Cuba Gooodin Jr Charged with Groping

[GiRTh]

1139264289418698752

[arista]

And another women from the past

[Ammi]

...he turned himself in to the police but denies the claims...?...

[bots]

...he turned himself in to the police but denies the claims...?...

maybe he was hoping for a sneaky grope?

[Oliver_W]

NYPD met with the Oscar winner after a 29-year-old woman filed a police report claiming Gooding grabbed her breast Sunday at Magic Hour Rooftop Bar & Lounge in Manhattan.

Why would you go to the police about that? I sometimes get unwanted grabs in the gaybar - I just tell them to go away and get on with the evening. I wouldn't go crying to the police.

[bots]

Why would you go to the police about that? I sometimes get unwanted grabs in the gaybar - I just tell them to go away and get on with the evening. I wouldn't go crying to the police.

and that is exactly why they think they can get away with it. It's assault, and it's about time people like this get reported for it.

[GiRTh]

1139305420487647234
Video shows she came over to him and his girlfriend and he touched her leg. She's filed that he grabbed her breast.

[Vicky.]

and that is exactly why they think they can get away with it. It's assault, and it's about time people like this get reported for it.

Indeed.

Its quite 'normal' to have random men groping you in clubs and that. I wouldn't personally report, but it does get ****ing annoying the amount of men who think ths is acceptable and I could imagine if it started happening more regularly I might complain to someone.

[GoldHeart]

1139305420487647234
Video shows she came over to him and his girlfriend and he touched her leg. She's filed that he grabbed her breast.

Once again it makes a mockery of ACTUAL assault :bored: . How did leg get changed to breast ?? :crazy: . But I know these days any kind of physical contact gets called "sexual harassment" it's ridiculous.

[Marsh.]

But I know these days any kind of physical contact gets called "sexual harassment" it's ridiculous.

:umm2:

[GoldHeart]

:umm2:

If someone innocently touches your knee or shoulder to get your attention and it gets reported as "sexual assault" do you not think that's ridiculous? Especially if no harm was ever intended .

[Marsh.]

If someone innocently touches your knee or shoulder to get your attention and it gets reported as "sexual assault" do you not think that's ridiculous? Especially if no harm was ever intended .

And I suppose you are a member of the police force who have investigated and come to that conclusion?

Or are you one of those people who are like "WOW, WE CAN'T EVEN BREATHE NOW WITHOUT BEING ACCUSED OF RAPE!" when all that needs to be done is NOT sexually harass someone else. It's pretty simple.

[GoldHeart]

And I suppose you are a member of the police force who have investigated and come to that conclusion?

Or are you one of those people who are like "WOW, WE CAN'T EVEN BREATHE NOW WITHOUT BEING ACCUSED OF RAPE!" when all that needs to be done is NOT sexually harass someone else. It's pretty simple.


Ohh here we go :facepalm:

I'm just saying these days it seems anything from a glance to a tap on the shoulder is considered "sexual harassment" .


Yes creeps are out there inappropriately touching ,but people are also getting wrongly accused & "assault" is a serious accusation.
And I'm a woman myself

[chuff me dizzy]

1139305420487647234
Video shows she came over to him and his girlfriend and he touched her leg. She's filed that he grabbed her breast.

Thank God for CCTV ...He was a bit touchy feely even with the man, but at no time did he touch her breast

[GoldHeart]

Quality potato footage :rolleyes:

I don't see a breast grope in this video, all I see is a guy who's being affectionate . And the other guy is being touchy feely with Gooding as well .

And if the woman felt uncomfortable by Gooding touching her leg ,then why didn't she tell him ? .

[Ammi]

...apparently there were ‘words’ afterwards because of the apparent touching ...but from the vid all there seems to be is hugs....?...very curious...he did touch her leg and then reached across and his hand was in the area of her breast...but it seems he was actually taking her hand....her demeanour through their encounter didn’t appear to be of ‘being inappropriately touched’....

[GoldHeart]

...apparently there were ‘words’ afterwards because of the apparent touching ...but from the vid all there seems to be is hugs....?...very curious...he did touch her leg and then reached across and his hand was in the area of her breast...but it seems he was actually taking her hand....her demeanour through their encounter didn’t appear to be of ‘being inappropriately touched’....

Exactly which I find weird & suspect on her part

[Beso]

1139305420487647234
Video shows she came over to him and his girlfriend and he touched her leg. She's filed that he grabbed her breast.

Jeez...how old was she, 68 or something.

[Marsh.]

Ohh here we go :facepalm:

Indeed. :rolleyes:

[Northern Monkey]

I’m so glad i’m settled down now.Going out on the pull would be a minefield nowadays.

[Niamh.]

I’m so glad i’m settled down now.Going out on the pull would be a minefield nowadays.Yeah can i grab a tit or not, minefield!

[GoldHeart]

I’m so glad i’m settled down now.Going out on the pull would be a minefield nowadays.

You'd get arrested just for looking at someone "the wrong way" :bored:

[Niamh.]

You'd get arrested just for looking at someone "the wrong way" :bored:Yes all those men arrested for looking left, shocking

[GoldHeart]

Yeah can i grab a tit or not, minefield!

Niamh you know it's never that clear cut these days :facepalm:

If a guy taps an arm or shoulder or walks towards a woman to get to know her , it's considered "sexual harassment" , I wish people would just say at the time if they're uncomfortable or just walk away . Not everything is a police matter.

There's actual assault & rape out there that gets overlooked because of petty stuff like this :crazy: .

[Niamh.]

Niamh you know it's never that clear cut these days :facepalm:



If a guy taps an arm or shoulder or walks towards a woman to get to know her , it's considered "sexual harassment" , I wish people would just say at the time if they're uncomfortable or just walk away . Not everything is a police matter.



There's actual assault & rape out there that gets overlooked because of petty stuff like this :crazy: .There's actual rape cases being over looked because of false claims? No there is not, don't be ridiculous. Actual rape claims are most times not even reported because conviction rates are so low and it's so hard to prove and when it can't be proven the girl is called a liar and all the poor men start thanking the Lord they're not single because no doubt all these crazy women would have them arrested for touching their arm, don't you know. .

[GoldHeart]

There's actual rape cases being over looked because of false claims? No there is not, don't be ridiculous. Actual rape claims are most times not reported because conviction rates are so low and it's so hard to prove and when it can't be proven the girl is called a liar and all the poor men start thanking the Lord they're not single because no doubt all these crazy women would have them arrested for touching their arm, don't you know. .

I know conviction rate was low ,but you seem so defensive over false accusations like you don't want to acknowledge that it happens?.
when the problem we have is now with the #Metoo movement People HAVE been wrongly accused or automatically seen as "guilty" without evidence. And once something has been said then that's it .

It's a messed up society ,because real predators & rapists get away with it or only get a light sentence in prison.

[Niamh.]

I know conviction rate was low ,but you seem so defensive over false accusations like you don't want to acknowledge that it happens?.

when the problem we have is now with the #Metoo movement People HAVE been wrongly accused or automatically seen as "guilty" without evidence. And once something has been said then that's it .



It's a messed up society ,because real predators & rapists get away with it or only get a light sentence in prison.Yes I am defensive over it because it really really bothers me that low conviction rates are blamed on women falsely crying rape/sexual harassment, always the ****ing women's fault isn't it? Yes that makes me angry, why wouldn't it? The question is why doesn't it make you angry? It should.

[Nicky91]

I know conviction rate was low ,but you seem so defensive over false accusations like you don't want to acknowledge that it happens?.
when the problem we have is now with the #Metoo movement People HAVE been wrongly accused or automatically seen as "guilty" without evidence. And once something has been said then that's it .

It's a messed up society ,because real predators & rapists get away with it or only get a light sentence in prison.

rapists these days are very sneaky, it feels like such a big injustice scum like that get away with it, while honestly they deserve a long sentence in prison

and when they get away with it they can do it again and again and again without punishments :bored:

[Vicky.]

like you don't want to acknowledge that it happens?.

Of course it happens. It just does not happen anywhere near the amount that MRA types will claim it does. Its impossible to have a conversation about rape/sexual assault/harassment without someone popping up to remind us false accusations exist (and that there are loads of them apparently) and that sometimes (even rarer..but made out to be common again) women rape/sexually abuse too, and of course..that not ALL men rape people! Along with the ridiculous wails of 'we cannot even look at women these days without being accused of sexual harassment'

Just gets tiring and boring after a while, seeing exactly the same sequence go down time and time again. So yeah, it annoys people and makes them angry. What also makes people angry, is the actual stats on sexual assault/rape. And how often the abusers get away with it. But still, we must think of the 2 men per year that get took to court with false accusations, over the thousands of victims of actual abuse.

[GoldHeart]

Yes I am defensive over it because it really really bothers me that low conviction rates are blamed on women falsely crying rape/sexual harassment, always the ****ing women's fault isn't it? Yes that makes me angry, why wouldn't it? The question is why doesn't it make you angry? It should.

Once again You misunderstood my entire post :facepalm: .

I acknowlede Low conviction & injustice when real sexual predators get away with it , I think that makes all of us angry.

Yet you don't want to admit that false reports still happen? , why is it always battle of the sexes with blame? .

When exactly was I blaming all women?. Bare in mind I'm a woman myself :nono:

[Vicky.]

Would love to see where niamh said false reports do not happen.

Its a 'battle of the sexes with blame' as stats tell us that its..a battle of the sexes, given 98% of sexual abuse is committed by males. If it was 50/50 or something yet all that got spoke of was males abusing then I would take your point. But its nowhere near that.

Edit. Anyway, done this dance before many times and CBA as it goes in circles. Not even sure why I replied tbh. But won't be replying to the 'women do it too!' or whatever comes next.

[Niamh.]

Once again You misunderstood my entire post :facepalm: .



I acknowlede Low conviction & injustice when real sexual predators get away with it , I think that makes all of us angry.



Yet you don't want to admit that false reports still happen? , why is it always battle of the sexes with blame? .



When exactly was I blaming all women?. Bare in mind I'm a woman myself :nono:Yes you are a woman, you should know better. But yeah what Vicky said, I'll leave you to it, poor men etc

[GoldHeart]

Would love to see where niamh said false reports do not happen.

Its a 'battle of the sexes with blame' as stats tell us that its..a battle of the sexes, given 98% of sexual abuse is committed by males. If it was 50/50 or something yet all that got spoke of was males abusing then I would take your point. But its nowhere near that.

Because it sounded like I'm not allowed to mention that there's people abusing the #Metoo movement ? . But at the same time real abuse gets missed.

I can't see where Cuba Gooding groped the woman? ,the footage is potato quality ,but all I see is a knee touch and the other guy is actually being affectionate towards Gooding .

I've seen videos of fans crossing the line & getting too touchy feely with celebrities .

[GoldHeart]

Yes you are a woman, you should know better. But yeah what Vicky said, I'll leave you to it, poor men etc

I "should know better"? , anyone would think it was my fault as I'm being told off by a head teacher wow :shocked:

[user104658]

all I see is a knee touch and the other guy is actually being affectionate towards Gooding .

That's not affection in my opinion, it looks like fairly clear lowkey aggression / dominance assertion behaviour and I think if you could hear the exchange it would be very "tense".

IMO what happened is, the woman approached Gooding as a fan and had no problem with the encounter. The man who was with her DID have a problem with the encounter (jealousy, generally being an arsehole, etc.) and has said something at the time and then this has blown up from that point into her saying she was groped / assaulted in an effort to appease her controlling companion.

That's a lot of guesswork but it's the basics of what I can see in that video: She comes over enthusiastically, he engages with her briefly, there's no sign of discomfort or of there being a problem, and then a (drunk looking, IMO) male appears from the sidelines and behaves in that passive-aggressive drunken attempt at intimidation that I'm sure anyone who has ever spent much time in a bar or club knows all too well.

Because that's the uncomfortable truth about the VAST MAJORITY of false sexual assault allegations that do exist. The false report is made because a boyfriend or partner has discovered something that happened consensually, and the woman has claimed that there wasn't consent out of fear of what an aggressive and dominating partner will do if they find out the truth.

[Northern Monkey]

Yeah can i grab a tit or not, minefield!

Maybe i’m being blind but I honestly did not see him grab a tit in that vid.

[Marsh.]

You'd get arrested just for looking at someone "the wrong way" :bored:

I was joking when I responded to you with "can't even breathe without being accused of rape" but it seems I had it bang on.

[GoldHeart]

Maybe i’m being blind but I honestly did not see him grab a tit in that vid.

Neither did I :conf:

[Niamh.]

Maybe i’m being blind but I honestly did not see him grab a tit in that vid.I was referring to your comment about how you're glad you're not single because no doubt you'll get accused of all sorts. Like women are constantly accusing men who chat them up of sexual harassment, it would be like me coming in here saying "I'm glad I'm not single, these days you're libel to be raped if you even say hi to a man". . .

[Ammi]

...(..from the vid...)...his hand definitely went to the area of her breast, it did look as though he may have touched her ..but when he withdrew his hand, he was holding her hand so looked more as if he was taking her hand, which he then kissed...it could have been though that he also did touch her breast...its so difficult without audio as well...

[bots]

well, what i saw was a guy fondling the inside of her upper thigh, when she batted his hand away from there he went to her breast.

[Ammi]

...I have no idea why he would touch her at all to speak to her...why the necessity to put a hand on her thigh or anywhere else to enable him to have a conversation or whatever...I don’t though see on any of the vids..(..some are a little longer..)...where she pushed his hand away from her thigh...

[Ammi]

...why do (some) males feel the need for physical contact when talking to a female ...like the woman can’t hear them unless she’s being touched...

[bots]

...why do (some) males feel the need for physical contact when talking to a female ...like the woman can’t hear them unless she’s being touched...

i don't honestly know how anyone can defend after that video

[Ammi]

i don't honestly know how anyone can defend after that video

...I’m not defending..?...I’m trying to access the vid from how blurry it is and saying what I see...you feel that’s the wrong thing for me to do somehow...?..

[bots]

...I’m not defending..?...I’m trying to access the vid from how blurry it is and saying what I see...you feel that’s the wrong thing for me to do somehow...?..

i'm not saying you are defending it .... just that some are :laugh:

[Ammi]

i'm not saying you are defending it .... just that some are :laugh:

...I guess because the allegation seems to specifically be her breast being touched ..whereas her thigh obviously was..(..this is starting to sound a bit like which part of the chicken do you prefer eeek..)..that’s impossible to see from the angle being shown as he reaches his hand out toward her breast but then takes her hand which was also in that area...so did he touch her breast as well is I would say, uncertain...and that’s apparently the allegation...

[Ammi]

..the DM is reporting...


A second woman has reported him for allegedly grabbing her buttocks in a separate case

...not at the same club on the same night...

[Vicky.]

...why do (some) males feel the need for physical contact when talking to a female ...like the woman can’t hear them unless she’s being touched...

Yup, entirely the issue in many cases. They wouldn't do it to a bloke, yet do it with women. I have found this a lot, especially when sitting down talking, random men feel the need to lay their hand on my inner thigh (tends to be in breast area if standing up, or resting hand on arse) or whatever 'to have a conversation'..from my experience, older men are more likely to do this but I am sure its the same across the board.

Now, unless it happened repeatedly when I had said to stop touching me (which I almost always say..which often turns the man quite..aggressive) I would not personally class it as sexual assault or anything, but I can see why some women do, as its so unnecessary and ****ing common as hell, and as I said they wouldn't dream of dong it to other men (or most of them wouldn't) and really, it needs to end. I can understand the touches and stuff if you are in a flirting situation and its reciprocated, but it tends not to be that at all..its just default, to bloody stroke a woman you are talking to, or touch their legs, hell I have even had job interviews where instead of a handshake at the end, the guy wants a hug! Its..ridiculous and I really don't think a lot of men know quite how common it is for women. Hence thinking its an overreaction, when it could be the 4th bloke that day thats done it! As I said, I almost always tell them to stop..only times I haven't have been when its been bosses and I wanted to keep my job, and the men get defensive 'touching your leg is not like raping you or something', aggressive 'I am only touching your leg, could be much ****ing worse', paranoid 'oh so you are going to report me for sexual assault for just touching your leg..or abusive 'you are an ugly twat anyway, I was just being nice'. All of these are actual reactions I have had from men when I ask them to stop touching me. Nicely too..I am always polite..though maybe shouldn't be..until they ignore it and keep doing it, at which stage I become less 'nice'.

It was 100x worse when I was pregnant, for people randomly touching me. Men I knew thinking its fine to grab my tits and say how they have obviosuly grown a lot :umm2: Not, with friends, I didn't mind that much, but this was just like..random guys I vaguely knew. Or they would start pervy conversations about how theres nothing sexier than a pregnant woman, how they wanted to be breastfed, etxc. It was unbelievable really. Also, thats when the touching from random women started, old ladies coming up to me in the street to stroke my belly and ask when I am due, etc. I get that a lot of the times its trying to be nice..BUT..women are not ****ing public property, even when pregnant.

Rant over :laugh:

[Crimson Dynamo]

another woman looking for money at the expense of women who do get abused

disgusting greed

[Vicky.]

another woman looking for money at the expense of women who do get abused


Because as we all know, celebs never ever actually act innapropriately towards women, its always just 'for the money' :idc:

This despite there being video proof that he did actually touch her, though its not quite as clear if he touched her breast, but his hands were in that general area so of course its possible.

[Ammi]

...I think for me it’s obvious why the allegations against him...whether they’re found to be true or not...(..because it’s impossible to see from the vids shown online...)...he did (unnecessarily) laid his hands on her and could have touched her breast...and again, it’s why (..some..)..men feel the need to do this...don’t touch and there will be no doubt or question I guess is the moral of the story...

[Crimson Dynamo]

Because as we all know, celebs never ever actually act innapropriately towards women, its always just 'for the money' :idc:

This despite there being video proof that he did actually touch her, though its not quite as clear if he touched her breast, but his hands were in that general area so of course its possible.

he touched her the guy his partner and probably hundreds of people that day

to try and say he groped her is just bonkers

[Vicky.]

he touched her the guy his partner and probably hundreds of people that day

to try and say he groped her is just bonkers

And this means its fine to touch the thigh/breast of a random woman? Just because you are a touchy feely person who..well touches everyone wether they want it or not?

[Crimson Dynamo]

And this means its fine to touch the thigh/breast of a random woman? Just because you are a touchy feely person who..well touches everyone wether they want it or not?

he did not touch her breast and he was with his partner, she invaded their space


just wasting court time and all she wants is to be paid off

cynical disgusting money money money

[Ammi]

...hopefully this sort of thing being highlighted as it’s being with this ambiguous allegation...will help (some) Male mindsets into realising how important it is to keep their bodies within their own personal space and not touch someone unless and until that person invites it...

[Vicky.]

...hopefully this sort of thing being highlighted as it’s being with this ambiguous allegation...will help (some) Male mindsets into realising how important it is to keep their bodies within their own personal space and not touch someone unless and until that person invites it...

No, it will just bring out more 'men cannot even look at women without being accused of raping them!' types..most likely. And all the excuses too. Honestly, men who read stories about this/actual rape and conclude that its men who we should feel sorry for as its horrible to expect them to..not randomly touch women..I would avoid like the plague in real life tbh. Tha mindset required to jump from reading a story of assault and concluding that its 'poor men' is..dodgy. As is the need some seem to have to come into threads about sexual assault and 'remind' us that women do it too and that not all men rape. Noont thinks all men do. Its just a way to get people to stop discussing the actual story and to go in these roundabouts that always happen on threads where a woman alleges something.

Anyway, leaving again. Kind of kicking myself for replying again when I said I would stay away. As these always just go one way, and its a way that makes me rage a bit so best to not be involved :laugh:

Edit. Though..

he did not touch her breast and he was with his partner, she invaded their space


There is a point on the video where it does look to me that he could have touched her tit. Video quality is bad, as is the angle mind, but yeah, its possible from watching it.

[user104658]

...I think for me it’s obvious why the allegations against him...whether they’re found to be true or not...(..because it’s impossible to see from the vids shown online...)...he did (unnecessarily) laid his hands on her and could have touched her breast...and again, it’s why (..some..)..men feel the need to do this...don’t touch and there will be no doubt or question I guess is the moral of the story...

Yes to be fair I do agree with that Ammi, whether or not the claimants are "in it for the right reason", he did quite unnecessarily put his hand on her leg (and quite high up her leg? :think: ) and it's really not something I understand at all. I personally am not a huge fan of being touched by people I don't know fairly well and it baffles me that people think it's OK to get touchy-feely with a stranger without obvious permission.

So while I don't think he was deliberately being a pervert or trying to grope her, I agree with the general message that people should just stop being so damned "handsy" all the time. I've even noticed it a few times watching things like Graham Norton... a male guest putting their hand on a female guest's knee while they're talking. Obviously they don't mean anything by it but often the other person looks clearly uncomfortable, and I have no idea how people can be so unaware that they would miss that??

[user104658]

No, it will just bring out more 'men cannot even look at women without being accused of raping them!' types..most likely. And all the excuses too. Honestly, men who read stories about this/actual rape and conclude that its men who we should feel sorry for as its horrible to expect them to..not randomly touch women..I would avoid like the plague in real life tbh. Tha mindset required to jump from reading a story of assault and concluding that its 'poor men' is..dodgy. As is the need some seem to have to come into threads about sexual assault and 'remind' us that women do it too and that not all men rape. Noont thinks all men do. Its just a way to get people to stop discussing the actual story and to go in these roundabouts that always happen on threads where a woman alleges something.

It's just rooted in insecurity more than anything else, honestly.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Yes to be fair I do agree with that Ammi, whether or not the claimants are "in it for the right reason", he did quite unnecessarily put his hand on her leg (and quite high up her leg? :think: ) and it's really not something I understand at all. I personally am not a huge fan of being touched by people I don't know fairly well and it baffles me that people think it's OK to get touchy-feely with a stranger without obvious permission.

So while I don't think he was deliberately being a pervert or trying to grope her, I agree with the general message that people should just stop being so damned "handsy" all the time. I've even noticed it a few times watching things like Graham Norton... a male guest putting their hand on a female guest's knee while they're talking. Obviously they don't mean anything by it but often the other person looks clearly uncomfortable, and I have no idea how people can be so unaware that they would miss that??

Your reading of body language from the comfort of your armchair is not that reliable TS

You have zero clue if someone is uncomfortable, dont project your insecurities on others and then play it as fact

[Ammi]

..I do understand your ‘rants’ Vicky...:laugh:..I mean I completely understand them and not just because of any personal experiences you’ve said...it’s so, so often been said how ‘women should keep themselves safe’...how they shouldn’t wear certain things or go certain places or say certain things or act certain ways...or etc etc...?...all of the things that are listed that make them vulnerable apparently to (some) males...but when it’s the reverse like this is of him ‘placing himself in a vulnerable situation by touching her at all..’...it’s all about the money honey and her, her, her...can’t win for can’t winning...

[chuff me dizzy]

he did not touch her breast and he was with his partner, she invaded their space


just wasting court time and all she wants is to be paid off

cynical disgusting money money money

Yes she did, it makes you wonder if it was a set up

[Crimson Dynamo]

"Cuba Gooding Jr's lawyer says more than two hours of video surveillance from inside a New York bar shows the woman who has accused Gooding of drunkenly groping her breast was "stalking" Gooding and his girlfriend all night."


:idc:

https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/2019/06/14/cuba-gooding-jr-video-show-him-groping-accuser/1460216001/

[user104658]

Your reading of body language from the comfort of your armchair is not that reliable TS

You have zero clue if someone is uncomfortable, dont project your insecurities on others and then play it as fact

The point is that it's irrelevant whether or not one person is comfortable with it or not; if the people aren't established friends who know each other's boundaries then the person engaging in the physical contact has NO IDEA whether or not the other person will be comfortable. It's a coin toss. Plenty of people are fine with it, but that isn't a reason to think that everyone is fine with it or SHOULD be fine with it, and if you take the gamble of entering a stranger's personal space then you can't be surprised if the reaction isn't a good one. It's over-familiar. I can't fathom why anyone would take issue with the idea that people should get to know each other and their boundaries before getting touchy?

[chuff me dizzy]

"Cuba Gooding Jr's lawyer says more than two hours of video surveillance from inside a New York bar shows the woman who has accused Gooding of drunkenly groping her breast was "stalking" Gooding and his girlfriend all night."


:idc:

https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/2019/06/14/cuba-gooding-jr-video-show-him-groping-accuser/1460216001/

Sounds like what I said it was ..... A set up

[Crimson Dynamo]

So he was quietly sitting having a drink with his gf and some drunk woman rocks up uninvited ans almost sits on his gf's lap and he thinks great now i can grope her and no one will notice?

i mean do i need to go on??

[Niamh.]

..I do understand your ‘rants’ Vicky...:laugh:..I mean I completely understand them and not just because of any personal experiences you’ve said...it’s so, so often been said how ‘women should keep themselves safe’...how they shouldn’t wear certain things or go certain places or say certain things or act certain ways...or etc etc...?...all of the things that are listed that make them vulnerable apparently to (some) males...but when it’s the reverse like this is of him ‘placing himself in a vulnerable situation by touching her at all..’...it’s all about the money honey and her, her, her...can’t win for can’t winning...

Exactly Ammi.

Someone back along the thread (maybe two people actually) said that this kind of thing interferes with "real" victims getting justice but I have to ask, when is there ever a real victim?? Honestly I have never (that I can recall) saw any stories like these or of rape accusations being taken seriously on here, not a single one jumps to mind. So they were all liars then? That doesn't seem likely imo

[Ammi]

...so I guess she will have forced him to touch her thigh and to take her hand and possible touch her breast...the ‘two hours’ will show that sHE MADe him do those things and MADE him assume it was okay to lay his hands on her in any familiarity way whatsoever...sadly that real issue which (some) me do, do with women will be brushed aside and not treated with the seriousness it should be...

[Ammi]

...#metoo...?...no for goodness sake...’we make the rules for ourselves and for you too..’...

[Niamh.]

...so I guess she will have forced him to touch her thigh and to take her hand and possible touch her breast...the ‘two hours’ will show that sHE MADe him do those things and MADE him assume it was okay to lay his hands on her in any familiarity way whatsoever...sadly that real issue which (some) me do, do with women will be brushed aside and not treated with the seriousness it should be...

Clearly because she's a fan and was a bit star struck that means he's allowed touch her Ammi

[Nicky91]

...so I guess she will have forced him to touch her thigh and to take her hand and possible touch her breast…the ‘two hours’ will show that sHE MADe him do those things and MADE him assume it was okay to lay his hands on her in any familiarity way whatsoever...sadly that real issue which (some) me do, do with women will be brushed aside and not treated with the seriousness it should be…

wait :o

this is now turned into ''lets shove the lady from victim into the bad person scenario''

[Ammi]

...(..if he’s guilty of what he’s being accused of..)...then not touching someone inappropriately means even when it’s a fan or etc...inappropriate remains inappropriate...

[Ammi]

wait :o

this is now turned into ''lets shove the lady from victim into the bad person scenario''

...yeah sadly, Nicky... and things that should be addressed and need to be addressed will just be brushed aside, I fear...

[Nicky91]

...yeah sadly, Nicky... and things that should be addressed and need to be addressed will just be brushed aside, I fear...

these injustices make me sympathize with women more and more

[user104658]

So he was quietly sitting having a drink with his gf and some drunk woman rocks up uninvited ans almost sits on his gf's lap and he thinks great now i can grope her and no one will notice?

i mean do i need to go on??

Honestly it's two entirely separate debates though. We can briefly acknowledge yes that people in the public eye should be able to go out with friends and family and not have their space & time invaded by fans / the general public... that's fair enough...

...it has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not it was appropriate for him to touch her thigh as he (wuite clearly IMO) does in the video? AND I'm not even saying that his intent was to cause offense or make her uncomfortable or even necessarily "being a perv" or anything like that and I also don't think this is an example of someone who should now be "cancelled" or face prosecution...

...what it IS, though, is an opportunity to shine a light on what is a very real problem - people not realising that they should keep their hands to themselves. That's all that needs to happen! Some sort of acknowledgement that it's a good idea to respect other people's personal space. And an acknowledgement that while [obligatory appeasement] there are plenty of examples of people invading each other's space... there IS a larger problem with males (especially older males) putting their hands round waists / on legs etc. uninvited. Is it because they don't realise? Is it because they're from "another time" where that was just the norm? Maybe, but I'm inclined to think that "back when it was the norm" it was simply less common for people to admit that it made them uncomfortable, rather than it NOT making them uncomfortable, and now that many people DO admit that over-familiar touch makes them uncomfortable the only sensible and respectable thing for people to do going forward is to stop doing it. WHY is there a backlash against that? I genuinely don't get it. ":bawling: I'm not allowed to touch strangers on the knee any more and that's my fave!" :think:.

[Niamh.]

Honestly it's two entirely separate debates though. We can briefly acknowledge yes that people in the public eye should be able to go out with friends and family and not have their space & time invaded by fans / the general public... that's fair enough...

...it has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not it was appropriate for him to touch her thigh as he (wuite clearly IMO) does in the video? AND I'm not even saying that his intent was to cause offense or make her uncomfortable or even necessarily "being a perv" or anything like that and I also don't think this is an example of someone who should now be "cancelled" or face prosecution...

...what it IS, though, is an opportunity to shine a light on what is a very real problem - people not realising that they should keep their hands to themselves. That's all that needs to happen! Some sort of acknowledgement that it's a good idea to respect other people's personal space. And an acknowledgement that while [obligatory appeasement] there are plenty of examples of people invading each other's space... there IS a larger problem with males (especially older males) putting their hands round waists / on legs etc. uninvited. Is it because they don't realise? Is it because they're from "another time" where that was just the norm? Maybe, but I'm inclined to think that "back when it was the norm" it was simply less common for people to admit that it made them uncomfortable, rather than it NOT making them uncomfortable, and now that many people DO admit that over-familiar touch makes them uncomfortable the only sensible and respectable thing for people to do going forward is to stop doing it. WHY is there a backlash against that? I genuinely don't get it. ":bawling: I'm not allowed to touch strangers on the knee any more and that's my fave!" :think:.

Yeah great post TS, that's it pretty much

[Ammi]

..it also happens less in the reverse for instance...if a woman were to touch a man with familiarity and intimacy ...and then if anything non consensual was attempted etc..?...did she not ‘lead him to misconstrue..’...it really is very difficult for a woman in some situations but the focus is taken back to ‘difficult for men’...it would be nice to address a woman’s perspective without deviating and digressing...

[user104658]

..it also happens less in the reverse for instance...if a woman were to touch a man with familiarity and intimacy ...and then if anything non consensual was attempted etc..?...did she not ‘lead him to misconstrue..’...it really is very difficult for a woman in some situations but the focus is taken back to ‘difficult for men’...it would be nice to address a woman’s perspective without deviating and digressing...

The huge difference when these things are surveyed is well worth acknowledging too. Both men and women report having been touched without consent (especially places like bars and clubs). More women report it making them feel uncomfortable than men, though plenty of men report being uncomfortable. The huge difference comes in though when people are asked if they felt threatened or unsafe because of it - or if it decreased their general feelings of safety in public places - with men VERY rarely feeling actually unsafe and women OFTEN being made to feel unsafe. That can't be brushed off. There is a difference and, as uncomfortable as it may be for many men to admit, it simply is a worse situation for women than men.

I've been groped in clubs. I've thought "ffs go away!" on more than one occasion. I have literally never experienced fear or anxiety because of it because realistically, an adult male is not at anywhere near the level of real risk.

What really got me thinking about this was something that happened pretty recently. My wife was on a train back from London on her own that got into Glasgow at 11pm. On the final leg of her journey, there was a table of guys in their mid-20's drinking (probably heading for the clubs) who started trying to talk to her / chat her up / telling her she should come out with them / started getting a bit "jeering" when she politely said no thankyou... and she had to move train carriages / was on the phone to me genuinely scared about being harassed or followed when she got off the train. And she is NOT someone who is easily intimidated. And that got me thinking. Because I've again been in similar situations with groups of drunk women on trains talking to me, and yes there have been times when it's been irritating / unwanted, but again, I have never felt scared or intimidated in that situation for even a second. Because realistically, I'm not at risk. And it's not even that this group of lads is LIKELY to have decided to attack her but the point is that it does happen, it could happen, there is a realistic risk, and they were being blissfully unaware of that in deliberately making her uncomfortable OR even in just not bothering to take care to make sure people around them WEREN'T uncomfortable.

Another fairly recent example was a group of teenage girls asking if they could sit with me at the bus stop late at night (again something like 11pm) in town while I was waiting for the bus after work, because there was drunk middle aged man at the other stance trying to talk to them and generally being a weirdo, again probably not realising he was intimidating them but they were genuinely scared. AGAIN not something I ever experienced... having to feel anxious while just trying to wait for a bus :shrug:.

Anyway just a few things that helped me to realise that there are some massive differences in these everyday experiences for men and women and it's easy for men to saunter through blissfully unaware of these scenarios or declaring very valid fears as "unrealistic" or "over the top".

[Ammi]

The huge difference when these things are surveyed is well worth acknowledging too. Both men and women report having been touched without consent (especially places like bars and clubs). More women report it making them feel uncomfortable than men, though plenty of men report being uncomfortable. The huge difference comes in though when people are asked if they felt threatened or unsafe because of it - or if it decreased their general feelings of safety in public places - with men VERY rarely feeling actually unsafe and women OFTEN being made to feel unsafe. That can't be brushed off. There is a difference and, as uncomfortable as it may be for many men to admit, it simply is a worse situation for women than men.

I've been groped in clubs. I've thought "ffs go away!" on more than one occasion. I have literally never experienced fear or anxiety because of it because realistically, an adult male is not at anywhere near the level of real risk.

What really got me thinking about this was something that happened pretty recently. My wife was on a train back from London on her own that got into Glasgow at 11pm. On the final leg of her journey, there was a table of guys in their mid-20's drinking (probably heading for the clubs) who started trying to talk to her / chat her up / telling her she should come out with them / started getting a bit "jeering" when she politely said no thankyou... and she had to move train carriages / was on the phone to me genuinely scared about being harassed or followed when she got off the train. And she is NOT someone who is easily intimidated. And that got me thinking. Because I've again been in similar situations with groups of drunk women on trains talking to me, and yes there have been times when it's been irritating / unwanted, but again, I have never felt scared or intimidated in that situation for even a second. Because realistically, I'm not at risk. And it's not even that this group of lads is LIKELY to have decided to attack her but the point is that it does happen, it could happen, there is a realistic risk, and they were being blissfully unaware of that in deliberately making her uncomfortable OR even in just not bothering to take care to make sure people around them WEREN'T uncomfortable.

Another fairly recent example was a group of teenage girls asking if they could sit with me at the bus stop late at night (again something like 11pm) in town while I was waiting for the bus after work, because there was drunk middle aged man at the other stance trying to talk to them and generally being a weirdo, again probably not realising he was intimidating them but they were genuinely scared. AGAIN not something I ever experienced... having to feel anxious while just trying to wait for a bus :shrug:.

Anyway just a few things that helped me to realise that there are some massive differences in these everyday experiences for men and women and it's easy for men to saunter through blissfully unaware of these scenarios or declaring very valid fears as "unrealistic" or "over the top".

..I’m so sorry that Mrs TS was made to feel so vulnerable...:hug:..and that’s the thing really as with the girls at the bus stop...I think most females have been in those situations of vulnerability before at some point in their lives at least once but for many, several times...
whereas as you say...many men will never experience ...and it’s something that really does need addressing in society...and women will be often judged by other women also as a knee jerk ‘in the wrong’ without all facts being known etc...anyways, you obviously were a ‘safety’ to those young girls and that’s lovely and very much needed..:love:...and you have daughters so you will give these things the much thought needed...

[Crimson Dynamo]

thats grand TS and it dawns on most men that women will feel far more intimidated in certain situations as you describe but that has got diddly squat to do with this farcical situation - what is does relate to is:

I am amazed that no one has mentioned the man (the partner of the accuser?) who gyrates his cock in front of the accused GF - a much more aggressive and intimidating action??

[chuff me dizzy]

The woman's boyfriend and 2 of his mates surround Cuba ,he must have felt very intimidated ,the more I watch the video the more convinced this was all planned

[Niamh.]

thats grand TS and it dawns on most men that women will feel far more intimidated in certain situations as you describe but that has got diddly squat to do with this farcical situation - what is does relate to is:

I am amazed that no one has mentioned the man (the partner of the accuser?) who gyrates his cock in front of the accused GF - a much more aggressive and intimidating action??

I think TS story is just highlighting a wider debate on the subject really, there's not a whole lot more to say on the Cuba Gooding story without more information/knowing what was being said in the video etc etc

[user104658]

I am amazed that no one has mentioned the man (the partner of the accuser?) who gyrates his cock in front of the accused GF - a much more aggressive and intimidating action??


all I see is a knee touch and the other guy is actually being affectionate towards Gooding .

That's not affection in my opinion, it looks like fairly clear lowkey aggression / dominance assertion behaviour and I think if you could hear the exchange it would be very "tense".

:shrug: I don't think you read the whole thread before that bold "no one has..." claim LT.

To be clear it doesn't look like anyone in this situation was exactly at their most admirable but literally NONE of that cancels out the fact that there's a valid discussion to be had about people keeping their hands to themselves. An awful lot of "but, but, but".

[Ammi]

...whatever anyone else was doing...none of it takes away from the fact that Cuba has been accused of something because of his own actions, no one else’s...

[Crimson Dynamo]

:shrug: I don't think you read the whole thread before that bold "no one has..." claim LT.

To be clear it doesn't look like anyone in this situation was exactly at their most admirable but literally NONE of that cancels out the fact that there's a valid discussion to be had about people keeping their hands to themselves. An awful lot of "but, but, but".

Yes but TS you need to then qualify and say that if a man who is attractive to a woman (and other way around) say touches her arm lightly this is seen as very desirable and an indication of attraction.

If some guy who he/she does not find attractive its creepy

Its also very very country specific and an Indian man would see touching in a totally different light and that is just beween 2 men.


i mean look at this: https://www.aol.co.uk/living/2016/08/23/flirting-how-to-tips/?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAEP_5Cj1o_pN2El9d_Nwh28DKEgv yFEWOFjenD8mqdEp0hpY-f-5iRXB5QYjsUUmyj_0fiNiRWPB6wn9U6cgPJZX7AahZyVCYwomr hSBbfBW1NBuNosNFR3CsU1yAFtljRKWgDvCSVydcwcWYivzk69 fSih6Tx806bvQkgNLuxd5


grey lines

[GoldHeart]

...I have no idea why he would touch her at all to speak to her...why the necessity to put a hand on her thigh or anywhere else to enable him to have a conversation or whatever...I don’t though see on any of the vids..(..some are a little longer..)...where she pushed his hand away from her thigh...

But fans get touchy feely with celebrities all the time, security have to pull them away it gets so bad :facepalm: . I don't see any harassment in the video with Cuba Gooding ,but as I said the potato footage isn't the best .