Surprise-visits

[Redway]

Are you the sort of person who likes people dropping by without warning or is it a big no-no?

[Cherie]

No . hate it

[Redway]

No . hate it

I don’t mind (as far as someone who’s far from the most socially-open sod in the world could; I don’t love having people over for more than a couple of hours without special motif anyway) but as someone who likes people to feel comfortable and well catered-to I’d rather be notified an hour in advance so I can at least tidy up and know when to be at the door for you (otherwise I could be having a shower, popping to the shops or just doing day-to-day life in one’s free time).

[Liam-]

It’s one of my biggest pet peeves

[Vanessa]

It's a no from me. If I'm not expecting you, I'll pretend I'm not home :joker:

[Kate!]

It's a no from me too.

[Redway]

It's a no from me. If I'm not expecting you, I'll pretend I'm not home :joker:

I do try and accommodate for people’s varying personalities (we can’t all be reserved and socially unadventurous) but it does get on my nerves when people expect you to be waiting for you at the door when you weren’t really expecting them in the first place. That’s when it starts to feel a little bit entitled but people have their own reasonings behind their, er … reasonings. It’s not for me to judge when they’re coming with good intentions and I’d rather not answer the door more than three or four times a month anyway (whether I know they’re coming or not) but a bit of heads-up is always welcome.

[Vanessa]

I do try and accommodate for people’s varying personalities (we can’t all be reserved and socially unadventurous) but it does get on my nerves when people expect you to be waiting for you at the door when you weren’t really expecting them in the first place. That’s when it starts to feel a little bit entitled but people have their own reasonings behind their, er … reasonings. It’s not for me to judge when they’re coming with good intentions and I’d rather not answer the door more than three or four times a month anyway (whether I know they’re coming or not) but a bit of heads-up is always welcome.

I'm always scared it could be criminals :bawling:

[Beso]

Would only get up from behind the back of the settee for about 3 people. The rest can knock as much as they want.

[Zizu]

Are you the sort of person who likes people dropping by without warning or is it a big no-no?


No happening


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[Redway]

Would only get up from behind the back of the settee for about 3 people. The rest can knock as much as they want.

I’m the same about ’phone calls. No doubt every functioning human has to do them at some point by necessity (and you’ve got your Teams interviews and calls which have to be done that way and that’s fine) but beyond that I don’t want to be on the other end unless it’s truly necessary and that goes even if I absolutely love you. I’m much more comfortable having conversations with people face-to-face (at least with people I feel comfortable with) or in writing and I’ve always got a good listening-ear for long voice-notes but calling people isn’t something I do for fun or just for the sake of talking. Only when it’s unavoidable/unavoidably professional or I just want to buzz someone quickly to get their attention quicker than texts there’s no guarantee would be read on-time would. I know I annoy lots of people by barely ever returning calls (I’ve always got my mobile on “Do Not Disturb” anyway) but I guess everyone has their quirks and preference-habits.

Generally I’ll be at the door if I’m around but like I say spontaneity stops being fun for me when it becomes social and I have to stop cooking or watching Emmerdale to see to someone I didn’t know wanted to come.

[Redway]

I'm always scared it could be criminals :bawling:

Mhm, and that’s how it was in this week’s Emmerdale (Vinny accidentally opens the door to that Darren bloke he gambled with and gets jumped badly).

[Josy]

Massive no no.

Don't drop in on me unannounced or I'll drop kick ya back out the gate thank you very much.

[Crimson Dynamo]

No way

[Cherie]

we are not a very social bunch, what gets me is they will always turn up when the house is upside down

[AnnieK]

I actually don't mind.....if people turn up unannounced they take me as they find me...usually in pjs lol. A lot of my friends will just walk in....pop the kettle on and help themselves to stuff in the fridge :laugh:

I was a bit more unsocial when my son was little and I was knackered but now its nice to have company now he's an anti social little git and lives in his bedroom

[joeysteele]

Yes more the last one for me.

[joeysteele]

Unless I'm doing something really important I welcome people.
My Grandmother who lived in the Republic of Ireland.
Her home was like an ever open door
I just loved being there among the atmosphere.

[James]

My doorbell doesn't work.

[Quantum Boy]

If you turn up at my door without at least 2 hours warning you're not getting in and it's your own fault.

[Crimson Dynamo]

My doorbell doesn't work.

thats what she said

[Redway]

It does get on my nerves when people expect you to be at the door waiting when they didn’t give you any notice at all in the first place. How can you expect them when they weren’t expecting you?

[rusticgal]

Not for me…I think it’s rude to just show up without notice :fist:

[Redway]

Not for me…I think it’s rude to just show up without notice :fist:

To me it’s “meh” on that front (depending on who it is it can even be a pleasant surprise) but I’d rather have time to have the place appropriately-stacked with food/snacks and clean. At least sweep it and actually be at the door when you need me to be. If it’s truly a surprise-visit, fair enough but when that’s not the case you might have to be prepared for the fact that the person might be … in the process of cleaning up, asleep (especially if they do night-shifts) or just not in the mood/headspace for visitors and when it’s like that I don’t think it’s rude to politely send people away. They can try their chances but it shouldn’t really be a case of passive-aggressively imposing on someone who wasn’t expecting you, unless you’re literally best friends.

[Redway]

If you turn up at my door without at least 2 hours warning you're not getting in and it's your own fault.

Some people would hypothetically take it a step further and literally just walk in without even knocking if the door wasn’t locked.

[Quantum Boy]

Some people would hypothetically take it a step further and literally just walk in without even knocking if the door wasn’t locked.

To be fair maybe it depends on age/life stage... When I was a younger man in a shared house at University, friends/family could and did just walk in and no one cared.

And that place had dried mashed potato stuck to the ceiling.

[smudgie]

My door is always open to friends and family.
They take me as they find me.
I love company.

[Redway]

To be fair maybe it depends on age/life stage... When I was a younger man in a shared house at University, friends/family could and did just walk in and no one cared.

And that place had dried mashed potato stuck to the ceiling.

Bloody hell.

[Redway]

we are not a very social bunch, what gets me is they will always turn up when the house is upside down

Like I said if it’s truly a surprise-visit then it shouldn’t really matter to them how they find the house/flat in any case (so long as it’s not too bad). But people who aren’t necessarily trying to surprise you but just drop by randomly without even being in the area or thinking to leave ordinary messages are annoying. If one was to be really antisocial you’d just shut the door on them and try not to feel too awkward about it.

[Redway]

No way

I see. I guess when you’re not very social anyway and fond of your own space having people you haven’t specially planned for turning up even with notice can be annoying.

When you’re living with other people/flatmates who you don’t really know or like enough to want to get to know them better people (from students to grown professionals/people otherwise in house-shares) tend to just stay in their rooms when they haven’t got somewhere to be (going back to Soldier Boy’s point), not because it doesn’t feel a little too cagey in there sometimes but because when you give your daily hustle and bustle a bit more of a social touch these annoying near-strangers will always bother you and ask too many questions. It’s not so much the contentment with being a total recluse (people generally cultivate social circles with people they actually know well outside those walls if they’re not trying to get to know the people they happen to live with better or just have boundaries when it comes to personal space) as it is just wanting those space-boundaries to be respected. A lot of extraverts find it hard to do/understand that and think they’re entitled to be your friend just because you live together. Age can help but it doesn’t always and that sense of let-me-in-nice-stranger-I-just-happen-to-share-a-living-space-with definitely carries on at times well into one’s 30s.

[Calderyon]

No surprise visitors.

[Redway]

I actually don't mind.....if people turn up unannounced they take me as they find me...usually in pjs lol. A lot of my friends will just walk in....pop the kettle on and help themselves to stuff in the fridge :laugh:

I was a bit more unsocial when my son was little and I was knackered but now its nice to have company now he's an anti social little git and lives in his bedroom

It’s all about taking people as they are. Especially if they’re supposed to be close friends.

[Redway]

My door is always open to friends and family.
They take me as they find me.
I love company.

You mean you don’t clean the whole house, mop it (if it’s that time of the week) and fetch them some tea and biscuit and a bottle of Lambrusco each for the road?