I'm absolutely furious, spitting mad, and disgusted. I hate liars.

[Kate!]

So, I go out for lunch with a few women I knew from bingo a couple of times a week.

Last week, after I got back from Blackpool I went and one lady was upset, she was struggling to pay a bill. I gave her 25 pounds to help her. This Monday, bank holiday, she reported me to the pub staff for allegedly asking her for 10 pounds and not giving it her back!!!! They believed her, but the truth was she gave it to me and said here's a treat with thanks. I'm now barred from this pub, and I'm utterly fuming. I tried to explain the entire situation but they weren't interested. The manager said, there's no appeal process, I decide who does and doesn't come in my pub!!

I think she's taken leave of her senses, the ungrateful cow. If she wasn't an older woman I'd have swung for her.

[Vanessa]

Not a genuine friend if they can do this. I would cut all contact.

[Redway]

Disgusting. I’d level with her and find out what she’s playing at.

[Ammi]

…that’s very harsh and unfair of the landlord…to only listen to the other person’s story and then to bar you without hearing your voice in it also…(do you think…)…that she knew that she wouldn’t be able to repay you so has ‘negotiated’ and manufactured a story so that she can avoid you…?…I’m so sorry for how this has left you feeling right now…:hug:…

[smudgie]

So, I go out for lunch with a few women I knew from bingo a couple of times a week.

Last week, after I got back from Blackpool I went and one lady was upset, she was struggling to pay a bill. I gave her 25 pounds to help her. This Monday, bank holiday, she reported me to the pub staff for allegedly asking her for 10 pounds and not giving it her back!!!! They believed her, but the truth was she gave it to me and said here's a treat with thanks. I'm now barred from this pub, and I'm utterly fuming. I tried to explain the entire situation but they weren't interested. The manager said, there's no appeal process, I decide who does and doesn't come in my pub!!

I think she's taken leave of her senses, the ungrateful cow. If she wasn't an older woman I'd have swung for her.

Hmmmm. You need better friends to be honest.

[Kate!]

…that’s very harsh and unfair of the landlord…to only listen to the other person’s story and then to bar you without hearing your voice in it also…(do you think…)…that she knew that she wouldn’t be able to repay you so has ‘negotiated’ and manufactured a story so that she can avoid you…?…I’m so sorry for how this has left you feeling right now…:hug:…

I feel truly horrible and badly done to, tbh. She put her head down and couldn't even look at me. I just stormed out.

[AnnieK]

What's it got to the do with the pub? Its madness they have barred you due to an argument between friends. It's between you and her. Did she pay you back the £25?

[Kate!]

What's it got to the do with the pub? Its madness they have barred you due to an argument between friends. It's between you and her. Did she pay you back the £25?

She turned on the waterworks to the staff, no she didn't return the 25 pounds, I wasn't holding her to it, I mainly wanted to help. I'll not be so generous again though. A lesson learned.

[Ammi]

I feel truly horrible and badly done to, tbh. She put her head down and couldn't even look at me. I just stormed out.

..it’s very unfair that the staff only listened to one voice and then made a very harsh decision without listening to you…but then, that’s not the place that’s good for you to be, is it…I understand your anger but knowing is so much better than still having that person as a part of your life …

[rusticgal]

Why did you take it ‘as a treat’?….surely it was part of the payback of the 25.00 you gave her?

[Ammi]

She turned on the waterworks to the staff, no she didn't return the 25 pounds, I wasn't holding her to it, I mainly wanted to help. I'll not be so generous again though. A lesson learned.

….maybe she can’t face you that she can’t return the money so fabricated a story to avoid you and paying you back…

[Kate!]

Why did you take it ‘as a treat’?….surely it was part of the payback of the 25.00 you gave her?

When I gave her the 25 I didn't say it was a lend, I just gave it to her, and said.put that in the purse. I was leaving it up to her if she could afford to.give it back, she's always been a really lovely woman, I don't understand it tbh. Her loss at the end of the day.

[AnnieK]

I still don't get why they barred you? If you owed the pub maybe but sounds like terrible business to bar someone for that? Madness

[Kate!]

I still don't get why they barred you? If you owed the pub maybe but sounds like terrible business to bar someone for that? Madness

It was because she turned on the waterworks. They said I had harassed her till she gave me the money, and they couldn't condone customers doing that sort of thing. I think she has problems.

[Ammi]

When I gave her the 25 I didn't say it was a lend, I just gave it to her, and said.put that in the purse. I was leaving it up to her if she could afford to.give it back, she's always been a really lovely woman, I don't understand it tbh. Her loss at the end of the day.

…aahhhh, ok so it wasn’t a loan…I misunderstood, so her manufacturing this to avoid paying you back wouldn’t make sense…it’s so bad that the pub staff just listened to one voice and then barred someon on that without hearing them…

[AnnieK]

How soon after she gave you the money dis she turn on the waterworks? I think you are well shut of the friend and the pub tbh

[Kate!]

I'm really disappointed in the woman. She gorgeous their sympathy and because I got annoyed and said she wasn't being truthful they were looking at me like I was a right bully. She can't come out with us anymore.

[Kate!]

How soon after she gave you the money dis she turn on the waterworks? I think you are well shut of the friend and the pub tbh

About an hour, when we were nearly ready.for going.

[Ammi]

…(…in your group…)…there are others who are part of the group and have lunch etc…?…what is their take on this/input, have they ever had any issues themselves with this lady at all…is she someone who you’ve all known for a long while…?…

[Kate!]

They were all taken aback and I don't think they really knew what to say at the time. I've spoken with them since and we are still going to meet up elsewhere, thank goodness.

[Ammi]

They were all taken aback and I don't think they really knew what to say at the time. I've spoken with them since and we are still going to meet up elsewhere, thank goodness.

…well all I can say, Kate…is the pub/pub staff choosing to just listen to one story from one person and to act on that one voice in such an extreme way as to bar you without listening to you or any other person in the group who all seem equally confused by it all …then they deserve to lose all of your custom ….

[bots]

life is too short, go to another pub and move on

[GiRTh]

Sorry to hear that Kate.

What is this pub? Is it a place where you all go a few times a week?

[Benjamin]

This is why I never loan anyone money, even friends. It muddies the water far too often.

I think you’ve got yourself lucky there it wasn’t more, and are better off without that type of person in your life. Shame about the pub, but there are other pubs.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Id imagine there is a backstory here we are not privy to...

:ninja2:

[Ammi]

This is why I never loan anyone money, even friends. It muddies the water far too often.

I think you’ve got yourself lucky there it wasn’t more, and are better off without that type of person in your life. Shame about the pub, but there are other pubs.

…and pubs that won’t bar someone without hearing their voice, that’s so shockingly bad of them without even listening to Kate and allowing her a voice…

[GiRTh]

Take Ammi's advice

[Benjamin]

…and pubs that won’t bar someone without hearing their voice, that’s so shockingly bad of them without even listening to Kate and allowing her a voice…

To be fair that’s most pubs. They aren’t there to advocate between people’s issues, they’re there to run a business and if someone (rightly or wrongly) is causing trouble/disrupting that business they remove the problem. Plus the landlord/lady may have a better relationship with the other so will generally take their side (although I’m not sure of the full facts in this instance).

[Redway]

Would you consider writing them a letter to state your peace even if they don’t want to literally listen to you?
This is why I never loan anyone money, even friends. It muddies the water far too often.

I think you’ve got yourself lucky there it wasn’t more, and are better off without that type of person in your life. Shame about the pub, but there are other pubs.

Let’s just hope you never end up being in need. I’d loan someone £200 in an instant if I had it to spare and they needed it more than me.

[Benjamin]

Would you consider writing them a letter to state your peace even if they don’t want to literally listen to you?


Let’s just hope you never end up being in need.

Let’s hope so hey. Let’s also hope you never lend a friend money and get screwed over. ;)

[Crimson Dynamo]

Let’s hope so hey. Let’s also hope you never lend a friend money and get screwed over. ;)

amen

[Redway]

Let’s hope so hey. Let’s also hope you never lend a friend money and get screwed over. ;)

That’s never happened to me. I’m not really interested in your reasoning behind justifying your selfishness but all I know is that a genuine friend in need is a friend indeed. We all go through tough times and I’d rather be remembered as the person who helped rather than the one who gave silly excuses.

[Benjamin]

That’s never happened to me. I’m not really interested in your reasoning behind justifying your selfishness but all I know is that a genuine friend in need is a friend indeed. We all go through tough times and I’d rather be remembered as the person who helped rather than the one who gave silly excuses.

You’ll see how it feels if it ever happens to you. Come back and see me with your thoughts then. Until then you have no right to judge me on this topic.

[Crimson Dynamo]

That’s never happened to me..

quite the call

[Redway]

You’ll see how it feels if it ever happens to you. Come back and see me with your thoughts then. Until then you have no right to judge me on this topic.

I have every right to pass passing judgement based on the contextual input I do have. Like it, don't like it. That is not my problem. You have every right to not like it but I have every right to comment in the first place.

[Benjamin]

I have every right to pass passing judgement based on the contextual input I do have. Like it, don't like it. That is not my problem.

No but you seem to like to make things a problem. Guess that’s just the type of person you are.

[Redway]

No but you seem to like to make things a problem. Guess that’s just the type of person you are.

If you knew me you wouldn’t have to guess. You’d just know what be-gwanin. either way.

[UserSince2005]

I’d smash the pub up. The absolute cheek

[thesheriff443]

No but you seem to like to make things a problem. Guess that’s just the type of person you are.

If a friend needed money for food would you lend them some or let them go hungry?

[Benjamin]

If you knew me you wouldn’t have to guess. You’d just know what be-gwanin. either way.

Sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself that more than me. But how about next time rather than a character breakdown of a person on a comment they post you just explain why you’d be different. Will get you a lot further in a conversation.

[Benjamin]

If a friend needed money for food would you lend them some or let them go hungry?

I’d cook for them. And see what provisions I had for them as I have done before.

I’d also point them to places which could help them long-term.

[GiRTh]

That’s never happened to me. I’m not really interested in your reasoning behind justifying your selfishness but all I know is that a genuine friend in need is a friend indeed. We all go through tough times and I’d rather be remembered as the person who helped rather than the one who gave silly excuses.

ajcZfgSp74w

But a friend with weed is better :dance:

Its good you trust people but be careful with that. You'd be surprised what people will do to get their hands on a few quid. More like stunned

[Cherie]

I am very confused Kate, so you lent her 25 quid, then she gave you a tenner to treat yourself and the argument started over what exactly? Are you sure you didn't all have too many vinos :laugh:

[Crimson Dynamo]

sorry are we all just believing spooon fed data?

lol

come on people

[GiRTh]

I’d cook for them. And see what provisions I had for them as I have done before.

I’d also point them to places which could help them long-term.This. :clap1:

[Dogeatdog]

This is why I don’t lend/ give out money. Just ends up getting you into messy situations.

[Redway]

ajcZfgSp74w

But a friend with weed is better :dance:

Its good you trust people but be careful with that. You'd be surprised what people will do to get their hands on a few quid. More like stunned

It’s not about trusting the whole world but just knowing and accepting that anyone can fall into hard times financially (a pretty universal human experience). I’m more inclined to want to do something about it so long as boundaries are respected and I can comfortably spare the amount they need. People being in need is no myth.

[Ammi]

I’d cook for them. And see what provisions I had for them as I have done before.

I’d also point them to places which could help them long-term.

…:love:…

…long term help that will maybe lead to that person not having consider a loan etc is the most valuable help …

[Benjamin]

…:love:…

…long term help that will maybe lead to that person not having consider a loan etc is the most valuable help …

Yeah not a loan or credit card haha.

[Redway]

Anyway. I guess everyone has their own boundaries and principles about money. Me, my social boundaries are tighter than my financial ones and not being able to give is more indicative of lack of disposable funds on my part than an unwillingness to give or worry that I’m being duped over. That’s a risk that I take when I can afford to. At the end of the day everyone needs money, and people do struggle.

[Ammi]

It’s not about trusting the whole world but just knowing and accepting that anyone can fall into hard times financially (a pretty universal human experience). I’m more inclined to want to do something about it so long as boundaries are respected and I can comfortably spare the amount they need. People being in need is no myth.

…I’m sure that it’s appreciated that you can help in that way, Redway…but there isn’t just one way to help someone if/when they need it and Ben’s way and the way of others may be different… because it’s not always only about a ‘problem or need’ now and the solving of it but to try to help them going forward with their lives as well…

[bots]

Family, i would lend/give to in an instant if i could help, but no-one else. There are just too many scammers out there that take advantage of well meaning people and they can be very convincing

[GiRTh]

It’s not about trusting the whole world but just knowing and accepting that anyone can fall into hard times financially (a pretty universal human experience). I’m more inclined to want to do something about it so long as boundaries are respected and I can comfortably spare the amount they need. People being in need is no myth.You seem like a great guy and a true friend. I really like the threads you create too :joker: I'm just saying, due to the job I have, I dont advice anyone to give a loan unless they truly trust the person and can set boundaries, if necessary.

[Redway]

You seem like a great guy and a true friend. I really like the threads you create too :joker: I'm just saying, due to the job I have, I dont advice anyone to give a loan unless they truly trust the person and can set boundaries, if necessary.

One basic rule anyone would do good to follow is to not loan it out if you can’t afford to part without indefinitely. It’s just about being cautious about how reliable the person you’re lending money is if it’s a sum you’re expecting to get back. My main issue on this thread is people extrapolating from this example that lending money is inherently a disaster. It can be but to me it’s just different with family and friends you’ve known for years. Those people aren’t suddenly non-genuine should they need to ask for money just because of a few rotten apples who take the piss. Giving money directly might not be your preferred way of helping people financially and that’s fine but should the waters really be muddled off the bat with loved ones because of the acts of certain people?

[Benjamin]

One basic rule anyone would do good to follow is to not loan it out if you can’t afford to part without indefinitely. It’s just about being cautious about how reliable the person you’re lending money is if it’s a sum you’re expecting to get back.

The trouble is you won’t really know how reliable this person is until you do it. It leaves a very bitter taste if it does happen (which I genuinely hope you don’t ever experience).

Also, I’m not saying people aren’t in need, but I try other ways to help. If somebody is constantly needing to borrow money then they need bigger help than I can provide (hence why I’d point them to places who will be able to help them long term).

[Ammi]

One basic rule anyone would do good to follow is to not loan it out if you can’t afford to part without indefinitely. It’s just about being cautious about how reliable the person you’re lending money is if it’s a sum you’re expecting to get back. My main issue on this thread is people extrapolating from this example that lending money is inherently a disaster. It can be but to me it’s just different with family and friends you’ve known for years. Those people aren’t suddenly non-genuine should they need to ask for money just because of a few rotten apples who take the piss. Giving money directly might not be your preferred way of helping people financially and that’s fine but should the waters really be muddled off the bat with loved ones because of the acts of certain people?

…that’s very wise advice and something to live by …my dad always said similar…if someone needs to loan money then they may struggle to pay it back so never loan…only ever give…

[Redway]

The trouble is you won’t really know how reliable this person is until you do it. It leaves a very bitter taste if it does happen (which I genuinely hope you don’t ever experience).

I’m not say people aren’t in need, but I try other ways to help. If somebody is constantly needing to borrow money then they need bigger help than I can provide (hence why I’d point them to places who will be able to help them long term).

Okay, that’s true. That’s part of what I was talking about re. boundaries. It might be the boundary of not having to ask for money directly too often, because that can be a pain, whether you want to help them out like that or not.

[Redway]

…that’s very wise advice and something to live by …my dad always said similar…if someone needs to loan money then they may struggle to pay it back so never loan…only ever give…

Yeah. And to be fair Ben does have a point about not knowing how reliable at least certain people are until you become a lender. I’m still inclined to want to bank on the reliability of family and solid friends (I wasn’t really talking about random acquaintances anyway). It’s just unfortunate that unreliable people leave a bad rep. behind for everyone-else.

[GiRTh]

One basic rule anyone would do good to follow is to not loan it out if you can’t afford to part without indefinitely. It’s just about being cautious about how reliable the person you’re lending money is if it’s a sum you’re expecting to get back. My main issue on this thread is people extrapolating from this example that lending money is inherently a disaster. It can be but to me it’s just different with family and friends you’ve known for years. Those people aren’t suddenly non-genuine should they need to ask for money just because of a few rotten apples who take the piss. Giving money directly might not be your preferred way of helping people financially and that’s fine but should the waters really be muddled off the bat with loved ones because of the acts of certain people?You answer the question as to why we're weary of lending money., There are too many variables with lending money that cannot be anticipated. The trustworthiness of the person, your own affordability etc. its a can of worms that should not be opened and can severely impact relationships.

[Benjamin]

Yeah. And to be fair Ben does have a point about not knowing how reliable at least certain people are until you become a lender. I’m still inclined to want to bank on the reliability of family and solid friends (I wasn’t really talking about random acquaintances anyway). It’s just unfortunate that unreliable people leave a bad rep. behind for everyone-else.

Of course. I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t lend somebody money if you want to. It’s a kind act. I just hope people don’t betray your kind act. It changes your future mind set on it all.

[GiRTh]

The trouble is you won’t really know how reliable this person is until you do it. It leaves a very bitter taste if it does happen (which I genuinely hope you don’t ever experience).

Also, I’m not saying people aren’t in need, but I try other ways to help. If somebody is constantly needing to borrow money then they need bigger help than I can provide (hence why I’d point them to places who will be able to help them long term).This. Signpost them to people who can give long term help. A loan only means they now owe you as well as all the others.

[Redway]

You answer the question as to why we're weary of lending money., There are too many variables with lending money that cannot be anticipated. The trustworthiness of the person, your own affordability etc. its a can of worms that should not be opened and can severely impact relationships.

I’m assuming affordability. If you haven’t got it to spare, that’s that. Not taking no for an answer is obviously a major red-flag. It’s not something you can be bullied into.

If it’s a can of worms you want to open and you always get it back from the person when you’ve made it clear that it really is a loan and not a free gift, that’s on you and fair enough. I wouldn’t say no to it, but obviously I haven’t been screwed over yet. Maybe I would be singing from a different hymn-sheet otherwise. And I have been duped to be fair. Just not by anyone I’d consider an amicable relationship in any case. I took a major risk and it backfired.

[Ammi]

Yeah. And to be fair Ben does have a point about not knowing how reliable at least certain people are until you become a lender. I’m still inclined to want to bank on the reliability of family and solid friends (I wasn’t really talking about random acquaintances anyway). It’s just unfortunate that unreliable people leave a bad rep. behind for everyone-else.

…yeah, I think Ben also has some very sound and good advice because it isn’t just a ‘one fix’ thing and loaning money for instance…?…can provide like a ‘plaster’ type fix in a moment but still might leave lots of other things that could be addressed for lifestyle changes so that it’s not such a struggle for that person…?…those are the things that he’s suggesting also that he adopts as looking at different layers of a situation when someone needs help…

[Mystic Mock]

…that’s very harsh and unfair of the landlord…to only listen to the other person’s story and then to bar you without hearing your voice in it also…(do you think…)…that she knew that she wouldn’t be able to repay you so has ‘negotiated’ and manufactured a story so that she can avoid you…?…I’m so sorry for how this has left you feeling right now…:hug:…

I'm going to guess that the woman is friends with the Landlord of the Pub, hence the refusal to listen to Kate's side of the story.

[Redway]

I'm going to guess that the woman is friends with the Landlord of the Pub, hence the refusal to listen to Kate's side of the story.

I’d honestly write a letter. Slam it on her table and leave it with her. Title on envelope: your friend’s a lying gobsh*te.

[Mystic Mock]

I’d honestly write a letter. Slam it on her table and leave it with her. Title on envelope: your friend’s a lying gobsh*te.

I would probably do something similar tbh.:laugh:

But I get that Kate might want to try and move on, which is a valid choice tbf.

[Beso]

That’s never happened to me. I’m not really interested in your reasoning behind justifying your selfishness but all I know is that a genuine friend in need is a friend indeed. We all go through tough times and I’d rather be remembered as the person who helped rather than the one who gave silly excuses.

It's not selfish not to hand over money that's ridiculous to say. What is selfish however, is going cap in hand expecting people to bail you out due to your own incompetence

[Redway]

It's not selfish not to hand over money that's ridiculous to say. What is selfish however, is going cap in hand expecting people to bail you out due to your own incompetence

People fall on hard times without being incompetent all the time. Don’t judge indiscriminately when you don’t know individual people’s circumstances.

[Beso]

People fall on hard times without being incompetent all the time. Don’t judge indiscriminately when you don’t know individual people’s circumstances.

Perhaps take a leaf out of that book when you are calling people selfish for not giving hand outs.:smug:

[Kate!]

I've spoken with Citizens Advice and they said I have a case, they are going to recommend me a legal aid solicitor. I'm seriously thinking about it.

[bots]

A case for what?

[Ammi]

…well done, Kate…it’s good to channel focus into being pro-active…I don’t know what the case would be but just take some ‘cooling down time’ also and ask enough questions to be aware of what it all involves and be sure that’s the direction that you’re happy to go in…it’s all your decision…

[Crimson Dynamo]

A case for what?

Getting barred oot the Clansman for illegal payday loans of course!

https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/63d84cf4f0ccae15526c06f0/64b7bbca42421ae3cb052b5f_Breakneck_Comedy_Comedian _Gavin%20Mitchell%2002.jpg

[Kate!]

…well done, Kate…it’s good to channel focus into being pro-active…I don’t know what the case would be but just take some ‘cooling down time’ also and ask enough questions to be aware of what it all involves and be sure that’s the direction that you’re happy to go in…it’s all your decision…

Yeah I have to consider whether I really want to put myself through the stress, but I do feel very strongly about the injustice.of it all.

[Ammi]

Yeah I have to consider whether I really want to put myself through the stress, but I do feel very strongly about the injustice.of it all.

…yeah, I do get that…it’s good to step back from the heat of those feelings, though and take some time to think it through and talk it through with someone who can advise you accurately what involvement it will have for you…it’s your decision as to whether it’s an injustice you want to pursue legally or leave or not…

[bots]

A pub doesn't need to provide any reasons to bar you and unless the money thing has written documentation detailing the loan, there is no case. Also, any legal action will cost more than the amount you are talking about

[GiRTh]

A case for what?X2

Kate, there is no case here. What did the CAB say?

[GoldHeart]

I’d cook for them. And see what provisions I had for them as I have done before.

I’d also point them to places which could help them long-term.

I agree with you Benjamin, and unfortunately it looks like this bingo lady has issues....if she can twist things around like that & blatantly lie and cry like that.


In certain situations,I think it's best to be on the safe side and not always part with your cash. It definitely can muddy the waters .

[Kate!]

X2

Kate, there is no case here. What did the CAB say?

They said there was because I hadn't been allowed to give my side of the story. They said I'd have been within my rights to get the police. It was her word against mine. I've already explained earlier in the thread that she gave me the money as a thank you and I did not ask to borrow it. She's a bare faced liar. I hate that. She turned on the waterworks and made me look extremely bad. Some friend she turned out to be.

[GiRTh]

They said there was because I hadn't been allowed to give my side of the story. They said I'd have been within my rights to get the police. It was her word against mine. I've already explained earlier in the thread that she gave me the money as a thank you and I did not ask to borrow it. She's a bare faced liar. I hate that. She turned on the waterworks and made me look extremely bad. Some friend she turned out to be.Awful friend. Drop her

[Dogeatdog]

I've spoken with Citizens Advice and they said I have a case, they are going to recommend me a legal aid solicitor. I'm seriously thinking about it.

I wouldn’t even bother going down this route and I’m kinda struggling how there can be some sort of case here tbh.

If I were you Kate and apologies for sounding blunt but I’d cut ties with the so called “friend” because she must be a pretty awful person to do something like that and just find a different pub to go to. There must be other pubs local to you that you can enjoy?

Wouldn’t bother trying to take this further or anything because it’s more hassle for you than what it’s actually worth. (Just my opinion of course :thumbs:)

[Benjamin]

I wouldn’t even bother going down this route and I’m kinda struggling how there can be some sort of case here tbh.

If I were you Kate and apologies for sounding blunt but I’d cut ties with the so called “friend” because she must be a pretty awful person to do something like that and just find a different pub to go to. There must be other pubs local to you that you can enjoy?

Wouldn’t bother trying to take this further or anything because it’s more hassle for you than what it’s actually worth. (Just my opinion of course :thumbs:)

I agree with Dog, it’ll be more hassle than it’s worth and may not even bring you any outcome you’re hoping for.

[GiRTh]

Agree with these guys. Theres no case Kate. As for the police, unless one of you claims the money was stolen, the police will not get involved. Any kind of agreement for a loan etc is not a criminal matter.

[bots]

i'm sorry but if a landlord chooses to prevent you from entering his bar, he is entitled to do so. He doesn't need a reason, he doesn't need to listen to both sides, and i'm sure Citizens advice would have told you this

It does feel to me that you are only giving out one small portion of a story here. Why must you go to that pub in particular?

[Kate!]

i'm sorry but if a landlord chooses to prevent you from entering his bar, he is entitled to do so. He doesn't need a reason, he doesn't need to listen to both sides, and i'm sure Citizens advice would have told you this

It does feel to me that you are only giving out one small portion of a story here. Why must you go to that pub in particular?

I'm sorry but that's the whole story. That's all there was to it? The friendship is now over. As for the pub, I like it. I like the food, the atmosphere is good. I did nothing wrong to merit being excluded. I am rightfully annoyed.

[bots]

I'm sorry but that's the whole story. That's all there was to it? The friendship is now over. As for the pub, I like it. I like the food, the atmosphere is good. I did nothing wrong to merit being excluded. I am rightfully annoyed.

but its not your pub. The landlord decides who can enter, and he doesn't need to provide any reason to exclude you

[Kate!]

but its not your pub. The landlord decides who can enter, and he doesn't need to provide any reason to exclude you

Yes, but to repeat, I did nothing at all wrong. And I wasn't aggressive, I just left the pub very quickly. It's very unfair. I don't expect you'd like it if it happened to you.

[Kate!]

I can't believe people are implying I've no right to be annoyed I've been excluded for something I simply didn't do.

[GiRTh]

I can't believe people are implying I've no right to be annoyed I've been excluded for something I simply didn't do.What were you accused of doing?

[Kate!]

What were you accused of doing?

My so called friend gave me ten pounds as a treat because I helped her out financially last week and then turned on the waterworks to the bar staff and said she'd lent it to me and I wouldn't give it back. So they barred me. She made me look really bad. It's all in the thread, you haven't even read it?

[GiRTh]

My so called friend gave me ten pounds as a treat because I helped her out financially last week and then turned on the waterworks to the bar staff and said she'd lent it to me and I wouldn't give it back. So they barred me. She made me look really bad. It's all in the thread, you haven't even read it?
No need for that Kate. I'm trying to help but the details are a little confusing. At one point you said that both of you had given money as a gift so forgive me if I'm not up on all the facts. Thanks for restating the issue.

SO the accusation was that the money given to you was a gift and not a loan. How did the pub get involved? Was the money give by you ever considered a loan or was it just the money you received not the money you gave.?

EDIT: See how confusing it is. I got it wrong. That should read the "accusation was that the money given to you was a loan and not a gift.

[Liam-]

Let’s try not to waste government funded legal help on being barred from a private business shall we

[Dogeatdog]

I can't believe people are implying I've no right to be annoyed I've been excluded for something I simply didn't do.

I understand your frustration here. I was in a situation before where a pub kicked me and my friends out for rolling tobacco. They thought we was rolling weed. I even remember saying to them that if we were doing that, wouldn’t it be stupid to be doing it directly on the table and secondly you would actually smell it as well.

They kicked us out and instead of taking it further we just thought sod it there’s another pub 15 mins away, let’s just go there instead. There’s no point staying angry about it just find somewhere else you can enjoy.

Didn’t return to that pub for years afterwards and I remember my cousin saying once that he was in there with a few of his friends and they legit wanted to kick them out for laughing. :laugh:

[Kate!]

No need for that Kate. I'm trying to help but the details are a little confusing. At one point you said that both of you had given money as a gift so forgive me if I'm not up on all the facts. Thanks for restating the issue.

SO the accusation was that the money given to you was a gift and not a loan. How did the pub get involved? Was the money give by you ever considered a loan or was it just the money you received not the money you gave.?

No. Sorry GiRTh, I just feel like people are getting at me.

Ok to clarify, the money I gave her last week was a gift. 25 pounds. I didn't want it back. Then she gave me 10 in the pub, and said here's a treat to say thank you. So.i accepted it. Later she involved the bar staff by going crying to them saying I'd asked.to borrow it and wouldn't give it back. On those grounds they barred me.

[Kate!]

Let’s try not to waste government funded legal help on being barred from a private business shall we

Excuse me. Would you not be aggrieved if you were barred for something you hadn't done? Because somebody lied about you?

[GiRTh]

No. Sorry GiRTh, I just feel like people are getting at me.

Ok to clarify, the money I gave her last week was a gift. 25 pounds. I didn't want it back. Then she gave me 10 in the pub, and said here's a treat to say thank you. So.i accepted it. Later she involved the bar staff by going crying to them saying I'd asked.to borrow it and wouldn't give it back. On those grounds they barred me.Thanks for clearing it up.

Can I ask how did she involve the bar staff ? I'm still at a loss at how the pub got involved. Was there an argument between the two of you? How did they get to know about the situation then bar you?

[Kate!]

Thanks for clearing it up.

Can I ask how did she involve the bar staff ? I'm still at a loss at how the pub got involved. Was there an argument between the two of you? How did they get to know about the situation then bar you?

No there was no argument. She went to the bar and cried crocodile tears and made the allegation. We were all confused when the manager came over and kicked me out.

[GiRTh]

No there was no argument. She went to the bar and cried crocodile tears and made the allegation. We were all confused when the manager came over and kicked me out.
She sounds awful did you see this type of behaviour before from her? When the landlord kicked you out did he say it was because of what the other woman said. I still think it was a bit of an overreaction for them to bar just you so I'm fishing for anything else that might have happened to influence their decision

[AnnieK]

Did any of the other ladies hear her say the money was a treat? I can't see what kind of legal case you could have but if the pub is part of a brewery, you could write to the Head Office and make a formal complaint against the barring and see if they will reverse it, giving the reasons you think you were unfairly dealt with if you don't think it's worth speaking again to the landlord now the dust has settled. :shrug:

[Kate!]

She sounds awful did you see this type of behaviour before from her? When the landlord kicked you out did he say it was because of what the other woman said. I still think it was a bit of an overreaction for them to bar just you so I'm fishing for anything else that might have happened to influence their decision

No she's always been absolutely lovely. I was confused and shocked. He said I'd upset a customer and told me to leave and not come back. The others.were confused as well as she gave me the money discreetly so they didn't know what on earth was going on. I did try to speak but he just walked away so I left.

[Crimson Dynamo]

I may be going out on a limb here but if true, and it's a big if,

I'd wager the other lady may have a very different tale to tell...

And the pub

[GiRTh]

No she's always been absolutely lovely. I was confused and shocked. He said I'd upset a customer and told me to leave and not come back. The others.were confused as well as she gave me the money discreetly so they didn't know what on earth was going on. I did try to speak but he just walked away so I left.The landlord told you that you had upset a customer but would not hear your side. This is even more confusing and I think you've got every right to be angry.

As Annie has said, try going to the pub franchise as I would imagine this is not how they would like their pubs to be run.

You say she gave you the money discreetly. So whats the time line? How long after giving you the money did she complain to the bar staff. Thats another thing, did she complain to the bar staff or directly to the manager.

[GiRTh]

I may be going out on a limb here but if true, and it's a big if,

I'd wager the other lady may have a very different tale to tell...

And the pubYou're not helping. :fist:

[Kate!]

I may be going out on a limb here but if true, and it's a big if,

I'd wager the other lady may have a very different tale to tell...

And the pub

The other lady, not that she is a lady tbh, has since begged my forgiveness and said she doesn't know why she did it? However I'm done with her. I won't be treated that way when I was so generous with her. You believe what you want, but it's very spiteful amd nasty minded of you.

[GiRTh]

The other lady, not that she is a lady tbh, has since begged my forgiveness and said she doesn't know why she did it? However I'm done with her. I won't be treated that way when I was so generous with her. You believe what you want, but it's very spiteful amd nasty minded of you.WTF these are new details. You still see her after what she did?

[Kate!]

The landlord told you that you had upset a customer but would not hear your side. This is even more confusing and I think you've got every right to be angry.

As Annie has said, try going to the pub franchise as I would imagine this is not how they would like their pubs to be run.

You say she gave you the money discreetly. So whats the time line? How long after giving you the money did she complain to the bar staff. Thats another thing, did she complain to the bar staff or directly to the manager.

An hour after giving me the money. She complained to the bar staff. They told the manager.

[Kate!]

WTF these are new details. You still see her after what she did?

No, she rang me up. I'll never see her again.

[GiRTh]

An hour after giving me the money. She complained to the bar staff. They told the manager.She told the bar staff and they escalated it to the manager. She must have spun quite a story.

Can you think of any motivation she may have had to do this?

[Ammi]

…(…I guess…)…because the pub manager/staff didn’t ask for your story of the event, Kate…and just barred you on what the lady had said and didn’t allow you a voice…?…it could be seen as being a discriminatory action and that’s why the CAB person felt you may have a legal case…?….but I still feel that possibly having a case and going ahead with that case is something for you to consider carefully and decide…

[Kate!]

She told the bar staff and they escalated it to the manager. She must have spun quite a story.

Can you think of any motivation she may have had to do this?

No I'm totally bewildered by the whole thing still. She actually cried!

[GiRTh]

…(…I guess…)…because the pub manager/staff didn’t ask for your story of the event, Kate…and just barred you on what the lady had said and didn’t allow you a voice…?…it could be seen as being a discriminatory action and that’s why the CAB person felt you may have a legal case…?….but I still feel that possibly having a case and going ahead with that case is something for you to consider carefully and decide…Agree with this. Kate, there is no case here. You've been treated unfairly but you cannot prove it was discriminatory.

[Kate!]

Agree with this. Kate, there is no case here. You've been treated unfairly but you cannot prove it was discriminatory.

No, I don't think it was discriminatory. I am reluctant to take it further really. I just hate injustice and liars. They were swayed by her crying.

[GiRTh]

No, I don't think it was discriminatory. I am reluctant to take it further really. I just hate injustice and liars. They were swayed by her crying.The fact she was crying for such a small issue may hint to some mental health issues. Has there been any hint of this over the years. Actually, how long have you known her and how do you know her?

[Ammi]

No, I don't think it was discriminatory. I am reluctant to take it further really. I just hate injustice and liars. They were swayed by her crying.

…well, if it’s any consolation…(…and I know that it isn’t right at this moment…)…she’s lost a group of friends and if anything similar were to ever happen again within another group…?…it would be doubtful that they would be swayed again…

[Kate!]

The fact she was crying for such a small issue may hint to some mental health issues. Has there been any hint of this over the years. Actually, how long have you known her and how do you know her?

I've known her over a year. I used to sit with her at bingo, I found her really pleasant, and a nice lady. When I stopped going a few of us included.her started going to the pub. I'm done with her now though. It's unforgivable.

[GiRTh]

I've known her over a year. I used to sit with her at bingo, I found her really pleasant, and a nice lady. When I stopped going a few of us included.her started going to the pub. I'm done with her now though. It's unforgivable.SHe sounds quite manipulative.

Back to the incident, correct me if wrong. You gave her the money and a hour later she was telling the bar staff. Did anything happen between those two events? What do you believe she told the bar staff?

[Kate!]

SHe sounds quite manipulative.

Back to the incident, correct me if wrong. You gave her the money and a hour later she was telling the bar staff. Did anything happen between those two events? What do you believe she told the bar staff?

No it was her who gave me the money, 10 pounds. I gave her 25 last week remember? Cos she said she was struggling to pay bills. I believe she told the bar staff I'd taken money from her and wouldn't give it back.

[GiRTh]

No it was her who gave me the money, 10 pounds. I gave her 25 last week remember? Cos she said she was struggling to pay bills. I believe she told the bar staff I'd taken money from her and wouldn't give it back.This implies she told them you stole it. This is making more sense now. Thanks for restating as I still am a bit confused as the order of events.

I'm still not getting a motivation, hence why I say she's manipulative. No beef ever?

[Kate!]

SHe sounds quite manipulative.

Back to the incident, correct me if wrong. You gave her the money and a hour later she was telling the bar staff. Did anything happen between those two events? What do you believe she told the bar staff?

This implies she told them you stole it. This is making more sense now. Thanks for restating as I still am a bit confused as the order of events.

I'm still not getting a motivation, hence why I say she's manipulative. No beef ever?

No beef ever. Totally out of the blue. The others were all mystified as well. It felt like it wasn't really happening. I was in shock when I left. As Ammi said she's lost a circle of friends. I can't forgive it.

[bots]

Yes, but to repeat, I did nothing at all wrong. And I wasn't aggressive, I just left the pub very quickly. It's very unfair. I don't expect you'd like it if it happened to you.

i've been barred from more pubs than i can count in my student youth :laugh:

As i said, there is no legal path to you being allowed to return to the pub, so you were misinformed if you think you can legally do anything about it

[Kate!]

i've been barred from more pubs than i can count in my student youth :laugh:

As i said, there is no legal path to you being allowed to return to the pub, so you were misinformed if you think you can legally do anything about it

I'm not intending to.pursue it now anyway. We'll just go elsewhere.

[Crimson Dynamo]

No beef ever. Totally out of the blue. The others were all mystified as well. It felt like it wasn't really happening. I was in shock when I left. As Ammi said she's lost a circle of friends. I can't forgive it.

We have only had your side. What is hers?

Don't bother to reply as IV heard yours

[Redway]

The other lady, not that she is a lady tbh, has since begged my forgiveness and said she doesn't know why she did it? However I'm done with her. I won't be treated that way when I was so generous with her. You believe what you want, but it's very spiteful amd nasty minded of you.

Tell her that the only way you’ll even come close to forgiving her is if she tells the landlady the truth.

[GiRTh]

No beef ever. Totally out of the blue. The others were all mystified as well. It felt like it wasn't really happening. I was in shock when I left. As Ammi said she's lost a circle of friends. I can't forgive it.You say she's lost the circle of friends but wasn't it just you who was barred. Will you not be going to that pub anymore? Thats such a shame.

As Annie said, complain to the franchise

[Kate!]

You say she's lost the circle of friends but wasn't it just you who was barred. Will you not be going to that pub anymore? Thats such a shame.

As Annie said, complain to the franchise

I'll just leave it. We have discussed going elsewhere.

[Redway]

You say she's lost the circle of friends but wasn't it just you who was barred. Will you not be going to that pub anymore? Thats such a shame.

As Annie said, complain to the franchise

Yeah. I definitely wouldn’t just leave it at that when I’ve done nothing wrong, even if I never drink there again.

[thesheriff443]

Yeah. I definitely wouldn’t just leave it at that when I’ve done nothing wrong; even if I never drink there again.

The thing is with pubs and clubs
If the landlord land lady say they won’t serve you and wants you to leave you have to leave
They don’t even have to give you a reason that’s why they can tell members from the travailing community to leave and they do

[GoldHeart]

No, she rang me up. I'll never see her again.

Kate why did you even answer her phone call :facepalm: , people like that are dangerous....if they can switch at the drop of a hat ,amd start making false allegations.

I would steer clear of her , whether she's got mental issues or has shown her true colours...non of this is normal behaviour. And the bar staff/ manager sound just as bizarre , if anything you would think they'd ask both you & bingo lady to leave to ' keep the peace / be fair' .

It's not like you thumped her in the face or swore & shouted at the bar manager I assume?... otherwise it doesn't make much sense :conf:. The bar manager sounds miserable , if this IS your local / regular place to have a drink & eat food.... shouldn't they know you're not usually a person who causes trouble? ... surely you must have been to this pub a few times ?,so they should know you.

Plus why didn't your other friends vouch for you ?. Or
didn't they want to get involved?.


Them taking bingo lady's side is either they fell for her tears or I'm guessing she's considerably older ? :think:...and that's played a part in them giving her all the sympathy. The whole innocent poor little old lady routine... just a thought?.

[Cherie]

Here is my take, the lady was a bit squiffy and got muddled
She shouldn't have involved the bar staff, it is nothing to do with them but she did, it sounds like she is sorry now she has sobered up, tbf Kate if its a first offence I would give her the benefit of the doubt, no one knows what her life is like and the weekly lunch might be a lifeline for her.

Now in regards to giving her 25.00, Kate your finances never seem to be stable so whilst it was very kind of you to give her that money, can you in all honesty afford to? You need to cut your cloth and manage your own finances, and let others manage theirs x Just my opinion of course

[Vanessa]

Here is my take, the lady was a bit squiffy and got muddled
She shouldn't have involved the bar staff, it is nothing to do with them but she did, it sounds like she is sorry now she has sobered up, tbf Kate if its a first offence I would give her the benefit of the doubt, no one knows what her life is like and the weekly lunch might be a lifeline for her.

Now in regards to giving her 25.00, Kate your finances never seem to be stable so whilst it was very kind of you to give her that money, can you in all honesty afford to? You need to cut your cloth and manage your own finances, and let others manage theirs x Just my opinion of course

I would find it hard to forgive something like that. What if she did it again?

[GoldHeart]

Here is my take, the lady was a bit squiffy and got muddled
She shouldn't have involved the bar staff, it is nothing to do with them but she did, it sounds like she is sorry now she has sobered up, tbf Kate if its a first offence I would give her the benefit of the doubt, no one knows what her life is like and the weekly lunch might be a lifeline for her.

Now in regards to giving her 25.00, Kate your finances never seem to be stable so whilst it was very kind of you to give her that money, can you in all honesty afford to? You need to cut your cloth and manage your own finances, and let others manage theirs x Just my opinion of course

Actually you make a good point about alcohol, I wonder if the lady had been drinking quite a bit. I just assumed everyone was sober.

If booze wasn't the reason ,I'm not sure about giving bingo lady a second chance...what if this happens again ?.plus she got Kate barred from a pub. I mean it's not the end of the world... there's other pubs I assume, but I'd be annoyed if someone I thought was my friend got me barred from a place i like to go regularly.

I wonder if she feels bad ,hence her ringing Kate up .


Whether the lady is manipulative, has mental issues or has early on set dementia.... Who knows. If she's ever let back into the group of friends... I'd be very wary of her in future.

[thesheriff443]

Actually you make a good point about alcohol, I wonder if the lady had been drinking quite a bit. I just assumed everyone was sober.

If booze wasn't the reason ,I'm not sure about giving bingo lady a second chance...what if this happens again ?.plus she got Kate barred from a pub. I mean it's not the end of the world... there's other pubs I assume, but I'd be annoyed if someone I thought was my friend got me barred from a place i like to go regularly.

I wonder if she feels bad ,hence her ringing Kate up .


Whether the lady is manipulative, has mental issues or has early on set dementia.... Who knows. If she's ever let back into the group of friends... I'd be very wary of her in future.

I know an old lady a few years back she rang me and said I was trying to kill her and I had been in her garden stealing stuff

I

[Redway]

Actually you make a good point about alcohol, I wonder if the lady had been drinking quite a bit. I just assumed everyone was sober.

If booze wasn't the reason ,I'm not sure about giving bingo lady a second chance...what if this happens again ?.plus she got Kate barred from a pub. I mean it's not the end of the world... there's other pubs I assume, but I'd be annoyed if someone I thought was my friend got me barred from a place i like to go regularly.

I wonder if she feels bad ,hence her ringing Kate up .


Whether the lady is manipulative, has mental issues or has early on set dementia.... Who knows. If she's ever let back into the group of friends... I'd be very wary of her in future.

That’s true. Alcohol is one hell of a drug.

[Kate!]

She hadn't been drinking, she doesn't drink.

[Redway]

SHe sounds quite manipulative.

Back to the incident, correct me if wrong. You gave her the money and a hour later she was telling the bar staff. Did anything happen between those two events? What do you believe she told the bar staff?

Enough porky beggars for one anti-Semitic lifetime.

[GoldHeart]

She hadn't been drinking, she doesn't drink.

Is she a older person?

[Cherie]

She hadn't been drinking, she doesn't drink.

okay well in that case I really dont know what to say, but it all revolved around money so my thoughts still stand, dont give money away that you can ill afford to

[Kate!]

okay well in that case I really dont know what to say, but it all revolved around money so my thoughts still stand, dont give money away that you can ill afford to

Yes you're totally right, of course you are. She made me feel really sorry for her and I had the 25 pounds so I gave it freely. What can I say, I'm a soft touch.

I still don't want it back but I am going to return the 10 pounds she gave me as a treat and have a civil word with her next week sometime. I'll just tell her as politely as possible that she needs to own her actions etc, I don't know in all conscience how she did what she did but it was terrible for me and I'm really really disappointed and shocked by it all. I'll tell her that. Then I'll walk away.

[Beso]

Give us the pub and landlords name so we can all give it a bad review on trip adviser.

[Kate!]

Give us the pub and landlords name so we can all give it a bad review on trip adviser.

What, you think I'm that silly? Certain people on here hate me, they'd ring them up, nothing would surprise me.

[Cherie]

Yes you're totally right, of course you are. She made me feel really sorry for her and I had the 25 pounds so I gave it freely. What can I say, I'm a soft touch.

I still don't want it back but I am going to return the 10 pounds she gave me as a treat and have a civil word with her next week sometime. I'll just tell her as politely as possible that she needs to own her actions etc, I don't know in all conscience how she did what she did but it was terrible for me and I'm really really disappointed and shocked by it all. I'll tell her that. Then I'll walk away.

I think that is a very sensible approach Kate x

[Niamh.]

Closed for cleaning

[Benjamin]

Closed for cleaning

Looks open to me. :idc:

[Niamh.]

Looks open to me. :idc:

https://media0.giphy.com/media/jBqtOWZT1Ca6A/200w.gif?cid=6c09b952og9bzs26dujhs8o6iqp0607reegky g2gyic5ddzg&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=200w.gif&ct=g

[Benjamin]

https://media0.giphy.com/media/jBqtOWZT1Ca6A/200w.gif?cid=6c09b952og9bzs26dujhs8o6iqp0607reegky g2gyic5ddzg&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=200w.gif&ct=g

https://media.tenor.com/c7rAwu1Eb9QAAAAM/smile-the.gif

[Crimson Dynamo]

Looks open to me. :idc:

what did you say about £10??

:oh:

YOU ARE BARRED

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTJDIysAem5kdk8XD77hIxkdzhQTiVu_ e8mww&s

[Liam-]

Closed for cleaning

The pub when Kate bangs on the doors?

[bots]

Closed for cleaning

Neems got our measure