Headmaster set to ‘make history’ by coming out as gay to pupils in assembly...

[Ammi]

A school headmaster is about to make educational history by coming out as gay to his students and staff via an online assembly on Monday.

Nicholas Hewlett, headmaster of St Dunstan’s College in Catford, southeast London, is set to announce his sexuality and happy marriage to a man after he was inspired by the candour of his pupils.

It is thought that the 41-year-old will be the first acting headmaster to ever publicly declare their sexuality.

Mr Hewlett said he was motivated to come out after a conversation with a student at the exclusive private school who openly discussed their own sexuality with the headteacher. The student who attends the £18,000-per-year school encouraged Mr Hewlett to come forward himself.

“I was so blown away by the courage of him that something flipped in my head,” he said. ”I thought then of my own situation and thought: 'This is ridiculous. Here I am as a happily married gay man, and the children do not know that at school.’"

The teacher said he hopes the announcement will be received positively and that students might even wave rainbow flags in support.

Speaking to The Sunday Times, Mr Hewlett said his only regret was not coming out earlier, “because seven years of children will have gone through the school without the benefit of a role model.”

"The message is simply have the courage to be true to yourself,” he said.

Mr Hewlett married Alberic Elsom, director of music at Whitgift school in Croydon, in 2014. The teacher emphasised that society has come a long way since he was bullied as a young student in the 1990s and when “gay” was used as an insult.



...full article...

https://uk.yahoo.com/news/headmaster-set-history-coming-gay-192223466.html

[Oliver_W]

https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/K1UOvsLcuLfUf90i8eanWA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTcyMA--/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/SRXrBJyZbneClJ6UufrQsg--~B/aD0xNTM2O3c9MjA0ODthcHBpZD15dGFjaHlvbg--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_independent_577/3e037e57d31d50ed054fefca902b8f59
Okay Sailor, they probably already know...

[Cherie]

https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/K1UOvsLcuLfUf90i8eanWA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTcyMA--/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/SRXrBJyZbneClJ6UufrQsg--~B/aD0xNTM2O3c9MjA0ODthcHBpZD15dGFjaHlvbg--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_independent_577/3e037e57d31d50ed054fefca902b8f59
Okay Sailor, they probably already know...

:laugh:

[Cherie]

Good for him

[The Slim Reaper]

Head. Master.

[Cherie]

Head. Master.

:creep:

[user104658]

Things are so different now to how they were even when I was at school. In general the kids just think nothing of it whatsoever, even in later primary school boys and girls have boyfriends or girlfriends or both without many other kids batting an eyelid. Obviously you still get the occasional homophobe, but you'd find most other kids immediately turning on that attitude. Most high schools around here have official LGBT support, zero tolerance policies, etc.

I think that can be quite surprising for adults, as even us younger (ish :bawling: ) adults remember when coming out as gay at school was a massive challenge or even just not worth it at all because of the potential for abuse.

Essentially, I think the widescale media exposure of homosexuality as perfectly normal since the early-2000's has completely changed things in schools.

[Smithy]

Not the article outing him before he even gets a chance to do it

[Niamh.]

Not the article outing him before he even gets a chance to do it

I was thinking the same, announcing he's coming out on a future date is kind of making the future date a bit redundant isn't it? :laugh:

[Ammi]

...in primary schools especially, I know that gay staff member are not always allowed to show wedding photographs etc..(...obviously it’s always an individual head teacher/academy principal decision...)...but with a heterosexual marriage, it isn’t something that would generally have to seek ‘approval’...whereas, I’ve known that to be the case frequently for gay staff members...

[Ammi]

...the article hasn’t outed him as such as he seems to have given the interview with them, so I presume that it’s all okayed by him to have published it...

[user104658]

...in primary schools especially, I know that gay staff member are not always allowed to show wedding photographs etc..(...obviously it’s always an individual head teacher/academy principal decision...)...but with a heterosexual marriage, it isn’t something that would generally have to seek ‘approval’...whereas, I’ve known that to be the case frequently for gay staff members...

Is that legal though? I don't know about England but up 'ere, if a head teacher allowed heterosexual teachers to show family pictures but then said a married gay person had to ask permission first, they would be in (rather a lot of) trouble in terms of discrimination laws. I suppose if one felt particularly strongly about it they could put a blanket ban on teachers sharing personal photos/information but I'd have some pretty major concerns about that head teacher!

[Niamh.]

Is that legal though? I don't know about England but up 'ere, if a head teacher allowed heterosexual teachers to show family pictures but then said a married gay person had to ask permission first, they would be in (rather a lot of) trouble in terms of discrimination laws. I suppose if one felt particularly strongly about it they could put a blanket ban on teachers sharing personal photos/information but I'd have some pretty major concerns about that head teacher!

Obviously allowing straight teachers to share pictures but not gay teachers is discrimination. Never came across teachers sharing personal pictures like that though anyway (both when I was going to school myself or my children going to school)

[Ammi]

Is that legal though? I don't know about England but up 'ere, if a head teacher allowed heterosexual teachers to show family pictures but then said a married gay person had to ask permission first, they would be in (rather a lot of) trouble in terms of discrimination laws. I suppose if one felt particularly strongly about it they could put a blanket ban on teachers sharing personal photos/information but I'd have some pretty major concerns about that head teacher!

...I would think that it’s possibly not legal and could definitely be something which could be pursued as discrimination if a teacher chose to...but it’s still something that I’ve known to have happened on some occasions...not just in a situation of showing a wedding album to a class of children..?...but in how a homosexual partner is introduced at a school fair or other social school function...and being restricted/guided to ‘this is ‘name’..’.....as opposed to ‘this is my husband/wife’....

[Ammi]

Obviously allowing straight teachers to share pictures but not gay teachers is discrimination. Never came across teachers sharing personal pictures like that though anyway (both when I was going to school myself or my children going to school)

...it only generally happens that staff members show photographs to their class if they’ve just got married...

[Niamh.]

...it only generally happens that staff members show photographs to their class if they’ve just got married...

Loads of teachers in my kids schools got married over their time there, I don't think they were ever showed pictures

[Ammi]

Loads of teachers in my kids schools got married over their time there, I don't they were ever showed pictures

...it tends to happen quite a lot in local schools here, specifically wedding and baby pics and bringing the baby in to meet their class...(...mainly in the younger classes, I have to say...Reception and Year 1...)...and with school/PTA run social functions, a staff member’s partner would often attend and help out as well, so that would spark questions from a child...’who are you’...:laugh:...

[Niamh.]

...it tends to happen quite a lot in local schools here, specifically wedding and baby pics and bringing the baby in to meet their class...(...mainly in the younger classes, I have to say...Reception and Year 1...)...and with school/PTA run social functions, a staff member’s partner would often attend and help out as well, so that would spark questions from a child...’who are you’...:laugh:...

Maybe they were shown pictures and they just never told me, although I think my daughter probably would have :laugh: Maybe it is just different over there, I don't think I've ever met any of the teachers OHs at school functions either. One of my brothers is a teacher actually and his wife was hired by his school to teach a drama class, there was fierce whisperings and questions being asked by the students to know if my sister in law was his wife :laugh:

[Cherie]

Obviously allowing straight teachers to share pictures but not gay teachers is discrimination. Never came across teachers sharing personal pictures like that though anyway (both when I was going to school myself or my children going to school)

same, it's not particularly professional :shrug:

[user104658]

I don't think there's a problem with teachers sharing aspects of their lives with kids, especially once they get to 10+, within reason obviously. I think the days of the "stern, distant school teacher" who is only there for academics & discipline is a bit outdated really.

It can go the other way of course - my daughter had a newly qualified teacher last year who was "everyone's pal" - the kids all thought he was amazing, best teacher ever, so much fun... but frankly as a TEACHER he was absolute pish :joker:. I went to her parents evening and straight afterwards texted my wife "FFS he has no idea what he's doing haha". I'm not convinced she learned anything at all last year, and some of what he was teaching was straight up INCORRECT :umm2:...

Anyway, off topic there a bit, but yeah I think it would be quite nice for a teacher to share wedding pics with the kids if they're interested.

Does anyone else remember the drama and chaos that would ensue at primary school when a teacher got married and changed their name? :laugh:. "Can you take this along to Mrs White?" "...who??? That's Ms Smith! WHAT IS HAPPENING"

[Niamh.]

I don't have an issue with teachers showing a wedding picture, I just don't ever remember that happening. I wouldn't say that my kids teachers were stern and detached though either

[user104658]

I don't have an issue with teachers showing a wedding picture, I just don't ever remember that happening. I wouldn't say that my kids teachers were stern and detached though either

Weeell, me either, but then, I don't think I or either of my kids have had a teacher get married while teaching them. I'm thinking more if they got married during that time and brought in the photos, it would definitely be odd if someone brought in their decade-old wedding snaps.

Aforementioned best pal teacher above did have a newborn during that year and brought in pictures of the baby when he came back from paternity leave, for example. It would be a bit strange though for a teacher to randomly bring pictures of their older kids.

[Niamh.]

Weeell, me either, but then, I don't think I or either of my kids have had a teacher get married while teaching them. I'm thinking more if they got married during that time and brought in the photos, it would definitely be odd if someone brought in their decade-old wedding snaps.

Aforementioned best pal teacher above did have a newborn during that year and brought in pictures of the baby when he came back from paternity leave, for example. It would be a bit strange though for a teacher to randomly bring pictures of their older kids.

I know what you meant, there was a few teachers who did get married (and lots who had babies as well) over the years while my kids were at school though

[Ammi]

Maybe they were shown pictures and they just never told me, although I think my daughter probably would have :laugh: Maybe it is just different over there, I don't think I've ever met any of the teachers OHs at school functions either. One of my brothers is a teacher actually and his wife was hired by his school to teach a drama class, there was fierce whisperings and questions being asked by the students to know if my sister in law was his wife :laugh:

...yeah it’s different types of schools and areas I think as well, some of our local schools are very ‘family’ and staff and parents can know each other socially...others are not so much, but we’ve always had partners involved in most school social things and children will always just come right out and ask...:laugh:...I know one friend/colleague in particular a few years ago and it was particularly noticeable as well because there were 3 staff weddings close together that summer ...but his was the only one that wasn’t a heterosexual wedding ...and he wasn’t allowed to show his photographs to his class...he just isn’t the sort of person who would ever raise it as ‘an issue’ either...but it obviously did it upset him...

[Niamh.]

...yeah it’s different types of schools and areas I think as well, some of our local schools are very ‘family’ and staff and parents can know each other socially...others are not so much, but we’ve always had partners involved in most school social things and children will always just come right out and ask...:laugh:...I know one friend/colleague in particular a few years ago and it was particularly noticeable as well because there were 3 staff weddings close together that summer ...but his was the only one that wasn’t a heterosexual wedding ...and he wasn’t allowed to show his photographs to his class...he just isn’t the sort of person who would ever raise it as ‘an issue’ either...but it obviously did it upset him...

Ah yeah that's awful for him if it's the done thing to do it for sure

[Cherie]

...yeah it’s different types of schools and areas I think as well, some of our local schools are very ‘family’ and staff and parents can know each other socially...others are not so much, but we’ve always had partners involved in most school social things and children will always just come right out and ask...:laugh:...I know one friend/colleague in particular a few years ago and it was particularly noticeable as well because there were 3 staff weddings close together that summer ...but his was the only one that wasn’t a heterosexual wedding ...and he wasn’t allowed to show his photographs to his class...he just isn’t the sort of person who would ever raise it as ‘an issue’ either...but it obviously did it upset him...


that was downright cruel, either you allow everyone or no one

I just don't think it is something that happened in the schools my kids went to , maybe it did but my boys would have cared less about new babies or teachers getting married :laugh: and definately in High School that wasn't happening!

[Ammi]

I don't think there's a problem with teachers sharing aspects of their lives with kids, especially once they get to 10+, within reason obviously. I think the days of the "stern, distant school teacher" who is only there for academics & discipline is a bit outdated really.

It can go the other way of course - my daughter had a newly qualified teacher last year who was "everyone's pal" - the kids all thought he was amazing, best teacher ever, so much fun... but frankly as a TEACHER he was absolute pish :joker:. I went to her parents evening and straight afterwards texted my wife "FFS he has no idea what he's doing haha". I'm not convinced she learned anything at all last year, and some of what he was teaching was straight up INCORRECT :umm2:...

Anyway, off topic there a bit, but yeah I think it would be quite nice for a teacher to share wedding pics with the kids if they're interested.

Does anyone else remember the drama and chaos that would ensue at primary school when a teacher got married and changed their name? :laugh:. "Can you take this along to Mrs White?" "...who??? That's Ms Smith! WHAT IS HAPPENING"

...oh, most name changes are usually adapted to really easily by the children from my experience...maybe because most weddings seem to be in the Summer break when there is time off for a longer honeymoon/holiday...so then that teacher will have a name change but also a new class who haven’t got used to their name so much....

[Ammi]

that was downright cruel, either you allow everyone or no one

I just don't think it is something that happened in the schools my kids went to , maybe it did but my boys would have cared less about new babies or teachers getting married :laugh: and definately in High School that wasn't happening!

...yeah, schools are different but ours and many local schools are very much ‘community families’....

[Ammi]

...just following on actually from what TS said...the children/parents know of upcoming staff name changes as well which makes them aware of marriages...

[DouglasS]

Is this really necessary? It seems a bit pointless. Also if anything it’d probably cause gay kids to be bullied more (If they even are bullied in today’s age, doubtful) because they’re similar to the head teacher

[The Slim Reaper]

Is this really necessary? It seems a bit pointless. Also if anything it’d probably cause gay kids to be bullied more (If they even are bullied in today’s age, doubtful) because they’re similar to the head teacher

They'll probably be bullied more but it's doubtful they're being bullied at all? :shrug:

[Niamh.]

Is this really necessary? It seems a bit pointless. Also if anything it’d probably cause gay kids to be bullied more (If they even are bullied in today’s age, doubtful) because they’re similar to the head teacher

Oh come of it, that's a real stretch

[DouglasS]

They'll probably be bullied more but it's doubtful they're being bullied at all? :shrug:

That’s why I put the brackets with an if.

I imagine the vast majority are treated norm, the youngest generation are generally the most accepting

[DouglasS]

Oh come of it, that's a real stretch

Being comparable to the head teacher or having things in common could be a cause of bullying / joking.

[Beso]

What has his private life got to do with the kids..

Attention seeking twonk.

[Ammi]

...this is the assembly which he took this morning to mark the start of the school’s LGBTQ+ week..:love:...it’s only around 7minutes long for that section, if anyone would like to watch...


WIsAjlNGmFU

[Marsh.]

They'll probably be bullied more but it's doubtful they're being bullied at all? :shrug:

:joker:

[Tom4784]

Good for him, I can see a lot of gammon acting like it's inappropriate or something because their bigotry makes them think that anything gay related is somehow 'dirty' or inappropriate for kids when it's no different to a hetero person announcing they've married.

It's remarkable though, it's been about 14 years since I left secondary school and the amount of progress in that time is astounding. It makes me happy that newer generations will be less bigoted and ruled by hate than those that came before them.

Is this really necessary? It seems a bit pointless. Also if anything it’d probably cause gay kids to be bullied more (If they even are bullied in today’s age, doubtful) because they’re similar to the head teacher

You're probably one of those people that think gay people shouldn't adopt because the kids would get bullied. It's remarkable how people use their own cowardice to try to force others into the shadows.

Bullies will bully regardless, we shouldn't encourage people to change how they live their lives just to accommodate the bullies. What an disgusting attitude to have.