Ant Ranks All "The Story of Tracy Beaker" Characters - 24 out now! (RileyH SCREAMING)

[Ant.]

Get ready children!
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Media/Pix/pictures/2009/03/25/tracybeaker460.jpg

I am going to rank all 34 'main' characters from the Story of Tracy Beaker
(I was gonna do all Tracy Beaker universe characters but I haven't watched the most recent series so I can't)


In the Running:
Tracy Beaker
Mike Milligan
Norman 'Duke' Ellington
Jenny Edwards
Justine Littlewood
Maxwell 'Maxy' King
Elaine Boyak
Cam Lawson
Bradley 'Bouncer' Plakova
Lawrence 'Lol' Plakova
Dolly
Nathan Jones
Amber Hearst
Shelley Appleton
Liam 'Crash'
Jackie Hopper
Chantal Wellard
Rio Wellard
Roxy Wellard
Sean 'Wolfie'
Rebecca Chalmers
Alice

Ranking:

23. Layla
24. Louise Govern
25. Adele Azupadi
26. Ben Batambuze
27. Hayley
28. Marco Maloney
29. Milly
30. Peter Ingham
31. Sid Rooney
32. Zac Patterson
33. Ryan Patterson
34. Michael Grice

Categories:

Lowest Ranking Male: Michael Grice
Lowest Ranking Female: Milly
Lowest Ranking One-Series Character: Michael Grice
Lowest Ranking One-Series Male: Michael Grice
Lowest Ranking One-Series Female: Milly
Lowest Ranking Multi-Series Character: Marco Maloney
Lowest Ranking Multi-Series Male: Marco Maloney
Lowest Ranking Multi-Series Female: Hayley
Highest Ranking Male:
Highest Ranking Female:
Highest Ranking One-Series Character: Michael Grice
Highest Ranking One-Series Male: Michael Grice
Highest Ranking One-Series Female: Milly
Highest Ranking Multi-Series Character: Marco Maloney
Highest Ranking Multi-Series Male: Marco Maloney
Highest Ranking Multi-Series Female:

[RileyH]

Justine, Dolly, Chantal top 3 pls

[Ant.]

Justine, Dolly, Chantal top 3 pls

chantal is one sexy bitch

[Ant.]

oop

[RileyH]

Omg he was such a ****

[Ant.]

Omg he was such a ****

TEA

The easiest write up ever x

[Morgan.]

What about TBR too then instead of TDG as well

[Tony Montana]

Looking forward to this :clap1:

Great start, I despised that little prick so much

[Tony Montana]

Justine, Dolly, Chantal top 3 pls

Top 3 for me are

Tracy
Justine
Crash

[Ant.]

What about TBR too then instead of TDG as well

I was thinking that but it didn't feel right </3

[Underscore]

1. Dolly
2. Maxy
3. Jenny

and that is the TEA

[RileyH]

Supernatural Shelley > Jenny

[LukeB]

Elaine The pain

[Ant.]

1. Dolly
2. Maxy
3. Jenny

and that is the TEA

where's the whites man?

Supernatural Shelley > Jenny

i used to hold this opinion but then I realised how amazing jenny was when I rewatched some series 1 and 2

Elaine The pain

queen :hug: i cant believe she got ha titties out in the 90s

[Alf]

Johnny Briggs > Tracy Beaker

[Ant.]

Johnny Briggs > Tracy Beaker

i dunno who that is but alf i love you so much

[JerseyWins]

I might do a Boy Meets World ranking if we've come to this

[Tony Montana]

so who's next after Michael, Ant?

[RileyH]

What about TBR too then instead of TDG as well

We all know Miss Carmen would've rightfully snatched so it's nice that it's fair

[Underscore]

We all know Miss Carmen would've rightfully snatched so it's nice that it's fair

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/the-dumping-ground-tales/images/2/27/Ginaconway.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140211170153

objects

[Underscore]

the real villain and queen of tracy beaker returns

wow, firstly she killed dirty den, then gave herself up for the cybermen and THEN conned kids out of 5 grand! queen of constantly reinventing herself

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYTgxNzk4YzAtYWVmNC00YzY3LTgyZjMtNDMwYmRhYzg3Yz dhXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTQ1NjAxODA@._V1_.jpg

[Matthew.]

the real villain and queen of tracy beaker returns

wow, firstly she killed dirty den, then gave herself up for the cybermen and THEN conned kids out of 5 grand! queen of constantly reinventing herself

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYTgxNzk4YzAtYWVmNC00YzY3LTgyZjMtNDMwYmRhYzg3Yz dhXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTQ1NjAxODA@._V1_.jpg

Auntie Val :love:

[Underscore]

Auntie Val :love:

and also being the countries' favourite auntie

[Underscore]

maxy is my avi

[Wizard.]

Screaming!

[Wizard.]

I used to fancy Louise until that episode when she farted and then I went off her!

[Underscore]

I used to fancy Louise until that episode when she farted and then I went off her!

ynaKf2i9dig

[RileyH]

I used to fancy Louise until that episode when she farted and then I went off her!

lmao this + when she stood in dog **** are the only things I remember about ha

[Alf]

Any of you Beaker fans seen the sitcom "After You've Gone" Which starred Dani Harmer alongside Nicholas Lyndhurst?

If so, is it any good?

[Ant.]

so who's next after Michael, Ant?

All I can say is, there's more than one out next!

[Ant.]

Any of you Beaker fans seen the sitcom "After You've Gone" Which starred Dani Harmer alongside Nicholas Lyndhurst?

If so, is it any good?

I've not, I've heard good things though

[Ant.]

33. Ryan Patterson - Series 1
https://i.imgur.com/NvcLQYR.jpg

32. Zac Patterson - Series 1
https://imgur.com/kPI3a4S.jpg

To put it simply, these two are put so below because they're dull. Really dull. Do you know what I had in my mind before deciding to do this write up? "They both like to fix things! They fixed Justine's clock!"
Anywho, I figured they must've done something beyond that, right? A few things stuck out in my mind, like Zac's fear of vampires causing Ryan to swap rooms with Maxy. But that was it. The only thing the brothers did was contribute to smaller stories that weren't necessary to the episodes. They had little to no interaction with Tracy either, and their friendships lied with Maxy and Peter.... and they just weren't dynamic. There was nothing interesting or notable with Zac's friendship with Maxy, or Ryan's friendship with Peter, or vice versa.
There was no development for them. No backstory. And no explanation as to why they left (such was the fate of a good number of characters in Series 1 and 2, but they got better at writing out characters by Series 3 onwards lmao x). They were just kids, and while not bad, they're just not enjoyable, and they can't stand their ground against the other kids in the ranking.

So why Zac over Ryan?

The answer's simple - Ryan's hairline pisses me off.

[RileyH]

oop wig

[Underscore]

33. Ryan Patterson - Series 1
https://i.imgur.com/NvcLQYR.jpg

32. Zac Patterson - Series 1
https://imgur.com/kPI3a4S.jpg

To put it simply, these two are put so below because they're dull. Really dull. Do you know what I had in my mind before deciding to do this write up? "They both like to fix things! They fixed Justine's clock!"
Anywho, I figured they must've done something beyond that, right? A few things stuck out in my mind, like Zac's fear of vampires causing Ryan to swap rooms with Maxy. But that was it. The only thing the brothers did was contribute to smaller stories that weren't necessary to the episodes. They had little to no interaction with Tracy either, and their friendships lied with Maxy and Peter.... and they just weren't dynamic. There was nothing interesting or notable with Zac's friendship with Maxy, or Ryan's friendship with Peter, or vice versa.
There was no development for them. No backstory. And no explanation as to why they left (such was the fate of a good number of characters in Series 1 and 2, but they got better at writing out characters by Series 3 onwards lmao x). They were just kids, and while not bad, they're just not enjoyable, and they can't stand their ground against the other kids in the ranking.

So why Zac over Ryan?

The answer's simple - Ryan's hairline pisses me off.


i can hear their voices as i read this

[Marsh.]

Any of you Beaker fans seen the sitcom "After You've Gone" Which starred Dani Harmer alongside Nicholas Lyndhurst?

If so, is it any good?

One of the worst sitcoms ever committed to film.

[Caution]

Remember sexy Wilson <3

[Morgan.]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cf3PW9cXEAUnagz.jpg

[Wizard.]

Jackie next please! Can’t stand the bitch and her grandad!

[Underscore]

Jackie next please! Can’t stand the bitch and her grandad!

you're the equivalent of jackie on this forum bitch please

[Ant.]

31. Sid Rooney - Series 4
https://i.imgur.com/iK3dHEu.jpg

Tracy Beaker had a tendency to write off characters with no explanation (see: like, half of the Series 1 cast, some of the Series 2 cast, M*chael... although I'm glad the latter didn't get an explanation, because I can at least imagine the kids killed him in his sleep), but luckily they always explained why care workers left. Mike and Jenny got new jobs, and while we only found that out from Tracy after Jenny's left in the Series 3 premiere, it was certainly more of a resolve to her character's end on the show than Shelley's departure (although thankfully she was only gone temporarily).

After changing house previously with no explanation (and still pretending it's the same building :skull: like, why are there two Stowey House's and two Elm Tree Houses, and why did they pretend the second Elm Tree House was the same house as the second Stowey House in TBR with the time capsule?!?! WHY?), Series 4 opened with the kids actually moving house (hurray) and with a brand new careworker.... Sid. Shelley's gone. Why? Who knows. But we care, because she was interesting (I almost turned this into a Shelley writeup, but anywho, onto Sid). So the fact she didn't get a goodbye left things a sour, but then we got this random bloke just... there.

He really pales when compared to the other careworkers. Mike and Jenny were great, lovable, and we could relate to their resentment towards Elaine the Pain, Nathan was new and hip and had great dynamics with Bouncer, Lol, and Dolly (ESPECIALLY Dolly), and Shelley was menacing on the outside yet lovable on the inside.
And to be fair, the careworkers bounced off each other. Mike and Jenny had a great friendship and great interactions (and as did Duke, even if he's not a careworker) for example, whereas Sid was alone, with only Duke and Elaine as supports, and they just seemed more like work colleagues. The only level of friendship I saw between the three care home adults in Series 4 is when Sid seemed upset that Duke was leaving... and even then why should we care? They had a friendship yes, certainly apparent in the Series 4 finale, but it just didn't feel organic, and Sid didn't have any notable interactions with the kids.

What's ironic is, in Series 5, Duke's departure is he explained, while Mike just suddenly appears and Sid's nowhere to be found (also, they're in a different house again, but whatever, it's not unreasonable to think they moved house again). That just makes Sid truly forgettable, and I can never remember Series 4 episodes being aired on re-runs on CBBC, so that doesn't help.

Yeah, Sid was just boring and unforgettable.

[Ant.]

(i accidentally deleted Michael's writeup lmao he deserves it the ****)

[RileyH]

hew

[LukeB]

Poor Sid

[Tony Montana]

31. Sid Rooney - Series 4
https://i.imgur.com/iK3dHEu.jpg

Tracy Beaker had a tendency to write off characters with no explanation (see: like, half of the Series 1 cast, some of the Series 2 cast, M*chael... although I'm glad the latter didn't get an explanation, because I can at least imagine the kids killed him in his sleep), but luckily they always explained why care workers left. Mike and Jenny got new jobs, and while we only found that out from Tracy after Jenny's left in the Series 3 premiere, it was certainly more of a resolve to her character's end on the show than Shelley's departure (although thankfully she was only gone temporarily).

After changing house previously with no explanation (and still pretending it's the same building :skull: like, why are there two Stowey House's and two Elm Tree Houses, and why did they pretend the second Elm Tree House was the same house as the second Stowey House in TBR with the time capsule?!?! WHY?), Series 4 opened with the kids actually moving house (hurray) and with a brand new careworker.... Sid. Shelley's gone. Why? Who knows. But we care, because she was interesting (I almost turned this into a Shelley writeup, but anywho, onto Sid). So the fact she didn't get a goodbye left things a sour, but then we got this random bloke just... there.

He really pales when compared to the other careworkers. Mike and Jenny were great, lovable, and we could relate to their resentment towards Elaine the Pain, Nathan was new and hip and had great dynamics with Bouncer, Lol, and Dolly (ESPECIALLY Dolly), and Shelley was menacing on the outside yet lovable on the inside.
And to be fair, the careworkers bounced off each other. Mike and Jenny had a great friendship and great interactions (and as did Duke, even if he's not a careworker) for example, whereas Sid was alone, with only Duke and Elaine as supports, and they just seemed more like work colleagues. The only level of friendship I saw between the three care home adults in Series 4 is when Sid seemed upset that Duke was leaving... and even then why should we care? They had a friendship yes, certainly apparent in the Series 4 finale, but it just didn't feel organic, and Sid didn't have any notable interactions with the kids.

What's ironic is, in Series 5, Duke's departure is he explained, while Mike just suddenly appears and Sid's nowhere to be found (also, they're in a different house again, but whatever, it's not unreasonable to think they moved house again). That just makes Sid truly forgettable, and I can never remember Series 4 episodes being aired on re-runs on CBBC, so that doesn't help.

Yeah, Sid was just boring and unforgettable.

So what is the truth?

[Caution]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cf3PW9cXEAUnagz.jpg

This a bad angle

[Ant.]

So what is the truth?

forgettable oop

sid is all but unforgettable!

[reece(:]

Not Sid

[Ant.]

Not Sid

now now let's not act like he didn't deserve it!

[Ant.]

30. Peter Ingham - Series 1
https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2016-12/23/9/asset/buzzfeed-prod-web-09/sub-buzz-27568-1482502228-1.jpg

This is where the rankdown gets difficult.

If you've noticed, all there's been a pattern with all my low-rankers so far - no, it's not that they're all men (although that they are), but it's that they're all lasted one season. That's not to say all one season characters will be cut early, but with less screentime comes less development, and such is the case for Peter.

Peter is, well, Peter. He's generic. But what sets him apart from Zac and Ryan (who also suffer from being generic) is that they did something with Peter. He was fostered, and we got to saw him have some story. We saw him go bat**** crazy (throwing Tracy's picture out the window :laugh2:) but I just didn't feel invested in his character. He had story, he had a character, but he still felt generic. Of course, he is a kid. But other kids similar to his age (or younger) are better than him by not being generic personality wise.

While Peter is a generic character done right, generic characters are not my thing.

[RileyH]

Peter was adorable

[Ant.]

Peter was adorable

I remember when I was 7 I dressed up as him for World Book Day x

[Morgan.]

I remember when I was 7 I dressed up as him for World Book Day x

Omg I totally see it

[Ant.]

Omg I totally see it

:skull: :joker:

[Ant.]

29. Milly - Series 5
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/tracybeaker/images/9/99/Milly_Tracy_Beaker.png

True to character, there is not much to say about Milly.

Milly's mute and is known for her friendship with Marco. When she first came to the DG, she was quiet, but assumed scary and evil (and quite possibly both given how she and Marco typed "ELAINE YOU ARE DOOMED" on Elaine's laptop :skull:). She only spoke once (in real life, that is. Never forget Tracy's fantasy where Milly screams "TRACY BEAKER SHUT YOUR BIG FAT GOB!" :love:) and that was when she snapped at Elaine lmao

It feels weird not placing her last, but that's because she's not generic. Her time was short, but she was consistent, and didn't overstay her welcome. It was nice to see a mute character, but with her interactions starting and ending with Marco, her uniqueness and consistent character simply cannot compete with the other kids left in the running. Bye bye Milly.

[RileyH]

hew

[Tony Montana]

Milly :love:

You totally forgot about this didn't you Ant?

[Ant.]

Milly :love:

You totally forgot about this didn't you Ant?

https://media1.tenor.com/images/bbcf50e44a3cdca2c660bfb5a9ea4bc9/tenor.gif?itemid=7516900

[Ant.]

28. Marco Maloney - Series 3-5
https://i.imgur.com/S5WbxoY.jpg

What a weirdo. Name ONE thing he did beyond dress up in costumes. Oh yeah, he ate a ****ing key. His ****ing cartoon was weird too with those gloves. Prostate exam teas. I really should’ve culled him alongside Milly but I was deciding long and hard where to put this freak. Whatever, he’s gone now. Join your bitch in ranking hell..

[RileyH]

In the Running:
Louise Govern
Cam Lawson
Amber Hearst
Hayley
Layla

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/2198363247/marco.jpg

[Ant.]

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/2198363247/marco.jpg

One of them is next out and one of them is #5 :eyes:

[Lostie!]

If Elaine doesn't win we're gonna have trouble

[Ant.]

If Elaine doesn't win we're gonna have trouble

https://media3.giphy.com/media/3oz8xLlw6GHVfokaNW/giphy.gif

[Ant.]

Should we say goodbye to one more?

[RileyH]

Well bloody get on with it!

[LukeB]

Well bloody get on with it!

I mean Mont is still waiting for your ranking thing.

[LukeB]

Should we say goodbye to one more?

Get Louise Out Get Louise Out

[Ant.]

Well bloody get on with it!

IT WASN'T A RHETORICAL QUESTION! If you wanted someone else out you should've ****ING SAID!!!!

[Ant.]

At least Luke responded to me :love: king

[RileyH]

I mean Mont is still waiting for your ranking thing.

And she can stay waiting

https://media1.tenor.com/images/64961ac817260ae28858d6cdfd3565fc/tenor.gif

[Ant.]

27. Hayley - Series 3-4
https://i.imgur.com/uPa3Cfm.jpg

Oh Hayley. Sweet, quiet, Hayley. All I really remember about her is liking dolls and being best friends with Layla. She’s quiet and she couldn’t act for ****. So why isn’t she dead last? For one, she’s not Michael. Second of all, she’s a bit of a badass. She didn’t tell Layla she was leaving and that sent Layla into depression, and that was good, because they weren’t tackling the issue of physical health with her cerebral palsy, so they used Layla to tackle the issue of mental health. I like to think this level of awareness inspired the serious episodes of Tracy Beaker Returns, such as the lesbians and showing us actual child abuse. She could be higher, but she’s a tad boring beyond that, and, as she once famously said, life’s a bitch.

[LukeB]

Hayley is way too low :oh:

tbh it's been like 10 years since i watched this

[LukeB]

Ant i hate you for making me feel old.

[LukeB]

(not really :flowers:)

[Jason.]

Spoiler: Roxy wins

https://i.redd.it/j6eo0zpwmkt11.jpg

[LukeB]

Spoiler: Roxy wins

https://i.redd.it/j6eo0zpwmkt11.jpg

Tea :laugh2:

[Marsh.]

making me feel old.

Yes, dear, you look it.

[LukeB]

Yes, dear, you look it.

That's rich coming from you :idc: you look 90

[Marsh.]

You got new wrinkles, I count 'em!

http://i.imgur.com/V8ODXiG.gif

[Ant.]

Hayley is way too low :oh:

tbh it's been like 10 years since i watched this

she didn't do anything and her actress couldn't act!
Layla: oi why didn't you tell me you were leavin' :bawling:
Hayley: i was sad :| -wipes a dry eye-

(not really :flowers:)

:love:

Spoiler: Roxy wins

https://i.redd.it/j6eo0zpwmkt11.jpg

A close or accurate prediction? You decide!

[Ant.]

You got new wrinkles, I count 'em!

http://i.imgur.com/V8ODXiG.gif

:joker:

[Ant.]

26. Ben Batambuze - Series 1-2
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/794250783374114817/uExRLewW_200x200.jpg

Our Ben shown us boys and girls could be friends! He was a bit sexist but that was compensated for when he twisted his ankle climbing down from a treehouse. Also he didn’t tell Tracy he was ****ing off to Boarding School but Tracy just wasn’t bothered. I like to think he tried to hit her up during Tracy Beaker Returns but saw she was getting black dick from someone else and bottled it. Or he died and got sent to the Wizarding World. Ah well, he’s GONE!

[Ant.]

no one really cares for Ben huh x

[LukeB]

she didn't do anything and her actress couldn't act!
Layla: oi why didn't you tell me you were leavin' :bawling:
Hayley: i was sad :| -wipes a dry eye-


Best moment ever

[RileyH]

Also he didn’t tell Tracy he was ****ing off to Boarding School but Tracy just wasn’t bothered.

a mood

[Ant.]

Best moment ever

The scene where Layla just waves at her through the window as Hayley drives away and never comes back :love: bye bye Hayley!

[Ant.]

omg remember when she tried to put a pic of her mum in the time capsule

girl looked like she was playing poker with how stiff that face was!

[Ant.]

25. Adele Azupadi (Series 1-2)
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1691255042/adeleissexyxo_200x200.jpg

She was a basic gal who liked going to concerts but she was OUR basic gal! She was a two-timer but we love her regardless. But objectively that makes her bad! It’s like all my awful qualities physically manifested into some orphan gal called Adele. And I hate her for it. Go in the corner and think about what you’ve done.

[Black Dagger]

Adele is top 10 you bitch.

The episode where her and Jenny scoff custard creams. Iconic.

[RileyH]

Adele ROBBED she made me want a bedsit

[Ant.]

Adele is top 10 you bitch.

The episode where her and Jenny scoff custard creams. Iconic.

I might do some shuffling I'm so indecisive :bawling:

[Ant.]

Guess I needed to cull a good character to rake those viewers in x

[Ant.]

24. Louise Goven (Series 1-3)
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/473874539521540096/MJXPWxPE_200x200.jpeg

What a nasty BITCH of a girl! She couldn’t decide if she was best friends with Tracy or Justine. I remember when I was nine I had a best friend who couldn’t decide if he liked me more or this other **** more. It really ****ed me over because I hated the other one and he smelt so me and my friends used to tickle him. I can’t find him on Facebook so maybe he’s dead and in which case I win and I’m Tracy Beaker and he’s Justine Littlewood. Didn’t she lie and say her foster parents were abusive just so Tracy and Justine wouldn’t get jealous? A problematic gal! But since she was feisty we gotta rank her high. If she wasn’t playing Switzerland for half the saga she WOULD be higher but bitch just couldn’t pick a side huh?
I'm now doing HINTS!!!
dun dun dun... another blonde bits the dust

[LukeB]

I think Louise was a lesbian and had a crush on Justine.

[RileyH]

I HATED this bitch https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/473874539521540096/MJXPWxPE_200x200.jpeg

[Ant.]

I think Louise was a lesbian and had a crush on Justine.

She had a boyfriend but she clearly only got with him because she wanted a rebound after she left her girlfriend Justine with the orphans!

[Ant.]

Shall we say goodbye to one more?

[RileyH]

yes x

[Ant.]

Too bad x

[RileyH]

:oh:

[Ant.]

oh wow it turns out i already cut that bitch louise?

[Ant.]

23. Layla (Series 3-5)
https://imgur.com/BFkmlC2.jpg

What a scream. I can’t think of much about what she did. Maybe she should’ve been more interesting?

All I remember is her getting snaked out by Hayley. We all give Hayley **** for it but given how lovely Hayley was, maybe Layla was a bad, controlling friend behind the scenes, and Hayley was glad to see her go?

"Give me your pocket money or that bear with galloshes you carry round GETS IT!" Layla threatens, invigorated by Roxy flushing her dolls down the toilet.

Poor Layla is known for the crude memes about her making rounds online. But that's it. She had a cute big brother/little sister relationship with Bouncer but she was always just there for 3 seasons, in the background occasionally being tormented by M*chael or Roxy.

At least we can do one thing for Layla that her best friend didn't do - say goodbye. Everyone say bye Layla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's big... he's round...

[Ant.]

a ****ing mess at me only doing 11 ranks in 4 months

this is taking longer than Tracy Beaker was in care!