Were you bullied in school?

[Redway]

As it says in the title. I’d make an introductory caption (as I usually do) but I’m tired and can’t be arsed.

[Kate!]

I was, relentlessly. I was a tall girl, taller than a lot of the boys, and really soft natured and scared of my peers. I was a prime target.

[Redway]

I was, relentlessly. I was a tall girl, taller than a lot of the boys, and really soft natured and scared of my peers. I was a prime target.

Sorry you went through that, Kate.

[Kate!]

Ahh, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger as the song says.

[Redway]

Ahh, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger as the song says.

That’s very true. You’re definitely a strong person to have overcome so much and still be standing (and even getting the help you need at this particular point in time) so don’t ever give up hope, love. I’ve got every faith in you.

As for me I wouldn’t say I was bullied as-such (I was more of the underdog who just minded their business so as far as direct toxicity goes people left me alone for the most part) but I did have older years throwing low-key mud on my name for a few different reasons. It all got back to me but face-to-face there was nothing like that, not as far as I can remember. I think also that a lot of kids who look like easy targets really aren’t fazed by what other school-kids who aren’t in their orbit think of them and they get by totally okay (not always, obviously, but a good chunk of the time) so when it comes to things like that I try not to see people as more inherently vulnerable than they are. They might not be.

[Mystic Mock]

It weren't relentless in terms of how many people bullied me at School.

But when a bully would pick me out as a victim they'd turn out to be a complete and utter psychopath that would try to physically harm me in ways that no normal person would think to do, which saw two of them get expelled (which as you know it isn't easy to get expelled from UK Schools) but that was my experience of being a victim of bullying at School.

To be balanced though, when I was 4 or 5 years old, I remember smashing a girl's (in the same class as me) face off of a table, which weren't a glorious moment from me obviously.

But tbf I did have a really bad temper back in my School years, I honestly think that my behaviour back then would be looked on in horror by today's generation if there is currently a kid in School behaving like I did back then, understandably so tbf.

[bots]

nope, i was always among the tallest, so no-one would take me on

[Niamh.]

No I wasn't thankfully, I didn't see a lot of bullying going on either (that's not to say it never happened obviously)

[LaLaLand]

No. I was always pretty easy going and got on with almost everyone but if someone did try anything I’d give it back in equal amounts if not more sometimes.

I was the biggest lad in my year too by a mile so that might have helped. I was about 6’4 or 5 when I left school (I’m 6’8 now).

[Vanessa]

I was. But I try not to think about that. It makes me sad.

[smudgie]

No.
I was taught to fight back at a very early age.
Most bullies are cowards and don’t care for retaliation.

[Redway]

nope, i was always among the tallest, so no-one would take me on

Well, how tall were/are you?

[joeysteele]

No I was never bullied.

[bots]

Well, how tall were/are you?

Over 6ft

[Crimson Dynamo]

i wasnt

[Glenn.]

No I wasn’t. Wasn’t a lot of bullying in my school.

[Barry.]

I was yeah but only in high school, though I had lovely friends who would help me through it

[UserSince2005]

I was the bully

[Redway]

I was the bully

And why did you do it?

I used to pick on a Ghanaian kid (he was my then best friend’s cousin) and I couldn’t even tell you why I did it, not till this day. I’d have to low-key macro-dose on mushrooms or LSD to even reach that level of innermost enlightenment as to why I did some of the things I did when I was younger but I guess I just felt threatened that he was stealing my bestie from me so I was very hostile towards him. But then as time went on I made up with/apologised to him and we had a good chat at some party.

[UserSince2005]

And why did you do it?

I used to pick on a Ghanaian kid (he was my then best friend’s cousin) and I couldn’t even tell you why I did it, not till this day. I’d have to low-key macro-dose on mushrooms or LSD to even reach that level of innermost enlightenment as to why I did some of the things I did when I was younger but I guess I just felt threatened that he was stealing my bestie from me so I was very hostile towards him. But then as time went on I made up with/apologised to him and we had a good chat at some party.

The power and control. And the lunch money I could steal from my victims

[Redway]

As far as embarrassing gossip involving my name back in the day (within the walls of academia) goes one annoying example of it is when I accidentally fell asleep in class in my first week at sixth-form. I said I slept in class one time to my dad when I was in year 3 just to see how he would take it (someone two classes above me slept in class at one point then-recently so that was my inspiration) and come to think of it he gave me a 9 p.m. bedtime-curfew on weekdays for about two years after I told him so if wouldn’t happen again (inasmuch as I was always a night-owl) but it did actually happen to me in lower sixth/Year 12. What they didn’t know is that I was dealing with hardcore insomnia and was off and on diazepam for months but what they did see was the end result of me having not slept a literal wink in over 48 hours (me crashed out over the table for about 5 minutes). They probably thought I was just hungover or lazily disrespectful (not that it’s a rare thing to fall asleep in class) but the circumstance and context behind it couldn’t have been more different. But it still ended up being gossip that got back to me from someone who actually even went to a different sixth-form college.

[Quantum Boy]

nope, i was always among the tallest, so no-one would take me on

More or less the same BOTS - I was over 6ft by 13 (weirdly though I didn't grow all that much more, I was 6'2 at 15 and haven't gotten any taller since) and I was already jaded as **** and didn't have much time for idiots :joker:.

I would say if anything, I was a bit less pleasant to some people than I'd have liked looking back if anything. I was never "a bully" though, I'd never have singled anyone out, I was just a bit of an elitist and an arsehole. Thankfully I'm COMPLETELY different now :hee:.

The main thing though that I have genuine regrets about is that I turned a blind eye to an awful lot. I'm sure everyone does at high school, but there were a few kids who had it very rough and I felt like speaking up but didn't. My class the first few years of high school had a pretty tragic mix of a few strange, timid little characters and 5 or 6 of the absolute worst kids I ever encountered. And I mean seriously. Three of them are currently in prison and one of them it's for smuggling/selling guns :umm2:.

[Redway]

5”7-8: well-round medium
5”9: more-or-less the perfect height for a man. Other than to the usual slew of shallow women who have unrealistic expectations about height and expect their men to basically look like basketball-players.
5”10-11: tall average
6”+: tall-tall

Do you agree with my personal ranking of height, S.B.?

[Crimson Dynamo]

smallest boy LT is now 6 feet 4 on his bare feet. He can barely cram into his seat at the football. beyond that height I think you are at a major disadvantage in life in terms of living with things that are made

[Redway]

Yup. 6”4 is just about passable in the normal world. 6”5 and beyond is just astronomical for no reason. Giants tend to scare people with their height. What I’ve also noticed is that men who are more well-rounded height-wise and closer to average but still on the taller side (5”9, perhaps also 5”8 at a push, to 5”11) are more likely to have beards and deeper voices. What they lack in excess height that draws shallow women to guys (i.e., just by virtue of being 6”+) tend to be more strongly endowed in masculinity in other realms. You can’t always have it both ways.

[Niamh.]

Yup. 6”4 is just about passable in the normal world. 6”5 and beyond is just astronomical for no reason. Giants tend to scare people with their height. What I’ve also noticed is that men who are more well-rounded height-wise and closer to average but still on the taller side (5”9, perhaps also 5”8 at a push, to 5”11) are more likely to have beards and deeper voices. What they lack in excess height that draws shallow women to guys (i.e., just by virtue of being 6”+) tend to be more strongly endowed in masculinity in other realms. You can’t always have it both ways.Shallow women? Bloody hell.

[Redway]

Shallow women? Bloody hell.

I’m talking about that particular type of woman who would refuse to date/get romantically involved with a guy/man just because of him being less than 6 feet tall. I’m not talking about all or even the majority of women.

[Niamh.]

I’m talking about that particular type of woman who would refuse to date/get romantically involved with a guy/man just because of him being less than 6 feet tall. I’m not talking about all or even the majority of women.There's plenty of people, male and female, who don't get romantically involved with men/women for a myriad of reasons, be it physical or personality traits. Guess what? All of those reasons are perfectly valid when you're looking for a romantic partner because it's the most personal decision you will ever make in life, no one else has a say, the end.

[Redway]

There's plenty of people, male and female, who don't get romantically involved with men/women for a myriad of reasons, be it physical or personality traits. Guess what? All of those reasons are perfectly valid when you're looking for a romantic partner because it's the most personal decision you will ever make in life, no one else has a say, the end.

I get that but women (mostly younger ones) who are 'petty' about men's heights go straight through me. I'm a decent 5"10 so I'm not personally too bothered but the way some young women (and guys) go on you'd think being 6-feet tall was more physically masculine than having a beard/muzzie, deep-ish voice or being quite built (not that I'm putting people into stereotypical boxes based on a few random external characteristics; I'm just regurgitating what other people sadly think) and that it's the norm for a man/guy. It isn't. Only about 10% of the male population worldwide is 6 feet or above. It's actually far more normal for a man to be 5"8 than 6 feet. There aren't a lot of benefits to being a wannabe-giant if you're not shooting hoops into baskets for a living.

[Redway]

If anything it's disproportionate and puts people at a higher risk of cardiac issues, because it deviates from the norm in many ways. Unless these young people have a thing for basketball players, a decent 5"9 is enough. That one will do. Any more than 6"3 just ... it just. Ya.

[AnnieK]

I wasn't bullied - there wasn't a lot of bullying at my school really. I went to a Grammar school (on a free scholarship) and there were a lot of wealthy girls who would try and demean the less wealthy girls but I wouldn't class it as bullying. Plus the less wealthy girls tended to more street wise and harder so would have knocked them into next week if it was too malicious :laugh:

[Niamh.]

I get that but women (mostly younger ones) who are 'petty' about men's heights go straight through me. I'm a decent 5"10 so I'm not personally too bothered but the way some young women (and guys) go on you'd think being 6-feet tall was more physically masculine than having a beard/muzzie, deep-ish voice or being quite built (not that I'm putting people into stereotypical boxes based on a few random external characteristics; I'm just regurgitating what other people sadly think) and that it's the norm for a man/guy. It isn't. Only about 10% of the male population worldwide is 6 feet or above. It's actually far more normal for a man to be 5"8 than 6 feet. There aren't a lot of benefits to being a wannabe-giant if you're not shooting hoops into baskets for a living.

You're always generalising people Redway, if what you were saying was true then going by your statistics 90% of men would be single because of their height.

Gav is only 5'8" by the way and he's just perfect to me

[Redway]

You're always generalising people Redway, if what you were saying was true then going by your statistics 90% of men would be single because of their height.

Gav is only 5'8" by the way and he's just perfect to me

Yeah but to a lot of people a strong 5"10 is 6-foot. I'm not saying that all or even the vast majority of young women are desperate to have a guy that's the devil's number in feet-height (6) but surely you do sort of know that a lot of people get hung up on it in a shallow way that goes beyond just having certain preferences (which is fine). But I'm not talking about all or even the vast majority of ones. Just the ones who are noisy about their height preferences (which when they're so exaggerated and not exactly based on anything that's true do strike me as shallow).

And 5"8 is just enough. I'm definitely not arguing against that. That's essentially what I'm saying, even.

[AnnieK]

But what about the shallow men who want big boobs, blondes or brunettes etc etc? Surely its just personal preferences like anything when it comes to physical attraction

I've never met anyone who was that hung up on height?!

[Redway]

But what about the shallow men who want big boobs, blondes or brunettes etc etc? Surely its just personal preferences like anything when it comes to physical attraction

I've never met anyone who was that hung up on height?!

Men who objectify women are a different kind of shallow (to say the least) but at least things like "brunette" are valid preferences. This business of guys being 6-feet is something that's often been hugely blown out of proportion in certain groups and it's guys as well as young women (and in both cases I'm only talking about a certain amount of them, not all or even necessarily even the slightest majority). And in that conglomerate I'm talking about guys who are overly tall (more than 6"3 especially) more or less seriously teasing their male mates who are actually of normal height for being "short" when they might-well be tall-average, for daring to be less than 6 feet tall (which is far from the default height for a man worldwide).

[Quantum Boy]

Redway what if I'm 6'2, well built, rock a beard AND have a deep voice? Prime beef and still TiBB's biggest feminist :joker:

In all seriousness though, I've always been tall and in MY experience, it's men themselves who have issues regarding their height/other men's height -- not women. The same goes for being "ripped". I think on a genuine psychological level, most people who are attracted to men/masculine features like some size/muscle BUT the over-the-top muscle definition is 100% to impress other blokes :laugh:... vast majority of women are not that fussed or even dislike it.

But isn't that usually the way, and that's not just men, women too are often the harshest critics of their own/other women's bodies and notice things as negatives that men don't actually care about at all.

It's all just socialisation none of it particularly comes into the real psychology of attraction at all.

Also -- a lot of it is what people prefer when looking at people on a screen. Massive under-estimation of the effects of both personality and, as we are all just animals at the end of the day, pheromones when it comes to real world attraction.

[Quantum Boy]

I was also going to say I've never teased anyone for being short but ... at Uni there were 4 of us in a house, 3 of us were over 6' and one 5'7. And OK yes... we sometimes put stuff on top of the kitchen cupboards where we knew he couldn't reach, and then would have a good giggle when we were sitting in the living room and could hear the muffled sigh and swearing then him dragging a chair across the kitchen to climb up.

But c'mon that is FUNNY :joker:.

[Niamh.]

Yeah but to a lot of people a strong 5"10 is 6-foot. I'm not saying that all or even the vast majority of young women are desperate to have a guy that's the devil's number in feet-height (6) but surely you do sort of know that a lot of people get hung up on it in a shallow way that goes beyond just having certain preferences (which is fine). But I'm not talking about all or even the vast majority of ones. Just the ones who are noisy about their height preferences (which when they're so exaggerated and not exactly based on anything that's true do strike me as shallow).

And 5"8 is just enough. I'm definitely not arguing against that. That's essentially what I'm saying, even.

5'8" is just enough for what? Now you're the one who sounds shallow about men's height :idc:

[Niamh.]

Redway what if I'm 6'2, well built, rock a beard AND have a deep voice? Prime beef and still TiBB's biggest feminist :joker:

In all seriousness though, I've always been tall and in MY experience, it's men themselves who have issues regarding their height/other men's height -- not women. The same goes for being "ripped". I think on a genuine psychological level, most people who are attracted to men/masculine features like some size/muscle BUT the over-the-top muscle definition is 100% to impress other blokes :laugh:... vast majority of women are not that fussed or even dislike it.

But isn't that usually the way, and that's not just men, women too are often the harshest critics of their own/other women's bodies and notice things as negatives that men don't actually care about at all.

It's all just socialisation none of it particularly comes into the real psychology of attraction at all.

Also -- a lot of it is what people prefer when looking at people on a screen. Massive under-estimation of the effects of both personality and, as we are all just animals at the end of the day, pheromones when it comes to real world attraction.

Great post and spot on. I have a "type" when it comes to which celebrities I find attractive, not so much in real life because as you pointed out there's much more involved in being really attracted to a person than just what they look like. I would say what I found most attractive in Gavin when I met him was his confidence and sense of humour (and his arms :smug: )

[Quantum Boy]

5'8" is just enough for what? Now you're the one who sounds shallow about men's height :idc:

To be a man! :omgno:

My father in law is only 5'6 ... I don't think it's ever bothered him that much until recently, MiL and my wife are the same height, her sister is only 5'1 ... my eldest daughter recently overtook her mum and is thus now taller than her grandad aged 14 (and by a decent margin now, she just hit 5'8). I think he does find that a little confronting :umm2:.

[Quantum Boy]

Great post and spot on. I have a "type" when it comes to which celebrities I find attractive, not so much in real life because as you pointed out there's much more involved in being really attracted to a person than just what they look like. I would say what I found most attractive in Gavin when I met him was his confidence and sense of humour (and his arms :smug: )

It drives my wife mad when I say I don't have celebs that I find attractive, she thinks I'm being coy/not telling the truth :joker:. I'm like "I can tell you which characters in films I find attractive but I wouldn't necessarily find the same actor attractive in a different role..."

Seems to be very little to do with looks. Not zero obviously. But that bit past "objectively aesthetically pleasing person".

[Strictly Jake]

All the time!

[Niamh.]

It drives my wife mad when I say I don't have celebs that I find attractive, she thinks I'm being coy/not telling the truth :joker:. I'm like "I can tell you which characters in films I find attractive but I wouldn't necessarily find the same actor attractive in a different role..."

Seems to be very little to do with looks. Not zero obviously. But that bit past "objectively aesthetically pleasing person".

Actually a good example of that is Cillian Murphy (not for me but I've heard loads of people say this about him) That they don't fancy Cillian Murphy but they fancy Thomas Shelby (Cillian Murphys character in Peaky Blinders in case anyone hasn't watched that and if you haven't you're missing out!)

[Redway]

5'8" is just enough for what? Now you're the one who sounds shallow about men's height :idc:

"Just enough" as in more-or-less a perfect medium for a man. That's what I meant. :love:

[Redway]

Redway what if I'm 6'2, well built, rock a beard AND have a deep voice? Prime beef and still TiBB's biggest feminist :joker:

In all seriousness though, I've always been tall and in MY experience, it's men themselves who have issues regarding their height/other men's height -- not women. The same goes for being "ripped". I think on a genuine psychological level, most people who are attracted to men/masculine features like some size/muscle BUT the over-the-top muscle definition is 100% to impress other blokes :laugh:... vast majority of women are not that fussed or even dislike it.

But isn't that usually the way, and that's not just men, women too are often the harshest critics of their own/other women's bodies and notice things as negatives that men don't actually care about at all.

It's all just socialisation none of it particularly comes into the real psychology of attraction at all.

Also -- a lot of it is what people prefer when looking at people on a screen. Massive under-estimation of the effects of both personality and, as we are all just animals at the end of the day, pheromones when it comes to real world attraction.

B.I.B.: an anomaly.

A lot of young woman have been sucked into the toxicity of this business of guys/men being extra-tall just to that the "6"4" some guys write on their Insta. bio's (using Instagram like it's Tinder or Fabswingers, I.M.O., is just the height of vapid shallowness but that's a different story altogether so let's not get into that, eh?) is extra-warranted.

O.T.T. muscle is just nasty but that's just my opinion. I know some guys/young men (and when I say young I suppose I mean anyone under t'age of, sort of, 35/40) channel some of their internal baggage into sports/working out and just throw themselves in the gym/football but people who are all-sport (unless it's athletics) and zero personality besides what they've constructed for themselves on the basis of footie this, hench that are some of the most vapid and boring people going, let me tell you.

[Redway]

To be a man! :omgno:

My father in law is only 5'6 ... I don't think it's ever bothered him that much until recently, MiL and my wife are the same height, her sister is only 5'1 ... my eldest daughter recently overtook her mum and is thus now taller than her grandad aged 14 (and by a decent margin now, she just hit 5'8). I think he does find that a little confronting :umm2:.

The way I look at it is that women on-average tend to have longer hair for similar biological reasons that men on-average are taller than woman but that doesn't stop men with long hair from looking seriously cool a lot of the time (and men, including probably Jesus from all depictions of him over the millennia, have been known to grow their hair out for thousands of years and plait it up in all sorts of ways so it's not such a rare thing historically anyhow). Likewise I find taller women (5"7 - 5"9) quite attractive. I know women have the benefit of high-heels (which ironically were originally men's apparel) to tower over a lot of people if they're already anything from 5"6 plus (and a 5"11 woman who often wears heels - like one of my aunties - is going to look very tall indeed) but getting intimidated and feeling emasculated because of a tall woman is just pathetic and insecure.