A question for the Gays

[Smithy]

How many straight male friends do you have? And do you always feel comfortable if you meet a new group of people where there are straight guys?

[Cal.]

I only have a couple of straight male friends. 3 to be exact that I’d class as a ‘friend’. And all of them I’ve only met through serving them at work and them being regulars lmao. I’m not particularly comfortable nor uncomfortable around straight guys they’re just the same as any other stranger you meet imo.

[Cal.]

Daniel-X is one of the strangest cases I’ve ever come across mind. So gay he might as well be a girl but has a whole group of straight lad mates who he mostly prefers to the girlies!

[Oliver_W]

Most of my friends are straight guys tbh

[Smithy]

I only have a couple of straight male friends. 3 to be exact that I’d class as a ‘friend’. And all of them I’ve only met through serving them at work and them being regulars lmao. I’m not particularly comfortable nor uncomfortable around straight guys they’re just the same as any other stranger you meet imo.
So I’m guessing you have a majority of female friends? So is that through choice or coincidence? :think:
Daniel-X is one of the strangest cases I’ve ever come across mind. So gay he might as well be a girl but has a whole group of straight lad mates who he mostly prefers to the girlies!
:skull: what on earth

[Liam-]

I’ve always had a decent mixture of female and male friends but my male friends have always been straight and I’ve always been comfortable with that tbh

[Cal.]

So I’m guessing you have a majority of female friends? So is that through choice or coincidence? :think:

:skull: what on earth

Yeah about 90% are female lmao. I think a bit of both. I just get on with and have more in common with females and other gays.

[Twosugars]

Have lots of straight friends. No problems apart from occasional teasing.
Homophobes don't get to be my friends obvs.

[Twosugars]

How many straight male friends do you have? And do you always feel comfortable if you meet a new group of people where there are straight guys?

What do you mean? Uncomfortable bc of potential homophobia or that you try to be discrete checking them out?

[Cal.]

I don’t even get along with the straights on here besides Marsh and Marc and both of them might as well be part of the girlies!

[Smithy]

What do you mean? Uncomfortable bc of potential homophobia or that you try to be discrete checking them out?

Yeah the potential homophobia

I had straight friends in high school (but I went to an all boys school so didn’t have much chance) and after I left I didn’t really keep in contact with any of them.

My first couple of jobs in retail it was 90% female staff and it’s only in the past year where it’s been an even balance of men and women, I think cause I’ve been around women for so long now, it’s almost like I’m used to not being around men fnnfnfb

[reece(:]

Had a few at uni, none now because I don't really see them

Guess the girls and gays win!

[Smithy]

I think I’m asking cuz I met a couple of straight (rugby :eyes:) guys at the gym and I was just really surprised at how nice they were :joker:

[Elliot]

I mostly get on with ppl with similar interests and sense of humour, who tend to be female or slightly feminine guys. My best best friend is a straight white guy tho, has mostly straight white guy friends and not many similar traits other than love for video games.


I’m uncomfortable meeting new people where I live in general tbh. It’s quite a rough area filled with a lot of nasty people. As a result people in big groups give me anxiety in general. All my close friends are from elsewhere. And the most homophobic people I’ve met in my life happened to be women lmao

[Cal.]

Had a few at uni, none now because I don't really see them

Guess the girls and gays win!

Not the I’m a bit bi guy?

[Daniel.]

Got thre straight male friends who put up with me talking about my latests stories all the time, not uncomfortable at all. One did come out with me to a gay club and had to leave tho lol

[reece(:]

Not the I’m a bit bi guy?

I haven't been friends with him for about 4 years :skull: that one's a long story!

[Cal.]

I haven't been friends with him for about 4 years :skull: that one's a long story!

Ha harrowing coming out in the club loos to the sound of Pretty Green Eyes ended the friendship?

[Ant.]

I used to be best friends with a hetty but he's an awful person so we don't talk now!

so I'm down to one straight male friend :p

[Twosugars]

Yeah the potential homophobia

I had straight friends in high school (but I went to an all boys school so didn’t have much chance) and after I left I didn’t really keep in contact with any of them.

My first couple of jobs in retail it was 90% female staff and it’s only in the past year where it’s been an even balance of men and women, I think cause I’ve been around women for so long now, it’s almost like I’m used to not being around men fnnfnfb

I temped in a very macho office for a few years and it was hard work at times. But in the end rewarding. Tried answering all the questions which were many. Some were standoffish but majority wasn't hostile, just wanted to crack a joke sometimes. As I say, it was rewarding bc I was able to, erm, put them straight about gay stuff.

[Cal.]

I haven't been friends with him for about 4 years :skull: that one's a long story!

NOT 4 years.

I’m so old now :(

[reece(:]

Ha harrowing coming out in the club loos to the sound of Pretty Green Eyes ended the friendship?
Over the wetherspoons table sis!
NOT 4 years.

I’m so old now :(

A scary prospect, 5 years since hearing about Germ's sugar daddies on call

[Daniel.]

Over the wetherspoons table sis!


A scary prospect, 5 years since hearing about Germ's sugar daddies on call

Not the engagement

[user104658]

All the gayz (and in fact... people of all orientations) I know have a mix of friends. But then, I *am* a straight male so maybe the ones who don't have mixed groups of friends are avoiding me :omgno:.

But yeah: One of my oldest & best friends is gay and it's never been any sort of an issue. But then, I knew him for years before he came out (although it was not a surprise) and also I'm not exactly a "lad" :hehe:. That said, another of our friends from school was a classic "lad's lad waaayyyy" and the two of them were basically bezzies from about age 18 - 22. Not seen him for years though, he went off the rails a bit :umm2:.

[Cal.]

AAHHHHH when that HIV poz guy proposed to germyle live on call

[Twosugars]

For me, the bigger issue than hostility was when I was single and some of my straight (and doable) male friends were so chilled out about it all that I started getting ideas. So started flirting until I realized I was barking up the wrong tree.

[Daniel.]

Remember the longest shower in history

[Cal.]

For me, the bigger issue than hostility was when I was single and some of my straight (and doable) male friends were so chilled out about it all that I started getting ideas. So started flirting until I realized I was barking the wrong tree.

I’m so ugly this happens to me with gay guys

[Cal.]

Remember the longest shower in history

Crab claws FLEW

[Smithy]

I’m uncomfortable meeting new people where I live in general tbh. It’s quite a rough area filled with a lot of nasty people. As a result people in big groups give me anxiety in general. All my close friends are from elsewhere. And the most homophobic people I’ve met in my life happened to be women lmao
I think if i got homophobic abuse from a woman I could take it bc I’d just turn round and say her hair and contouring was ****, or smn like that, but don’t think that’s gonna work on a man
I temped in a very macho office for a few years and it was hard work at times. But in the end rewarding. Tried answering all the questions which were many. Some were standoffish but majority wasn't hostile, just wanted to crack a joke sometimes. As I say, it was rewarding bc I was able to, erm, put them straight about gay stuff.
Thinking about work, there’s only one guy whose given me an issue or made comments that have been sly digs and I guess that’s just what I expect from every guy :skull:

[Daniel.]

To the straights

I used to have a friend like five years ago who qould randomly kiss me on nights out and walked me home holding hands etc who said he was comfortable but idk it seemed a bit much

I mean how comfortable is comfortable

[Moniqua]

i'm at an all boys school so i'm cordial with a lot of str8's

my only close friend is gay however :dazzler:

[Smithy]

To the straights

I used to have a friend like five years ago who qould randomly kiss me on nights out and walked me home holding hands etc who said he was comfortable but idk it seemed a bit much

I mean how comfortable is comfortable

Sounds like Marsh

[user104658]

To the straights

I used to have a friend like five years ago who qould randomly kiss me on nights out and walked me home holding hands etc who said he was comfortable but idk it seemed a bit much

I mean how comfortable is comfortable

I would say he's likely bi or at least fancied giving it a go. I do know a guy that thought he'd try out "being bi" until it actually started going somewhere with one guy and then he was like "WAIT err I think I'm actually straight after all" and ran off.

And then he outed the guy to a load of people before he was ready. But that's another (horrible) story :umm2:.

[Twosugars]

Thinking about work, there’s only one guy whose given me an issue or made comments that have been sly digs and I guess that’s just what I expect from every guy :skull:

There's always one **** like that everywhere.
I think we are lucky bc it's getting better. Gays in the media help and straight men have realized we're not a threat to them. You've seen yourself with the rugby guys. I think this is becoming a new norm.

[Twosugars]

i'm at an all boys school so i'm cordial with a lot of str8's

my only close friend is gay however :dazzler:

how cordial? :suspect:

[user104658]

Sounds like Marsh

Marshogyny only likes the D because he hates women and doesn't have any other choice when he wants to get his willy wet.

[user104658]

how cordial? :suspect:

https://media.giphy.com/media/11EeeDB7h41rdm/giphy.gif

[Smithy]

There's always one **** like that everywhere.
I think we are lucky bc it's getting better. Gays in the media help and straight men have realized we're not a threat to them. You've seen yourself with the rugby guys. I think this is becoming a new norm.

Yeah, both jobs I’ve had over here has had one person like that.

Does it get better or do we just get better at dealing with it/used to it? :think:

[Ant.]

When I fell out with my straight friend he started accusing me on having a crush on him which was always wild bc he knew I was dating someone so I just sorta huffed like "lmao guess the straights can't handle being friends with a gay guy!" and it was always a wild thing for him to believe given the fact we werent even affectionate at all. Like he'd see me snog a gal friend knowing full well it means nothing and me and him wouldn't even hug. someone accused him of homophobia like "just cuz Ant's gay doesn't mean he's crushing on you YA HOMOPHOBE!!" like thanks queen x

on the topic of homophobic abuse, i got called a ****** while i was out by a guy and I wanted to cry :bawling: what a nasty het boy

[Ant.]

Yeah, both jobs I’ve had over here has had one person like that.

Does it get better or do we just get better at dealing with it/used to it? :think:

If Tomasz/Isaac is anything to go off, it is that it does, in fact, get better

[Tony Montana]

When I fell out with my straight friend he started accusing me on having a crush on him which was always wild bc he knew I was dating someone so I just sorta huffed like "lmao guess the straights can't handle being friends with a gay guy!" and it was always a wild thing for him to believe given the fact we werent even affectionate at all. Like he'd see me snog a gal friend knowing full well it means nothing and me and him wouldn't even hug. someone accused him of homophobia like "just cuz Ant's gay doesn't mean he's crushing on you YA HOMOPHOBE!!" like thanks queen x

on the topic of homophobic abuse, i got called a ****** while i was out by a guy and I wanted to cry :bawling: what a nasty het boy

Should've kicked his ****ing head in Anthony!

[Moniqua]

how cordial? :suspect:

cordial to the point when they inevitably say something problematic (happens a lot)

i've blacklisted HEAPS of str8's during lunchtime discussions including;

"i'M whItE BuT i caN StiLL saY tHe N wOrd"
"F*ggot this, and F*ggot that"
"Women are property"

deadass everybody bar the asians at my school have said some fooked up problematic **** at one point or other

[Ant.]

I remember being really upset bc on my second day of high school I got called gay and when a high school team I was in found out we would be going away one of the guys said to my face "ugh if we're sharing rooms I'm not sharing with Ant because... yknow" and like. We'd be in separate beds. He'd know if I tried to do anything. And I think he knew that I wouldn't do anything bc he was clearly saying it as a jab and not like a concern like "oh ant's gonna feel me up!!" like. ok. in fact on that trip a teacher (who was drunk) asked me if i was gay like. huh

[Ant.]

Should've kicked his ****ing head in Anthony!

I was gonna but my boyfriend already flipped him off and they got angry and I was like "we're in the middle of a retail park and he's wanting a response so I won't give him one" but I got home and I swear I was nearly crying which was dramatic bc I never get insecure about my sexuality

[Ant.]

it was so weird after I left high school bc I met straight guys and they weren't repulsed about me at all which was kinda sad bc I've just grown up with straight guys doing jabs at me. The only guy friends I did have ended up being gay so I never really had a friendship with a straight guy and it was really weird bc being friends with a straight gu is different from being friends with a straight girl/any girl. Like with my gal pals I'd kiss them and hug them and be really affectionate and say "i love u!!!" and I just didn't feel comfortable doing that with a straight guy. And I'm a p affectionate person and even with my gay guy friends we've talked about how much we've platonically loved each other and been up all night talking and it's never meant anything romantically. It's just weird how I don't feel comfortable doing that w/ the straights

[Tony Montana]

I was gonna but my boyfriend already flipped him off and they got angry and I was like "we're in the middle of a retail park and he's wanting a response so I won't give him one" but I got home and I swear I was nearly crying which was dramatic bc I never get insecure about my sexuality

Aww I'm sorry to hear that :hug: That guy was probably a closeted gay himself and was attempting to impress his friends.

[Twosugars]

Tbf some straights still find us disgusting but those are usually ****ed up about sex and/or gender identity so :shrug: We are only one of many other problems they have.

[Elliot]

cordial to the point when they inevitably say something problematic (happens a lot)

i've blacklisted HEAPS of str8's during lunchtime discussions including;

"i'M whItE BuT i caN StiLL saY tHe N wOrd"
"F*ggot this, and F*ggot that"
"Women are property"

deadass everybody bar the asians at my school have said some fooked up problematic **** at one point or other

Same. They used to joke about it in some classes too and never get told off or picked up on it either...

[Liam-]

Straights that can have conversations with you about guys like they do with fellow straights and girls are the best

[Elliot]

Straights that can have conversations with you about guys like they do with fellow straights and girls are the best

Doubt these exist

[Smithy]

Straights that can have conversations with you about guys like they do with fellow straights and girls are the best

I was in the jacuzzi at the gym with these rugby lads and they were talking about girls they like and then they got me involved asking what the equivalent of a tits girls is with gays, what kind of guys I like and then if I like bum boys (he realized what he said and then quickly corrected himself to ass guys) it was so cute :bawling::bawling::bawling:

[Liam-]

Doubt these exist

They do, I’ve known some!

[Liam-]

I was in the jacuzzi at the gym with these rugby lads and they were talking about girls they like and then they got me involved asking what the equivalent of a tits girls is with gays, what kind of guys I like and then if I like bum boys (he realized what he said and then quickly corrected himself to ass guys) it was so cute :bawling::bawling::bawling:

Inclusive straights are adorable, especially if they’re new to it :love:

They can go too far though, one of mine once asked me about rimming and I zoned out like, no ma’am google that.

[Smithy]

Inclusive straights are adorable, especially if they’re new to it :love:

They can go too far though, one of mine once asked me about rimming and I zoned out like, no ma’am google that.

:laugh2:

[Moniqua]

does this thread apply to the ones still in t'closet ??

[Cherie]

we love an inclusive thread

[Smithy]

does this thread apply to the ones still in t'closet ??
I guess so, how you feel in general around straight men and if you’d feel comfortable to be out around them? :think:
we love an inclusive thread

Oh poor you not being able to give your opinion or being able to relate to our oppression:sad:

[Cherie]

I guess so, how you feel in general around straight men and if you’d feel comfortable to be out around them? :think:


Oh poor you not being able to give your opinion on our oppression:sad:

Yes its dreadful you poor person

[Twosugars]

we love an inclusive thread

don't be nasty

some threads address people with particular experiences

[Ant.]

Aww I'm sorry to hear that :hug: That guy was probably a closeted gay himself and was attempting to impress his friends.

It wouldn't surprise me :joker: there's this one homophobe I know who's camp as fook. Not trying to stereotype but I've seen twinks stroll in pickle park with less flamboyancy

[Oliver_W]

Maybe it's because I don't necessarily "seem" gay but it's never been an issue, to the point I don't even know why it would be, if that makes sense?

in fact on that trip a teacher (who was drunk) asked me if i was gay like. huh
tbh that's a safeguarding issue - adults who are responsible for kids shouldn't be drinking, and that's completely inappropriate to ask.
(I'm not throwing accusations around, but any other adult who heard that would be obligated to report it)

[Ant.]

tbh that's a safeguarding issue - adults who are responsible for kids shouldn't be drinking, and that's completely inappropriate to ask.
(I'm not throwing accusations around, but any other adult who heard that would be obligated to report it)

There was another teacher with her :joker: they were the only teachers on the trip with us. I actually found it kinda funny.

We were all 14/15 and they told us to go find some restaurant to eat at and they both went to a pub to watch the football :skull: then we went back to the accommodation and she kept using gay as an insult so she turns to me like "Ant does that offend you? Are you... yknow?"

[Oliver_W]

There was another teacher with her :joker: they were the only teachers on the trip with us. I actually found it kinda funny.

We were all 14/15 and they told us to go find some restaurant to eat at and they both went to a pub to watch the football :skull: then we went back to the accommodation and she kept using gay as an insult so she turns to me like "Ant does that offend you? Are you... yknow?"

Oh okay, that kind of puts a different slant on it :joker:

[Ant.]

Oh okay, that kind of puts a different slant on it :joker:

I still don't think the headteacher would've been fine with what happened :laugh:

[Oliver_W]

I still don't think the headteacher would've been fine with what happened :laugh:

Maybe not, tbh I still disapprove with the drinking around kids :nono: but then I'm practically Mother Superior about these things, so

[Marsh.]

I don’t even get along with the straights on here besides Marsh and Marc and both of them might as well be part of the girlies!

:smug:

[Lostie!]

I've never really had gay friends until my last job (and while I'm still in touch with him we don't really see each other), my social circles have always consisted of girls and straight guys.

Doubt these exist

Lol of course they do. One of them is my oldest friend actually, we've been friends since we were 4 and he has a gay cousin too so he's ridiculously comfortable discussing anything with me, even suggesting we go to the gay village on a future night out because I've never been to a gay club and he wants to help me get a boyfriend :joker:

[Shaun]

At school we were pretty much half and half (I went to an all-boys school): there were about 8 of us in our circle of friends and 4 of us have come out as gay or bi since school. The other 4 were/are straight. It's never been an issue lol

Of my friends now I still would say it's about half-half. I only really begin to shut out straight guys if I pick up a sense that they are weird around me, or judging me, or are just flat-out homophobic :laugh: Otherwise I don't really see why this thread would be a question.

[TomC]

If I'm completely honest, I find straight guys kinda hard. It's probably more due to my own insecurity/paranoia. I had male friends at school in the closet :skull: At uni ALL of my closest friends are female (like my 10 closest uni friends at least probs) but I do have some male friends and get on w males great in the right circumstances. I think I'm almost more self-conscious because I have so many female friends?

[Twosugars]

Yeah, both jobs I’ve had over here has had one person like that.

Does it get better or do we just get better at dealing with it/used to it? :think:

Deffo getting better.
I mean, take just one fact: all opinion polls say vast majority agrees with gay marriages. Something like that would be unthinkable years ago and suggest a sea change in opinions on gays.

[Wizard.]

AAHHHHH when that HIV poz guy proposed to germyle live on call

that's not nice

[Wizard.]

anyway I don't have friends

[Marsh.]

Sounds like Marsh

:joker:

[Gstar]

:skull: @ the live call

All my friends are mostly girls and gays