If in a relationship are you allowed to look at other people?

[Benjamin]

Prompted by the recent convo in The Hot Guy thread.

Is it acceptable to find other people attractive/pretty/handsome etc if you’re in a relationship? (I’m talking purely looking/commenting about another person).

[Cherie]

wanders over to the hot guy thread...

yeah its fine, you cant avoid looking at people :laugh: would be a bit controlling for a partner to get jealous over it I think anyway

[Jessica.]

I don't find strangers attractive but I don't care if my partner does, it's me he comes home to and spends all his time with.

[caprimint]

Yeah I think it's fine to recognise the fact that somebody is good looking, but there's a difference between that and finding them attractive or being attracted to them imo

[Benjamin]

Yeah I think it's fine to recognise the fact that somebody is good looking, but there's a difference between that and finding them attractive or being attracted to them imo

Being attracted is different, I agree. I’m purely meaning looking and seeing people as attractive (like in the hot guy/girl threads).

[caprimint]

Being attracted is different, I agree. I’m purely meaning looking and seeing people as attractive (like in the hot guy/girl threads).
I just went and read the thread :laugh: Yeah nothing wrong with that at all

[GoldGlitter]

Do you find Pedro sexually attractive?

[Benjamin]

Do you find Pedro sexually attractive?

I think he is a very good looking guy. Would I sleep with him, no, because I’m in a relationship.

[Ammi]

…there is no ‘fixed rule’ about such things, it’s the people in that relationship that fix those rules and boundaries as it were…if a partner were to feel and say for instance…I can’t have you even find another human being physically attractive and if you do, we’re through because that’s not something that I can cope with…it’s up to the other person in the partnership to say, hmmmmm ok then…but that for many would be a red flag situation…appreciating a physical loveliness is only that, nothing more and nothing less…it’s just appreciating physical features in a way that we appreciate character features in someone…

[AnnieK]

Absolutely.....appreciating someone for their looks is fine. Acting on it is different.

[GoldGlitter]

I think he is a very good looking guy. Would I sleep with him, no, because I’m in a relationship.

If you were alone with him and had the opportunity you would. Just be honest.

[Benjamin]

If you were alone with him and had the opportunity you would. Just be honest.

No because I’m not that disrespectful. I’m not sure why you seem to think I would based on me purely posting a picture of Pedro Pascal. At no point did I say I wish I could sleep with him.

[Niamh.]

If you were alone with him and had the opportunity you would. Just be honest.Why are you so obsessed with Ben thinking a celebrity is good looking? [emoji23]

Of course people in relationships can tell if people are good looking or not fgs

[Kate!]

I agree with the majority in the poll and comments.

[GoldGlitter]

I think he is a very good looking guy. Would I sleep with him, no, because I’m in a relationship.

Would you sleep with him if you wasn't in a relationship.

[Gusto Brunt]

If you're looking at other people, then you're in the wrong relationship. ;)

[Benjamin]

Would you sleep with him if you wasn't in a relationship.

Maybe, but I don’t just sleep around.

But that’s besides the point. I’m in a secure relationship and we’re both secure with ourselves and each other to say if we find other people good looking. I’m sorry if you haven’t found that. I’m also unsure why you are singling me out.

[GoldGlitter]

Maybe, but I don’t just sleep around.

But that’s besides the point. I’m in a secure relationship and we’re both secure with ourselves and each other to say if we find other people good looking. I’m sorry if you haven’t found that. I’m also unsure why you are singling me out.

I've tried being nice with you Ben by saying good morning and things. You've totally blanked me. The only time you respond is when I'm being argumentative.

[thesheriff443]

Many ways to look at this
You can have an instant attraction you can have an instant mutual attraction

I can tell instantly if someone finds me attractive and that’s no being big headed that’s being really dialled in

I’m in a relationship with an attractive woman who get blokes trying their luck
I think the most disrespectful thing is trying it on if you are out together

[Benjamin]

Many ways to look at this
You can have an instant attraction you can have an instant mutual attraction

I can tell instantly if someone finds me attractive and that’s no being big headed that’s being really dialled in

I’m in a relationship with an attractive woman who get blokes trying their luck
I think the most disrespectful thing is trying it on if you are out together

Yeah that is disrespectful.

[Benjamin]

I've tried being nice with you Ben by saying good morning and things. You've totally blanked me. The only time you respond is when I'm being argumentative.

Not sure what this has to do with the topic. But yes, I won’t reply on PM when you originally PM me messages I deem as inappropriate.

[Niamh.]

Not sure what this has to do with the topic. But yes, I won’t reply on PM when you originally PM me messages I deem as inappropriate.:eyes:

[GoldGlitter]

Not sure what this has to do with the topic. But yes, I won’t reply on PM when you originally PM me messages I deem as inappropriate.

I said goodmorning ☕ Asked how did you meet bf? And have you been wild camping. How is that inappropriate.

[Benjamin]

I said goodmorning ☕ Asked how did you meet bf? And have you been wild camping. How is that inappropriate.

I’m not going to post what you said, I’m not a douchebag like that . But your first messages to me were not that.

[GoldGlitter]

I’m not going to post what you said, I’m not a douchebag like that . But your first messages to me were not that.

The first messages I was drunk and didn't know you had a bf.

[Benjamin]

The first messages I was drunk and didn't know you had a bf.

You did and that’s not an excuse. That is why I ignore the PM’s you send me. But again, not sure what this has to do with the topic.

[thesheriff443]

You did and that’s not an excuse. That is why I ignore the PM’s you send me. But again, not sure what this has to do with the topic.

I think it’s a way of communicating with you to be honest

[Ray.]

Well this thread took a rather interesting turn

[thesheriff443]

Well this thread took a rather interesting turn

Only if you are a nosey bastard

[GoldGlitter]

You did and that’s not an excuse. That is why I ignore the PM’s you send me. But again, not sure what this has to do with the topic.

It has everything to do with the topic because you tried to make me feel guilty about those messages but then I see you posting in hot guy thread about men you fancy.

[Niamh.]

Only if you are a nosey bastardMe :hee:

[thesheriff443]

It has everything to do with the topic because you tried to make me feel guilty about those messages but then I see you posting in hot guy thread about men you fancy.

The two are totally different

[Black Dagger]

~grabs the popcorn~

[thesheriff443]

Me :hee:

Of course

[Niamh.]

Ben breaking hearts and taking names

[Benjamin]

It has everything to do with the topic because you tried to make me feel guilty about those messages but then I see you posting in hot guy thread about men you fancy.

Erm no, I never made you feel guilty, I never even responded. I ignore your PM’s. The only reason I’m bringing it up is because I’m responding to you saying I’m ignoring you.

[Ray.]

Only if you are a nosey bastard

I watch a reality show called Big Brother.

Nosey?

Perish the bloody thought.

[thesheriff443]

Ben breaking hearts and taking names

Dion Warwick playing in the background

[AnnieK]

Ben.....ever the heartbreaker

[Liam-]

I think I’d get the ick if I was with someone and they decided that they couldn’t ever find anybody else nice to look at

[thesheriff443]

Ben.....ever the heartbreaker

He must be using my picture

[Zizu]

Prompted by the recent convo in The Hot Guy thread.

Is it acceptable to find other people attractive/pretty/handsome etc if you’re in a relationship? (I’m talking purely looking/commenting about another person).


100%


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[Zizu]

wanders over to the hot guy thread...

yeah its fine, you cant avoid looking at people :laugh: would be a bit controlling for a partner to get jealous over it I think anyway


Exactly


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[Zizu]

I think he is a very good looking guy. Would I sleep with him, no, because I’m in a relationship.


This is common sense stuff , surely


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[Zizu]

Absolutely.....appreciating someone for their looks is fine. Acting on it is different.


Exactly


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[Zizu]

If you're looking at other people, then you're in the wrong relationship. ;)


Nonsense. … even if you are in a relationship then it is perfectly acceptable to find celebrities or complete strangers attractive


I don’t even know why we are discussing it


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[smudgie]

Of course it’s ok.
Nothing better than appreciating all things beautiful around you.
You are still your own person, nobody else owns you or should try and stop how you think.:shrug:

[Zizu]

Of course it’s ok.
Nothing better than appreciating all things beautiful around you.
You are still your own person, nobody else owns you or should try and stop how you think.:shrug:


Yes

The whole idea is preposterous


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[Niamh.]

Of course it’s ok.
Nothing better than appreciating all things beautiful around you.
You are still your own person, nobody else owns you or should try and stop how you think.:shrug:

It doesn't even make sense anyway, if you can tell people are good looking when you're single how would you suddenly not be able to tell when you're not? :laugh:

[Zizu]

It doesn't even make sense anyway, if you can tell people are good looking when you're single how would you suddenly not be able to tell when you're not? :laugh:


Plus why would you suddenly stop finding people attractive when you commit to someone


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[bots]

https://media1.tenor.com/m/xmCVYPzu_j8AAAAC/simpsons-bart-simpson.gif

[Niamh.]

Plus why would you suddenly stop finding people attractive when you commit to someone


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The difference of course is that you just wouldn't act on it because you're in a relationship

[Zizu]

The difference of course is that you just wouldn't act on it because you're in a relationship


Exactly


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[Ray.]

I don’t even know why we are discussing it


Apparently because someone made a pass at someone and then found that same someone oogling Pedo Pascal in the Hot Guys thread. :shrug:

[Cherie]

aw I have a wee crush on Ben myself even though I am straight and married, its his chutney making skills that draw me in :laugh:

[Gusto Brunt]

Nonsense. … even if you are in a relationship then it is perfectly acceptable to find celebrities or complete strangers attractive


I don’t even know why we are discussing it


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:shocked::shocked::shocked:

[Ammi]

It doesn't even make sense anyway, if you can tell people are good looking when you're single how would you suddenly not be able to tell when you're not? :laugh:

https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExNGZtMTZ6MmlqMmdtYjYzZGFnZzQ4NG9 4aWpvM29xYWR3YmZsYnR0ciZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfY nlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/5tujE5k9bBte00XW3M/giphy.gif

[Kate!]

aw I have a wee crush on Ben myself even though I am straight and married, its his chutney making skills that draw me in :laugh:

Same here. He's a bit of alright :blush:

Plus he has my number one quality in a person, which is humour.

[Crimson Dynamo]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/be/Disloyal_man_with_his_girlfriend_looking_at_anothe r_girl.jpg/350px-Disloyal_man_with_his_girlfriend_looking_at_anothe r_girl.jpg

[Zizu]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/be/Disloyal_man_with_his_girlfriend_looking_at_anothe r_girl.jpg/350px-Disloyal_man_with_his_girlfriend_looking_at_anothe r_girl.jpg


Well you wouldn’t do that and upset your loved one ..


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[Niamh.]

https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExNGZtMTZ6MmlqMmdtYjYzZGFnZzQ4NG9 4aWpvM29xYWR3YmZsYnR0ciZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfY nlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/5tujE5k9bBte00XW3M/giphy.gif:laugh2:

[GoldGlitter]

Well you wouldn’t do that and upset your loved one ..


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Why can't you do that. You've all been sayings it's ok unless you act on it.

[Crimson Dynamo]

I guess the upstream question is...

are you in a relationship and when you masturbate do you think about other people?



:ninja2:

[Zizu]

Why can't you do that. You've all been sayings it's ok unless you act on it.


I haven’t


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[Niamh.]

Why can't you do that. You've all been sayings it's ok unless you act on it.Because ogling someone walking down the street is disrespectful and rude to that person and rude and disrespectful to your partner too

[Mystic Mock]

My Mom and Dad would never have stayed together if they got bothered by things like this.:laugh:

[Ammi]

My Mom and Dad would never have stayed together if they got bothered by things like this.:laugh:

…yeah for sure, a relationship is built on trust as a foundation and ‘you can’t look at other people and appreciate their attractive qualities’ isn’t a mindset that places trust…it feels very much the opposite and placed on mistrust of a partner…

[Mystic Mock]

…yeah for sure, a relationship is built on trust as a foundation and ‘you can’t look at other people and appreciate their attractive qualities’ isn’t a mindset that places trust…it feels very much the opposite and placed on mistrust of a partner…

That's my belief too.

[Ray.]

I guess the upstream question is...

are you in a relationship and when you masturbate do you think about other people?



:ninja2:

If you're in a really happy one, there's not much cause or opportunity to masturbate. :hehe:

[AnnieK]

It's extremely blinkered and a touch controlling to expect your partner to not find others attractive. Theor is certainly no harm in finding a celebrity physically attractive.....considering the chance of you ever meeting them is ridiculously low.

[GoldGlitter]

Because ogling someone walking down the street is disrespectful and rude to that person and rude and disrespectful to your partner too

Agreed.

[Benjamin]

aw I have a wee crush on Ben myself even though I am straight and married, its his chutney making skills that draw me in :laugh:

Same here. He's a bit of alright :blush:

Plus he has my number one quality in a person, which is humour.

Stop flirting with me! :fist:


:love:

[Crimson Dynamo]

Stop flirting with me! :fist:


:love:

not Ben doing a Nathan 360

:omgno:

[Benjamin]

not Ben doing a Nathan 360

:omgno:

:joker:

Don’t or I’ll get told off again.

[Cherie]

not Ben doing a Nathan 360

:omgno:

:joker:

[GoldHeart]

Looking is different to actually cheating, if all you're doing is acknowledging that other men exist....and that you also find them attractive,then I think that's ok. But if you are trying to contact them ,flirty etc then that's wrong:shrug: .

[Benjamin]

Looking is different to actually cheating, if all you're doing is acknowledging that other men exist....and that you also find them attractive,then I think that's ok. But if you are trying to contact them ,flirty etc then that's wrong:shrug: .

Agreed.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Making sure you delete your browsing history is also very good for a healthy relationship.
Finding searches for "Carol Kirkwood topless" and "Fern Cotton bikini hot" I just think
would just sow seeds of doubt in your partner. Also it would piss you off why they were
looking at your history the nosy feckers



:oh:

[GoldHeart]

Well this thread took a rather interesting turn

Popcorn 🍿 :whistle::eyes:

[GoldGlitter]

not Ben doing a Nathan 360

:omgno:

Straight people would love that.

[GoldGlitter]

:joker:

Don’t or I’ll get told off again.

There is always that one token gay man in a group of straights.

[Benjamin]

There is always that one token gay man in a group of straights.

Jealous it’s not you? ;)

[GoldGlitter]

Jealous it’s not you? ;)

Not jealous and don't care about social status. Its the way you treat other gay men compared to straights.

When women are flirting with you you're giving them hearts and when a straight man says you can change your sexual orientation you laugh.

[Kazanne]

I see no harm in window shopping,nothing wrong to just looking,we all admire nice things and I've pressed the one choice on the poll.!!! should have been it's ok to look

[Cherie]

Not jealous and don't care about social status. Its the way you treat other gay men compared to straights.

When women are flirting with you you're giving them hearts and when a straight man says you can change your sexual orientation you laugh.

Tbf to Ben, we have known him for years ..... :shrug: he plays nice with other gay men he has known for years as well, he is just a bit wary of you as it seems you tried to hook up within days of joining the forum...I would be wary of you too if you were straight :hee:

[GoldGlitter]

Tbf to Ben, we have known him for years ..... :shrug: he plays nice with other gay men he has known for years as well, he is just a bit wary of you as it seems you tried to hook up within days of joining the forum...I would be wary of you too if you were straight :hee:

What a stupid point. Because you have been here longer than gives you more right to flirt. This you saying you have crush on men while being married. I'm single

6000

[Benjamin]

Not jealous and don't care about social status. Its the way you treat other gay men compared to straights.

When women are flirting with you you're giving them hearts and when a straight man says you can change your sexual orientation you laugh.

No thank you. I know with Cherie and co it’s banter as I know them. You, I have no idea who you are and it wasn’t banter. I speak with several other gay men on this forum without an issue.

[Cherie]

What a stupid point. Because you have been here longer than gives you more right to flirt. This you saying you have crush on men while being married. I'm single

6000

Yeah its called friendship built up over many years..... I dont flirt with him either it was a tongue in cheek comment :laugh:

Just because you are single does not give you the right to approach someone inappropriately

You need to learn from your mistake here and take your time before you barge in, I am sure you are a decent person irl

also you have a very similar name to someone else on here and initially I thought you were GlitterUK with a new name

[GoldGlitter]

Yeah its called friendship built up over many years..... I dont flirt with him either it was a tongue in cheek comment :laugh:

Just because you are single does not give you the right to approach someone inappropriately

You need to learn from your mistake here and take your time before you barge in, I am sure you are a decent person irl

also you have a very similar name to someone else on here and initially I thought you were GlitterUK with a new name


I didn't know when setting up the account that it would be similar to other peoples name. I didn't know how to change it and even asked someone.

[Cherie]

I didn't know when setting up the account that it would be similar to other peoples name. I didn't know how to change it and even asked someone.

ah yeah I get that you can request a name change if you want by pming admin James, but its fine really its not that similar, how are you enjoying BB?

This is James if you want a name change

https://www.thisisbigbrother.com/forums/showthread.php?t=393426

[GoldGlitter]

ah yeah I get that you can request a name change if you want by pming admin James, but its fine really its not that similar, how are you enjoying BB?

I'm ok for the name change. It easy to remember because I have a gold glitter lamp when I'm watching BB. I'm enjoying it. What about you.

[Cherie]

I'm ok for the name change. It easy to remember because I have a gold glitter lamp when I'm watching BB. I'm enjoying it. What about you.

cute, yeah really enjoying it, good mix of people I think, and decent amount of drama that is not overly manufactured by the producers, the tasks have been excellent so far

[GoldGlitter]

No thank you. I know with Cherie and co it’s banter as I know them. You, I have no idea who you are and it wasn’t banter. I speak with several other gay men on this forum without an issue.

It's fine I won't engage with you anymore while on here. That will suit me just fine. Saying I’m not going to post what you said, I’m not a douchebag. You still mentioned the messages anyway.

[Benjamin]

It's fine I won't engage with you anymore while on here. That will suit me just fine. Saying I’m not going to post what you said, I’m not a douchebag. You still mentioned the messages anyway.

Because you’re publicly saying I’m ignoring you (which has non relevance to this thread). Hence I provided you an answer why. Don’t try paint me as the one who has done anything wrong.

[GoldGlitter]

Because you’re publicly saying I’m ignoring you (which has non relevance to this thread). Hence I provided you an answer why. Don’t try paint me as the one who has done anything wrong.

You're admitting you were ignoring my questions "Hence I provided you an answer why" All I did was point out what you did. It's you that labelled it as wrong. You were lapping up the compliments. Stop acting like you're the virgin Mary because I bet you slept around when you were at uni.

[GoldGlitter]

Please never go into a gay bar Ben. The drag queen might ask if you're a top bottom or side. You will run out hyperventilating.

[Benjamin]

You're admitting you were ignoring my questions "Hence I provided you an answer why" All I did was point out what you did. It's you that labelled it as wrong. You were lapping up the compliments. Stop acting like you're the virgin Mary because I bet you slept around when you were at uni.

Please never go into a gay bar Ben. The drag queen might ask if you're a top bottom or side. You will run out hyperventilating.

You know nothing about me. You’ve been on here all of 2 weeks. Don’t like people ignoring you or calling you out, then don’t send inappropriate messages. Simple as that really.

[Beso]

I'm never going out again with all you perverts looking me up and down.

[Zizu]

Maybe it’s time to get this thread going again !!


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[Maru]

Maybe it’s time to get this thread going again !!

Wait, it's time to fight over who gets Ben? Did Cherie lose custody?

[Benjamin]

Wait, it's time to fight over who gets Ben? Did Cherie lose custody?

She did. She refused to get me anything diamond laced.

[Zizu]

Just thought it was a rather interesting topic


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[Maru]

Just thought it was a rather interesting topic


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Most everyone seemed to concede on the answer on page 1

I don't have problems with husband looking and noticing other people and it's something we both talk about. Obviously within the limits of not being disrespectful to the other partner's feelings and making the other person feel like sh**. But I think allowing the other person to maintain an identity opposite you (and thus maintain self-confidence) is really critical to keep a good connection while in a relationship...

Anyway, I do traditional illustration, so when I do find a workshop, I go in for sessions with live models (ie nude) for figure drawing. We had some conversations about what was on display there :laugh: ... like someone so hung it swung around every time he had to "readjust" his pose... and yeah, the female artists tried not to laugh... some people maybe couldn't handle that, but to me nudity is just a reality...

[Maru]

Also, I miss Ray...

Apparently because someone made a pass at someone and then found that same someone oogling Pedo Pascal in the Hot Guys thread. :shrug:

[Crimson Dynamo]

Also, I miss Ray...

Yes!

[Cherie]

Wait, it's time to fight over who gets Ben? Did Cherie lose custody?

:joker: Yes, Im an every other weekend owner now :bawling:

[Benjamin]

Also, I miss Ray...

I know :(

[Cherie]

Also, I miss Ray...

Same

Pedo Pascal :laugh:

[Mystic Mock]

I'm never going out again with all you perverts looking me up and down.

:joker:

Especially if it's a nudist.:shocked:

[Mystic Mock]

Most everyone seemed to concede on the answer on page 1

I don't have problems with husband looking and noticing other people and it's something we both talk about. Obviously within the limits of not being disrespectful to the other partner's feelings and making the other person feel like sh**. But I think allowing the other person to maintain an identity opposite you (and thus maintain self-confidence) is really critical to keep a good connection while in a relationship...

Anyway, I do traditional illustration, so when I do find a workshop, I go in for sessions with live models (ie nude) for figure drawing. We had some conversations about what was on display there :laugh: ... like someone so hung it swung around every time he had to "readjust" his pose... and yeah, the female artists tried not to laugh... some people maybe couldn't handle that, but to me nudity is just a reality...

I 100% agree.