about you but themselves"

:)

The older I get the less I care as its not something you can control.

Yes indeed. As you get older, you realise that very little matters - almost nothing, in fact.

Unless someone is psychic their thoughts can't hurt you, and why should you waste time worrying about someone else's inner monologue?

[Gusto Brunt]

No, because anyone's opinion of me is probably wrong. :p

[y.winter]

I care, but it's not something that I think of most of the time and it hardly influences what I do and believe.
I care mostly when I feel that there are some negative thoughts about me, and it's normally just being paranoid.

[JerseyWins]

I don't really like if people have negative thoughts about me or if I've legitimately upset someone. I definitely care a bit so I've voted yes but overall it doesn't effect me much though.

[Garfie]

I've always worried far too much, but I know this stems from the fact I have never ever felt I'm good enough, despite how many good friends I have or what I achieve. I've always convinced myself that any achievement is a fluke and that one day people will realise I'm not good enough. In relationships I'm always convinced that the closer people get, the more likely they are to realise I'm not good enough, so I keep everyone at arm's length. I believe this is called something like 'imposter syndrome'.

I look back over my life so far and realise how negatively this has affected me and how it has prevented me from having what I truly want in life. I've tried to work on this but no matter what I do, I can't seem to change the thoughts about me that I feel are a truth in my own mind. It's really sad really.

Anyhow, I have accepted this is my lot in life, but I do wonder whether those people that worry more about what others think do so because they are already in a negative thought pattern about themselves, and are subconsciously looking for confirmation that those thoughts are correct. Why, I don't know.

These days I tell others that if people don't matter to you or you don't care about them, their thoughts are irrelevant. That has helped me. However, I still worry incredibly about what those I do care about think of me. It's very self destructive but I don't think it's something I'll ever be able to change.