View Full Version : At what age should kids be taught about anal sex?
And what are the best ways to approach it.
Vicky.
14-05-2019, 10:05 PM
:laugh: Guessing this was prompted by my post in the Arthur thread?
I would say maybe early teens, but not as in, positions or anything (D: ) but like, how to do it safely. Same as how I think vaginal sex should be 'taught' really.
Matthew.
14-05-2019, 10:07 PM
The answer is the same time as we tell them about vaginal and oral sex
⬆️
GiRTh
14-05-2019, 10:08 PM
No, never. People need to find these things out for themselves and not be under pressure to do certain things cuz they've seen them in porn or have been told about.
Well..this is the way I see it...
If we do actually teach them about it...we are teaching them about sticking a penis up a **** hole....pause and think about that for a bit..
And do the teachers end the lesson by rounding off with...but it's ok for mummy and daddy to do it as well.
And do the teachers end the lesson by rounding off with...but it's ok for mummy and daddy to do it as well.
if I was a teacher I'd start with that :)
Withano
14-05-2019, 10:27 PM
The same time they get taught about STD’s hopefully (year 9 iirc)
armand.kay
14-05-2019, 10:34 PM
I would be in the strictly thread if I was drunk...perhaps you should stop.being so bloody rude to people.
nobody in their right mind makes a thread about teaching kids the in's and outs of anal sex...
If we do actually teach them about it...we are teaching them about sticking a penis up a **** hole....pause and think about that for a bit..
???
The same time they get taught about STD’s hopefully (year 9 iirc)
Good point actually...a very very good point..what age is year nine then because that is clearly a discussion that it could be brought up in and an age I would agree with.
nobody in their right mind makes a thread about teaching kids the in's and outs of anal sex...
???
This isn't about teaching them about the ins nor the outs of it...but I share your concerns to an extent.
:laugh: Guessing this was prompted by my post in the Arthur thread?
I would say maybe early teens, but not as in, positions or anything (D: ) but like, how to do it safely. Same as how I think vaginal sex should be 'taught' really.
Random thing I learnt recently about sex ed..seems theres actually a bit of a push on right now for teachers to focus more on the 'pleasure' side of things when doing sex ed in general. I know some seem to think this is the 'progressive' way to go, but honestly it makes me feel a bit ill. And I think any teacher who would be happy with doing a sex ed lesson with, say 14 year olds and being willing to tell them what positions to try and tell them what you find pleasurable and stuff..should be nowhere ****ing near any classroom.
Of course pleasure is an important part of (good) sex however, I do not think its appopriate at all to go into stuff like that with underage people. Prudish of me, maybe but..ugh no.
That must be very recent, I think I finished looking at Sex Ed 4 years ago and we didn't talk about how sex could be enjoyable. I agree with you completely, I don't think it's necessary, and I really don't think it's appropriate to detail it in such a way. Saying "it should be enjoyable" is good! But to discuss positions is... wow
(Bearing in mind I went to a Catholic school, so if it has been something introduced in the past few years I wouldn't put it past me for mine to completely omit it)
On that note, I remember I was thinking "uhm are you allowed to do that?" when my friend wrote about anal sex (which we weren't taught) in his sex ed essay
I wonder what the curriculum is for sex ed in non-Catholic schools. Our sex ed was split across Biology (we did a few lessons on it in Year 7) and then everything else (ethics, STIs, consent, law, etc) in Religious Studies (and of course, Christian attitudes to contraception). And even then I don't remember any sex ed from Year 7 Biology, just most the class in uproar because the teacher said "penis" and she said "it's okay I'll let you all laugh about it for a minute".
I really think I/we should've been taught about anal sex when contraception came up. We barely even talked about how condoms help prevent the transmission of STIs because our teacher was so religious she was against talking about and encouraging artificial contraception :skull: there does seem to be a myth still that gay people can just, not use a condom because they can't get pregnant, and it would've helped if they sat with us and said, "use one. You will probably get STIs without them")
:laugh: Guessing this was prompted by my post in the Arthur thread?
I would say maybe early teens, but not as in, positions or anything (D: ) but like, how to do it safely. Same as how I think vaginal sex should be 'taught' really.
Would you teach it to teenage girls Vicky?
The same time they get taught about STD’s hopefully (year 9 iirc)
This
The sex ed I learnt in first year completely went out my head (and not to play Devil's advocate, but if sex ed is being taught as part of Biology like I was, is it really Biology?) whereas I can remember a lot of the contraception and STD talks in year 9. And that's not by virtue of it being more recent - when I was learning about contraception and STIs in Year 9 I had forgotten all of the Year 7 content. It's certainly more relevant at the age of 13/14 than 11/12
Withano
14-05-2019, 10:41 PM
Good point actually...a very very good point..what age is year nine then because that is clearly a discussion that it could be brought up in and an age I would agree with.
year 9 is 13-14 years old.
It’s either year 8 or 9 they learn about STD’s, cba to look up curriculums - maybe someone else knows the answer.
That must be very recent, I think I finished looking at Sex Ed 4 years ago and we didn't talk about how sex could be enjoyable. I agree with you completely, I don't think it's necessary, and I really don't think it's appropriate to detail it in such a way. Saying "it should be enjoyable" is good! But to discuss positions is... wow
(Bearing in mind I went to a Catholic school, so if it has been something introduced in the past few years I wouldn't put it past me for mine to completely omit it)
On that note, I remember I was thinking "uhm are you allowed to do that?" when my friend wrote about anal sex (which we weren't taught) in his sex ed essay
I wonder what the curriculum is for sex ed in non-Catholic schools. Our sex ed was split across Biology (we did a few lessons on it in Year 7) and then everything else (ethics, STIs, consent, law, etc) in Religious Studies (and of course, Christian attitudes to contraception). And even then I don't remember any sex ed from Year 7 Biology, just most the class in uproar because the teacher said "penis" and she said "it's okay I'll let you all laugh about it for a minute".
I really think I/we should've been taught about anal sex when contraception came up. We barely even talked about how condoms help prevent the transmission of STIs because our teacher was so religious she was against talking about and encouraging artificial contraception :skull: there does seem to be a myth still that gay people can just, not use a condom because they can't get pregnant, and it would've helped if they sat with us and said, "use one. You will probably get STIs without them")
I love that post ant...see when everyone giggled at the word penis.......that was my sex education at school...
And maybe when some stranger popped thier cold hand down my y fronts to cup my balls before asking me to cough as my nervous classmates lined up behind me shivering nervously in thier pants.
Vicky.
14-05-2019, 10:42 PM
That must be very recent, I think I finished looking at Sex Ed 4 years ago and we didn't talk about how sex could be enjoyable. I agree with you completely, I don't think it's necessary, and I really don't think it's appropriate to detail it in such a way. Saying "it should be enjoyable" is good! But to discuss positions is... wow
(Bearing in mind I went to a Catholic school, so if it has been something introduced in the past few years I wouldn't put it past me for mine to completely omit it)
I removed that bit so as to not make the thread offtopic, given my post that varied slightly from the thread topic in another thread was the reason this thread was created to start with D:
Its not being taught exactly. Theres a fair bit of noise online and from prominent campaigners to 're-do' sex ed including stuff such as mastubration techniques (seriously :umm2: ) and stuff. I find it dodgy as hell, but when I said this, I was told I was being close minded and 'sex-negative' so was kind of on my mind anyway and then sort of fit the thread but sort of didnt too. Removed after clicking onto how this will likely go, and might make a seperate thread for that tomorrow when I have actually had some sleep as not slept for ages now
Think I will log off in a sec as I seem to be..causing issues all over today D: Plus, I really really do need to sleep lol
Surely the modern day father can take on the role of the masterbation technique teacher...he could even add tips on how to avoid the beard.
Yeas, no?
armand.kay
14-05-2019, 10:49 PM
The sex ed I learnt in first year completely went out my head (and not to play Devil's advocate, but if sex ed is being taught as part of Biology like I was, is it really Biology?) whereas I can remember a lot of the contraception and STD talks in year 9. And that's not by virtue of it being more recent - when I was learning about contraception and STIs in Year 9 I had forgotten all of the Year 7 content. It's certainly more relevant at the age of 13/14 than 11/12
imo my school handled it all pretty well. We had science lessons in year 6 and 7 that taught us about sex as a means of reproduction. In year 7 and 9 we had an external group come in and teach us about consent, contraception, safe sex and std's basically sex from a less clinical perspective. They also had an office in school where you could go and speak to them about any concerns you may have etc they also gave out c-cards.
Vicky.
14-05-2019, 10:50 PM
Would you teach it to teenage girls Vicky?
It depends what you mean by teach it I guess.
If I was in the unfortunate position of being stuck doing sex ed, I would bring up anal sex and how to be safe when doing it. As its surely better that they know this than don't. Even moreso these days, when porn is more prominent than ever and teen girls seem even more under pressure than they ever were to do stuff like anal sex. Thats kind of..based on what my stepdaughter says rather than any actual studies or anything though. Seems basically, teen girls are expected/pressured to be like porn stars, to do what porn stars do and do all the grooming and stuff also. Apparently 'everyone does anal' and even...choking has came up from boys in her year. Asked about brazillians and such...its really quite awful, especially if its widespread. I remember being under pressure at her age, however it was never for all this porny stuff. Then again, porn wasn't so readily available when I was a teen so :shrug:
(Obviously not saying anal is only for porn stars. Incase its taken that way)
I removed that bit so as to not make the thread offtopic, given my post that varied slightly from the thread topic in another thread was the reason this thread was created to start with D:
Its not being taught exactly. Theres a fair bit of noise online and from prominent campaigners to 're-do' sex ed including stuff such as mastubration techniques (seriously :umm2: ) and stuff. I find it dodgy as hell, but when I said this, I was told I was being close minded and 'sex-negative' so was kind of on my mind anyway and then sort of fit the thread but sort of didnt too. Removed after clicking onto how this will likely go, and might make a seperate thread for that tomorrow when I have actually had some sleep as not slept for ages now
Think I will log off in a sec as I seem to be..causing issues all over today D: Plus, I really really do need to sleep lol
Oh flip do you want me to edit my response? (I'm only asking because it seems to have carried on in your message here :joker:)
I completely agree with you. As far as I know there's no 'wrong' way to masturbate, so it shouldn't be taught imo, it's unnecessary and a bit... disturbing to talk about with kids (plus I can't imagine how some of the kids would feel)
Get some sleep but I don't think you're causing any issues :laugh: especially if you think this is one
It depends what you mean by teach it I guess.
If I was in the unfortunate position of being stuck doing sex ed, I would bring up anal sex and how to be safe when doing it. As its surely better that they know this than don't. Even moreso these days, when porn is more prominent than ever and teen girls seem even more under pressure than they ever were to do stuff like anal sex. Thats kind of..based on what my stepdaughter says rather than any actual studies or anything though. Seems basically, teen girls are expected/pressured to be like porn stars, to do what porn stars do and do all the grooming and stuff also. Apparently 'everyone does anal' and even...choking has came up from boys in her year. Asked about brazillians and such...its really quite awful, especially if its widespread. I remember being under pressure at her age, however it was never for all this porny stuff. Then again, porn wasn't so readily available when I was a teen so :shrug:
(Obviously not saying anal is only for porn stars. Incase its taken that way)
Urghhh...That's what I mean. ..if you teach it to the full curriculum then you have to tech it to teenage girls...it's a bit like....sorry girls, but your going to have to brace yourself.
I feel really uneasy about the role they will have to play in such valued lessons.
Vicky.
14-05-2019, 10:55 PM
Oh flip do you want me to edit my response? (I'm only asking because it seems to have carried on in your message here :joker:)
I completely agree with you. As far as I know there's no 'wrong' way to masturbate, so it shouldn't be taught imo, it's unnecessary and a bit... disturbing to talk about with kids (plus I can't imagine how some of the kids would feel)
Get some sleep but I don't think you're causing any issues :laugh: especially if you think this is one
Up to you, you seem to have put a fair bit of effort into the reply though so it seems a bit daft to waste it? And its already inspired other discussion too. Plus, keeping a thread specifically about one kind of sex seems a bit, restrictive anyway so surely different stuff would be brought up at some stage anyway..
Will have a look at the thread/forum in the morning and decide what to do with it all as really not in the best headspace right now :laugh: Really hope it doesnt all end up kicking off given its kind of my fault!
Will prob make a thread on the 'teaching pleasure' thing though, as while its mainly online chatter at the moment, it has been drawn up by a prominent campaigner, and apparently as a random 'fun fact' has been backed by Stephen Fry too. Though what relevance that has to anything I don't know Will read up more on it anyway, before posting to be sure I have understood it all right..
Night (:
imo my school handled it all pretty well. We had science lessons in year 6 and 7 that taught us about sex as a means of reproduction. In year 7 and 9 we had an external group come in and teach us about consent, contraception, safe sex and std's basically sex from a less clinical perspective. They also had an office in school where you could go and speak to them about any concerns you may have etc they also gave out c-cards.
I'm so uneducated on it all I had to google what a c-card is :skull:
We learnt about is as a mean of reproduction in year 7, same as you, but that was it. We only learnt about consent, contraception, safe sex and std's in Year 9, but there was some bias as we learnt about it from a religious aspect.
We had no office for that, and there's no office at my college... I didn't realise that was a thing, that's such a good idea
The only external help we had for consent/STIs was a drama group coming in in Year 10 and doing a drama about unsafe sex and how a girl got pregnant and decided to abort the child. For an idea as to how poorly executed it was, a girl had to leave the room because the play made her upset (she had an abortion a month before the play :( )
Just for the record......I don't give too hoots if any of my threads are taken off into another discussion....and I don't know why Vicky thinks she's causing problems either.
Up to you, you seem to have put a fair bit of effort into the reply though so it seems a bit daft to waste it? And its already inspired other discussion too. Plus, keeping a thread specifically about one kind of sex seems a bit, restrictive anyway so surely different stuff would be brought up at some stage anyway..
Will have a look at the thread/forum in the morning and decide what to do with it all as really not in the best headspace right now :laugh: Really hope it doesnt all end up kicking off given its kind of my fault!
Will prob make a thread on the 'teaching pleasure' thing though, as while its mainly online chatter at the moment, it has been drawn up by a prominent campaigner, and apparently as a random 'fun fact' has been backed by Stephen Fry too. Though what relevance that has to anything I don't know :D Will read up more on it anyway, before posting to be sure I have understood it all right..
Night (:
That post wasn't effort, it was procrastination :joker: and hmm good point. If you're sure I'll keep it up but you're free to slap my wrist if we wake up tomorrow and the tin of beans has been ripped open and spilt everywhere :worry: :joker: jokes aside, you only really said that sex ed is becoming more and more about pleasure (which is relevant to bring up when we're discussing what should and shouldn't be taught about sex ed surely?)
I look forward to reading it, mainly because a. I'll have forgotten this in the morning so seeing a thread on the side in the next few days will remind me, and b. you've got some good points already so it'll be good to see them more developed
Night (: sleep well
Amy Jade
14-05-2019, 11:12 PM
We had sex ed in year 9 (14 years old) in school which was too late really. One girl from our year was already pregnant by the time we got it and I think at 14 I was well aware really.
I can't remember if anal sex was discussed. The teacher who took our sex ed was a mess though she was discussing masturbation and asked a class full about how girls can masturbate safely at home and it literally decended into chaos of people shouting out objects to shove up your fudgie
Redway
15-05-2019, 12:09 AM
Times like this make me wish I could turn on selective amnesia.
chuff me dizzy
15-05-2019, 08:04 AM
And what are the best ways to approach it.
WTAF Parmy !!:shocked:
WTAF Parmy !!:shocked:
What..!
All.I'm saying is that if anal sex is taught in schools then it must be taught to everyone, and I think as a father myself that not very many fathers will be happy about thier 13 14 yr old daughters being taught about boys sticking thier willies up thier bums..
I don't think that's to much to ask.
thesheriff443
15-05-2019, 08:20 AM
Making threads like this, you get some members trying to make the poster out as some weirdo.
Sex education should start with this statement, firstly we are all individuals and should respect each other regardless of gender, race or sexual orientation .
Our sex Ed was showing how to put a condom on a banana I think,long time ago, and that as a girl you should not be pressured into having sex.
I do remember one girl called Emma throwing up over the floor.
thesheriff443
15-05-2019, 08:24 AM
What..!
All.I'm saying is that if anal sex is taught in schools then it must be taught to everyone, and I think as a father myself that not very many fathers will be happy about thier 13 14 yr old daughters being taught about boys sticking thier willies up thier bums..
I don't think that's to much to ask.
But in the same world some dads like to put it in the wife’s chocolate star fish.
Last sentence will see Josy lose her lunch.
But in the same world some dads like to put it in the wife’s chocolate star fish.
Last sentence will see Josy lose her lunch.
Exactly...and that's another point.....what child wants to know that mum and dad could be doing it.
thesheriff443
15-05-2019, 08:47 AM
Exactly...and that's another point.....what child wants to know that mum and dad could be doing it.
Some dads are doing it to their kids, we live in a sick world, kids are not kids for long now.
I think you would be shocked at what kids know by the age of ten.
Sit near a group of kids in McDonald’s and hear the language they are using and what they are talking about, it’s an eye opener to say the least.
Some dads are doing it to their kids, we live in a sick world, kids are not kids for long now.
I think you would be shocked at what kids know by the age of ten.
Sit near a group of kids in McDonald’s and hear the language they are using and what they are talking about, it’s an eye opener to say the least.
Well if any of them mentioned a fudgie I would be thinking they were on about the new milkshake flavours.
thesheriff443
15-05-2019, 08:54 AM
Well if any of them mentioned a fudgie I would be thinking they were on about the new milkshake flavours.
Eight and nine year olds are sending nude photos of themselves, the age of innocence is gone for most.
Eight and nine year olds are sending nude photos of themselves, the age of innocence is gone for most.
The internets ruining the world...I worry people are being brainwashed by the internet...especially kids as thier brains go through the maturing process.
Niamh.
15-05-2019, 09:01 AM
I actually think porn should be brought up in sex ed classes with teenagers, in a "don't use this as a how to manual" kind of a way. It definitely could give people unreal and unfair expectations of partners
thesheriff443
15-05-2019, 09:04 AM
The internets ruining the world...I worry people are being brainwashed by the internet...especially kids as thier brains go through the maturing process.
Unfortunately , there is a good and bad side to the internet.
You went to the nurse at my school and she gave you a c card for free condoms.
user104658
15-05-2019, 09:05 AM
Tbh I think an important part of that conversation has to be that there is no 100% safe way to have anal sex, and make it clear that you only EVER have to engage in sex acts that you enjoy and are comfortable with. Women don't "have to" have anal sex, Homosexual men don't "have to" have anal sex, and in fact I believe statistically the majority of encounters for most gay men involve manual and oral, and anal is less common (or never for many).
Basically there should obviously be no judgement for everyone enjoying whatever they want to enjoy consensually, but there are HUGE myths around anal sex being "expected" of women, and "essential" for gay men, and those are pretty damaging in themselves.
thesheriff443
15-05-2019, 09:06 AM
I actually think porn should be brought up in sex ed classes with teenagers, in a "don't use this as a how to manual" kind of a way. It definitely could give people unreal and unfair expectations of partners
I think the fashion industry needs to be held accountable for making women girls feel uncomfortable in there own bodies.
You went to the nurse at my school and she gave you a c card for free condoms.
As much as I see the need for this surely that is something only a parent should be deciding.:shrug:
user104658
15-05-2019, 09:09 AM
I actually think porn should be brought up in sex ed classes with teenagers, in a "don't use this as a how to manual" kind of a way. It definitely could give people unreal and unfair expectations of partners
Yeah it is apparently a huge problem... a major one is people (both the male and the female) believing that deep-throating is a normal part of oral :umm2:.
Also inexperienced guys thinking that the woman "clearly isn't enjoying it" if she isn't screeching and convulsing around the bed - or women believing that they have to put on that "show" to convey that they are having a good time :hehe:.
Niamh.
15-05-2019, 09:10 AM
Tbh I think an important part of that conversation has to be that there is no 100% safe way to have anal sex, and make it clear that you only EVER have to engage in sex acts that you enjoy and are comfortable with. Women don't "have to" have anal sex, Homosexual men don't "have to" have anal sex, and in fact I believe statistically the majority of encounters for most gay men involve manual and oral, and anal is less common (or never for many).
Basically there should obviously be no judgement for everyone enjoying whatever they want to enjoy consensually, but there are HUGE myths around anal sex being "expected" of women, and "essential" for gay men, and those are pretty damaging in themselves.
Yes 100%. Especially in this age where so much is available and said online, somebody needs to be telling teens that just because someone on the internet said this is what you have to do or what's expected doesn't mean you have to or that's what "everyone" does. The most important lesson should be it's your body and you do only what you're comfortable doing
user104658
15-05-2019, 09:12 AM
As much as I see the need for this surely that is something only a parent should be deciding.:shrug:
A teenager who wants to have sex isn't going to abstain because they couldn't get condoms at school. They're just going to do it anyway and end up with an STI or pregnant / getting someone pregnant. In an ideal world every kid would have understanding parents who they can talk to about these things but in the real world, there are a lot of teens who would never DREAM of talking to their parents about sex, for fear of anger / punishment, and I'd much rather those kids have somewhere to learn how to be safe / get protection elsewhere... because the alternative is unprotected sex.
The Slim Reaper
15-05-2019, 09:36 AM
Tbh I think an important part of that conversation has to be that there is no 100% safe way to have anal sex, and make it clear that you only EVER have to engage in sex acts that you enjoy and are comfortable with. Women don't "have to" have anal sex, Homosexual men don't "have to" have anal sex, and in fact I believe statistically the majority of encounters for most gay men involve manual and oral, and anal is less common (or never for many).
Basically there should obviously be no judgement for everyone enjoying whatever they want to enjoy consensually, but there are HUGE myths around anal sex being "expected" of women, and "essential" for gay men, and those are pretty damaging in themselves.
Woah, woah, woah, woah, slow down cowboy, lets not go overboard!
A teenager who wants to have sex isn't going to abstain because they couldn't get condoms at school. They're just going to do it anyway and end up with an STI or pregnant / getting someone pregnant. In an ideal world every kid would have understanding parents who they can talk to about these things but in the real world, there are a lot of teens who would never DREAM of talking to their parents about sex, for fear of anger / punishment, and I'd much rather those kids have somewhere to learn how to be safe / get protection elsewhere... because the alternative is unprotected sex.
I get your concerns but surely you would think parents would have to sign a consent form of some sort beforehand.
And come on, what on earth are schools thinking about giving out condoms in school hours..surely that's inticing children to break the law...it's weird like...bit of a catch 22 really.
user104658
15-05-2019, 09:58 AM
I get your concerns but surely you would think parents would have to sign a consent form of some sort beforehand.
And come on, what on earth are schools thinking about giving out condoms in school hours..surely that's inticing children to break the law...it's weird like...bit of a catch 22 really.
It's education, a parent consents to the education implicitly by sending children to school. You don't have to sign a consent form for children to be taught algebra or Roman history, so you don't have to sign a consent form for sex ed :shrug:.
As for "enticing", I don't think it works like that, but no I wouldn't advocate them "giving out" condoms to everyone as standard... just that they should be available for people to take freely / discreetly. Like I said the alternative is usually unprotected sex rather than abstaining. Also I'd assume we're talking about 13/14+ year olds here, not young children.
It's education, a parent consents to the education implicitly by sending children to school. You don't have to sign a consent form for children to be taught algebra or Roman history, so you don't have to sign a consent form for sex ed :shrug:.
As for "enticing", I don't think it works like that, but no I wouldn't advocate them "giving out" condoms to everyone as standard... just that they should be available for people to take freely / discreetly. Like I said the alternative is usually unprotected sex rather than abstaining. Also I'd assume we're talking about 13/14+ year olds here, not young children.
Yeah but don't you have to be 16 to legqally have sex in the uk, so by handing out the condoms to underagers the schools are actually aiding and abetting a possible crime?
user104658
15-05-2019, 10:19 AM
Yeah but don't you have to be 16 to legqally have sex in the uk, so by handing out the condoms to underagers the schools are actually aiding and abetting a possible crime?
NOt having condoms isn't going to stop them though, they'll just do it anyway with even worse consequences.
GiRTh
15-05-2019, 03:00 PM
I actually think porn should be brought up in sex ed classes with teenagers, in a "don't use this as a how to manual" kind of a way. It definitely could give people unreal and unfair expectations of partnersAgree with this. Porn is the worse teacher cuz it designed to get men off and doesn't really focus much on the women. Women can watch it to find out what men want but, ladies, if you're prepared to do all those humiliating things then good luck to you. :thumbs:
If we are to teach about anal sex then are we to teach all the preparation needed? I would really hate for teenagers to be taught about this in a blase way and would hate for any one to be pressured into performing acts they're not comfortable with.
No need for this thread or some of the comments in it.
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