Who's online? I could use someone to talk to?

[Kate!]

Hi.

[thesheriff443]

Me

[Kate!]

Me

Hi. I'm so sad tonight. I miss my son so much.

[thesheriff443]

Hi. I'm so sad tonight. I miss my son so much.

That’s understandable Kate, but as they grow up they choose their own path

[Kate!]

That’s understandable Kate, but as they grow up they choose their own path

It's his 23rd birthday on Saturday.

[thesheriff443]

It's his 23rd birthday on Saturday.

Will you get to see him?

[Kate!]

Will you get to see him?

No love. He's not in my life now. He ghosted me.

[thesheriff443]

No love. He's not in my life now. He ghosted me.

I’m sorry to hear that late, hopefully in time you start to talk again but don’t go blaming yourself

[Kate!]

I'm so soft. I should be tougher than this. It's been 2 years.

[Kate!]

I've been out tonight. Early birthday celebration for me. Got home and just started crying like a loony. My boyfriends fast asleep.

[Swan]

Im sorry to hear that Kate. It might not help, but i've not spoken to my Dad for over 3 years. It's not rare, that's all im say. :hug:

[thesheriff443]

I'm so soft. I should be tougher than this. It's been 2 years.

Your his mum, so it’s not about being tough, my partners son blamed her for the breakdown of her marriage so she was on a similar position and it was heartbreaking but she Diogo even up and over time they have become close again.

[Kate!]

Oh thats so sad Swan. X

[Kate!]

I feel so guilty. Because he's on his own in the world. His dad's not in his life either.

[thesheriff443]

I've been out tonight. Early birthday celebration for me. Got home and just started crying like a loony. My boyfriends fast asleep.

I think it’s harder for men to get how heartbreaking it is, because at first I saw it as him being cruel, but he was dealing with his family unit breaking apart

[Swan]

Oh thats so sad Swan. X

Well im sure your situation is much different, but if im honest i don't care for that man at all, so it doesn't bother me.

Really hope you get your relationship worked out with your son.

[Kate!]

I don't know where he is. I don't know if he's safe..well.. or happy? It's like a bereavement.

[Redway]

:hug:

[rusticgal]

Family rifts are so common. I rarely speak to my brothers… people say life is so short, forgive and forget, but that’s easily said and done. He is only young still…maybe he will come around and reach out. If you have reached out and he has not responded then there is little you can do except keep trying and hope that one day he will respond.
My heart breaks for you…just never give up hope.

[thesheriff443]

I don't know where he is. I don't know if he's safe..well.. or happy? It's like a bereavement.

Well that is a hard place to be, not knowing is a head fcuk in itself

Life does test us at times to breaking point

[Kate!]

Thank you everyone

[thesheriff443]

Family rifts are so common. I rarely speak to my brothers… people say life is so short, forgive and forget, but that’s easily said and done. He is only young still…maybe he will come around and reach out. If you have reached out and he has not responded then there is little you can do except keep trying and hope that one day he will respond.
My heart breaks for you…just never give up hope.

Good advice here

[thesheriff443]

Thank you everyone

There is no need to thank us, at the end of the day we all have feelings and emotions and things we would like to change but can’t .

Tomorrow is another day!

[AnnieK]

:hug:

[Cherie]

It's very sad that you have lost touch Kate, did something happen between you to cause the rift or did he just drift off? It must be a worry if you don't know where he is, is there any way you can find where he is and start up contact again?

[arista]

I am

[Vanessa]

I'm sorry to hear that, Kate. Families are so complicated. I myself have lost touch with quite a few family members for various reasons.
I'm trying to keep in touch with my sister, because she's my twin and I genuinely love her more than anything.
I hope in time you and your son can get closer again :hug:

[Kate!]

It's very sad that you have lost touch Kate, did something happen between you to cause the rift or did he just drift off? It must be a worry if you don't know where he is, is there any way you can find where he is and start up contact again?

He just disappeared totally out of the blue Cherie. Wiped me out of his social media etc. The whole kit and caboodle. It's like he's no longer on the planet.

[Cherie]

He just disappeared totally out of the blue Cherie. Wiped me out of his social media etc. The whole kit and caboodle. It's like he's no longer on the planet.

Have you had a previously good relationship? It might be that he was hurt that you moved area, he might have thought that he should have been consulted.

I think sometimes we think our kids don't need us any more when they move out but they generally do, if I were you I would try my best to find him and reconnect, he might be regretting his decision now but too proud to get in touch, can you start with any of his mates?

[Niamh.]

I echo Cherie here, don't give up trying to find and reconnect Kate :hug:

[ThomasC]

He just disappeared totally out of the blue Cherie. Wiped me out of his social media etc. The whole kit and caboodle. It's like he's no longer on the planet.

There has to be more to this?

That doesn't just happen. There's a reason.

[Kate!]

@Niamh and Cherie. I've tried everything I can possibly do. Even used a charity called Reconnect. They found an address for him but its confidential and I don't get to know it. They wrote to him and asked him to get in touch but he didn’t.

[Niamh.]

@Niamh and Cherie. I've tried everything I can possibly do. Even used a charity called Reconnect. They found an address for him but its confidential and I don't get to know it. They wrote to him and asked him to get in touch but he didn’t.

And you have no idea why at all?

[Kate!]

And you have no idea why at all?

I have a couple of theories but that's all. Nothing concrete.

1. My brother and former sister in law who recently passed away have poisoned his mind against me cos we don't speak since my mum's funeral but that's another long story.

2. He wasn't happy that I moved in with Karl in Wigan. But I doubt that on its own would be enough for him to react that way?

[Lewismacfarlane]

Hey Kate u ok

[Crimson Dynamo]

There has to be more to this?

That doesn't just happen. There's a reason.

"cos we don't speak since my mum's funeral but that's another long story."

This would seem to hold the key to the reason

[Kate!]

Hey Kate u ok

I'm alright Lewis. Have to get on with things. Thank you for asking xx

[Vanessa]

I'm alright Lewis. Have to get on with things. Thank you for asking xx

Hope you're ok. :love:

[ThomasC]

I have a couple of theories but that's all. Nothing concrete.

1. My brother and former sister in law who recently passed away have poisoned his mind against me cos we don't speak since my mum's funeral but that's another long story.

2. He wasn't happy that I moved in with Karl in Wigan. But I doubt that on its own would be enough for him to react that way?

"cos we don't speak since my mum's funeral but that's another long story."

This would seem to hold the key to the reason

It's very deep.

My brain is all frazzled out too. :laugh:

[Cherie]

It's possible someone has said something that has upset him, some families like nothing better than stirring the pot.

Keep using that Charity Kate and send him a card regularly asking to meet him if only for him to explain why he has removed himself from your life, he owes you that

[Kate!]

I can't send him a card Cherie. The charity don't pass things on and there's no other way for me to contact him.

[arista]

Hang in the there Kate
it is not nice to have this done

[ThomasC]

I can't send him a card Cherie. The charity don't pass things on and there's no other way for me to contact him.

Is there no one within your circle who can advocate on your behalf or know more details, friends, other family members?

Maybe you could start with trying to build bridges with your brother if they have turned him on you. I'm assuming he still has contact with his uncle?

I think deep down you know the reason why he doesn't want to see you or you have a good guess. You have to be truthful to yourself and admit that fault, if there is one.

Did you tell him you were moving in with Karl? He would only have been 21 so that's a huge decision to make if you didn't involve him. Does his father have contact with him? Is the father Karl? Does your son feel abandoned? Why was he not happy you moved in with Karl? Was your son living with you? How far away was it? Did you ditch him for Karl? What happened at the funeral?

Just trying to understand the much bigger picture to offer you some advice.

Ask yourself these questions.

I think you might be able to do something about this if you are able to identify exactly why he does not want to see you.

[GoldHeart]

It's possible someone has said something that has upset him, some families like nothing better than stirring the pot.

Keep using that Charity Kate and send him a card regularly asking to meet him if only for him to explain why he has removed himself from your life, he owes you that

People ALWAYS say something. I don't know why he's ghosted Kate. But it's quite sad. But I don't know the full story.

[Mystic Mock]

I'm sorry to hear this Kate.

I honestly think that every family has some drama to some extent, especially when things like new partners come into the fold.

[rusticgal]

I'm sorry to hear this Kate.

I honestly think that every family has some drama to some extent, especially when things like new partners come into the fold.


Yup…sadly.

[Vanessa]

I know. Sometimes I wish I didn't have any family and in was all by myself.
I love them all, but not the drama that comes with it.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Is there no one within your circle who can advocate on your behalf or know more details, friends, other family members?

Maybe you could start with trying to build bridges with your brother if they have turned him on you. I'm assuming he still has contact with his uncle?

I think deep down you know the reason why he doesn't want to see you or you have a good guess. You have to be truthful to yourself and admit that fault, if there is one.

Did you tell him you were moving in with Karl? He would only have been 21 so that's a huge decision to make if you didn't involve him. Does his father have contact with him? Is the father Karl? Does your son feel abandoned? Why was he not happy you moved in with Karl? Was your son living with you? How far away was it? Did you ditch him for Karl? What happened at the funeral?

Just trying to understand the much bigger picture to offer you some advice.

Ask yourself these questions.

I think you might be able to do something about this if you are able to identify exactly why he does not want to see you.

yep